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  • File :1196070758.jpg-(158 KB, 450x419, Kharn.jpg)
    158 KB Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)04:52 No.839465  
    As a representative of Games Workshop, I am here to inform you of changes to upcoming fluff.

    The biggest change will be Kharn kicking Khorne's ass and taking his place.

    Please respond with any comments and complaints in thread.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)04:54 No.839468
    In before 100 posts.
    >> That Damn Mouse 11/26/07(Mon)04:56 No.839469

    Pfft. That is bullshit. Kharn wouldn't kick Khorne's arse. Kharn IS Khorne.
    >> That Damm Mouse 11/26/07(Mon)04:57 No.839470
    I can't help but think you're imersonating me.
    >> That Damn Mouse 11/26/07(Mon)04:58 No.839474

    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)04:59 No.839475
    How does I imersonating something?
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)04:59 No.839476
         File :1196071169.jpg-(55 KB, 444x518, khorne.jpg)
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    For some reason I always picture Khorne as a rather pasty white guy sitting on a ridiculously high throne of skulls and brass. Not a fa/tg/uy but just a regular, non-athletic thin guy, sort of like Sheogorath from Oblivion. Like sheogorath, he would be very jocular and friendly, but kind of nonsensical. He'd also have a bit of a frat-guy attitude about "fags" and "big words". Also, he'd be shirtless.

    I don't picture him being in anyway red, demonic, or bloodthirsty, that just happens to be the sort of realm he has control over, and he thinks its cool.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:00 No.839478
    Kharn isn't nearly strong enough to overthrow Khorne.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:00 No.839479
    This for all the Chaos gods.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:01 No.839480
    >Khorne isn't nearly strong enough to keep Kharn from kicking his ass.
    fix'd, and he's such a swell guy.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:08 No.839489

    Also I think Khorne's realm in the warp is sort of like an endless, steamy, internectine locker room where greasy sweaty bloodletters are perpetually coming in and toweling themselves off and snapping each other with towels. It would perhaps be the scariest place imaginable for a 14-year-old homophobe.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:13 No.839491
    Bloodletters are gay?

    Thats....wow. Freaky sex.
    >> That Damn Mouse 11/26/07(Mon)05:14 No.839493

    All those daemons fresh from the Flesh-realm, still covered in the blood of however many victims they got before being banished. Greater Daemons sharing a shower...
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:17 No.839495
    Yeah I don't see them killing if you end up there. Its more hardcore homo-erotic hazing. Laughing in demonic tongues as they chase you naked through long corridors of a Clive Barker / Wes Craven style locker room snapping towels at you and calling you a faggot.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:19 No.839496

    I'm reminded of that Khornate planet in the Eye of Terror from that story in the Ork codex.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:19 No.839497
         File :1196072358.jpg-(145 KB, 924x860, khornefags.jpg)
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    >> That Damn Mouse 11/26/07(Mon)05:22 No.839499
    This explains why Khorne hates Slaanesh with such a passion. Slaanesh keeps ripping on old Khorne for being stuck in closet and not letting his followers in on the joke about what it's really like up there.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:24 No.839502
    Or perhaps Slaanesh is his secret gay lover, and he orders his followers to attack Slaanesh's followers in an effort to cover up his realationship with him.
    >> That Damn Mouse 11/26/07(Mon)05:30 No.839512

    Oh God.

    It all makes sense.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:31 No.839516
    And Slaanesh goes along with it because she/he/it/alloftheabove loves it when Khorne gets all 'rough' and 'protective' over her/him/it/whyhasitgotsomanypenis.
    >> That Damn Mouse 11/26/07(Mon)05:34 No.839521

    Tzeentch clearly hooked them up.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:35 No.839522
    /r/ a drawfag.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:46 No.839530
    Frankly, it's not surprising. You amble about in the universe for so many hundreds of thousands of years with only three other beings on your level, you're going to fuck each of them at least once.

    I mean, how much time can a Chaos God spend sitting in his/her abscess in the fabric of reality and plotting horrible things? Wouldn't it be boring to just interact with your pet demons and cultists? And those lesser beings definitely can't adequately handle the mighty genitals of a god. You're at least going to experiment once in the maddening inhuman spans of shifting time in the Warp.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:47 No.839532

    They're all fucked when the Star Child gets back.

    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:49 No.839534
    I'de really like to be with you and all, but I'm not quite sure you'de be able to have my spiky genitals of doom.
    >> That Damn Mouse 11/26/07(Mon)05:50 No.839538

    Oh God. They have sex with The Warp.

    This explains Warp Storms.

    AND the Eye Of Terror.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:51 No.839539
    I just got an awful image in my head of Khorne slam-fucking Papa Nurgle.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:53 No.839540
    Oh god that would SOUND horrible.

    >> 4chan Party Black Ship 11/26/07(Mon)05:54 No.839542
    This thread is spouting dire heresies which would weird even Kharne out.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:55 No.839544
    There's many many issues with god/lesser being realtionships. Horrible mind-rending boners from beyond the stars, STDS so potent thay can make a man explode, difficulty in maintaining arousal with the screams of the damned going 24/7, crsuhing, every nerve in your body shorting out when Slaanesh gives you a quick interdimensional handjob, the list goes on and on.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:56 No.839545
         File :1196074568.jpg-(3 KB, 82x120, 82px-NOUbj.jpg)
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    >> Paorou-sama !jXvdPmWDes 11/26/07(Mon)05:57 No.839548
    With every new revelation, this thread seems to be opening a rift into the warp.

    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)05:58 No.839549
    Oh god. Why must you destroy my dreams so?
    >> That Damn Mouse 11/26/07(Mon)06:00 No.839550
    >>every nerve in your body shorting out when Slaanesh gives you a quick interdimensional handjob,

    Now THAT is skill.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)06:03 No.839557
    "Hey, baby, how was your day at work? Want me to releive you?"
    "OH GOD DON-"
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)06:04 No.839558

    They'd be surrounded by Nurglings pointing and giggling. And Plaguebearers counting every thrust out loud.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)06:07 No.839559
    Meanwhile, the C'tan sit in the shadows and watch and wait and plan

    and watch

    and WATCH
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)06:07 No.839560
    We've all been ignoring Teezntch.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)06:10 No.839564
    Just as planned.
    >> Paorou-sama !jXvdPmWDes 11/26/07(Mon)06:11 No.839569
    Fucking Druids.
    >> That Damn Mouse 11/26/07(Mon)06:11 No.839571

    He'd be smiling.


    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)06:22 No.839585
    How did this thread get to where it is?
    >> That Damn Mouse 11/26/07(Mon)06:29 No.839602

    Right here, this is the turning point.

    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)06:32 No.839607
    I can just picture it now. Slaanesh is born in a whirlwind of decadence, its first breath tearing a giant hole in reality and swallowing the souls of billions of Eldar, their gods either consumed or shattered (or fled)... and then with a turn a giant brass figure appears from nowhere and punches Slaanesh in the face... and Slaanesh likes it.

    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)06:34 No.839612
    What is a truly little known fact is that Slaanesh and Khorne are secretly trying to set up their champion's together at Slaanesh's insistence so they can have a mirror couple in reality.

    Every morning Kharn awakens in a cold sweat and gripped by fear, and across the other side of the galaxy Lucius is forced to get a new bed. Neither quite understand why.
    >> That Damn Mouse 11/26/07(Mon)06:37 No.839619

    So, what happens if Khorne kills Lucius?
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)06:38 No.839624
    If Khorne does it? He sleeps on the skull couch.

    If Kharn does it? Well then I guess that makes them a couple, because they won't be able to split up.
    >> That Damn Mouse 11/26/07(Mon)06:40 No.839627

    God, the sex would be weird.
    >> That Damn Mouse 11/26/07(Mon)06:40 No.839630

    And damnit. I just realised I've been thinking of Kharn as Khorne for a good eight years.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)06:43 No.839634
    I think waking up in sweaty panic in a bed would be actually be a pleasant way to wake up for Kharn.

    I just picture him bolting up screaming out of a crater filled with the dead after passing out from overexertion in battle, or something.
    >> That Damn Mouse 11/26/07(Mon)06:45 No.839636

    I don't know how I would react if I saw a naked, screaming, caked-in-blood Kharn running full pelt towards me screaming "FUCK FUCK FUCK".
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)06:47 No.839640

    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)06:47 No.839642
    Well, just so you know, don't bend over. He doesn't mean that kind of what he's yelling.
    >> That Damn Mouse 11/26/07(Mon)06:48 No.839644
         File :1196077725.jpg-(9 KB, 200x300, 57.jpg)
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    I think this is the kind of face I'd make if I saw it. Right before passing out from fear.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)06:50 No.839647
    Okay, I lol'd.

    Frightened and confused and naked Kharn?

    Why is that so funny to me.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)06:50 No.839651
    Archived for the greater good.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)06:59 No.839679
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)07:03 No.839697
    The chaos gods are basically those frat guys in the RV who were in Borat. Nurgle is the fat one. Slaanesh is the one who would play "when the snake eat the pig", Khorne was the one who kept stopping abruptly in the middle of his sentences, confused, and said, "R WUMMINZ UR SLAVES?" I'm not sure what Tzeentch was doing, probably driving.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)07:04 No.839699

    Tzeentch put the scene up on Youtube and made sure all their friends saw it.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)07:09 No.839709
    And made sure the scene got in the movie.

    Just as planned.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)07:11 No.839713
    Tzeentch was Borat.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)07:15 No.839720
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)07:31 No.839730
         File :1196080291.jpg-(33 KB, 400x323, thisiswhy.jpg)
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    Look what you all FUCKING DID!
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)07:36 No.839736
    Divided by zero?
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)07:36 No.839737
         File :1196080605.jpg-(20 KB, 500x252, eyes.jpg.jpg)
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    ITT: I am lurking
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)08:05 No.839748
    I really want to see a shotgun wedding between Slaanesh and Khorne now. Tzeentch being the priest and Papa Nurgle holding a shotgun (or some other sort of weapon) towards Slaanesh and Khorne(in a dress).
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)08:06 No.839749
    Why is Nurgle co-operating?
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)08:07 No.839751
    Tzeentch made him do it.

    Just as planned.
    >> Random Guardsman !iPeb.UgkzQ 11/26/07(Mon)08:15 No.839754
    I love you guys, I really do.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)08:18 No.839757
    Dear Games Workshop representative:

    I don't play your games for the shitty lore you write around your toy soldiers. Do whatever the fuck you want with the fluff.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)08:33 No.839770
    Oh lawd. This shit has been archived.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)08:36 No.839775
    It looks like 40k sex jokes are my ticket to INTERNET FAME*

    *(dying alone and unloved)
    >> Anonymous 11/26/07(Mon)18:07 No.841153
         File :1196118420.jpg-(18 KB, 300x300, Star Child.jpg)
    18 KB
    >Star child
    Oh fuck its Paul Stanley!

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