So, the story begins kind of normal, just some working for an evil guy with oddjobs. These didn't go too well, since the custom-kid apparently was just "remembering" what spells he had on his spell list which he conveniently had lost (or simply not written down), which pretty much translated to every situation being solved by a one or two spells.

He's giggling his nuts off the entire time.

There was even a moment in which another player was going to try something, but he cast hold person on him just so he could do it, stating that there's no reason for the other character to do it. I thought this was way too far, and was going to say something, but the DM just pushed past it. I knew he wanted the night to go smoothly, and I didn't want to ruin his first DMing in years, so I didn't press it.

We get into combat, and since there's six people we finish the fight without any real damage taken (mostly thanks to the two with 25+ str, and Mr. Gigglenuts).

That's when I noticed something. Gigglenuts had a max HP just over 40, and an AC of 12.

So, here I was, an evil barbarian, with an irritating little man made out of glass within arm's reach. Despite my best efforts, I entertained many the violent thought in my head. That's when I realized I was using metagame peeves to fuel those thoughts, and that even if my barbarian was filled with rage, I'd need a pretty good reason to actually hit the guy.

So, we continue on, and then we get to what seems like the last battle, with a guy who's using human corpses to power a death beam weapon (don't ask me). After the battle (which went by in a blur), we all seem to be ready to call it a night, when Gigglenuts asks if the weapon is still operational.

A hundred thoughts ran into my mind, and I dismissed them until the DM said "Yes." Holy fuck, they're thinking we're going to continue this! Gigglenuts starts describing an elaborate plan, and I'm looking at the other players with pleas for someone to restore sanity, and then one, one stupid fucker, one stupid, stupid fucker who played a goddamn werebear, starts to join in the discussion with Gigglenuts, and the DM starts beaming.

I sat there, and only half listened as those three started to get excited, and then two of the other players also joined in on the plan making, and it began to seem like they were getting very attached to their character's future prospects. While they did this, I debated in my head, weighing every action and it's consequences. Could I hope that they were simply talking "what if"'s or "that would be nice"'s, not actual future plans?

That's when Gigglenuts said the key words. "I can't wait until next time."

For a moment it seemed like someone was going to challenge him, and the DM even began to open his mouth. But the DM had a smile on his face.

This was the moment.

I am not actually a hero. My greatest adventure was going camping in high school, and my biggest kill was something I left as a road waffle on a highway. So, you're going to have to forgive me. I had a moment of weakness. My mental defenses caved in. I snapped. I COULDN'T TAKE THE CHANCE THAT HE'D AGREE.

And that's when I opened my mouth.

I must have looked like a fool. It was too silent for too long. They were all surprised, for sure, but the silence continued for far longer than simple shock could explain for. The DM even looked for a moment as if I was making a joke, and was about to ask me if I was serious. He didn't ask though. I'm pretty sure the expression on my face told everyone exactly how serious I was. As the silence was getting unbearable, I repeated myself.

"I rage, and full attack Gigglenuts".

Everyone knew who I was referring to, and turned to him. For a moment, he seem indignant, but that slowly changed into a look of confusion, and finally, dread. "Wh-what?"

"What's your armor class?"
"Wait. What are you-"
"What's your armor class?"
"Why do you have to be a dick-"
"TELL ME YOUR GODDAMN ARMOR CLASS."

That's when the DM tried to step in. "Why are you doing this?"

I said before. I'm nowhere near one of the heroes who walk the realms of fiction and fantasy. I'm telling this story more out of shame and the need of katharsis than anything else. The next words out of my mouth probably weren't even words.

I didn't give a reason. Looking back, I don't think I even had one. I just wanted to hurt him. To punish him for breaking my pointless, ephemeral laws of justice and order. I wasn't playing my character, I wasn't doing it for fun, I was just lashing out like a wild animal that was pent up in a tiny cage. If there was a reason, it would be that if I didn't kill his character, I might have ended up killing him.

I doubt I really said a single statement that made sense. I then just declared my power attack. I rolled my attacks. I rolled my damage. Even if only one attack landed, he'd be well beyond -10hp at his current health, and I had more than a +12 to my attack.

After I finished my last roll in silence, we all turned to look at the DM. Looking at it now, this was the moment I felt most guilty. This was the kind of spot I hated whenever I DM'd, where the DM is forced to choose between two players. Even worse, it was in a matter of character death, with all sorts of additional pressures beyond just that. He couldn't consult the rule book for answers, he received silence from everyone at the table, and as he stood alone, deciding whether or not to accept the attacks, we simply waited.

Gigglenuts was trying to make a move. Trying to say something. But nothing. He likewise simply stood in silence, staring at the other players or at my dice, never looking directly at me.

Finally, the DM closed his eyes. After a few seconds, he opened them, turned to me, and said, "Rocks fall. Everyone dies. Are you happy now?"

Fuck.

Fuck.

Goddamn.

>>1460482

You're wrong. You are a hero. Killing that game improved the hobby.

You did the right thing, frankly.

>>1460482
Look on the bright side, at least you got the "Rocks fall, everyone dies" treatment for a good (and very just) cause.

You did the right thing, son.

Maybe you shouldn't play a barbarian?

>>1460482
It had to be done.

Too bad what could've been a decent campaign went to shit due to that guy.

That abortion needed to die.

Gigglenuts decided to fuck the rules, so you executed his character.

I would have liked to play in this game, if only because I have one evil character that I like to trot out again when I feel like being a genocidal dick. He's a CE serial killer/assassin swordsage. And he would have had a good reason to kill the fuckwit party members endorsing wiping out a countryside: professional ethics. Granted, most people wouldn't appreciate the difference; but he knows. And it's not like other people have feelings, anyway.

Best reason to have given: "I'm evil. Duh."

>>1460482

I agree... asshats like gigglenuts deserve punishment. Bravo, sir, bravo.

And on that note, I hope you share this thread with said DM. :D

Soooo... what exactly did you find wrong about coming up with an elaborate plan to make the most out of the death beam weapon? It was an EVIL-aligned campaign, after all, and plans for world domination like that are to be expected.

>>1460606

"You can't enslave the civilizations of the countryside if they're all dead."

>>1460606
>A hundred thoughts ran into my mind, and I dismissed them until the DM said "Yes." Holy fuck, they're thinking we're going to continue this!

>>1460606

Because he would have had to keep playing with gigglenuts and his fag character.

You taught that DM a very valuable lesson:

"They fuck with you, you fuck with them."

He may have also figured out on his own how to say "no" from there on.

I've not dropped the hammer on guys like that before, and I always regret it. The times it turns PvP are usually campaign enders, I tell myself. If these guys never learn the consequences, they don't change. You did good.

>That's when I noticed something. Gigglenuts had a max HP just over 40, and an AC of 12.

This is where having some menial-mage imbue your character with the Contingent-Spell Sphere of Ultimate Destruction (centered upon your character, set to blow when you reach -10hp), walk next to gigglenuts, pull out some Soverign Glue (which you should always have for just such an emergency), pour it on your hand, grab his head, announce you are committing suicide, & enjoy the resulting character-death... I highly-doubt that a mage could out-grapple a barbarian, so you are golden there, nor do I think they would carry-around universal-solvent just in case you tried this, NOR do I believe they can make a reflex-save while stuck to your corpse (DC -30 IIRC)... It is so much more fun than simply killing them... a little costlier, sure, but WAY more satisfying...

>>1462447
>NOR do I believe they can make a reflex-save while stuck to your corpse (DC -30 IIRC).

How do you know this? And furthermore what book is it in?

>>1462447
No, that's stupid. Hitting things with an axe is MUCH more satisfying.

>>1462453
It's in the 'DM's Book of Reasonable-Penalties'... Otherwise known as 'there wasn't a guideline for this so something-reasonable was imposed'... If you have to ask why you take a -30 to a Ref save when you are glued to a corpse you need to consider another hobby...

>>1462464
That may be true for you, but knowing his character cannot be resurrected by any means short of a Wish or Miracle is rather-gratifying... This is the reason I have that spell added to my evil characters ASAP...

lol

>>1462541
-30 is way too much, especially since there's no reflex penalty for carrying too much. -30 means that an amazing rogue would have no chance of dodging a pebble lightly tossed at him, while every other day he's dodging point blank fireballs and walking away unscathed.

A -4 would be considered reasonable, but since the blast is coming from the corpse itself, I'd raise it to -8. That's equal to the bonus a rogue receives from his class at level 12.

This thread makes me feel good.

Why didn't you just say something?

I mean all the HURRR I'M NO HERO didn't stop you from assfucking the game, so why didn't you just tell chucklefuck to knock it off, or the DM to do something about it?

Also, no good reason to attack him? He cast Hold Person on a party member, which is an agressive spell. Especially in a party of evil motherfuckers, this would be MORE than enough reason to cut his head off right then and there.

In the end I agree you did the right thing. You just did it in a very stupid way.

>>1463172
Thats exactly why you don't do penalties on that shit, you just make a really high DC.

He's not being penalized for being glued to a corpse.

The DC is just high because he's glued to the fucking bomb.

Learn to DM better.

Chaotic, Barbarian, Rage, and a character death.

Good roleplaying anyway

>>1463220
You have to take things in steps. I agree that it's better to increase the DC as opposed to giving a penalty to the save, but in the end it's all the same. So, first, we have the explosion, which is one already large DC. Than, we have the guy actually glued to the bomb. Being glued to the bomb is probably one of the biggest ways (if not the biggest) to make dodging it difficult, to the point in which it's already past impossible for any person, but you always have to keep in mind the idea that these are adventurers.

Saves don't go up as quickly as skill checks, especially when you have a low one according to class, and thus the modifiers mean different things. A 23 skill DC means that a lv.1 commoner human has a chance to make it, but a 23 save DC means it's impossible. A 25 skill DC is still possible for a lv.1 commoner, but a 25 save DC is something even adventurers dread. A 30 skill DC is something truly amazing, to the point in which it's describing climbing a slippery ceiling without footholds, but a 30 save DC is higher than the save DCs for a Balor's spell like abilities. Even a pit fiend's meteor swarm is only a DC 27.

Adding a +8 is more than generous, especially once you consider that is being added on to an already high DC. Adding a +30 is simply too much.

>>1463217
He pretty much just acted like a dick.

>>1460482
Brutal and cruel, but there is a simple in game justification.
You're a barbarian. All the glory has been stolen by a scrawny punk, with magic. And they are going to do more, with magic. Steal Glory with Magic.
Magic.
RAAAAAAAAAGGGGGEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!