Posting mode: Reply
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 2048 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • このサイトについて - 翻訳

  • File :1201739903.jpg-(64 KB, 500x500, Drew 01.jpg)
    64 KB Drew the Lich 01/30/08(Wed)19:38 No.1092796  
    Hi fellows.

    My name's Drew. I'm a lich.

    I have a problem, though. Despite mastering necromancy, amassing an undead horde, and finding an appropriately spooky fortress, I haven't had any adventurers try and kill me!

    I think it's that jerk VanBreuer. He's just a crazy wizard with an extra-dimensional keep, but he gets all the action! What's he got that I don't got? I'm a freakin' lich! A master of undeath!


    It's just that it gets so lonely with only zombies and my blackguard, Kiara, for company.

    Any tips for a fledgling bad guy? I'm in dire straits, here!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)19:39 No.1092800
    Hmm. . .well you can't kill yourself. . .so that's out. . .

    Jeez, this is a tough case. . .
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)19:40 No.1092801
    Well, have you tried animating dead insects? It could go marvelously with an undead garden, and it'll attract all kinds of do gooders to drop by for a visit.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)19:40 No.1092804
    Find a village, rape and kill the livestock, then ride away on the women. Leave the children alive. In 5-10 years, you'll reap the crop of adventurers you just sowed.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)19:42 No.1092809
    Have you tried Princess kidnapping? I know it's had a slump for the past decade or so, but I think it has the potential to be a boom industry, with just the right marketing!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)19:43 No.1092822
    I suggest taking up philanthropy. You know, riding around towns, doing good deeds, building orphanages and stuff.

    See, good adventurers HATE seeing evil people doing good things. It boggles their mind. They detect evil on you and then see you giving a new teddy bear to a crying orphan girl on the streets, and they go into conniptions over it.

    Just think about it, you're the town's benefactor, they see this, they try to kill you anyway, you get the action and you also get to see them fight the villagers. Then you just run off, leave a trail of clues for them in the forest to find your hidden lair, and then wait for them to come.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)19:44 No.1092825
    Try to expand your animating business! Everyone's afraid of a skeletal horde busting down their doors, and razing their cities, but only for a little bit. Why not branch out into business, organized crime? Blackmail the king/mayor/Grand Poobah into letting your necromancer henchmen into town, then offer goods and services to undercut the rest of the market! Dispossessed laborers and mobsters will go find the adventurers FOR YOU.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)19:46 No.1092834
    Have you tried brightly lit neon signs that say "Evil Lich Here"?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)19:47 No.1092836
    Perhaps you need some hair?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)19:47 No.1092841
    Hurdur I am roleplaying as the picture I put in the image field harharhar.
    >> Drew the Lich 01/30/08(Wed)19:53 No.1092859
         File :1201740793.jpg-(59 KB, 500x500, Drew 02.jpg)
    59 KB
    I tried that manipulative good deeds idea. Sounded great, I thought.

    So I went and tilled this farmer's field with some of my skeletons and harvested everything for him. Did all the work!

    He comes out, starts screaming at me, and then he calls for some adventurers.

    One was a cleric. He was mean.

    I tried to explain myself, but this annoying paladin kept running around screaming "SMITE EVIL SMITE EVIL" and cleaved all my poor skeletons to death.

    I think something more traditional would be good.

    How do I kidnap a princess?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)19:56 No.1092868

    See, to get the good deeds thing right, you need to go into a city and do it with the mayor's or town guard's blessings. I'd suggest polymorphing yourself in order to get an audience with the mayor and captain of the guard.

    But princesses... hmm...

    Well, the easiest but most expensive way is to pay a dragon to find and kidnap one for you.
    >> Nurse Verity 01/30/08(Wed)19:56 No.1092871
         File :1201741000.jpg-(58 KB, 209x130, Looking.jpg)
    58 KB
    >>1092859 I tried to explain myself, but this annoying paladin kept running around screaming "SMITE EVIL SMITE EVIL"

    Zee story uv mein life zat is.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)19:58 No.1092877
    Park a wagon with a sign saying "FREE CONFECTIONERIES" in the royal courtyard.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:00 No.1092892

    Yeah! Make everyone think you have some exotic new treat, or actually have that exotic new treat (BONBON GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!!), and wait for a princess to show up.

    You'll know if you see one because she's going to be really young, really pretty, blonde, and wearing a tall cone-shaped hat with a silk ribbon on it.

    She may or may not have visible cleavage.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:02 No.1092904

    Die monster. You don't belong in this world!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:03 No.1092907

    Woah woah woah. Wait. Since when have princesses stopped showing cleavage? My good fellow, I think you need to stick your head outside for a bit. Really now, a princess not exposing her bosom? Pf, ridiculous.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:05 No.1092914
    Find Castle
    Send elite troopers+blackguard
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:07 No.1092918
    Show off all the expensive magic items you have. Adventurer's would kill their own mothers for a +1 sword (That's why they're all orphans)
    >> Drew the Lich 01/30/08(Wed)20:07 No.1092919
         File :1201741673.jpg-(85 KB, 500x500, Drew 03.jpg)
    85 KB
    I like simple, delicious plans.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:09 No.1092924
    You might catch something other than the princess though. Especially if she's into "Dieting."
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:09 No.1092926

    I'm just saying, I've met a few who were complete prudes, okay? I kind of like it, I don't need to worry about keeping my boner hidden while I'm whisking them away from the castles on my evil steed.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:10 No.1092930
    Well, eventually some Inevitables will come around trying to kill you for the whole cheating death thing.

    They aren't adventurers though, but they are kinda threatening.
    >> Nurse Verity 01/30/08(Wed)20:11 No.1092933
         File :1201741874.jpg-(76 KB, 256x174, Gnoll Nurse4.jpg)
    76 KB

    Zat's vot mein fahzar zed ven I vas born, jah.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:11 No.1092936
    Brilliant! Who could resist?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:14 No.1092942

    My good friend, you have so much to learn about kidnapping princesses. I mean, hiding your boner?

    Here's a good tip : Hide it. In her.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:14 No.1092944
    Has /tg/ become the D&D monster support group?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:15 No.1092949
    I think you're better off hunting Road-Runners.
    >> Kiara Blackfist 01/30/08(Wed)20:15 No.1092950
         File :1201742112.jpg-(386 KB, 1000x1000, blackfist.jpg)
    386 KB

    Wh..WHAT THE SHIT? Free..free confectioneries? What the hell are you a gods damned GOOD SAMARITAN!?

    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:16 No.1092953
    Expand your empire. Dig out your dungeon, or take over new ones. Encroach into Lawful Good territory, and you're sure to piss off some adventurers.

    Or what would really attract some heroes is posting pics of Kiara.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:16 No.1092955

    I want to see you with a strapon, dear Blackguard.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:17 No.1092956

    Oh great. More D&D namefag RPers...
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:17 No.1092958

    Hey, I like this guy, he looks legit.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:18 No.1092959
    Dungeon Master style, dig under them.

    The cake plans never gonna work. Unless you're trying to attract a hambeast.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:20 No.1092972
    Oh come on, it's kind of cute.

    More this and less 4ed shitstorms and /tg/ won't have to worry about the rippling waves of failure that /b/ started.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:21 No.1092976

    He just needs a princess to attract adventurers. A hambeast works fine, as I'm sure anyone willing to marry her is only after her money and huge tracts of land.

    Besides, bringing home a hottie would probably make the blackguard jealous. And the princess dead.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:22 No.1092981

    Considering this is /tg/, it's actually highly appropriate.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:23 No.1092985
    Every drawfag thread devolves into porn. SO GET CRACKINg YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
    >> Drew the Lich 01/30/08(Wed)20:24 No.1092988
         File :1201742640.jpg-(185 KB, 500x1000, Drew 04.jpg)
    185 KB
    DARN PCs!

    You aren't supposed to come until I have the princess!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:24 No.1092990
    You should become and champion of good and dual wield scimitars while embracing the beauty of nature, and place two amethyst into your eye sockets.

    You'll get lots of attempts at your un-life then, guarenteed.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:24 No.1092992
    >>1092972 Oh come on, it's kind of cute.

    That attitude let a gnoll nurse into /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:24 No.1092993

    I kinda like the whole "no cleavage shown" thing too, with princesses. The caste-looking ones give a FAR more satisfying reaction when you rip their bodice off in front of their father.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:24 No.1092994

    You know what's really appropreate?

    How you fight like a COW!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:25 No.1092998
    For once, its from a role playing game that they're roleplaying from. I think thats an unheard of precedent.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:29 No.1093015

    Your sword.

    Stop waving it around like a feather duster.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:30 No.1093017
    /tg/ involves more roleplay than the average game of D&D.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:30 No.1093018

    Drew the Lich: Nyoro~n. 3:
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:31 No.1093022
         File :1201743094.jpg-(141 KB, 567x543, Lawlzar.jpg)
    141 KB

    Quick! Monologue!
    >> VanBreuer 01/30/08(Wed)20:31 No.1093024
         File :1201743096.png-(125 KB, 393x331, portrait.png)
    125 KB

    You pathetic toe tapping pansy loving skull! Your run of the mill skeleton armies will never generate the hatred or fear of my massive Steam Fortress of Doom (tm)! And when was the last time you oppressed a kingdom? I knew you were never going to amount to anything when you tried to crossbreed that tiger and that platypus in college. A lion and an eagle is terrifying. The Tigerpus? Not so much.

    You might as well start animating kittens in the pet cemetery, because the only thing you could intimidate is a 3 year old girl!
    >> Guardsman Gary !p24mrXpa8I 01/30/08(Wed)20:31 No.1093025
    Mark my words, the second you can powergame on /tg/, all that will change.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:31 No.1093027

    D&D drawnin' is a refreshing change. Thanks!

    PS: Good luck there Drew. Have you tried summoning an ancient evil? Demons are the chattiest little old ladies in all of the hell planes and I guarantee you they'll be sending out portents and signs to soothsayers and churches for weeks.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:33 No.1093034

    Harsh, man, harsh. I happened to like that Tigerpus.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:34 No.1093037

    He looks so sad!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:39 No.1093050

    PC: I attack him while he's talking.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:40 No.1093053
         File :1201743640.jpg-(42 KB, 793x585, Mad Ghost.jpg)
    42 KB
    Drew, you should invest in a few misogynistic ghosts.

    Pic related.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:40 No.1093054

    Quick, Drew, what's your charisma score?

    Use a quick Diplomacy or Intimidate check to stop them from harvesting your delicious EXP!

    I think it's DC 30 or something.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:41 No.1093057
    Ghost haet panty shot?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:43 No.1093068

    More than the living.
    >> Drew the Lich 01/30/08(Wed)20:43 No.1093070
         File :1201743827.jpg-(66 KB, 500x500, Drew 05.jpg)
    66 KB
    I... I'll show you! I'll show you all!

    *takes a deep 'breath'*





    W-what are you doing, paladin?

    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:46 No.1093077
    What about loli princesses?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:46 No.1093081

    Oh man you were doing so well.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:47 No.1093084

    Ouch...was that a critical failure that he just rolled?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:49 No.1093090

    T...that's a good question. I don't think I've yet tried...

    ...I'll be back later. Keep it up Drew! Don't let those mean cake smashers get to you. I'm sure you'll be a horrible lich one day.
    >> Drew the Lich 01/30/08(Wed)20:51 No.1093097
         File :1201744305.jpg-(114 KB, 500x500, Drew 06.jpg)
    114 KB
    Oh no...
    >> Kiara Blackfist 01/30/08(Wed)20:52 No.1093105
         File :1201744371.jpg-(607 KB, 1000x1000, blackfist2.jpg)
    607 KB


    . . .Drew?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:53 No.1093109

    I like this chick already.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:54 No.1093113

    ...ouch, man.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:55 No.1093115
    >> Drew the Lich 01/30/08(Wed)20:58 No.1093127
         File :1201744694.jpg-(122 KB, 500x500, Drew 07.jpg)
    122 KB
    S-sorry Kiara....
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)20:59 No.1093128

    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:00 No.1093131

    Not evil? A Non-evil Lich?! IN MY /TG/?!?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:00 No.1093132

    Drew, say something! Blink if you can hear me!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:00 No.1093133
    >> Wondering Ork 01/30/08(Wed)21:00 No.1093134
    >> Abaddon the Despoiler 01/30/08(Wed)21:00 No.1093135
         File :1201744859.gif-(210 KB, 500x799, abaddon_c.gif)
    210 KB
    A Black Crusade is the only way to go, champ!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:02 No.1093139
    The best way to attract people to your evil castle is to follow the example of the Uberwald vampires. Make sure to post plenty of signs telling people not to go near the castle, remind them not to park in the conveniently placed parking lot. Name your castle Dontgonearthe Castle. It's sure to work.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:02 No.1093140
    magic tears of magic
    >> That bard 01/30/08(Wed)21:02 No.1093141
    Guys guys! We can stop fighting!
    ..'cause I got +67 on my diplomacy modifier.
    Now we'll never have to fight again!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:05 No.1093146

    Can't say I didn't see it coming, but the execution's pretty amusing.
    >> Drew the Lich 01/30/08(Wed)21:05 No.1093147
         File :1201745136.jpg-(100 KB, 500x500, Drew 08.jpg)
    100 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:07 No.1093151

    lol'd hard

    poor guy
    >> Nurse Verity 01/30/08(Wed)21:08 No.1093152
         File :1201745287.jpg-(53 KB, 316x177, Hiding.jpg)
    53 KB

    Zis is just like ven I told mein folks I didn't vant to join zer Yeenoghunite religion, jah.
    >> Guardsman Gary !p24mrXpa8I 01/30/08(Wed)21:08 No.1093155
    Ouch. That's rough man.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:09 No.1093159

    I, however, didn't see this coming.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:09 No.1093161
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:10 No.1093165

    Someone who fails at being evil, so their neutral instead.

    'Tis a sad state of affairs.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:10 No.1093166

    Its okay Drew, we understand... as long as you tried.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:13 No.1093180

    You could learn a lot from this guy.
    >> VanBreuer 01/30/08(Wed)21:16 No.1093193
         File :1201745800.jpg-(170 KB, 918x1350, 1188170711433.jpg)
    170 KB

    Hahah! Neutral! Look at my pile of corpses! I'm so manly!

    Don't worry. If you can't hack evil, you could always be a druid. *snicker*
    >> Kiara Blackfist 01/30/08(Wed)21:18 No.1093208
         File :1201745937.jpg-(397 KB, 1000x1000, blackfist3.jpg)
    397 KB
    Shhhh, shhhh there there drew Don't cry. We'll have you evil soon, I promise. Now now Drew don't cry- SMITE GOOD- Shhh, its okay.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:20 No.1093214
    I love this thread.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:20 No.1093218
    ;_; Why do I like Nurse Verity?
    >> Guardsman Gary !p24mrXpa8I 01/30/08(Wed)21:20 No.1093219
    That's actually quite touching.
    >> Billy, Chaos Dreadnought 01/30/08(Wed)21:21 No.1093225
    I almost feel like BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW-ing.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:22 No.1093229
    I don't know, but we're in the same boat it would seem. A horrible minority, left off the bandwagon and shunned by other Anonymi for our odd tastes.

    Verity... a fanclub of two.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:23 No.1093232

    Keep posting under that name, I think you've earned the right to it.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:23 No.1093236

    Nay, a club of three. We shall fight until we see porn of her, and we will stop at nothing. It'll be a long road ahead, but if it is a journey you wish to undertake, you have my scythe.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:24 No.1093239

    And my katana!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:24 No.1093240

    And my morningstar.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:24 No.1093241
    Don't you mean your masterwork bastard sword?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:25 No.1093244

    Shise ganei baka!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:26 No.1093249
    Drew, there's just one avenue left at this point.

    Become a transplanarwebmaster by selling off photogenic likenesses of Kiara in the shower to the musculegirl fetishists.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:26 No.1093250
    Hush! There is a tender moment on /tg/...let it be
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:27 No.1093255

    Manly tears for Drew!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:27 No.1093257
    Please visit...
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:28 No.1093260

    gb2fchan, faggots. here in /tg/ we only allow musclegirls
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:29 No.1093262
    And my katanna.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:30 No.1093265

    Go back in your pokeball, slowpoke.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:31 No.1093275
         File :1201746715.jpg-(28 KB, 400x383, yuka.jpg)
    28 KB
    I was trying to find the picture of that Touhou girl with the beer (you damn well know which one I'm talking about), but I found this instead. I think it is sufficently strange to post, though.
    >> Synx 01/30/08(Wed)21:32 No.1093277
    musclegirl bad. too hard, tough. not good qualities in human.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:35 No.1093293
    Read the Goon Comic recently, eh?
    >> Drew the Lich 01/30/08(Wed)21:35 No.1093294
         File :1201746945.jpg-(128 KB, 500x1000, Drew 09.jpg)
    128 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:36 No.1093300
    >> Guardsman Gary !p24mrXpa8I 01/30/08(Wed)21:37 No.1093305
         File :1201747079.jpg-(23 KB, 354x256, skeletor up in this motherfuck(...).jpg)
    23 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:38 No.1093307
         File :1201747104.jpg-(75 KB, 436x677, mussel.jpg)
    75 KB
    What about Mussel Girls?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:41 No.1093326
    I really want to see more of this in the future. Best I've seen in a while.
    >> Synx 01/30/08(Wed)21:41 No.1093327
    they good, once they open up to you.
    >> Kiara Blackfist 01/30/08(Wed)21:42 No.1093331
         File :1201747365.jpg-(276 KB, 1000x1000, blackfist4.jpg)
    276 KB
    I..Goodbye, Drew.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:43 No.1093333
         File :1201747415.png-(27 KB, 99x100, Doom Guy avatar.png)
    27 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:44 No.1093344
    No worries Drew, being evil isn't about those bureaucractic, know-it-all two-bit alignments. It's not about whether or not you show up on the Evil Radar. It's not about how much damage that Holy Longsword does to you.

    It's about a willingness to simply let it all go, along with the flesh and blood of whoever dare stand in your way.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:45 No.1093348

    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:45 No.1093349
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:45 No.1093352
    Now he can turn evil in a jealous rage!
    >> Guardsman Gary !p24mrXpa8I 01/30/08(Wed)21:46 No.1093354
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:46 No.1093355

    Poor guy's probably just crushed and crying in a corner in his room right now.

    Poor guy. ;_;
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:47 No.1093356
    Nooooo! Don't go Kiara! Drew will never be evil if you leave!
    He'll gather stray cats to sacrifice, and end up adopting them! He'll be that Cat Lich!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:47 No.1093358
    You mercenary! You traitor! You, you... BLACKGUARD, you!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:47 No.1093360

    Dude, she's got a stainless steel sword-strapon.

    Don't fuck with her. Or fuck her.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:48 No.1093362
    Skrew her, Drew. You don't need her shit!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:48 No.1093363

    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:48 No.1093365

    ... I don't want to know how likely it is.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:48 No.1093367
    Stainless? You WISH it was stainless.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:49 No.1093371

    It's always more likely than you think.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:50 No.1093377

    Is... is there little bits of flesh and blood still on there from the last time she raped a paladin?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:51 No.1093380
    Wait, wait, we are not here to scream curses at Blackguards, my fellow fa/tg/uys. We are here to support Drew.

    Let's recap: Drew's got some problems, the primary ones being loneliness and a lack of Good-aligned adventurers. Now, solving the latter will, temporarily atleast, solve the former, so let's focus on that.

    Brainstorm tiem, guys. How do we attract adventurers ?
    >> Guardsman Gary !p24mrXpa8I 01/30/08(Wed)21:51 No.1093383
    I uh..I.. I take it back, I meant nothing ... oh god don't kill me.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:52 No.1093384
    This is one of the best threads I've seen in a long time, Bravo OP.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:52 No.1093386
         File :1201747930.gif-(22 KB, 610x625, popcorn.gif)
    22 KB
    I-I can't stop watching this thread. . .
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:52 No.1093388

    You forgot the part where he's actually true neutral. Not even you know...evil. Remotely.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:53 No.1093394

    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:53 No.1093395
         File :1201748030.gif-(568 KB, 200x136, 1196717771881.gif)
    568 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:54 No.1093398
    You're right!

    Anyway, I figure that if Drew become a necro-horticulturalist it might draw some visitors for the sheer novelty.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:54 No.1093399

    Awwwwwwww poor little guy.


    >>He'll gather stray cats to sacrifice, and end up adopting them! He'll be that Cat Lich!

    That cat lich? You mean...

    "Hey why don't we go to that castle?"

    "Oh uh, man, no. We don't go there. A lich lives there."

    "A lich?! But we're forsworn to destroy those undead monstrosities wherever they appear!"

    "He doesn't really seem to get out much, its minions keep to their side of the mountain and, well...he has all those cats. You know. LOTS of cats."

    "...ohhh, the CAT lich."

    "Right. Let's go fight that beholder cult instead."
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:54 No.1093400
    Dress up in a cloak, sit in the shadowy corner of a tavern and wait!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:54 No.1093404

    Kidnap children for sacrifices to some lich god or another. That ALWAYS works.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:55 No.1093408
    Okay forget undead gardens. Undead dance choreographies.
    >> Drew the Lich 01/30/08(Wed)21:56 No.1093411
         File :1201748188.jpg-(130 KB, 500x1000, Drew 10.jpg)
    130 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:56 No.1093412

    C'mon, his alignment problem is at best secondary - at worst it's an embarrassing problem, at best it's immunity to a solid chunk of the Paladin's and the Cleric's weapons.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:57 No.1093414

    Oh god I lol'd!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:57 No.1093420
         File :1201748261.jpg-(216 KB, 722x604, Hmmmm.jpg)
    216 KB

    He could... no wait... pass.
    >> Guardsman Gary !p24mrXpa8I 01/30/08(Wed)21:58 No.1093424
    It's a Skeletor figurine? That's hardcore.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:59 No.1093425
    Drew, ask yourself something important. WHY do you want to attract adventurers? Power? You're a freakin' lich, you have that. Fame? As a lich you know that that's not only fleeting but that it can take time to grow. Respect? Drew, who's going to respect you if you don't respect...yourself.

    Take some time to think about what your GOALS are, man.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)21:59 No.1093428


    God damn it Drew. This can't go on like this. You have to do something. You have to stop being True Neutral and think Chaotic Evil!

    No wait...I had a sudden inspiration.

    If there's no real Chaotic Evil to compare you with, that means anything remotely bad you do would be taken as evil.

    With that said, there's only one thing left to do Drew! You know what I mean right?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:00 No.1093431
    All he has to do is shuffle up to an innkeeper's or mayor's daughter and sort of shyly say "I think you're pretty".

    While he's running off, the daughter's overprotective father is going to hire as many adventurers as he can to kill the lich before he can seduce his only child.

    Bonus points if his bashfulness and disarmingly charming ineptitude actually DO seduce the girl.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:00 No.1093434
    Adventurers make good wights.
    >> Guardsman Harry 01/30/08(Wed)22:01 No.1093436
         File :1201748503.jpg-(26 KB, 533x250, poguespan.jpg)
    26 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:02 No.1093437

    I read that as "adventurers make good weights" at first.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:02 No.1093438
    What if the father is supportive of undead rights?
    >> Guardsman Gary !p24mrXpa8I 01/30/08(Wed)22:03 No.1093441
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:03 No.1093442
    Drew...are you sure you want to be a villian? It may not be your thing. I realize there is a lot of pressure for you to be evil, being a lich and all.

    But its YOUR decision. If you don't want to be evil, you don't have to be.
    >> Billy, Chaos Dreadnought 01/30/08(Wed)22:03 No.1093443
    woulda been better if it was, "Drew... I'm pregnant..."
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:04 No.1093446


    Oh god, Drew, have the hippies managed to get to your end of the continent yet? If not, you've got a chance!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:05 No.1093452
    I'm thinkin' a primary concern here is publicity. Drew, it seems, is poised to becoming known as something of a ... "feline appreciateur". Ahem. Steps must be taken to remedy this. I suggest the addition of more classical undeads, supplemented with elements of more rare, more dangerous undeads. Keeping in mind the loneliness problem, intelligent undead such as vampires or ghosts come to mind, although how Drew would go about acquiring the services of such, I do not know.

    Alternatively, his minions need not be undead. There ARE cults of death-obsessed monks, for one thing; maybe he could contact one of those ?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:06 No.1093458

    Don't tell him to quit; Drew is a master of the dark arts, he can't be a quitter! He just needs to pick himself up, dust off his shoulderblades and ribcage, and try, try again!
    >> Nurse Verity 01/30/08(Wed)22:07 No.1093464

    How vould zat even verk?!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:08 No.1093466

    Your a nurse, you tell us!
    >> Guardsman Gary !p24mrXpa8I 01/30/08(Wed)22:09 No.1093468
    Time travel. Solves everything.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:09 No.1093469

    YOU'RE asking this ? YOU ?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:09 No.1093470

    It happens when a guy sticks his thing into a woman's thing and they keep going until they reach the point of fulljoy.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:11 No.1093473

    Lemme guess, there was an accident with a contraceptive ?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:12 No.1093476

    By it not being Drew's baby.

    Because it's VanBreur's baby.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:12 No.1093477

    I have the strangest feeling that this nurse may in fact not be a nurse after all..
    >> Guardsman Gary 01/30/08(Wed)22:13 No.1093480
    ... oh wow. Don't tell me we're going to have another Yrag on our hands thanks to you. You know how it always ends. They screw up, then they blame US.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:13 No.1093481
    Drew doesn't have genitalia

    they decayed long ago
    >> Guardsman Gary !p24mrXpa8I 01/30/08(Wed)22:13 No.1093482
    No no no, that's clearly a Remove Disease situation, or iron heart Surge, in a pinch.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:14 No.1093484
    He could piss off another group. Who hates liches? Peasants. Inevitables. Mindflayers. Most good-aligned priests. There's TONS of potential arch nemesis to beat!
    >> Kiara Blackfist 01/30/08(Wed)22:14 No.1093485
         File :1201749255.jpg-(439 KB, 1000x1000, blackfist5.jpg)
    439 KB
    Drew. . .
    >> Drew the Lich 01/30/08(Wed)22:14 No.1093487
         File :1201749295.jpg-(68 KB, 500x500, Drew 11.jpg)
    68 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:15 No.1093488

    Dear Other Drawfag:

    Stop it! :(
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:15 No.1093489
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:16 No.1093490

    Aggh noooooooooooo tell us what time zone!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:16 No.1093493
    The other drawfag seems to be a friend of Drew's drawfag. This drawfag is made of win and awesome, too.
    >> Nurse Verity 01/30/08(Wed)22:16 No.1093494
         File :1201749385.jpg-(32 KB, 60x70, Crazy.jpg)
    32 KB

    I am a nurse, not Nekromancer.


    But zis subject is vot vee in zee medikal craft call zee "Livink Impaired".

    >>1093476 Because it's VanBreur's baby.

    Zat... BITCH!
    >> Guardsman Gary !p24mrXpa8I 01/30/08(Wed)22:16 No.1093495
    why do they always go for the abusive ones? just can't get my head around it. I swear..
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:16 No.1093496
    Pacific. Probably around 4:00 PM.
    >> Usually Random 01/30/08(Wed)22:17 No.1093498
    Dear Mr. the Lich,

    Have you tried luring over an unsuspecting person or persons to your evil fortress, like say cause their carriage to break down in the middle of a thunderstorm that "just started out of the blue"?

    You can give them shelter and confide in them in clever hints that you're planning doing bad things to where-ever they are from or where-ever they are going. Throw them in the dungeon at the first chance you get after that, threaten to eat them and their children and then lock them up in a cell, the one with a "secret way" out. Let them escape, give em chase with some of your evil horde so they don't come back and let them go.

    Adventurers should soon follow to put an end to your "evil plot". If nothing happens in about a week, set the nearest town on fire and let one family survive to tell the tale.

    Good luck!
    >> Guardsman Gary !p24mrXpa8I 01/30/08(Wed)22:18 No.1093501
    Perfect for me, fellow pacififag here.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:18 No.1093502
         File :1201749495.jpg-(231 KB, 611x650, 1200930673608.jpg)
    231 KB
    You deserved what you got, greedy bitch. Anon feels no sympathy for you. And neither should Drew. Because he's evil, no matter what the paladin says.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:18 No.1093503

    All the drawfags work in tandem with one another.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:19 No.1093513
    >>1093024 The Tigerpus

    /r/ Tigerpus
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:20 No.1093514
    The only question is, is Drew going evil, or emo? Let it be Evil! Or at least Angry! Neutral Angry Liches are the best Liches Drew.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:21 No.1093518
         File :1201749675.gif-(6 KB, 80x80, 3.gif)
    6 KB
    Im fucking confused.
    >> Guardsman Gary 01/30/08(Wed)22:22 No.1093522
    That's because you're a dumbass.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:23 No.1093531
         File :1201749817.jpg-(70 KB, 640x480, 1200988734629.jpg)
    70 KB
    *pic related

    oh, 7pm east coast-ies like me. That will do
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:23 No.1093533
    Oh fuck. Did anyone else notice how Drew's looking a bit GRIMANDDARK there?

    This is going to be so awesome.
    >> Brother Volus 01/30/08(Wed)22:26 No.1093543
         File :1201749977.gif-(6 KB, 80x80, 5.gif)
    6 KB
    But your gay.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:26 No.1093546
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:27 No.1093547
    Drew, I feel ya, bro. Solidarity.

    We totally need to archive this.
    >> Brother Volus 01/30/08(Wed)22:28 No.1093548
         File :1201750108.jpg-(3 KB, 80x80, RAGE.jpg)
    3 KB
    Fuck you and your GRAMMAR, if you had an avatar I would SHOOT YOU IN THE HEAD!!
    >> Guardsman Gary !p24mrXpa8I 01/30/08(Wed)22:30 No.1093555
    I voted.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:36 No.1093578
    Drew - I was drawing you a fanarts, but OC deleted it. ; ;
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:38 No.1093587

    I already got it scrapbooked
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:39 No.1093591
    The most awesome original content we've had in ages. Fuck yeah!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:40 No.1093595
    Agreed. Waiting for 7pm EST for my next installment of Drew the Lich
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:41 No.1093599
    Don't give up Drew. DON'T YOU DARE GIVE UP!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:47 No.1093635
         File :1201751235.png-(107 KB, 500x500, drewfanarts.png)
    107 KB
    There, redone quickly and sloppily. <:3c Oh Drew, you're adorable~
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)22:51 No.1093654
    I know this makes me a slowpoke, but I think Drew's Jewish.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)23:06 No.1093707
    In the end, Drew will get his girl back and become the baddest motherfucker in existance, or she'll die in the process.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)23:08 No.1093715

    Either way, good end. Fuck yeah, undead bonking!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)23:24 No.1093769

    A guy like drew needs to get a classy gal like Kiara a special something. Preferably vampirism before she starts sagging.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)23:27 No.1093776

    She's not going to give a guy like Drew the time of day. See, it's not gifts or fancy clothes or stylish armor that gets the girls - it's a big, stiff rod.

    And unfortunately, Drew doesn't have one anymore. Or if he does, it's less "stiff" and more "dessicated and useless".
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)23:32 No.1093800
    Kid's, he's a wizard. Specializing in Necromancy, and has enough funds to fund a fortress and more.

    Moreover, he's a high level wizard, master over the arcane, and since he's a necromancer, specilizing in life AND death.

    He can make her feel things that no stiff flesh rod could ever. And if he wants, he can polymorph himself to anything she could ever want.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/08(Wed)23:34 No.1093808

    But does he have... love?
    >> Billy, Chaos Dreadnought 01/31/08(Thu)00:18 No.1093986
    "Kiara, your first assignment, take out Drew. You only get one shot at this."
    "one chance is all I need..."
    >> Captain Sage 01/31/08(Thu)00:31 No.1094026
    You have my full approval Drew.

    Nurse Verifydfudyafd however does not. Please stop posting in threads like this.
    >> Anonymous 01/31/08(Thu)01:22 No.1094258
    Is it that hard for you to spell "Verity"? Seriously.

    Delete Post[File Only]
    Style [Futaba | Burichan]
    [a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / w / wg] [i / ic] [cm / y] [an / cgl / ck / co / mu / n / po / tg / tv / x] [rs] [status]

    - futaba + futallaby + yotsuba -
    All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.