I concur

YOU CAN NEVER STOP THE ADVANCING OF MY TILLANID, KAI.

Zealous Writefag reporting!

I wanna be the very best
like GW never was
To paint them is my real test
To field them is my cause

I will travel across the land
searching far and wide
Each army list to understand
the power that's inside

FAULTY KAI! its you and me
I know its my destiny,
FAULTY KAI! Oh you're my best friend
in a world we must defend
FAULTY KAI! a heart so true
Our courage will pull us through,

You teach me and I'll teach you,
FAULTY KAI! gotta buy'em all

Every battle allong the way
with courage I will face.
I will minmax every day
to claim my rightful place.
Come with me,
the time is right,
there's no better team.
Arm in arm we'll win the fight!
It's always been our dream!

i would lol at this.

>>1493766
IT'S TIME TO B-B-B-B-BATTLE!!!!!

I WANT TO BE THE VERY BEST

LIKE NO EMPIRE EVER WAS

TO KILL THEM IS MY REAL TEST

TO RE-EDUCATE THEM IS MY CAUSE

I WILL TRAVLE ACROSS THE STARS

SEARCHING FAR AND WIDE

THESE GUE'LA TO UNDERSTAND

THE WARP PRESENCE THAT'S INSIIIIIDDDEEE

GREATER GOOD, IT'S YOU AND ME
I KNOW IT'S OUR DESTINY
GREATER GOOD
OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH YOUR MY BEST FRIEND
IN A PATH WE MUST DEFEND
GREATER GOOD
SHOW THEM WHAT'S TRUE

OUR SHAS'LA WILL PULL US THROUGH
YOU SERVE ME AND ILL RULE YOU
GREAT
ER
GOOD

GATTA RULE 'EM ALL

GREATERGOOD

I was still a newfag when this was made. Always thought there should be more. I'm game.

>>1493752
Ok lets push the landslide rolling then.
1st question: Do we still use the old Wallhammer army names
-Elfdar
-Dark elfdar
-etc.
IF SO, we must name all of them.
>-Spess Merens
OR
Do we just use the real names, killing some of the lulz?

I vote old names, but fixed and remixed.

>>1493785
Old names, plus the new ones added I guess.

>>1493785

Slight weeabooization of the names, emphasis on the fictional Britaboo phenomenon with jokes on that in game-world as well as out of it (like "letters to the editor" or fansubs from Britainese). Animated figures of heroes like Abaddon, Calgar, Gorgutz etc.

>>1493785
-Elder
-Blackelder
-Spess Mereens
-Kaos Spess Mereens
-Tytantids
-To'w
-Necromatons
-Sisterhood of War
-Daemonslayers
-Hagslayers
-Ousiderslayers
-Forces of the Empire <FoE>
-Greenhides

>>1493785

Old names.

Nothing sounds goofier than Ultramariners holding the line against encroaching elfdar (hidden in trees).

Tillanids made me laugh. Did we ever put anything down for Tau?

>>1493804
I quite liked this list
>>1493801
exept change hagslayers and Outsiderslayers to something else.

>>1493804
Not really. One of kai's friends/rivals is a richbitch who plays them though, IIRC.

spess samurai

Eldar = Elfdar
Dark Eldar = Black Elfdar
Space Marines = Space Soldiers
IG = Kingdom Guard
Sisters of Battle = Aunts/Moms/Grannys/Daughters of Fight
Chaos Space Marines = Grazy Space Warriors
Necrons = Negrons
Orkz = Xorkz
Tau = Toe
Tyranids =>>Tillanids sounded good enough.

It is the year 2040. The world has been sweeped by a new global fad unlike ever before.
After Games Workshop hit near bankrupcy and sold itself to a Japanese company, Genki Labourstore, the two formed into the new Japanobritish company Games Labourstore.
With the pre-established systems of games from GW, and the new and shiny anime covers by Genki, the new super-popular system was formed.
Now the whole world is taken over by this new Britaboo fad, spearheaded by
-WALLHAMMER-

(intro continued)

>>1493808

No, old names are the best, why would you think otherwise

Elfdar and Ultramariners FTW!

>>1493822

>Sisters of Battle = Aunts/Moms/Grannys/Daughters of Fight

It's "Onee-samas of Fight" you wankerbaka!

>>1493834

I think Battle Nuns will do fine

>>1493822
Toe and Negrons sound too silly. I did like Kingdom Guard though.

Also, Faulty Kai has to be assisted by the ghost of a Space Marine that resides in one of his minis.

Fol ovel a hundled certulies, the Empelol has sat immobile on the Golden Thlone of Ealth.

>>1493827
With new techonology cutting production costs, this game is now available to all, unlike before. Thusly it has attracted uncoutable players.
Including a young boy named Kai.
Kai: Ohaiooo Shopkeeper-sama, smashing day today, ne?
Old Shopkeeper: A fine morning to you too, Kai. What'll it be today?
Kai: Anoo... Ah! One more pimple-pack of Space Mariners, of course!
*kai zooms off*
Shopkeeper: Oh that boy... such enthusiasm. He could be a true master one day... *sips tea*

=THEME MUZIK=
So you wanna be a master
FAULTY KAI
Do you have the guts to
DO OR DIE?

I wanna be the very best
Like no other general
To paint them is my real test
To play them is my cause!

i shall travel across the lands
gaming far and wide
teach myself to understand
what each list has inside

FAULTY KAI
Gonna beat them all!
It's you and me
I know this is my destiny
FAULTY KAI
Oh there is no Good End
in a world we must defend!
FAULTY KAI

IT'S TIME TO B-B-B-BATTLE!

>>1493838
To'w and Necromatons.

>>1493834
NO U
>>1493838
Honestly I didn't find anything good enough for Tau and Necrons, so I just threw them in air. Results were Negrons and Toe.

I think that ghost idea would be great. But replace the marine with comissar who tries to execute Kai with his ghostbolter all the time. Bullets go through him, of course.

>>1493867
Comissars use Las pistols

>>1493867

Negroes?

Eldar = Elfdar (established)
Dark Eldar = Black Elfdar (also established)
Space Marines = Space Soldiers / Space mariners?
IG = Kingdom Guard
Sisters of Battle = Battle Nuns / Sisterhood of War
Chaos Space Marines = kaos Space Warriors / Mariners
Necrons = Necromatons
Orkz = Xorkz / Örx
Tau = T'aw / To'w
Tyranids = Tyrantids / Tillanids

>>1493873
Replace bolter with laspistol.
Profit.

>>1493827
>>1493855
and it took what, 15 minutes, for the epic win to begin?

>>1493883
what the hell is wrong with Necromatons?

>>1493889
Nothing. I think thats fine name.

>>1493889

Boht pose a grave threat to all sentient life?

>>1493888
This is Epic-mode /tg/.
We get shit done right off the bat.

>>1493855
I heard this sung to Montage by Trey Parker.

>>1493884
>kaos Space Warriors / Mariners

__________ Space Mariners
^Invent something lulzworthy in here.

>>1493867

"Kommisar-san, I...don't know how I can beat him!"

"FOOLISH CHILD! DOUBT IS FOR THE DYING!" *pew pew*

>>1493913
Bad Space Mariners?

Too keep in touch with the weaboo part.

Necrons = Dedons

>>1493923
I lol'd IRL.

My thoughts:
-all (important) battle moments should be shown with huge spirit-beings fighting, like the Yugioh manga/anime, Fist of the North Star, etc. perhaps with the rolling dice in the foreground, the duge (and probably uber detail) "spiritmonster" form of the miniature charging in the background (and the miniatures just sitting there on the table)

Does this explenation make any sence? Or should I draw what I'm thinking?

>>1493913
Kaos / Darkness / Black / Dark / demon / whatever is japanese for demon. Oni or something.

Why don't we make ALL the names 50/50 japanese/english?
-<space in japanese>Marine(r)s
-<demon in japanese>marine(r)s
-Sisters of <battle in japanese>
-<Kingdom in japanese> guard
etc.

>>1493933
Makes perfect sense. Also, they should yell all their moves. Goes without saying, really.

"Act...Of...FAITH!!!!!"

>>1493923
YES. This is what I meant!
>>1493924
Maybe Oni Space Mariners. (Oni being japanese word for demon.) And everytime Oni is said, it's translation is at the side of the page.

Lots of dramatic CLOSEUPS that show only the face or the eyes as they yell out "LONG IMPACT" and "BROOMING MOVEMENT".

>>1493946
>>1493948
OH HI

>>1493956
SWEEEEPIIINNGGGG
ADVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCE!
*WTFBLAMMO*

Call the CSM "Dark Space Mariners"

Simple.

Oh, and make the Tyranids "Desponids"

>>1493946
Ok someone has to blow their cover and prove they know Japanese so we can do this.

Onimarines is one
now
-space
-battle
-kingdom/empire
-tyrant
-dead/robot
-witch
-alien
-hunter
-camel gun
-green skin

Space Mariners of the Shadow.

The ghost-commissar should constantly remind him of the teachings of Undying King of Humans.

Eldar = Elfdar (established)
Dark Eldar = Black Elfdar (also established)
Space Marines = Space mariners?
IG = Peace Enforcement Force
Sisters of Battle = Nuns of War
Chaos Space Marines = Evil Mariners
Necrons = Necromatons
Orkz = Orkz (I think they were like this in one of the comics)
Tau = Blaus
Tyranids = Space Bugs


>>1493933
Just make it a version of Pokemon. That is, when Kai calls out his attack, the "camera" descends down and onto the minis, who are suddenly moving, roaring and charging at each other. WITH ACTION LINES! And in split panels, you see the dice rolling, Kai calling out the attacks, Calgar charging as he roars, etc... kind of like we´ve been doing so far.

>>1493956
ILL FIRE MY PLASMAR GUN!
*roll 1*
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! COMMANDER KAWAIINEKO!!!
*Hueg explosion* *miniatyre melts*

"I believe in the souls of these miniatures! With all of our effort, my Ultramariners will overcome your foul Tillanids, Mystery Battler! SWEEPING ADVAAAAAAAAAAANCE!"

"Gh! A sweeping advance?! I didn't know you were that good! But...you're not good enough!"

"?!"

"My Kalnifeks are prepared for a barrage! Witness the power of the Kalnifeks, Kai Katsudon!"

>>1493975
Ok someone dig up a japanese translation engine. I want to ATLEAST TRY this.

>>1493977
>The ghost-commissar should constantly remind him of the teachings of Undying King of Humans.

Fuck no. The Commissar should be another player who punishes his minis and his dice for failing him. He does so in horrible, gut-wrenching ways like burning their faces off, or tearing their limbs apart. It is as much a punishment for the mini, as it is a punishment for Kai.

"Kommissar, don´t...! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Why are you doing that to your miniatures!?"

"They failed me, Kai. And I do not tolerate failure..."

"Our miniatures are our comrades! Our friends! How can you do this to them!? I WILL DEFEAT YOU, KOMMISSAR! CALGAAAAAAAAAAAR, DOUBLE FISTING ATTACK!"

>>1494002
DABORO CARGAL FISTOOOO!!!!
*WHAM*

>>1493975

Space is Uchuu

Battle is...well, war is either Taisen or Sensou, I'm not 100% on how you'd say battle.

Kingdom/Empire is Teikoku (roughly)(as in Humanity-Teikoku)

Ou is king, dunno about tyrant (Name-ou)

S'all I can do off the top of my head.

>>1493975
Japanese skillz reporting!

kuuhaku-space
kaisen-battle
enpaia-kingdom/empire
boukun-tyrant
deddo/jinzouningen-dead/robot
majo-witch
takokujin, eirian- alien
karyuudo-hunter
kyameru hou-camel gun
midori sukin-green skin

Does this mean we'll have to make...weaboo orks? This sounds so unnatural.

>>1494017

Wouldn't Gaijin work better for alien? It literally means 'outside people', after all.

>>1494022
Nope, theyre called Xorkz.

Oh fuck, I just thought of something.

The Tau should be the Sakura Warriors, or something that sounds weeaboo enough like that. Although now I think about it, we are supposed to be doing this Britaboo, not weeaboo, so...

...

Well, I don´t know about the Tau, but the Noise Marines are now bagpipers. I don´t know... Darkpipers? And their player is a punk?

>>1494024
Anything works as long it sounds good enough.

>>1494014
>>1494017
STAND BACK, I'M GOING TO ATTEMPT SCIENCE!
Oni-Kuuhaku Marines / Onimarines
Uchuu/Kuuhaku marines
Sisterhood of Kaisen / Oniichan no Kaisen!
Teikoku-guard
Boukunids
Necrjinzouningen
witchkaryuudo
alienkaryuudo
Daemonkaryuudo
kyameru hou (thats tau)
midorisukin (and orkz)

>>1494002
This is gold. GOOOOLD

>>1494022

The Orks would sound and act like stereotypical gang members/junior Yakuza/delinquents from anime. With Kansai dialect as Orkish.

>>1494032

The Chaos players Kai normally meets should all play Undivided.

The Elite Four will actually be one specific Chaos Army each, and each player acts according to type. Khorne-player is a violent psycopath, Slaanesh-player users her body to try and distract Kai to win.

Not sure about Tzeentch and Nurgle though.

The final person to beat after the Elite Four is his rival, who has found the most powerful miniature of all. The stand-in for the Emperor of Mankind (SUTAAA CHAIRUDO!).

>>1494039
I think that's a little TOO much weaboo.

>>1494039
YOU BROKE SCIENCE.
NOW THE WHOLE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO DIE

>>1494039
>kyameru hou (thats tau)
>midorisukin (and orkz)
Sounds rather... bad. =/

>>1494039
Please, remember that Wallhammer Faulty Kai is not supposed to be weeaboo, but BRITABOO. This means having the Japanese style and ideals (BELIEVE IN INANIMATED OBJECTS), with the British quirks and names.

Calling the units Japanese names defeats the whole purpose behind this. Also, it makes them sound totally weeaboo, whereas we only want weeaboo in the... "spirit" of the story, not the aesthetic of the minis and the games.

>>1494048
You mean the Kami-King of Humans, right?

>>1494048
Tzeentch would be that guy who looks really normal. He wears glasses and doesn't talk much. He seems really calm and emotionless. But then someone else will describe him as being some sort of chess prodigy who also plays Wallhammer.
"He can plan out moves 300 moves in advance. He's greater then any supercomputer could be!"

>>1494039
Yeah, the previous names were better.
Those who don't understand japanese have hard time with those japaneseish names.

>>1494059

I like.

>>1494058

I also like. Much better than mine.

>>1494048
The Rival has to play Guard. Kai, Kai, silly, faulty, Kai... It's not the power of a single miniature that matters.. IT IS THE CHEESE IN THE LIST!
*deepstriking melta/demo units*
The Rival is a horrible rulelawyer and a cheeselord.
Kai is semicasual and wins due to good dice rolls and bad opponents.

>>1494059
Nurgle would fat slimy guy who farts all the time and calls himself "Papa Nurgle".

He wants to hug everyone and he whispers to everyone: "Papa Nurgle loves you. *BURP*"

I think the gods names should change too.
Khorne- Kohn
Tzeentch-Zeench
Nurgle-Nugly
Slaanesh-Sexy

>>1493978

IG should definately be something engrishy like the aformentioned "Peace Enforcement Force". Very Gundam/Macross-ey

The Nurgle player should be a neckbeard.

Self-insertion anyone?

All the tournaments and battles are echoes of actual battles fought in the 41st millennium. Kai and his friends has to win or MANKIND IS DOOMED

>>1494076
KINGDOM GUARD ALL THE WAY!

>>1494066
What if instead of his Rival, the last guy is the ONLY Wallhammerer who has a GOOD Undivided army.
Kai: Kaos United? HAH! Easy pickings!
Rival: No Kai! Hes better than you think!
Champion: Behold: SATAN THE RUINER! BATTLELORD OF KAOS UNITED!

>>1494070
Gah, you beat me to it.

>>1494082 Satan the Ruiner
You are doing all the Special Characters now. I'm not even touching them. god damnit I lol'd.

>>1494066
>The Rival is a horrible rulelawyer and a cheeselord.
>Kai is semicasual and wins due to good dice rolls and bad opponents.

Not only that. Kai´s rival used to enjoy the game the way Kai played it, but as more and more people got into it, she started losing despite the heart she put into it. Eventually, she started min-maxing, and then became a ruthless cheeselister, destroying her enemies using everything in her repertoire. Mind games, cheese lists, grey areas...

And not only that. Kai´s rival is also HIS OWN SISTER.

Kai will eventually have to face the same dilemma as she did. When his heart and his willpower are not enough to win, what will he do?

"Kai, I, who have been defeated by you, can finally lay my miniatures to rest... but you, who keep winning, will have to continue playing!"

>>1494078
Perfect! Little to eveyone's knowledge save Kai, the models are ties to another dimension. When one makes a new model, that character is born in the other dimension, and any fight that takes place actually happens in the other dimension. Kai knows this as he had a traumatic past that transported him there somehow temporarily.

What, nobody remembers 'Inferior Guard?'

HIS ENTIRE INFERIOR GUARDS FORCE, REDUCED TO ONLY ONE BANEBRAID?!?!

>>1494078

That's why Kai has to eventually win over Mystery Battler. Unknown to Kai, Mystery Battler is actually his father (or other, cliched relation), corrupted by the power of the Tillanid, intent on robbing select humans of their biomass to turn himself into a Genesrobber so that he can (re)create the tyranid race.

>>1494063
Oh, and he also has to gradually lose his cool as he begins to lose. By the end he's ranting about how he planned every move out to perfection, but Kai still beat him.

Then Kai tells him that he did take every variable into account except one...the bond between the player and his minis!

>>1494082
Karne the god of war
Nargel the god of death
Xeenz the god of magic
Slenas the god of hentai
Kaos United

Now even MORE dumbed down for all our Britaboo folks!

>>1494082
Oh no! Kai had already lost his Dread-Mech to the Chaos United force! How will he find victory?!

>>1494094

Not only Kai knows that, every Champion does. The hero unit of each Champion is a famous hero (or great villain) in the future and their battles all happen as they are played. Kai has Calgar. His rival has Abaddon. There must be someone that plays Eldrad. Some of the champions have actually sold their soul to the Chaos gods and are plotting to damn mankind. It's GRIMU AND DARKU like Yugioh.

>>1494104
Satan the Ruiner is the most epic badguy in Wallhammer. GL fixed the fluff so that now he is to REALLY be feared.

BEHOLD THE CLAW OF OSIRIS AND THE ONIBLADE "DRAK-NYOR~N"!

>>1494108
And then, out comes a muscular figure with his model
'Fight Boss Gasskull, Prophet of the Xorkz'
And the battle for 'End of the World' world has begun.

>>1494117
What about Horus? Maybe he was used by an evil vice-president who tried to take over Games Labourstore and turn all mini-users into his slaves

>Nyoron~
Fuck i loled.

>>1494108
Rival has no special characters, as they are pointsinks and crap.
Elite Four has Kharn, Ahriman, Lucius and Typhus
Grand Master Wallhammer Champion has Abaddon (Satan the Ruiner :P)

TWEEST: Just before the final match a mysterious 10-foot man in a poorly-fitting greatcoat delivers kai the rulesheet and models for 5 custodes to fight Abaddon with. It is "The Kingdom of Humanity's last hope"

>>1494139

It's The Emperor. Who is also Kai's dad.

>>1493873
I'd rather see a bolt pistol, as they would be tons more intimidating.

>>1494118
The to distract him while Kai fights the real enemy, comes a girl who always fights Kai but secretly has a crush on him and does battle on 'End of the World' world with Officer Yarhik.
Let next to ultimate battle begin!

>>1494104
Kai: "No! Without my Dread-Mech, the Kaos Mariners can attack my Bossquarters directly!"
Rival: "That's right, Kai! I allowed you to use your Brooming Movement to attack that squad of Kaos Exterminators! Now watch as Carnage the Backstabber destroys your precious Calgar!"
*rolls dice*
Kai: "Please, Eternal Kami-King! Let Calgar live!"

>>1494132
When Genki Laboursotre and Games Workshop united, the presidents of both played for leadership.

Genki-san had Horus, GW champion had the Emperor.
Minor GW victory.

>>1494093
i gagged. in a fun kind of way.

>>1494147
And the battle had mentally scarred the GW President, making him stay within his office, while the Genki President plotted his inevitable revenge on the trash who beated him.

One of Kai's friends should use Caiphas Cain.

>>1494145

Calgar: Don't fear Kai. Even if I die on this battlefield today, you are already skilled enough to defeat the toughest opponents. You believed in me. Now keep believing in yourself... For the Kami-King." *dies*

Kai: *tears streaming down* "For the Kami-King! It's time! My final move..."

>>1494145
So, the Elite Champino has ALL the chaos Special Characters?
Wat?

Unless...
TWEEST: The last game of Faulty Kai
Kai VS Quad-Elite Champon
3000 points
APOCALYPSE.
Kai: Calgar + 5 Custodes
Champion: Satan, Carnage, Salmonella, Angra and Lucien (and Fabion Vile?)

>>1494171
SHIT JUST GOT EPIC.

>>1494171
QUICKLY! INVENT NAMES FOR THE CUSTODES TOO!

>>1494168
And with his single tear (manyly ttear cause he's a guy and it's only one), he activates a special rule that only happens when his Land Raiding vehicle is wet. His Land Raiding Vehicle plows through the enemy and runs over the Kaos Lord Satan!!!
Kai wins!!! But at what cost?

>>1494168
>Calgar: "Don't fear Kai. Even if I die on this battlefield today, you are already skilled enough to defeat the toughest opponents. You believed in me. Do not believe in me anymore, believe in yourself, who believed in me!"

Fixed.

>>1494167
>>1494171
Definately need Apocolypse Battles.

And he definately needs a friend with Commisar Cain. He only shows up once or twice, but we all agrees he's a much cooler character than Kai.

>>1494181
Someone dig up the names of the 5 dead custodes!
THEY MUST EXIST!

>>1494181
Uhh...Light, Justice, Truth, and some other stuff? I dunno, I think it'll be names that are part of good virtues.

Pib, Pob, Zib, Zob and Roy?

Emperor save me, I love this board.

>>1494189

If we were to do that, we need to fix a scene where we have Kai doubting himself, during the early battles, and Calgar shouting at him, "Kai, don't believe in yourself, believe in me who believe in you, child!"

*Cue lensflare over Calgar model*

>>1494190
He seems to be really crappy...until he finally acquires his Jurgen mini and becomes awesome. Later on he fulfills his destiny by holding off an evil murderer who plans to kill Kai so he can't make it to the last game. He does it by betting his life on the outcome.

WHO WILL WIN D:

The Xork player should be like team rocket. Loud-mouth comic relief, always gets defeated, but always comes back for anuvver go!

>>1494213

The murderer would be a sadistic Black Elfdar player that actually is a serial killer the police can't catch.

>>1494190
Should we have more than 1 Apoc battle? I like the idea of it going like this:

[4th elite defeated]
Kai: So, just 1 more game to go! YESS!
*rival arrives*
Rival: kai... the last battle... You should know what I didn't...
Kai: Yeah i head 3000 points, Thats big but i'll manage
Rival: it's... Apocalypse rules...
Kai: What rules?
*rival hands rulebook*
Rival: The battle is tomorrow at dawn. Enjoy your study night. Oh and the battle has no force organisation charts.
Kai: WHAT!!??
Rival: The amount of cheese one can do with those rules... I stood NO chance... *traumatised*
*at night, kai studying*
Kai: Bawww so many new ruleeesss and my army can't win against no-hold-barred cheese...
*knock knock*
Emperor: have these. They will save the Kindom of Humanity tomorrow *hands 5 Custode minis (much better paint and sculpting than Kai's) and datasheet*

>>1494233

FIVE ORKS PER SECOND

>>1494213
To add a bit of comedy, Cain trips, and the enemy over shoots, hitting a gieant tree cover, causing it to fall on him. Cain rolls to saftey and is victorious. He is too weak to join Kai's fight. 'Give them heck Kai' he says, holding his left arm, even though there is nothing wqrong with it and walks down a long corridor with light at the end.

>>1494228
Brilliant.

>>1494190
>>1494213

Nawh. If we have a kid playing who´s an evil Commissar that destroys the minis that fail him, we should have a good Commissar who praises those minis that have served him well, and cheers the others on to victory.

At the start, this good Commissar is not too confident, and prefers to fight very defensively. Because of this, he tends to lose. However, Kai or some other player gives him a special mini. The player says it´s a very special mini, a "lucky charm". The good commissar thinks he is not going to win, and doesn´t like the mini because it is atrociously painted and somewhat disfigured, but then he manages to win by betting everything on that mini, despite it being just a regular Peace Enforcement Force soldier. From that point on, the good commissar player´s confidence restored, he becomes a force to be reckoned on the tabletop!

Anyone think we'll need a drawfag to make some of this?

>>1494233
The Ultimate Champion has to wear a toned-down Abaddon suit. Like a black navy officer outfit, with chaos stars on the epaulettes and front. He has a monocle, a tallon of Horus (like Kai has a Fist of Ultramar) and a huge-ass scar that goes across his face. He got it converting Satan the Ruiner.

>>1494237
Uhhh...hello? The murderer would obviously try to kill him through a game of Wallhammer. Because that is how everything is settled in this story. He has traps on the boards and whenever someone loses a mini, he gets to stab them or break a finger or something. If they try to leave then he just shoots them.

The game must be played...TO THE END *scary evil grin*

>>1494245
Atleast one. And if only one, that needs to be a dedicated one.
This is Gen2 WHFK. No more Copypasta.

>>1494246

And no arms?

>>1494243
Wait wait...I got an idea. We can use both of those together. The Black Elfdar serial killer and the good commissar.

Oh, and the evil commissar's final battle should be against the Caiphas Cain commissar. To show him the TURUE MEANING OF HONOR AND GRORY

>>1494246 huge-ass scar he got converting a mini
FUCK YES YOU ARE THE BEST FINAL BOSS EVER.

>>1494246
In the End, kai barely wins, and the building collapses from the awsomeness of the battle. Kai emerges, weakened terribly. And So does ultimate champion, who demands a rematch
"No Ultimate Champion, you have failed me."
And in a blur, a fast bject comes and snatches Ultimate Champion's Entire Army. On a roof top looking down is: The Pesident of Genki Labourstore! And in his hand are all of Ultimate Champion's minis!

>>1494257
Guess why he has the Tallon there. He probably converted his own arm off.
But Satan the Ruiner has to be the most epic mini in the series. It has to LOOK like it could kill people.

>>1494222
"Oi, Kai! Reddy fer anuvver battle, ya baka?"
"Warboss Xorkafungus-san! You again? You know you can't defeat my Dread-mech!"
"Yes I can, wif my new Kamikaze Gitz! Bwahaha!"

>>1494268
"Very good Kai. You are now Ultimate Champion. But compared to me you are still nothing!" says the President and jumps down challenging him to battle. Kai is completley blown away from the combined forces of kaos, and the President's mystery models, models that Kai had never seen before. As Kai lays sprawled on the ground, the President sarts laughing and monolouging about how strength and numbersare all that you need to win and stuff.

>>1494270
Holy shit, the ultimate rival was so obsessed with power that he made the ultimate mini. THE GIANT MINIATURE OF SATAN THE RUINER. It's the size of a full-grown man and to give it ultimate destructive power, the rival CUT OFF HIS OWN ARMS AND STUCK THEM ONTO THE GIANT MINI!

>>1494268
NO! GENKI-SAN! I CAN STILL WIN! I CAN STILL *BLAM*
Genki: No, YOU ARE THE FAILURE. Kai, you are the new Champion of Games Labourstore. Take this army. It is the most minmaxed powergamer army the rules can make! With my army and your dice rolls, WE COULD CLAIM ALL THE WORLD!
Kai: ...no thank ^^. I prefer casual gaming with my friends *walks off whistling*

>>1494292
I thoguth the Rival played a huge cheese-force of IG and the Elite Four Champion had Satan?

>>1494294
follow up with
>>1494291

>>1494294
super hilarious grimdark clishe end go!

>>1494261
>Oh, and the evil commissar's final battle should be against the Caiphas Cain commissar. To show him the TURUE MEANING OF HONOR AND GRORY

"Crain!"
"Gont!"

*The two stare at each other, and then put their hands on the table. Crain´s minis are a lot of rookie infantry, with a few tanks. The Georgen miniature stands proudly, holding his regiment´s banner. Gont´s miniatures are a small elite infantry force, with knives on their mouths and eye-patches, looking fierce like fuck.*

"Crain... I did not expect such an indisciplined player like you to come! And you come fight me with your rabble! Why don´t you just let me give the Kami-King´s mercy to your miniatures?"

*Crain straightens up, and raises a fist in defiance.*

"My rabble will defeat you! What they lack in training, they make up with effort and guts!"
"PAH! What is a PEF soldier? A MISERABLE PILE OF POOR STATS! But I will prove to you that my harsh methods yield better results than your weak, soft-handed disciplinary court! HAVE AT YOU!"

>>1494184
No, no. More like this:

Kai: Calgar-sama...
Rival: Now do you see? It's useless to resist! My Kaos Mariners are far more powerful than your pitiful Ultramariners!
Kai: I'll never give up! Calgar-sama taught me that you can only win when you trust in your men!
Rival: Fool! The only thing that matters is that they earn their points back! With your Bossquarters gone, you'll never win this game!
Kai: My Ultramariners don't need a Bossquarters! Each one knows the true path to victory is in courage! SHOOTAN PHASE!
*Kai rolls all sixes*
Rival: IMPOSSIBLE! My Kaos Exterminators!
Kai: And did you forget? My own Fighting Exterminators are going to use this turn to Instant Transmission to the battlefield!
*Kai deploys the Fighting Exterminators*
Rival: What? Around my Bossquarters?! That's suicide!
Kai: Not if my men have COURAGE! ATTACK PHASE!
*Kai, again, rolls all sixes*
Rival: My Superior Oni is not so weak as to fall to that! It has an Invincible save!
Kai: No! My attacks won't effect it if you roll above a three!
*Rival rolls a die, dramatic close up... a 2!*
Rival: NOOOOOOOOO! Without the Superior Oni, my Kaos Mariners can never secure victory!
Kai: That's right! You thought my Ultramariners would be useless without their Bossquarters! I knew that meant your Kaos Mariners would fall if I did the same to you.
Rival: I... I lost. *looks up* Forgive me, Anubis. I thought I could... *falls over*
Kai: *gasp* No! The Terrible Powers have struck him down for losing!

>>1494308
Kai then blacks out, the only word he can see before losing conciousness is: Genki...

>>1494303
And the Rival was Kai´s sister, disillusioned with the confidence and courage method which did not yield her good enough results. Kai´s sister is the opposite of him, and is the harsh reality in Kai´s life, a constant remained of what might happen to Kai...

>>1494319
Shouldn't that be 'Damninators'?

>>1494319 anubis
i thought it was Osiris?

>>1494314
Gaunt just shouldn't be in it. We already have a better heroic commissar. We need an actual evil Commissar. Are there any major named ones? Sobile is in Armour of Contempt, but he isn't really a major character.

>>1494303
Oh yeah, right. Okay then just make it the Elite 4 Champion.

>>1494337
this is Gen2, we are re-inventing it.

>>1494338
I thought Osiris was used by the Japanese CEO to try to take over Games Workshop by force. The GW CEO used the Emperor, but was so injured in that epic battle that both companies were weakened and had to merge to survive.

>>1494340
Yarrik is harsh but epic
then we have Gaunt, Holt...

JUST USE SHAFFER. Hes a motherfucker who kicks people in the face for looking at him funny.

>>1494351
Genki used Horus agains the GW president, as back then the system was still Warhammer and had all the old fluff and people.

After a few years of alliance, the fluff got rewritten, with only odd tidbits remaining. (10th Edition 40k?)

Wait, Gaunt is a good guy who actually cares about his minis...he could be the mentor/grandfather of the Caiphas Cain player who taught him to always take care of his minis.

As the guy who originally barfed up Wallhammer during the Move and Shoot hilarity, as well as the one who makes most of the crappy photoshop comics I'm both delighted and horrified by this thread's attention.

Please be gentle with my baby.

>>1494351
Horus: mini used by Genki years ago in the GW VS GL match.
Osiris: Battlelord of Kaos United

Satan the Ruiner: General of the Elite Four Champion's army.

>>1494340
What about Simion or whatever, in the new Cain book? He was arrested for attempting to execute an entire company personally for cowardice, and now lives as a psychotic junkie kept alive by constant streams of various drugs being injected into him. By varying the levels, he can fly into a berserk rage.

Fuck, it's gotta be Simion. Disgraced ex-commissar takes rage out on models.

>>1494340
No, see, that's why Gaunt is perfect for the evil-Commissar role. He used to be a good and noble player, but when Laborstore took over GW, they closed down his local gaming store, and now he can only play by wandering around to other stores. The minis he uses have been discontinued, he's slowly losing them, being ground down from a 3000-point army to a mere 1000. He is twisted by pain, loss, and a thirst for revenge.

Ciphran Crain VS Chaffer! Effort and guts VS discipline and punishment! THE COMMANDERS´ PHILOSOPHIES!

>>1494374
As the conspirator behind several recent projects (Eclipsion, Frollo, This), I promice to see to it that this project shall follow the path set by you, but in a Gen2 fashion. If you would wish to join us, there is always place for more

We are Grea/tg/uys. /tg/ gets shit done.

>>1494392
How about this: He's not a bad guy, but he has become embittered by this new generation of players who treat their minis badly, and the Games Labourstore corporation that seems to encourage them. Later on Caiphas is able to inspire him enough to return to the game in time to train him for the big match against evil Commissar Schaffer.

>>1494397
Chaffer's Final Hopes.

160+ replies in 2 hours.
/tg/ is going to get this shit done!

>>1494392
We could have Chaffer as the commissar who picks up the minis left in the bins by other players that hate them for performing badly, and gives them a last chance to redeem themselves. He´s an old, grizzled player of Wallhammer who deep in, can´t take seeing PEF miniatures thrown in the garbage by the rookie players who do not take their time to play and understand them.

He sheds manly tears when he sees players throw their miniatures in the trash. We would see a flashback of him picking up a PEF box from the trash bin, and crying a single tear.


Gont would be the guy with a small elite PEF force that´s so hung on his miniatures being super-elite bastards, that he executes them when they fail, failing to understand that the PEF army is the one that requires FAITH AND GUTS most out of all the Wallhammer range.

Crain learns from this man in an intensive training course which he must complete before returning to the gaming scene. When he does, he defeats Gont after a hard fight. But then, when Gont finally understands that his harsh punishments did not have the results he expected, he falls into a great depression. Crain takes pity on him, and cheers him on to find a new philosophy to command his troops.


In the final Apocalypse game in the series, with Kai and his friends facing the evil Kaos players in the ultimate battle, Gont appears with his elite troops to support Crain´s! Crain´s guts and confidence, together with Gont´s elite troops, win their side of the great battle!

>>1494433
As soon somebody actually starts writing or drawing...

Thread is archived

>>1494448
No wait, Schaffer is the bad guy. We need at least one multi-episode battle with an irredeemably bad Commissar.

Gont: "I lived in Tannoko when Games Laborstore decided to create their new line of game stores. Their first step was to close all of the old Local Game Stores, including the one in my beloved Tannoko. And they never opened up a new store! Tannoko was dead, not considered valuable enough by GL to reinforce."
Kai: "That's terrible!"
Gont: "Yes. I had to drive to other cities to play Wallhammer. It would be hours of driving, but I thought I could handle it. But then... then... they stopped making the Ranger Pattern infantry miniatures! My army could never grow again! That was when I swore revenge on Games Laborstore."
Kai: "How can you get revenge like this?!"
Gont: "If I defeat you, I can advance my tournament ranking! If I get to the top, then I may challenge even the Emperor of Games Laborstore! I'll do anything to get there, even killing my own men."

>>1494404
Well, I did a lot of stuff in my head that I can share. Stuff I never really ended up putting down in picture form because I had trouble finding the right elements to photoshop.

See, it might sound crazy but the whole Kai versus Ko Ma thing went to a very silly place in my head. Sure, while fighting to win the grandest of tournaments is cool and all, I wanted Kai to battle his nemesis over something absolutely crazy.

The Crown Jewels.

Not just because they're a set-piece for conflict and evil deeds in British media, but because inside the crown's padding is a page left out of a bookdex (no one knowns which) and inside the head of the sceptre is a mould. To whomever breaks open (and destroys) these important pieces of Britain would gain access to the Ultimate Wallhammer Piece. Some think it's an ork, others the Tau, some claim it's the Emperor-King himself.

So Ko Ma, from the beginning of the series right up to its climax creates a force to assist him in this endeavour (nonsensically). SHUTEYE. For some reason this involves either recruiting or removing powerful Wallhammer players, which leads to the eventual crippling of the kindly Games Labourstore employee/mentor to Kai, Don Pantsu.

So, character sumup
-"faulty" Kai: Ash lookalike, with powerfist and comissar hat. Casual Wallhammer player. Ultramariners
-Rival-tan: Kai's cheese-hoarding sister. Powergaming Kingdom-Guard
-Comissar Chip Craine: Low-budget Guard player, using many ragatag models.
-Comissar Gont: Embitterd old model player. Guard
-Coloner Chaffer and his Final Hopes: IG powergamer. Punishes his miniatures for failure
-The Elite Four: four players powergaming one aspect of Kaos. In order Khorne-Nurgle-Slaanesh-Tzeentch
-Champion: Apocalypse Powergamer, Kaos United Dark Phalanx, led by Satan the Ruiner
-Kai's father: The Emperor/President of Games Workshop/Labourstore. Plays Custodes.
-Mr. Genki: President of old Genki Labourstore. Dark Phalanx led by Osiris

>>1494465

How about Commissar Beige? From Ciaphas Cain´s books, in The Traitor´s Hand, I think it was. He was an Emperor´s botherer, super-faithful and crap, and wanted to have Ciaphas court-martialed because he thought Cain was not being upfront with his courage and luck.

Hell, we don´t even need to change his name. We could say that he´s so gone in the head, that he will do ANYTHING to achieve victory on the tabletop, including executing his own miniatures to make sure the other ones perform as expected.

>>1494477
Glorious

>>1494485
Sounds good. Keep Chip Crane around as comic-relief guy who needs to believe in himself. (And his special super-rare Jurgen piece)

>>1494465
He should, when he loses the match, execute his dice.

>>1494504
Bingo. As long as we keep the actual torturing of the minis whenever they miss or lose a save or something. It'll be a LAFF RIOT

>>1494485
I love how well these people fit together.'

Should the series get some kind of Team Rocket / Rubberrobo gang?

>>1494485
>-Rival-tan: Kai's cheese-hoarding sister. Powergaming Kingdom-Guard

Kingdom-Guard still sounds pretty bad. I think Peace Enforcement Force sounds better (that is, more ridiculous).

>-Coloner Chaffer and his Final Hopes: IG powergamer. Punishes his miniatures for failure

Leave that to Beige, and keep Chaffer as the old, grizzled Wallhammer veteran who plays out of love for the minis, giving them one last chance to redeed themselves from their failures. Those who do, he keeps playing with, or stores in a small cabin on his backyard. From there, he could give Kai or Crane a mini that proved itself incredibly good if one believed in it.

Perhaps he was the one who gave Georgen to Crane?

I still think Inferior Guards sounds better.

>>1494516
*rolls a 4 for the save of a guardman*
Kai: Well, too bad for him but-
*Beige pulls out a gun and shoots the mini to bits*
Kai: WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT!?!?!
Beige: I made an EXAMPLE. SUCH IS THE FATE OF FAILURES.

>>1494534
DA ORK BOYZ!

Also, I have to say I'm concerned by the complete lack of Mai-chan in this thread. She's not merely a continual lesbian joke, she's the figure of the player that gets stiffed with their army for a long time but sticks with it because she believes that in due time their true potential will be realized. Inevitably (and conveniently) it would and at a critical juncture to boot, stepping out of the shadow as merely one of Kai's entourage and as a Wallhammer player in her own right, encouraged the whole while by Kai.

>>1494544

Agreed.

>>1494534
They try to steal incredibly good army lists and great conversions?

>>1494547
Awesome. At some point, Kai must actually start weeping at Beige's terrible treatment of his minis.
>>1494541
Yeeees...it's all falling into place

>>1494554

And as the Orks, no less.

Thread definitely needs more Mai.

>>1494554
I agree

>>1494559
The Fa/tg/uyz. Their armes are Counts As forces made out of Looted Konversions. There are no orks ofc, only GREEN SQUATS.
All gang members have monocles and neckbeards.

*sigh* Every motherfucking week... C'mon guys, electrocute yourselves with your butt plugs and rid us of your fail.

>>1494547
A gun is too much. Give him a small welder. He burns the miniatures when they fail him, and as they melt, they make hissing noises. The camera goes black, and centers on Kai´s expression. As he grows horrified, as you see the terror in his eyes, the hissing noises start sounding more and more like screaming...


>>1494554
Agreed. Mai-chan should totally get more fleshing-out.

>>1494571
Excuse me while I go make a Space marine army out of Squat Diggas.

>>1494554
But Orkz got attention. Maybe Black Elfdar?

>>1494585
a gun has more JESUS CHRIST THAT SCARED ME -value. He can hide it in his coat untill the first failed save and then shoot in the blink of an eye.

>>1494562
Yes. Mai-chan is an ork player and I will knife anyone who disagrees with this.

>>1494591
I'm going to knife you.

>>1494578
No original content.
Only stat-me threads and army lists. Over and over.

>>1494596
Personally, I like the small welder. It's more ridiculous

>>1494596
But Beige doesn´t care about scaring Kai. He only cares about victory. He just happens to be a sadistic bastard who thinks being sadistic is a desirable trait.

Thus, the welder. Why go for shock value in a split-second, when you can go for shock-value in a drawn-out scene of horror and inhumanity?

>>1494604
shootign holes in the gaming table isn't silly enough?

>>1494607
What about a hammer?
All proper animus need a easy-to-hide giant hammer.

>>1494623
Exactly, that's just comic-relief stuff. For this to be funny, you need to play it deadly serious. That's why you use the welder. It can be done longer without people getting used to it, like the gun would.

>>1494623
No, the welder has much more potential. The melting model set against his livid face, leaning right up close to it so you can see the throbbing vein on his forehead would be perfect.

Voting for Welder. Gun would be awesome, but seeing him slap on a welder's mask and crank up the torch would be too rich.

>>1494632
What if he annihilates each model in a different way?
He needs huge preptime and checklists just to know how to break each mini incase it fails.

KINGDOM GUARD IS BRITABOO ENOUGH!!!

Kingdom Guard rings the right bells in my ear. I hope it stays.

Go with the slow melt, it makes for better imagery.


Now. This is everything I came up with for Mai-chan.
She comes in pretty early, a young girl trying to find her way in the Wallhammer world at much the same time Kai steps into the Games Labourstore and picks his army. Like Kai, her army selections are looked down on because neither the Ultramariners or the orks she uses are considered capable enough to win. While Kai has an almost naive confidence that pushes him through, Mai-chan does not and struggles but never wavers from her love of the random fun loving orks. The whole time though, Kai is helping her and picks her for a big 2v2 tournament, even though he could have gone with her brother instead.

Her brother is a Blood Raven player named Nero, whose army's set-piece is a pair of Librarians that combine their powers to perform cross-cutter attacks upon their enemies whilst protected by rapidly-deployed mariners. He's a sort of friendly rival to Kai, though more because he thinks Kai has his eye on Mai-chan.

It's kind of embarrassing to admit I came up with so much for this when I never planned to really use all of it. Also because it is so very, very dorky.

>>1494623
That would depend.

Basically, Beige would have different punishments for different units, depending on how big their failures.

The welder is for really big failures, and for infantry units. If a squad of PEF soldiers run away, costing him the objective, he melts the sergeant with the welder. If a tank fails to destroy an enemy unit firing its main battle cannon, he heats up a steel pin with his welder, and drives him into the tank commander´s face.

The hammer could be used to smash the miniatures´ limbs.

In any case, the punishmed would have to be announced with cruel, sardonic jokes.

"PEF officer-san, you have failed to shoot Kai´s Rad Speeder down! Since you don´t seem to appreciate the gift of arms, I SHALL TAKE THEM AWAY!"

Then, he takes his hammer and smashes the arms, breaking them in various parts.

>>1494647
If by dorky you mean perfect.

It is pretty dorky though.

>>1494655
this is /tg/ of 4chan.
how can we be more dorky?
>inb4 /co/ /fit/ /fa/ and /b/

>>1494681
What about one of those creepy guys who are really big fans of Disneyworld and always try to keep up-to-date with it and wear clothes with "badass" Disney characters on them?

>>1494685
I rephrase my point: We are freaking awesome.
now back to WHFK

>>1494655
And it can only get dorkier from here!

Kai himself. Kai Katsudon is just the young boy starting out in choosing his first hobby. No fancy father high atop in Games Labourstore or anything like that, just a kid with a never explained huge disposable income that lets him play. He's dedicated, he's friendly and he's competitive. At the end of the game he's likely to offer condolences to his beaten foe and some advice, before hooking up with his friends to celebrate elsewhere or look to his next opponent.

His army's set-piece is Calgar because Calgar in Wallhammer represents the indomitable spirit that overcomes all that is thrown at it. Never backing down, always moving forwards in spite of the odds. He's as much Kai as Kai is him, and as such Kai's faith in not merely his own ability but of that of his models empowers his victories all the more.

He rarely gets angry, and if he does it is more out of passion than anything, and he leaves it all on the table no matter what happens.

Oh, by the way. We have three Commissar characters, and I´ve been thinking on how to differentiate them physically.

Crane would be a shota commissar. He would wear a black cloak that´s too big for him, and a Commissar cap (he might have started together with Kai, and Kai would have bought him a small cap because Crain idolizes Kai).

Beige would be a fat kid with a huge, red sash that makes him even fatter. He takes his torture tools from his cloak, or from his sash.

Gont would be a muscled guy, whose commissar cloak wouldn´t cover his arms (which are huge... huge... HUGE!).


Seeing Crain face Gont, Crain being so small and Gont being so muscled, would be epic.

>>1494688
Does Kai get help from the spirit of Calgar? I don't think we ever conclusively decided for or against it.

>>1494692
Gont should meet Crane and think that he's too much of a weakling to train under him. But then he sees how much potential he has with his Jyurugen mini strategy and decides to help him reach his FULL MIGHTY POTENTIAL

>>1494688
He's a little dense though. Seeing the world in a way that's not entirely accurate. Not understanding that his friends are not merely his friends because they like him, but because he radiates spirit that encourages everyone around him. He doesn't quite understand Mai's fondness for him or Nero's suggestions that Kai has less than honourable intentions for her. He doesn't understand why someone like Ko Ma would go out of their way to hurt his mentor, though in a way that moment changes his world a little. It's this world-view that allows him to accept that Wallhammer is more than the sum of its parts, more than just the power lists or the super-units, more than ruthless strategy. He faces conflict when people tell him to eschew his optimistic style to try to mirror Ko Ma's move and shoot stratagem, a powerful but dangerous tactic that comes from being cold and ruthless in mind and action. A clinical breakdown of Wallhammer to an essence that would be pure were it not so fouled.

In the end, he masters the move and shoot strategem to finally defeat Ko Ma, but not in the way anyone expects. He remembers every foe, every friend, everything that got him to that point. He does not merely move and shoot. Wallhammer moves and shoots with his heart.

>>1494702
In the end Calgar is still really just a model on the field, instead of being an assistant he's the symbol of Kai's spirit and will. As Kai delivers the final blow, he does so with Calgar. As Kai feels threatened it's as Calgar is as well. The rest of his army is not neglected, but Calgar is the set piece and the barometer for how Kai is feeling during the fight or how well he's doing.

>>1494702
>Gont should meet Crane and think that he's too much of a weakling to train under him. But then he sees how much potential he has with his Jyurugen mini strategy and decides to help him reach his FULL MIGHTY POTENTIAL

The idea was having Chaffer be the one to train Crain/Crane. He would pull off the classic "Intensive Training From Hell!", and then, at the end of that story arc, give him Georgen from the shed in his backyard where he stores all those minis that are "war veterans".

(Chaffer could be a real war veteran, and see in the minis what he sees in himself. Thus why he decides to save miniatures from being tossed into the trash bin after failing on the tabletop. Because Chaffer believes on the heart that the miniatures have, he thinks they could not bear to be abandoned by their owners like a soldier abandoned by his comrades. Because of this, he gives the miniatures he picks up a chance to show what they are capable of, then give them a place of respect within his shed, together with many other minis that went through something similar.)

>>1494706

So who is the final opponent then?
Ko Ma, Champion or Genki?

>>1494727
That works too.

I'd also like to propose that Beije/Beige should look like Maxwell from Hellsing.

>>1494702
To bring Crane a little more in line with Cain, make him a terrible strategist, but an excellent tactician. He finds himself in the worst fixes, but manages to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Not quite 'Just as planned' level. His faithful Jurgen Mini always plays a pivotal role, so he trusts it implicitly.

>>1494732
Ko Ma. Hands down it should be Ko Ma. The man who can win games in his sleep forced to stay wide awake for his final battle with Kai. The Crown Jewels and the mystery miniature on the line.

>>1493977
>The ghost-commissar should constantly remind him of the teachings of Undying King of Humans.

I hope this made it in.

>>1494732
the three, in that order. Or Ko Ma -> Elite 4 -> Champ -> Genki.
Ko Ma could try to block Kai out of the Elite Challenge.

also did i understand it right that GL minis are shit cheap (people throw them away, melt them, etc)? And people like Chaffer remember the days when 15 bucks got you ONE mini, not an army, and as such values each one.

>>1494739
>>1494752
It's all good.

>>1494752
Yes. The new production methods GW got from japan made them able to drop model costs to a fraction of the old ones, and the new animu cover image made them sell like virtual sex. Converting is a nigh-forgotten art of the masters and the codices cost more than the armies.

>>1493752
29 posts and we need a new thread.
just warning.

I always hated that they just abruptly ended this arc after this issue. Things kept going afterwards as if it never even happened.

Hell, they even left it completely out of the compilation books. Which peeved me. The entire premise had so much promise as far as expounding upon Kai's relationship with Calgar.

Also, I've heard that there is an uncensored version out on the internet, though I've never seen it. Do any of you fa/tg/uys have it?

>>1494803
Excuse me where did this come from? I though only like 8 pages of Faulty Kai exist?

>>1494803
Is...is that Schaffer?

>>1494752

I like that order.

Ko Ma's table blocks the way to the Elite 4. He's set up terrain that is totally advantageous to him, but hinders Kai's army in various ways. In the end, Kai masters the Move and Shoot stratagem and emerges victorious, leaving Ko Ma in shocked silence.

More prepared than ever, Kai advances to the Elite Four.

Speaking of, I wonder if the first of the Elite Four shouldn't be an easy win for Kai. Like, all part of Tzeentch's plan to lure Kai into a false sense of security. So the first battle is a cakewalk.

The second battle starts off with the other player in poor deployment, before suddenly deep-striking a ton of whatever units right into Kai's ranks with unerring accuracy (weighted dice, even!), forcing Kai into a battle he really has to struggle to win.

And then the fights just get harder from there.

>>1494807

It's from an issue of Faulty Kai. It was released in the original run, but immediately afterward the comic behaved as if the events in it had never happened.

>>1494807
I´d swear this is a new, old bean...

>>1494808
Nawh. Schaeffer is heavily scarred and smokes a huge cigar. Besides, he wears an officer cap.

Suggestion: One of the fights needs to be against a typical whiny fucking neckbeard. He's a fat slob who is rude and uses cheeseball tactics.

Granted, never read FAULTYKAI, but it seems vaguely amusing.

>>1494809
Khorne: Carnage the Backstabber + Berzergangers + Exterminator bombs + Fleshhungerer

Nurgle: Plague, herald of Nargel + Deadguard + Dread Mechs

Slaanesh: Lucien the Forever-existing + Rockmariners (she plays dirty, i.e. topless)

Tzeetch: Angra the Exiled + bikers of Zenx (or how was the new spelling?) + exterminator/daemon bomb out the ass.

Played in order Nurgle - Khorne - Slaanesh - Tzeetch

>>1494827
The Elite Four Nurgle player is a huge Neckbeard, as is the new Team Rocket (who play any army, counts as, all models are digga squats with looted gear)

>>1494840
Tzeetch is EVIL. Fuck you bad experiences against 2+ Inv save bikes that keep dropping terminators on me...

>>1494559

You mean LOOTIN'!

>>1494849 digga squat lootas
Team Fa/tg/uy STRIKES AGAIN!

And he has to act all calm and collected until he loses and breaks down. Oh, and he has to do that thing where someone pushes their glasses up on their nose and they're in shadow and the glasses are just two white points of light.

JUST AS KOHAKU

For all the WIN here, I see absolutely NO drawfags.
What gives?

>>1494867
Who? Fatguys or Elite Nurgle?

>>1494877
Tzeentch of course. "HE HAS THE ABILITY OF 300 SUPERCOMPUTERS"

>>1494873
Wait till we get the whole thing down(and in an easier to digest version).

If you write it, they will come...

Hay /tg/

This is the miserable faggot who told you all he'd do a Faulty Kai manga in the style of the originals, little over a week or so ago.

I'd have to admit that I failed miserably, and would like to warn any would-be authors of the next Faulty Kai NOT to underestimate how fucking hard and incredibly time-consuming it is to make something half-decent out of copypasta.

I wish you the best of luck.

>>1494918
This is one of the reasons Faulty Kai Gen2 will (hepfuly) be done all by hand and with minimal copypasta.

We can only hope.

>>1495037
Oh, ok. Haven't read the entire thread.

Well, in that case I'm completely useless, since I have the drawing skills of a quadriplegic rhesus monkey.

>>1494909
Right.
Ok lets tie it up here and I'll grab my tea and start a new thread for summaries and writefaggotry. Everyone OK with this plan?

>>1495052
Is it just me or would Hand-drawn characters playing with copypasta'd warhammers be the best way?

>>1495058

I support this.

>>1495058
Sounds good, but they'll have to be subtle if they do any of the Mai and Miso gag. We don't want them banned for promotions.

>>1495058
Right, we're gonna need some 360 degree photos then so that poses don't become SUPA RIMITEDU.
Also the attack mode units must be hand drawn.

>>1495063
I think it'd be pretty funny. Go with it.
>>1495054
Sure. I archived this thread already.

Wait, what are Mr. Genki's minis?

>>1495106
I think they should be the superpowered forbidden minis of tiny humans whose name begins with 'S'

New thread here
>>1495125

>>1495106
Mr. Genki plays Dark Phalanx (Black Legion) and his general is Osiris (Horus). In Wallhammer, Dark Phalanx is the most MAD SKILLS cheese army you can get, but only like 2 people (elite 4 champ and Genki) know how to play it well. All the other Kaos United armies Kai faces are easy peasy.

>>1493847
Empe-LOL, you say?