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  • File :1224542821.jpg-(45 KB, 475x356, hobo.jpg)
    45 KB crazy 40k players... Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)18:47 No.2845301  
    So /tg/ I walk into my favorite game store in my local area... fully ready to assemble some crazy customized chaos bikers, when i see a man who all fear from his stench of Nurgle, spray painting his "Penitent Engine"... made from an AT-ST star wars model standing about 9 inches off the ground, cardboard, a medication bottle, pens and finally and horrifically...A fucking plastic tail coming out of the back... I ask him "huh... what army do you play.." He looks at me in a grease filled whisper he states "SPACE PIRATES"... huh... okay whats that coming out of the model? THAT'S MY LASTAIL..what?? IT PENETRATES TANKS AND FIRES LASGUNS INSIDE OF IT.... share your own horror stories
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)18:56 No.2845340
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)18:58 No.2845351
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)18:58 No.2845359
    a real homeless person is too hungry to be funny
    >> Avatar of Funk !lry7nDNzJk 10/20/08(Mon)19:06 No.2845409
    There is this 50-something obease guy at our store who we call Sweat-Drops, because he gets such a workout from playing 40k that he drips sweat onto the board.. He only comes for tournaments and apocalypse battles, because nobody wants to play him on 'casual' days. He plays demonhunters, which consist of old cookie-cutter style marines with badly converted psycannons (Literally square blocks of plastic-card with barrels.). The guy barely knows how to play 5th edition and constatly argues rules with the store employees during tournaments.

    Another time, we were doing a monsterpocalypse draft, and this old guy comes in and pays to join in. I get to play him first... As it turns out, the guy has never played before. After basically having to teach him how to play (in a timed tournament game), in the 2 turns that we had played before time ran out, he had managed to deal 1 damage to my monster and the ref declared him the victor.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)19:08 No.2845415
    OP Here... Yes /tg/ it gets worse... He goes to explain his army fluff to me... which i infinitely regret hearing... WELL THEY'RE PIRATES WHO THE EMPEROR GAVE SPACE MARINE EQUIPMENT TO, SO THEY WOULDN'T ATTACK THE EMPEROR... The fuckkkk? YEAH ANYWAY THEY HAVE RIDICULOUS FUCKING EQUIPMENT THAT IS SO BROKEN NO ONE ELSE WOULD HAVE THEM!!! LIKE SPIDER GRENADES.... Huh... um dare i ask what those are? THEY'RE GRENADES THAT MOVE AROUND AND SPY ON PEOPLE AND THEY TURN INTO VORTEX GRENADES... oh okay uhhh where's the models for those... OH THEY"RE CLOAKED AND BECAUSE THEY'RE SO SMALL THEY IGNORE DIFFICULT TERRAIN!! oh so is that special equipment or... NO EVERYONE OF MY MODELS HAVE IT... wheres your army codex(I know there are no space pirates, just testing the sanity of the fellow) OH ITS IN MY HEAD...And he wonders why no one ever plays with him... EVER
    >> Avatar of Funk !lry7nDNzJk 10/20/08(Mon)19:14 No.2845458

    There is this guy who comes to vintage mtg night sometimes at my LGS. He has proxies printed out for his demonic tutors and dark rituals, the proxies involve the actual magic card, but with CATGIRLS as the pictures. I've joked around with him about this, saying things like "Ohh man, its the dark catgirl ritual" and he always gets really defensive... he also has a catgirl deckbox. Hes 35 or so, and has a wife and kids (who he brings to the store despite us asking him not to.).
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)19:26 No.2845503
    you see a shitton of these signs nowadays. its not clever or original, like the person wants to make it seem. fucking panhandlers, contribute to society you lazy asses.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)19:30 No.2845523
    I've seen someone use a korean black lotus in my LGS before. I didn't have the heart to tell him that black lotuses didn't have a korean version.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)19:33 No.2845535
    Holy fuck, why are these people allowed to live?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)19:34 No.2845538
    Now, this would be at least a bit acceptable if he wrote out a real codex. I can totally deal with custom armies, even retardedly broken-diculous ones, as long as they actually have a codex that i can look at or reference.
    >> Avatar of Funk !lry7nDNzJk 10/20/08(Mon)19:38 No.2845549
    I agree. And, if someone was playing with an interesting concept (like angry marines or one of those mario-themed army lists that people have been posting), I would be HAPPY to play them.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)19:38 No.2845553
    There's this THING that we don't know whether it's male of female. Wears gender-neutral clothing, has flat chest, face like girl, medium length hair. Creepiest thing ever. Is really friendly and talkative but scares the shit out of me and i dont have the guts to ask it about its gender.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)19:41 No.2845571
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)19:43 No.2845576
    I AM that guy.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)19:43 No.2845578
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    I would hit it like the fist of an angry god.
    >> Juba, The Baghdad Sniper !1EVr3uyPJI 10/20/08(Mon)19:44 No.2845584
    Grab on it's genital area.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)19:45 No.2845589
    its skinny? i usually have a tough time with the really fat cases, because they could be boobs or manboobs.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)19:47 No.2845599
    post moar
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)19:50 No.2845610
    Its skinny. Creeps me the fuck out. Seems to want to make friends and my pals are giving me hell cause Im one of the rare people who dont outright avoid it. Yeesh Ive been avoiding the place just to avoid awkwardness.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)19:52 No.2845628
    theres this retarded cripple with claw hands and downs syndrome face and a tube in his throat and a grating voice and a wheel chair at our LGS. Other than be that way, he doesn't really do anything wrong, but he freaks me right the fuck out. in before lol intolerance etc.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)19:56 No.2845656
    There's one real creaper round my LGW. Skinny, medium height dude with black hair that's more grease than hair. could be anywhere from 25 to 40. wear REALLY old sports cloths that are ALWAYS covered in crumbs of some form. Hangs around any table where someone is playing as Dwarves and criticises everything that the Dwarf player does. While doing so he picks up models, moves them around to show you what you *should* be doing then doesn't put them back in the same place. without asking permission. While this mini-moving is going on he's dripping hair grease and crumbs all over the table and giving tips on how to beat the dwarf player to the opponent.

    He seems to think he's the only one allowed to play as dwarves in the fucking universe. Thing is, I played him (with his dwarves) against my Tzeentch Chaos Mortals and routed him in turn 3. Fucking dick didn't know shit about how to use them after all, and yet he continues to ruin everyone else's games.

    The Store staff are way too busy to tell the guy to piss off, Or its the ones he's friends with who come over to see what's going on if someone complains.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:03 No.2845705
    I don't play WARMACHINE so it doesn't affect me, but I heard the most rage-inducing thing at my FLGS the other day.

    I was playing a spot of Urban War, and on the next table were two Warmachine players. I hear one say to the other, I kid you not, "*snort* I'm going to ask you to roll those dice again, I don't think you did it properly. The way you did it favoured them landing a certain way." He made his opponent re-roll a single roll two or three times because he didn't think he was rolling dice right.

    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:09 No.2845740
    Get friendly with it, then GO FOR THE POOPER! It must have one!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:11 No.2845747
    OP here... It gets only creepier... A lot creepier... so i notice his other fucking monster of a model and begin to question him on that... Its again modeled from a medication bottle with pens and pencils, cardboard, his sanity, and fuck load of black paint... and i ask him... oh whats this... THAT'S MY IMPERIAL SKIMMER... IT FIRES SPIDER GRENADES... NOW I AM GOING TO BE PAINTING MY ARMY... he takes bright neon-fuck-your-optics red and SMEARS it up and down in these terrible patterns... And i ask... holy hell that hurts my eyes... why are you doing it like that just in patterns of black and bright bright red? BECAUSE IT HURTS MY OPPONENTS EYES... I"M USED TO IT THEREFORE MY SPESS PIRATES HAVE AN ADVANTAGE... Dear fucking chaos /tg/ dear fucking chaos
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:12 No.2845750
    Its not really a story about 40k, but the shop sold GW merchandise so I figure it counts.

    So I'm hanging around this store that sells GW stuff, Wizards stuff, comic books and assorted board games. The place is close by to my college and I had some free time so I figured I'd loiter around there for a while. After snagging a Hellboy omnibus I get into a conversation with a few people in there about several nerdy topics I can't remember at the moment. The subject turns to card games and a guy who'd been scoping out the new releases rack decides to join in.

    He was probably the most normal looking of all of us and yet he was the weird one. He turns the topic to Yugioh and starts talking wistfully about how awesome it would be if those giant arenas from the show were real. At first I thought he was joking but when it was apparent he wasn't I tried changing the subject. From Yougioh the abridged series to Magic the Gathering to the other applications of powerful hologram technology but this guy wouldn't have it. He'd take anything I said as mockery and his quiet insanity put an end to what would have been a pleasant outing.

    I managed to excuse myself politely because of class, but the folks who worked there had no choice but to put up with the guy.
    >> Anonymouse !!ukgwDcuLz7K 10/20/08(Mon)20:15 No.2845770

    There are no girls who play 40k.

    Enjoy your dickings.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:16 No.2845773
    >>Enjoy your dickings.

    thank you, I do.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:16 No.2845775
    how about crazy shit from your LGS in general?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:18 No.2845784
    You're not >>2845553 >>2845610 !
    I posted that. Im not gay so Im not gonna touch it.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:22 No.2845801
    I would punch him in the kidneys if he moved my pieces in the middle of a game.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:24 No.2845810
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    You write in an insanely annoying way.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:29 No.2845840
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    That actually sounds really neat. As long as he used an existing armylist with the 'counts as rule'.
    >> That Damn Mouse 10/20/08(Mon)20:30 No.2845844
    I knew an avid Ork player who, as part of his pre-game good luck charm, would grab his opponent by the shoulder and scream WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGH! until he either got dizzy, his opponent joined in or a fight broke out.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:33 No.2845866
    That is bad-ass.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:34 No.2845873
    That's fucking awesome!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:35 No.2845881
    This was about 5 months ago

    Creeeepy motherfucker Carl at a store near my friend's college (was visiting him since he starts school 1 week earlier than me)

    Insists on giving advice to people playing Fantasy despite the fact that he admits to only playing 40k. Occasionally touches peoples models and then whines when they slap away his greasy cheeto hands (it's not cheetos, but damn if I tried to figure out what that crusted shit on his palms are).

    Well damn, I play 40k, and I brought my army to play since my friend had said the store was pretty good. So he sets up some actually decent painted tyranids (it turns out he didn't paint them, he paid someone in the store to paint them). 1750 pt game against my 4th ed Emperor's Children army. Even with heavier than normal terrain, I absolutely butcher him, breaking synapse for half his army with my defiler and then having my blastmaster havocs tear his tyrant apart in one turn before my EC terminators teach gaunts the new meaning of pain.

    On turn 5, with about 13 models out of about 180 left on the board (and me having lost LESS than 13 models), he forfeits, but not before saying "I'd kick your ass at warmachine."

    Well HERP DE DERP I don't play warmachine but my friend standing right here does. Thrashes the guy in a 450 point game Cryx vs Cygnar.

    Carl literally throws a shitfit in the store, puts his models in a case, and leave in a huff. Halfway out the door the latch opens since he was so hurried in running away that he didn't pack properly, and his models spill out onto the sidewalk. He literally screams, incoherent with rage and turning red as the store employee rolls his eyes and we strike up a conversation about the rumored 5th ed rule changes.

    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:38 No.2845895

    Carl is clearly a fa/tg/uy, what with his RAAAAAGE.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:39 No.2845899

    that is how i imagine my dream girl
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 10/20/08(Mon)20:41 No.2845911

    I shudder to think of what a literal shitfit involves.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:44 No.2845934
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    Oh boy if he was a fa/tg/uy I have a message for him.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:45 No.2845936
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    I've been slowly building a krieg army, composed of stormtroopers using the Grenadiers doctrine. I had my krieg stormies laid out on the table at my local GW store. Its sorta busy, way more then usual. I'm working on making some changes to an army list before a game comes up.

    Some neckbeardy fellow walks up and proceeds to say:
    "Krieg, huh?"
    I don't even look up, just nod and go "Yes."
    He balls up a fist and moves it over the stormtroopers. Smiling, he says "It would be a shame if something happened to them."
    I immediately respond, without conscious thought, purely on instinct:
    "It would be a shame if I broke all the teeth in your head."

    He turns tail and walks away. I burst out laughing. He avoided me the rest of the night. I felt sorta bad about it, but didn't care enough to apologize.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:45 No.2845939
    Ahh. Perhaps I got a bit... expressive.

    It was pretty funny watching someone in their late-twenties talk about stores promoting poor behavior, how he was never going to go there again and how they were promoting a "hostile environment" like he was the store manager or something.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:48 No.2845960
    Oh fuck I forgot the most entertaining part. He'd taken all sorts of biomorphs without paying for them, including excara on genestealers and warriors, without number for all 3 of his gaunt broods...

    And I still pasted him despite his list clocking in at over 2000 pts.
    >> That Damn Mouse 10/20/08(Mon)20:51 No.2845975

    It only gets really bad when he does it to the Khorne player. Fucker is a quarter of an inch shy of 7 foot and has to weigh in the vicinity of 150 kilos. Pure muscle, used to be a footballer. Bald, covered in tattoos. The Ork player is maybe half a foot shorter than him, but nearly half again as broad.

    I have felt no fear like when I heard a cry of WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGH answered with BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! followed by the sound of children crying.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:52 No.2845984

    And here I was thinking of an obese neckbeard in jeans and a sweatsoaked black t-shirt jumping around like an orangutan and throwing his crap at people as they run for the door.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:54 No.2845995

    I shed a small tear of nerd when I read this.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:54 No.2845996


    Youtube plz.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:54 No.2845999
    I think they try to hit on me
    >> That Damn Mouse 10/20/08(Mon)20:58 No.2846024

    The last place I want to be, in this fucking world, is anywhere near them when they brawl.

    They're not allowed at the local GW at the same time, and we've house broken them enough to take it outside.

    Interestingly enough, they're best of friends who met when they found out they were both being cheated on by the same girl.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:58 No.2846030
    OP here and no man he didn't he was like ITS A LAZTAIL I GET TO ROLL 2 more dice for every pen or glance...
    he decided to make up his own goddamn rules for the most broken shit ever.... Like some how his tanks had titan weapons for like 75 pts... because they were space pirates..
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)20:58 No.2846031

    Oh god lol'd.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:01 No.2846042
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    Must be recorded and immortalized.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:02 No.2846052

    Oh god lol'd.
    >> Kun-Kun !3GqYIJ3Obs 10/20/08(Mon)21:03 No.2846060
    after the bit about the Khornate player being covered in tattoos and having muscles galore and being like 7 feet tall, I am now imagining every player has characteristics of whatever army they play now.....I can already imagine the mini camps setting up in LGS while a Tzeentchian player stands in the back grinning to himself muttering approvingly under his breath. That and a pale skinny bondage enthusiast beating off in the corner not even attempting to hide what he's doing.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:05 No.2846070
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    I am constantly infiltrated.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:08 No.2846083
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    David Bowie rolls a crystal ball on the table, then his Eldar warp in
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:08 No.2846087

    I know when I play Necrons I just stand there staring at the opponent and not blinking. It's spectacularly effective as a distraction.
    >> That Damn Mouse 10/20/08(Mon)21:09 No.2846093

    Actually, when they started playing they were both relatively normal. It's only after they were collecting for a while that the signs started to show.

    I play Nurgle, Dwarfs and Imperial Guard. I only recently added Nurgle to this collection, so in a few months I should be an accurate representation of Jurgen.
    >> Kun-Kun !3GqYIJ3Obs 10/20/08(Mon)21:13 No.2846110
    I once went through a tourney with my Pestilens skaven...I had pneumonia and my eyes were really watery and I had tears coming down my face and snot was dripping out of my nose and I kept coughing up hideous balls of phlegm and retching into tissues and I could barely stand. I ended up puking 2 times in the parking lot after the tourney but damn it all if I didn't fight to second place and get that store credit gift card. Of course the dick who beat me was a shooty dwarf army. Now that I remember it, I think he may have been a short man with a beard. SHIT IT'S TRUE!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:20 No.2846131
    You have the BEST LGS EVER.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:20 No.2846134
    I remember a quiet day in the LGS where there was a pretty subdued 2v2 with eldar + space wolves vs khorne daemons and world eaters, a table of M:tG that had finished and a Hordes player whose opponent had a family emergency and packed up and vanished from the store in a flash.

    I was waiting for my friend, glanced at the game. chaos wasn't doing so hot. So I stand there flipping through the apocalypse book and begin to talk to the hordes dude about WM vs Hordes and all of a sudden we jump when we hear


    Yeah the two Khorne players had intentionally kept it quiet so they could bust that out. They were standing there laughing (the eldar guy was so shocked he'd almost fallen over). Khorne must've heard them because they won it in a nail-biter when an immobilized defiler ricochets a battle cannon shot around a corner and nails the dire avengers on the objective and the chaos daemons player manages to contest one other objective when his bloodletters ran 6" and then 5" in two turns and the wolf guards trying to assault them couldn't get close enough.
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 10/20/08(Mon)21:22 No.2846152
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    When I´m shaved, I play Imperial Guard. I mostly try to avoid standing close to the other player. You could say I take cover behind the table.

    When my neckbeard is grown, though, I play Space Wolves. And that´s when I frown, and show my canines (one of them is "bionic") with a wolfish grin.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:23 No.2846157
    The only creepy thing I can remember happening at my local game store was when I was there with my 8 year old sister. Some scrawny guy in his early 20s started trying to hit on her. A friend of mine who works there had already picked up the phone and was about to call the cops. I put one of my hands on the little guy's shoulders and whispered in his ear "you have about a 10 second head start before the cops get here, and I can't guarantee what condition you will be found in." Little fucker turned to give me lip, saw how much bigger I was than him and bolted like hell. He hasn't been seen in the store since. The cops got there about a minute or two later and questioned us, and headed out to find the little freak. Not sure if they found him or not, but he smelled like piss on his way out.
    >> Commissar Internet !!49Ay+6zEbfG 10/20/08(Mon)21:26 No.2846173
    Find out if they found him. If so, send him a card. "I hope you're enjoying your prison rape" or something to that effect.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:28 No.2846188
    There was a 50 year old man playing Britonians at my LGS, and his army looked very bad ass, and he seemed to be a very nice chap, but he drooled. A lot. It landed on his archers once. o-o
    >> That Damn Mouse 10/20/08(Mon)21:30 No.2846204

    Reminds me of my LGS favourite regular. Lil' 13 year old girl who has been coming here for about 6 years with her Dad. Dad got her into the hobby at a young age, buys all her minis for her. Right now she's working on a Dark Elf Witch army (she normally plays Lizardmen) and, I shit thee not, she is one of the better painters and gamers of the store.

    The creep factor is the dad. The fucker stands over her shoulder every second while she is here, which is fair enough, but he eyes off everyone who comes into the store, has words with anyone who speaks to the girl and smells vaguely of onions. Skinny guy, too. Couldn't take a stiff wind, but has this constant semi-glazed look in his eyes.

    Probably doesn't help that he's a hardcore Slaaneshi player.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:32 No.2846214
    There was this incredibly mouthy kid that used to play MtG all the time at my LGS. Kid was maybe 11 or 12. One of those spoiled rotten kids who has all designer clothes and mommy and daddy chauffer them around and wait on them hand and foot.

    I haven't seen him in there since he had an allergic reaction to something in the vending machine and they had to call an ambulance.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:32 No.2846215

    What the fuck?

    Heard a story from a UK store once. Some kid with serious anger problems, would always throw a hissy fit when he lost, treat his models like crap when he packed them as a way to punish them for losing.

    So one time he's playing Elves in Warhammer Fantasy and he has brought along a newly painted Elf Dragon with Prince. It's beautifully painted and could be entered into the Daemon awards. It gets shot to shit and killed in turn 1.

    The kid gives a sort of Srgeant slaughter look, hunched over the table with fists balled up he stares maliciously at the model before snatching it away and bringing it to his case. Then he starts to smash it with the palm of his hand, everytime hitting it screaming "STUPID DRAGON". He breaks it into peices, smacking each individual part before putting them into his case. He saves the best for last, the prince, and punches him into the table screaming "STUPID DRAGON".

    Also heard about another story where this guy was a bit of a sore loser during a apocalypse game. He looses so in frustration he picks up his tin dice box and throws it. It bounces off the table into his opponents models and knocks a certain tank off the table.

    A forgeworld Baneblade, that gets snapped in half. He was banned from the store.

    Besides that, never had an experience myself thankfully.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:34 No.2846233

    your daughter's in the hobby
    now she's going through puberty in the den of neckbeards

    what would you do?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:36 No.2846254

    Fuck, I'd do the exact same thing he does. I'd actually do more to make me look creepy and dangerous.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:37 No.2846261
    >>2846204Reminds me of my LGS favourite regular. Lil' 13 year old girl

    >>The creep factor is the dad. The fucker stands over her shoulder every second while she is here

    we should take away... her paternal guardian
    >> That Damn Mouse 10/20/08(Mon)21:38 No.2846266

    Well put. But he's been this exact way ever since we've known them. We've lost a few regulars thanks to him, but he's a decent enough guy to make up for it.

    Maybe it's just me being creeped out by a father/daughter combo painting through a unit of Slaaneshi daemonettes and Witch Elves.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:39 No.2846270

    realize that there are people in this world that ARENT pedos

    then realize where i am and do generally the same thing
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 10/20/08(Mon)21:40 No.2846274
    >we should take away... her paternal guardian

    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:42 No.2846285
    No one has seen him since then, and he wasn't much of a regular. I did ask about it a while after it happened, and the people in the store remembered the incident, but had no clue who he was or had any memory of having seen him since.

    The proper thing to do is to do what I do with my sister, and just keep an eye on the situation. Standing over her will just make her feel uncomfortable in the environment. You've got to give them room to breathe, but still stay close enough to keep tabs on what is going on. But then again it isn't much of a problem as my sister tends to hang around me and play maybe a table over from where I play when I'm actually playing at the LGS instead of having people over to play. She's also only 8 and I don't have to deal with the whole puberty thing ... yet.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:43 No.2846292
    Its not really a "game store" but its a hobby shope that sells GW products...or did and all they have are let overs but ANYWAY... I was at this hobby shop and was browsing their assortment of GW models. I noticed none of the models had price labels on the boxes, so I ask the old fellow at the counter "Hey, how much are these Space Marine models?" as if he just woke up from a nap he studders and replies "Her? oh those things, no one buys those anymore..seems the kids dont like em'. I bought figuring that the youngsters would like the whole space men fightin' thing but i was wrong. Damn kids..dont want their trains, their cars, they dont even want these damn space men models.." As the old geezer began to rant, i picked up the space marine battleforce and casually walked out.
    That is the tale of how obtained my first 40k models.
    >> That Damn Mouse 10/20/08(Mon)21:44 No.2846297

    Also, I generally blame 4chan for making me think it's creepy in the first place. But when say stands over her shoulder, I mean 'nevermorethan4inchesaway' from her. Ever.

    But the bond they have is amazing. I've seen them play an army between the two of them, not say a single word and absolutely CREAM their opponent.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:44 No.2846303
    he shouldn't have gotten her into it if he was going to be a cunt about it. i mean, i'd probably supervise like he is, but i wouldn't fucking begrudge people conversation with a fellow player. he's getting her into a hobby and then alienating all the other hobbyists. doesn't seem fair.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:46 No.2846313
    isnt that sort of bond fucking creepy. thats some mad brainwashin' pedo-incest shit going on there.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:47 No.2846320
    >I've seen them play an army between the two of them, not say a single word and absolutely CREAM their opponent.

    Freudian slaaneshi slip?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:48 No.2846324
    If I have a daughter, this is how I shall raise her.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:49 No.2846333
    >>2846297But the bond they have is amazing. I've seen them play an army between the two of them, not say a single word and absolutely CREAM their opponent.

    well, Dark Elves are known for their Parent:Child relationships
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:49 No.2846334
    Nah, he's probably a harmless guy that, while having a bit of a lolita complex himself, would never think of, much less actually touch his own daughter, or probably any other girl for that matter. The reason he stands so close is because he knows the kind of guys that are in the store, probably with a bit of the self-loathing from the lolita complex. He may rationalize that if he is in the store, others as horrible and worse than him may be also, and he knows full well that his little girl isn't theirs, and that others may not be able to show the same restraint that he does.
    >> That Damn Mouse 10/20/08(Mon)21:50 No.2846344

    My ex used to wear a Freudian Slip. *Bah dum tish*
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:54 No.2846364
    I remember some guy coming into my LGS one day. Looked like he was in a biker gang or something. Tattoos, piercings, all sorts of crazy shit. Could probably have taken everyone in the store at once in a fight and won.

    Turned out he played CSM, all bikers, painted in Slaaneshi colors.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:54 No.2846366
    well, Dark Elves are known for their Parent:Child relationships
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:55 No.2846371
    So... he's a Big Daddy.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)21:56 No.2846377

    >I am now imagining every player has characteristics of whatever army they play now

    Its sounding right so far by the examples posted.
    >> That Damn Mouse 10/20/08(Mon)21:59 No.2846391

    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:02 No.2846406
    My LGW doesn't have any one that's creepy. (I guess that means I'm the creepy one.)

    But occassionally, some one will do a small WAAGH.

    Every one else in the store will stair at them, and 10 seconds later, the whole store gives off a big WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH. We have a pretty crowded store so it can get loud. Every one out side in the mall stairs at us. (Oh how I wish they would join in too.)
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:05 No.2846420
    There was this one old guy when I went to Games Workshop that's about 15 miles away from my house.

    He had long gray Gandalf hair, and he was playing dwarfs at the moment.
    the weird thing was, he was pushing his models with his 2 inch long nails. Creepy.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:05 No.2846421
    At my old gaming store there were a group of about 5 kids. They were all about 15 and tried to be punks (wearing crappy clothes, leather jackets, listening to crap like dragon force). They never bathed ever and it was just fucking annoying to be around them.

    They started to avoid me after I told them they needed English lessons.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:07 No.2846434

    So, as I play Chaos Dwarfs, does this mean I am required to curl my beard before turning up, and wear an outrageously large armoured hat?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:09 No.2846441
    Well, lets try some more examples then. I play Eldar. I'm a smart guy who did exceptionally well with very little work in middle and high school, I dress a bit preppy (same clothes, not in the same style; i.e. I hate popped collars) I prefer to stay well groomed and make it a point to bathe every day. My GPA in college my freshman and sophomore year was horrible because I had become used to my ways of just sitting back and not having to do anything. I'm apt to think most things through and have always been able to stay out of trouble by skirting the blame to others. I find that manipulating others is a simple and entertaining pastime. In short, I'm a bit of a dick.


    Well, fuck, I guess it is true.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:09 No.2846443

    Of course! You're playing dorfs, why wouldn't you?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:10 No.2846450
    Theres a weeaboo tau player at the store whose cute
    only problem is she's a girl and tries to bend the many guys in GW to her will, buy her shit, get her cookies from Mrs. fields while she games.

    Sad thing is if it wasnt for the last quality I would make her mine
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:10 No.2846454
    Uuhhh... I don't really have any creepy stories.

    But when I went through BMT for the Air Force in '04, one of our Instructors got my entire flight to start screaming "WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" really loud exactly like Orks.

    I think I was the only one who got it, if that's what he was going for.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:11 No.2846461
    Make her yours any ways. Slap her across the face if she tries to bend you to her will.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:12 No.2846468
    Oh shit. I too am an Eldar player and, aside from dress style, you described me to a T.

    Have we stumbled across something here?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:13 No.2846474
    Also pics.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:13 No.2846475

    Jeez, I remember having a kid like that at our local club years ago, couldn't have been more than 13. S/he would claim s/he was a different gender every time s/he turned up.

    I never did get a straight answer on that.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:14 No.2846483

    1. get cookies
    2. put roofies in cookies
    3. "oh look she fainted. I'll take her to the hospital"
    4. ?!?!?!
    5. PROFIT (and buttsex)
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:15 No.2846484
    I started out playing Space Marines as a fourteen year old runt, and now ten years later I'm 6'10" and work out regularly.

    Not so much with the powered armor, though.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:16 No.2846492
    Why always buttsex? What's wrong with vaginal intercourse? Especially in the missionary position between two consenting adults with an appropriate amount of protection.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:17 No.2846502
    >>2846450Sad thing is if it wasnt for me being a complete pussyI would make her mine

    anonymous fails terror test, anonymous is unable to charge at Girl
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:18 No.2846504
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    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:18 No.2846506
    Don't you have to flee as well? If it's terror?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:19 No.2846508

    It's the Emperor in disguise. He has come to test your faith.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:19 No.2846509

    You sick fuck
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:19 No.2846516
    Today will forever be remembered as the day /tg/ discovered the secret to having the characteristics you always wanted. Play the GW army that most closely reflects those characteristics.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:20 No.2846521

    Not if you cause Fear, and Neckbeard Stench is usually enough for that.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:21 No.2846526
    I know someone who plays pure GKs and for the most part he's an awesome guy to be around - likes to crack jokes, is pretty respectful of other peoples' stuff, willing to help people paint their stuff or put models together or just help them out with fluff issues when the redshirts are busy.

    When shit happens like a cholo grabbing someone's models and breaking them for his homies' amusement and then attempting to rob the store with a switchblade, he's pretty much the only guy willing to do anything about it.

    I can still imagine him bullrushing the mexican with the knife, slamming both of them into the model display case, and then punching the shit out of him while the other gangster wannabes ran off shitting their pants.

    I think he needed to get medical attention for when the knife slashed his hand open, and he got arrested on charges of assault and battery.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:22 No.2846532

    ACK! Same here. Though I played Tau first and I'm currently working on CSM.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:22 No.2846534
    If that happens in the Mall of Georgia one I'm not sure how I'd react.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:23 No.2846537
    Damn! I knew I should've picked ogres over wood elves to have an army that I'm most like.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:23 No.2846539
    I play Guard. I'm stubborn, resistant to change and when shit hits the fan try to get out as fast as possible. I also prefer to sling insults/accusations at people, but as soon as they start attacking me I'm useless.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:25 No.2846546

    If not, the beef jerky farts will keep them away
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:25 No.2846549

    Should have gone Eldar instead.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:26 No.2846553

    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:26 No.2846554
    I think dirty hairy westerners are a bunch of stupid monkeys who took over the world because we were too busy getting high to care.

    I play Eldar
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:27 No.2846558
    I play Beasts of Chaos... But I'm not a furry, I don't really get mad easily, and I'm an artsyfag. I just picked them because they're ugly as hell and fast...
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:30 No.2846566

    I'm a big guy that likes to go on pub crawls, listen to loud music, and engage in detailed philosophical discussions.

    I play CSMs with a focus on Slaanesh and Tzeentch. I also just started Orks, for extra hooligan-y goodness.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:32 No.2846578
    Did he get off as defending himself or the property of others? That would piss me right the hell off if he got punished for preventing a robbery.

    Also, as an aspiring psychologist, I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry at these threads.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:34 No.2846590
    "I must kill the Westerners" he shouted
    The japs said "No, pig-like, you are the Westerners"
    And then pig-like was a Westerner.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:37 No.2846610
    I play Tzeentch. I'm a shrimpy transsexual, and I play every game with a penchant for unnecessarily complicated battle plans and habit of offering my opponents friendly advice that ranges between misleading, counterproductive, and outright false.

    There may be something to this.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:38 No.2846611

    Probably both.

    Laugh because you know its all meant in jest.
    Cry because you know every bit of it is true and everything you are being taught is bullshit.
    >> That Damn Mouse 10/20/08(Mon)22:38 No.2846614
    If anything I'm the exact opposite of the armies I play. I'm tall, lanky, good hygeine, undisciplined and with a focus on artsy shit. I play guard, nurgle and dwarfs.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:40 No.2846624
    I play Speed Freaks orks. I am a little, skinny guy, but I love the concepts of SCIENCE! though I am getting my degree in history. Still, I love a good game, especially when the odds are against me winning, and love to pull that victory out from underneath you.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:40 No.2846625
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    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:42 No.2846635

    I play Daemonhunters and Vostroyan Guard: I come to my LGS smartly dressed and freshly showered. I always bring my copy of the Imperial Infantryman's uplifting primer in my pocket- for quoting once in a while. When not playing games, I watch the other player's battles in consternation. All of the Chaos players in my store are slimy annoying goths, who I genuinely loath. I commonly plot for ways to defeat my arch-nemesis (one such slimy character), Lenny, a creepy guy who always wears tie-die shirts. He plays Tzeentch and Necrons.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:42 No.2846637
    Just wait. You'll end up with a degenerative disease that will make your bones shrink and rot your flesh.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:42 No.2846638
    I play Tau. I'm Chinese.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:45 No.2846657

    I'm not a dirty pirate soul eating kinslayer, I'm Chinese
    >> W.Irving 10/20/08(Mon)22:46 No.2846662

    There is a very nice guy at my LGS who has a great IG force but has an absolutely horrible stutter, that gets worse every time. It hurts to hear him try and say out his list.

    There are also the typical neckbeards and spray painted armies, but what can you do?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:47 No.2846666

    A psychologist you say? What army do you play?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:48 No.2846669
    I play Space Marines.

    I'm an ultra-religious retard.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:49 No.2846674
    More tales from players that look like their armies!

    There is a really cool kid at my LGS who just happens to be the owner's kid. He's funny, not a rule nazi, helps the new kids with their strategies, and all that jazz. Good guy.

    Thing is he has this growth thing and even though he is like 16 he looks barely 11. Dude is short with a big head, skinny little limbs, and some seriously buck teeth...and be plays Skaven. FOR THE HORNED RAT!
    >> anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:50 No.2846681
    I feel like i just looked into a mirror.

    Only problem is i play necrons. However, i have never once felt sadness at hearing anothers misfortune, but i don't take pleasure in it either...

    Ah damn.
    >> That Damn Mouse 10/20/08(Mon)22:53 No.2846704


    Fuck it, I'm converting muh boys to Slaanesh.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:57 No.2846730
    That's alot like me, and I have been considering branching out into Eldar...

    On the other hand, I do play Blood Angels and Black Templars. I'm a semi-devout Roman Catholic with Bipolar Disorder and ADD; hence I am prone to the occasional fit of blood-curdleingly terrifying homocidal rage. Oh shit, this does work. Except for the fact that I'm short and out of shape.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:59 No.2846749
    When I was in high school I was the president of this small traditional games club. It was fun, most people in it were either personal friends of mine or underclassmen who I could stand to be around.

    There was this one kid though, who we all fucking passionately hated. He was an underclassman, but the other people in his grade were constantly avoiding him in school. No matter what game we played he'd talk about it beforehand like he was some sort of tactical genius, and then consistently get his ass handed to him. He'd get this obnoxious, smug expression on the rare occasions he did something well, and would quite literally break into tears and start ranting incoherently when he lost, which was 95% of the time. We eventually suspected he had autism or some similar disorder.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)22:59 No.2846751

    On the other hand, I do play Blood Angels and Black Templars. I'm a semi-devout Roman Catholic with Bipolar Disorder and ADD; hence I am prone to the occasional fit of blood-curdleingly terrifying homosexual rage. Oh shit, this does work. Except for the fact that I'm short and out of shape.

    play Dark Angels
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)23:00 No.2846754

    Since he was younger than me and obviously had problems I always tried to be nice to him, but damn if he tested my patience. He ALWAYS tried to cheat- every time he had the opportunity to attempt it, he pulled these transparent attempts to break the rules, in any game. In 40k his army lists were always exceeding the game's point value, so I had to waste time every time we played going through his list and totaling his point values to see how much he was cheating (which was doubly annoying, since he played Tau, which I am unfamiliar with, so I had to keep leafing through the codex). Speaking of Tau, when he first started playing 40k with us, he informed us he was going to buy them as his army. We approved, and a few of the more experienced players asked to see what he was buying. His Tau army did not have a single fire warrior, instead he bought mass amounts of Kroot. Now, I know some people like to make Kroot-themed fluff armies, but this kid kept insisting he would win every game with his massed Kroot. Despite our protests he payed for them, and then in the first game he played, a Chaos player fucking wrecked them with bolters, hardly taking any damage at all. The kid got this awful look on his face, started mumbling about he was a failure, and sat in the corner for the rest of the session.

    It's good not to be in high school anymore...although now I don't have anywhere to play 40k.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)23:01 No.2846761
    All he needs is lots and lots of body hair and you can pass him off as a skaven.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)23:04 No.2846774
    You go to the Mall O' Georgia GWS?
    I used to go there quite a bit
    I play guard
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)23:05 No.2846780
    I play Orks.

    I'm 5'5 inches, soft-spoken, rather effeminate, and physically scrawny in the extreme. In all honesty I look and act more like a Eldar than an Ork.

    But 40k doesn't seem as fun unless I'm using Orks. Or Dark Eldar, but that's another issue entirely.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)23:07 No.2846792
    I might, but for the fact that they lack sufficient amounts of RIP N TEAR for my purposes.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)23:10 No.2846813

    Are you gay? Please say yes.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)23:14 No.2846836

    I'm straight.

    I do fap to futa from time to time, though.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)23:20 No.2846863

    Counts as: Fag
    >> Hoodoo !!P4pLLn6nx14 10/20/08(Mon)23:20 No.2846871
    We don't have a real Local Game Shop where I'm from. About 10 to 20 of us gather at the local Peter Piper's Pizza every Saturday to play cards, but that's about it. Sometime DnD as well. Anyway, on to our Creepy Guy.
    There's a guy there named Chad. He's about 5'10", weighs an easy 250 if not 300 pounds, all of which is fat. He's balding, has a really nasally voice, and smells like old cheese. He has a very nasty habit of buying 3 or 4 cases of NEW EXPANSION SET for YuGiOh or Magic, making every possible deck, and refusing to trade any of the new cards, but insisting you trade yours so he can complete the set.
    He also wanders to everyone's tables, telling them what to play and what "You should have done". This is usually dismissed with "Chad, are you playing?", to which he looks away and walks off.

    The worst part is, he's been around since Pokemon League, back in the 90s. he's like, 40. And he's just smelly, and creepy.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)23:26 No.2846907
    At the game store I used to frequent before I ran short of money, one of the Ork players jumped up and down chanting "'Ere we go! 'Ere we go! 'Ere we go!" right before a game started (including the ones in which he didn't play). It got him plenty of odd stares, but I'm reasonably sure he was otherwise harmless.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)23:27 No.2846911
    It's like looking into the future, isn't it?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)23:42 No.2846995

    The future really is GRIMDARK.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)23:50 No.2847031
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    >>2846780I'm 5'5 inches, soft-spoken, rather effeminate, and physically scrawny in the extreme. In all honesty I look and act more like a Eldar than an Ork.

    but Eldar are not soft spoken or physically scrawny. And they can dunk from the free throw line
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)23:56 No.2847070
    I know two kids from my GW. Personally, they're pretty decent, but during a game they can get pretty fucking annoying. They know most of the basic rules and stuff but it's painfully obvious that they've never read their codexes well enough. One game, it was 2v2 with my Tau army and an SM army against their CSMs and Orks. My SM ally dumps a drop pod behind their lines, unloads a Dread, and starts wrecking shit. The Chaos kid assaults with a bunch of Marines, and somehow thinks there's a rule that if a walker gets totally surrounded during combat, it's automatically destroyed. Of course, I called BS on that, but he maintained it like the gospel until we finally managed to call over a GW guy to confirm the total BS. Another game, the other kid was playing with Eldar and thought that the "X" strength rating was a ten and tried to use it to oneshot a Land Raider.

    I know they're fairly new to the game, but god... there are some times that I want to punch them in the face so bad.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)23:57 No.2847073
    Um, to clarify, the "X" was for the Eldar sniper rifle.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)23:59 No.2847091
    "I assault the stikk bomma's with my warp spiders"

    "stikk bommas have a special rule that if they're assaulted from behidn they go crazy and toss all their stikk bomms at them. Krak bombs, so s6 ap3"

    what the fuck?
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)00:04 No.2847128
    As someone turned on by skinny androgynes. . . fuck you.

    If it was a girl, good god I would hit it.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)00:05 No.2847129
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)00:13 No.2847182
    I play alpha legion, I'm usually staying at the back of the fight until I figure out what needs doing, and take measures to stop it.

    Also chaos, goth. lulz.

    Honestly, if somebody threw a fit when they lost, I'd just say "Oh, sorry but I have to be off somewhere". Last thing I need is to be associated with some derranged modelbreaker.
    >> Avatar of Funk !lry7nDNzJk 10/21/08(Tue)00:19 No.2847218
    I play Nurgle/Khorne. I am a fat, raucous, angry neckbeard. My blood is made of hot-pocket filling and I piss mountain dew. That's pretty much accurate.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)00:35 No.2847301
    I'm about 5'10', not fat, not skinny, pretty cheery and occasionally social person. I don't rage much except at the truly deserving. I even eat sensibly and go clean shaven.

    And what do I play?
    Battletech mercenary company and various historical wargames, namely renaissance and WW2.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)01:11 No.2847500
    My TC in my last unit played WH40K. Old school Mexican guy. Used Orks.

    He liked the Orky-painted missiles and stuff.

    Also knew a weaboo WoWfag in the Army. Played Tau.

    Big gnarly Germanic dude that listened to heavy metal, played as Chaos.

    Some other jokers played too... Nobody played as imperial guard, oddly enough.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)01:16 No.2847526
    I eat a lot, and tend to not talk to anyone other than my family. I also tend to not be emotional around non-family.

    I play Tyranids and Lizardmen.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)03:35 No.2848049
    Of course nobody played IG. That's like /v/ playing a game focusing around hating everything.
    >> =I=Inquisitorial Postin'=I= 10/21/08(Tue)09:59 No.2849297
    I once helped a guy buy some old ork models that were being discontinued, and ever since then he would arbitrarily greet me with bro-grabs, and bring me snacks and drinks, which I would consume, after making sure they were sealed. Clincher is, as I would consume his little tributes, he would stare at me, and occasionally ask me how they tasted. I don't know dude, like Dr. Pepper and Dorritos, what am I supposed to respond with?

    Also, I wear dark clothes, hang around alotta chicks who only want to be friends, and love to point fingers at people when something goes awry, and I play Witch Hunters, hurrah.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)10:12 No.2849324
    I don't. I just like to watch.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)11:03 No.2849460
    After reading this thread I realize I do look like my armies.

    Black Legion: I wear almost exclusively black shirts, dunno' why I just have a fuck ton of black shirts ranging from the House of Blues in Chicago to Marvel TCG shirt I got at a con somewhere. Funny thing is I run lots of Emprah's Children units of Noise Marines. My hair is now pink after a failed attempt to dye it red. I feel slightly creeped out.


    Eldar: I am easily 6'4", and I weigh around 130 lbs. Clean-shaven and well dressed in comfortable slacks or a not destroyed pair of jeans. I am always very mobile during a game, walking around the board to get a good view and never really standing still.

    tl;dr I am a Chaos Eldar
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)16:54 No.2851170
    Tell more
    if that is even possible
    jesus that sounds awesome
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)17:01 No.2851201
    Ork Player. I've been known to spout "WAAAAGH" when doing things with a fervor. It just sorta slips, really.

    Also, I dress in whatever I find that day, and am generally abusive to my friends.

    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)17:04 No.2851213
    So, your an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)17:06 No.2851223
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)17:07 No.2851229
    For the most part, yes. But I'm also the first one to stick up for them and get in people's face.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)17:09 No.2851236
    That man is going to rape you.
    >> Mask of Winters !!5tEp50WeGgS 10/21/08(Tue)17:25 No.2851301
    Alpha Legion.
    6'1", athletic, pale as a corpse and have long hair. I'm pretty much your typical metalhead, only I bathe occasionally.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)17:53 No.2851380
    Here's my 40k horror story.

    There was this huge fat fuck playing Space Marines, with a bunch of heavy weapons guys right on his table edge. He had a habit of sitting with his gut pressed right up against the table, and when he reached across the table his gut started rolling over the table edge. He reached a little further, really stretching his arm out, and his gut rolled slowly forward, engulfing the heavy weapons squads and swallowing them under the bulk of his stomach like some slow-motion B-movie blob. When he leaned back, all the squads were gone, and all I could think was that he'd eaten them via osmosis. He looked around for his guys, confused at their absence, and I had to leave before he figured out what I was laughing at.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)18:04 No.2851408
    I have an interesting story.

    A few years back, when I was in high school, I used to go to the GW locally which was in the mall. I played often enough. But I also liked to pretend I wasn't a huge nerd since I don't really look like one (ashamed of my nerd-dom). So I didn't talk to my "regular" friends (mostly teammates from cross-country and volleyball) about playing WH40k and I definitely avoided introducing them to my D&D/WHFRP group. I figured being captain of the Science Bowl team 3 years running was bad enough.

    So I'm walking through the mall with a friend. He has his girlfriend along, a decently cute kind of nerdy insecure asian girl. Didn't really know her well, just a "friend of a friend" as it were.

    Anyways, as we walking right by the GW, there's a big battle going on and someone yells "WAAAAAAAGH" and the rest of the crowd joins in. I spontaneously respond with a "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD" and I hear a girl shout "FOR SIGMAR".

    Yeah. Her. I don't think I've ever spontaneously popped a boner in the middle of the mall before.
    >> Brother-Captain Stern 10/21/08(Tue)18:24 No.2851490
    Please tell me you found that girl and fucked her into a coma. Please, I need to find some reason to believe that the world is fair...
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)18:27 No.2851514
    No u. She's on her knees right now sucking the dick of some camo-clad YUU ESS MAHRENE who loves shouting "SAND NIGGER" before killing Iraqi civilians.

    >> Lil piece o´fluff 10/21/08(Tue)18:39 No.2851572

    Has Sigmar incarnated in George Bush, or is she just THAT bad at choosing who she sides with?
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)18:42 No.2851589
    I used to know a guy worth mentioning.

    This guy had horrible scholiosis. A hunchback. Pot belly but skinny legs and skinny arms. Imagine a malformed potato with pencils stuck in it. He had HORRIBLE dandruff and would vigorously run his hands through his permanently greasy hair to make it "snow" dandruff. Zero oral hygiene. His jagged, gnarled buckteeth were permanently caked in thick plaque and tartar. So think it was a shade or orange. He had chronic halitosis which made it difficult to stand in front of him while he spoke. Constant greasy skin. He always reeked of that special blend of sweat, unwashed balls, and dirty clothes. He bathed only when ordered by our Gunnery Sergeant.

    That's right. He and I served in the Marines together. (his scholiosis was the maximum allowable to still be fit. He had to get a waver for it).

    How he continued to exist in such a disgusting state despite weekly inspections, free dental and medical is beyond me.

    He had Warhammer figures, but I am unsure if he actually played. He did play Mageknight though.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)18:43 No.2851592
    >>2851408asian... sigmar

    huh? Did her boyfriend play?
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)18:45 No.2851608

    he is obviously a chaos cultist infiltrating the marines

    he sounds like a Pink Horror
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 10/21/08(Tue)18:47 No.2851614

    He sounds more like GOLLUM.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)18:48 No.2851615
    Do you know this Marine or are you just making impotent, jealous fatguy generalizations based on ridiculous alternative media perceptions of the military?

    Because, while there are a very few Marines like that that give everybody a bad name, the vast majority are absolutely nothing like that at all.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)18:59 No.2851678
    Awwww, sad neckbeard :<
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:00 No.2851682
    Eh, most likely the latter. This is why I try not to have opinions on the boyfriends of cute girls; I can't get objectivity on it, and I don't see it going anywhere but wrong.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:00 No.2851686
    That's metal.

    Sure, the more shitty type of metalhead, but it's still metal, not punk.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:00 No.2851687
    I sort-of-play Orks. I'm a mediocre player, although I try to put a little effort into my appearance. I still act like a bit of a twat, though. I wish I didn't.

    And I don't think I'll ever yell something orky. Yeah, I know. I'm mucking about.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:03 No.2851701
    I'm surprised he said punks. Most people seem to think that metalfags are goths these days. Hell, half of them seem to think that.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:07 No.2851721
    You know, he might have meant punk in the sense of "a young ruffian; hoodlum," or "an inexperienced youth," or possibly even "a young male partner of a homosexual," which I'd never heard until just now.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:07 No.2851724

    Well I would play that!
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:09 No.2851733
    Oh hi there. You appear to be under the impression that you're the hero on the global stage. That your crusaders are purely a force of GOOD AND FREEDOM. 150,000 civilians have been killed by your Great Christian Soldiers in your war. That's 30 times as many people lost their lives on 9/11. And that's in Iraq alone, and only counting the bodies. Not the broken homes, displaced families, the crippled, the raped, and the unnumbered taken from their homes by your soldiers. Taken to your government's secret prisons to be tortured because, in your paranoia of "The Other," everything has become acceptable. And then given a hero's welcome, because only traitors and cowards call out war criminals for what they have done to the innocent. Let me make this very clear. You are not a hero. You are not a liberator, or a force of anyone's good except the Hawk Elites. You shame your nation in the greatest farce ever perpetrated.

    And before you spit back at me, I don't want you dead. I don't want George Bush, or John McCain, or Sarah Palin dead. I understand the importance of military actions. But those shiny boots and short hair cut do not excuse you from your crimes. And when you've had your fill as one of America's "Heroes" and are done playing big-bad-mercenary for Blackwater hope someday you reflect on the shame you have brought upon yourself and jingoistically praised nation.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:09 No.2851735
    Hmm...let's see.

    I'm slightly above average in height (6'1" or so), a bit above average intelligence, but personally rather weak. I love having minions to boss around and do my dirtywork, and I tend to do things in an orderly way, even if others think it looks chaotic.

    Lizardmen and tyranids.

    Shit, it does work.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:11 No.2851746
    Here we go again...
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:12 No.2851749
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:13 No.2851761
    I smell copypasta.
    >> Hyperion !!LtgOgT0wJFN 10/21/08(Tue)19:14 No.2851765
    I'll say this for them - I don't like them, but the vast bulk of Marines are king scary bastards. Nearly as much so as your average ADG.
    >> !ZAax4CLxaM 10/21/08(Tue)19:17 No.2851778
    >She's on her knees right now sucking the dick of some camo-clad YUU ESS MAHRENE who loves shouting "WAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!" before killing Iraqi civilians.

    >> Hyperion !!LtgOgT0wJFN 10/21/08(Tue)19:20 No.2851791
    I'm 183cm, work out, have an incredibly physical job and have maybe slightly above average intelligence and run like the wind.

    I play Eldar.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:21 No.2851794
    I just realised the armies thing is true, i play imperial guard and i've found im normal or average at basically everything.
    Average height, weight, blood type, 19year old white male doing computer science degree >_>
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:22 No.2851801
    Yeah, that was pretty much the ridiculous alternative media point-of-view I was describing.

    That's the problem with our young adults who have been "educated" by pedagogues their entire lives. When they leave the nest, they are presented with a flood of new information, true or not, which goes against what they have been told. But, not having their previous knowledge properly explained to them, it immediately becomes a straw man of itself in the face of new, amateurishly "progressive" points of view such as this very common one. The young mind, desperately seeking self-determination, rebels only to settle on a point-of-view with the merit of being contrary to one previously held. These young people sadly work themselves into self-righteous furies, which can be embarassing when they later in life become better informed. I attend school now, and I really do feel sorry for the people that I see like this, who have just enough experience to be dangerous. Fortunately, history shows that they will outgrow the phase about the same time that they actually start voting instead of "totally meant to vote."
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:24 No.2851806
    Hey it's new to me, and if it isn't already pasta, it's going to be!

    brb opening notepad.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:24 No.2851809
    >That your crusaders are purely a force of GOOD AND FREEDOM
    Nobody thinks that. Nobody thinks the U.S. Marines are composed entirely by shining paragons of light and joy. They are composed of human beings who joined the armed forces for any number of reasons, whether because they thought it was the best way they could serve their country or they hoped to use the aid granted by the government to help make their way through school later on, or for any other reason. I very much doubt that any of them enjoy what they do in Iraq. I very much doubt that any of them enjoy being thousands of miles from home in a hostile environment.
    >You shame your nation in the greatest farce ever perpetrated.
    They went to war because they are soldiers. That's their job. They didn't decide where to go. They didn't decide what objectives they were given. You can't blame the soldiers for the sins of the administration.

    >And before you spit back at me, I don't want you dead. I don't want George Bush, or John McCain, or Sarah Palin dead. I understand the importance of military actions. But those shiny boots and short hair cut do not excuse you from your crimes. And when you've had your fill as one of America's "Heroes" and are done playing big-bad-mercenary for Blackwater hope someday you reflect on the shame you have brought upon yourself and jingoistically praised nation.

    Get off your high horse. If you had any idea what you are talking about, you wouldn't bring up Sarah Palin as one of those to blame for the war in Iraq. Nor would you talk about "bringing shame" onto a country by being a soldier. You dare to judge when you cannot know. People like you are among the worst that I know. There is nothing special about you that gives you the moral high ground. You're just human. So are every one of the soldiers in Iraq. A little tolerance goes a long way.

    That said, i hope something painful happens to you.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:32 No.2851845
    >You can't blame the soldiers for the sins of the administration.

    And the Germans of the 30's are clean of the blood of the Jews, right?
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:40 No.2851897
    There is a *slight* difference between gassing millions of people and shooting insurgents.

    I do get rather tired of the idea that we are over there hosing civilians all the time. The only time an insurgent is identifiable is when he is holding and pointing an AK at you. Which they do not carry all the time. Weapons are stashed in convient locations. When traveling around within the city the insurgents go largely unarmed so that they do not make themselves a target.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:40 No.2851900
    Dammit I go to class and there are people fucking around pretending to be me.

    We dated for a while (my friend aka her boyfriend was kinda stupid and she got fed up with it). It was really nice but I gradually realized the nerd girl rumors are true, she had her fair share of problems but nothing I couldn't deal with. We kinda died off when I went to college 400 miles away.

    I really do suspect she had abuse issues as a child. Also, I discovered I am not all that comfortable with a foot fetish, sorry to any /d/eviants here.

    Her ex, apparently. She played Brettonians, Skaven, and Tyranids. I played Beasts of Chaos, Dark Elves, Chaos Marines and Ordo Hereticus.

    She kicked my ass at painting.

    2851514 is not me. You all got trolled by some impostor.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:41 No.2851905
    That is entirely different. When the US invaded Iraq, the administration used information that they knew was false as an excuse. The marines legitimately thought that they were going to a country whose ruler had malicious intent against the land where their friends and families lived. Tell me where the desire to protect your country translates to being exactly the same as a horrible murder machine.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:43 No.2851913
    Of course people're pretending to be you, you've had a girlfriend, and a cute little Asian nerd at that! We're all so jealous...
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:52 No.2851978

    Hey man. You all need to shut up. Just shut the fuck up. Real soldiers is the only one's that have any right to talk. And We doe what we told to. Yeah, I do love killing Hajji, cuz those fuckers attacked us first. But you all need to CALM THE FUCK DOWN. We're fighting them over there so you don't have to fight them in your Starbuckses.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)19:56 No.2851996
    0/10 try harder. But you're right about people being pretentious faggots about the OUT OF IRAQ NOW shit.
    >> Anonymous 10/21/08(Tue)21:58 No.2852726
    Well then, fuck you. That seems like a pretty fucking fun thing to do.

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