This.

Ah, well, yes. That.

I'll just let someone else explain.

My word! Sir Brian! It's been ages, do you still enjoy a good cup of darjeeling?

>>2831314
My first impulse was "are those cliff racers"?

>>2831334

Of course! My brief spelljammer voyage did not affect my mind, you know! Ho ho!

In fact, that's a capital idea. I know this great little coffee shop run by a rather splendid chap, a follower of Mystra or somesuch. I'm sure things will be much clearer once I've had a cuppa.

Be right back!

What.

>>2831434

THAT'S A FANCY FUCKING MONOCLE.

>>2831434
Nothing to be worried about, sir! Simply some minor renovations! We'll have it all cleaned up by the time you return.

Right guys?

Ahhh, Sir Consumptington, it's been a long time since we've had the pleasure of being your hosts.

>>2831296

I had nothing to do with any of it. ¬.¬

>>2831512
I don't doubt that, but could you get some of your servants to aid in cleaning up?

>>2831434
Oh, it gets worse.

Who in Thoon's name is Abeir and why does he put mammaries on his lizardfolk?

>>2831618
He's a delusional god, who decided to create his own race to sate hi ssick desires. It's best to ignore him.

>>2831618

Don't look at me, I didn't do it this time!

>>2831512
You're a god all of a sudden. I bet you did have something to do with it.

Oooooooooooooooh dear.

>>2831763
S-Sir Brian? There's nothing in there you need to be seeing, Sir Brian. Oh look, the tea's ready. Would you like a cup?

>>2831763
Sir Brian theres no way you can fix these things is there?

>>2831835

I suppose one could do something about it if a psionic rift in time could be formed, but I'm afraid that's out of my capability.

What do I look like, an elder brain?

>>2831876
well actually...

>>2831876

>>2831886
DON'T BELIEVE HIM!

I'm sorry, Sir Brian, the changes to Faerun are affecting some of us more than others.

>>2831876
Its just you always give us good advice Sir Brian and right now.... Faerun is in ruins and many of us dont know how to go on.....

>>2831876
don't be silly Sir, everyone knows elder brains are horrendous blobs of aberrant encephalic matter incapable of any form of culture or refinement.

>>2831876
>I suppose one could do something about it if a psionic rift in time could be formed
I do believe Professor Aldwin Psurlon was working on something along those lines.

>>2831928
DEATH TO THE HERETIC!

On the upside, Thay is dead.

>>2831946
The Dalek or the Brain?

>>2831929

Oh, sure. Everyone always looks to time travel to solve their problems.

Believe me, lad, it's not worth it. You make ONE little alteration just so one little date with a charming elf woman ends up well and suddenly you're being followed by overweight fellow hominids with red shirts and strange ideas about what constitutes a proper beard, ranting and raving about "canon" and reality falling apart. The next thing you know, you're knee-deep in entrails and balor bollocks on the 73rd layer of the Abyss and you've forgotten what this had to do with your timeline-restoring adventure in the first place.

Then when you finally set things "right", all the flumph mysteriously disappear, you need to hire a new maid and your pillow is gone.

>>2831876
Hey, you could check with those Mind Flayers. I heard they travelled back from the future.

Of course, I doubt you'd have even heard of them.

>>2831938

>>2831974
Oh, on the subject of maids, Sir Brian...

Did you hear about that new book that's being passed among the lower classes? It seems they've created an entire diversion all their own, for playing maids! How absurd can those dullards get?

>>2831974
Oh dear

>>2831974
Well, you were the one who brought it up.

>>2831986
I don't know some Maids could be rather useful. I know of some items that allow for the Master to have incredible power. I mean allowing a Lord of the house to possess an atomic weapon

>>2832013
Oh, certainly, but that anyone would over-glorify the job of serving woman in that way!

I must wonder if Mister Rood will return soon.

Sir Brian Consumptington is alive? That means theres still hope for us.

Hello there, Sir Brian. I do not believe we have met. I am Anonymous Jr., pleased to meet you.

>>2831986

Ha ha! How droll.

...

Remind me to visit a bookstore later, will you?

>>2832012

Yes. Well.

...

Hmmm. Young lady, are you looking for work?
And you know, I think I could live with this. I am nothing if not calm in the face of change, and besides, my property investments on the Halruuan coast must be worth millions by now.

>>2832067
Sir Brian! Not you too? I wonder at what odd malady goes through the upper class, that they desire such...peasantry.

>>2832067
Sir! I will not stand someone propositioning me. I am not some whore.

>>2832082

Maybe it's the Spellplague getting to him.

>>2832082
Sir Brian has much to catch up with... I mean with the arrival of the damned dragon and the emergence of the Dorfs

>>2832094
Come now, madam, that's not what my uncle's business partners said over tea last week. There's no need to hide it; even whores can have some rights, eh boys?

GENTLEMEN, I AM IN TEARS NOW. THE RIGHT HONORABLE SIR BRIAN CONSUMPTIONGTON HAS RETURNED. TRULY THIS IS A JOYOUS DAY.

>>2832067
uh....................

>>2832094
I think I may need to re-educate you, young lady.

Holy lobsters its Sir Brian Consumptington!

And all of /tg/ rejoiced for today was the day he returned

Elder brains are a monstrous parasite upon our great society that feed on our young, monitor our thoughts, and spread the false promise of an afterlife! DO NOT TRUST THEM

>>2832135
Thank you for the news but what are you talking about?

>>2832120
>>2832114

WHY HELLO THERE MY DEAR FRIEND!

>>2832094

Yes, yes. But are you a MAID, is my question.

Maybe I should come back later. This is making my head spin. I'll forget my own name trying to process all these new happenings at this rate...

>>2832164

I see what you did there.

>>2832164
Of course, good sir. Take your time. It can be a lot to take in.

>>2832164
Oh, why didn't you say so in the first place. How well does it pay?

>>2832178

I pay very well, miss. When can you start?

>>2832239
Well, I can start now. Also, that hat is filthy! It and the monocle will have to be cleaned immediately.

>>2832272
No. You don't touch a gentleman's monocle.

>>2832272

Of course! Just let me take these off.

>>2832272
give the man a chance to settle in, he's only just got back you know

Sir Brian is a chicken I tell ya! A giant chicken!!

>>2832318
>>2832330
Oh, balderdash.

>>2832344

*drags anonymous away*

>>2832360
What fool thinks that...

>>2832327

BRACE FOR IMPACT

>>2832368
His Disguise skill is actually good enough to stay as Sir Consumptington without the disguise, I'd think.

There. I'm glad I wore layers.

Anyway, I must rest. Welcome back, gentlemen!

>>2832376
Glad to see you again, Sir Brian!

>>2832374
are you implying that Sir Brian Consumptington, one the upstanding gentlemen in the community, is a fraud?

>>2832390
He must be mistaken. Although I could see why he'd go disguised... He did go through rough territory on his journey. Some ruffians do not take kindly to gentlemen such as he.

>>2832390
No, no, good sir! Sir Brian is the dashing gentleman rogue that we all know. However, for the good of all of us, he put on a disguise to walk among the Illithids, and spy upon them. The tophat and monocle are the only things that mark him as the Sir Brian we know, rather than the being he disguises himself as!

Even in this very thread, a number of people have fallen for his exquisite disguise, you'll notice.

>>2832403
Oh my yes. Let us not forget all those times that he's been mistaken for his oafish brother, Bryan Consumington, who has none too few gambling debts hanging over him!

>>2832423
I feel sorry for Sir Brian Consumptington for having such a ruffian disgracing his family name

>>2832407

Some even say that once at a halloween party, he disguised himself as the elder brain, despite the obvious differences between these two ! Oh what a joyful one

>>2832376
I'll just have these cleaned then.
Wait a minute...

>>2832428
HAHA YEAH THAT'D SUCK LOL

>>2832430
What a Clever chap he is!

>>2832438
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!

>>2832428
In fact, I heard that lout once tried to infiltrate high society for reasons that could only be unsavory by disguising himself as our own dear Sir Brian.

Luckily, he had neither the social graces or mental fortitude to pull it off, and the rascal was quickly unmasked and sent packing!

>>2832448

NAAAAAAAA I BIN IN IBIZA WOOOOOOOOOO!!

LOOKIT MA CAWK, I GOT A TRIBAL TATTOO ON IT!!

>>2832430
Oh, yes, but that took some doing. My aunt's boyfriend's sister's mother-in-law helped with that costume, you know.

I hope the brute was spaced...

Wait, Xom's Champion willingly demoted herself to maid?

...Does that mean Xom's taking resumes now?

I hope Brian tells us stories of his vacation

>>2831974

Wait wait wait.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1524260/ ?

>>2832549
I can't do both?
Look, with the way the economy is I have to take up another job. So I'm now a maid, and a champion.

>>2832562

If you're sure you can handle both, hey more power to you. If not, though, hey, I won't judge you.

Just sayin'.

>>2832561
‼
!
What in the devil is this?

I hope Brian tells us stories of his vacation

>>2832569
Well, that and Xom usually pays in random bizarre mutations.