Posting mode: Reply
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 3072 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • このサイトについて - 翻訳

  • Are you a talented programmer local to New York, NY – Palo Alto, CA – or Richmond, VA?
    If so, feel free to e-mail a resumé to moot@4chan.org along with a list of reasons why you don't suck.
    Hell, if you work in advertising/marketing/PR/etc. or something like that, shoot me an e-mail as well.
    Note: This is just a feeler. Don't expect a response, seriously. Also if you stink at programming, only know Java, or are remotely new to it ("HURR I'M IN CS101!"), please don't waste my time. Oh, and please don't attempt any sort of humor at all. Thanks!

    File :1207665338.png-(476 KB, 420x672, Wallhammer3.png)
    476 KB Faulty Kai: Resurrections Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:35 No.1493752  
    /tg/. The past weeks have shown our boards power of reaching epic victory in amounts never before thought possible.
    Our duty as Grea/tg/uys is to uphold this new banner of epic lifted by the people behind Eclipsion, Angry marine Codex, Inquisitor Frollo and several other projects.

    And what project better to grant a new beginning than our good old Wallhammer Faulty Kai? A lick of paint, some spacle, our writefags doing a coherent, full story and our drawfags giving it a new look, Faulty Kai could indeed be the next great thing on /tg/, and probably not the only one.

    Grea/tg/uys! What say ye?
    Wallhammer Fauly Kai: Second Generation! Y/N?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:37 No.1493757
    I concur
    >> King in Yellow 04/08/08(Tue)10:38 No.1493761
         File :1207665494.jpg-(64 KB, 547x648, 1186685419450.jpg)
    64 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:38 No.1493763
    Zealous Writefag reporting!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:39 No.1493766
    I wanna be the very best
    like GW never was
    To paint them is my real test
    To field them is my cause

    I will travel across the land
    searching far and wide
    Each army list to understand
    the power that's inside

    FAULTY KAI! its you and me
    I know its my destiny,
    FAULTY KAI! Oh you're my best friend
    in a world we must defend
    FAULTY KAI! a heart so true
    Our courage will pull us through,

    You teach me and I'll teach you,
    FAULTY KAI! gotta buy'em all

    Every battle allong the way
    with courage I will face.
    I will minmax every day
    to claim my rightful place.
    Come with me,
    the time is right,
    there's no better team.
    Arm in arm we'll win the fight!
    It's always been our dream!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:39 No.1493768
    i would lol at this.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:40 No.1493773
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:40 No.1493774











    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:41 No.1493778
    I was still a newfag when this was made. Always thought there should be more. I'm game.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:43 No.1493785
    Ok lets push the landslide rolling then.
    1st question: Do we still use the old Wallhammer army names
    -Dark elfdar
    IF SO, we must name all of them.
    >-Spess Merens
    Do we just use the real names, killing some of the lulz?

    I vote old names, but fixed and remixed.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:46 No.1493795
    Old names, plus the new ones added I guess.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:47 No.1493797

    Slight weeabooization of the names, emphasis on the fictional Britaboo phenomenon with jokes on that in game-world as well as out of it (like "letters to the editor" or fansubs from Britainese). Animated figures of heroes like Abaddon, Calgar, Gorgutz etc.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:47 No.1493801
    -Spess Mereens
    -Kaos Spess Mereens
    -Sisterhood of War
    -Forces of the Empire <FoE>
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:48 No.1493804

    Old names.

    Nothing sounds goofier than Ultramariners holding the line against encroaching elfdar (hidden in trees).

    Tillanids made me laugh. Did we ever put anything down for Tau?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:50 No.1493808
    I quite liked this list
    exept change hagslayers and Outsiderslayers to something else.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:51 No.1493811
    Not really. One of kai's friends/rivals is a richbitch who plays them though, IIRC.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:52 No.1493821
    spess samurai
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:53 No.1493822
    Eldar = Elfdar
    Dark Eldar = Black Elfdar
    Space Marines = Space Soldiers
    IG = Kingdom Guard
    Sisters of Battle = Aunts/Moms/Grannys/Daughters of Fight
    Chaos Space Marines = Grazy Space Warriors
    Necrons = Negrons
    Orkz = Xorkz
    Tau = Toe
    Tyranids =>>Tillanids sounded good enough.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:54 No.1493827
    It is the year 2040. The world has been sweeped by a new global fad unlike ever before.
    After Games Workshop hit near bankrupcy and sold itself to a Japanese company, Genki Labourstore, the two formed into the new Japanobritish company Games Labourstore.
    With the pre-established systems of games from GW, and the new and shiny anime covers by Genki, the new super-popular system was formed.
    Now the whole world is taken over by this new Britaboo fad, spearheaded by

    (intro continued)
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:56 No.1493831

    No, old names are the best, why would you think otherwise

    Elfdar and Ultramariners FTW!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:56 No.1493834

    >Sisters of Battle = Aunts/Moms/Grannys/Daughters of Fight

    It's "Onee-samas of Fight" you wankerbaka!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:57 No.1493837

    I think Battle Nuns will do fine
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:57 No.1493838
    Toe and Negrons sound too silly. I did like Kingdom Guard though.

    Also, Faulty Kai has to be assisted by the ghost of a Space Marine that resides in one of his minis.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)10:59 No.1493847
    Fol ovel a hundled certulies, the Empelol has sat immobile on the Golden Thlone of Ealth.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:01 No.1493855
    With new techonology cutting production costs, this game is now available to all, unlike before. Thusly it has attracted uncoutable players.
    Including a young boy named Kai.
    Kai: Ohaiooo Shopkeeper-sama, smashing day today, ne?
    Old Shopkeeper: A fine morning to you too, Kai. What'll it be today?
    Kai: Anoo... Ah! One more pimple-pack of Space Mariners, of course!
    *kai zooms off*
    Shopkeeper: Oh that boy... such enthusiasm. He could be a true master one day... *sips tea*

    So you wanna be a master
    Do you have the guts to
    DO OR DIE?

    I wanna be the very best
    Like no other general
    To paint them is my real test
    To play them is my cause!

    i shall travel across the lands
    gaming far and wide
    teach myself to understand
    what each list has inside

    Gonna beat them all!
    It's you and me
    I know this is my destiny
    Oh there is no Good End
    in a world we must defend!

    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:02 No.1493858
    To'w and Necromatons.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:03 No.1493867
    NO U
    Honestly I didn't find anything good enough for Tau and Necrons, so I just threw them in air. Results were Negrons and Toe.

    I think that ghost idea would be great. But replace the marine with comissar who tries to execute Kai with his ghostbolter all the time. Bullets go through him, of course.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:04 No.1493873
    Comissars use Las pistols
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:05 No.1493883

    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:05 No.1493884
    Eldar = Elfdar (established)
    Dark Eldar = Black Elfdar (also established)
    Space Marines = Space Soldiers / Space mariners?
    IG = Kingdom Guard
    Sisters of Battle = Battle Nuns / Sisterhood of War
    Chaos Space Marines = kaos Space Warriors / Mariners
    Necrons = Necromatons
    Orkz = Xorkz / Örx
    Tau = T'aw / To'w
    Tyranids = Tyrantids / Tillanids
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:06 No.1493886
    Replace bolter with laspistol.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:06 No.1493888
    and it took what, 15 minutes, for the epic win to begin?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:07 No.1493889
    what the hell is wrong with Necromatons?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:08 No.1493894
    Nothing. I think thats fine name.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:09 No.1493900

    Boht pose a grave threat to all sentient life?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:09 No.1493903
    This is Epic-mode /tg/.
    We get shit done right off the bat.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:10 No.1493911
    I heard this sung to Montage by Trey Parker.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:11 No.1493913
    >kaos Space Warriors / Mariners

    __________ Space Mariners
    ^Invent something lulzworthy in here.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:12 No.1493923

    "Kommisar-san, I...don't know how I can beat him!"

    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:12 No.1493924
    Bad Space Mariners?

    Too keep in touch with the weaboo part.
    >> King in Yellow 04/08/08(Tue)11:13 No.1493925
    Necrons = Dedons
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:14 No.1493931
    I lol'd IRL.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:14 No.1493933
    My thoughts:
    -all (important) battle moments should be shown with huge spirit-beings fighting, like the Yugioh manga/anime, Fist of the North Star, etc. perhaps with the rolling dice in the foreground, the duge (and probably uber detail) "spiritmonster" form of the miniature charging in the background (and the miniatures just sitting there on the table)

    Does this explenation make any sence? Or should I draw what I'm thinking?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:17 No.1493946
    Kaos / Darkness / Black / Dark / demon / whatever is japanese for demon. Oni or something.

    Why don't we make ALL the names 50/50 japanese/english?
    -<space in japanese>Marine(r)s
    -<demon in japanese>marine(r)s
    -Sisters of <battle in japanese>
    -<Kingdom in japanese> guard
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:17 No.1493947
    Makes perfect sense. Also, they should yell all their moves. Goes without saying, really.

    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:17 No.1493948
    YES. This is what I meant!
    Maybe Oni Space Mariners. (Oni being japanese word for demon.) And everytime Oni is said, it's translation is at the side of the page.
    >> King in Yellow 04/08/08(Tue)11:18 No.1493956
    Lots of dramatic CLOSEUPS that show only the face or the eyes as they yell out "LONG IMPACT" and "BROOMING MOVEMENT".
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:19 No.1493958
    OH HI
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:19 No.1493962
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:21 No.1493969
    Call the CSM "Dark Space Mariners"


    Oh, and make the Tyranids "Desponids"
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:22 No.1493975
    Ok someone has to blow their cover and prove they know Japanese so we can do this.

    Onimarines is one
    -camel gun
    -green skin
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:22 No.1493976
    Space Mariners of the Shadow.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:22 No.1493977
    The ghost-commissar should constantly remind him of the teachings of Undying King of Humans.
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)11:22 No.1493978
    Eldar = Elfdar (established)
    Dark Eldar = Black Elfdar (also established)
    Space Marines = Space mariners?
    IG = Peace Enforcement Force
    Sisters of Battle = Nuns of War
    Chaos Space Marines = Evil Mariners
    Necrons = Necromatons
    Orkz = Orkz (I think they were like this in one of the comics)
    Tau = Blaus
    Tyranids = Space Bugs

    Just make it a version of Pokemon. That is, when Kai calls out his attack, the "camera" descends down and onto the minis, who are suddenly moving, roaring and charging at each other. WITH ACTION LINES! And in split panels, you see the dice rolling, Kai calling out the attacks, Calgar charging as he roars, etc... kind of like we´ve been doing so far.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:22 No.1493979
    *roll 1*
    *Hueg explosion* *miniatyre melts*
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:24 No.1493990
    "I believe in the souls of these miniatures! With all of our effort, my Ultramariners will overcome your foul Tillanids, Mystery Battler! SWEEPING ADVAAAAAAAAAAANCE!"

    "Gh! A sweeping advance?! I didn't know you were that good! But...you're not good enough!"


    "My Kalnifeks are prepared for a barrage! Witness the power of the Kalnifeks, Kai Katsudon!"
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:26 No.1494001
    Ok someone dig up a japanese translation engine. I want to ATLEAST TRY this.
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)11:26 No.1494002
    >The ghost-commissar should constantly remind him of the teachings of Undying King of Humans.

    Fuck no. The Commissar should be another player who punishes his minis and his dice for failing him. He does so in horrible, gut-wrenching ways like burning their faces off, or tearing their limbs apart. It is as much a punishment for the mini, as it is a punishment for Kai.

    "Kommissar, don´t...! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Why are you doing that to your miniatures!?"

    "They failed me, Kai. And I do not tolerate failure..."

    "Our miniatures are our comrades! Our friends! How can you do this to them!? I WILL DEFEAT YOU, KOMMISSAR! CALGAAAAAAAAAAAR, DOUBLE FISTING ATTACK!"
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:28 No.1494013
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:28 No.1494014

    Space is Uchuu

    Battle is...well, war is either Taisen or Sensou, I'm not 100% on how you'd say battle.

    Kingdom/Empire is Teikoku (roughly)(as in Humanity-Teikoku)

    Ou is king, dunno about tyrant (Name-ou)

    S'all I can do off the top of my head.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:29 No.1494017
    Japanese skillz reporting!

    takokujin, eirian- alien
    kyameru hou-camel gun
    midori sukin-green skin
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:30 No.1494022
    Does this mean we'll have to make...weaboo orks? This sounds so unnatural.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:31 No.1494024

    Wouldn't Gaijin work better for alien? It literally means 'outside people', after all.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:31 No.1494026
    Nope, theyre called Xorkz.
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)11:32 No.1494032
    Oh fuck, I just thought of something.

    The Tau should be the Sakura Warriors, or something that sounds weeaboo enough like that. Although now I think about it, we are supposed to be doing this Britaboo, not weeaboo, so...


    Well, I don´t know about the Tau, but the Noise Marines are now bagpipers. I don´t know... Darkpipers? And their player is a punk?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:32 No.1494033
    Anything works as long it sounds good enough.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:35 No.1494039
    Oni-Kuuhaku Marines / Onimarines
    Uchuu/Kuuhaku marines
    Sisterhood of Kaisen / Oniichan no Kaisen!
    kyameru hou (thats tau)
    midorisukin (and orkz)
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:35 No.1494041
    This is gold. GOOOOLD
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:36 No.1494044

    The Orks would sound and act like stereotypical gang members/junior Yakuza/delinquents from anime. With Kansai dialect as Orkish.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:37 No.1494048

    The Chaos players Kai normally meets should all play Undivided.

    The Elite Four will actually be one specific Chaos Army each, and each player acts according to type. Khorne-player is a violent psycopath, Slaanesh-player users her body to try and distract Kai to win.

    Not sure about Tzeentch and Nurgle though.

    The final person to beat after the Elite Four is his rival, who has found the most powerful miniature of all. The stand-in for the Emperor of Mankind (SUTAAA CHAIRUDO!).
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:37 No.1494049
    I think that's a little TOO much weaboo.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:37 No.1494051
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:38 No.1494053
    >kyameru hou (thats tau)
    >midorisukin (and orkz)
    Sounds rather... bad. =/
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)11:38 No.1494056
    Please, remember that Wallhammer Faulty Kai is not supposed to be weeaboo, but BRITABOO. This means having the Japanese style and ideals (BELIEVE IN INANIMATED OBJECTS), with the British quirks and names.

    Calling the units Japanese names defeats the whole purpose behind this. Also, it makes them sound totally weeaboo, whereas we only want weeaboo in the... "spirit" of the story, not the aesthetic of the minis and the games.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:39 No.1494058
    You mean the Kami-King of Humans, right?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:39 No.1494059
    Tzeentch would be that guy who looks really normal. He wears glasses and doesn't talk much. He seems really calm and emotionless. But then someone else will describe him as being some sort of chess prodigy who also plays Wallhammer.
    "He can plan out moves 300 moves in advance. He's greater then any supercomputer could be!"
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:40 No.1494062
    Yeah, the previous names were better.
    Those who don't understand japanese have hard time with those japaneseish names.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:40 No.1494063

    I like.


    I also like. Much better than mine.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:40 No.1494066
    The Rival has to play Guard. Kai, Kai, silly, faulty, Kai... It's not the power of a single miniature that matters.. IT IS THE CHEESE IN THE LIST!
    *deepstriking melta/demo units*
    The Rival is a horrible rulelawyer and a cheeselord.
    Kai is semicasual and wins due to good dice rolls and bad opponents.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:42 No.1494070
    Nurgle would fat slimy guy who farts all the time and calls himself "Papa Nurgle".

    He wants to hug everyone and he whispers to everyone: "Papa Nurgle loves you. *BURP*"
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:43 No.1494075
    I think the gods names should change too.
    Khorne- Kohn
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:43 No.1494076

    IG should definately be something engrishy like the aformentioned "Peace Enforcement Force". Very Gundam/Macross-ey
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:44 No.1494077
    The Nurgle player should be a neckbeard.

    Self-insertion anyone?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:44 No.1494078
    All the tournaments and battles are echoes of actual battles fought in the 41st millennium. Kai and his friends has to win or MANKIND IS DOOMED
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:44 No.1494080
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:44 No.1494082
    What if instead of his Rival, the last guy is the ONLY Wallhammerer who has a GOOD Undivided army.
    Kai: Kaos United? HAH! Easy pickings!
    Rival: No Kai! Hes better than you think!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:44 No.1494083
    Gah, you beat me to it.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:46 No.1494092
    >>1494082 Satan the Ruiner
    You are doing all the Special Characters now. I'm not even touching them. god damnit I lol'd.
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)11:46 No.1494093
    >The Rival is a horrible rulelawyer and a cheeselord.
    >Kai is semicasual and wins due to good dice rolls and bad opponents.

    Not only that. Kai´s rival used to enjoy the game the way Kai played it, but as more and more people got into it, she started losing despite the heart she put into it. Eventually, she started min-maxing, and then became a ruthless cheeselister, destroying her enemies using everything in her repertoire. Mind games, cheese lists, grey areas...

    And not only that. Kai´s rival is also HIS OWN SISTER.

    Kai will eventually have to face the same dilemma as she did. When his heart and his willpower are not enough to win, what will he do?

    "Kai, I, who have been defeated by you, can finally lay my miniatures to rest... but you, who keep winning, will have to continue playing!"
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:46 No.1494094
    Perfect! Little to eveyone's knowledge save Kai, the models are ties to another dimension. When one makes a new model, that character is born in the other dimension, and any fight that takes place actually happens in the other dimension. Kai knows this as he had a traumatic past that transported him there somehow temporarily.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:46 No.1494095
    What, nobody remembers 'Inferior Guard?'

    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:48 No.1494100

    That's why Kai has to eventually win over Mystery Battler. Unknown to Kai, Mystery Battler is actually his father (or other, cliched relation), corrupted by the power of the Tillanid, intent on robbing select humans of their biomass to turn himself into a Genesrobber so that he can (re)create the tyranid race.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:48 No.1494101
    Oh, and he also has to gradually lose his cool as he begins to lose. By the end he's ranting about how he planned every move out to perfection, but Kai still beat him.

    Then Kai tells him that he did take every variable into account except one...the bond between the player and his minis!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:48 No.1494103
    Karne the god of war
    Nargel the god of death
    Xeenz the god of magic
    Slenas the god of hentai
    Kaos United

    Now even MORE dumbed down for all our Britaboo folks!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:48 No.1494104
    Oh no! Kai had already lost his Dread-Mech to the Chaos United force! How will he find victory?!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:49 No.1494108

    Not only Kai knows that, every Champion does. The hero unit of each Champion is a famous hero (or great villain) in the future and their battles all happen as they are played. Kai has Calgar. His rival has Abaddon. There must be someone that plays Eldrad. Some of the champions have actually sold their soul to the Chaos gods and are plotting to damn mankind. It's GRIMU AND DARKU like Yugioh.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:51 No.1494117
    Satan the Ruiner is the most epic badguy in Wallhammer. GL fixed the fluff so that now he is to REALLY be feared.

    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:51 No.1494118
    And then, out comes a muscular figure with his model
    'Fight Boss Gasskull, Prophet of the Xorkz'
    And the battle for 'End of the World' world has begun.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:54 No.1494132
    What about Horus? Maybe he was used by an evil vice-president who tried to take over Games Labourstore and turn all mini-users into his slaves
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:54 No.1494134
    Fuck i loled.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:55 No.1494139
    Rival has no special characters, as they are pointsinks and crap.
    Elite Four has Kharn, Ahriman, Lucius and Typhus
    Grand Master Wallhammer Champion has Abaddon (Satan the Ruiner :P)

    TWEEST: Just before the final match a mysterious 10-foot man in a poorly-fitting greatcoat delivers kai the rulesheet and models for 5 custodes to fight Abaddon with. It is "The Kingdom of Humanity's last hope"
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:56 No.1494141

    It's The Emperor. Who is also Kai's dad.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:56 No.1494142
    I'd rather see a bolt pistol, as they would be tons more intimidating.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:56 No.1494144
    The to distract him while Kai fights the real enemy, comes a girl who always fights Kai but secretly has a crush on him and does battle on 'End of the World' world with Officer Yarhik.
    Let next to ultimate battle begin!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:56 No.1494145
    Kai: "No! Without my Dread-Mech, the Kaos Mariners can attack my Bossquarters directly!"
    Rival: "That's right, Kai! I allowed you to use your Brooming Movement to attack that squad of Kaos Exterminators! Now watch as Carnage the Backstabber destroys your precious Calgar!"
    *rolls dice*
    Kai: "Please, Eternal Kami-King! Let Calgar live!"
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:57 No.1494147
    When Genki Laboursotre and Games Workshop united, the presidents of both played for leadership.

    Genki-san had Horus, GW champion had the Emperor.
    Minor GW victory.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:59 No.1494161
    i gagged. in a fun kind of way.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:59 No.1494165
    And the battle had mentally scarred the GW President, making him stay within his office, while the Genki President plotted his inevitable revenge on the trash who beated him.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)11:59 No.1494167
    One of Kai's friends should use Caiphas Cain.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:00 No.1494168

    Calgar: Don't fear Kai. Even if I die on this battlefield today, you are already skilled enough to defeat the toughest opponents. You believed in me. Now keep believing in yourself... For the Kami-King." *dies*

    Kai: *tears streaming down* "For the Kami-King! It's time! My final move..."
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:00 No.1494171
    So, the Elite Champino has ALL the chaos Special Characters?

    TWEEST: The last game of Faulty Kai
    Kai VS Quad-Elite Champon
    3000 points
    Kai: Calgar + 5 Custodes
    Champion: Satan, Carnage, Salmonella, Angra and Lucien (and Fabion Vile?)
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:02 No.1494180
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:02 No.1494181
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:03 No.1494184
    And with his single tear (manyly ttear cause he's a guy and it's only one), he activates a special rule that only happens when his Land Raiding vehicle is wet. His Land Raiding Vehicle plows through the enemy and runs over the Kaos Lord Satan!!!
    Kai wins!!! But at what cost?
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)12:03 No.1494189
    >Calgar: "Don't fear Kai. Even if I die on this battlefield today, you are already skilled enough to defeat the toughest opponents. You believed in me. Do not believe in me anymore, believe in yourself, who believed in me!"

    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:03 No.1494190
    Definately need Apocolypse Battles.

    And he definately needs a friend with Commisar Cain. He only shows up once or twice, but we all agrees he's a much cooler character than Kai.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:04 No.1494194
    Someone dig up the names of the 5 dead custodes!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:04 No.1494200
    Uhh...Light, Justice, Truth, and some other stuff? I dunno, I think it'll be names that are part of good virtues.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:05 No.1494203
    Pib, Pob, Zib, Zob and Roy?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:05 No.1494208
    Emperor save me, I love this board.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:06 No.1494212

    If we were to do that, we need to fix a scene where we have Kai doubting himself, during the early battles, and Calgar shouting at him, "Kai, don't believe in yourself, believe in me who believe in you, child!"

    *Cue lensflare over Calgar model*
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:06 No.1494213
    He seems to be really crappy...until he finally acquires his Jurgen mini and becomes awesome. Later on he fulfills his destiny by holding off an evil murderer who plans to kill Kai so he can't make it to the last game. He does it by betting his life on the outcome.

    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:07 No.1494222
    The Xork player should be like team rocket. Loud-mouth comic relief, always gets defeated, but always comes back for anuvver go!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:08 No.1494228

    The murderer would be a sadistic Black Elfdar player that actually is a serial killer the police can't catch.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:08 No.1494233
    Should we have more than 1 Apoc battle? I like the idea of it going like this:

    [4th elite defeated]
    Kai: So, just 1 more game to go! YESS!
    *rival arrives*
    Rival: kai... the last battle... You should know what I didn't...
    Kai: Yeah i head 3000 points, Thats big but i'll manage
    Rival: it's... Apocalypse rules...
    Kai: What rules?
    *rival hands rulebook*
    Rival: The battle is tomorrow at dawn. Enjoy your study night. Oh and the battle has no force organisation charts.
    Kai: WHAT!!??
    Rival: The amount of cheese one can do with those rules... I stood NO chance... *traumatised*
    *at night, kai studying*
    Kai: Bawww so many new ruleeesss and my army can't win against no-hold-barred cheese...
    *knock knock*
    Emperor: have these. They will save the Kindom of Humanity tomorrow *hands 5 Custode minis (much better paint and sculpting than Kai's) and datasheet*
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:09 No.1494236

    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:09 No.1494237
    To add a bit of comedy, Cain trips, and the enemy over shoots, hitting a gieant tree cover, causing it to fall on him. Cain rolls to saftey and is victorious. He is too weak to join Kai's fight. 'Give them heck Kai' he says, holding his left arm, even though there is nothing wqrong with it and walks down a long corridor with light at the end.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:09 No.1494238
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)12:11 No.1494243

    Nawh. If we have a kid playing who´s an evil Commissar that destroys the minis that fail him, we should have a good Commissar who praises those minis that have served him well, and cheers the others on to victory.

    At the start, this good Commissar is not too confident, and prefers to fight very defensively. Because of this, he tends to lose. However, Kai or some other player gives him a special mini. The player says it´s a very special mini, a "lucky charm". The good commissar thinks he is not going to win, and doesn´t like the mini because it is atrociously painted and somewhat disfigured, but then he manages to win by betting everything on that mini, despite it being just a regular Peace Enforcement Force soldier. From that point on, the good commissar player´s confidence restored, he becomes a force to be reckoned on the tabletop!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:11 No.1494245
    Anyone think we'll need a drawfag to make some of this?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:11 No.1494246
    The Ultimate Champion has to wear a toned-down Abaddon suit. Like a black navy officer outfit, with chaos stars on the epaulettes and front. He has a monocle, a tallon of Horus (like Kai has a Fist of Ultramar) and a huge-ass scar that goes across his face. He got it converting Satan the Ruiner.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:12 No.1494248
    Uhhh...hello? The murderer would obviously try to kill him through a game of Wallhammer. Because that is how everything is settled in this story. He has traps on the boards and whenever someone loses a mini, he gets to stab them or break a finger or something. If they try to leave then he just shoots them.

    The game must be played...TO THE END *scary evil grin*
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:13 No.1494255
    Atleast one. And if only one, that needs to be a dedicated one.
    This is Gen2 WHFK. No more Copypasta.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:13 No.1494257

    And no arms?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:14 No.1494261
    Wait wait...I got an idea. We can use both of those together. The Black Elfdar serial killer and the good commissar.

    Oh, and the evil commissar's final battle should be against the Caiphas Cain commissar. To show him the TURUE MEANING OF HONOR AND GRORY
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:14 No.1494262
    >>1494246 huge-ass scar he got converting a mini
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:15 No.1494268
    In the End, kai barely wins, and the building collapses from the awsomeness of the battle. Kai emerges, weakened terribly. And So does ultimate champion, who demands a rematch
    "No Ultimate Champion, you have failed me."
    And in a blur, a fast bject comes and snatches Ultimate Champion's Entire Army. On a roof top looking down is: The Pesident of Genki Labourstore! And in his hand are all of Ultimate Champion's minis!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:15 No.1494270
    Guess why he has the Tallon there. He probably converted his own arm off.
    But Satan the Ruiner has to be the most epic mini in the series. It has to LOOK like it could kill people.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:18 No.1494282
    "Oi, Kai! Reddy fer anuvver battle, ya baka?"
    "Warboss Xorkafungus-san! You again? You know you can't defeat my Dread-mech!"
    "Yes I can, wif my new Kamikaze Gitz! Bwahaha!"
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:19 No.1494291
    "Very good Kai. You are now Ultimate Champion. But compared to me you are still nothing!" says the President and jumps down challenging him to battle. Kai is completley blown away from the combined forces of kaos, and the President's mystery models, models that Kai had never seen before. As Kai lays sprawled on the ground, the President sarts laughing and monolouging about how strength and numbersare all that you need to win and stuff.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:19 No.1494292
    Holy shit, the ultimate rival was so obsessed with power that he made the ultimate mini. THE GIANT MINIATURE OF SATAN THE RUINER. It's the size of a full-grown man and to give it ultimate destructive power, the rival CUT OFF HIS OWN ARMS AND STUCK THEM ONTO THE GIANT MINI!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:19 No.1494294
    Genki: No, YOU ARE THE FAILURE. Kai, you are the new Champion of Games Labourstore. Take this army. It is the most minmaxed powergamer army the rules can make! With my army and your dice rolls, WE COULD CLAIM ALL THE WORLD!
    Kai: ...no thank ^^. I prefer casual gaming with my friends *walks off whistling*
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:21 No.1494303
    I thoguth the Rival played a huge cheese-force of IG and the Elite Four Champion had Satan?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:21 No.1494308
    follow up with
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:21 No.1494310
    super hilarious grimdark clishe end go!
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)12:22 No.1494314
    >Oh, and the evil commissar's final battle should be against the Caiphas Cain commissar. To show him the TURUE MEANING OF HONOR AND GRORY


    *The two stare at each other, and then put their hands on the table. Crain´s minis are a lot of rookie infantry, with a few tanks. The Georgen miniature stands proudly, holding his regiment´s banner. Gont´s miniatures are a small elite infantry force, with knives on their mouths and eye-patches, looking fierce like fuck.*

    "Crain... I did not expect such an indisciplined player like you to come! And you come fight me with your rabble! Why don´t you just let me give the Kami-King´s mercy to your miniatures?"

    *Crain straightens up, and raises a fist in defiance.*

    "My rabble will defeat you! What they lack in training, they make up with effort and guts!"
    "PAH! What is a PEF soldier? A MISERABLE PILE OF POOR STATS! But I will prove to you that my harsh methods yield better results than your weak, soft-handed disciplinary court! HAVE AT YOU!"
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:22 No.1494319
    No, no. More like this:

    Kai: Calgar-sama...
    Rival: Now do you see? It's useless to resist! My Kaos Mariners are far more powerful than your pitiful Ultramariners!
    Kai: I'll never give up! Calgar-sama taught me that you can only win when you trust in your men!
    Rival: Fool! The only thing that matters is that they earn their points back! With your Bossquarters gone, you'll never win this game!
    Kai: My Ultramariners don't need a Bossquarters! Each one knows the true path to victory is in courage! SHOOTAN PHASE!
    *Kai rolls all sixes*
    Rival: IMPOSSIBLE! My Kaos Exterminators!
    Kai: And did you forget? My own Fighting Exterminators are going to use this turn to Instant Transmission to the battlefield!
    *Kai deploys the Fighting Exterminators*
    Rival: What? Around my Bossquarters?! That's suicide!
    Kai: Not if my men have COURAGE! ATTACK PHASE!
    *Kai, again, rolls all sixes*
    Rival: My Superior Oni is not so weak as to fall to that! It has an Invincible save!
    Kai: No! My attacks won't effect it if you roll above a three!
    *Rival rolls a die, dramatic close up... a 2!*
    Rival: NOOOOOOOOO! Without the Superior Oni, my Kaos Mariners can never secure victory!
    Kai: That's right! You thought my Ultramariners would be useless without their Bossquarters! I knew that meant your Kaos Mariners would fall if I did the same to you.
    Rival: I... I lost. *looks up* Forgive me, Anubis. I thought I could... *falls over*
    Kai: *gasp* No! The Terrible Powers have struck him down for losing!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:25 No.1494333
    Kai then blacks out, the only word he can see before losing conciousness is: Genki...
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)12:26 No.1494336
    And the Rival was Kai´s sister, disillusioned with the confidence and courage method which did not yield her good enough results. Kai´s sister is the opposite of him, and is the harsh reality in Kai´s life, a constant remained of what might happen to Kai...
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:26 No.1494337
         File :1207671987.jpg-(250 KB, 661x900, 1207466135628.jpg)
    250 KB
    Shouldn't that be 'Damninators'?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:26 No.1494338
    >>1494319 anubis
    i thought it was Osiris?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:26 No.1494340
    Gaunt just shouldn't be in it. We already have a better heroic commissar. We need an actual evil Commissar. Are there any major named ones? Sobile is in Armour of Contempt, but he isn't really a major character.

    Oh yeah, right. Okay then just make it the Elite 4 Champion.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:27 No.1494345
    this is Gen2, we are re-inventing it.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:29 No.1494351
    I thought Osiris was used by the Japanese CEO to try to take over Games Workshop by force. The GW CEO used the Emperor, but was so injured in that epic battle that both companies were weakened and had to merge to survive.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:29 No.1494358
    Yarrik is harsh but epic
    then we have Gaunt, Holt...

    JUST USE SHAFFER. Hes a motherfucker who kicks people in the face for looking at him funny.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:31 No.1494366
    Genki used Horus agains the GW president, as back then the system was still Warhammer and had all the old fluff and people.

    After a few years of alliance, the fluff got rewritten, with only odd tidbits remaining. (10th Edition 40k?)
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:31 No.1494370
    Wait, Gaunt is a good guy who actually cares about his minis...he could be the mentor/grandfather of the Caiphas Cain player who taught him to always take care of his minis.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:32 No.1494374
         File :1207672352.jpg-(84 KB, 635x355, FaultyKaiNote.jpg)
    84 KB
    As the guy who originally barfed up Wallhammer during the Move and Shoot hilarity, as well as the one who makes most of the crappy photoshop comics I'm both delighted and horrified by this thread's attention.

    Please be gentle with my baby.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:33 No.1494384
    Horus: mini used by Genki years ago in the GW VS GL match.
    Osiris: Battlelord of Kaos United

    Satan the Ruiner: General of the Elite Four Champion's army.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:33 No.1494390
    What about Simion or whatever, in the new Cain book? He was arrested for attempting to execute an entire company personally for cowardice, and now lives as a psychotic junkie kept alive by constant streams of various drugs being injected into him. By varying the levels, he can fly into a berserk rage.

    Fuck, it's gotta be Simion. Disgraced ex-commissar takes rage out on models.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:33 No.1494392
    No, see, that's why Gaunt is perfect for the evil-Commissar role. He used to be a good and noble player, but when Laborstore took over GW, they closed down his local gaming store, and now he can only play by wandering around to other stores. The minis he uses have been discontinued, he's slowly losing them, being ground down from a 3000-point army to a mere 1000. He is twisted by pain, loss, and a thirst for revenge.
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)12:34 No.1494397
    Ciphran Crain VS Chaffer! Effort and guts VS discipline and punishment! THE COMMANDERS´ PHILOSOPHIES!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:35 No.1494404
    As the conspirator behind several recent projects (Eclipsion, Frollo, This), I promice to see to it that this project shall follow the path set by you, but in a Gen2 fashion. If you would wish to join us, there is always place for more

    We are Grea/tg/uys. /tg/ gets shit done.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:38 No.1494416
    How about this: He's not a bad guy, but he has become embittered by this new generation of players who treat their minis badly, and the Games Labourstore corporation that seems to encourage them. Later on Caiphas is able to inspire him enough to return to the game in time to train him for the big match against evil Commissar Schaffer.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:38 No.1494418
    Chaffer's Final Hopes.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:39 No.1494433
    160+ replies in 2 hours.
    /tg/ is going to get this shit done!
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)12:42 No.1494448
    We could have Chaffer as the commissar who picks up the minis left in the bins by other players that hate them for performing badly, and gives them a last chance to redeem themselves. He´s an old, grizzled player of Wallhammer who deep in, can´t take seeing PEF miniatures thrown in the garbage by the rookie players who do not take their time to play and understand them.

    He sheds manly tears when he sees players throw their miniatures in the trash. We would see a flashback of him picking up a PEF box from the trash bin, and crying a single tear.

    Gont would be the guy with a small elite PEF force that´s so hung on his miniatures being super-elite bastards, that he executes them when they fail, failing to understand that the PEF army is the one that requires FAITH AND GUTS most out of all the Wallhammer range.

    Crain learns from this man in an intensive training course which he must complete before returning to the gaming scene. When he does, he defeats Gont after a hard fight. But then, when Gont finally understands that his harsh punishments did not have the results he expected, he falls into a great depression. Crain takes pity on him, and cheers him on to find a new philosophy to command his troops.

    In the final Apocalypse game in the series, with Kai and his friends facing the evil Kaos players in the ultimate battle, Gont appears with his elite troops to support Crain´s! Crain´s guts and confidence, together with Gont´s elite troops, win their side of the great battle!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:43 No.1494456
    As soon somebody actually starts writing or drawing...
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:43 No.1494457
    Thread is archived
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:45 No.1494465
    No wait, Schaffer is the bad guy. We need at least one multi-episode battle with an irredeemably bad Commissar.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:46 No.1494475
    Gont: "I lived in Tannoko when Games Laborstore decided to create their new line of game stores. Their first step was to close all of the old Local Game Stores, including the one in my beloved Tannoko. And they never opened up a new store! Tannoko was dead, not considered valuable enough by GL to reinforce."
    Kai: "That's terrible!"
    Gont: "Yes. I had to drive to other cities to play Wallhammer. It would be hours of driving, but I thought I could handle it. But then... then... they stopped making the Ranger Pattern infantry miniatures! My army could never grow again! That was when I swore revenge on Games Laborstore."
    Kai: "How can you get revenge like this?!"
    Gont: "If I defeat you, I can advance my tournament ranking! If I get to the top, then I may challenge even the Emperor of Games Laborstore! I'll do anything to get there, even killing my own men."
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:46 No.1494477
    Well, I did a lot of stuff in my head that I can share. Stuff I never really ended up putting down in picture form because I had trouble finding the right elements to photoshop.

    See, it might sound crazy but the whole Kai versus Ko Ma thing went to a very silly place in my head. Sure, while fighting to win the grandest of tournaments is cool and all, I wanted Kai to battle his nemesis over something absolutely crazy.

    The Crown Jewels.

    Not just because they're a set-piece for conflict and evil deeds in British media, but because inside the crown's padding is a page left out of a bookdex (no one knowns which) and inside the head of the sceptre is a mould. To whomever breaks open (and destroys) these important pieces of Britain would gain access to the Ultimate Wallhammer Piece. Some think it's an ork, others the Tau, some claim it's the Emperor-King himself.

    So Ko Ma, from the beginning of the series right up to its climax creates a force to assist him in this endeavour (nonsensically). SHUTEYE. For some reason this involves either recruiting or removing powerful Wallhammer players, which leads to the eventual crippling of the kindly Games Labourstore employee/mentor to Kai, Don Pantsu.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:47 No.1494485
    So, character sumup
    -"faulty" Kai: Ash lookalike, with powerfist and comissar hat. Casual Wallhammer player. Ultramariners
    -Rival-tan: Kai's cheese-hoarding sister. Powergaming Kingdom-Guard
    -Comissar Chip Craine: Low-budget Guard player, using many ragatag models.
    -Comissar Gont: Embitterd old model player. Guard
    -Coloner Chaffer and his Final Hopes: IG powergamer. Punishes his miniatures for failure
    -The Elite Four: four players powergaming one aspect of Kaos. In order Khorne-Nurgle-Slaanesh-Tzeentch
    -Champion: Apocalypse Powergamer, Kaos United Dark Phalanx, led by Satan the Ruiner
    -Kai's father: The Emperor/President of Games Workshop/Labourstore. Plays Custodes.
    -Mr. Genki: President of old Genki Labourstore. Dark Phalanx led by Osiris
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)12:50 No.1494504

    How about Commissar Beige? From Ciaphas Cain´s books, in The Traitor´s Hand, I think it was. He was an Emperor´s botherer, super-faithful and crap, and wanted to have Ciaphas court-martialed because he thought Cain was not being upfront with his courage and luck.

    Hell, we don´t even need to change his name. We could say that he´s so gone in the head, that he will do ANYTHING to achieve victory on the tabletop, including executing his own miniatures to make sure the other ones perform as expected.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:50 No.1494505

    Sounds good. Keep Chip Crane around as comic-relief guy who needs to believe in himself. (And his special super-rare Jurgen piece)
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:50 No.1494507
    He should, when he loses the match, execute his dice.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:52 No.1494516
    Bingo. As long as we keep the actual torturing of the minis whenever they miss or lose a save or something. It'll be a LAFF RIOT
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:55 No.1494534
    I love how well these people fit together.'

    Should the series get some kind of Team Rocket / Rubberrobo gang?
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)12:56 No.1494541
    >-Rival-tan: Kai's cheese-hoarding sister. Powergaming Kingdom-Guard

    Kingdom-Guard still sounds pretty bad. I think Peace Enforcement Force sounds better (that is, more ridiculous).

    >-Coloner Chaffer and his Final Hopes: IG powergamer. Punishes his miniatures for failure

    Leave that to Beige, and keep Chaffer as the old, grizzled Wallhammer veteran who plays out of love for the minis, giving them one last chance to redeed themselves from their failures. Those who do, he keeps playing with, or stores in a small cabin on his backyard. From there, he could give Kai or Crane a mini that proved itself incredibly good if one believed in it.

    Perhaps he was the one who gave Georgen to Crane?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:56 No.1494544
    I still think Inferior Guards sounds better.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:57 No.1494547
    *rolls a 4 for the save of a guardman*
    Kai: Well, too bad for him but-
    *Beige pulls out a gun and shoots the mini to bits*
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:57 No.1494548
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:58 No.1494554
    Also, I have to say I'm concerned by the complete lack of Mai-chan in this thread. She's not merely a continual lesbian joke, she's the figure of the player that gets stiffed with their army for a long time but sticks with it because she believes that in due time their true potential will be realized. Inevitably (and conveniently) it would and at a critical juncture to boot, stepping out of the shadow as merely one of Kai's entourage and as a Wallhammer player in her own right, encouraged the whole while by Kai.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:58 No.1494556

    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:58 No.1494559
    They try to steal incredibly good army lists and great conversions?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:58 No.1494560
    Awesome. At some point, Kai must actually start weeping at Beige's terrible treatment of his minis.
    Yeeees...it's all falling into place
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)12:59 No.1494562

    And as the Orks, no less.

    Thread definitely needs more Mai.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:00 No.1494566
    I agree
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:01 No.1494571
    The Fa/tg/uyz. Their armes are Counts As forces made out of Looted Konversions. There are no orks ofc, only GREEN SQUATS.
    All gang members have monocles and neckbeards.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:02 No.1494578
    *sigh* Every motherfucking week... C'mon guys, electrocute yourselves with your butt plugs and rid us of your fail.
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)13:03 No.1494585
    A gun is too much. Give him a small welder. He burns the miniatures when they fail him, and as they melt, they make hissing noises. The camera goes black, and centers on Kai´s expression. As he grows horrified, as you see the terror in his eyes, the hissing noises start sounding more and more like screaming...

    Agreed. Mai-chan should totally get more fleshing-out.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:04 No.1494588
    Excuse me while I go make a Space marine army out of Squat Diggas.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:04 No.1494591
    But Orkz got attention. Maybe Black Elfdar?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:05 No.1494596
    a gun has more JESUS CHRIST THAT SCARED ME -value. He can hide it in his coat untill the first failed save and then shoot in the blink of an eye.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:06 No.1494601
    Yes. Mai-chan is an ork player and I will knife anyone who disagrees with this.

    I'm going to knife you.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:06 No.1494603
    No original content.
    Only stat-me threads and army lists. Over and over.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:06 No.1494604
    Personally, I like the small welder. It's more ridiculous
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)13:07 No.1494607
    But Beige doesn´t care about scaring Kai. He only cares about victory. He just happens to be a sadistic bastard who thinks being sadistic is a desirable trait.

    Thus, the welder. Why go for shock value in a split-second, when you can go for shock-value in a drawn-out scene of horror and inhumanity?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:07 No.1494611
    shootign holes in the gaming table isn't silly enough?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:09 No.1494623
    What about a hammer?
    All proper animus need a easy-to-hide giant hammer.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:11 No.1494627
    Exactly, that's just comic-relief stuff. For this to be funny, you need to play it deadly serious. That's why you use the welder. It can be done longer without people getting used to it, like the gun would.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:11 No.1494630
    No, the welder has much more potential. The melting model set against his livid face, leaning right up close to it so you can see the throbbing vein on his forehead would be perfect.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:11 No.1494632
    Voting for Welder. Gun would be awesome, but seeing him slap on a welder's mask and crank up the torch would be too rich.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:13 No.1494636
    What if he annihilates each model in a different way?
    He needs huge preptime and checklists just to know how to break each mini incase it fails.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:14 No.1494643

    Kingdom Guard rings the right bells in my ear. I hope it stays.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:15 No.1494647
         File :1207674932.jpg-(381 KB, 798x1230, FaultyKaiYaoi.jpg)
    381 KB
    Go with the slow melt, it makes for better imagery.

    Now. This is everything I came up with for Mai-chan.
    She comes in pretty early, a young girl trying to find her way in the Wallhammer world at much the same time Kai steps into the Games Labourstore and picks his army. Like Kai, her army selections are looked down on because neither the Ultramariners or the orks she uses are considered capable enough to win. While Kai has an almost naive confidence that pushes him through, Mai-chan does not and struggles but never wavers from her love of the random fun loving orks. The whole time though, Kai is helping her and picks her for a big 2v2 tournament, even though he could have gone with her brother instead.

    Her brother is a Blood Raven player named Nero, whose army's set-piece is a pair of Librarians that combine their powers to perform cross-cutter attacks upon their enemies whilst protected by rapidly-deployed mariners. He's a sort of friendly rival to Kai, though more because he thinks Kai has his eye on Mai-chan.

    It's kind of embarrassing to admit I came up with so much for this when I never planned to really use all of it. Also because it is so very, very dorky.
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)13:16 No.1494649
    That would depend.

    Basically, Beige would have different punishments for different units, depending on how big their failures.

    The welder is for really big failures, and for infantry units. If a squad of PEF soldiers run away, costing him the objective, he melts the sergeant with the welder. If a tank fails to destroy an enemy unit firing its main battle cannon, he heats up a steel pin with his welder, and drives him into the tank commander´s face.

    The hammer could be used to smash the miniatures´ limbs.

    In any case, the punishmed would have to be announced with cruel, sardonic jokes.

    "PEF officer-san, you have failed to shoot Kai´s Rad Speeder down! Since you don´t seem to appreciate the gift of arms, I SHALL TAKE THEM AWAY!"

    Then, he takes his hammer and smashes the arms, breaking them in various parts.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:17 No.1494655
    If by dorky you mean perfect.

    It is pretty dorky though.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:25 No.1494681
    this is /tg/ of 4chan.
    how can we be more dorky?
    >inb4 /co/ /fit/ /fa/ and /b/
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:27 No.1494685
    What about one of those creepy guys who are really big fans of Disneyworld and always try to keep up-to-date with it and wear clothes with "badass" Disney characters on them?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:28 No.1494687
    I rephrase my point: We are freaking awesome.
    now back to WHFK
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:28 No.1494688
    And it can only get dorkier from here!

    Kai himself. Kai Katsudon is just the young boy starting out in choosing his first hobby. No fancy father high atop in Games Labourstore or anything like that, just a kid with a never explained huge disposable income that lets him play. He's dedicated, he's friendly and he's competitive. At the end of the game he's likely to offer condolences to his beaten foe and some advice, before hooking up with his friends to celebrate elsewhere or look to his next opponent.

    His army's set-piece is Calgar because Calgar in Wallhammer represents the indomitable spirit that overcomes all that is thrown at it. Never backing down, always moving forwards in spite of the odds. He's as much Kai as Kai is him, and as such Kai's faith in not merely his own ability but of that of his models empowers his victories all the more.

    He rarely gets angry, and if he does it is more out of passion than anything, and he leaves it all on the table no matter what happens.
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)13:31 No.1494692
    Oh, by the way. We have three Commissar characters, and I´ve been thinking on how to differentiate them physically.

    Crane would be a shota commissar. He would wear a black cloak that´s too big for him, and a Commissar cap (he might have started together with Kai, and Kai would have bought him a small cap because Crain idolizes Kai).

    Beige would be a fat kid with a huge, red sash that makes him even fatter. He takes his torture tools from his cloak, or from his sash.

    Gont would be a muscled guy, whose commissar cloak wouldn´t cover his arms (which are huge... huge... HUGE!).

    Seeing Crain face Gont, Crain being so small and Gont being so muscled, would be epic.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:35 No.1494702
    Does Kai get help from the spirit of Calgar? I don't think we ever conclusively decided for or against it.

    Gont should meet Crane and think that he's too much of a weakling to train under him. But then he sees how much potential he has with his Jyurugen mini strategy and decides to help him reach his FULL MIGHTY POTENTIAL
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:36 No.1494706
    He's a little dense though. Seeing the world in a way that's not entirely accurate. Not understanding that his friends are not merely his friends because they like him, but because he radiates spirit that encourages everyone around him. He doesn't quite understand Mai's fondness for him or Nero's suggestions that Kai has less than honourable intentions for her. He doesn't understand why someone like Ko Ma would go out of their way to hurt his mentor, though in a way that moment changes his world a little. It's this world-view that allows him to accept that Wallhammer is more than the sum of its parts, more than just the power lists or the super-units, more than ruthless strategy. He faces conflict when people tell him to eschew his optimistic style to try to mirror Ko Ma's move and shoot stratagem, a powerful but dangerous tactic that comes from being cold and ruthless in mind and action. A clinical breakdown of Wallhammer to an essence that would be pure were it not so fouled.

    In the end, he masters the move and shoot strategem to finally defeat Ko Ma, but not in the way anyone expects. He remembers every foe, every friend, everything that got him to that point. He does not merely move and shoot. Wallhammer moves and shoots with his heart.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:39 No.1494717
    In the end Calgar is still really just a model on the field, instead of being an assistant he's the symbol of Kai's spirit and will. As Kai delivers the final blow, he does so with Calgar. As Kai feels threatened it's as Calgar is as well. The rest of his army is not neglected, but Calgar is the set piece and the barometer for how Kai is feeling during the fight or how well he's doing.
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)13:43 No.1494727
    >Gont should meet Crane and think that he's too much of a weakling to train under him. But then he sees how much potential he has with his Jyurugen mini strategy and decides to help him reach his FULL MIGHTY POTENTIAL

    The idea was having Chaffer be the one to train Crain/Crane. He would pull off the classic "Intensive Training From Hell!", and then, at the end of that story arc, give him Georgen from the shed in his backyard where he stores all those minis that are "war veterans".

    (Chaffer could be a real war veteran, and see in the minis what he sees in himself. Thus why he decides to save miniatures from being tossed into the trash bin after failing on the tabletop. Because Chaffer believes on the heart that the miniatures have, he thinks they could not bear to be abandoned by their owners like a soldier abandoned by his comrades. Because of this, he gives the miniatures he picks up a chance to show what they are capable of, then give them a place of respect within his shed, together with many other minis that went through something similar.)
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:43 No.1494730
         File :1207676612.gif-(1 KB, 15x15, emot-aaa.gif)
    1 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:44 No.1494732
    So who is the final opponent then?
    Ko Ma, Champion or Genki?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:45 No.1494736
    That works too.

    I'd also like to propose that Beije/Beige should look like Maxwell from Hellsing.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:46 No.1494739
    To bring Crane a little more in line with Cain, make him a terrible strategist, but an excellent tactician. He finds himself in the worst fixes, but manages to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Not quite 'Just as planned' level. His faithful Jurgen Mini always plays a pivotal role, so he trusts it implicitly.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:46 No.1494740
    Ko Ma. Hands down it should be Ko Ma. The man who can win games in his sleep forced to stay wide awake for his final battle with Kai. The Crown Jewels and the mystery miniature on the line.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:48 No.1494749
    >The ghost-commissar should constantly remind him of the teachings of Undying King of Humans.

    I hope this made it in.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:49 No.1494752
    the three, in that order. Or Ko Ma -> Elite 4 -> Champ -> Genki.
    Ko Ma could try to block Kai out of the Elite Challenge.

    also did i understand it right that GL minis are shit cheap (people throw them away, melt them, etc)? And people like Chaffer remember the days when 15 bucks got you ONE mini, not an army, and as such values each one.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:51 No.1494761
    It's all good.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:58 No.1494782
    Yes. The new production methods GW got from japan made them able to drop model costs to a fraction of the old ones, and the new animu cover image made them sell like virtual sex. Converting is a nigh-forgotten art of the masters and the codices cost more than the armies.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)13:59 No.1494792
    29 posts and we need a new thread.
    just warning.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)14:02 No.1494803
         File :1207677765.png-(1.21 MB, 774x1000, WallhammerLostIssue.png)
    1.21 MB
    I always hated that they just abruptly ended this arc after this issue. Things kept going afterwards as if it never even happened.

    Hell, they even left it completely out of the compilation books. Which peeved me. The entire premise had so much promise as far as expounding upon Kai's relationship with Calgar.

    Also, I've heard that there is an uncensored version out on the internet, though I've never seen it. Do any of you fa/tg/uys have it?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)14:04 No.1494807
    Excuse me where did this come from? I though only like 8 pages of Faulty Kai exist?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)14:04 No.1494808
    Is...is that Schaffer?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)14:05 No.1494809

    I like that order.

    Ko Ma's table blocks the way to the Elite 4. He's set up terrain that is totally advantageous to him, but hinders Kai's army in various ways. In the end, Kai masters the Move and Shoot stratagem and emerges victorious, leaving Ko Ma in shocked silence.

    More prepared than ever, Kai advances to the Elite Four.

    Speaking of, I wonder if the first of the Elite Four shouldn't be an easy win for Kai. Like, all part of Tzeentch's plan to lure Kai into a false sense of security. So the first battle is a cakewalk.

    The second battle starts off with the other player in poor deployment, before suddenly deep-striking a ton of whatever units right into Kai's ranks with unerring accuracy (weighted dice, even!), forcing Kai into a battle he really has to struggle to win.

    And then the fights just get harder from there.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)14:08 No.1494821

    It's from an issue of Faulty Kai. It was released in the original run, but immediately afterward the comic behaved as if the events in it had never happened.
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 04/08/08(Tue)14:08 No.1494823
    I´d swear this is a new, old bean...

    Nawh. Schaeffer is heavily scarred and smokes a huge cigar. Besides, he wears an officer cap.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)14:10 No.1494827
    Suggestion: One of the fights needs to be against a typical whiny fucking neckbeard. He's a fat slob who is rude and uses cheeseball tactics.

    Granted, never read FAULTYKAI, but it seems vaguely amusing.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)14:13 No.1494840
    Khorne: Carnage the Backstabber + Berzergangers + Exterminator bombs + Fleshhungerer

    Nurgle: Plague, herald of Nargel + Deadguard + Dread Mechs

    Slaanesh: Lucien the Forever-existing + Rockmariners (she plays dirty, i.e. topless)

    Tzeetch: Angra the Exiled + bikers of Zenx (or how was the new spelling?) + exterminator/daemon bomb out the ass.

    Played in order Nurgle - Khorne - Slaanesh - Tzeetch
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)14:14 No.1494849
    The Elite Four Nurgle player is a huge Neckbeard, as is the new Team Rocket (who play any army, counts as, all models are digga squats with looted gear)
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)14:15 No.1494853
    Tzeetch is EVIL. Fuck you bad experiences against 2+ Inv save bikes that keep dropping terminators on me...
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)14:17 No.1494859

    You mean LOOTIN'!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)14:19 No.1494865
    >>1494849 digga squat lootas
    Team Fa/tg/uy STRIKES AGAIN!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)14:20 No.1494867
    And he has to act all calm and collected until he loses and breaks down. Oh, and he has to do that thing where someone pushes their glasses up on their nose and they're in shadow and the glasses are just two white points of light.

    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)14:21 No.1494873
    For all the WIN here, I see absolutely NO drawfags.
    What gives?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)14:22 No.1494877
    Who? Fatguys or Elite Nurgle?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)14:23 No.1494885
    Tzeentch of course. "HE HAS THE ABILITY OF 300 SUPERCOMPUTERS"
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)14:28 No.1494909
    Wait till we get the whole thing down(and in an easier to digest version).

    If you write it, they will come...
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)14:29 No.1494918
    Hay /tg/

    This is the miserable faggot who told you all he'd do a Faulty Kai manga in the style of the originals, little over a week or so ago.

    I'd have to admit that I failed miserably, and would like to warn any would-be authors of the next Faulty Kai NOT to underestimate how fucking hard and incredibly time-consuming it is to make something half-decent out of copypasta.

    I wish you the best of luck.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)15:04 No.1495037
    This is one of the reasons Faulty Kai Gen2 will (hepfuly) be done all by hand and with minimal copypasta.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)15:05 No.1495043
    We can only hope.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)15:06 No.1495052
    Oh, ok. Haven't read the entire thread.

    Well, in that case I'm completely useless, since I have the drawing skills of a quadriplegic rhesus monkey.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)15:07 No.1495054
    Ok lets tie it up here and I'll grab my tea and start a new thread for summaries and writefaggotry. Everyone OK with this plan?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)15:08 No.1495058
    Is it just me or would Hand-drawn characters playing with copypasta'd warhammers be the best way?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)15:10 No.1495063

    I support this.
    >> Anonymous, Xom's Champion !!0aKrfPDoCW4 04/08/08(Tue)15:12 No.1495072
    Sounds good, but they'll have to be subtle if they do any of the Mai and Miso gag. We don't want them banned for promotions.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)15:14 No.1495079
    Right, we're gonna need some 360 degree photos then so that poses don't become SUPA RIMITEDU.
    Also the attack mode units must be hand drawn.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)15:15 No.1495081
    I think it'd be pretty funny. Go with it.
    Sure. I archived this thread already.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)15:19 No.1495106
    Wait, what are Mr. Genki's minis?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)15:21 No.1495112
    I think they should be the superpowered forbidden minis of tiny humans whose name begins with 'S'
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)15:56 No.1495284
    New thread here

    Mr. Genki plays Dark Phalanx (Black Legion) and his general is Osiris (Horus). In Wallhammer, Dark Phalanx is the most MAD SKILLS cheese army you can get, but only like 2 people (elite 4 champ and Genki) know how to play it well. All the other Kaos United armies Kai faces are easy peasy.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/08(Tue)16:33 No.1495499
    Empe-LOL, you say?

    Delete Post [File Only]
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]