!qtfTMdDxaQ 04/11/08(Fri)20:59 No.1513307|
File :1207961957.jpg-(45 KB, 500x511, Aquabats1.jpg)
BELTHASAR THE BEARDOMANCER
One of the Big Three. Despite not being a dwarf, but rather, a human, his beard has been described as anywhere between 50 nautical miles and 40 acres large. In truth, it exists in the fourth dimension, and cannot be percieved in its true form by mortal eyes. Roughly one half of his undead legion is devoted to the grooming and upkeep of his quantam beard. His phylactery is hidden deep within a labyrinth located inside of his enormous, jungle-like beard. His beard contains immense magical energy and a single clipping can sell for over half of one million gold coins. When threatened, he is known to curl up into an invincible ball of beard and roll to safety. His beard can strike the head from a giant's shoulder and contains many deadly neurotoxins. He is completely bald and frequently uses his beard as a large combover.
LUIGI LUIGI MAKOTOLUIGISUKE, THE DIRE CHEF
A demented warlock master chef who lived a secluded life attempting to unlock the secrets of true flavour. Many of his most famous and delicious dishes were prepared through the use of dark and forbidden lore. His most disastrous recipe involved the fresh blood of a demon who had just commited thirteen murders, five virginial rapes and one indecent exposure. It resulted in a massive wave of negative energy that laid waste to three square kilometres of happy fruit-ed plains and cursed Luigi Luigi with eternal undeath. Now free from the bounds of mortality and safely secluded in his dark tower, Hell's Kitchen, he continues his culinary experiments, creating fearsome and delicious animated beasts. He has to come to believe that the true appreciation of flavour comes only once you've earned the right of taste, by coming within inches of death and nearly having your soul forcibly clawed out. Do not order the kiev.