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    02/29/08 - News page updated. *Click*
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    File :1205351640.gif-(91 KB, 800x519, world-map.gif)
    91 KB Stat nations as D&D characters Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)15:54 No.1323543  
    Started as a random conversation, matured into this venture into insanity.

    (I apologise in advance for fuckups of any sort, i generally don't pay that close attention to rules)


    The USA

    Lawful Evil Orcish Barbarian

    Str 28
    Dex 8
    Con 16
    Int 3
    Wis 3
    Cha 3

    Justification; the USA is lawful evil as it seeks its own good over the good of others (Like every other nation on earth), but adheres to a strict personal code (Or at least tries to)

    Other ideas not very fleshed out;

    Canada = Half-elf bard

    England = Old Human Bard with Longbow

    Denmark = Artificer
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)15:57 No.1323553
    i'd put the US down as true neutral myself

    with better int and dex scores, too
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)15:58 No.1323555
    the ghost of /n/ haunts this land
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:05 No.1323578

    I miss /n/ :( It was like /b/ existed again.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:05 No.1323580

    Can we get a justification for this? No nations are truly neutral. they all seek to serve their self interest. Oh, sure, some invade for the greater good, or cancel african debt, but they always need to be cajoled into it, and all get something out of it.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:10 No.1323590

    Chaotic evil Human bard

    Str 12
    Dex 12
    Con 16
    Int 16
    Wis 14
    Cha 18

    Justification: Because if we're not with the USA, we're with the terrorists.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:12 No.1323601
    lol usa lawful evil
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:14 No.1323608
    Chaotic Evil Drow Druid

    Str 2
    Dex 33
    Con 2
    Int 2
    Wis 1
    Cha 20
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:16 No.1323612
    why does the country that invented the airplane and the integrated circuit have an int score of 3?
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:17 No.1323613
    >Lawful .. Barbarian

    Someone doesn't know how to read the PHB.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:17 No.1323614
    Brain drain. All those people got bought out and exported to the Japs and Eurofags.
    >> Manyfist !!PTENINBEFgd 03/12/08(Wed)16:21 No.1323633

    NE Half-Red Dragon Troll Barbarian

    STR 30
    DEX 12
    CON 28
    INT 6
    WIS 4
    CHA 20

    (US is strong, and tough, however the people aren't the sharpest tools in the tool shed. Like them or not you can't go one day without thinking about them. They aren't that wise, not learning from History)

    They are a Troll because no matter what you hit them with they keep coming back. Half Dragon (red) because they are immune to fire (California Wild Fires) and are greedy, while pretending to care about the rest the world.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:21 No.1323637
    USA: (as per my personal views)

    Chaotic Neutral Dwarf Fighter

    Str 26 (IS HUGE)
    Dex 12 (Military is pretty mobile even if the population isn't)
    Con 20 (Recession/mismanagement/war/hurricane and still not KO'ed?)
    Int 13 (Disparity between the educated and undereducated is troubling, but largely irrelevent at higher echelons)
    Wis 10 (A decent home of academia)
    Cha 10 (Able to speak correctly and function at UN)
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:23 No.1323642

    >Con 20 (Recession/mismanagement/war/hurricane and still not KO'ed?)

    They're gonna be taking a few hits of pit fiend poison, if you know what I mean.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:23 No.1323646
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    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:26 No.1323653
    Chaotic Neutral elf rogue
    Str 15
    Dex 30
    Con 99
    Int 17
    Wis 10
    Cha 19
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:27 No.1323656
    Is this what Amerifags actually believe?

    Cause after all these reposts I still think it's a trollan hook.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:27 No.1323657
    Okay, let's do a good one:

    North Korea (DRPK) -
    Neutral Evil Yuan-Ti (lol Azn)

    STR 13 (Hello scuds pointed at Seoul)
    Dex 4 (Not sure how far they'll fly, though)
    Con 4 (Or how long they'll fly, for.)
    Int 8 (Reasonable smart without being overly intelligent. Knows when to shut up.)
    Wis 4 (AMERICA IS PIG)
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:28 No.1323660
    USA is also capable of casting Enervation, but not to the extent where they can kill an opposing nation.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:29 No.1323661
    Those CHA scores should be waaay lower. Most people outside of the US hate America's guts.

    I'd say five. Can function in a vaugley reasonable manner, but still manages to piss everybody off.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:29 No.1323662

    NE Alienist

    STR 10
    DEX 14
    Con 8
    INT OVER 9000
    WIS 6
    CHA OVER 9000
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:30 No.1323665
    Soviet Union
    Neutral Evil Half-Tarrasque Warlord
    STR 27
    Dex 10
    Con 30
    Int 9
    Wis 12
    Cha 20
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:30 No.1323670

    With that low a CHA score they wouldn't be able to speak properly. It's low, probably, but it's mainly due to bad rolls.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:30 No.1323672

    True Neutral Dwarven Defender

    Str: 13
    Dex: 8
    Con: 34
    Int: 13
    Wis: 12
    Cha: 14

    Hatred: Tibetians (2), Democracy (5), Taiwan (4)


    Craftsmanship: 1

    In an event the craft percentile ends up lower than 30%, the item may be shipped for full price anyways with a simple Charisma check. The item is deemed faulty when performed with a simple Spot check, at which point China has its Charisma reduced by 1 for three rounds.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:31 No.1323678
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    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:32 No.1323681
    Did /tg/ just fall for a "stat me" thread?
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:32 No.1323684

    That's more like it. Those stats at least make sense - Japan wailed on them and they have taken ENORMOUS abuse in the past without collapsing entirely. I'd still put them in the lawful evil category, however.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:33 No.1323690
    /tg/ is now in the process of getting shit done.
    We do not fall, we jump down the hole.
    >> Manyfist !!PTENINBEFgd 03/12/08(Wed)16:34 No.1323697
    Charisma can be about people hatting them too. Like it or not, even if you hate the guts (which I seriously doubt everyone except idiots) of the US everyone is so fucking fascinated by the US.

    Look at how many US v. Euro threads on /b/ you get everyday.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:34 No.1323698

    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:35 No.1323702
    N Half-elf Commoner

    Str 4
    Dex 10
    Con 8
    Int 12
    Wis 10
    Cha 18
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:35 No.1323703
    >>True Neutral

    I LOL´ED
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:36 No.1323707
    The USA

    Lawful Good Human Priest

    Dex 27 - See strength
    Con 50 - You can't beat 'em =)
    Int 25 - Book learning and edumacations
    Wis 45 - We've had experience
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:37 No.1323709

    Don't forget the -2 to all rolls involving trying to remember it.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:39 No.1323713
         File :1205354366.jpg-(42 KB, 298x415, 1196337529001.jpg)
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    why are you fatmerican so fat, smelly and ugly? or is it just the nerds posting here?
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:39 No.1323714
    You forgot the skills.
    Profession(Bus Driver)
    Profession(Rubbish Collector)
    Profession(Menial Labourer)
    Also, the Str is far too low for someone who carries the entire British middle class upon their backs.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:40 No.1323723
    >>Con 50 - You can't beat 'em =)

    Vietnam says "Hi!"
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:42 No.1323739
         File :1205354553.jpg-(33 KB, 250x196, godhatesfags.jpg)
    33 KB
    This thread is just one big excuse for /n/-style trolling, isn't it?
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:43 No.1323742
    What the hell's Vietnam?

    Why did you quote my post?
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:44 No.1323753
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    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:46 No.1323767
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:49 No.1323776
    Finland has more plot armour than the USA.
    I mean c'mon, they stopped a full out invasion of the damn USSR.
    >> Masterwork Bastard !wl59mComes 03/12/08(Wed)16:49 No.1323777
    There's the WW2-era one. Here's the current.

    Chaotic Stupid gnome commoner.
    Str 9
    Dex 9
    Con 15 (anything living in here is going to be tough)
    Int 3
    Wis 3
    Cha -10
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:51 No.1323786

    Grobnar, is that you?
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:52 No.1323789
    kansas can't fend of the obesity, but its trying!
    >> Masterwork Bastard !wl59mComes 03/12/08(Wed)16:52 No.1323790

    Didn't actually stop it, just kept it halted 'till the demands were lessened, screwed Germany over and surrendered, accepting all terms.
    Otherwise we would have been fucking bulldozed before long.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:52 No.1323793
    LE Demi lich

    str 25
    dex 35
    con 30
    int 25
    wis 40
    cha 40

    will be back in 2d4 decades.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:53 No.1323794
    can't you move to the middle east and die already?
    If you hate your home so much, leave.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)16:56 No.1323808
    Man, the finns get bitchy.
    >> Masterwork Bastard !wl59mComes 03/12/08(Wed)17:02 No.1323830

    I live off the welfare like a parasite. Besides, I won't be going east if I leave. I'll be going west.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)17:03 No.1323837
    enjoy meatballs touching in Sweden or being a greasy fuck in the USA.
    Don't go near Canada, Canada is a cool place. It's just like Finland, exept with more english.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)17:04 No.1323838

    Chaotic Neutral Elf Bard

    Str 20
    Dex 22
    Con 18
    Int 20
    Wis 20
    Cha 20
    >> Masterwork Bastard !wl59mComes 03/12/08(Wed)17:05 No.1323839

    Oh come on, when's the last time anyone seriously, actually used the "SWEDEN'S GAY DURRHURR!" -card?
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)17:07 No.1323847
    I'd say the US is pretty good on int and wis for the third most populated country in the world.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)17:08 No.1323854
         File :1205356084.png-(408 KB, 581x389, front-drive-snow.png)
    408 KB
    >cool place
    moar like goddamn fridge. You need +5 Shovel of Defrosting and Boots of the North just to carve a way to your car.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)17:09 No.1323860
    Hahaha no. Europe sucks hard.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)17:10 No.1323863
    US would have high int. Why? Because we are making huge leaps in tech. Yeah, our leader has done some stupid shit, but the nation overall is making some huge strides.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)17:11 No.1323865
    only +5?
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)17:14 No.1323871

    Wasn't our war. We just stuck our nose in. We didn't lose.
    >> Masterwork Bastard !wl59mComes 03/12/08(Wed)17:17 No.1323887

    Funnily, much of that was, in the past, done by foreign immigrants. Such as Einstein. Nowadays it's better, though.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)17:19 No.1323893
    Mary Sue spotted
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)17:32 No.1323937

    Except CERN does science better than you, despite being a single institution.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)17:42 No.1323963
    Look at The Uk's past..

    LE Human fighter

    STr 8 (Lets face it, while they aren't to be trifled with, the UK isnt very big and on its own, it would be little more than a speed bump for say Russia)
    Con: 10, putting up with the Muslims and such
    Dex: 13 (You got the SAS.)
    Int: 12 (Their education must be doing something right, with all the pretentious faggots roaring out of it)
    Wis: 9 (Many of you seem to be in the false persuasion that your country is not guilty of any evils
    Cha: 14 (Everyone likes the queen, damnit.)

    Que shitstorm
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)18:02 No.1324037
    This thread is just stupid.

    We all know amerikkanos think they are oh so superior but everybody else thinks they are just idiots. Things could be different but american leaders have fucked things up. -4Cha
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)18:05 No.1324047

    Pretty much correct actually, and i'm the britfag which posted this bloody thread
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)18:11 No.1324071
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    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)18:12 No.1324080
    Hell, I'm American and I've got a soft spot for the Queen.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)18:17 No.1324102

    Your thread is bad and you should feel bad.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)18:20 No.1324112
    Well we dont want her now.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)18:21 No.1324123
    So I understand. I'm not going to take her off your hands, I'm just saying that she's got some endearing qualities. Otherwise, she carries the same archaic stink as any other royalty.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)18:23 No.1324129
    Just kidding, lets not have another shitstorm like last night's Iraq war thread derailment.
    >> Dragoon !!td8L2Vy0XMe 03/12/08(Wed)18:28 No.1324167
    Sheen Bloodclaw's half-brother?
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)18:31 No.1324190
    This entire thread is just a game waiting to be lost.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)18:34 No.1324215
    If we're Str 8, you have to wonder what the Argies are. They shouldn't even be able to carry their own shoes.
    >> Dragoon !!td8L2Vy0XMe 03/12/08(Wed)18:35 No.1324220
    >just a game waiting to be lost.
    >a game waiting to be lost.
    >game waiting to be lost.
    >waiting to be lost.
    >to be lost.
    >be lost.
    >game lost.

    Fuck, I just lost the game.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)18:35 No.1324225
    neutral dwarf engineer
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)18:40 No.1324273
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    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)18:51 No.1324351

    You have to love xkcd
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)18:52 No.1324356
    WTF, who let the old /n/ fags in!
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)18:53 No.1324363
    You don't have to. But it sure is hard not to.

    Oh and I just lost The Game.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:07 No.1324770
    Ah the typical American hat-trick of arrogance, mindnumbing ignorance and complete inability to think critically. 'Americans' aren't any smarter then the rest of the world's peoples; in fact, the Americans are significantly less intelligent then the citizens of most western, east and south east asian nations. Your nation's saving grace is it's ability to throw trillions of dollars at research and researchers and even then America isn't exactly a leader in many scientific fields.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:21 No.1324864
    Fuck it's a troll invasion. Someone bust out the napalm.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:25 No.1324881

    Go back to your mudhut, faggot, and enjoy your high chance of never living long enough to die from a heart attack due to livin' it large American style.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:27 No.1324899

    That and offering scientists amnesty from war crime charges if they'll work for them
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:32 No.1324917
    I stand to live at least three years longer then you. Have fun with your inferior quality of life, life expectancy, wealth distribution, intelligence, sex equality, race equality, religious tolerance, education and higher crime, pollution, obesity, oil dependency, corruption, recession, scientology membership...

    America is pig disgusting.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:33 No.1324926

    And sir, where, may I ask, are you from?
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:34 No.1324932
    sage for blatant trolling
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:37 No.1324943

    True Neutral Human Farmer

    STR 8
    DEX 9
    CON 10
    INT 12
    WIS 11
    CHA 13
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:39 No.1324953

    Cha over 9000? No. The rest of Asia pretty much hates Japan.


    China, ironically, is becoming more Democratic than Communist.


    Tell Communism that we knocked over their fucking dominos.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:41 No.1324961

    I'm gonna bet from one of those shitty countries that get covered in ice every winter for like 5 months. They get all uppity. I bet it's from all the cabin fever due to living in a fucking frozen wasteland.

    I mean, that shit is not only going to give them nothing better than to read, but ice makes stuff last longer. And no one gets outside enough to realize that they should hate things different than them.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:43 No.1324973
    >China, ironically, is becoming more Democratic than Communist.

    Democracy is a governmental policy, Communism is economic policy. China is still quite authoritarian, I think you mean to say that it has learned the benfits of capitalism.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:43 No.1324975
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:44 No.1324980
    Excuse me, sir, we missed the dominoes by a fucking mile.

    Then, in their fit of laughter, Communism knocked down its own dominoes.

    Castro was quick enough to catch his before it fell, though.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:45 No.1324984
    New Zealand is a level 9 commoner.
    Australia is a housecat.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:46 No.1324988

    We were still the catalyst for the dominoes falling. America claims victory.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:46 No.1324993

    Oh, well, other way around, then. You live in a desert shithole where there's nothing better to do than read and everyone's the same race so who the fuck is there to hate?
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:48 No.1324996
    That's like claiming victory against someone playing solitare because you kept saying "Are you done yet are you done yet are you done yet".
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:48 No.1324997
    Japan High-Elf Wizard

    Str 8
    Dex 10
    Con 10
    Int 16
    Wis 14
    Cha 12


    Level 1 Commoner
    Str 8
    Dex 10
    Con 10
    Int 8
    Wis 10
    Cha 10
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:49 No.1325003
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    Spoiler: The views on this are entirely subjective, every country sucks to someone.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:49 No.1325004
    Everyone's the same race? You forget the Australian natives?

    Granted, they often get a raw deal...
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:50 No.1325010
    being in the pacific, you get fillipinos and asians in australia too
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:51 No.1325011
    Yet another product of America's failed education system?
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:51 No.1325012

    They only make up 2.4% of the population. They're easy to forget about.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:52 No.1325022

    No. It's like asking someone if they're having a bad day, then singing The Song That Never Ends until they punch you in the face so hard they break their own knuckle.

    But, yes, it's still a victory.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:53 No.1325028
    Australians should bet statted using the Catachan Codex, but this is a D&D thread, so

    CG Fighter/Rangers
    Str 12
    Dex 18
    Con 14
    Int 14
    Wis 12
    CHA 11

    Feats are based on surviving a harsh and hostile land.
    >> The Red Angel !!x4UZsNRzxWG 03/12/08(Wed)20:53 No.1325030
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:57 No.1325049

    I would like a cheeseburger. Not so much the fat blonde, though. Maybe a curvy redhead...
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:57 No.1325051
    10% of Australia's population are races other then white, 30% are immigrants. Australia has tight immigration control, America has incompetent immigration control - spot the difference.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)20:59 No.1325056

    America loves its immigrants. They do the work that we think we're too superior to do.

    It's win-win.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:03 No.1325078
    they also provide a convenient scapegoat for social and economic problems
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:04 No.1325082

    Also they're great landscapers.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:04 No.1325084
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:04 No.1325092
    Problem is that here in Australia we believe in things like standard award wages and universal civil rights, so importing a highly exploitable foreign workforce is out of the question.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:05 No.1325094
    Str: 18 (powerful military)
    Dex: 18 (Ranged attack: Nuclear missiles)
    Con: 18 (Resilient)
    Int: 9 (Kentucky)
    Wis: 8 (hard to see some things coming, a bit of a lack of foresight)
    Cha: 6 (Our dump-stat, not good with foreign affairs)

    Str: 14 (a pretty good military)
    Dex: 16 (we can has missiles too!)
    Con: 11 (Average)
    Int: 16 (higher education standards)
    Wis: 9 (not as bad as US, but still a bit of a lack of foresight.)
    Cha: 17 (Fun to be around, very sociable, sometimes comes off as arrogant)
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:06 No.1325104

    We believe in that last one, on paper. So long as you aren't gay. Then you get shafted, unless you're a lesbian. Then you have a budding porno career no matter how you look.

    Doesn't stop us from exploiting people who exploit our weak border security.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:07 No.1325116

    Too bad Europe's being bred out by Muslims.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:08 No.1325122
    -10 hp, Selfdestruct
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:08 No.1325124

    Chaotic Neutral Half Elf/Half Orc Ranger

    STR 14
    DEX 20
    CON 13
    INT 9
    WIS 15
    CHA 12

    Weapon Proficiency:
    Machete. Counts as Longsword. +5 versus grass.
    Tomahawk. Counts as masterwork battle axe

    Favored enemies:
    +3 versus Spanish
    +2 versus Puerto Ricans
    +1 versus Other Mexicans

    Skills: Fence Jumping. Car stereo jacking. Improved back stabbing. Lucha Libre (Improved Grappling)

    Past elf like civilization throughly raped by orcish invaders until managed to shape out a new identity, Mexico sits there unaware of its resources and spends most of the people spend most of their time fighting amongst themselves (probably due to the heat) Are in pretty good condition from jumping fences and running away from La Migra. Seems to be likable enough, though awfully goofy and foolish often gets suckered into fighting wars for it's northern neighbor
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:10 No.1325138
    80% of the top ten universities in the world are in america. 100% of the top ten universities are between america and UK.

    51% of the top 100 universities are in america. 64% of the top 100 universities are either in america or the UK.

    There are no finnish universities on the list. This is because finnish uni is roughly equivalent to american high school.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:10 No.1325141
    And white America is being bred out by Mexicans. OH THE HORROR! God forbid white people have to start actually living in a multicultural society rather then just saying they do.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:11 No.1325146
    It are fact becoz I read it on digg.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:11 No.1325147

    American High School is roughly equivalent to American Junior High.

    Does that mean the average Finn is as smart as a 13 year old American?
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:14 No.1325158

    Epic Level Paladin

    Str 30 (world's only true superpower. Even if you think their power's on the decline or think it's hollow, power is oft defined by perception and none can deny America is SEEN as the strongest nation on earth)

    Dex 12 (America changes fairly rapidly, considering all that's happened in their relatively short history, but they're also rather stable and conservative which keeps them from moving all that fast)

    Con 25 (Sure you can hurt them, but America is far too stable to kill. What people think of as instability that's going to bring everything down is a very relative concept, and an unstable America would still be more stable than many operating nations)

    Int 18 (First-world education system, and although there is definite societal gap between the educated and more ignorant masses, America's research and development is still some of the largest and best-funded in the world)

    Wis 8 (Strong internal divisions, indecisive society. Reflects disparity between available knowledge and the American public's ability to apply it.)

    Cha 16 (Not their likability per se, force of personality. They can persuade well, either through diplomacy or intimidation, and despite relatively recent and short-term difficulties, America has a lot of long-term goodwill built up.)

    Explination: Classic "Moralfag" Paladin. Can be scizophrenic in its' values or opinions, and rubs a lot of people the wrong way. So long as God keeps blessing it, though (or as long as America thinks God is blessing it), it is strong in its' convictions that it has not fallen.

    This reflects America more as its' outer appearance, if you feel this is rather a sham then you'd likely suspect more along the lines of a Lawful Evil manipulator or a Chaotic Neutral scitzo.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:14 No.1325161

    Only in the southern half of the US where it used to, at one point, actually be Mexico. The Pacific Northwest has shitloads of asians and Russian immigrants, the midwest are whitebread, and the east is... Fuck, I have no idea. Probably whitebread and Jewish. And muslim.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:14 No.1325162
    America has been drifting towards an evil alignment ever since we starting merging the corporate with the federal.

    So a Paladin about to change alignments and take a level in Blackguard.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:14 No.1325164
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    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:16 No.1325175

    The American High Schools aren't actually designed to educate you or prepare you to enter the workforce. They're there to exploit the students for government funding.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:17 No.1325180

    America is nothing that it hasn't been for the last 200 years.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:17 No.1325183
    i stand to live to be well over 90 based on my family history.
    my quality of life is extremely high - more than enough food, medical care, clean water, education, high quality housing, etc.
    my family is in the upper middle class and i will soon get my graduate degree. i stand to earn 6 figures by 30.
    i go to one of the top 50 most prestigious universities in the world.
    my mother works half-time and makes more than women her age working full time.
    i am dating a philipino girl and her family loves me.
    some of my best friends are buddhist, atheist, homosexual, etc.
    my entire family is in fantastic physical shape.
    both my parents work for the government and have their money invested in very secure areas. we don't care about the current recession.

    could we be outliers? absolutely. are you a jealous bastard? definitely. don't talk to me about how bad america is like you're telling some idiotic lawyer joke.
    you wish that you had my life. you wish that your country had what america has had for generations.
    think on that a minute internet tough guy
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:21 No.1325204

    "I'm a good American because I accept minorities. Look! Some of my friends are minorities!"
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:22 No.1325209
    Hopefully the ability Americans have to advance themselves into better lives will persist. At the moment, the country looks to be sliding into some sort of fear-driven police state.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:23 No.1325216

    How? Because of The Patriot Act?

    Jesus christ. Sometimes I have to actually agree with the fucking Timecube guy.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:24 No.1325225
    no, its more like this
    i say: i'm an american.
    you say: i hate amerikkka! you all hate minorities!
    i say: no, i hate everyone the same. i only like smart people. funny, from what i've found sub-races in Human don't receive INT penalties...
    you say: fuck amerikkka!!!
    i say: god dammit.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:26 No.1325233

    So you hate stupid people? Fucking bigot.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:27 No.1325236
    I'm more concerned with the completely-unnecessary REAL ID Act, actually. That and the fact that we haven't impeached Bush despite the many obvious abuses of power.

    But, eh. I'm not properly equipped to debate this right now.
    >> Dragoon !!td8L2Vy0XMe 03/12/08(Wed)21:30 No.1325247
    Exploit us for funding? US schools are poorly funded.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:30 No.1325248

    I'd be more concerned over the lack of internal government security if the Real ID Act happens moreso than the government passing the act. And, well, Bush. Whatever.

    I don't like the guy, but I think trying to impeach him would've been pointless as fuck.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:30 No.1325251
    how does hating idiots make me a bigot?
    bigot: noun
    a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance
    I hate people that are too stupid to see that they are jelous of amerikkka and will take every opportunity to insult it. if that makes me a bigot, then i am the most bigoted person on the planet.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:32 No.1325259

    Doesn't stop them from exploiting students to get funds from the government. Because there's no national standard on level of education. So states are free to lower the standard and gradually increase it to increase their funding because it looks like the school districts are getting smarter(especially with this new No Child Left Behind bullshit).

    Seriously, the average GED graduate is smarter than the average guy with a high school diploma.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:34 No.1325269

    You said you only like smart, funny people. You're bigoted against stupid, boring people.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:36 No.1325285
    then i'm a fucking bigot. why in hell would anyone like someone who is not smart and funny? actually, just smart is fine with me.
    as far as i've seen the only people that "like" stupid people are the ones that want to manipulate them for their own benefit. i'm more LN thanks.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:36 No.1325289
    unless they're Albanian.
    Then they're more pro-american than most americans.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:41 No.1325315
    lawful orc? wrong gtfo
    >> Dragoon !!td8L2Vy0XMe 03/12/08(Wed)21:42 No.1325325
    Umm, no. Our money right now is going to be practically worthless and most of it is being spent on military funding, and not just on the War on Error but also all our damn bases around the world that we don't need.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:45 No.1325347

    go back to bed ron
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:45 No.1325352
    Level 5 Expert - CE
    15 ranks in JUST AS PLANNED
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:46 No.1325361
    you have no fucking idea what you are talking about. learn 2 economics. i don't know how you managed to make it onto the internet, but step away from the computer before you hurt yourself.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:48 No.1325379

    I'm confused how our money being worthless and the majority of it going to our military means that we don't want our own money and that we don't have education funding.
    >> lunarsandwich !2LEFd5iAoc 03/12/08(Wed)21:50 No.1325388
    you guys srsly

    I just took the bigggest dump EVER
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:50 No.1325389
    1. The dollar growing weaker compared to other countries inevitably leads to greater exports.
    2. More countries will, in other words, look to buy from us.

    At least, profit in the regard of trade, not in all areas.
    >> Dragoon !!td8L2Vy0XMe 03/12/08(Wed)21:52 No.1325408
    Too late, I hit my head on the monitor.

    Buy what from us? Weapons? That's the only export that's worth anything, besides grains.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)21:54 No.1325427

    >> Ragnarok !uzgdUZUI/I 03/12/08(Wed)21:59 No.1325472
         File :1205373584.jpg-(7 KB, 150x225, 1175559781952.jpg)
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    pic related

    Also, there's a reason why /n/ was deleted.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)22:00 No.1325479
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    Imperial Spain

    Lawful neutral Human Conquistador

    Str 34 (Tercio formation)
    Dex 56 (Battle of Lepanto)
    Con 24 (800 years war with sand nigers)
    Int 34 (Golden Century)
    Wis 1 (Dump stat)
    Cha 45 (Pic related)


    Cristianize the shit out of you.
    Colonize the shit out of you.
    Animosity France and England. Fuck the heretics!!!
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)22:04 No.1325499

    Not being able to spell Christian is pretty fucking retarded.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)22:05 No.1325504
    listen to this man!
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)22:11 No.1325530
    Actually, on 4chan, not being able to spell "niggers" is probably worse.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)22:11 No.1325532
    ITT Canada beat US in the war of 1812.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)22:17 No.1325550
    i didnt no canada was even canada back then i thought they were still part of brittan
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)22:22 No.1325566
    Canada wasn't officially canada yet, but that doesn't change the fact that people who lived in what would be Canada in about 50ish years beat the U.S. in the War of 1812.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)22:23 No.1325574
    It was.

    Canada only finally broke off formal ties with Britain in the 80's. Canada didn't do shit. It was Britain.

    Fucking Canadians trying to steal our glory. GO FIGHT A WAR FOR YOURSELVES YOU PUSSIES!
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)22:24 No.1325579
    You actually make a brilliant counter-point to your own argument; being that regardless of the fact that you don't seem particularly bright or literate, you'll be earning "six figures" by the time you're 30, simply because you're a child of the elite. The elite in any country have a high standard of living, great health care etc. what defines a nation's actual worth is whether or not everyone else lives in mud brick houses. For example, my father and mother started out as dirt-poor immigrants (think housing commission) in the lowest echelons of society and through hard work were able to carve out a place in the middle class (a modest achievement to you I'm sure). Now, despite the fact that I graduated from a government school or that I have just one job, I am able to both enrol in and pay my own way through a medical degree at a well regarded university. Ironically, it's Australians and the like who are living the American dream, whereas you are ever increasingly living the circa. 1800s Imperial British dream.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)22:26 No.1325586
    Everyone gave you high STR scores, apparently military strength makes you good at everything.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)22:29 No.1325608
    why did it take you so long to respond? was it hard typing out your attempted counter-point?
    6 figures indicates hundreds of thousands of dollars, not millions - 100,000 is 6 numbers. also, i will be making that kind of money because i will be working in business and technology, not because daddy has set me up a trust fund.
    i am more than willing to admit that my family is in the upper half of the US population, but the problem with your argument is that america has the largest middle-class in the world. in fact, many of the poorest people in america have a living standard significantly above that of the "middle class" in some developing nations (what with modern transportation, communication, health care at the government's expense, etc.)
    I do not demean your parents or the hard work that they put in to earning something for themselves in this world. i see it as one of the greatest accomplishments anyone can make. i also do not insult your hard work to earn yourself a place in medicine. fantastic job. i hope to be as successful as you, honestly.
    what i do demean is your ignorant opinions about a country that you obviously have essentially zero experience with. you are annoyed that people have by chance been lucky and made out well. it's like a person who has been laid off wanting to burn down the house of the person next to him because the other guy bought shares in microsoft before it got big. makes perfect sense.
    i'd love to visit australia. beautiful country, maybe i'll study abroad there. how does their success make amerikkka a pigsty in your eyes?
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)22:59 No.1325720
    My point in regards to your education and prospective income was that the only reason you have you have access to your particular university and etc. is because your family can afford the excessive expenses associated with elite tertiary education in America (while the vast majority cannot). Furthermore, America's middle class is larger then average only due only to the far greater class gap and all around significantly lower standard of living that the American working class has to suffer, in comparison to other first world countries. I find the concept of being "jealous" of American success absurd, half the nation isn't 'successful' at all, in fact they're significantly worse off then they would be if they had been born in my country. If I had been born in America I would more then likely be selling crack or working in the family laundromat by now. Like I said, America is a wonderful place if you're on the right sight of the class divide, otherwise you're fairly consistently screwed.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)23:36 No.1325876
    Why does Mexico have Puerto Ricans as favored enemy?

    If we had three favored enemies, the first one would be Spain, sure. The other two would be France and the USA, not sure which order.

    I agree on race being Half-something, one half being whatever Spain is. But Spain an Orc?...naaah.
    >> Anonymous 03/12/08(Wed)23:40 No.1325894
    >working in the family laundromat

    A local business, in MY America?
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)00:02 No.1325979
    Not the guy you're arguing with, but you're kinda completely wrong.

    I was born poor as hell, and I was able to get a tech-school education and now am middle-class. You don't have to attend Harvard or any other 4-year to achieve easily. Most of our poor in cities are just really stupid. I'd know, I spent most of my life in inner-city Baltimore.
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)00:09 No.1326013
    true neutral is being only interested in doing what you think is right, if you think it is in YOUR best interest to save the orphanariun then do it, if you think you'd be better served by burning it to the ground, do that. Neutral means your equally likely to do either, so long as it benifits you. morality isn't an issue. A true neutral person doesn't care if it is good or evil only if it benefits them, much like America
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)00:16 No.1326039
    i have access to the particular university that i go to because i am smart enough to get in. i have merit based scholarships - not huge scholarships, but they make it so that i have only had to pay for graduate school rather than all of college. i agree that there are large numbers of people that cannot afford college but the number that can grows every year at a rate that exceeds the growth of the population (see the constantly increasing student population.)
    america's middle class is larger due to class gap? where did you get that? of course there are people in the US that are so wealthy that they make everyone else look like paupers, but how does that imply that the poor are somehow poorer? learn 2 economics. the reason that there is a large middle class in america is because of the country's massive GDP. if you have a moderate size population and a enourmous GDP it is inevitable that the overall standard of living is going to be higher. of course some of this improvement in standard of living is going to be taken up by the upper-class, but considering that they make up only a tiny percentage of the population and the common people are able to control their own labor (rather than being forced to work a la feudalism/ communism) they are able to capture the great majority of the increase in GDP themselves. of course there are a significant number of people that will not get much and they are the poor but in reality the great majority of americans are middle class.
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)00:16 No.1326041
    i find the idea that you are so misinformed about the actual state of the US hilarious. most of the country is quite successful, and probably more successful than in your country. you are just wrong.
    and i don't think you'd be selling crack, etc. you sound like a hard worker and i think you'd probably amount to much more than that.

    don't think that just because you made it through medical school you have comprehensive knowledge. you do not understand economics or capitalism and you do not understand america.
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)00:21 No.1326055
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)00:24 No.1326066
    gb2 /n/ i don't care that it's transportation now just get your whiny politico bullshit out of my /tg/
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)00:25 No.1326070
    forgot my sage
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)00:25 No.1326071
    and another just for good measure
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)00:26 No.1326074
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)00:27 No.1326077
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)00:27 No.1326080
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)00:27 No.1326082
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)00:28 No.1326086
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)00:28 No.1326089
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)00:28 No.1326090
    That's Colorado, you fool.
    Best damn state in the union. A mix of athleticism and high-tech jobs as well as a love of the environment. We're the "mary sue" state.
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)00:30 No.1326099
    >beat the US
    Which is why the US lost the War of 1812, right? lawl.
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)01:03 No.1326248

    No, Colorado has Greeley. That makes you the worst state in the union.

    Washington is best, since it has the highest minimum wage, houses the wealthiest companies in the nation, rich trade, good culture, and is one of the leading agricultural states.
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)01:56 No.1326438
    ITT: Amerika- FUCK YA!


    Amerika- FUCK NO!

    Now what? I think it's time for a MOTHERFUCKEN MONTOGE!
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)01:58 No.1326447

    Sir, I suggest you consult a dictionary.
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)01:59 No.1326451
    Sirs, I'd suggest you consult a SAGE.
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)02:08 No.1326502

    Meh, it's 2 in the morning, and I felt like throwing in some sillyness into a thred that was taking itself way to siruisly. Anyway, you got the point.
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)03:05 No.1326730
    One thing which really sucks about america; No public health care. And spare me the bullshit about how having safety nets makes people less motivated- If you won't give medical treatment to someone who's hurt or dying, just because they can't afford it, then your as barbaric as the Saudi's in my eyes

    In D&D terms; they have to be payed before they use lay on hands
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)03:11 No.1326745

    They won't deny you treatment unless you've gone to that practice before and haven't paid them. ERs also can't deny you treatment. But they'll give you treatments that're shittier if there's not some kind of program you qualify for and even still it'll probably rape your credit since a visit to the ER is like $600 even if they don't really do shit for you.
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)03:13 No.1326751
    Actually, if you go into any hospital in america there is a sign next to the emergency entrance tht says it's against the law to refuse treatment to a patient with a lethal injury or ailment for any reason. So no, they don't let you die if you don't have insurance or enough money on you. Do some research next time so you don't look like such a moron.
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)03:40 No.1326829

    Its funny... despite having this debate many times with many american friends and relatives, none have used this argument before. so, either its not universal, their all stupid, or your lying. i wonder which of these options is the correct one...
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)03:53 No.1326864
    Chaotic Good Werebear Barbarian/Rogue
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)03:57 No.1326871
    On the topic of Neutrality, I submit Switzerland.
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)03:57 No.1326872

    Officially Lawful Good (really Chaotic Neutral with a dash of EVIL) Half Elven Weresheep

    STR 10 (not many Icldrs, but still the strongest man in the wrld many times)
    DEX 15
    CON 99 (The Icelandic Coast Guard defeated the Royal Navy through RAMMING... THREE TIMES)
    WIZ 5 (Went to war with the UK.. THREE TIMES)
    INT 19 (Managed to buy Denmark 60 years after gaining independence from Denmark)
    CHA 20 (sooo beautiful... until it opens the mouth of demand +50 and self-righteousness +99.. no wonder even the EU is scared)
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)04:14 No.1326918
    >>1326829 their all stupid

    Well I think we know the correct one for relatives at least.
    >> Anonymous 03/13/08(Thu)04:15 No.1326923
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    >lawful barbarian

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