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  • File :1211630770.jpg-(147 KB, 400x471, 11863846003.jpg)
    147 KB Share your story Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:06 No.1807045  
    I know there have been similar threads, but we as /tg/ need a thread concerning the worst character concepts you have -ever- seen in a tabletop game. I will share my experience:

    In a D&D game, a person tried to make a half elf, half demon, half air elemental. I told them that they couldn't have three halves and they said 'thirds then'. I asked them how they could be a third of each and she said "uh, duh, orgy"
    >> sage sage 05/24/08(Sat)08:07 No.1807048
    sage, not 40K
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:08 No.1807052
    sage for d&d
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:08 No.1807053
    Actually, why do none of these retards ever just consider the simple grandparents excuse?

    Daughter of a half-something, half-other and a somethingorother.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:10 No.1807061
    x/2^n will never = 1/3
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:10 No.1807063
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    Dms girlfriend made a character that was seven foot tall, 'an obvious herm' (her words) and also had this musk that made other women come to her and bow down in servitude.

    She got pissed when the rest of the party treated her like a big smelly dickgirl.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:14 No.1807083
    playing a game of serenity, annoying guy who cannot roleplay puts all his points into being a ship pilot (when we ALREADY HAD A PILOT FROM THE LAST SESSION).

    And then insists on attacking people with a knife.

    Yeah, the DM dropped reavers on him
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:19 No.1807107
    How is that, by the way? I hear good things. Not like the BSG tabletop.
    >> Boston Tentacle Party !!sS2TVHm9A4b 05/24/08(Sat)08:21 No.1807114
    Oh god, I lol'd.

    I haven't encountered a whole lot of players with outlandish characters to the point of failure. Generally, outlandish characters have been tasteful--for example, the greatsword wielding orc fighter with too many cross-class skill points in Knowledges and Diplomacy.

    Generally, when I see bad characters, it is ust the opposite. Gaming in high school, for instance, I saw no end to silent thieves named Shadow or something equally hideous, or silent rangers who serve no purpose but to fill things with arrows.

    It was always the same two players cycling through the same few awful characters, too. No personality to them, never speaking. Just waiting for the party leader (always the same player, usually playing the same character--a female spellcaster, usually a cleric and usually nobility if not royalty) to tell them who to kill.

    Damn. Forced to recall it all now, I wonder why I ever got into D&D with that as my introduction.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:23 No.1807126
    Lawful Neutral Fighter with ranks in Hide, Intimidate and something else.

    As a child he had a drunk father who would beat him and drink away all the family's money while concurrently being unable to hold down a job for any length of time.

    He came to the conclusion that when his father was drunk, which was most of the time, that being found equalled being beaten, so he spent the better part of his childhood doing odd jobs for food money and hiding from his father. When he reached legal age he joined the local military and never looked back.

    He's of the mindset that if everything in the world were orderly and well regulated then nothing bad could happen. He's a fervant believer in the law and despises disorder of any kind.

    That, /tg/, is the worst character concept I've ever seen. WHERE ARE HIS SUPER POWERS?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:25 No.1807136

    I dont really know, it was my first roleplaying campaign and i've only played one mediocre game of DnD after.

    Although I did get into an epic sniper battle with a minmaxed NPC (damnit, dont use a minmaxer's characters as NPCs!) where I used up all my plot points keeping the rolls even, so instead of getting hit we just shot each other's bullets out of mid air THREE TIMES IN A ROW. And then i got winged by the guy so I couldnt join in the main fight :(
    >> Boston Tentacle Party !!sS2TVHm9A4b 05/24/08(Sat)08:25 No.1807140
    >> Vorkosigan saga Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:25 No.1807141
    >Just waiting for the party leader to tell them who to kill.
    Like Sergeant Bothari?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:28 No.1807150
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    This one fine fellow during a D&D game decided to try to lecture us all about 'real swordfighting' and the lectures went on until we told him we really didn't care. So he decided he would -show- us real swordfighting.

    He made this complex character using these stupid exacting feats and described to us all what he was doing and why he was taking the feats and why everything was working the way it was. It was just yet another vanilla fighter but what made it horrible is that he wanted everything to be 'perfectly accurate' to a setting that thrives on fantasy.Our DM had him fight something that was 'perfectly inaccurate' a Minotaur that bashed his face into the ground.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:28 No.1807151
    If that's the worst, you're really lucky.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:30 No.1807163
    I guess. I'll tell you about the best character concept I've encountered though.

    His name was Damien, the Drow Half-brother of Elminster who was a Rogue and could perform everything that Elminster could due to their bond of brotherhood.
    >> Salamanders Fanboi !!i9thzEvfUtp 05/24/08(Sat)08:33 No.1807174
    Damn, two Vorkosigan references in the same thread. BRB must run vorkosigan campaign.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:34 No.1807176
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    We had a player who wanted to play a WW-2 nazi super soldier in our D&D game. The guy's name was Wulfgang Kriegerson, he was also head of the SS paranormal division and had gatling guns for fists.

    It was horrible
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:35 No.1807178
    You should have accurately filled him with arrows.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:35 No.1807181
    >had gatling guns for fists

    How did he wipe his ass?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:36 No.1807182
    Quite Poorly
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:37 No.1807184
    Not much of a super soldier then, really.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:37 No.1807187

    Genetics doesnt work like that
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:39 No.1807189
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    One girl in our party wanted to play someone who was dying of a terrible wasting disease that made her still beautiful despite going off to the side and politely coughing into a handkerchief and a bit of blood coming up. Drama, blood, dying.

    Until the cleric in the party just healed her. Then she started bitching.
    >> Boston Tentacle Party !!sS2TVHm9A4b 05/24/08(Sat)08:40 No.1807191
    Shit-covered gatling guns. It makes him even more terrifying.
    >> 1/3 golem, 1/3 demon, 1/3 human Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:40 No.1807192
    Chimera. Take 3 seperate creatures and fuse them together.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:40 No.1807193
    Haha. Take THAT, Drama Queen.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:40 No.1807194
    There's a Japanese voice actress who suffers from blood-vomiting fits. Often brought on by close proximity to Kana Ueda.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:42 No.1807204
    >> radio cobalt Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:43 No.1807208
    They had one of those diseases in 2nd ed that came from the quasi-plane of radiance; to cure it, you would have to remove the activated dust from her lungs.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:44 No.1807212
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    half-golem. SOmeone tried to make a half-golem that was a kid that had been turned into a big metal golem. Sound familiar? This was all fun and games until they Dm made us fight someone that turned it to rust.

    then the kid kept saying "I kill the wizard" and the Dm would say "you cant move" and the kid would keep getting more pissed, just yelling "I kill the wizard"
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:47 No.1807219
    Why do people insist in making PCs based on anime characters?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:47 No.1807223
    because they want the DM to kill them.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:49 No.1807225
    fucking furries
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)08:52 No.1807235
    Ugh, fuck, I've had one terrible player for years, which I've finally gotten rid of. This is a person that can't for the life of them come up with anything even resembling original, and who thinks character depth is being really bitchy to NPCs and other players. There are three characters of hers in particular that I can recall, a female pirate that was an exact clone of Jack Sparrow minus anything that made him actually funny, a Tiefling Ninja dual-wielding whips, and a character that was quite literally just Hilde from Soul Calibur 4, right down to the name and exact appearance.

    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:01 No.1807273
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:04 No.1807287
    I played with a man. This man played an evil cleric. This evil cleric was not a particularly bad character so much as the evil cleric fulfilled this man's lust to hurt his real friends. When this evil cleric healed people, it was told by the DM that the wounds sealing felt like acid and left scars and a taint upon the soul. We were not an evil party. We were only the guys that followed along with the evil cleric because his evil healings were like an evil hand upon our blackened hearts, squeezing them to death unless we were evilly healed by this evil cleric's evil god.

    Evil perhaps evil you evil underevilstand evil why evil we evil dideviln't evil BASHED A BABY WITH A FUCKING WARHAMMER TO GAIN AN INTIMIDATION BONUS TO HIS NEGOTIATION FOR MAGIC ITEMS evil evil like this evil cleric.

    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:05 No.1807293
    So I guess the main crux, the main contention, what you're aiming to convey here is that this Cleric was not, what would conventionally be described as, Good?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:06 No.1807295

    Yeah, thats retarded, but
    is fucking hilarious
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:08 No.1807303

    To say that he was simply "not Good" would be an understatement. To say that this cleric was only "something less than neutral" would be a gross distortion of the facts. This cleric wandered into a man's home, shit in his floor, then wandered away.

    He did this over the course of three weeks, just to prove he could. The man sold the house to him, never knowing that the Phantom Shitter was, in fact, the man that saved him from said Phantom Shitter.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:08 No.1807305

    I must hear more of this guys delicious rage
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:10 No.1807310
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    I just lost half a mouthful of beer to that
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:11 No.1807316
    A female halfling rogue called Shinobi played by a weeaboo attention whore, who just had to use a sai and called everyone "-san" or "-chan" nicknames in the most irritating manner. The barbarian was "rage-san", the paladin was "pala-sama", the cleric was "ai-chan"... the first big fight had an evil necromancer incinerate her as a testament to his evil ways, even though everyone said it made him instantly likeable.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:12 No.1807319

    I lol'd too. I thought this was about worse characters. Fuck if he's a naughty cleric. Phantom shitter, baby smasher and a reducer of yon neighbourhoods monetary valuation - that's pretty much my new religion.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:13 No.1807323
    Holy shit. I'd follow this man into Hell and back.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:13 No.1807324
    Well at least a sai is less stereotypical than a katana.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:14 No.1807329

    Cleric McEvil fathered every single one of my character's bastard children. With every single one of my character's wives.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:16 No.1807339

    And they loved it
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:17 No.1807344
    From a D20 Sci-Fi campaign where two factions fought, one made up of a unified military and one made up of a large rag-tag collection of colonists, eco-terrorists and mercenaries.

    One player (who was of the 'trenchcoat and katana' persuasion of character making) made a large semi-bionic tough guy in a trench-coat whose body was covered in terrible burn scars whose entire life was constant PAIN AND HAAAAATE MY PARENTS ARE DEEEAAAAAAD.

    Upon his introduction he threatened pretty much everyone, and probably would have been killed off if the group hadn't folded not too long after.

    I did get away with slapping him on the back, though.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:20 No.1807354
    She really liked the sai, go figure.

    Since her, it's been policy of mine to bitchkill anime characters at the first available opportunity. Thankfully I've been more discerning about who I game with, so it doesn't happen often. Some of the character concepts here have been making my skin crawl.

    I would have loved to have had phantom shitter cleric, though.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:22 No.1807362

    Oh, that's precisely what he aimed to do. He was quickly gaining his particular god's favor for new and inventive methods of dicking over the next guy. His god (designated God of Evil named Bane, lol originality), was thinking about picking up a new person to walk the world with the best of his powers, with which to Evil people with.

    Instead, he took those same powers and started gathering followers. And those followers became believers. And those believers listened to his words and took them to heart and fucked people's shit up. It was awful.

    One day, he simply vanished. The next, we got word that he was a new god in the panthenon. The God of Unrequited Malice.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:22 No.1807365

    magicoo vibwating sai
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:24 No.1807370
    A ninja doppleganger from "the far east" with a masterwork greatsword/katana.
    At level 1.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:24 No.1807371

    That could have been saved, had he been given a fireman's coat and an ax, instead of a tenchcoat and a katana.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:24 No.1807376
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:25 No.1807380
    see, and this is why, when I introduce newbies to RPGs? I MAKE A CHARACTER FOR THEM.
    >> Dusknoir !Jv3Plpw02M 05/24/08(Sat)09:26 No.1807388
    Wait what? That sounds like fucking Runescape.
    Zamorak was a follower of Zaros... I think he might have been blessed with some of Zaros' powers. Then Zaros was banished or something, so Zamorak said fuck him, and became a god (lol somehow) himself, betraying Zaros.

    Man I've not play RuneScape in years. Because it's shit.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:27 No.1807392

    His name was Bajor. He was a human. His favored weapon was a warhammer. Good luck, you malicious fuck in the making.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:27 No.1807393

    Would this be a proper challenge for /tg/? Making the single most stereotypical character ever?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:27 No.1807396
    Yeah, but that would have required a completely different player. He was genuinely shit, and was responsible for much annoyance in other groups he was in.

    I just wish he was the worst player I'd ever gamed with.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:27 No.1807397
    That's a feature for shitting on floors in Runescape?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:28 No.1807401
    We've done it before. So many times.
    >> Dusknoir !Jv3Plpw02M 05/24/08(Sat)09:28 No.1807402
    Ever seen the graphics? everything looks like shit on the floors.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:29 No.1807407
    Oddly enough, the worst character concept I've ever seen was one of my own. Not because it was an anime character, not because it was a Mary Sue, but because I deliberately built him with the sole purpose of dying.

    During character creation, I initially planned on playing a rogue. However, the rolls I was coming up with for stats were quite abysmal: the first set yielded nothing better than an 11, the second fared worse, but the third set (the DM allowed 3 rerolls) was the best of them all: a 17, two 16s, a 12, a 10, and a 3. Yes, a 3. When the 3 was rolled, the DM got a gigantic shit-eating grin and reminded me that since this was my last reroll I had to stick with these stats. I then decided that I was going to make a "paladin" of Olidammara, the god of rogues and bards. This, of course, meant multiclassing fighter, cleric, and bard, and putting the 3 into Strength. I took Weapon Finesse, got a masterwork rapier, bought the most worthless throwaway magic items possible, filled a Heward's Handy Haversack with useless mundane items, and dumped max skill ranks into Perform.

    Combat consisted of putting items together in weird combinations to turn the tides of battle. A lot of plans involved intricate pulley systems and showers of alchemical items. Tried actually attacking straight on, didn't do too well (-4 Strength penalty to damage on a 1d6 rapier didn't work), had to retreat. Scary thing, however, is how long he survived. Went over half the campaign without coming close to death, took the party about that long to figure out what classes I was playing, too.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:29 No.1807408

    Hey, I don't make up these stories. I'm just the mage that got fucked over by him countless times. And watched in horror as random acts of violence and spite got him EVERYTHING HE WANTED.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:29 No.1807410
    What did me in was a stupid climbing competition. Party had to race to the top of the tower, and me with my 3 strength was guaranteed to fail every check. I, of course, was the only one to carry around a knotted rope and grappling hook. I threw it, secured it on a ledge, and started climbing up it when one of the Big Stupid Fighters climbed up and physically threw me off the rope. I, of course, did the smart thing and used my bardic Suggestion to convince him that the rope was made of angry snakes and he probably should let go. He did, took 2d6 falling damage, and proceeded to hit me with his Big Magic Sword.

    I was at full HP, though this admittedly wasn't much. He got one hit in, dealing 3d6 damage right off the bat. Except he was built for crits and rolled a 15, just within his crit range, and dealt another 3d6 damage. Then his chromatic burst weapon went off, hitting me for another crapton of damage, then his stupid-huge Strength total was added in and I was at -10 exactly.

    The look on his face when the heretofore unidentified Ring of Vengeance took him out was priceless.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:29 No.1807411
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    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:29 No.1807412

    Give me an example.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:32 No.1807422
    This always makes me lol because it's so sterotypical it loops back to awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:32 No.1807424
    I had to play with a furry.

    The DM allowed it.

    I win (lose)
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:33 No.1807428

    What kind of furry?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:33 No.1807429
    "Aye ahm Jacque DuJacque! Zee clarieek of love!"

    Boy did that game end fast.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:36 No.1807446
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:36 No.1807447
    I once played a game with this girl who made an 8 foot tall wolf woman who couldn't talk.

    We all treated her like the party pet dog. She eventually got pissed and quit.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:37 No.1807453
    Didn't like playing fetch?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:38 No.1807455

    Probably tried to fetch a barmaid, but got smacked across the nose with a newspaper.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:46 No.1807486
    Bumping with more on Bajor the Evil Cleric...

    He would visit the thieves' guild. Then he would hang out outside of the prison and give lockpicking kits to the people that would promise not to return to the thieves' guild. An easy task, as the thieves' guild required that a certain percentage of stolen goods to be paid to it, in exchange for not hunting and hurting the paying thieves.

    He destroyed the only order that thieves had and was singularly responsible for the greatest crime wave of the century.
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 05/24/08(Sat)09:53 No.1807515
    My DM´s girlfriend had a female ranger elf in WHFRP. Now, one would think that was bad enough...

    The problem came when she roleplayed. The character could have been salvageable if not for the fact that her roleplaying spectrum was between "LOVE AND PEACE" and "HEY LOOK HOW CHEEKY I AM WHEN FACING CERTAIN DANGER IN THE FORM OF LOLI VAMPIRES AND DAEMONS".

    I swear to God, when we met the BBEG, she said "Wassup, bad guy!"

    She roleplayed elves like she was roleplaying a retarded Hollywood-comic-relief nigger.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:56 No.1807523

    A catman >:(
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:56 No.1807528

    His name was Trae, wasn't it? Races of the Wild.

    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:56 No.1807529
    Sounds kinda SOOOO RANDUM! =^_______^= XD
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:58 No.1807533
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    >a retarded Hollywood-comic-relief nigger.

    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:58 No.1807534
    yes but elves are always faggots anyway
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)09:58 No.1807538

    I... I... Don't make me cry...

    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)10:01 No.1807554
    Wizard. He took a -10 hit to his base speed to have a +2 boost to his Constitution. This came in the form of "I am a fat wizard, look at me bulge."
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)10:03 No.1807566
    A female Half-Orc drunken master obsessed with raping anything that moved. That was a fun session, but it was just so bizarre.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)10:03 No.1807567
    Shouldn't being fat lower his constitution?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)10:04 No.1807573
    Sword + Animate Weapon + Rape Anything That Moves = :)
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)10:04 No.1807574
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    >Making the single most stereotypical character ever
    you rang?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)10:05 No.1807580

    Funny you should ask, book of vile darkness, being a fat cunt (you actually take a feat to be a fat cunt) gives you plus 2 CON
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)10:05 No.1807581

    His reasoning was that there was padding over his vitals. I was a little too intimidated by the actual player to argue. Dude was fuck-all huge in muscles and had a Bruce Campbell chin.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)10:06 No.1807582

    It wasnt a sterotype untill after ol sephy
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)10:07 No.1807590
    Well.. in the good old days..

    Gladiators went on a very specific diet. It was meant to give them a thin layer of fat all around their body. Supposedly it saved lives because it acted as an inherent body armor. You have to get through the fat first before inflicting a mortal wound.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)10:07 No.1807591

    Fucking Sephiroth. It makes it so goddamn hard to introduce an angelic character without someone gently pissing themselves at my table.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)10:12 No.1807602
    He is the reason I now cant stand having grey/silver/white hair on my characters. Before, it was my favorite color for hair, but he fucking ruined it.
    >> Boston Tentacle Party !!sS2TVHm9A4b 05/24/08(Sat)10:14 No.1807610
    Two feats, technically. It also gives -2 Dex.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)10:17 No.1807626

    Forgot about that, what a worthless exercise.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)10:30 No.1807694

    I see what you did there.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)10:40 No.1807746
    I come from the future.

    And in the future, all Dragonborn characters are Trogdor.
    >> Dusknoir !Jv3Plpw02M 05/24/08(Sat)10:49 No.1807798
    You say this like it's a bad thing.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)11:12 No.1807900
    The only thing being fat should give you is that your default load is higher than for others. You're carrying 50kgs of extra stuff all the time.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)11:14 No.1807908
    ok I lolled
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)11:14 No.1807911
    V:TM nightmares, man...

    I was a Gangrel Sheriff and had taken into custody another player's Malkavian, who was your stereotypical annoying Fish Malk. Eventually, my character got tired of his in cell antics (such as singing Old McDonald's Farm over and over again), so I tied him to a chair and gagged him. My character says, "Listen, Slim. You're a Malk, not a blithering retard. Calm it down or I start yankin' out the important teeth."
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)11:27 No.1807972

    This is the new Mascot of /tg/

    someone draw him
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)11:28 No.1807977
    Evil clerics can't heal
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)11:29 No.1807985
    Everyone in games I run insists on being evil little fucks. Beating the shit out of drunk pirates at a tavern, killing travelling merchants on roads after helping them, stealing money/houses/anything worth more than 1sp, ect. My first group vehemently protested that killing merchants and taking their wagon of goods was not evil, because they were all chaotic neutral AND CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANTS LOLZ! Faggots, that pissed me off bad. So I put an inconceivably powerful magical lock on the merchant's trunk, yet they still carried it around in hopes of someday opening it.

    Another group just wants to kill people and take their shit, so a couple kill a merchant in the streets before taking a boat out of town the next day. Too bad the merchant's assassin friends noticed who did it, and bribed the ship captain to come aboard and kill the PCs the next night while at sea. One died in the attack, the other was severly wounded and poisoned. Serves those fags right, evil doesn't go unpunished.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)11:31 No.1807996
    Neo(The One)
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)11:34 No.1808011
    >>1807985 Chaotic Retarded doesn't go unpunished.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)11:37 No.1808020
    Probably the worst character I've seen was an Inquisitor character with a Daemon weapon with every single bonus that added damage, plus a perk that made him auto-crit along with a whole bunch of annoying skills that made him a CC god.

    In the end I just said "fuck it" and faced him against an Obliterator (BS120 WS120 S90 T90 Power Armour, can use any weapon in the game once, dual-wielding one-handed ones, no To Hit penalties for auto fire, always counts as stationary, cannot be disarmed) who ripped him apart at range with a pair of Storm Bolters. It felt good.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)11:41 No.1808047
    There are quite a few healing spells in the Book of Vile Darkness - Wound Transfer comes to mind - wounds are lifted from friends and given to prisoners instead.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)11:44 No.1808061

    Not only does that retarded shit piss me off as a DM and piss every NPC off, it wastes tons of fucking time on pointless nonsense that has no bearing on the campaign.

    I'm hoping to eventually kill off the evil fuck party of rogues/fighters/rangers at some point when they have advanced the story to a good point, then have them reroll as a neutral/good party with balanced classes. Then once they have a party worth playing they can come to a point and pick up where their evil faggot PCs left off.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)11:45 No.1808065
    "Suddenly, Death Attacks everywhere. You fail the saves, now stop being a bunch og Chaotic Retarded fuckheads."
    >> Mechanical Overlord No. 00686401. 05/24/08(Sat)11:46 No.1808069

    Except fat is great for endurance events, fleshstain. Long distance swimmers are a great example of packing on some extra flab atop the muscles so they can last the whole way.

    The only reason "fat" is never compared to "holy shit that guy just ran 10 miles" is because 90% of fat people have no muscles to USE said fat.
    >> / !/////m/ShI 05/24/08(Sat)11:50 No.1808088
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    Anyone who completely ignores the fact that NPCs are characters and therefore people.

    Even homicidal sociopaths wouldn't be able to get through life treating everyone they meet like a piece of meat.

    But here is one the best and worst character concept I've ever seen (be sure to look at the merits and flaws). Shame the GM didn't allow it (that GM wins just "worst" for character concepts because all of his characters act like him except they're minmaxed differently).
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)11:50 No.1808095
    Also because most people described as fat have far more fat than they'd need even for endurance events making it so that it's little more than extra burden without pay off regardless of if they managed to have muscle. (but if they did the increased BMR would probably prevent them from becoming more than pudgy anyway. Notable exception: sumo)
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)11:54 No.1808118
    I don't know why DMs that get Chaotic Retarded players don't make the proper alignment shifts.

    Killing people? Doing bad shit? Instant Chaotic Evil. If they complain.. a group of paladins drop in and smite evil.. just to drive the point home.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)11:58 No.1808138

    My current group is ALL chaotic fucking evil. And they are slowly being wiped out.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)11:58 No.1808141

    I lol'd at five dots of Knowledge/Linguistics on a mute character.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)12:01 No.1808155
    Good for you.. or your DM if you aren't the DM.

    I don't see what the issue is. If CN characters are acting like CE fucks then make the alignment shift and have them face the natural consequences of their actions. Shit goes on long enough I bet you could get mercenaries being hired to hunt them down. Essentially NPCS rolled up as PCs. Kick their shit around.

    Tis the natural way of the evil bastard. Burn bright then poof.. gone. Short but "sweet".
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)12:01 No.1808156
    I once played with a Cleric of Pelor, who was supposed to be all good and lawful, but was really a complete and utter ass. At one point, when we were playing the Sunless Citadel, he kicked one of the players on purpose down a spike pit, and got away with it since he also managed to throw down and impale the daemon we were currently fighting. He then immediately said, "Damn. The Meephit got in the way. The spike should go deeper then that." to the impaled fighter.
    >> / !/////m/ShI 05/24/08(Sat)12:02 No.1808162
    I GUESS HE CAN UNDERSTAND ANYTHING. I think the point was that the character didn't have to actually contribute or help anyone but himself. He's also gigantic, smells awful, and has no backstory.

    I also love the specializations, like "shoving" for Strength, "aborting to dodge" and for firearms, "headshots".
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)12:02 No.1808164
    My friend insisted on being a mute elf ninja. His backstory consisted of childhood torture, having his vocal chords torn out, as well as being casterated. No family to speak of.
    His introduction was him stalking the party (he had a +20 hide bonus, he pulled it off pretty well), but when someone DID finally spot him, the party flipped out and rolled init (they were being stalked by a ninja, what would you expect them to do?).

    Apparently, said mute ninja had "unique robes" that made him "instantly recognizable" from the evil ninjas.
    I let it slide, and he joined the party.
    He then proceeded to turn tail and cower behind trees as soon as he took a single point of damage, claiming he was just "playing like a tortured, cowerdly, mute chatoic neutral ninja would".
    When he turned tail and let another character die in the next boss battle, our monk backhanded him across the face, taking him down to -4 in one shot.
    We stabilized him and left him in the dungeon to rot.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)12:06 No.1808190
    Lol mutilated characters.

    A great dickery for such characters was suggested somewhere around here. Have the party cleric heal them.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)12:11 No.1808223
    >our monk backhanded him across the face, taking him down to -4 in one shot

    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)12:11 No.1808224
    Well, aside from my bitching about chaotic evil PCs, there were a couple PCs in a few sessions I was playing a character in (and, you guessed it, both were chaotic neutral) that were completely fucking retarded and useless. They came in late in the game, so we had to meet them in a dungeon. They appeared to us, hanging upside down on the ceiling, cloaked in some black shit. We immediately started calling them bats. Well, one of the "bats" would not speak. AT ALL. Except to his other bat/wizard friend guy. And only in whispers. He also tried to force us to comply with whatever they wished by threatening to drop another PC over a ledge with earthgrab (he was some eldritch warlock shit or some other). All the original PCs (except one douchebag) of course hated them, and tried our best to get them killed. Well, they eventually stopped coming after a few sessions to our relief. I also recall the "mute" guy having a different character for one session previously. He also refused to speak, only did nods and quick, snappy hand movements. It was EXTREMELY annoying.
    >> / !/////m/ShI 05/24/08(Sat)12:12 No.1808230
    Basically, I think this means encouraging everyone you don't like to play mute characters.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)12:15 No.1808248
    Yeah, our jaws pretty much dropped when she did that.
    I know I've told the story of our (female) draconic pimp monk on here before.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)12:23 No.1808292

    A friend of mine pissed a DM off so much, that the DM told him that his god was so dissatisfied with him that he came down to personally off him.
    >> Boston Tentacle Party !!sS2TVHm9A4b 05/24/08(Sat)12:54 No.1808469
    Wait... What? Yes they can.

    They just can't spontaneously heal. They have to prepare the spells.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)13:00 No.1808497
    Oh god, I'm giggling like a schoolgirl thinking of this.
    >> SH: Sage Hoge Part DUEX !!mp3WVEd4fDm 05/24/08(Sat)13:10 No.1808539
    my first character.

    He was a 90 year old elf whoes entire village was killed. He was taken as a slave by orcs for the next 20 years. In those twenty years he some how learned how to use stealth and simple weapons. He didn't get a name from his family so he named himself X. He escaped and now wants revenge on those who killed his family.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)13:28 No.1808631
    Guuurg, half-orc barbarian with 3 Int, 20 STR, 3 CHA, 18 CON, 7 WIS, 16 DEX.

    wandered into town, "adopted" a halfling bard as his "Guuurg Mom". Could speak a total of three phases, including his name, Mom, and Food. The bard started saying some long words to him and Guuurg was instantly entranced and was convinced that he was Guuurg's god Guuurg mom. Guuurg had a feats up the wazoo in relation to run and was set up so that he could run about 650 ft. in one turn. he wielded two great swords and occasionally a small villager to fight anything and everything that might have or be food. his definning moment was the time that a horde of rats were attacking the group (who all ran up trees and were hiding). Guuurg was confused and the halfling bard told him to get up a tree. he lept up to a branch and after three or four turns of trying he found a branch that could support his weight. he then fell out and landed on all that rats spattering them all.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)13:31 No.1808647

    That is epic
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)13:37 No.1808675
    Min maxed much?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)13:38 No.1808683
    Rats are very good climbers.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)13:39 No.1808688
    >>1808631 650 ft. in one turn
    Yeah, good way to kill yourself.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)13:39 No.1808693
    >named himself V.

    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)13:40 No.1808695
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    Mai'q is not a furry.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)13:45 No.1808718
    You're a very good climber.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)13:47 No.1808729
    Forgot to say, Guuurg also was used as a steed for the halfling bard and had ALOT of ranks in craft alcoholic beverage. when he got drunk he went on a bloodlust and ravaged a small village. he woke up in a pool of blood in the middle of the town's church and decided to make alcoholic beverages of the blood.... it did not end well.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)13:50 No.1808740

    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)13:50 No.1808744
    This is why Vampire is a terrible game.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)13:51 No.1808751

    It's min/maxed to hell but I don't actually find the character to be all that horrible. It's comically portrayed in a way that makes its maxed out abilities a weakness as much as its more obvious flaws.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)14:19 No.1808889
    Why not go with a happy medium and make their character WITH them?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)14:50 No.1809009
    I tried that with my players, they kept saying "stop trying to railroad us!"

    Bunch of retarded ass-fucks
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)14:53 No.1809025
    However you can be 2.5/8ths air elemental, 2.5/8ths demon and 3/8ths elf. Its not thirds but its close enough.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)14:55 No.1809032
    how the fuck?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)14:57 No.1809038
    That is the opposite of me.

    There are a few campaigns I have quit because no one bothered to help me through my first character. Like an Exalted campaign someone tried to recruit for through this board. I don't know what I am doing, dammit! Help!

    Then again, I am a cowardly little bitch that will just sit around and look pathetic rather than ask for help.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)15:03 No.1809064
    Why dont you just go all out...

    341.5/1024 Demon, 341.5/1024 Elf, 341/1024 Air Elemental.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)15:04 No.1809070

    One quarter dragon, one quarter celestial half elf.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)15:13 No.1809102
    That means that all the way 10 generations back all of your ancestors were an exact balance of those three races.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)15:15 No.1809109
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    Just shows you how retarded that character concept really is.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)15:15 No.1809110
    Unpossible. A third of 100% is 33.333333333333333333333% Thirds are impossible in real physics. Unless you conveniently have an odd number of people.

    So...half the time.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)15:18 No.1809120
    Its not true thirds. One of the three is slightly less then the other two.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)15:20 No.1809128
    Pic related
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)15:20 No.1809129
    Its sooo fucking close to thirds that we can just call it fucking thirds.

    What is with people on 4chan being anal about things having to be infinitely exact.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)15:22 No.1809137
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)15:27 No.1809153
    Symptom of assburgers.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)15:49 No.1809224
    Had a campaign where a friend of mines gf did a ultimate d&d sacrilege. She played a drow whos first name i couldnt remember. But she was a cleric who worshipped some sun god or some shit who was the sister of Drizzt Do'urden.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)15:51 No.1809232
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    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)16:00 No.1809262
    I was playing BESM, which probably makes me a weaboo faggot right out of the gate, but whatever.

    One of my characters for one night only was a winged, mute minotaur with a trident and a SAXOPHONE. He would fly around and try to stab shit, and whenever he wasn't in combat, he would just stand there and play the saxophone no matter what anyone else was doing.

    I killed him with bees, and made a rule that from now on, no one may EVER play a mute character. This thread is reinforcing my conviction on that rule.
    >> SAGE LIKE THE MOTHER FUCKING FIST OF THE NORTH STAR 05/24/08(Sat)16:12 No.1809299

    Bitch needs a diet coke of evil, altho


    Is fucking AMAZING.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)16:26 No.1809338
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)16:33 No.1809368

    Tell me the bees flew into his saxophone and down his throat.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)16:36 No.1809384
    Thanks for your request.
    It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
    This thread has been requested 1 times now.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)16:37 No.1809396
    Wait, how does one play the saxophone if you're mute?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)16:46 No.1809419
    You blow air into it, you don't speak into it.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)16:48 No.1809435

    That's it, Bajor is a deity in my next campaign. BAJOR DOES IT FOR THE LULZ.

    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)17:51 No.1809682
    D20 superhero campaign. Girl (barely) in group decided to play a girl who was basically jubilee on roller blades and was mentally handicapped and spoke like she was 5 years old through the entire session.

    and another vote for the piss-annoying "true neutral rogue" who does nothing but hides, is magically everywhere that something is happening and is never there when things are boring or leaves when it's difficult.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)19:56 No.1810170
    To iterate with other Chaotic Stupid stories, I once had a player (gnoll warlock) that killed an innocent individual simply out of greed three times within the first two sessions.

    Word for word, this is what I told him upon his third act of murder:
    "Okay, your alignment shifts to Chaotic Evil. The two paladins travelling with you are no longer able to do so and are obligated to smite you in the name of their lords."

    Que the two aforementioned paladins
    rolling for initiative (one player of which did so without even blinking, which made me laugh after thinking about it). Joined also by the other Good aligned character (a dwarf druid), with the the True Neutral cleric sitting the fight out, they pretty much disemboweled the moron's character as he tried to bitch and moan about how I was being a dick.

    Taking him aside after the second session, I told him, without being an asshole, that if he wanted to continue playing in my game that he'd have to not do stupid shit like that. Knowing fully well I said that the game was role-play centric (he wasn't a bad role-player mind you, he just did stupid shit *while* role-playing) and that I wasn't allowing any Evil characters, he eventually (probably begrudgingly) rolled up a Lawful Neutral spellthief and we never looked back on the incident again.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)19:58 No.1810180
    "What languages do you know?"
    "Well, I'm a fighter."
    "A fighter yes, but you've got a 13 intelligence. What languages do you know?"
    "I just speak elvish. I don't need to know how to speak anything else."
    "Excuse me? You'd have to know common at least..."
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)20:08 No.1810211
    Since my group was full of pansy half-men who refused to play anything but elves I decided I would play along. We started at 1st level and I was a ranger. Every time I would miss I would get pissed off drop my bow and charge in with my falchion and start chopping away at anything that was moving. Amazingly I survived until 4th level where I multiclassed into a barbarian and later to a reaping mauler. All I really did was fuck up combat for everyone else by being an inefficient wad of fury. My manliness did rub off on at least 2 of the players because after we were all killed off one rolled a dwarf fighter and the other a half orc barbarian. The last still stayed with his dual wielding half-elf who left his family because they were evil and he wanted to be good. He also had a jaguar named Gren.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)20:19 No.1810248
    Did he have a vagina as well?

    'Cause it sounds like he would have a vagina.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)20:24 No.1810264

    I was in a game once, where the elven ranger didn't feel like talking with the goblins, instead of killing them.

    The cleric asked what languages the goblins spoke, and the DM said 'they'd speak common'. So we try to reason with them. The ranger then charges in & stabs one. The sword sage asks "WTF?" & the Warblade asks "What happened to our civlized discussion, were you not listening?". The ranger: "Oh, I was listening, I just had no idea what you were saying... I don't speak Common". Turns out he'd crossed common off his character sheet. My rogue promptly popped out of the tree I was patrolling in & cleaved a goblin in half.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)20:26 No.1810268
    Of course the funny part in language arguments concerning common is the fact YOU GET IT AUTOMATICALLY NO MATTER WHAT.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)20:27 No.1810274
    I forgot it. Head injury.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)20:29 No.1810279
    What's wrong if the guy doesn't want to speak common? Did he talk to the group before going rip and tear?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)20:30 No.1810282
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    so...a series case of selective amnesia?

    What type of shitty soap opera world do you play in?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)20:33 No.1810292
    C'mon. I've only come back from the dead like twice. And I didn't even interrupt last week's wedding!
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)20:37 No.1810302

    No, he just ran in & attacked. My rogue (being evil & bored)took that as a signal to hack them up with his motherfuckin' axe. This promptly fucked over all possible negotiations.

    The worst thing is. He crossed out elven too, since only 2 party members weren't elves(Me & the wizard). So for the bit where he magically forgot common, he forgot communication as a whole, since he refused to take any fancy languages like Abyssal or Draconic...

    He promptly remembered both languages when we started yelling at him, and it turns out the DM had planned to have others arrive to kill us off on our way out. So by killing them & moving on, we survived a brutal ambush.

    We promptly bought the ranger a magical gem & the whole party got smashed except the faggot cleric, who waited outside the pub... Like a faggot.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)20:37 No.1810303
    But your evil twin did, pretending to be you.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)20:39 No.1810309
    Xom's balls!
    I think facepalms were invented just for your party...
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)20:50 No.1810349
    It assumes 3 bloodlines can have equal distribution in a single person, but you never can. One is always going to be stronger than the others.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)20:55 No.1810365
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    Hence, Fantasy.

    But the whole 'thirds' thing is sheer faggotry anyway. Who the hell do you think you are, Zelgadis?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)20:58 No.1810371
    So use magic.

    Say you want a third orc, third ogre, third human.

    A half orc, half human marries a half ogre, half...elf. Doesn't matter.

    The half ogre becomes pregnant.

    The half human is ashamed of her elven ancestry and uses magic to purge it. The mother is killed; the infant is ripped from the womb somewhat premature, but survives.

    Magic fixes everything.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)20:59 No.1810372
    Plenty of races don't start with common. Ogres, Giants, Troglodytes, Gnolls, and a bunch more.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)21:00 No.1810383
    Zel is an odd one. If the original novels are to be believed, he's a human soul that was transplanted from his human body (which was then destroyed) into a duplicate created from stone and demon.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)21:01 No.1810388

    If you only knew the rest of the campaign...

    Suffice it to share some highlights:
    -Bard once grappled an Octopus, after battle, rolled Bardic Knowledge to find out if it was as good for the Octopus as it was for him.
    -Bard once used perform, rolled a Nat. 20, so DM says the WHOLE village is watching him. I pickpocket some audience members, only to fail & get a guard. The Sword Sage kills him & we save his body parts for later
    -At one point, we're fighting a hob goblin. The party wants to start causing Non-Lethal damage so they can interrogate him. I wanted him dead, so just as I go to kill him, the ENTIRE party rolls trip checks, as I go down, I fire my crossbow anyway, only to miss & let it get away.
    -I've shot the ranger 'accidently' a good dozen times or so...
    -I re-rolled a Dread Necro, since the Sword Sage plays the rogue anyway. He's gotten EVERY chest we've found, broken open every door by borrowing the Ranger's shield & gem of hardness & smashing away, and once triggered a whole room of traps by getting assists from the rest of the party & ran around like an idiot, dodging them all.
    -The cleric keeps me in-line by threatening to turn all my undead if I turn on the party.
    -When I bring out the dungeon's BBEG(A Hydra), the sword sage throws me on top & tells me to cleave off the heads. I didn't actually have the ability to cleave, or even the proficiency to wield my axe, so he gets pissy & just weeaboo-mary-sue smashed the hydra.

    I swear I'm going to kill the fucking guy soon... I figure I'll bribe the ranger & wizard, and tell the druid he either helps me or I rape his forest... Then the Warblade should side with us out of fear of death. I think we can take the Sword sage, cleric & paladin.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)21:02 No.1810391
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    >Combat consisted of putting items together in weird combinations to turn the tides of battle. A lot of plans involved intricate pulley systems and showers of alchemical items.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)21:04 No.1810409

    If I recall correctly, the cleric is played by a jesusfag who actually wrote JESUS in his Deity section on the char. sheet.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)21:04 No.1810413
    I once played in a homebrew game where a guy decided to make a robot character called Gunbot. He was basically a policebot who's player was a jackass that tried to kill people for the most minor lawbreaking. Oh, and he used guns.

    After he left our GM made up an NPC called Robopistol with guns for hands that was pretty awesome, though.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)21:05 No.1810418
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)21:08 No.1810438

    I think he's just a colossal faggot who was just trying to cram in more racial advantages than anyone deserves.


    He wasn't playing the saxophone at the time, he was, iirc, flying from a sailing ship to a nearby port when one of the characters who was actually interesting fired off some chaos magic. As I recall, it manifested a big cloud of bees that were actually comming OUT OF the saxophone. They stung the shit out of his wings and he dropped like a rock.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)21:14 No.1810469

    What is it with you and vampires, crippleraper?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)21:18 No.1810486
    Zel was the exception.
    Name me one other human/golem/demon/whatever Zel was that wasn't total faggotry?
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)21:54 No.1810625
    Evil clerics can't spontaneously heal
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)22:18 No.1810739
    Don't forget all the flaws he took for experience bonuses that he RPed away as just part of his INTENSE hatred of evil.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)22:33 No.1810797
    bump for the most hilarious shit i've ever seen
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)22:39 No.1810821

    Zelgadis was awesome because he was an engineer, not because he wasn't an angsty faggot of a bishie.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)23:31 No.1810951
    A chain-smoking fighter. His only redeeming quality was that, when he was disarmed by the BBEG, he used his last cigarette as an improvised weapon and nailed him right in the eye. It gave him just enough time to throw a final punch before getting vorpalsword'd to death.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)23:33 No.1810957
    Of course not, but yet whatever he was would fall under angsty faggot bishie with just about any other character.
    Thus he is the exception to the half/half/half thing.
    >> Anonymous 05/24/08(Sat)23:57 No.1811007

    Okay, you've got a sunrod, a ten-foot pole, a disguise kit, and a container of kerosene. GO.
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)00:14 No.1811068
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    Here you go.
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)00:22 No.1811112
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    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)00:23 No.1811116

    Hmm... Anon delivers?


    Newfag at D&D... im thinking max stats in craft and perhaps high dexterity and intelligence?
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)00:40 No.1811203

    That refers to this.
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)01:03 No.1811371
    Female Tiefling paladin, general angst, used it in every setting, resulted in me playing chaotic dickish, he even used it in an underwater campaign which until he joined I didn't know he was involved in which would of caused even more conflict with my Waterspawn
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)01:43 No.1811638

    I had a character named General Angst, once. I didn't know what it meant at the time, though, so I guess that's excusable.

    Plus, he didn't really have any rank in the military. He just claimed it, like... like I would imagine a squatter would claim a building that isn't really there, and no one would ever tell him otherwise. Not because they were afraid of him. It was closer to "This will take too long to explain."
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)01:46 No.1811664
    By any chance, was the girl named Meredith?
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)02:55 No.1812085
    Bump for awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)02:59 No.1812107
    My friend attempted to make a half elf, half TREE ranger. He spoke Common, Elven, and Treelish.
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)03:00 No.1812114

    But which was the mother, and which was...?

    Oh. Oh dear.
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)03:01 No.1812121
    yeah, we had to sit him down and give him a nice long talking to.
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)03:03 No.1812128

    Cant say worse but its kinda bad.
    A half-orc cleric with shitty wisdom. Name was Xemnoc the Deathbringer. I lol'd before I realized the future sessions would not end well.
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)03:39 No.1812298
    I don't know, I can see one of those tree-huggers just taking things a little too far when she's in the mood and it has a branch just the right shape...
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)03:44 No.1812318

    The mechanics of that is mind boggling, but hey, it's D&D.
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)03:44 No.1812320

    Whats the matter? Haven't any of you guys played Knights of Xentar?
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)03:46 No.1812325
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)04:01 No.1812407
    we did a game of all flesh must be eaten set in the wild west. We had the classic:
    dude out for unspecific revenge (guy named him clint eastwood)only female in the group played a visiting English feminist. battle cry was "for estrogen and the Queen!". I had a disillusioned priest, fightan zombies with a winchester, it was fucking metal. Then my friend decided to roll a gay alter boy who dual weilded candlesticks.then a bunch more uninteresting characters.
    At some point after escaping the town we were hoping to join up with the cavalry. The dialogue upon finding their trail was fantastic
    "You find the tracks of a large animal in the sand"
    *party falls silent contemplating what to do next*
    "what like a whale?"
    *facepalms all around*
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)04:09 No.1812438
    bump for epicness that is Bajor. i lol'd fucking hard
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)04:55 No.1812611

    Someone needs to put that all together, to save it for future generations.
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)05:38 No.1812819
    Bajor shall become the patron diety of all fa/tg/uys.
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)05:49 No.1812879
    Hell, screw that, we need a drawfag to give us a rendition of Bajor in a deity pose, with a handfull of shit in one hand, and a warhammer with a baby's crushed remains stuck to it in the other
    >> Anonymous 05/25/08(Sun)05:52 No.1812884
         File :1211709150.jpg-(41 KB, 330x367, 1210552922734.jpg)
    41 KB
    FUND IT!

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