NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

>>2313548
...the future sucks.

>>2313548
YOU LIE

D:

You know I realize I've never heard reference to delicious ice cream treats in Warhammer 40k.

Holy shit. Grimdark.

>>2313557
it sucks, and everyone wears leather- with 80s hair

>>2313565
Why else do you think there is only war?

>>2313571
Because Horus broke the last ice cream dispensing machine?

>>2313569
>it sucks, and everyone wears leather- with 80s hair...dyed neon pink

>>2313581
The mark of a true Heretic.

Surely there's something that can make Milk in the 41st millennium, and presumably they have freezers and some kind of sugar, and if they have no Vanilla or Coco Beans there must be exotic alien fruits on the more verdant worlds of the Imperium.

There just gotsta be. Right?

Ice Cream is the only thing in the universe that could stop Grimdark

>>2313581
Or the Emperor took candy away, ensuring Horus, the pixie-stick twitchy twink little boy, had no more energy for his rave parties.

>>2313595
THAT'S IT

We need a chapter of Battle Brothers dedicated to bringing back the sweet joy of ice cream to stop the GRIMDARK

>>2313592

They could, but creating Ice Cream would anger the Machine God.

>>2313595
knights of ice cream vs. the 4 horses of grimdark?

yeah, actually that would suck as a campaign

>>2313609
Rhino conversions NOW.

>>2313612
Surely the machine god would understand, it would make its followers happy.

>>2313615
METAL BOXES


That have theme songs.

We need to revive the ancient sect of Candymancers, not seen for tens of thousands of years.

>>2313609
>>2313615
>>2313628
By god, do it!

>>2313592
Ever tried grox milk? Thought so. You wouldn't be blurting out such a humungous heap of bullshit if you had ever tried grox milk.

Ice cream made from Tau milk, in turn... HOLY DELICIOUS CAKE! I MUST EAT! EEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

>>2313548
wait wait wait...

...maybe the Golden Throne is an ice cream maker?

>>2313548

>>2313661
BY THE HOLY THRONE ITSELF, THAT MUST MEAN THE EMPEROR IS AN ICE CREAM MAKER HIMSELF

If there is no ice cream in the grim darkness of the future, does this mean there is no frozen yogurt?

>>2313661
>>2313666
This must be why we worship him!

>>2313669
But of course.

>>2313669
Pretty much.

Well, that must mean there aren't any twinkies, either.

>>2313649
So... can't we just kill the xenos and obtain the delicious milk?

>>2313682

>>2313669

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

>>2313682
THERE ARE NO MORE SWEETS

>>2313682
goddamnit horus.
he ruined everything.

>>2313685
Eldar Ice Cream.

...made from delicious Taldeer Milk.

>>2313685
I do believe that the Tau must be living to produce milk.

Just letting you know.
The Chaos gods make ice cream for their followers.

>>2313709
I wonder what a Slaaneshi ice cream would be like.

>>2313709

Does Khorne make blood flavoured ice cream?

>>2313720
Why yes, he does. It has delicious chewy bits in it here and there, also.
>>2313719
Don't know, I wouldn't touch it. Nurgle has delicious Rocky Road style ice cream.

>>2313719
Every flavour rolled into one? Taste and look a bit like shit I think.

>>2313720
Yes.
With sprinkles.
Except the sprinkles are fragments of skull.
Oh, and mind the coagulation.

>>2313725
>Don't know, I wouldn't touch it. Nurgle has delicious Rocky Road style ice cream.


Made with real roads amirite?

>>2313719
Heresy Flavor

>>2313734
No, silly.
Made with real roadkill.

The ice cream truck! Destroy that and this is over! CHARGE!

In the grim darkness of the far future, there is Marmite.

I can't say much about the Lord of Change's ice cream flavor. Besides the fact that it changes every lick or bite you take of it. Once, it tasted like Khorne's good ol' strawberry special. Then it tasted like a charge of plasma.

>>2313737
Hot damn! Nothin' like real roadkill!

>>2313742

dude i fucking love marmite

>>2313699
Lobotomised milk servitors?

>>2313719
You don't quite eat Slaaneshi ice cream, you get deepthroated by it.

>>2313725
>>2313719
In Soviet Russia Slaaneshi Ice Cream touches you, with multiple dicks.

Just letting you know now. All Eldar ice cream is that diet, low fat shit. Don't eat it, ever.

>>2313745

That would be the most horrific, and awesome icecream in the world.

>>2313751
Drawfaggotry.
Nao.

THIS IS WHAT THE GRIMDARK FUTURE OF ICE CREAM LOOKS LIKE

>>2313760
...as long as it's made from delicious Taldeer milk, I'm for it.

Ork ice cream is poisonous because they cover it in red paint so that you can eat it faster and get back to fighting.

Oh, crap....no whipping cream either.

>>2313771

can love bloom in a food prossesor?

>>2313771
You have to pay for that kind of ice cream out the ass and every other orfices that cultists could only dream of.

>>2313784
>orifices
My bad, this ice cream is too delicious.

NEW MARINE CHAPTER:
Suavis Astartes

The Sweets Marines

>In the grim darkness of the far future, ice cream is weaponised.

>>2313793
They will be peppermint stick colored.

>>2313793
Do they sell candy and ice cream to any IG they meet? Even the Commissars?

>>2313811
they fight to regain the lost sweets technology in the form of artifacts.

They are also said to appear on battlefields to dispense candy to battle-weary IG.

SQUAD MORALE RESTORED.

>>2313793
This is a job for some sort of Techmarines - combing the universe in search of lost ice-cream producing STCs?

Then worshipping it and declaring anyone who wants to eat it a heretic...

>>2313811
Not grimdark enough. They go around and STEAL all the candy and icecream they can find, especially from small children.

Every so often they go into a sugar-rage, where they divert course and head towards the nearest agri-world and devour every last bit of sugar.

>>2313827
No tech marine, you are the heretic

And then the tech marine was lactose intolerant.

>>2313827
no, the Suavis Astartes allow all to partake in the delicious fruit of the Emperor's artifacts, but they must be consumed in moderation, lest your teeth be ridden with the foul plaque of chaos.

Then, your IG unit may suddenly find yourself visited upon by the Dental Marines.

Also, the Suavis Astartes and Dental Marines have a long-standing rivalry

>>2313842

But that's... not GRIMDARK at all...

>>2313832
ONLY A HERETIC WOULD STEAL THE EMPEROR'S BLESSING OF SWEETS!

FOUL CHAOS TAINTED TRAITORS!

Chaos Sweets Marines would steal, Suavis Astartes create.

It's pronounced "cold fun".

>>2313854
It's ice cream, the opposite of grimdark.

>>2313793

>>2313793
lol drawfag here.

>>2313854
IS IT REALLY???

Do you know that the human brain is the greatest source fo glucose in the human body?

WHERE DO YOU THINK ALL THE SUGAR IN THE IMPERIUM COMES FROM?

>>2313863
It's GRIMDARK if it's ICE CREAM and NO ONE can eat it.

>>2313858
Also, all Sweet Marine equipment and vehicles are made for mass crowd control, allowing them to take on the most hungry of customers. The Tyranids.

>>2313876
D:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wM-Mk26N6wQ

I'll just leave this here.

I think I may just buy a Rhino and convert it.

>>2313951
Make sure there is a little machine that plays the jingle. Or have something beside it that can play it. Loudly.

>>2313951
>>2313962
Just when I read these posts, an ice cream truck passed by my street.

>>2313962
I'll be sure to find that very annoying ice cream truck song and play it whenever I field the thing.

Even in the grim darkness of the future there is Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

First the Korne

>>2313964
The Sweets Marines are scooping out your place. There is heresy in your area.

Next Papa Nurgle

>>2313972
I lold

Does Tzeentch know why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

>>2313885
Diary Recovered from Damocles Gulf Campaign:

Emperor Preserve us. We were fighting the foul Tyranid swarms today. I've never seen such horror on the battlefield.

They ate our dead and wounded. For every soldier thy struck down, they were growing stronger, and we were becoming weaker. I was sitting in the trenches, holding my lasrifle closly, waiting for the next wave of foul beasts to descend upon us, muttering the littany of protection in hopes of gaining the Emperor's favor during his dark time.

The ground began to tremble, and I knew it was time. As I peered over the edge of the trench, I saw it. A huge behemoth. Surely, this was the Tyranid Carnifex.

It ran through our advancing ranks, scattering scores of guardsmen with ease, and shrugging of lasrifle blasts like droplets of water.

Then, I heard a strange sound. A musical, tinny tune from the skies. A caliope of sorts that reminded me of my childhood for some odd reason.

Then, in the sky, a flash appeared, followed by a dozen others. There was a great crash, and when the dust settled, I saw them.

The fabled Suavis Astartes.

They stepped out of their cone-shaped drop pods, and without a word produced a number of strange weapons I had never seen before.

Surely, the Emperor provides for his children!
They unleashed hell upon the Tyranid scourge that day, sending torrents of white goo into their ranks, causing them to slip and stumble, attempting to devour it.

Others launched globs of a thick, steaming deep brown substance at the carnifex, draping him in a tar like coat that held him firmly, while swarms of rippers attemped to devour it, becoming stuck themselves.

Thought for the day: The Emperor is true.

So what is the commie flavour ice cream of the Tau like, everyone gets their share but it tastes like nothing?

>>2313989
It is plain vanilla. But everyone can only have one scoop.

>>2313988
I love you, mysterious writefag.

>>2313988
I, too, love you.

>>2313999

And those fucking Ethereals get chocolate.

I seem to remember ice cream being mentioned in one of the Sandy Mitchell books, Scourge the Heretic maybe?

>>2314023
Not ice cream, it was freezy pops, I do believe

>>2313988
dammit, I had a whole second part typed up and got SQL_FAILS and lost it.

It basically described their white armor with red stripes and trim, and how they gave a lollipop to the commisar and he smiled.

I can't believe this thread got over 90 posts and none of these were reposted.

>>2314023

one of the Cain books I believe, Amberly explains it in one of the footnotes

>>2314036

>>2314034
Rewrite it, you know you want to.

>>2314034
Hit the back button until your post returns. Works for me.

They have ice lollys in the grimdark future, Just read a chapter in the Cain books were they talk about it

>>2314041
There's obviously more, but i don't feel like posting them all.

>>2314042
I will, eventually.

This was my first writefaggotry, and I'm at work, so it was done rather hastily.

A year back or so I imagined a post apocalyptic desert world propped up by the currency of ice cream. There would even be factions devoted to specific flavors. The Chocoholic Empire and Mintian Trade Republic and such.

It was grim and delicious.

>>2314041
Khorne's good ol' strawberry special, everyone loves it.

>>2314045
If he was using quick reply with the Firefox plugin, then it won't unfortunately.

>>2314056
I'm at work and use IE7 (not by choice).

For some reason, I always lose posts during an SQL failure.

I usually copy before I submit, but I forget sometimes.

>>2314061

>>2314070
I see no promotions in this thread.

>>2314344
I think he just wanted to sage something.