Hail, brothers! For tonight, the eve of Emperor-mass, I present to you all... a tale from the Imperial Archives. Lest we forget the true meaning of this holiday. -INITIALIZING ARCHIVE PROTOCOL 247-AO95: AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY: The Horus HeresyYou know Lion and Fulgrim, Perturabo and Leman, Rogal and Konrad, and Ferrus and Sanguinius...But do you recall... The most infamous Primarch of all?Horus, the red-eyed Primarchhad a very shiny gaze.And if you ever saw him,you would be set ablaze.All of the other Primarchsused to laugh and call him names.They never let poor Horusjoin in any Great Crusades.Then one foggy Heresy eveThe Emperor came to say:"Horus, my son what have you done? Can't you see, this fight cannot be won?"Then The Emperor slew himin his eyes there was no sign of glee,Horus the red-eyed Primarch,you'll go down in history...-ENDING TRANSMISSION-
>>933414What holiday? Emperormas?
>>933683You heard correctly, citizen.
10/10, would read again.
A traditional gift given on Emperormas is the opportunity to die for the Emperor.
>>933693And to think the commander thought our recruitment poster was stupid. Proved him wrong, 'specially 'round Emperormas.
>>933696Hehe, yeah. I see more and more Guardsmen enlist each time. Brings joy to my heart knowing so many have such faith in The Emperor.
HERESY! THE GIFT OF DYING FOR THE EMPEROR IS A GIFT THAT HE GIVES US EVERY DAY WE LIVE AND EVERY NIGHT WE WATCH. ANYTHING LESS IS TREASON AND CHAOS.
>>933703Yes, this is known. However, on such a sacred day, we are given further chances to sacrifice ourselves in his name. Perhaps you should reflect upon that.
Not allowed to join in any Crusades? Perturabo was the one who was all pissed off because he and his Legion were basically given guard duty on conquered worlds.
>>933703Heresy! The Emperor requires you to live until you've met the standard citizen quota for production of molten slag, agri-poop, and lasguns. To die before fulfilling your duty is treason and chaos.
>>933711Yes, however, the Inquisition enjoys altering documents from time to time.
>>933414I lol'd. Fukkin' saved.
>>933715*BLAM*YOU SAW NOTHING! MOVE ALONG, CITIZENS!
>>933717Post a screencap for future lulz?
>>933713HERESY! EVERY HUMAN IS BORN WITH A BOTTOMLESS DEBT TO HIS MAJESTY, AND YOU ARE EXPECTED AND TO BE THANKFUL TO BE READY TO OFFER YOUR VERY SOUL IN HIS NAME WITH THE SLIGHTEST REASON!
>>933732Like Emperor's Mass, Emperor's Day, Emperor-mass, or, as this world calls it, Emperormas.
