Back in 2nd edition, the heroes had reached past level 20. They were throwing down with demigods and devil lords, so I decided I needed something special to screw with them. So the Nine Hells had a surprise for them.After feeding them a false set of info that said they could ambush a Lord of the Nine, they set it up so that they instead blundered into a portal. This portal lead right to the Tarrasque's lair and it had just woken up. Boy, was it hungry.

The PCs had to fight through a few legions of Hell to get there, so they were running low on gas as it was. It wasn't a TPK, though only one person got away, and with about 14 HP out of 100 left.

It was in cave, but we lured it out with some charmed bugbears and it ran over some enchanted shields and died, quite the anti-climax.

Short epic level campaign. Balor riding a tarrasque.

I left before we rolled initiative.

>>1893492
You're a fucking pussy.

>>1893492

What the fuck? That sounds fucking awesome.

>>1893519
You're the reason 4e is the way it is.

I can't remember the name of the module, but I think it was something like "How The Mighty Are Fallen". It was the one that bridged the gap between the D&D and AD&D rulesets. The campaign involved the players cutting a gland out of the Tarrasque so it could be used as a spell componant for a 12th (yes 12th) level spell. The spell ended up tearing the Weave and making the game the way it was up until 3rd edition.

>>1895330
An official module? With a Tarrasque?

Oh boy...

>>1895330
I think I remember some gossip about that, but without internet and living in a god's forgotten place, I had no means to look or play it.

can you remember the name of the module?

I played a game once at around level 15. The scenario was that a massive hulking beast had been seen lurking in sandstorms out in the desert. Research had revealed that the Tarrasque had been slain long ago by the heroes of yesteryear so we figure its an oversized dragon and prepare for that.

Much to our chagrin it was indeed the tarrasque. Only it had the Living Fossil template applied to it.

Utopian city ruled by a mage-ocracy. Everyone was fed and had a jobs, all was well. The source of the free food was The Tarrasque, kept submerged and docile through drowning damage, and constantly butchered for free meat for the entire city. Good times.

I only encounter the thing when the DM wants to kill us all off.

>>1895586

go back to rpg.net you stupid faggot. at least if you're going to steal their ideas you should say where you got them from you retarded piece of shit.

The tarrasque was at the very end of the World's Largest Dungeon by AEG. If you could get past the motherfucker you could get out.

>>1895799
http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?t=261519

"Once apon a time a nation decided to end the threat of the tarrasque once and for all. An army was assembled, led by the greatest heroes of the age. Most importantly, a number of powerful magical weapons were created for the battle. The monster was lured into a tight canyon and the battle began.

"At terrible cost, the tarrasque was defeated. But not slain. It was impaled by fourteen Immovable Harpoons (like an immovable rod, but spikey), each attached to a thick adamantine chain sunk deep into the canyon walls by magic. The tarrasque was restrained.

"A fortress was built around the tarrasque, to watch over it. Every day it's watchers hack away at the tarrasque with powerful magic weapons to keep it weakened in case of escape. Even so, there are casualties as they misjudge its reach, or as it's angry thrashing causes rockfalls...

>>1895825


"Of course, being a powerful magical crearture, the tarrasque's blood, flesh and other body parts have certain useful properties. A side effect of keeping the tarrasque imprisoned like this was a neverending supply of powerful magical components. A city grew up around the fortress to house the various wizards, scholars and alchemists that came to exploit the tarrasque's bounty. Eventually, it was almost as if the neverending stream of tarrasque blood, flesh and bone was more important than imprisoning the beast itself."</i>

I'm picturing decadant nobles made immortal by their continuued consumption of tarrasque flesh. Warrior-butchers wielding vorpal greatswords to hack away at the tarrasque and channels cut into the stone underneath the beast to channel the valuable blood away. The tarrasque's distant screams and roars would be a continuous background noise for the people in the city, with "tarrasque-quakes" common. Almost an industry of ludicrously expensive magic items crafted from its body parts - tarrasquehide armour, tarrasquebone spears and potions and other alchemical miscellania of course.

You could play up the creepiness of the whole thing, maybe eating the flesh and blood of the tarrasque has unwanted side-effects. I'm thinking of tarrasque blood being analogous to the spice from dune - in this city the blood's used in just about everything and it has unusual effects on the populous.

>>1895830


Even with the tarrasque mostly restrained, getting close isn't a good idea and there'll be pretty frequent casualties amongst the butchers. Because of its reflective carapace, mnagic is a no go so it has to be someone getting in close with a big knife. Every now and then the chains will need to be re-planted to make sure they've not been loosened by the tarrasque's thrashing about - what fun that'll be.

And there's the whole hubris angle - maybe the pressure to cut away more and more of it lets it pull free of one or more of the immovable harpoons. And an inevitable tarrasque-worshipping cult that is covertly planning to free their god.

And if you want to play up the "tarrasque as force of nature" thing, maybe its imprisonment is throwing the natural order of things out of whack. The tarrasque is a necessary part of the ecosystem and plays "natural predator" to something really nasty. Without the tarrasque killing off the nasties every X years they've had time to grow into their adult, even nastier form.

I mean, come on; a fortress built around a chained godzilla who's constantly being butchered is dripping with adventure hooks and just plain cool.

>>1895830
While that sounds pretty awesome, I am forced to mention that this only works with the Tarrasque being kept unconscious, and there would therefore be no roaring.

>>1895845

with enough immovable harpoons you wouldn't care if it was awake or not

Ive actually been working on adapting it, and changing somethings around. Either way, its a great base, especially if you dont bring it up for a while but drop subtle hints.
Best part is that Big T isnt your enemy and that your trying to free him.

We had a dungeon with a tarrasque in it once. It was asleep, but we accidentally woke it up on the way out. We were level 10. We fucking RAN. Druid cast Entangle, and the DM made a shitty roll against it, so we got away, but I swear, we all saw our character's lives flash before their eyes.

My very first game of D&D, way back in 3.0. We were level 1 characters, and I noticed that the map included a 5' hole which was obviously for a secret room. We found the entrance and went in. In the room was the tarrasque.

The fighter was the only one who couldn't figure out that it was an illusion, so we had to pretend that we defeated it and he was safe now.

>>1895825
>>1895830

...that's fucking AWESOME.

How does an immovable rod work, anyway?

>>1895980
you press a button, and all of a sudden NOTHING can move it. It can withstand something like ten thousand pounds of force before it budges an inch.

>>1896021
...I'm pretty sure the Tarrasque can apply 5 tons of force, actually.

>>1895980
CLANG!

... what the fuck was that?

>>1896027

Thats why you use several of them, and large adamantine chains. Either way, its a plot devise, so you man just declare mega-immovable rods that take a ton to move each.

the first campaign my friends and i played, we didn't understand things like the treasure is total, not per player. we ended up HORRIBLY over geared and it got to the point where nothing could challenge us unless it was strong enough to 1-shot us. so we fought the tarrasque at level 11 to end the campaign. we were winning until the DM remembered it has a reflective carapace.

>>1896027

not necessarily. you really need some freaking sweet leverage to move it even a little bit. if you get enough of them then it wouldn't have enough leverage to push any of them around.

>>1896145
Yeah, having 14 rods in the right position would require Big T to exert (14x10k) 140,000 pounds of force to even twitch.

>>1895799
Never been there. I guess it's blasphemy to think that two people could think of two similar ideas. I mean, out of 5.7 billion people, it's unconscionable that two people could think the same thing ever!

>>1896119
Yeah. One ton isn't gonna do it.
10,000lbs=5 tons

>>1896189
Immovable rods do not work that way

>>1896258
I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the CLANG

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

>>1896272
I SAID IMMOVEABLE RODS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY HUMAN MEAT BAG!

>>1896227

Yeah, just change the numbers.

And its all about placement. I might be able to bench press 200 pounds, but what am i going to do if I have 200 pinning each arm, each leg, one on my chest. Sure I can move 200 pounds, but that would suck to escape from

Is there such thing as a half Tarrasque? I know that there can only be one full Tarrasque, but they have half every other fucking thing.

So what about the fact that, in 3.5, a Hellfire Warlock with a 1-level dip in binder and a 1-level dip in marshal can easily cheese the Tarrasque by staying aloft with Fell Flight and then spamming eldritch blasts that auto-beat spell resistance each and every round to outpace the beast's regeneration 40? I'm finally glad they prevented that from happening in 4.0 by giving the Tarrasque an actual Earthbinding Aura, but that was a bit of a lame and arbitrary cop-out, because they could've just given the abomination a much more awesome jumping bite or something like that.

There are no good Tarrasque encounters. Running into one is like jumping the shark.

My DM occasionally threatens us with the tarrasque whenever we start to do shit he doesn't like.

I don't mean, start playing well enough to beat things with CRs four levels higher than us, I mean things like abandoning the story to go look for the deck of many things.

>>1896209

pretty much. but not blasphemy so much as pure, utter failure on your part. oh yeah, and you're a lying piece of shit.

Not just an economy, but an entire way of life... a culture, dependent upon the imprisonment and vivisection of an immortal being.

What if this is history repeating itself? Long, long, long ago, the tarrasque was captured, just as now, and only escaped (levelling the city in the process) after the nobles became so corrupted by the beast's blood that they got stupid and sloppy.

The former nobles, their home destroyed, became savage nomads. Over generations they've grown even more monstrous.

What they called themselves then has been lost to history.

Now, all know them as trolls

Another idea for a tarrasque-based adventure:
The PCs are fairly low-level. They are summoned in front of the Duke, who tells them that he has received news that the Beast of the End of Days is awake, and heading for their city. However, he has an idea.
His court wizards have enchanted a pebble so that the tarrasque will wish to be near it at all times. They must take it to the enemy city, and drop it somewhere in the centre, preferably down a well. The tarrasque's looking for it will do the rest. When the tarrasque eats the pebble, it will act normally until it goes back to sleep- but it will be in the middle of the enemy city!

Looks like a win-win situation. Destroy your enemies, and save your city. However, there's one problem- once the PCs pick up the pebble, the tarrasque will be chasing them. It moves at an average of just over 30 feet per round, and it never stops. They have a sizeable head start, but there are obstacles...

This is a really, amazingly cool idea. Incidentally, from the AD&D 2e MM:

"Legend says that a great treasure can be extracted from the tarrasque's carapace. The upper portion, treated with acid and then heated in a furnace, is thought to yield gems (10d10 diamonds of 1,000 gp base value each). The underbelly material, mixed with the creature's blood and adamantite, is said to produce a metal that can be forged by master dwarven blacksmiths into 1d4 shields of +5 enchantment. It takes two years to manufacture each shield, and the dwarves aren't likely to do it for free."

So that's ~55,000 gp worth of gems and ~67000 gp worth of magical items per 1d6 minutes, assuming the carapace regenerates totally within 1d6 minutes.

>>1896601

Throw pebble into planar portal, shall we say.. the plane of Positive Energy?

Tarrasque gone for good?

What would be a valuable commodity in Tarrasquesville? What would the citizens get paid in? What could an enemy bribe them with?
Fruits and vegetables. The staple food is Tarrasque meat, and the land is too infertile and dry to support farming. Grains can be bought cheaply, but an apple is a rare treat.

Holy crap, what if you have crops of corn watered with frickin' Tarrasque blood!?

I love this idea so very very dearly.

>>1896209
>out of 5.7 billion people
Your statistics are about 10 years off, dude. It's at 6.6 billion

just for the record, can someone post that thing's stats?

http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/tarrasque.htm

>>1896675

stats= yer mom

>>1896484

3.5 Warlocks being uber cheese? Say it ain't so!

Ok, so the rods MIGHT work on THAT Tarrasque...

But I'd like to see them try that with a Spellwarped 30-headed Half-fiend Pyro-Tarrasque of Legend.

WotC designed one solely with 30 heads. They were going to add templates but the half-fiend one alone would have given it a caster level of over 100. Combined with a round 1 Blasphemy, and suddenly everything in a fuckhuge radius is a masticated corpse.

But even without the other templates, the 30-h Tarrasque has 90 attacks per round - 60 of which are instantly fatal to anyone who can't save vs massive damage.

So no such things as half tarrasque?

>>1897010
Some dragon must've tried at some point.

>>1897100
The tarrasque is a Unique monster, so it would be senseless to make a Half Tarrasque template.

>>1897476
I think you meant "The Tarrasque is a sterile monster."

>>1897792 The female Tarrasque is a timid creature the size of a large horse, therefore rendering Tarrasque mating moot.

>>1897844
If it's not sterile, then a human or a dragon can find a way to fuck it. The state of its females doesn't matter.

now, see, threads like this are why I COME to /tg/!

Ok, let's say you spellwarped the Tarrasque over several millenia, and then grafted a dragon penis on it (or wished it a gender). Could you restrain it with giant tethers and then jack it off over and over, collecting the semen, and using it to inseminate goats and warthogs and elves?

>>1897912

OH JESUS MAKE THE PAINFUL MENTAL IMAGE STOP

>>1897865

I did that to my lvl 7 players once. Sleeping balloon tarrasque.

Player 1: I shoot it down
Player 2: WHAT!? Don't do it!
I roll knowledges
Me: You all realize what that is, and that it is a perfect engine of destruction.
Player 1 looks at player 2 "If we weren't supposed to kill it, it wouldn't be around"
Player 2 "I try to stop him"... he fails

*Twang*
*thud*
Tarrasque roars
*death*
Player 1: Oh come ON what the fuck? That was WAY too hard for us.
Me: This is not a spoon fed mmo. Sometimes you gotta just leave shit alone.


tldr; I quit gming for a lame group.

>>1897912

It still doesn't have any functioning testicles. And it probably can't crossbreed with any species ever.

>>1897938

>>1897912
>>1897938
>>1897950
*fap* *fap* *fap*

http://youtube.com/watch?v=JHtht5T4PMk

>>1897912

I thought that it was fucking funny.

>>1897984

Funny? FUNNY?!

HALF-TARRAQUE ELVES ARE NOT, I repeat: NOT FUNNY.

I bet they are hung like a horse, though...

>>1898012

Ok, hilarious then.

... The girls too?

Makes you wonder though, if the Tarraque couldn't be tamed that way. Real life lions and gorillas who would normally fuck up anything in their enclosure, are utterly docile when they have been jacked off by gene-collectors over time. Some of them even go so far as to lay prone when their keeper comes near and completely relax.

Now imagine big T doing that.

"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR! ROOOOOOOOAR! ROAR? ROAR! R-R-R-R-R...

R-R-R-R-R-R.....

R!

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!"

>>1898031

Sweet zombie jesus...my poor mind's eye...

>>1897912
I was speechless for a good two minutes after reading this. I mean my jaw literally went slack and all I could do was stare in horror.

>>1898031


OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD MAKE IT STOP

>>1897946
If COLOSSAL BATWINGED LIZARDS can fuck anything humanoid, I don't see why they couldn't extend their magical breeding powers to the Tarrasque. Polymorph, motherfucker. If you can't transform one, you transform the other.

>>1898031

We have to take scale into consideration as well. I'm thinking it would be sort of a vigorous hugging motion.

Tarrasque/Halfling.

>>1898089

I'm picturing a group of halflings all clinging to it and...

Wow, that's hot.

I think the sheer determination of humans to breed with every species possible could make a hybrid Tarraque possible.

Ok, let's work this out. We restrain the Tarrasque, polymorph it into a dragon somehow, WISH it was fertile (to negate its sterility), jack it off and collect its genetic seed, and then knock up some woodland critters and halflings.

SOUNDS LIKE AN ADVENTURE TO ME!

>>1898139
I find it hilarious that you're treating halflings the same as animal test subjects.

We fought some Shadow copy of the Tarrasque on the Negative Energy plane.

It totally fucking raped us.

>>1895830
>>1895825

...But the Tarrasque turned out to be more powerful, its aura more pervasive than anyone anticipated. Removing flesh and blood and bone for magic items and life-prolonging potions effectively meant there was more Tarrasque in the world every day. Once in a while a noble in Tarrasque plate would notice that it seemed to squirm...but sure he was imagining that. Did his Tarrasque-bone spear just twitch? Mere imagination.

Then one day a critical mass was reached. There was so much Tarrasque in the world that from the one living, imprisoned one in the castle its influence reached out. Nobles in Tarrasque plate transformed. Kings drunk on Tarrasque-blood immortality potioned changed. Stockpiles of Tarrasque weapons flowed together.

Then there were more Tarrasques. Little ones, some no bigger than men, but hundreds, THOUSANDS of them throughout Tarrasqueville and elsewhere. Even single Tarrasque-bone swords, arrows, shields inched along the ground, killing blindly.

All all of the Tarrasques were eating.

Growing.

>>1898180

Not as hot as the whole tarrasque milking plan...

>>1898180
AND THE ONLY HOPE FOR HUMANITY IS AN ANGSTY YOUNG BOY AND HIS GIANT ROBOTIC MONSTER MOTHER.

>>1898153

Think about it: backpack-sized Tarraqsues! D'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!

Well, it is possible that the tarrasque just has a proportionately tiny penis...

Especially once we graft it so.

TARRASQUE SKIN CONDOMS

RIBBED FOR HER PLEASURE

NOTHING CAN PENETRATE

What would be the stats on a half tarrasque?

>>1898240

I see where you are comming from. We give it a tiny penis and colossal balls. So one would only have to exert minimal effort to achieve maximum result! Of course this thing would litterally cum around 1000 gallons of load...so a bucket brigade would need to be hired. As well as a means of storage, unless of course an entire village-worth of females were lined up to get themselves topped off.

come to think of it... we haven't any Tarrasque rule 34...

>>1898249

Hokay, thread just jumped the shark. Moving on.

>>1898263

You are my new favorite person.

>>1898249
+16 Str
+8 Con
+4 Dex
-4 Int
+2 Wis
-2 Cha

>>1898289
+12STR for female.

>>1898210
Tarraqsuestown gets turned into tang?

>>1898292
I thought we were done with this crap?

>>1898294
Where do you think they get their amazing regenerative abilities?

>>1893431
we ran into the thing on a chance roll. Sadly we had a sorcerer who used finger of deat on the thing. our Dm rolled a one on its will save. A party of three sixth level charater got lucky and killed the thing. We pray to our god to keep it dead. Which god answered, but then later we ran into a umbral tarresque. Tarresque+incorporeal=total destruction of players

>>1898263
Storage could be done by some druids with the Chill Metal spell (Or wizards with cold spells) and a large metal cistern, Metal tubes could also be run through the inside of it and ice water could be run through it.

>>1898313

Finger of Death is a 7th level spell, right? And the Tarrasque is immune to death effects, I thought. Plus, targeted spells are reflected back on the caster, aren't they?

>>1898313
>>Sadly we had a sorcerer who used finger of deat on the thing

Spell immunity

>>1898327
Though thinking about it, You could probably get away with a warehouse full of buckets of the stuff and a bunch of ice.

>>1898334
yeah well our DM is a ditz. He lost a battle using a great wyrm black dragon, to a group of level fifteen charaters. So if you know a good DM looking for players i have about five of us who want a better Dm

What in the fuck is going on in this thread?!

>>1898376
billnyescience.jpg

Does anybody know of where I can find stats for a Tarrasque in Savage Worlds? I think I'm going to add a bunch of crackpot magic users running around and knocking things up with the aforementioned plan into the game I'm running.

>>1898289
Changed to:
+2 STR
+2 CON

Balanced for 4E.

PHALLIC SPEAR (EX): The Tarrasque's phallus is as hard and unbreakable as an ancient redwood. The gnarled penis is "marked by the screaming faces of the creature's thousands of victims. The creature's great size allows its Phallic Spear to deal impossible, terrifying amounts of damage, and strike foes from great distances.

The Tarrasque's penis is riddled with eyes, allowing it to nimbly navigate corners and around obstacles in search of its prey. The Tarrasque's combat penis ignores anything less than full cover when hunting prey, but can be baffled by concealment.

>>1898511
Wow... fuck spellcasting, time to reroll

>>1898511

Mighty fuck, WHY?!

>>1898522
it's for when you must ABSOLUTELY PENETRATE THE TARGET

>>1898536

Or when you're hoping someone writes godawful rapefic off a post.

>>1898539
you'll tap everything, guaranteed, or your monster penis is FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
*infomercial shiny teeth smile*

>>1898511
>The Tarrasque's combat penis ignores anything less than full cover when hunting prey, but can be baffled by concealment.

That could get Scooby Doo pretty quickly...

Shaggy runs panicked, rips a theater curtain, falls over phallic spear, spear flails around with Shaggy hanging on for dear life.

>>1898511
>The gnarled penis is "marked by the screaming faces of the creature's thousands of victims.

FOR HER PLEASURE!

>>1898569
>>spear flails around with Shaggy hanging on for dear life

oww... my brain... the pain...

I bet is the Tarrasque did have a penis, it would be a toothy maw imbedded in a chittinous pillar of flesh.

Huh. This thread began as a simple enough question about adventures involving the Tarrasque. And here we are, 12hrs later, discussing a method on how to give the thing a penis, molest it, and illegally impregnate halflings and goats.

/tg/. We get things done.

/tg/: they liek monstrous cawk.

>>1898511

The single greatest tragedy of this decade would be if this was not drawfag'd.

I can only wish taht someone is screencapping this.

>>1898802
Somebody submitted it to the archive.

Tarrasque penis = rare regenerating spell componant/delicasy.

Tarrasque penis: greater wondrous item.

>>1898589
shaggy and scoob run through one door, penis follows

shaggy and scoob exit out another door, penis follows

shaggy and scoob wind up chasing the penis, penis realizes, turns around,

shaggy and scoob run in other direction, penis is tied in a knot, eyes look initially shocked, then angry.

I did. We had to create a complicate ritual to put it back to nothingness (it had been evoked by your trusty crazy wizard). It was the final encounter, from ashes to glory, from 1 to 21 level.

Funny thing is we didn't actually fight the old T, the ritual and the cannon fod... ehr, the united armies of free races kept it at bay before the final farewell. But the ritual had a side effect, of course...

>>1899152

You've put alot of thought into this, haven't you?

>>1899198

you are a faggot.... how have you not realized this thread is about Tarrasque penis now.

In addition to all the methods of gendering the Tarrasque, are we considering ALL material available on the market? Or would this universe also consider "The Book Of Erotic Fantasy" as canon? Because that alone is a vast untapped wealth of data.

>>1899226

If you start talking about rolling for anal circumferance, this thread is over.

Some BBEG was out to take over a couple of countries or some such goofyness. We learned that he was off somewhere attempting to bring a few dragons into it and start doing some real damage, but the few encounters we'd had with the guy ended with us in trouble and him getting away, and we didn't know where he was exactly. But we did know that several days earlier he had sent the Tarrasque wandering over the land toward this city. It was quite obvious that it was there to delay our group/kill us because we had ample warning of its coming and it seemed that there was no reason that it couldn't have just appeared in the city in the first place.

So we picked some open area just before a small village close to the city and it took 6 heavily geared up 20th level PC's of us to beat it, but in the end, we managed to pull it off (I think without anyone dying). And I think we had just about no resources left at the end, like out of potions spells and healing all around. And it really seemed too that if we had lost anyone at any point then we would have lost the fight because we needed as much help as we could get and everyone was helping just about everyone else along at multiple points.

And I think the monster was a tad tougher than the MM version since it didn't take Toughness for every freaking feat.

close to the end of a two year long campaign we ran into one.

The setting was that we were a select group that were picked to go into a wizard's dungeon which had never been completed before. I think the thing had like, 29 different levels involving damn near everything

>>1899226

Just checked the BoEF and it says that aberrations only live to eat, sleep and fuck. But since the Tarrasque doesn't have a gender (yet), most of this is useless. But I wonder, can an animal that's been neutered still be eroused? Because that would be a great way to distract it in battle.

>>1899247

Thats F.A.T.A.L. though.

BoEF is d20.

So stupid.

Even if big T doesn't have a wang, he can still suck one.

>>1897912
I'd collect the cum and then host a party for a crowd of young women whom I would then shower with the cum.

What happens if you fertilize plants with its cum?

>>1900039
And in Japan they would be bowing in the streets if you walked by.

im not a d&d fag, so hopefully this post doesnt make anyone rage. but what exactly is this tarrasque i keep hearing about. what makes it meaner then say, a fuck huge dragon, or an army of skeletons and a lich.

>>1900129
It's invincible and perfectly legal.

>>1900129
Try making something with Regeneration 40 fall below -30HP, after which you must cast Wish or higher to keep it dead.

>>1900129
Look at the picture. It's basically Godzilla, without a horrible breath weapon but with a bunch of other shit that makes it incredibly hard to kill and incredibly good at killing anyone else.

>>1899527
wat

>>1900129

But unlike Godzilla, Tarrasque has an epic, adamantium-hard, prehensile penis covered in eyes, with a gaping pair of jaws at the end of it with no less than 13 rows of razor sharp fangs.

>>1900319
also note this penis is not attached, an epic hero of old managed to separate it from its master with his artifact sword that stopped the beast from regenerating its limbs spontaneously. Even though the hero had such a horrific weapon and had cut off one of the legs of the Tarrasque he still fell to his fate. The Tarrasque after ate the foe and his sword reattached his severed leg but could not find his penis. It had taken on a life of its own and roams the world much like its owner. The Tarrasque searches for it to this day.

>>1900319

I find it only pertinent that should one mention said beast's astounding genitilia, that it be followed by a description of its massive pair of testicles.

Tucked tightly against the Tarrasque's underside, and resembling two keg-sized mounds of flesh, is the aforementioned scrotum. Unlike most males, whos genitals dangle, the Tarrasque's does not freely hang from its abdomen. It is surely an adaptation of the creature to keep them from snagging on treetops as it rampages throughout the countryside.

When eroused, the mounds pulse rythmically, and their temperature increases ten-fold. Upon ejaculation, the testicles spasm and then tighten, sending scalding jets of putrid seed streaming at its victims. The semen itself can reach temperatures of up to 500 degrees on release, but perplexingly has a minty taste.

>>1900397
>>1900400
Okay, so does it still have balls, or did they get cut off, too?

>>1900421
I say they are internal

>>1900433
Testicles? In my Tarrasque?

Don't forget there is only one Tarrasque...per planet. So there are plenty of Tarrasques with wangs and sacs. Some get cut off and turn into sentient rape/beasts as mentioned above, and some stay attached to their owner and release torrents of lava-ish jizz.

Everyone is happy.

>>1900400
> minty taste

I wonder how much the wizard had to pay the wench to get her to do this...

>>1899527
>>1900039
>>1900077
>>1900319
>>1900400
>>1900421
>>1900433

I LEFT 6 HOURS AGO AND YOU FUCKS ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT TARRASQUE DICK?

...

(I love you /tg/)

>>1900473
Not much she was a whore.

>>1896801
Might as well add the Pseudonatural and Paragon Templates to the mix. Hell, lets make it phrenic too. and give it the half dragon and half celestial templates, so it is 3/2 rape. Why not, its a rape machine anyway, lets go all out.

So then We have a Spellwarped Pseudonatural Paragon Phrenic 30-headed Half-Fiend Half-Celestial Half-Dragon Tarrasque of Legend.

What else could we add to make it as much of a living ROCKS FALL as possible?


(also, which book is spellwarped from? Off the top of my head I do not remember that one, or what the 'of legend' part of his name indicates)

>>1895330
>The campaign involved the players cutting a gland out of the Tarrasque so it could be used as a spell componant for a 12th (yes 12th) level spell. The spell ended up tearing the Weave...

If the Tarrasque's pituitary gland could be used to cast a spell equivalent to "Obliterate" in M:tG, imagine what its marble sack could be used for!

>>1900532
Too many goddamn "Half-"'s

I CAME

>>1900532
What would the penis look like on that monstrosity?

>>1900545
See
>>1898511

>>1900536
It would be able to create a whole new multiverse!

>>1898139
>>1898263
A chink in this plan is the Tarrasque's individual sperm are probably the size of dinner plates. A family could dine off one tarrasque sperm for any meal...

My DM ran an epic level game (25th) where we had to gain the help of a Blue (full leveled Blood Scaled Fury prestige class) Dragon and fight a Terrasque to keep it from devouring the continent. Epic wins were had.

>>1900611
So when it pops its cork its like some bastard combination of a canon and a shotgun?

>>1900532
add some more savage species to it, feral, flying, reptillian, insectile, pump it's dex up through the roof. and also boost it to perfect manuverability and 120 ft per round flight speed.
also some underdark and faerun templates for lulz.

And this, gentelemen, is a demonstration of the human drive to fuck EVERYTHING.

>>1900639
We don't want to fuck it ewww that would be bestiality.

We want to watch it fuck women which is HOT.

>>1900646
Pardno, me, the human drive to reproduce with EVERYTHING. Now, if you'll follow me to the /d/ gallery...

>>1900628
Danmaku.

>>1900665
So the only girls that could survive insemination from the Tarrasque are touhoes?

>>1900632
Which templates are you referencing for bug? The only bug template I know is swarm shifter from Libre Mortis

>>1900532
>So then We have a Spellwarped Pseudonatural Paragon Phrenic 30-headed Half-Fiend Half-Celestial Half-Dragon Tarrasque of Legend.
Half Fiend, Half Celestial, Half Dragon, ALL Tarrasque

>>1900750
It's a Tarrasque, it doesn't need your mathematical consistencies.

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 2 times now.

come on guys!

>>1900778
newfag

What happens if a tarrasque is brought down to -3000 or -30000 points? As in adventurers kill it and then keep on stabbing it and then bunch of butchers continually slice off any meat that regenerates, craftsmen carve up bones like lumber, any skin is cut up for tanning into leather, any scales turned into roofing shingles.

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 3 times now.

All you ignorant fa/tg/uys are all epically chatting about how to make this thing reproduce with something without blowing it to smithereens or melting it into tiny chunks... you guys are epic level characters! Make an Epic Enlarge spell and use Elemental Immunity, Fire, and leave the process of making a dick to the pros...

Oh, and I love you, /tg/.

>>1900821
^_^

come on guys! if we work together we can get this thread in the archives for other people to enjoy forever! Think of everyone else who could enjoy this thread later just as much as you and I are enjoying it now! TEAM-WORK TEAM-WORK TEAM-WORK! ;p

Attention /tg/. What I am about to present to you is perhaps the strongest being in the D&D multiverse. Keep in mind that (to my knowledge) the following build is legal within 3.5's ruleset...

30-headed, Arcane Blooded, Axiomatic, Corrupted, Entropic, Fiendish, Fire-souled, Hivenest, Poisonous, Psudonatural, Ravenous, Revived Fossil, Spell-stitched, Stoneboned, Swarmshifting Tarrasque.

I didn't bother typing up the CR or actual stats. But from all the abilities and bonuses that each template added, whatever planet this thing is on must be a barren fucking rock.

>>1900858

How big is its penis?

>>1900858
Gets beaten by a neutronium golem. Or a nexus dragon.