>>2782503
PROTIP: Canvass all magical shops. Determine who purchased or commissioned Locate City spells within the last five days.

I homebrew'd a spell that could summon a small very foulmouthed/lecherous construct to distract guards etc. with.
The PCs just summoned like 12 of them and sent them into a nunnery.
Then they got chased out of the town by an angry mob that lynched the rogue.

The pcs got pissed off at that so later on in the campaign they sent a dragon at the town to get the rogue's body back. Instead it was swarmed by the tiny constructs (which had multiplied) and humped to death.

My group once missed the entire story arc by going to a show and failing every single perception roll and completely missing the fact that the skaven murdering people on stage were real.

>Instead it was swarmed by the tiny constructs (which had multiplied) and humped to death.

...Oh wow.

>>2782609


hahah, Rat-men? What other fairy tales would you have me believe?

>>2782609
Which you took as a lesson that hinging your entire adventure arc on the PCs succeeding a perception-type check is retarded, the same lesson everyone who's ever run CoC to frustration has learned?

Well, our party had managed to get caught up in church business. The current head of the church had had the previous head assassinated, plus she had made repeated attempts on our life. We had met her before in the game, so we knew what to look for.

This didn't quite work out with us, so we went to assassinate her. It was working well for awhile, as we had tracked her to her next base of operations and my character was fully set to make a plan once we gathered more information.

However, I made the mistake of asking our bard to go talk to people. I should've known better, but it wasn't like I had much choice at the time either.

So the bard goes to try to do this. First thing that happens? The dumbass tells a church guard his name and what we were planning. Needless to say, we were almost arrested repeatedly for a looooooong time afterwards. Even later on two of us DID get arrested because the dumbass bard left his expensive gear in the inn and we had to fetch it.

>>2782646

why was he so dumb

>>2782639

Exactly. That and sitting through a half hour of the GM describing assorted nastiness while we consistantly fucked our rolls was brilliant. He had to pull a GM fiat and have it so we witnessed some ratmen sneaking out after the show. Curious as to why the actors would leave in costume, we followed.

>>2782637

We were knee deep in Skaven viscera, and all our characters still refuse to believe in a Rat-man under kingdom and hold firm to the ideal that it was just a bunch of chaos loving loons who liked their costumes.

>>2782655
you should've turned them into men in costume for real

and figure out the whole Skaven Hoax right then and there

>>2782652
Because his player was an incompetent moron, that's why.

>>2782668

One of them WAS a guy in costume. In that campaign Altdorf went through a civil war thanks to the reprecussions and the accusation that Manfred Skaven-Slayer was nothing more than a conspirator in an elaborate hoax to force a Sigmarite backed Elector onto the throne. Our campaign sidetrack turned into it's own story as we tride to stop a civil war from tearing the Empire apart.

The most epic failure that ever happend in my tabletop group was when the dumbass player(which we have since then goten rid off) tossed a bead of force into the melée of another player. He was surounded by enemies, so he could take the hit, while they could not.

He only conviniently forgot the fact that the enemies exploded upon death. Yes, they had quaffed a potion that made them explode for 5d6 damage upon death. We had fought these for quite a few rounds, so it's not like he didn't know it. He was just being an idiot and an ass.


The player that got the bead of force tossed at him was surounded by 4 enemies, whom all died to the bead explosion, as well as the the ensuing chain reaction of bodysplosisions. Needless to say, the force bubble that forms after the tossing of a bead of force was completly red.

We then unceremonialy executed the player's characters for his betrayal, and complete dumbassery.

Well our DM had spent 2wks prepping an encounter with some sort of gargantuan fire elemental thing. So we're of course sweating pretty bad when our Druid (at least I think she was playing a Druid) says "Hey is this thing an outsider? Because I have a banishment spell and . . ." So the DM has to look it up and yes it is, so our Druid casts Banishment. anway make along story short the DM had planned to put us through a wringer and the Druid cast a spell with a save most 3rd level PC's could mak and the CR15 Elemental rolls a Nat1 on it's save, for all the players to see. Needles to say our DM started using a screen for rolling after that.

>>2782684
Elementals aren't Outsiders.

it happened last week.

we were sent in to do a drug bust for the town guard. when we got to the house, it was some small-time dude just chilling. My rogue was doing the talking, and shooting the shit with this guy, and he started to just...jumble his words, totally my fault. So finally the rogue just put his head down, and came around with a sap to his head, knocking him out in a 3d6 bludgeoning blow.

BUT WAIT, THATS NOT ALL! the guy we knocked out was waiting to pick up a large stash of drugs from an unnamed dealer, who happened to be the real target. The real target, a halfling, comes in with two brutish half-orcs, and it starts all over again, chat chat, etc. I go to get him the money I owe him for the drugs...and, oh what? The 2000 gold becomes my new sap.

All hell breaks loose, and my companions jump out from behind a false wall, beat them to unconciousness, and bring the whole lot back to the guard for their bounty.

Rolling as an everquest lizardman(chaotic evil), we were investigating some shit in a black market. The guy I was partnered with was interogating this guy. I snuck up behind him, and put my knife to his throat to intimidating him. After we got our data , I slit his throat,assuming
1) That it was night
2) Because this was a black market there were no guards.

neither were true. I got hung.

Same game, I was a troll, and we were raiding a castle. We reach the top floor, where the king and queen's chambers were. There was also a fork in the path, with 2 other rooms to each side of the royal chamber. I slammed through the door, alerting the 2 butlers and many guards withing the rooms, and ran into a high level wizard king and queen.

I got shredded in half

>>2782690

True, but they do have the Extraplanar subtype, which is what Banisment targets.

On the other hand, that's not a druid spell.

Alright, let's see...
Well, I can think of two recent instances (Shadowrun).
The first dazzling display of idiocy was when my PCs were trying to kill a man by luring him into a tent rigged to blow. To sum it up, one of the PCs detonated the explosives while the other two were inside, 'cuz they were invisible.
The other instance was in the same night, with the same PCs (they managed to survive the explosion). This time they were raiding a house. One guy went in through the back, invisible, and the other two went through the front door, invisible. They ended up unloading into each other, leading to one death.

>>2782503

Edinburgh Uni rp soc. Hai guise!

>>2782503

Aren't red dragons immune to fire, though? An explosion would barely even bother it.

>>2783029
HEAT IS NOT THE ONLY COMPONENT OF AN EXPLOSION.

>>2783033

In an explosion that size, the main damage is going to be a burst of superheated air destroying everything. That wouldn't even dent a red dragon. There might be some debris, of course, but I doubt that would even faze a dragon.

We got killed by our DM's Wild Dog ripoff. The next time we fought him, we managed to kill him at the cost of half our party and the survivors being close to death (from 1 hp to 4 hp). Guess what? He fucking exploded. And it counted as a maximized flame strike at caster level 30.

>>2782503
That isn't in-game epic fail: that's *Darwinism*.

>>2783036
Actually, this would be the result of explosives used in movie special effects. Real explosives (presumably, depending on type) would have most of their damage potential in the shockwave of expanding air or the thermobaric differential. Not to mention all of the shrapnel-generating shit the PCs attached to it.

>>2783036

>alot of debris

My group once ended a campaign before it started by accidentally slaughtering the entire village we were all supposed to meet up in.

It started with some incredibly bad rolls by the rogue. He was sneaking around on the rooftops, acting all badass, when he rolls a couple of ones to move silently and the DM rules he falls through the straw roof into a kitchen, making a ton of noise and alerting half the people in the village (this DM liked coming up with complicated shit to happen whenever someone got an extreme roll). When some guards come over, he pulls out a crossbow and takes a shot at one of them, misses, and impales a little girl who was standing behind the guard instead. The kid was carrying a bonfire torch which lights her on fire along with the building that the party is in. The whole village is now pissed off and coming to kill us, so we run outside and delayed blast fireball the building with the most people in it. At this point the DM gave up as we had incinerated the entire leadership of the village as well as anyone in the village who would know about the quest they would have given us to start the campaign going.

>>2783073
>a lot of debris

>>2783036
At ground zero?
I think the impact would be far more dangerous than the heat. Farther out, the dragon would be fine.

>>2783029
>>2783036
An explosion is basically a very rapid expansion of (hot) gas. Sure, the heat may not bother a red dragon, but the shockwave of a shitload of explosives (that's big enough to level a city) WILL crush you to a pulp if you're in the middle of it.

Not to mention you apparently missed this part:
>mix it with nails, rocks, and all kinds of scrap metal
If one thing, the players knew how to make an explosion as deadly as possible with the means they had.

>>2783629

And a dragon's far, far tougher than a human, with hard ass scales. Nails and wood are going to simply bounce off.

>>2783708

>>However, when digging up some dirt about the guy, they eventually put two and two together and find out he's actually a red dragon in human form.

Not in human form it isn't.

>>2783708
>They get every possible explosive or otherwise harmful substance they can get their hands on, mix it with nails, rocks, and all kinds of scrap metal, and pack it in crates in the warehouse

It's not just nails and wood (apart from the shockwave). Apart from the explosion, there'd likely be poisons, harmful magics, kryptonite and all kinds of other crazy shit.

It's not quite a "fail", as the adventure continued on afterwards, but nonetheless it was an epic misadventure.

I was DM for a Dark Heresy group, and the party of Acolytes were meeting in a private compartment in a train's first class carriage. This was the first session of the campaign, so I decided to ease them in to the adventure with a brief, simple scenario where the contact they were to meet on the train spooked an agitated and panicky thief (a businessman who had been embezzling funds from his corporation and was trying to flee offworld with a trunk of money) who subsequently became frisky with a stub gun.

The thief was subdued with no real trouble, but before the transport police arrived... the party fell to arguing over whether to keep the case of cash the criminal was carrying.

Cue no less than TWO HOURS of grapple checks, hallucinogen grenades, people locking themselves in the toilet, inventive use of thermal goggles, torn clothes and an unnecessary amount of gunfire.

The players were enjoying themselves so I decided to let them carry on (dropping a quick fiat to bring them back onto the plot at the end of the session), but the whole scene was so catastrophic a train wreck I'm surprised that the train wasn't actually wrecked....!

>>2783838
What is this inventive use you speak of?

>>2783099
That rogue sounds like a faggot, I'm hoping you all beat his ass afterward.

>>2783838

I lol'd hard.

Great thread

Read it.
ALL of it.

>>2784462

Overposted and overplayed.

>>2784465

It hasn't been posted in a WHILE actually.

>>2784462
Always a classic.

Saw friend get framed and lynch for own murder.

>>2784538
Do you mean she got framed and lynched for murdering HERSELF, or that she got framed and lynched for a crime she actually committed?

>>2784538

>>2784462

I loled.

Let me thinks...

This was a homebrewed game which was considerably very loose in roleplaying, but we tried to stay in character at least sometimes. Used modified 3e so don't be surprised if some of the rules and methods sound weird.

---

My party (The forget the exact level, but was 11 to 15) were sent to investigate a possible meeting of dragons in a valley that naturally had to be located in the highest fucking mountains ever. So, we went to the meeting spot and waited for the dragons to arrive.

DM rolls a his dice, started to speak then stopped. He checked his notes, scribbled down some stuff, and rolled again. He then went through several books searching, then rolled again. His eyes go wide.

Paladin: "What's taking so long DM?"

DM (clears throat): " 'You see a... giant mass of figures in the distant sky. You can tell they are dragons, but something is wrong. There seem to be more than anticipated...'."

Mage (frowning): "How many are there?"

DM: "... All of them."

Me (Fighter): "What do you mean? All red dragons? White? Black?"

DM: "No. Every. Single. Dragon."
---

We ended up taking out about 12 before we died.

>>2784625
Every single dragon? Like, in the world?

>>2784641
Big valley, apparently.

>>2784641
no man.


IN EXISTENCE.

>>2784641

Yep. Every single one. Like I said, we were in it for the fun, not the accuracy of the game. And we died like Spartans (except without the gay Persian).

>>2784649

Yeah. Very big. How else would you fit every single dragon in there? jk, most just flew overhead while we took on 2 to 3 at a time. The DM kept a record of it, so I'll see if I can find the whole thing. Just remembering most of it off the top of my head.

Including homebrew kinds of dragons that were created after the campaign ended.

>>2784649
Lol

>>2784676

Of course. The we even Jewish dragons.

Group was running Basic Fantasy.

We had three players and myself, the DM. The party was a thief, mage, and fighter. I played a cleric.

So, the players are leading a big group of explorers to an island previously unexplored. First night they're there, camp is set up and the ridiculously French level-one thief decides she wants to steal shit from the men-at-arms hired to protect her.

Good fucking idea, right?

Absolutely botches her move silently roll and ends up getting chased out of camp by the fighter and a nude NPC. She manages to escape into the woods, after which the fighter declares:

"I'm going to look for her."

>>2784625
haha

>>2784703
At this point I decided, "what the hell, I'll let them self-TPK."

So the fighter goes into the forest and pokes around. The thief makes a hide in shadows....

And fucks it up.

Fighter finds her in a bush and pounds her with his greataxe, dealing her 12 damage when she only had 3 hp left.

Not the most epic story, but definitely stupid.

>>2783006
Dundee says hi.

One of my groups went on an assassination run that went horribly, horribly wrong, led to the bloody evisceration of everyone in the goddamned mansion, the killing of an innocent ghost, and the euthanization of at least 20 dogs, not to mention the fact that the mansion burned to the ground shortly after they left.

Which would normally be an awesome way to carry out an assassination, except they were told specifically to not leave any evidence.

Gnome Rape:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37WlxhMF2dA

Food Fight:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN00029FSKk

Not rick rolls...

My party got TPK'd by an awakened pineapple.

>>2784943
How the fuck is that even possible?

>>2784943

What the hell game were you playing?

>>2784462
So wait, he killed the orc warlord? Thats not very failure. Thats not very failure at all.

>>2784943
we demand an explanation about this matter that concern me a lot.

>>2784984
It's EPIC failure. It's what we are talking about in this thread. Waky waky.

>>2784989
Seconded.

>>2784943

screw that, talking flying tacos that shoot LASERS,
true story

>>2784996
You must be fucking kidding me.

>>2784968

Exalted.

>>2784847
>>the killing of an innocent ghost
lol wut

>>2784943
I let forth a hearty lol.

>>2785002

i shit you not, DM found rules and every thing...

>>2785008

The ghost game to warn them about a possessed dagger.

They stabbed it in the face with the same possessed dagger before it could talk.

The thing poofed.

So we’re playing this mash up RPG with pretty much everything under the sun in it. We’re basically on planet L5R trying to save the Empress from a coup. The Daimyo themselves were involved, and had nasty ass combat skills and equipment. But the hardest battle that day was against a mook from clan Hare. He was a red shirt who apparently stolen batman’s plot armor. The two melee guys were double teaming the poor bastard. One of which was more dangerous (in combat) that the rest of the party combined. Neither of them could land a damn hit. They just rolled that poorly. Eventually the Hare got knocked out with a hilt to the sternum, because we decided we liked him too much to kill him.

>>2785004
EXALTED!

>>2785004
What, were you playing heroic mortals or something?

>>2784958
>>2784968
>>2784989
1) We were ambushed by it.
2) The DM stole the power of the dice gods.
3) IT WAS A GODDAMNED PINEAPPLE, AND WE DIDN'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.

homebrew starcraft game, one PC gets a siege tank working and checks the battlefield for targets, locates a group of zergs strangelly close together on the distance and fires away, apparently he forgot that the rest of the party, 3 dark templars and 1 ghost where figting there.

later same player blew demolition explosives on the base of a building when they where on the second floor of the building, because he saw enemies entering on the first floor.

>>2785071
Exalted. The only game where you can get ambushed and mangled by a pineapple.

>>2784943

Awakened Pineapple?

...Was your DM a Gundamfag? Because I think I see what he did there.

>>2785117
Yeah, he likes Gundam. What did he do?

>>2785071
>2) The DM stole the power of the dice gods.
"Dice"?

>>2785084
Would like to know bout this homebrew Starcraft game.

>>2785129

>>2785129

First step is rolling for anal circumference.

>>2785119

Thought so. It was an Awakened Pineapple SALAD.

If only you had a /m/an on your team you could have had the foresight to GTFO of there.

>>2785123
Sorry, I meant power of the LUCK GODS.

Goddamn pineapple.

>>2785143
Educate me. Awakened pineapple salad jumping around mauling people? Why? Since when?

Went into a pyramid to explore. My party keeps going as I was "too tired" to continue. As I sit down, some time later, a trap is activated.
Pic related to what happened.

>>2785143
But... pineapple salad was Robotech, not Gundam

>>2785148
so it was CURSED!?!

>>2785156

It's more likely than you think

>>2785156
Macross. Roy Fokker got his plane/mecha shot from under him, and instead of going to a hospital or something to get his wounds checked out, he decides it's time to eat delicious pineapple salad instead. He bleeds to death while eating.

Man, if only that Ranger guy was here. I'd like to see how that villain would handle an awakened pineapple imported into his game.

Sure, it'd take some converting. But it'd be hilarious.

>>2785148
No, I mean, no perfect defenses? At all?

also a dark heresy story,
my players were tracking down a cult built under a nightclub that they had just massacred in the name of the emperor.
under the night club was a passage to a sewer system, in which a cult of a particular god of decay we all know and love, was brewing a rather evil and virulent cauldron of goop.

the party bust in and throw makeshift molotov cocktails they had made in the night club, before gunning everyone down that isnt burning (funny how movies portray cultist robes to be doused in gasoline eh?)
they butcher the cult faster than the cybernetic bouncers who they cut up prior in the night club, and whats the first thing the red redemptionist does when everyones dead?

kick the cauldron right INTO the sewer system..

after the loud splash, and 'oh shi-' moment,
the dual pistolero character says "uhm.. lets NOT tell our lord inquisitor about this part"

the red redemptionist replies "i'm actualy quite 'okay' with that.."

and thus the walking dead will be plaguing the underhive of that hive city for quite some time, and the inquisitor will never discover the truth of the matter..

>>2785195
One does not simply perfect defence against a pineapple.

My bad, it was Macross, although I think Gundam has referenced it at least once.

But yes, the dreaded Pineapple Salad is to be feared. I'm afraid you learned your lesson the hard way.

>>2785200

Pineapples. The silent killer

It was a level 1 3.5 adventure. Hobgoblin Fighter, Hobgoblin Rogue, Half-Orc Barbarian, Elf Wizard.

So these Orcs had razed some village to the ground, and were building up from the remains. We were making a hideout out of one of the surviving houses that they've left alone. At night we went out and planned on finding the commander and assassinating him. So we find his little.. Hut thing with two Orcs guarding the front, and the Rogue sneaks up on the guards, planning on killing one, while the Wizard readies an action to cast sleep on the second guard the moment the first one dies.

Well, the Rogue misses the first stab. Natural 1. The DM goes "Uhh, he doesn't notice, just go again." Another natural 1.

The Barbarian panics and charges the Orcs, screaming like a madman, which alerted most of the encampment.

The DM was feeling generous seeing as how this was our first adventure and he hadn't planned it very well. So basically, the Orc Chieftain tied us up and told us to fight a Black Bear and a Grizzly Bear with our BEAR hands. Apparently the Chieftain was fucking insane and loved making puns.

(continued)

>>2785285
(continued)

So we're in this cabin that was a part of the old village, with a bunch of Orc guards there to make sure something didn't go wrong. Well, they weren't planning on us beating the Bears in initiative and dashing behind their lines. The bears proceed to freak out and start attacking the guards. Our Rogue grabs a torch and lights the cabin on fire, and we all jump through a window.

As the cabin was burning down we hear the Chieftain's last words.

"The pain! It's un-BEARable!"

>>2785200
On the contrary. Weird-ass assassin automatons or creatures should be perfect defense right away, imho. Well, now you know so...

>>2785297
That's more funny than FAIL

I tried to do this. I stumble and fall. The zombies feast with my entrails.
Time elapsed: ten seconds.

I was DM'ing a game of Dark Heresy when this happened:

The party was on a hive world in a civil war and was tasked with helping the loyalist guards to enter the hive of the renegade general in charge of the uprising and kill him and a cult leader before they can summon daemons to turn the war in their favor.

Anyways, after a sneaking around the enemy lines and looking for a way to get the loyalist army into the hive, they were lucky enough to stumble upon a baneblade that broke down before getting to the frontlines, killed off the its crew, and repaired the baneblade.

Now of all the things they could've done with it (sneak into the hive, fuck with renegade guardsmen, etc.) they decided to drive it back to the home front and use it a assault on the hive with the rest of the loyalists. That wasn't the stupid part of their plan; the stupid part was when they all forgot to radio to the loyalists that they're coming back with a big fucking tank for them.

So the entrenched forces did what sane army of the Imperium would do if a baneblade with Chaos marking was coming right at them: they blew the living shit out of it. The lone baneblade was pounded with a combination of arty barrages and an airstrike until the party members that didn't die yet decided to get the fuck out of the burning wreckage...and then proceeded to get blown up by a vulture gunship.

>>2785330

Well, the two missed backstabs was the fail part, then getting tied up.

But yeah.

>>2785129
not that anon reporting in, but just use GURPS or FUDGE or something

>>2785340
Why... why would you want a zombie loli?

>>2785468

Hot dickings

>>2785468

Why wouldn't you?

>>2785495
It'd probably be more like Cold Dickings at that point

>>2785514

Hey man zombie sex is like beer...

nothin like crackin open a cold one

>>2785285
>>2785297
Wrong, that isn't fail.
That is win baby.

I have a feeling that the Awakened Pineapple will have an expanded role the next time we see it....

The oaf went down, and we went to full route. I focused purely on stealth, and quaffed a non detection potion to boot.

My companion couldn't outrun a lightning bolt, but I make it into the woods. I run ful tilt for a bit, (I think I had a barbarian level and was running in a rage. 1 level of barbarian and instaneous rage can really increase your longevity.)


Ring's of sustenance are cheap, and just wonderfully affective. I hide in a tree for a couple days.

I worked my way towards the portal we used to get in, but find it close. I stay in the nearby tree line, and wait to see if anything comes out of the portal.

Eventually another party of adventurous comes through the portal, ally shiny and new looking.

I sprint past them, and fling myself through their portal before it closes. I scream some warning to turn and flee. I actually get to see one of them dismembered by some beast the arch wizard had sent to guard the portat.


I arrive back in the same wasteland we'd entered the portal from. At some point I picked been poisoned or cursed in this whole process, and I pass out before I make it back to civilization.

While the DM is starting to explain what had caused me to pass out, I quickly ask if I get a saving throw.

I roll the most welcomed 20 I'd ever tossed, and the DM seems genuinely annoyed at the die. He rules I last in a coma long enough for another party heading to it's doom to stumble upon me and for their cleric to revive me.

That half-orc has developed a deranged sense of paranoia.

>>2785557
he just wanted to brag

What's this about zombie lolis? Get back on track, Anon, THIS is what you should be worried about.

>>2785862
Is that thar some Ideon?

not an epic fail but a definate WTF moment. an NPC was an efreet alchemist who instead of using magic used alchemy to blow shit up. our crew had the task of hunting him down. so we started stocking up on anti fire measures to go after him. well when we run up on him finally he presses his magical ring and he disappears and a bomb goes off. we were ready for this tho with dragon skin armor and rings of fire resistance and such, well the bomb wasn't a heat bomb, it was an endothermic reaction that made everything cold.
after that we were a bit cautious and ended up swapping our rings of fire resistance for rings of cold resistance. and a few guys toted frostbrands.

We ended a game all drowning on a huge alluvion of mayonnayse. One of us was locked in a refrigerator. Don't ask details about the match i DON'T KNOW how we went that far.

>>2785495
Cold dickings, you mean.

>>2785692
Man, if this had been more coherent, it seems like it would have had much win. As is I spent too much time trying to figure out what the fuck was going on to enjoy it.

Shadowrun, in a bar seeking information one guy pulls some flash cash to try and get some answers. Starts waving around a 20,000$ (or whatever it used for monies) credstick.

One bar brawl later everyone's out on the street and out of cash.

I forgot the exact stats but in starwarsd20, I was piloting a gargantuan mecha and my opponent was a large blue alien. After defeating all the enemies in the volcanic crater we were in, I spotted the sneaky traitor up on a high cliff trying to escape. Once I got to his position, I failed a touch attack to initiate grapple which is pretty bad by itself but here's where it gets epic.

The DM decides to be a smart ass and have it trip me. What were the chances that it would succeed? For the opposed strength check, he rolls a 20 and I roll a 1. The fucker trips me off a cliff where i take massive falling damage and get knocked out (spending a force point to not die which is broken btw).

>>2784462

This is INCREDIBLE. I can only pray it was true.

>>2786120
Shadowrun, the PCs completely bungle a stealth run and are holed up.

One PC finds C4, and thinking this is D&D, decides to blow up the fucking building with it.

>>2786625
It is also older than dirt.

>>2782684
Reason #432 why I prefer 4th: No more "I win if you fail your save" spells.

>>2783099
Was your group good, or evil?

>>2784625
DM should not let random dice rolls screw over his players. That should be the DM's job, not the dice.

>>2783036
D&D =/= science. There are no atoms, no molecules, no laws of conservation of matter or energy. Bombs go off because of elemental energy (the periodic table of elements in D&D does not have iron or cadmium or oxygen, but only earth, air, fire, and water) or alternately, because the gods say they do.

>>2789092
And if it's set in the east, they also have Wood and Metal.

They entered the castle through the sewers, disintegrated the toilet with the queen on it and killed her, fireballed the king in the face, kidnapped the king's baby son and attempted to steal the kingdom's treasure with all of the guards following them. While trying a stealth approach for a particular mission.

Fail on my DM's part here, brace yourselves.

D&D 3.5, all the players wanted to be in a nice generic fantasy campaign. Nothing special. DM starts us off pursuing goblins who were attacking a small defenseless hamlet. The party was 1) An angst ridden human fighter, a retarded dwarf barbarian, a richboy human rogue, the mysterious type cleric, and the angry wizard (Myself). We rid the hamlet of its problem then decide to travel to the main city. The DM charges us 500g to enter (BECUZ YOU GAIS HAV SO MUCH MONEY) then, as we're shopping we're robbed blind by pickpockets. The rogue rolled a 19 + whatever modifier he had and we still could stop 50 gold being stolen every time we turned out backs. We wanted to go into an inn and rest, we were charged 500 yet again. After draining us of every gp we had earned he has a man known as Commissioner Gorden approach us saying he'll pay top dollar to take in the Joker. We go along with it and end up fighting joker robots for two sessions. We finally find the joker and the whole fight takes eight repetitive hours of "You miss" "He hits" "Y so srs >:3"

Robots, Batman, and impossible saves. Yeah, no. no.

Shadowrun: Cybernetic Str boosted Troll... with the max Str he could get on his profile. Hotel... made out of concrete... Pft, who needs doors... or stairs... Wait... that was an outside wall... o fu

One time a small forum-based RP I was involved in crashed and burned after the GM disappeared for a few months without explanation.Turned out he was having a certain surgery...

I am likely the only fa/tg/uy to ever hold the honor(?) of having a campaign foiled due to the GM getting a sex change.

>>2789166
That's awful.

A homebrew system from way back in my sophomore year of high school.
I was playing a drow wizard (I'd just discovered Drizz't; I realize my shame), friend 1 was a Kenshin Himura clone, friend 2 was some dragonthing, and friend 3 was some kind of robot thing. Friend 1 and 2 were primarily melee fighters, 3 was a gunner/mage, and I was a melee/mage (I preferred the term kamikaze mage).

Anywho. I'd obtained like, a billion scrolls of "Summon Something". Think Rod of Wonders, but the results being whatever the hell the GM felt like.

We'd entered a chamber with a huge ass hole between us and the exit. Friend 1 and 2 try to jump it and fail horribly. The fall ends up killing them, but they had resurrect items so they were fine. They just had no way back up. Friend 3 (who has an ability usable once every five real time minutes to do whateverthefuckhewants) uses his haxability to teleport to the other side. I try one of my scrolls, hoping for a bridge. Instead, lava. Like, Mt. St. Helen's lava. Friend 2, despite being a firebased character, crispified, rez'd, burned, died, burned again, rez'd again, and ran out of rez items. Friend 1 used his swordsman abilities to tunnel his way up, but ended up getting caught as the lava flowed up his hole. Once the lava stopped, I just used my cloak of flying and flew over the hole while we waited the five minutes to hax them back to life.

>>2789264
i never got the point of bullshit homebrew abilities in campains
if you gonna let your players do 'LOL WEZ PASSD TEH OBSTEKL' for the sake of feeding them another part of your story, better white it all down and give it to them to read.
that`s not even a game, ffs

>>2789512
eh, the real fun of that game wasn't "let's hax our way through the fight", it was more "how can I fuck this thing up without getting my own shit wrecked by the GM". Especially when the GM somehow managed to keep track of what abilities/gear everyone had in his head, and would suit encounters to where only certain abilities/items/combosthereof would work. He also jewishly haxed the 5minute ability if it would just win the encounter.

It was a lot of fun, loosen up.