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  • File :1222379960.png-(41 KB, 354x450, bawsm.png)
    41 KB Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)17:59 No.2664703  
    /tg/, did I ever tell you about the black and white Space Marine who rode a black and white bike?
    >> Juba, The Baghdad Sniper !1EVr3uyPJI 09/25/08(Thu)18:00 No.2664711
    No, tell us.
    >> Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)18:00 No.2664725
    There once was a Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike, and being the hero type person he was, wanted to marry the Chapter Master's daughter.

    So he went up to the palace and the guard naturally enquired "Who goes there?", to which he replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

    "Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?" asked the guard, with a not unconsiderable amount of awe in his voice.

    "Yes, I'm *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

    "OK, pass."

    So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

    "Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

    "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter," replied the Black and White Space Marine.

    "Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

    "Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

    "OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage."

    The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your first task is to slay the dragon on Xylon III."

    On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there?", to which he replied
    "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter."

    "Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

    "Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

    "OK, pass."
    >> Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)18:01 No.2664730
    The Black and White Space Marine then proceeded with ease to kill the dragon and six months later returned with the head of the foul beast.

    On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
    "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

    "Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

    "Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

    "OK, pass"

    So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

    "Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

    "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.

    "Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

    "Yes,*the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

    "OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your second task is to climb the highest peak on Desgrus Beta".

    On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there"?", to which he replied
    "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

    "Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

    "Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

    "OK, pass."
    >> Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)18:02 No.2664737
    Oh no
    >> Juba, The Baghdad Sniper !1EVr3uyPJI 09/25/08(Thu)18:03 No.2664748
    I like where this story is going.
    >> Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)18:03 No.2664752
    Oh fucking no.

    Not this story.
    >> Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)18:05 No.2664769
    The Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike easily climbed the mountain and returned 4 years later.

    On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
    "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

    "Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

    "Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

    "OK, pass."
    So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

    "Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

    "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.

    "Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

    "Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike.
    >> Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)18:06 No.2664789
    >>2664748

    pro tip: it's not going to go anywhere
    >> Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)18:06 No.2664790
    "OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your third and final task is to swim across the acid lake outside the palace".

    On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there"?", to which he replied
    "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

    "Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

    "Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

    "OK, pass."

    Once again the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike easily completed his task and returned to the palace for the final time.
    On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
    "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

    "Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

    "Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

    "OK, pass."
    So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

    "Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

    "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.

    "Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

    "Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike, can I marry your daughter now?"
    >> Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)18:07 No.2664796
    "Sure."
    >> Juba, The Baghdad Sniper !1EVr3uyPJI 09/25/08(Thu)18:07 No.2664805
    =D

    That was a good story and you should feel good.
    >> Eidolon !!x4UZsNRzxWG 09/25/08(Thu)18:11 No.2664826
         File :1222380670.png-(23 KB, 432x529, angry11.png)
    23 KB
    >> Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)18:12 No.2664836
    FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

    but I lol'd
    >> Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)18:13 No.2664842
    Pretty good story man
    >> Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)18:13 No.2664847
    >>2664752
    here

    I first heard this story years ago as "the White Knight on the White Horse" and while this doesn't look so bad written, imagine listening to someone telling the whole joke (which actually includes -3- dragon slayings, each with a "halt who goes i am the not the yes the well then etc" conversation).

    It's horrifying.
    >> in the same vein as story 1 Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)18:39 No.2665066
    Once there was a young man... we'll call him Timmy. Now Timmy, being a strapping young lad of the 41st millenium, had a healthy interest in the ladies. Upon the advice of some of his mates in the Imperial Guard, he elected to show these feelings to a beautiful young Sister... we'll call her Suzie.
    So one day at lunch Timmy approaches Suzie with flowers in hand. A rose, a tulip, and a daisy specifically. "Suzie I-" he began.

    "Are those for me?" she asked, horrified. He backed up, dropping the flowers as he did. This only made her rage worse. He spent the next three days in the infirmary.

    On the third day Timmy's sergeant popped in to check up on him. "So, Private, what happened to you?"

    "Well sir, you see I really like this Sister so I asked the guys what to do and they told me to get her flowers so I went out and picked some and she -decked- me!"

    The sergeant furrowed his brow. "Well, what flowers did you pick?"

    "A rose, a tulip, and a daisy," replied the young Guardsman.

    The sergeant's face grew grim and he immediately left the room. He returned a moment later with a Commissar in tow. "Guardsman, tell this man what you just told me."

    Timmy, relieved to see -someone- cared about the Sister's actions, was all too happy. "Well sir, you see I really like this Sister Suzie so I asked the guys what to do and they told me to get her flowers so I went out and picked some and she -decked- me! Then I spent three days here in the infirmary and finally Sarge checked up on me and so I told -him- the story and he went to get you!"

    The Commissar furrowed his brow. "Well what were the flowers?"

    "A rose, a tulip, and a daisy."
    >> Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)18:40 No.2665073
    The Commissar's eyes widened. "Sergeant, have this man dishonorably discharged immediately. If I see even a hint of his face within a lightyear's distance of me I'll have whatever planet he's on vaporized immediately." The two men left the room.

    A week later young Timmy, still horribly confused, was back home with his parents. He maintained a brooding silence for the first three days of his return. Finally his mother broke the awkward silence over lunch. "Honey, do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

    Timmy sighed. If anyone would understand, it'd be his mother, right? So he began: "Well mom I really really had a crush on this Sister Suzie back with the Guard so I asked some of my friends what I should do about it. They told me to get her some flowers, so I went out and picked some. When I tried to give them to her she laid me out and I was in the infirmary for three whole days! Then, I finally think I'm getting some sympathy when the Sergeant comes in, but when -he- hears the story he just goes to get the Commissar. Once the -Commissar- hears the story he gets all indignant on me and throws me off the planet!"

    Timmy's mother patted his hand. "Well son, what flowers did you give her?"
    >> Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)18:40 No.2665079
    "A rose, a tulip, and a daisy. I don't even kn-" He stopped, seeing his mother's eyes suddenly full of rage.

    "Out. Out. Get out of my house. If I see you again I'll get a multimelta and burn your filthy hands off."

    As Timmy fled the house he heard his mother shouting something about "NO SON OF MINE WOULD EVER blah blah blah"

    Timmy walked the streets all afternoon. In the evening he bumped into an apparently homeless Chaos Cultist hanging out under an overpass.

    "Son," said the cultist. "You look down. Come have a sit and talk about it."

    Timmy sighed heavily. A cultist? How low had he sunk? But, if anyone knew what the hell was going on this guy would so...: "So I used to be a guardsman, until about a fortnight ago that is. I had taken a liking to this Sister and so I asked some of my buddies in the guard what to do about it. They told me to get her some flowers, so I went and picked some out and when I tried giving them to her she punched me in the face! I spent three days in the infirmary alone... So finally the Sarge comes to check up on me. When I tell him the story he goes and gets the Commissar. When the Commissar hears the story he throws me out of the Guard and off the planet. I finally get home, and when my mom of all people hears the story SHE TOO throws me out."

    "Well, what flowers did you try and give the girl?"

    "A rose, a tulip, and a daisy."
    >> Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)18:41 No.2665084
    The cultist paused for a minute. "Well I have no goddamn idea what that means." Timmy looked up, hopeful. "There's a library just down the street. Let's go see if there's anything about this written in there."

    As the two made to leave the underpass, a drop pod of Angry Marines smashed into them, killing both instantly.
    >> sage sage 09/25/08(Thu)18:47 No.2665154
    >>2665084
    FFFF
    >> Juba, The Baghdad Sniper !1EVr3uyPJI 09/25/08(Thu)18:47 No.2665156
    >>2665084
    :(
    >> Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)18:49 No.2665176
    >>2665084
    wat
    >> Just some Writefag 09/25/08(Thu)18:58 No.2665249
    >>2665154
    >>2665156
    >>2665176
    Your fury fills me with unbridled glee.
    >> Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)19:00 No.2665263
    >>2665249
    That's okay, I'll pay you back by commissioning furry/Flare Angry Marine pics
    >> Just some Writefag 09/25/08(Thu)19:03 No.2665287
         File :1222383820.png-(529 KB, 900x750, raaaaaaaaaaaaaaage.png)
    529 KB
    >>2665263
    Touché.
    >> Juba, The Baghdad Sniper !1EVr3uyPJI 09/25/08(Thu)19:06 No.2665304
    >>2665263
    /r/ the flare in angry marine scout armor pic ploz.
    >> Anonymous 09/25/08(Thu)19:09 No.2665324
         File :1222384142.jpg-(16 KB, 163x342, y so angry.jpg)
    16 KB
    Sorry this is the angriest thing I had


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