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  • File :1210490136.jpg-(116 KB, 806x774, scorpion-analysis.jpg)
    116 KB Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:15 No.1706268  
    dem aspekt boyz got choppy in one hand n' dakka in the other, but decided that wasn't enough dakka so they put dakka on their face n' deyz use this dakka when they gets choppy.
    DA skorpion boss can take a power klaw or an 'uge choppa (that's choppier than what orkses got, can get more than +2 strength), or a pair of super extra choppy choppas.

    and since DA scorpion boss is da boss, he's got his dead choppy power klaw, but thought "iz gotta be shootier too", and stuck a bit of dakka on.

    and their dakka? It shoots choppy disks!
    Dakka while choppy, choppy shooty dakka, comprehending dis would make an ork's mind implode. Eldar shootas don't got range like a propa ork shoota though, so that's an arguable deficiency compared to orks.

    brutally kunnin, they're real slippery and sneaky like
    kunningly brutal, they do this all in dead 'ard 'eavy armor.

    sneakin in 'eavy armor. everybody else is like "we'z gotta strip down to be slippery like". Beakies do this, umies do this, even orkses do this, but Eldar's all like " You'z all stupid, dats why youz monkeys. Iz putting on 'eavier armor, iz gonna stomp through the jungle all sneaky like and chainsaw you stealthy like cuz Eldar's da best like dat. And if youz looks at me funny, dakka comes outta my face"

    and the Skorpion Big Boss travels around the galaxy lookin' to scrap, with his extra shooty dakka face that's twice as shooty which makes him 33% choppier, and he's got extra 'eavy armor but it's extra flashy so he can run in it and be even more kunnin' and sneaky.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:18 No.1706287
    10/10 A+ would read again
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:24 No.1706323
         File :1210490691.jpg-(103 KB, 562x702, ork-fab1.jpg)
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    >>1706268

    DEM SCORPY BOYZ 'R DED KILLY
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:24 No.1706324
    Do the other aspects sir, I beg of thee.
    >> RAWK LAWBSTAR 05/11/08(Sun)03:27 No.1706337
    is this some... reverse 40k I smell or am I imagining things?
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:28 No.1706343
    11/11 OP

    my scale goes to eleven
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:30 No.1706358
    nicely done, fine sir.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:30 No.1706361
    The picture makes this absolutely perfect.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:31 No.1706375
    >>1706337
    Nope, just proof that Eldar are closer to Orks than they'll admit. Hell, even their red ones go fasta.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:32 No.1706379
    40K manuals written by Orks.

    So beautiful.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:35 No.1706407
    >>1706324

    Footnotes:

    Banshees- deyz WAAAGH real big (deyz got big lungz so deyz got big chests), der boss's got a big shiny 'uge supa choppy choppa.
    (makes me want to get a hair squig too...)


    Dire Avengers- ded shooty. Da boss goes "ey boyz, we NEEDS MORE DAKKA!" and dem boyz go "RIGHT BOSS!! DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!"
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:42 No.1706437
    Warp Spider- da mekboyz would wanna get der mits on them gubbinz.
    deyz got funny guns. it's all like, shooty like see, but den yooz... yooz get CHOPPED see! Not just like one chop, or two, or three or... or lots but LOTS AND LOTS!! and deres no choppa doin da choppin!! Wot da zog!!


    Shining Spears- speedy, but deyz stupid, white n' blue instead o' red.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:43 No.1706443
    >>1706379
    I kind of wish they would make an "Ork Edition" core rulebook. Instead of all the overwrought imperial fluff and writing style, we get to-the-point Ork summaries and orky tales, and instead of dusty cyborgs and skulls everywhere there are colorful renditions of ork kulture.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:43 No.1706447
    Fire Dragons- yooz ever seen a mekboy cry? Yoo will when you tumble wiff deez boyz. Deyz got like... burnas, but deyz all tankbusty.

    Dark Reapers- Deyz all goffik lookin wiff da black and da skull 'eads. lotsa lotsa shooty dakka. beakies don't like 'em.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:45 No.1706458
    >>1706443

    and there'd be at least one story that will, before you even know it,
    CRY LIKE A MAN
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:46 No.1706471
    I love you OP, you glorious anon you.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:48 No.1706482
         File :1210492108.jpg-(167 KB, 543x623, 1210050497886-1.jpg)
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    >>1706458
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:51 No.1706503
    Actually, Orks wouldn't respect Eldar ranged weaponry due to it not having enough DAKKA. In the final Last chancers book, the Ork Hunters on Armageddon use the autoguns over lasguns, simply because the Orks respect the noise an autogun makes over the whine of a lasgun.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)03:57 No.1706536
    >>1706503

    But wouldn't they appreciate that it's a shoota that shoots choppy bits?
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)04:02 No.1706560
    >>1706536
    Maybe, but they'd have to have a slugga strapped to it to make it Ork-worthy in sound.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)04:03 No.1706569
         File :1210493015.jpg-(247 KB, 1280x1024, 1209539983463.jpg)
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    Don't lizzun ta it boyz, it'za nuvva Panzee trap!
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)04:04 No.1706580
    >>1706458
    The battle wagon turned hard, an' headed right back toward a 'nuver wagon dat had broken down. Da bugs wuz startin' to swarm all over it.

    One of da new Nobz looked up at Zogfist. "Why's we goin' back fer those gits boss?"

    Instead 'o krumpin' da impudent git fer kwestionin' orders, Zogfist jus lookd' at 'im like he askd why red goes fasta. "Because dey iz all one o' da boyz. You alwayz go back fer one o' da boyz." He wuz quiet for just a bit, den he started bellowin'. "ALRIGHT, ENUFF MUCKIN ABOUT, TIME TA GET STUCK IN!"
    >> gourd !UFrLsnORSY 05/11/08(Sun)04:07 No.1706593
    >>1706443
    >>1706443
    >>1706443

    DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)04:10 No.1706606
         File :1210493430.jpg-(116 KB, 398x395, Untitled-2.jpg)
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    >>1706580
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)04:11 No.1706613
         File :1210493469.jpg-(127 KB, 405x488, Untitled-3.jpg)
    127 KB
    >>1706606
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)04:14 No.1706635
         File :1210493694.jpg-(351 KB, 637x904, jungleork.jpg)
    351 KB
    >>1706606
    >>1706613
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)04:15 No.1706638
    >>1706443
    WAAAAAGHAMMER SPACE
    FIF ADDITI'N
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)04:18 No.1706650
         File :1210493889.jpg-(144 KB, 377x538, tophat.jpg)
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    some orky equivalent to that faggy inquisitor cevazicwhatever that is always "FUCKING XENOS COCKSOCKERS!!"
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)04:23 No.1706673
    Da Avatar iz da biggest an' da choppiest, but he aint alwayz da boss, ('anuver reason why da skinny gitz izn't better than da orks). It iz ded killy tho, so watch out. But, if you can get your hands on itz choppa, itd be way better than any power klaw, 'specially if you orked it up some.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)04:40 No.1706754
         File :1210495206.jpg-(127 KB, 1615x306, dead shootychoppy.jpg)
    127 KB
    Capped for future generations.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)04:45 No.1706786
         File :1210495506.png-(117 KB, 660x318, yullodere.png)
    117 KB
    >>1706650
    Ta Orkz, Panzeez an' Umiez will alwayz be a mystery.
    A runty mystery.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)05:11 No.1706944
    OP is fucking awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)05:59 No.1707181
    >>1706443
    >>1706638
    I'll do writing if someone helps with art/design.

    It'd probably be easier if we orkified the Macragge Rulebook first.
    >> Gary Eraklin 05/11/08(Sun)06:02 No.1707196
    >>1706268
    Oh shit I lol'd when I actually read this.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)06:03 No.1707199
    Fucking epic. If this gets a bit longer imma archive it.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)06:10 No.1707233
    dem flayed boyz iz ded mad

    i know all dem metal boyz is ded weird, but when ya finks about it da flayed ones are da weirdest

    dey don't gots no dakka, dat's no surprise because dey's not kunnin' like orks, but usually dat means dey got choppy instead

    dey got choppy, but dey don't gots no noise so how can ya tell dey's choppy?

    and dey dress weird, like dey want to be 'umies, but if dey want ta be made of meat and not rusty then why don't dey want ta be orks?
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)06:17 No.1707262
    OY! Now lissen' up! I know dem Wraithlordz look kinna poncy wif dem long legz an' big 'ead, but deyz ded 'ard. Dey c'n krump a 'umie tank real quick, and often dey 'ave some real big dakka on top! Now all dey need ter be better' is some more choppas on der arms an' legz.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)06:40 No.1707377
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

    Vote it up, faggots.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)10:41 No.1708180
    dem tau boyz are right shooty... dey dont use proper Choppas, but dey is still dedly.... When ya charge right at dem, you better bring loadz of boyz 'cuz when ya git colse nuff to fight dem right and propa, ya wont ave many boyz left... And dont try to get shooty on shooty with dem... dey ave these shooty glowy gunz dat are right shooty, and burn right through ork armor like paper, but if you can git close enough to fight em propper den u ave a chance...
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)10:51 No.1708228
    >>1706754
    greetings, fellow 1680*1050fag. How's your xboxhueg monitor doing?
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)10:58 No.1708259
    >>1708228
    Hueg monitor is insufficiently hueg. Saving up for a 30" monitor.

    A 27" is fine too.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)11:00 No.1708267
    >>1708259
    Just fuck it and buy a projector, a small one will cost about as much as a high end 30' anyway.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)11:03 No.1708275
    >>1708267
    Nah, I'm wanting the crazy insane resolutions the 30" can provide. Just for e-peen, ya know.
    That and I want to see what DoW2 looks like on one.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)11:26 No.1708341
    >>1708259
    I find it better to run two monitors at that resolution. Projectors look naff, need huge space and distance. Massive resolution is less likely to be supported by as many things. Two large monitors are better for having things happening at the same time - I tend to have either a browser or game full on one, with winamp in bar-mode on top and at the edge of another monitor with other programs running inside the winamp "frame". Easier to manage that with two monitors for things to maximise to.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)13:53 No.1709157
         File :1210528433.png-(5 KB, 300x300, rapelord.png)
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    >>1707262
    'did you 'ere dat boss?' the boy said nervously, fidgeting in his seat.
    The battlewagon was fully enclosed, the passengers unable to see the
    battle raging outside.

    'shut yer gob ya-' but Nob Guzzfappa
    was cut short when his head exploded into a fine mist, a gigantic bone
    colored fist penetrating through the wall.

    The crudely built
    wagon began to buckle as two massive powered clawed hands tore deep
    into it's hull. Looted adamantite gave way with a painful screech as
    the Wraithlord forcibly enlarged the hole. Da boyz scrambled wildly for
    a way out, but the only exit ramp was blocked by the wraithbone giant.
    The
    ghost warrior's bony bright lance stood erect, warm to the touch as
    eldritch energies coarsed through its shaft in anticipation. To the
    horror of the hapless greenskins the mighty construct sank the lance
    deep into the immobilized wagon.
    Superconcentrated light energy penetrated the hull of the battlewagon, filling its dark cavities with burning starlight.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)14:13 No.1709224
    >Guzzfappa
    >bone
    >fist penetrating
    >bony bright lance stood erect
    >energies coarsed through its shaft in anticipation
    >sank the lance deep
    >filling its dark cavities

    Oh my
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)14:18 No.1709253
    >>1709157
    LAWL, FUCKING FAIL
    >>To the
    horror of the hapless greenskins..

    YOU FAIL AS A WRITER! Orks don't know horror. Dumbass panzee.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)16:49 No.1710319
    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)18:18 No.1711213
    >>1710319WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

    the deafening cry burst out of the jungle. Before the kroot could react, the green armored savages fell upon them. Their tearing blades smashed the kroot battle staffs like dry tinder as they ripped and tore into their guts.

    The lead shaper spun in a skillful ark bringing his elegant blade to bear against the most garishly dressed of the greens. His blade bounced off the green carapaced armor. If there was a smile behind its unexpressive mask, the shaper felt it, giving a funny look, that his fatal mistake.
    DAKKA DAKKA

    angry bolts of energy shot from the Exarch's face, the shaper reeled back in pain and then was exploded by a great powered klaw.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)18:22 No.1711255
         File :1210544541.jpg-(180 KB, 871x709, makeyouwaaaagh.jpg)
    180 KB
    >>1709253Orks don't know horror
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)18:22 No.1711261
         File :1210544561.jpg-(334 KB, 576x800, 1210543444356.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)18:26 No.1711300
    >>1711255
    No Orks, you are the horror.
    and then Orks was a zombie.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)18:30 No.1711343
    >>1711261
    /k/ and /tg/ do not mix. Please, stay in this board.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)18:37 No.1711378
    I love orks

    I love Eldar

    they are cooler than orcs and elves
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)19:00 No.1711585
    >>1706407Dire Avengers- ded shooty. Da boss goes "ey boyz, we NEEDS MORE DAKKA!" and dem boyz go "RIGHT BOSS!! DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!"

    but deyz got no ammo runts, so da gits den stand around muckin about
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)19:09 No.1711665
    DAKKA OUT DA FACE
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)20:21 No.1712229
    'course, when da boss saw dat face-dakka, 'e knew 'e wanted some, see? so 'e got some mekboy to make 'im a proper orky face-dakka-fing. well, you can guess da rest, right? we larfed so 'ard, we nearly puked. good times.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)20:23 No.1712247
    >>1709157
    (FAP FAP FAP)
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)20:59 No.1712468
    >>1712229

    rules wise, the +1 attack from the squig would work
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)21:06 No.1712502
    >>1706606
    >>1706613


    ;_;
    >> Anonymous 05/11/08(Sun)21:15 No.1712541
    >>1706443

    There are the First Edition (Rogue Trader) codexes: "Waaargh: The Orks" and "'Ere we go," chock-full of awesome Ork fluff

    http://rapidshare.com/files/30414611/Rogue_Trader_-_Waaargh_The_Orks.pdf.html
    http://rapidshare.com/files/30276194/Warhammer_40k__codex__Orks_-__Ere_we_go_Rogue_Trader_Era.pdf.ht
    ml

    Enjoy.


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