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  • File :1222296667.jpg-(56 KB, 400x536, DrizztDoUrden.jpg)
    56 KB Anonymous 09/24/08(Wed)18:51 No.2658627  
    >ElminsterxDrizzt writefag challenge.

    Goddammit Anon. This has 0% crossdressing or sex-changing Elminster, guaranteed.


    ”It’s mostly the fans, you see” said Drizzt, shrugging.

    ”Of course, of course” said Elminster, puffing on his pipe a few times, creating smoke figures of a pair of flying dragons which soared through the air before dissolving.

    The drow leaned back a little, even if it was obvious he wasn’t even relaxing here, in Elminster’s own sanctuary. ”It seems for every adventure I have I both get more famous, and people flock around me all the time. Children want to see my swords or pet Gwyn, women want to marry me… the girls are especially crazy… and the men ask how I became such a ’leet fighter’.” He grumbled.

    Elminster chuckled a little.

    ”On the other hand, for every adventure I also seem to become more infamous, with some people seemingly having nothing better to do than spread malicious rumors, tell lies and openly decry me. Either they say I am too good to be true, or that I am evil and reckless.” He lifted a strand of white hair from his face, letting himself sigh a little. ”It’s not easy being a lonely drow ranger with a true heart in a world that both lusts after you and despises you.”
    >> Anonymous 09/24/08(Wed)18:51 No.2658632
    ”Oh, true true lad” said Elminster and re-stuffed his pipe. ”Now, I can’t claim to have the sort of fame ye do, but I can sympathize. It appears that when people talk of the Realms, ye or I are the first thing on their minds. Nobody will start off a conversation about Faerun with ’Did ye hear what Storm did?’ or ’So I was reading about the latest adventure of Minsc’… As popular as the other heroes and villains are, it seems we two have become the centerpieces. And naturally, as fame works that leaves us rather exposed to public scrutiny.” The old man guffawed, and blew another series of smoke rings, this time forming into faint smoky letters.

    Drizzt nodded. ”That does sound plausible. I mean, my original adventure in the icewind dale wasn’t really as much my story as it was Wulfgar’s, and we all know how that turned out. Frankly, I would have been content to stay as his sidekick”

    ”A bit late now, mmm?”

    ”Of course. And before you ask, no, no time travel. It only leads to misery.”

    Elminster laughed. ”I was not going to offer, but that is fine and well. Messing with the past is a bad idea in general”

    Drizzt smiled faintly, then the smile faded to his usual, weary look, a look he didn’t usually display. ”I suppose I just wish I could take a break from fame now and then. Fame and infamy, both.”
    >> Anonymous 09/24/08(Wed)18:51 No.2658635
    Elminster quirked a gnarled, silvery eyebrow. ”Do ye really? Well… why didn’t ye say so?”

    Drizzt looked over with some surprise at the old sage. ”What do you mean?”

    Elminster stood up with a surprisingly nimble leap, his face bearing a silly grin. ”What ye need is a vacation, lad. A vacation from being Drizzt. And I have just the thing for that!” Pipe trailing smoke behind him, he headed towards a side door, waving Drizzt along. The dark elf stood up nimbly and followed Elminster through the doorway, puzzled. On the other side was a comfortable bedroom with a closed window and several large dressers, as well as a small toilet area. Elminster strode over to one of the dressers as soon as Drizzt had entered, and pulled it open.

    The ranger recoiled and hissed, reaching for his swords.

    Elminster looked over at him. Then understanding dawned. ”Oh no no! They’re not –real-. Not the way ye think. I’m not taking to skinning people in my old age. No no. These are Guises. They’re everyday Polymorphs, for everyone! While wearing one ye are totally undetectable as your normal self!”

    Drizzt relaxed slightly, approaching. ”Are you saying…”
    >> Anonymous 09/24/08(Wed)18:52 No.2658638
    ”Yes, yes. Why, if you were wearing one of these, you could be –anyone-. You’d definently not have to carry the burden of being do’Urden” Drizzt facepalmed. ”Sorry, sorry. Anyway, it’s the perfect vacation from yourself. Perfectly safe too.”

    Drizzt felt his curiosity being peaked, and he reached in to page through the hanging skin-like garments. They were soft and rustling to the touch, but didn’t really feel like skin. He was mildly surprised to feel some sort of sticky residue on a few of the suits, but didn’t see it as wise to ask.

    ”So… I could borrow one of these from you, put it on, turn into someone nobody will know and go and do what I want?”

    Elminster nodded. ”Precisely”

    ”That’s… interesting. I think I’d like to try it first, though.”

    ”Oh, of course. Feel free to do as much or as little as you want. This room is at your disposal. Just put your clothes on the bed hmm?”

    Drizzt nodded, still fascinated by the weird artifacts. Elminster chuckled, and exited.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/08(Wed)18:52 No.2658643

    Sitting in his chair, Elminster was poring over a rather fascinating book, having refilled his pipe. Then he heard footsteps and the sound of the sideroom door opening. He turned around in his high-back chair. ”Ah lad, I’m glad ye…” He lost his train of speech.

    A young woman, barely more than a girl walked out of the side room, smiling cheerfully. She was still just on the verge of womanhood, with small breasts and slender hips, yet her lithe body showed the tone of a gymnast. Her skin was tanned, and her face was pretty with a perky, girlish expression, and her voluminous blue hair arranged in a ponytail to keep out of her face. Her ears showed a slight point, displaying a half-elf heritage.

    She was dressed in a very simple outfit, consisting of a brown tunic covering her torso, held in by a simple leather belt, and a pair of large leather wristbands with brass-colored studs. Her legs and feet were bare. Elminster could just make out some underwear under the tunic’s edge. She rushed over to the old sage and threw her arms around his neck (since she was much shorter than him).

    ”Oh Elminster, thank you so much! This is the best present ever! How can I ever repay you?”

    Elminster studied the girl. Then he smiled.

    ”I’m sure I’ll think of something”
    >> Anonymous 09/24/08(Wed)18:53 No.2658649
    >Elminster studied the girl. Then he smiled.

    >”I’m sure I’ll think of something”

    >> Anonymous 09/24/08(Wed)18:59 No.2658682
    All you cowards are using these Guises to pretend to write Elminister/Whoever fics. I demand sweaty, hairy old man balls bouncing as the big E thrusts into the ass of, say, Minsc.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/08(Wed)19:04 No.2658714

    so write them yourself Anon
    >> Anonymous 09/24/08(Wed)19:05 No.2658719
    Sorry, I have a test in an hour. But don't tempt me...
    >> Mask of Winters !!5tEp50WeGgS 09/24/08(Wed)19:08 No.2658740
    If it has 0% crossdressing or sex-changing Elminister, thread is automatically rendered useless.
    What else could the old bat be good for?
    >> Anonymous 09/24/08(Wed)19:09 No.2658751

    You didn't read it, how can you tell.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/08(Wed)19:10 No.2658753

    the writefag already did two of those fics, I think that market is satiated.
    >> Mask of Winters !!5tEp50WeGgS 09/24/08(Wed)19:10 No.2658754
    Good point. I'll give it a shot now.
    >> Mask of Winters !!5tEp50WeGgS 09/24/08(Wed)19:13 No.2658770
    I revoke my first comment.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/08(Wed)19:18 No.2658803

    >> Anonymous 09/24/08(Wed)19:37 No.2658913
    This is awesome. Moar?
    >> Anonymous 09/24/08(Wed)19:52 No.2659031
    Continue plz? D=
    >> Writefag 09/24/08(Wed)19:56 No.2659057

    I wish I could, but I really have to do other stuff. Uh, archive the thread or something and I'll see about continuing it some other day if anyone wants to see it.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/08(Wed)21:05 No.2659408
    Hahahaha. no cross dressing Elminster, but ho yes cross dressing Drizz't!
    >> Anonymous 09/24/08(Wed)21:15 No.2659472
    I wish I could make you awesome for this post.

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