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  • File :1220938117.jpg-(170 KB, 800x600, DSCN6333.jpg)
    170 KB Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)01:28 No.2534387  
    ITT: All the forces of the 41st Millennium descend onto modern day Earth. Except they are only as large as their miniatures depict them to be. SPESS MAHRENE's are an inch tall, Monolith's barely come up to your ankle, Imperator Titans are the size of a van. And anything capable of Exterminatus miscalculated the gravity of Earth and crashed into a plot vortex.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)01:29 No.2534392
    I'd keep some orks and grots in a fish tank. It'd be awesome.

    And a pet Carnifex too. :3
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)01:30 No.2534396
    Necrons teleport onto people's heads and Flay their brains.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)01:31 No.2534398
    We would capture and enslave them all forcing them to fight one another in sick twisted proxy battles. As if it were all some big game.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)01:31 No.2534401
    I scream in terror as the orks swarm me like soldier ants and flay me alive.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)01:32 No.2534414
    Chaos Marines would be safest, because they're pointy and hard to pick up.
    But I'd totally keep a Tyrarrium.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)01:33 No.2534416
    >>2534398
    Poor, poor little Farseers. Imagine all the neckbeards "repainting them."
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)01:33 No.2534417
    >>2534398
    /thread
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)01:36 No.2534429
    >>2534416
    You know you'd want your cock served to by a cadre of naked 2 inch tall women.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)01:36 No.2534430
    What is OP's picture from? That's Jawesome.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)01:57 No.2534547
    Slaaneshi cultists: By the Lord of Excess! Everything upon this world is so . . . BIG . . . and these one's whom know who we are as big as a man! Slaanesh be praised!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)01:59 No.2534558
    Tyranids would take over all insect life and get bigger and bigger until they could wipe us out.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:14 No.2534616
    Various Space Navys would rape us...slowly.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:15 No.2534619
    >>2534616
    >And anything capable of Exterminatus miscalculated the gravity of Earth and crashed into a plot vortex.

    All fleets can conduct Exterminatus.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:17 No.2534628
    >>2534619
    Very, very slowly.
    I presume he meant Exterminatus-class weapons - high-yield virus bombs, cyclonic torpedoes, etc.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:20 No.2534634
    >>2534387
    where did they find a face big enough to rip the skin off and place on the side of that thing?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:20 No.2534638
    >>2534634
    they made the face out of a lotta people
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:29 No.2534692
    >>2534628
    All ships can conduct Exterminatus.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:30 No.2534701
    >>2534416

    oh the god...the ER is gonna get an influx of "lighting" fried dick injuries.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:31 No.2534706
    >>2534692
    Am I typing in Swahili? Did I use the clicking language?
    Not every ship HAS those weapons, bumblefuck.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:33 No.2534715
    >>2534692
    So you're saying that ever single cruiser, carrier, and cargo ship in the entirety of the Imperium, Warp, and every Xenos space fleet carries with it enough firepower to instantaneous destroy an entire planet?

    Also, thanks for being such a neckbeard as to jump in and ruin the joke for the sake of fluff accuracy.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:34 No.2534727
    >>2534706
    >>2534715


    no need to be so srs...this started out as a funny thread.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:36 No.2534732
    >>2534715
    It's a commonly known fact that even thunderhawks can conduct exterminus.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)02:36 No.2534735
    I'd buy a 50 gallon terrarium fill it with random landscaping and bullet proof plexy glass. Take about 100 orcs and about 200 tyrraniids place them on opposite sides of the tank, give them about a day to populate ( water them feed them) then take out the barrier and watch as both forces fuel eachothers war machine and enjoy an everlasting fun tank
    >> ANGRY INQUISITOR EPYNONYMOUS REX !!taqDd9490Ip 09/09/08(Tue)02:38 No.2534739
    Keep the Orks in a large enclosed pen. Make sure it has enough oxygen to support them, but filtered enough that spores don't escape.

    Let them fight and fight and fight, until you have one grow as large as a normal human, then set it loose on the world.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)02:39 No.2534747
    >>2534739
    Imagine the fun you'd have! Orcs and Nids Move the FUCK over Sea monkeys! These things kill eachother and NEVER stop
    >> ANGRY INQUISITOR EPYNONYMOUS REX !!taqDd9490Ip 09/09/08(Tue)02:41 No.2534755
    >>2534747
    If there are colossal bastard orks the size of titans, I'll be damned if I can get a Mini-sized ork to the size of a Human.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:41 No.2534757
    >>2534739
    And then, y'know, spores get out into the wild.

    And pretty soon we'll have ork exterminating services.

    "Greenskins ruining that perfect garden? Call 0800-EXTERMINATUS today!"
    >> ANGRY INQUISITOR EPYNONYMOUS REX !!taqDd9490Ip 09/09/08(Tue)02:42 No.2534759
    >>2534757
    You know It'll be awesome regardless.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:42 No.2534761
    >>2534747

    I'd carry Gladware tubs of Orks with me everywhere I went.

    "Sir, I'm afraid your Bloomin' Onion fell in the toilet. It's going to take another five minutes to get a new one out here."

    "Wotz dat?!"

    "Y-you could... speak to a manager if yo-"

    "MANAGE DIS YA TWIT! TWO TUBZ O' GREEN JUSHTICE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
    >> ANGRY INQUISITOR EPYNONYMOUS REX !!taqDd9490Ip 09/09/08(Tue)02:43 No.2534768
    Cut a bunch of SoBs and Grey Knights loose in a furcon.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)02:45 No.2534772
    >>2534757
    I can see the commercials now.

    Is that Ork WAAAGH ruing your beutiful garden?

    Got pesky Tyranidds gnawing away at your woodwork?

    Just Call Orkin, they have all the tools you need to get rid of your problems.

    Nids and Orkz want in, Orkin Purges them all.
    >> ANGRY INQUISITOR EPYNONYMOUS REX !!taqDd9490Ip 09/09/08(Tue)02:45 No.2534774
    ... What about mini kroot?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:45 No.2534776
    1) Paint yourself Green
    2) Introduce yourself as Gork and/or Mork
    3) ???
    4) WAAAAGGGHHH!!!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:46 No.2534781
    We'd still be telling everyone to thin their fucking paints.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:46 No.2534785
    >>2534776

    You don't have to paint yourself to look like an Ork, just make the Orks BELIEVE that you're an Ork and you'll fucking become one. Thus is the power of the WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)02:48 No.2534791
    OH MY GOD.. The Tau Are Tan
    The Imperial Guard are Green.

    They are shrunk down to their model size..

    Fucking Army men bitches!
    >> ANGRY INQUISITOR EPYNONYMOUS REX !!taqDd9490Ip 09/09/08(Tue)02:48 No.2534796
    >>2534785
    But even if you're Giant to them, You'll still look like a Humie. Thus the green paint to start the illusion.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:49 No.2534800
    Nobody can go to sleep anymore, because 40kers will kill you.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:49 No.2534801
    Capture Jeanstealer and give her a terranium with Barbie pants and a view of the TV.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)02:49 No.2534803
    >>2534796
    Just say you look like a 'umie to fool da o'er 'umies so yaz can SMASH em!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:49 No.2534804
    >>2534796

    UZ AIN'T A HUMIE IF YA GIT KRUMPIN REAL GUD AN ORKY!
    >> ANGRY INQUISITOR EPYNONYMOUS REX !!taqDd9490Ip 09/09/08(Tue)02:50 No.2534806
    We can't just abandon the Kroot either.


    I want som'a THEM in a tank! I'll feed them rats!
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)02:51 No.2534814
    Guys Cock fights.

    Get a partitioned glass tank. Fill it with forces of different factions. Release them on each other.

    Enjoy the fun
    >> ANGRY INQUISITOR EPYNONYMOUS REX !!taqDd9490Ip 09/09/08(Tue)02:52 No.2534822
    What if we get a miniature Greater Daemon?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:52 No.2534824
    ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)02:53 No.2534827
    Nids might be a proble if they get loose...
    They tend to eat EVERYTHING.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:53 No.2534830
    >>2534806

    You fool, rats will only weaken them. Feed them shit like spiders, scorpions and wasps, the food is strong AND THE KROOT ARE STRONG! As they grow and adapt, start feeding them fucking mongooses, then house cats, then wolves, then lions and so forth.

    Fucking... flying... armored... venomous... carnivorous... space wolf-lions.

    Someone post the picture of the guy who bred M&M's for battle, he knows how to raise a mighty kroot horde.
    >> ANGRY MARINE FLYNN 09/09/08(Tue)02:54 No.2534833
    I agree with the Sisters of Battle in a Furcon. I mean the fumes would have to be flammable...they like fire.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:54 No.2534835
    DIS TRED IS ABOU' ORKZ NAO. YOOZ GOTTA TALK LIKE AN ORK OR YOOZ GET IGNORD.

    ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:54 No.2534839
    Thursday Gameday at my FLGS would be a lot stranger. I imagine long grabbing claws to get people's army carriers open followed by a lot of yelling at tiny Commissars who are not amused by the dark foam case they've been toted around in. Then somebody get's shot with a tiny little lasgun while dumping their army out and informing them that they aren't allowed to start the purging until they get terrain set up and choose a mission type.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:55 No.2534844
    Everyone's talkin about glass tanks, but would their weaponry really be unable to break through in time? Just because a powerfist is only 1mm big doesn't mean it won't ever pierce 2 inches of plexiglass. Rapid-fire bolters and whatnot would be even worse.
    >> ANGRY INQUISITOR EPYNONYMOUS REX !!taqDd9490Ip 09/09/08(Tue)02:55 No.2534845
    >>2534830
    But but.. I just wanted little carnivorous pets :(


    I guess that's a good idea. KROOT HORDE! Set them loose against Orks.
    Wait. That could be part of the Orkin Man's strategy. The Kroot seem more reasonable, and may be easily bred into subservience. SUPER Kroot could be used to help exterminate Ork Infestations.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:57 No.2534856
    >>2534814


    then some hippie PETA bitches start complaining about how its cruel to have 40k arena matches....


    lol, the tabel top games will never be the same......but getting your nose broken by an overzealous chaplaain ain't finna be too fun.
    >> OrkPorker 09/09/08(Tue)02:58 No.2534862
    There would still be enough Orks to wipe out humanity.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)02:59 No.2534863
    Meh to control all Imperium units just dress in gold, and have a crown and speak in a booming voice.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)02:59 No.2534866
    This whole thing seems like the setup for Wallhammer 40K.

    i'd start an ultramariners army
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)03:00 No.2534870
    >>2534856
    Would the imperium really try to kil giant humans?

    Also, unleaseh the Nids at Peta main office. See how THEY think about how we treat them
    >> ANGRY INQUISITOR EPYNONYMOUS REX !!taqDd9490Ip 09/09/08(Tue)03:00 No.2534873
    I just had a thought.
    Angry Marines.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:01 No.2534876
    >>2534863
    you gotta get rid of that corpse in the space chair first
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:01 No.2534878
    I'd pump my Noise Marines full of Led Zeppelin all day and night and every Tuesday and Thursday... battle will be joined. That's some damn fine marching music boy.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:01 No.2534879
    Looted Typhoon-class. We're all fucked.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)03:01 No.2534882
    >>2534873
    Shit get some reasonable marines up in here!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:01 No.2534884
    So basically someone went shitnuts with that cupboard the Indian was in.

    I mean, most WH40K figs are plastic...
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)03:02 No.2534886
    >>2534879
    oh shit.. Orkz Loot a Car.. then an Abrams
    >> Reasonable Inquisitor Epynonymous Rex. !!taqDd9490Ip 09/09/08(Tue)03:02 No.2534888
    >>2534882
    That sounds reasonable.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:03 No.2534891
    >>2534884

    kinda, but only this time, the figures are really alive..so they die for reals
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:03 No.2534893
    >>2534839

    Fucking lol. I can imagine it so well. Man, what about catachans? those fuckers'd take care of ALL your garden pest problems.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)03:04 No.2534894
    >>2534891
    Heres a reasonable question. Would they be fluff accurate? like Space Marines are fucking nigh invincible? or game rules?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:04 No.2534897
    >>2534886

    itz..itz bootiful
    >> Reasonable Inquisitor Epynonymous Rex. !!taqDd9490Ip 09/09/08(Tue)03:07 No.2534906
    >>2534894
    Hopefully Game rules.


    I'd like to be able to stomp on one and kill it instead of it just living my shoe off of it, and ripping the sole off before pluging into my heel with bloody gore.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:07 No.2534912
    I'll need a squirt bottle if I intend to keep any Vindicares and Farseers around each other.

    Also, Doomrider shits bricks when he sees all the cocaine he can have. C-C-COCAINE!!! His tiny little eyes well up in tears like the first time Slaanesh gave him some blow and a daemonette.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:08 No.2534915
    >>2534891
    They died for real in the Cupboard books too. The only real difference here is that they were warped here instead of coming through one at a time through a cupboard.

    Also, I do believe this thread has been done before... I remember someone mentioning how cool it would be to have a tiny techpriest fix all their shit for them.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)03:08 No.2534916
    "Sir, One of our Abrams is.. missing, we don't think its stolen the keys are right here and I don't know anyone that can hotwire a tank an.."
    *rumble rumble rumble*

    " Mother of God...."

    "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH" *BOOM!*
    >> Reasonable Inquisitor Epynonymous Rex. !!taqDd9490Ip 09/09/08(Tue)03:11 No.2534927
    It's all over if only ONE ORK is brought through. Eventually it will die... And we all know what that means.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:11 No.2534928
    ill get a pet baneblade.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:11 No.2534929
    >ITT: All the forces of the 41st Millennium descend onto modern day Earth. Except they are only as large as their miniatures depict them to be.

    Tyranids eat a field and consume a state. Space Marines kill all world leaders within 24 hours. Imperial Guard destroys an entire city (as in total flat ground) every 3 days. Necrons efficiently kill off a city per day. Japan declares allegiance to Chaos, everyone who ever went to Japan sprouts spikes and starts worshipping Chaos ASAP. Tau take over a clerk's office in a small manufacturing plant in Hong Kong. Declare themselves the conquerers of this world, is stepped on by the night janitor, who they repel efffortlessly with no casualties. Eldar got to Europe, fit in effortlessly. Dark Eldar got to Middle East, fit in effortlessly. Orks take over Africa, everybody wonders why niggers got shorter, then take over the rest of the world in the following week.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:11 No.2534931
    >>2534897
    A dozen orks on the Steerin' Wheel, a Killa Kan on the gas pedal and a single grot on the break. it takes the Mekboys a few tries to get the clutch right but then once their on the road its heaven for a Kult of Speed. The first stop light they see they interpret to mean either "IZ BEST" or "GO FASTA" and when finally rammed off the road by the police procede to launch into a triumphant WAAGGHH.

    Itz bootiful.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:13 No.2534935
    Can me and my Noise Marines get a ride on that Abrams? Who the fuck is going to play When The Levee Breaks for you fuckers?! THERE'S NO RADIO IN THERE AND NO AUX IN FOR YOUR ORK-POD!
    >> щ(゚Д゚щ) 09/09/08(Tue)03:13 No.2534938
    >>2534929
    >Orks take over Africa, everybody wonders why niggers got shorter, then take over the rest of the world in the following week.

    This is hilarious.
    >> Reasonable Inquisitor Epynonymous Rex. !!taqDd9490Ip 09/09/08(Tue)03:15 No.2534948
    >>2534938
    And Greener.


    Also Kroot become Garden pests.
    >> Random Death Star-Sized Sapient Disco Ball Of Tzeentch !4T1uHiOuyE 09/09/08(Tue)03:16 No.2534953
    >>2534866
    Oh bigods, the live-action Wallhammer movie...
    Heh, I can see some of our little figs coming to terms with the fact that we view them as toys, perhaps thet their entire lives have been nothing more than the dictates of us biggies, and instead of going batshit, decide to roll with it. Techpriests, convinced that the whole Omnissiah thing was a sham, start sharing and donating tech to various think tanks. Inquisitors would advise governments. Commissars start advising armies. Spehss Marehns being modern-day gladiators, with none of that faked shit you see on TV. Demons being talk-show hosts, that sorta thing.

    And then Kris wakes up...
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)03:17 No.2534955
    >>2534931
    I get this great mental Image of orcs.
    "BOSS DA LIGHT TURND RED "ut Da "umies all Stopped"
    " I MEENZ GO FASTA YA GITZ DA LIGHT BEFOR WAZ GREEN SO DAT MEANS ORKZ GO FASTA!"
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:19 No.2534960
    >>2534955
    Yellow = preper yer dakka?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:20 No.2534962
    I'm fairly sure what would happen is that Orkz and Nids would take over.

    Nids would just evolve bigger by necessity; wouldn't take them that long. Then we'd be woefully unprepared.

    And orkz would see us as the chance for the biggest scrap of their lives (ho ho I made a pun) and equally, would reproduce to be bigger through the power of spores and WAAAGH!! (rf planet sized orkz in the current canon)

    All the others would almost certainly get stepped on, or eventually destroyed via bombing if they were a significant hostile threat, mostly through lack of size and numbers.

    (In fantasy land, I'd totally collect up the AdMech/SoB/GK, and provide them living quarters in my garage. It's practically a hive city... and having a working computer and a knowledge of ArchaeoTech would probably make me a new prophet to the AdMech. And I'd totally have one of the big nids as a pet.)
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)03:21 No.2534971
    Wouldn't an Abrams become like a GOD to the orkz? I can see like a whole ecosystem living inside the tank.

    God help us if the people who Drove it before called it Gork or Mork
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:22 No.2534974
    >>2534931
    airforce base:

    sir...it seems one of our raptors is missing..

    WHAT?! how in the hell did a raptor go missing


    Killboy: deff skwadron reporting in!
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)03:25 No.2534981
    >>2534974
    How many orkz would sit on the wings and shoot at the chase planes?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:26 No.2534984
    This is what would happen: necrons are still equiped with gauss weapons, which will flay you. These are quite potent, even when small.

    Tyranids slowly but surely eat larger prey, allowing them to grow as well, eventually they'll become large enough to eat humans and then all shit breaks loose.

    The imperium and anything related will just build BIGGER TITANS! which is their solution to this kind of thing.

    Eldar, attuned to the warp as they are, are able to use psychic power to enslave some people.

    Orks will grow and grow untill they are attack capable. This'll talke a while, but I doubt the Orks would mind waiting so they can fight a really big man.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:26 No.2534987
    All the Imperium Armies band together to take over a city, and then try to come up with some way to destroy this world.

    The others just fuck off everywhere.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:28 No.2534992
    >>2534974
    If they took a Herc it would be like having a flying city
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:28 No.2534993
    I don't think we should underestimate daemons here either..
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:29 No.2535001
    Slaanesh cultists and marines will believe they have been delivered to the promise land the first time they set foot in a public bathroom. They'll probably have to fight Nurgle aligned for control though.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)03:30 No.2535002
    And then the find it.. he great Golden Armchain at Lay -Z- Boy and the Great Commissar Yarrick drops to his knees

    It was Terra... It was TERRA all along. You idiots Exterminatused it to hell. DAMN YOU DAMN YOU ALL TO THE WARP!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:30 No.2535005
    >>2534993
    Daemons can't exist without worship. Chaos doesn't bring their worshippers, they make them. Not enough time to make worshippers before Orks or Tyranids eat the world.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:31 No.2535008
    So my techpriests got out of their box and to my computer again last night. I found them in the morning, A dozen techmarines and Enginseers andtheir servitors jumping up and down on the keyboard and using a Dreadnought to operate the mouse.

    We had to speak at length about Wikipedia. They were convinced that nothing told to them by the Great Machine could be so fallacious. Oh, and they got into my porn file and demanded to know why there was so much information on human procreation when schematics could be kept in the same space.

    Also, I've finally had it and will be taking my Dark Eldar to the sex shop. Again. The first time I was kinda drunk and they insisted (they had been begging for days and threatening to order more pay-per-view.) Its not like I've got some moral opposition, but, jeeze, ever see an inch-and-a-half tall Wych trying to operate a thirteen inch long vibrating dildo? Its . . . distrubing

    Oh, and they're ALL fighting over control of the TV. Literally. The Tau only want Discovery Channel, The Space Marine and Sisters want the religious networks, the Orks want Spike on, they Eldar all want me to put on Lifetime. Except for Eldrad, who I haven't seen in days, but made a collect call and just said "Channel 4, Tuesday news at noon." I'm a little afraid to turn it on.
    >> щ(゚Д゚щ) 09/09/08(Tue)03:32 No.2535014
    >>2535008
    Haha, that's amusing.

    More, if possible.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)03:37 No.2535041
    >>2535008
    man if the Guard find out about the beer in your fridge...
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:37 No.2535042
    >>2535008
    win
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:40 No.2535052
    >>2535008
    moar.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:42 No.2535064
    >>2535014
    Doomrider found my stash. Which was just weed and two hits of acid. But given his current size and the fact that he smoked all of it and rolled around on the LSD he's driving up the wall. Literally.

    Also, Privateer Press just made their big press release. It was simply "Well, fuck." I think the wargames industry might take a bigger hit.

    For some reason the tyranids have been watching Nickelodeon. I can't even begin to explain why. We've set up a sort of truce around the TV. Everyone gets one hour except when I want to watch something. Then the orks inform everyone else "DAT GORK WANTS TA WATCH 'IZ UMIE SHOWS." Which would be less weird if I didn't watch so much Election coverage. The Imperium is having a hard time understanding why we aren't purging the heresy of those trying to ursurp our planetary governorship.

    One of my friends brought over his Rogue Trader today. Which would have been okay, seeing his ship was pretty cool (it was about as big as my car) but the rat bastard tried to sell me my own tree. I have a single tree in my front yard and I had to pay fifty bucks to buy it back from him. Damn.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:44 No.2535068
    >>2535008

    techpriest: revered dreadnaut, please click on the sections we've have requested and not the the "human procreation" section

    dreadnaut: but..but twins they were!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:45 No.2535073
    >>2535064
    Sheer genius. Next time a drawfag is on, this would be a great thing to suggest.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)03:46 No.2535078
    Tzeentchnians watching the TV. SOoo. you change your leaders every 4 years and people call US nuts.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)03:47 No.2535080
    >>2535073
    I'm working on the Looted Abrams Comic
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:50 No.2535096
    >>2535068
    i see what you did there
    >> Random Death Star-Sized Sapient Disco Ball Of Tzeentch !4T1uHiOuyE 09/09/08(Tue)03:55 No.2535124
    >>2535064
    2: The trees and the grass all follow a single pattern!
    >For some reason the tyranids have been watching Nickelodeon. I can't even begin to explain why.
    And I wish I could explain why i find this bit so funny.

    >One of my friends brought over his Rogue Trader today. Which would have been okay, seeing his ship was pretty cool (it was about as big as my car) but the rat bastard tried to sell me my own tree. I have a single tree in my front yard and I had to pay fifty bucks to buy it back from him. Damn.

    LAWL.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:58 No.2535143
    >>2535064
    cntd.
    I'm trying to be too loud while I type this. The necrons are sleeping. I had to bathe the nurglings today. The stench was just too much. God, it was horrible. Most of them came apart in the sink. I, I don't want to think about that anymore.

    Aparantly an Eversor got into my book bag. In the middle of a US Foreign Policy lecture he made this very clear. I'm sure everyone's had a cell phone go off in class? Sucks right, even if the professor's cool you still feel like a douche. Ever have a tiny clawwed lunatic screw "WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" and run across the desk shredding everyone's notes?

    But the Eldar have predicted next weeks lotto results. Which would be great but Eldrad insisted that I shouldn't get a ticket with numbers but instead ask for "L-O-L-D-O-N-G." And I'm pretty sure there are no letters in the lotto balls.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)03:58 No.2535146
    >>2535124
    you would think they be watching animals planet and drooling massively
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:02 No.2535158
    Somebody gonna archive this shit?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:03 No.2535163
         File :1220947394.gif-(60 KB, 576x256, iwasdreaming.gif)
    60 KB
    >>2535068
    > dreadnaut: but..but twins they were!

    *clack* *clack*
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:05 No.2535170
         File :1220947541.jpg-(148 KB, 1280x942, 1216099018116.jpg)
    148 KB
    >>2535163
    >>2535068

    >TWINS
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:09 No.2535187
         File :1220947762.gif-(7 KB, 150x150, Awsuwah.gif)
    7 KB
    >>2535170
    The question now becomes:
    "Did they INTEND IT?!"
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:10 No.2535192
    you know, woun't the space marines start freaking if they saw dawn of war being played with blood ravens losing:

    captain: to arms my brothers, we must reinforce our battle lines...assault marines, death from the skies!!!!

    assualt marines crashes into the screen...

    assault sergent: what this?! foul xenos force field! may the emperor watch over them...

    Orkz: haha look at em super umies, yelling at teh icture box...waitamin, if youz boyz in ere, and in tere...den woo iz the reals youz?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:12 No.2535200
    I need to be careful with my weedwhacker now. Before it was just rocks, dog turds, and the ossacional bee's nest. Now it's Catachans, Tyrands, Kroot, Tyranids, and Orks that don't like it indoors. You don't know what a bug bite is until you've been peppered with Fleshborers.

    The Orks caught a garter snake, then let it go when they found out it wasn't venomous. I thought they were going to eat it... Then the Kroot and Catachans caught it and ate it. Raw. It wouldn't have been disturbing if it was just the Kroot (or the 'nids), but the Catachans had their snake sashimi-style too. I'm going to pick up some vinigar so they can at least cure the meat first. I wish my cat hadn't killed all the shrews, one of those would go through EVERYTHING living in my yard in a couple of days, I'd bet.

    Speaking of my cat Jones, he's been acting strangely...
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:14 No.2535207
    >>2535200
    >my cat Jones

    ಠ_ಠ
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:16 No.2535211
    haz the orks being riding it into battle?
    >> Phobonaut !tTBC.7oEaQ 09/09/08(Tue)04:18 No.2535216
    >>2535192
    Epic lulz ensue as the real orkz try to convince the DoW orkz to join their Waaagh.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:18 No.2535217
    >>2535192
    Or when they see plastic replicas of themselves on store shelves. Marines would think their brothers were in stasis and take them to the admechs to try and awaken them.
    and the nids would probably wonder why their bretheren do not hear the hivemind... and why they taste like plastic.

    imagine a commisar getting pissed off and executing half his men that the lemman russ' door they "salvaged" from the wargamming miniatures store won't open, no matter how much they pray to the machine spirit to open.

    and then there are the slaaneshi who find strip clubs and don't understand the "no touching" policy.
    "Oh, so it applies to tenticles, too!"
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:22 No.2535230
    >>2535200
    Jones acting strangly

    ಠ_ಠಠ_ಠ (DOUBLE ಠ_ಠ)
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:24 No.2535234
         File :1220948651.jpg-(35 KB, 346x256, SistersOfBattleWetDream.jpg)
    35 KB
    oh shit.

    Sisters of Battle find the local church.
    And then the find out about St. Peter's Basilica...
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Peter's_Basilica
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:24 No.2535235
    >>2535217
    So ... many of our brothers, ripped limb from limb and encased together. Even the chest plates of their power armor have been rend apart, and their bodies within destroyed! Bound up in a web of Plassteel. No, no, plas-tic I believe it was called. I cannot bear this horror anymore.

    "OI YOU'Z GROTS ON KARUVA! KUM OVAH HERE AN WAAGGH WIF ALL DA GIANT 'UMIES!"

    "We'ze gonna fix it up nice an' strong!"

    "YOU GROTS ALREADY SED DAT! NOW WHY DUN YOU COME HERE AND WAAGGH!! DEY'S GOT BIG LIGHTS FER "ORKS HERE" "DAKKA" AN "GO FASTA!"

    "puh-please ... no more kicking"
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:25 No.2535238
    >>2535217

    the dreadnauts models...

    battle brother: tech priest, awaken honorable dreadnaut, we require his assistance against the vile tau suits..

    techpriest: my aplogies, brother ???, but i cannot seem to wake him up, further more...it he's lighter than usual....
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:27 No.2535246
    >>2535235

    warboss gorgutz: IM THE BIGGEST AND THAT MAKES ME DA BOSS!!!

    irl warboss: WHAT?! NO I AM!!!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:29 No.2535253
    >>2535235
    The orks would feel right at home on "Pimp My Ride"
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:31 No.2535257
    This is far more awesome than the usual 40k vs X threads. I approve.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:34 No.2535263
    Would 'Nids at least use the litterbox?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:35 No.2535269
    lol, it would be plausible that someone would eventually post a blog of how they spent their days with the orkz running around everywhere.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:37 No.2535271
    emo kids, take a liking to necrons...only necrons flay everyone. soon the world emo problem is solved.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:39 No.2535275
    >>2535271
    Necrons do take slaves and followers you know
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:41 No.2535278
    >>2535275

    wut? thats the first i've ever heard of it.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:41 No.2535281
    >>2535275
    eh wot? If you mean pariahs, now we've just got pariahs who can't kill themselves off.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:45 No.2535291
    A pack of Ogryns have made friends with my sister's Lab; they're inseperable now. They built a howda around the dog's harness and ride on it's back, she even gets down so they can climb onto her. Just to be cruel I decided to play fetch when she was laden with Orgyns, but they had a hell of a time! The ones that fell off didn't even grumble about it.

    Oh well, at least she's not always begging for my attention anymore.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:46 No.2535293
    >>2535278
    yeah, in the most recent necrons codex, it says that after their thirst is slaked, they will gather slaves. Also, same codex also talks about massive amounts of sacrifices being offered to the necrons.

    This is pre-5e fluff, so if you take necrons, keep their old desire to amass slaves, but remove the mandatory servants of the C'tan bit, you can easily have necrons whose first agenda is to collect human (or xeno) followers... particularly hereteks.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:46 No.2535294
    i would buy my pet orkz toy cars to loot
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:47 No.2535298
    what would the streangth of their weapons be? for e.g. could a lascannon burn a small hole trough me..could a necron slowly flay my skin? and would powerarmour be as strong..i.e. stepping on them would more likly rip a hole in your shoe.

    If so...tiny assassins...or gather techmarines and enginseers and begin construction!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:48 No.2535303
    A Pet Lord of Change would be fuckwin. I'd name him Obama Jr.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:48 No.2535304
    >>2535200
    2nd ed Tyranid special rule "Jones is acting strangely"?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:49 No.2535306
    I just had another thought...kill alot of space marines...eat their geneseed..become a space marine

    thats how it works right?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:50 No.2535307
    >>2535293

    first time i heard about necrons thirsting for anything other than the eradication of all life in the galaxy.

    also, why do they need slaves? they robots...they don't get tired, nor hungary (unless its energy i guess), nor have any other task other than sleep and kill.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:50 No.2535308
    >>2535306
    w...what?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:51 No.2535310
    >>2535306

    fried battle brother?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:52 No.2535316
    >>2535306
    facepalm.jpg
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:52 No.2535318
    take a bunch of orks and make them fight eachother and bet on them
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)04:56 No.2535322
    >>2535298
    An interesting question plasteel and other fantastic materials would be made so thin, their effective strength would also be reduced.

    heh.

    9mm FMJ bouncing off a 1" space marine termie/dread. lawl
    >> Typhus, Herald of Nurgle 09/09/08(Tue)04:56 No.2535323
    Aside from having a nid and ork cage like most the guys here, I would have a separated cage for CSM and SPESS MUHREENS so If I needed advice, bam, I ask a thousand year old veteran.

    However, my master plan would be to supply raw materials to my mini imperial guardsmen so they could spy on people for me. I could have an entire info network.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)05:01 No.2535330
    >>2535322
    shit, i hit the submit button too soon.

    i was going to go on to say that their weaponry would also have scaled down, as would their explosive capability. 1 ounce of high explosive doesn't do (as) much when it's been reduced to aproximately 1/60th it's original weight/volume. 20mm grenade launchers would scale down to LESS THEN HALF A MILLIMETER under a 1:65 scale. (in fact, likely less then 1/10th of a millimeter)
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)05:02 No.2535332
    "Other than direct battle, the Necrons have infiltrated the Imperium to an unknown extent. Their elite anti-psyker troops, the Pariahs, are a cross-breed with human genes and it is as yet unknown if the Necrons developed the Pariah project by themselves or with the help of Imperial traitors (or possibly even Adeptus Mechanicus)."

    "Now, many millions of years after the Enslaver Plague, the Necrons and their masters have finally awoken to reclaim the galaxy, and begin, once again, to herd the living as their cattle."

    Obviously, you don't genocide cattle, and cows are one of the most dominant forms of life in, say, America.

    "They will seek to harvest us at first, for they will be hungry after their long sleep. Then they will turn their efforts to enslaving the survivors."

    As opposed to "They will seek to harvest us, period."

    3e necrons are far, far from benevolent, put their purpose is hardly EXTERMINATUS FOR ALL, its food. 5e necrons can have literally any motive you want.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)05:07 No.2535342
    >also, why do they need slaves? they robots...they don't get tired, nor hungary (unless its energy i guess)

    Well, I guess you could call 'em robots, but in 5e they still retain personality for at least the first couple hundred times they die, which is much better than everyone else. But, they'd find servants useful for padding out deficiencies in their armies, getting the materials to construct more tomb ships and monoliths and such, and so forth. Plus, a necron lord may think himself a god, a pariah lord may find it pleasing to go from outcast to ruler, etc.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)05:10 No.2535347
    Well Its been a while since all these little guys showed up, and the 4th of July is coming up... I hope the Orkz don't find my firework stash before the Imperium does..
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)05:12 No.2535350
    5e necrons are elder space malkavians.
    >> Phobonaut !tTBC.7oEaQ 09/09/08(Tue)05:16 No.2535361
    I let tiny daemons possess the 99,9% of my brain that isn't used.

    I'd be like the smartest muthafuckka on the planet. Albeit a bit... schizo.

    "And thus we see that nuclear fussion is completely... ch-ch-chang... plausible with the co-co-rrrect blooooooooo- technology blooo-. This will allow us to endulge in an era of massed org- massive prrrooogress and eternal life, I mean eternal unending rrrrrraaaag-energy."
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)05:19 No.2535367
    So Necrons now are like "lol C'Tan didnt do it".
    They now more like " lol we are friendly robots, might eat you soul, might rule you like all other do"
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)05:20 No.2535369
    >>2535361
    Holy shit I lol'd.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)05:21 No.2535374
    Wait, wait... What about Psykers?

    Wouldn't the more powerful ones (Delta, Gamma, Alpha+, etc) still be able to fuck us up?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)05:22 No.2535376
    >>2535361
    While everyone knows that HERP DERP ELVES AND ORCS ARE CULTURALLY IDENTICAL implies you have a large portion of your brain that is nonfunctional, the average person does, in fact, use his whole brain. We haven't understood exactly what part of the brain corresponds to what, but I fully encourage anyone who spreads this stalest of memes to dig out a hunk o' brain with an ice cream scoop, it should only be 10% or so of their brain and we only use 5% at most, amirite!?
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 09/09/08(Tue)05:25 No.2535389
    >>2535376
    The average usage is 10%.

    But thats voluntary actions. Theres a whole world of involuntary actions going on.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)05:29 No.2535403
    >>2535389
    You forgot "Which consumes the other 90%"

    Back on-topic:
    As long as the various things from 40k remain in their scaled-down version, they will also suffer less from the effects of gravity; like ants, who are too small to "fall to their death" marines would probably end up having bones as strong as hardened steel wire, and could easilly jump down from a desk top onto the floor without breaking anything. (presumably)
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)05:29 No.2535404
    >>2535389
    >involuntary actions

    Fine, I'll believe that most of the brain's actions are involuntary. Decision making itself is to some extent is involuntary. I just got out of biology class and our professor (who also teaches human anatomy, which is of course part of biology, but still) was directly saying its a lie that humans don't use their entire brain.
    >> Phobonaut !tTBC.7oEaQ 09/09/08(Tue)05:30 No.2535406
    >>2535376
    Yeah you're right. We use the full 100%.

    But it doesn't matter for the JOKE!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)05:32 No.2535413
    >>2535367
    Yep. I'd just have them start pariah breedian projects and Slaanesh doesn't even get an invite.
    >> Phobonaut !tTBC.7oEaQ 09/09/08(Tue)05:32 No.2535415
    >>2535403
    HOLY FUCK WE'RE FUCKED!

    SERVITORS WOULD LOAD SPACE MARINES IN REVOLVERS AND SHOOT THEM IN OUR BODIES WHERE THEY WOULD RIP AND TEAR US TO OBLIVION
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)05:33 No.2535416
    >>2535389
    90% is OS and background apps
    10% is just the available processing power

    tl;dr: If you used only 10% of your brain, you would be dead.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)05:37 No.2535429
    >>2535330
    Fortunately when a thing is 1:65 scale you can divide it by 65.

    A 20mm grenade launcher is going to be 0.3mm or so.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)05:41 No.2535448
         File :1220953278.jpg-(111 KB, 1169x850, 1192009750874.jpg)
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    >>2535415

    PREDATOR ANGRINATOR
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)06:08 No.2535553
    Wow, this needs more writefaggotry and drawfaggotry, too epic to pass!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)06:40 No.2535644
    >>2535416
    Meh, in fact there's double to triple redundancy of brain cells; I remember reading an article proving that having a brain large enough not to shutdown when running for a long time like our primal ancestors used to allowed us to be more successive then Neanderthals.

    Also, neurons form specific "processing clusters" for each task they are up to, so when you have 10% neurons in such clusters in each given moment of time that doesn't mean that you don't use the other ones in the other moments.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)07:15 No.2535750
    Holy shit, I would be fucked sideways if this happened.

    I collect Khornate models rather than actually playing and I've got a dozen Berzerkers and a Forge World World Eater Dreadnaught.

    Also Kharn the Betrayer.

    I can't imagine how effective a chainaxe or the Gorechild would be even at that reduced size.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)07:22 No.2535786
    >>2535553
    I'm trying to do something, but I know shit about how to make ork-speak sound right.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)07:24 No.2535795
    >>2534387

    I petition this be named

    Tiny Hammer 40K
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)07:25 No.2535801
    Anyone remember Indian in the Cupboard? I am reminded of that series.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)07:26 No.2535803
    >>2535750
    "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!"
    "OH FUCK OW MY FACE! I WAS SLEEPING, YOU TINY BASTARDS!"
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)07:26 No.2535804
    >>2535795
    Warhammer 4k
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)07:35 No.2535839
    >>2535786
    tell us what you want and we'll translate
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)07:51 No.2535905
    Bump for awesome thread.
    >> The Thin Fa/tg/uy 09/09/08(Tue)07:54 No.2535916
    I rubbed my hand over my face and put my feet down on the floor, only to feel something go squish under them. That's not the way that a person wants to wake up. Glancing at the underside of my foot, I quickly decided that not only was it impossible to figure what I'd just killed, but I wasn't entirely sure that I wanted to know. Maybe later. Maybe once I'd gotten human again.

    Of course, since these things all ended up at my house, it's been a little more difficult to do that than ever. I positively glowered at the shower. "Hey! You little fucks! What the hell have I told you about screwing on the soap!" I don't know what they are, and I don't care. I don't want alien jizz on my soap, no matter how little the creature is.

    I marched back out and began the hunt. I don't know what they're called (my friend, Dave, he knows and has told me a hundred times, but it keeps slipping my mind) but those little guys in armor, with the swords and all the whack about some sort of god ruler thingie? I found a bunch of them on the kitchen table. Despite their protests and their curses, I snatched all four of them up and carried them back in with me.
    >> The Thin Fa/tg/uy 09/09/08(Tue)07:55 No.2535917
    >>2535916
    "Permission granted to kill these two xenos." I didn't have to say it twice. We had an agreement -- they thought they'd gone through some sort of time/space wormhole, shrinking them and sending them back in time. They were putting up with me only until their god guy came into power or something,but until then, I was in charge. Whatever. Either way, they literally leaped out of my hand and went to town. I looked away. Nobody wants to watch that.

    Just as much as somebody wants to watch an inch tall figure stroll past the doorway, dragging a much larger rat behind it. It was yelling something about a blood god. A different god, I'd learned. But it was streaking blood all across the carpet. Good pest control, those guys. Hell on the cleaning bill, though.

    Fuck coffee. I don't even want to think about what those one things did to the kitchen while I was sleeping. Probably ate everything. AGAIN. Good on garbage disposal, but...
    >> The Thin Fa/tg/uy 09/09/08(Tue)07:56 No.2535922
    >>2535917
    Computer. Play some Team Fortress or something. Blow some steam before I start dumping these guys in the garbage disposal again. Wiping off the last of the grunge off my feet, I tossed the tissue to one of those red preying mantis-looking thingies to eat before reaching to turn on my computer. Only to find that the guys with the hard-on for tech had it open again.

    "What are you doing?" I asked in a harsher voice than intended.

    One stepped forward. "The holy electron flow-"

    Fuck. I knew where this was going. I cut him off quickly. "Like you'd tell one of the other guys."

    He seemed disappointed. Screw him. "We are... upgrading your ram?"
    >> The Thin Fa/tg/uy 09/09/08(Tue)07:57 No.2535923
    >>2535922
    I closed my eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and looked back up. I don't know how they got up there, but the white haired chicks were dragging me a cup of coffee. They're nice. Religious nutbags who I'm always being careful what I say around, but nice. I was completely distracted until one of the green guys poked my arm.

    "Me an' da boyz wanna ride again, boz."

    "Later," I grumbled softly. They loved riding in my car, but had spent the last two days painting it red. To make it go faster. Their version of logic made my head hurt, but them and those one freaky armored dudes love riding with me, even moreso when I turn the music all the way up.

    It was at this point in time that I felt something in my sweatpants. I've gotten used to this enough that I virtually ripped them off. There was one of the blue things, with one normal arm and one that's kinda like a blade, and she was... you know... trying to go at my junk.

    And that's when I started screaming, officer...
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)08:13 No.2535978
         File :1220962427.jpg-(59 KB, 274x295, 1206813383545.jpg)
    59 KB
    >>2535916
    >>2535917
    >>2535922
    >>2535923

    I humbly request more, oh great one
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)08:28 No.2536038
    >>2535978

    Seconding.

    Someone had better archive this.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)08:36 No.2536072
    >>2536038
    It's been archived for ages. Please check the archives before saying ZOMG ARKIFE DIS SHIT
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)08:51 No.2536128
    >>2534628
    Virus bombs only give the sniffles.

    They make a fatal mistake They drop the bombs in Brazil...

    >>2534870
    Silly Micronians

    >>2534916
    Does tan count as being a weak version of Yellow?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)08:57 No.2536152
    Posting in epic thread. Also requesting moar writefaggotry.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)08:58 No.2536156
    >>2535922
    Um with the Techpriests do they work with Cats? I know Cats upgrade RAM but do they? Also Have them clean your fans in system

    I hope a Grot doesn't loot any of my Gundams... Especially the MG version of GP-02A I don't need very small tactical nuclear weapons going off
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)09:01 No.2536175
    Wouldn't the reduced size make every creatures vioce a tad squeeky?
    Anyway, I'd blatantly send Orks out shoplifting for me. It'd be like having a mini Chav army, but less obnoxious! "BOYZ!! GO GETS ME DAT BIG SPARKLY FING OVER DERE!!! YEAH, DAT FING WOT HAS DA PIKCHERS IN IT!! WAAAAAAGH AN DAT!!"
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)09:01 No.2536176
    What happens when the Orkz discover Bottle Rockets? or Model Rockets...
    Oh fuck...

    If this ever happens I must destroy all my model rocket motors in order to prevent the Orks from lootin em
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)09:05 No.2536196
    >>2536175
    For VoX users they could just modify the settings. TechPriests probably turn the volume down for Cranky Dreads when they first wake up after having a good dream. Or when they go off on one of those "Back when I was your age.." stories for the Millionth time.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)09:10 No.2536219
    >t was at this point in time that I felt something in my sweatpants. I've gotten used to this enough that I virtually ripped them off. There was one of the blue things, with one normal arm and one that's kinda like a blade, and she was... you know... trying to go at my junk.

    I fail to see the problem with this.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)09:12 No.2536237
    Looted Erector Sets. Now cower in fear
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)09:14 No.2536243
    >>2536176
    "oh great, the little green bastards found my old RC car. i'll never catch the fuckers now..."
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)09:22 No.2536284
    "Hey, little space dude, what are you doing with my Legos?"

    "Preparing fortifications. The Xenos scum have taken control over the kitchen cabinets and are preparing an attack as we speak."
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)09:28 No.2536309
    I am really sad now because I will never be able to see any of this irl...so awesome. So awesome.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)09:34 No.2536335
         File :1220967270.jpg-(109 KB, 1024x768, SmallSoldiers01.jpg)
    109 KB
    >>2536309
    Watch "Small Soldiers" more or less the exact same thing. As a bonus, the robot action figures are voiced by the cast of the dirty dozen.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)09:34 No.2536338
    /r/ing more Writefaggotry
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)09:36 No.2536348
    >>2536335
    Replace action figures with Space Marines and Tau and you make it 40k related.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)09:42 No.2536368
         File :1220967766.jpg-(42 KB, 308x475, 11885_big.jpg)
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    >>2536348
    They are space marine (non 40k) action figures given tiny robot skeletons and AIs so that they "play" with children. They also have alien action figure antagonists to fight against, who talk about the greater good but don't look tau like. Naturally the marines go on a berserk rampage trying to kill the aliens.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)09:43 No.2536371
    i was firing up the PC when i notied one of the guardsmen tring to scale my monitor.

    "hey, what are you doing all the way up here?" i asked as i gave the little guy a boost.

    he looked up from the little antanne he was setting up. "getting better reception so i can call for air support"

    "oh thats nice..." i mumbled as i logged on.

    "wait, what?"

    "air support, sir. the heretics have taken the hallway"

    "oh hell no..." i had just enough time to stand up before i heard the loungeroom window shattering
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)09:46 No.2536377
    "Hey, where is the Vindicurry?", I asked the tiny Marine, not wanting to lose track of ALL my new house guests.

    The last time I had seen him, the equally small, black clad figure with a large (For him, anyway) sniper rifle had been accompanying this particular Space Marine.

    "Vindicare", The Marine corrected with a grunt which sounded more like a squeak.

    "Yeah, where did he go? Wasn't he just here?"

    He looked up at me, quite a feat given our size difference. "The honourable member of the Officio Assassinorum has been given a most dangerous assignment"

    "Being?" I inquired, only slightly worried as to what damage may come from this. At least he wasn't one of those bloody 'Eversaurs' or whatever. Crazy bastards.

    "I do not know, giant one." The blue armoured figure confessed. "But he did mumble something about a 'Tall Deer'".

    'Tall deer?', I thought. 'How odd...'
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 09/09/08(Tue)09:48 No.2536382
    >>2536338
    >/r/ing more Writefaggotry

    Someone should write some stories from the point of view of the minis.


    "The multi-coloured construction pieces were assembled quickly, which made us suspect that they must have been created through the use of STCs, known or not. Yet our techpriests could not identify what STC they belonged to, the inscription on them not appearing in their data. However, STC or not, our company took position on the walls of the fortress we built using them, our Leman Russes prepared for counter-attacks, and our heavy weapons were emplaced on the towers we made.

    It would be a long night, and we could not afford to remain unprepared once more if the enormous abomination of a cat attacked again. I will never forget the look of horror on Lieutenant Jenkins´ face when the oversized creature snatched him in his jaws.

    Jenkins...

    JEEEEEEEEEEEENKIIIIIIIIIIINS!!!"
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)09:49 No.2536384
    >>2536377
    Smells like love...and rage.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)09:51 No.2536387
    "HEY, that baneblade better not be tracking mud on my carpet..."
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)09:59 No.2536410
    As I opened the door of my room, my jaw dropped.

    Standing on my bed was ...a toy? It looked like a tiny woman, although covered in ridiculous armour and a stupid looking conical helmet. More importantly, it was holding a sharp-looking spear, which it was carefully thrusting at a bunch of savage-looking green things. At first it didn't seem like it stood a chance - it was tiny and frail, while the green ones were ..well, still tiny, but a lot tougher looking.

    After a few moments of watching them fight, however, my opinion completely reveresed. The greenskins were rough and tough, and whenever they hit my bed they ripped apart the blanket, but the woman was incredibly...swift. She dodged every single blow, and her shaft was like a blur as it stabbed and slashed through the greenskins. After a few minutes, they were all dead, and the woman was left there, breathing heavily. She obviously hadn't noticed me - the door was only open a tiny crack, and she was a bit ....pre-occupied. When they were all dead, I heard a high-pitched voice say something incomprehensible, and heard a tiny popping sound. With that, the tiny figure took off her helmet and sat down. She had long, black hair, and from what I could see, an incredibly beautiful face, marred only by a small jewel embedded in her forehead.
    >> The Warp !JpnUTrf.3g 09/09/08(Tue)10:01 No.2536416
    >>2536382
    It's midnight here, please don't write them in orkish :<

    I wouldn't mind showing /d/ to a SoB to see how she reacts. probably end up with 2nd degree burns to my penis and a large crater in the wall D:
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)10:02 No.2536420
         File :1220968921.png-(51 KB, 900x969, Misc_Taldeer-supTG.png)
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    >>2536410
    fapping now.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)10:02 No.2536421
         File :1220968946.jpg-(25 KB, 300x342, fairiefetish.jpg)
    25 KB
    >>2534387
    1) Capture as many Sisters as I can find
    2) Buy lots of thread, Q-tips and vasaline
    3) ??? (oh, I know what I'm going to do)
    4) Profit

    Add some Eldar females to taste.
    And the Apex twins.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)10:05 No.2536428
    >>2536410
    Great Idea to Erotic fanfiction in 8 hours? You're slipping, /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)10:05 No.2536429
         File :1220969157.jpg-(143 KB, 792x1300, Eldar_Farseer-sketch.jpg)
    143 KB
    >>2536421
    >Add some Eldar females to taste.
    You're gonna get mindraped.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)10:07 No.2536433
    >>2536428
    That's not erotic shit, he is doing small-sized Love Can Bloom.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)10:32 No.2536492
    >>2536410
    She looked...peaceful. Serene. Even though she'd just come out of a fight, she didn't have a drop of those green things' blood on her, unlike my blanket. She'd obviously fought very hard - one of the green things was about four times her size. If I hadn't seen her lightning-fast spearwork, I wouldn't have thought it possible that she did it. I'd heard something on the news about strange creatures from some game or another coming to world in tiny size, but I'd just shrugged it off. After a few moments of waiting at the door, I moved to fully open it and walk in. Whatever it was, it probably couldn't hurt me.

    The moment I even thought about opening the door, it got up, not even using its' hands for support. It looked straight at me, and I realised just how beautiful that tiny face was - if she was the same size as a regular human, she'd leave every single woman I've ever seen look like a pigfaced cow. She said a few nonsense words and waved her hand around a bit...and nothing happened. She looked confused for a second, but then started running, jumping straight off my bed and onto the floor and immediately kept running. She was a fantastic athlete too, it seemed.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)10:48 No.2536546
    >>2536433

    Can Love Bloom in the Bedroom?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)10:51 No.2536555
    And now a completely different writefag.

    So there I was, making a sandwich in the kitchen when suddenly I heard something.
    It sounded kind of like a tiny rope being pulled trough something.

    ''KHREAT ONEH!''

    The little, bald man covered in armour was standing next to my bread basket.

    ''WEH HAVH COME TO ASKH YOUHR HELP IN THE SEHRIS OF THE EMPRA'' he sqeaked.

    ''What?'' I sighed.

    ''THE ACCUHRSED KSENOHS HAVH TAKEN OVER THE HOLEE REMHOTE-DEVICE''

    ''You mean the TV's remote control?''

    ''YESH, KREAHT ONE, WHE HUMBLEH ASK FOR YOHR AIDH IN THES ENDEAVOUR!!''

    ''Just let me finish making this Sandwhich''

    ''BYEH YOHR WORD''

    ''Right.''


    When I entered the living room my jaw dropped.

    The little green dudes were screaming their heads off at the little dudes in spiky red armour.

    ''Hey HEY WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!'' I explaimed loudly.

    Everything went quiet.

    ''Dem...dem spiky boyz iz stealin' our Tuh-luh-ve-sion''

    I turned to the spiky dudes.

    ''BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!!'' They yelled in one big chorus.

    I rubbed my face.

    '' Ugh.''
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)10:54 No.2536574
    >>2536382
    Now I'm seeing my room being a veritable goldmine of materials for them... Legos, Erector, and K'nex.

    Just tell them not to attack the dogs and they'll be ignored although the dogs may panic if they step on them or get spooked by an explosion...

    I wonder what they'll think of the Canyon network in the backyard.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)10:57 No.2536588
    Aww man, this thread is a Goldmine as far as awsome writefaggotry is concerned!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)10:59 No.2536597
    Memo to self: Prevent them from getting to the shop equipment. Also avoid don't let them get to the thing I made for that class...

    I'll have to find a way to disassemble it... I don't want them little green crooks getting their hands on a rat trap.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)11:03 No.2536610
    A more scary thought than Orks looting a Raptor or an Abrams is them looting a B-52... I mean considering its size you could have the equivilent of a planet full of Orks in there. Also it has a LOT of Dakka you can put in it.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)11:08 No.2536629
    I belive we are autosaging. Shall we continue?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)11:12 No.2536644
    >>2536629
    New thread
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)11:14 No.2536654
    NEW THREAD:
    >>2536652
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)13:40 No.2537249
    Autosage? Say it ain't so
    >> Anonymous 09/09/08(Tue)17:42 No.2538773
    bump


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