Did someone just mention Dwarf Fortress?

Because I think someone just mentioned Dwarf Fortress.

OH FUCK DWARF FORTRESS THREAD!

sage

>>2893345
UN-SAGE, FAGGOT

Squat Fortress?

In the year 40K? Defending against Tyranids and Chaos and Orks as you mine the land to make your home and gather precious minerals?

This is my fortress.

Dorfs? In my /tg/?

>>2893350
To be frank, everyone NOT putting sage in the e-mail field when posting in /df/ threads loves multiple nigger cocks penetrating every orifice.

>>2893374
But I dont see your mother posting here...
I think your logic is flawed.

>>2893374
>BAAAWW

>I CAN'T PLAY DWARF FORTRESS

>IT'S TOO HARD

>THERE'S NO TUTORIAL TO HOLD MY HAND

>WHY DO I LOSE SO MUCH

>THIS GAME SUCKS

To be frank, everyone putting sage in the e-mail field when posting in /df/ threads loves multiple nigger cocks penetrating every orifice.

The concept of "Squat Fortress" totally embraces everything /tg/ loves and delivers it in one package. It's only time till /tg/ makes either a Squat mod for DF or creates a "Fortress Squats" Codex.

Or they might 40k it up a bit more and have "Squat Hulk."

You know it's true.

/tg/, I'm planning on adding two new races.

One playable, the other not.

Now, I want both to be arctic races. How exactly would I go about makeing the non playable one more hostile?

>>2893391

Not that guy, but how can you lose at Dorfortress? I've only been playing a while now, and I love it, but after a while I'm not sure what to do but just keep digging and pimping my fortress.

After how many hours does shit start to get real?

I HAVE WON THIS DAY!
MY DORF-BAMPING IS OVER, I LEAVE THEE TO THY DORFDOM.

>>2893425
That's because you smoke cock.

>>2893434
HARK! I SEE FAGGOTRY IN THIS SECTOR.
>>2893425
FARE THEE WELL, YON PALADIN OF ANTI-SAGE-FAGGOTRY, I SHALL KEEP THE BATTLEFIELD OURS IN YOUR ABSENCE!

>>2893451
That's because you ALWAYS see faggotry. It's in your whole nature, cocksmoker.

>>2893464
I THINK IN THE LANDS OF /b/ YOUR KIND WOULD BE CALLED "NIGGER", GENTLE SAGEFAG.

SQUAT HULK/FORTRESS

"I tried to handle 'nid swarms by irrigating vacuum canals activated via lever to blow the 'nids out, but my damn Squats forgot to close the damn airlock and ended up explosively decompressing everyone in the dining hall at the time... basically all of my nobles and half my standing military. All the cats managed to survive, though."

>>2893464
Just because he always sees faggotry doesn't mean that he isn't occasionally right. You, for example.

>>2893480
fucking cats

>>2893480
Worth it.

>>2893478
>>2893487
All the cocaine-laden nigger cock you smoke all day seemingly destroyed the last vestige of brain cells in you. WHY DON'T YOU SAGE A SHITTY /V/ THREAD?????

>>2893487
WELCOME TO THE BATTLE, BROTHER!

BOOB FORTRESS

>>2893487
WELCOME TO THE BATTLE, BROTHER!

This thread is now about Squat Fortress.

How do you guys handle Warp Storms? Seriously, they always fuck my shit up. I can only survive in one for 10-20 years before my Squats are eating eachother. And this is assuming that every dead Squat doesn't immediately burst into a pack of nurglings after 3 days.

>>2893503
YOU HAVE LOST, SAGEFAG.
I AM OFF TO SPREAD THE WORD OF DORF!
LET IT BE KNOWN THAT THIS DAY WAS WON BY THE DORF PALADINS!

>>2893538
Try channeling that shit. Trust me the resulting demon swarm is better than living in a fucking warp storm forever.

>>2893552
Not so fast, harlot!

>>2893564
What can you possibly hope to do? You're only one sage-fag. You'll never reach the 100 sages needed to bomb this thread.

>>2893556
not enough gunsquats to fight them. Fucking shit.

>>2893576
200 posts. Everyone posting in this thread furthers the goal.

>>2893538This thread is now about Squat Fortress.

the squats died because they tantrumed themselves to death

I can accept that as Canon

>>2893556

Don't listen to anon, you'll have Bloodthirsters bursting out of the skulls of half your Squats if you risk that shit. Best to just ride the fucking storm out, even if lasts a whole millennium. You gotta give them an outlet- set your Squats to engrave... like... everything... to keep their minds off of their insanity, while the rest is business as normal. It is harder without rogue traders to trade with every year, but if you keep them boozed up enough, they'll even eat nurglings.

>>2893640
>Bloodthirsters
>Only half

You must have fucking manly squats.

I had a colony of ~150 squats and a 50 squat army of mainly wrentchsquats with 10 masters and everyone died.

>>2893673
What? Did you have like... no traps at all?

I have a hallway that's like 20 tiles long and 2 tiles wide with just laser traps. It's great.

>>2893640

Fuck rogue traders, they only get you into trouble, one of my Squats got creative and engraved a scene of a previous Squat battle against a few demons of Khorne that occurred the previous year... then a rogue trader buys it... and I guess he didn't keep it to himself and showed it to the Inquisition cuz within a few months my entire Fortress gets purged by Grey Knights.

>>2893752
Or Grey Knights are just dicks.

I swear to Jesus.

In the middle of a warpstorm I'm trying to fight off the bursting nurglings inside my base when fucking Grey Knights show up and start killing my Squats.

I mean.

There were a horde of fucking nurglings outside my fortress and they barge RIGHT FUCKING IN and kill my Squats first.

Fucking d-bags.

>>2893538
>>2893556
>>2893608
>>2893640
>>2893673
>>2893751
>>2893752
>>2893784

This is made of Win. Keep this up.

>>2893308

Former sagefag here. Detecting too much win in this sector, can't keep it up.

So yeah, I was in year ~700 after finding the win and godliness of cryo (best way to story an army or best way to store an army ever?).

Fucking Space Marines landed on my planet during an orky uprising, luckily they hadn't spotted my fort's entrances.

Marines wipe the floor with the Orks and during the fight a few stray bolter rounds hit the side of a hill that I had dug into.

So my fort is now wide open with Marines just standing there for a minute or so, even after I unfroze my entire army (they couldn't even wound one marine) and the my screen just turns RED AND BLACK, DUSTCLOUD ICONS EVERYWHERE HOLY SHIT

And then I realized.

Fucking Marines orbital bombarded me.

Let me help you understand this.

They opened up the side of a hill -on accident-, found out it was hollow and saw maybe one or two Squats, then they called in a fucking NUKE.

GOD DAMMIT I HATE THE EMPEROR

I loathe Dorf Fortress with a passion, but I would play Squat Fortress in a heartbeat.

>>2893833
I prefer cryo to store all my legendary workers. It's like a living hall of fame that I can unfreeze if I ever need the economy boost.

Also managing power for cryo during a warp storm sucks ass.

sup /squatfortress/,

Alright, so my squats hit it fucking big. Digging along as normal and BAM, uncovered a Warlord-class Titan. Thing is... I'm keeping it a secret from AdMech cuz I don't want to fuck with them or the imperium, and even if I don't get purged, I wanna keep it. I got Ork problems- bad. I could really use the extra firepower.

So I made a huge workspace cavern around it, and I got all my wrenchsquats to clean it up and fix all the mechanical parts... but the thing is... I can't seem to activate or find the Machine Spirit. I think it's totally dead. What do I do? I don't even know if it's possible to make real AI, or is there some way I can sacrifice one of my Squats to replace it? Or am I just not hitting the right buttons?

I bet none of you have ever tried settling on a cursed deserted planet.

I'll tell you what, you need every tile to be a trap once the necrons rise up and rape your soft, tight buttholes with those gause rifles.

>>2893883
Bro, bro.

Just dismantle it. Squats are generally too stupid to use that shit properly. Take the cannon off and put it in a hallway that doubles as your entrance and then blast everything that isn't squat related.

If you wanna play like a REAL squat, you start your squat colony on a fuking genestealer-infested Space Hulk that keeps on slipping back and forth into the warp.

Anything less is easy mode.

>>2893912

Oh shit, good idea, didn't really think of that. Maybe I'll go all Mako-cannon style and build it into the side of a cliff aimed at the biggest orky warcamp.

>>2893883
What configuration? I need to know details. If it's fully gunned up, you've got an instant fortress defense array right there. Strip the corvus parts, they're just legacy remnants.

My squat fortress.

>>2894020
Heidegger, Department Head cancels Execution,
Interrupted by WEAPON.

Does anyone have another tileset for squat fortress? I can't tell the difference between stubbers and zoats, among other things.

Also, i managed to capture a striking scorpion in an eldar raid. How can i train it to be a guard?

Ah, Squat Stronghold, yes?
OK, it worked out pretty well. I started out with a fairly standard contingent. A warlord, a bunch of guildsquats and a Living Ancestor. The latter was my downfall. As you might know, they're not only psykers, but have the [RESPECTED] flag. Well, my Living Ancestor went batshit and carved adamantium bolter shells shortly before being possessed. Before I could realize what was going on, half of my stronghold was possessed and started to hose everything with adamantium shells from masterwork bolters.

>>2894104
That sucks, bro.

>>2894100
>Tileset

Lol

Oh man, does anyone have any truly awesome stories like boatmurdered for squats?

Maybe even a random legendary Carnifex attack?

I had just started. Made the most obvious mistake, an unprotected entrance. I've only seen it once, but in came A FUCKING PLAGUE EXOCRINE, firing spore mines THAT TURNED MY SQUATS INTO PLAGUE ZOMBIES! I shat bricks. Seriously.

>>2894140
I got attacked by a lone Boss Nob once, the readout was something along the lines of 20 feet tall, it was pretty badass. He carried a huge powerklaw and an [unspecified] gun (I have a mod that can generate weapons with random high stats for unique creatures) which turned out to be a combi plasma and las..

I think his name was Krakka Von Dakka DA Whakka or something hilariously rhymy like that.

The second after he emerged I get a message that my grand master artificer squat made a masterwork exosuit, so I took my highest level wreslersquat and stuck him in there and sent him out.

Normally this would be kinda (lawl watching a squat get torn to shreds) but it wasn't that simple.

So Krakka shoots some las at my squat in the suit and it starts to display an image I've never seen, which, of course, I just assumed was the squat getting blown/melted to bits. I was kinda loling at the whole scene when BAM. From my once thought dead Squat erupts a massive beam of las 3 tiles wide right at Krakka. I inspect the suit and it turns out it can absorb and shoot out las energy (sounds like the programmer needs to brush up on his lore though =\). It was still fuckwin.

I thought it was over and my Squat had singlehandedly drawn manly tears from my eyes when it turns out that Krakka wasn't dead.

I inspected him and both his arms had been blown off, his eyes blinded, and the rest of his body in pain but nothing that serious.

So guess what happens.

My squat charges in and starts duking it out with a 20 foot behemoth blindly trying to stomp at a Squat.

Unfortunetly I have no screencaps or savelogs for any of this. Ultimatly though, the Squat won and I took the powerklaw as a trophy and disassembled the gun and used it for energy. I also made a shrine with the exoskeliton and put a cryo with the awesome Squat in there if trouble ever arose again.

So am I the only one who's converted genestealer-infested squats back to the fold? Yeah, they always eventually freak out and start attacking your other squats, and you get enough of them and you're just waiting for a proper hive fleet to turn up, but if you keep 'em under lock and key you just can't beat them for close combat. I once had a squatstealer beat a bloodthirster. Mostly luck, of course, but still.

>>2894223
Someone needs to draw this.
Holy shit.

>>2894237
Yes.

Yes someone does.

>>2894230

You sir are a man among men.

fucking bump.

Awesome thread.

Funny story.

While I was starting up a fortress I got attacked by some heretic guardsman.

Normally this wouldn't be a problem because they would eventually wander into the traps I had out for them. The problem is that they caught one of my gatherers offguard and killed him. And wouldn't you know it, every fucking squat without a job started screaming "CLOTHES FOR THE CLOTHING THRONE" and they all fucking went out there to try and retrieve the dead squat's shit.

Worst ending ever.

sup /squatfortress/

I haven't really played this before, fucked around with adventure mode and shit, and I've played DF but I need some serious help in starting my new Squat settlement.

Basically I'm stuck with the initial loadout: Are Plasma weapons worth it? I don't really want to lose one of my first Squats, but I'm kinda afraid of all the crazy shit that you've been talking about, but I don't think Las weapons will protect me that much, and bolters seem too expensive for what they actually do in-game.

>>2894361
Fuck that ranged shit. Remove plasma, replace with power fists.

>>2894361
Bolters are expensive at first, but once you start gathering and get your workshops up and running it isn't a big deal. Barring that, you'll want to go with plasma. With plasma at least if you can't kill your enemy at range the gun will (hopefully) explode and take them down close up.

>>2894258
The trick is to have your vents half the normal size. This means you need two sets. All the same, I still put traps in them, 'cause you never know what can get into those things. And you know, if you're a squat, put traps EVERYWHERE. Comes with the territory. I trap the goddamn stove in the kitchen. 80% of the time? Worth it.

My biggest problem to date have been with the goddamn Tau. I don't even know why. I start a base on the other side of eye of terror and they still manage to show up (that's a bug, right?). And they're a bigger problem than space marines. Seriously, I don't get it.

>>2894398
Fucking Tau.

If you're lucky enough to find a magma vein/pool/well you can create a lava cannon. Primitive, I know, but it'll roast those space commies just as good as plasma fire.

Space Marines are a fucking menace. They built their goddamn monastary right in front of my entrance.

>>2894430
Oh man. Prepare to be purged something feirce.

>>2894325

Quit fagging up our AWESOME SQUATFORTRESS THREAD with your lame OP-related posting.

>>2894430
If you're late enough in the game, you can always build a Cyclops cannon and oneshot them.

My squat fortress.

OK, seriously, someone NEEDS to make that game, even as a DF mod. Shit'd be so cash.

>>2894437
Yeap. I'd just restart. Either you get stuck with a expanding Space Marine population and it's just a matter of time before they find you and start purging, or you wreck their monastery and then you get an extarminatus on your ass. I think I read some trick around it with the help of a high level psyker bringing down a warpstorm on your heads, isolating your system for a while so you can get rid of the space marines one at a time, but do YOU want to get stuck with a warp storm for several hundreds of years? I don't.

>>2894457
Eh, at that point wouldn't you have an orbital defense grid? I know launch platforms take up alot of space, but they're worth it.

... oh. Yeah, they could just have gotten there. Disregard, suck cocks etc.

>>2894502
Cyclops cannon CAN be built without the grid. Normally they count as orbital weapons, but you can adapt the Leviathan to take one.

>>2894533
My Gods. It's beautiful.

My god, it's full of squats.

DAMN YOU BASTARDS I WANT THIS GAME TO BE REAL

>>2894573
Isn't it?

>>2894602
DO IT FAGORT
Alternatively, FUND IT!

Orkses wuz here

Squats is a loser

WTF do I do with warp-sensitive Squats? Is that even canon? I've been killing them at childbirth just to be safe (though tantrums are a bitch). Though am I wasting a valuable resource?

I've been thinking about this plan... If I can dig like a 3x3 or 4x4 pit w/ elevator just inside my main entrance. Then throw every fucking cat and the Psyksquat down there and order him to continually probe the Warp until a bloodthirster or something bursts out of his chest, or turns the cats into bloodletters or something.

Then, when SPESS MUHREENS or whatever come to purge me, flick the elevator lever and have my demon(s) cause chaos at the front gate, then have mah Powerfistsquats finish off the weakened survivors.

Does /tg/ recommend this, or is it too risky? Or is there another system rather than the elevator-pit that would work better?

>>2894680
Don't bitch around because your shitty attempt to mod Orks into a playable race was ultimately futile.

>>2894692
Apparently you stumbled across a legacy error. Squats are NOT warp-sensitive at birth. They should start to get warp-sensitive at about 200 to 300 years if the flag is set. Warp-sensitive squats don't die and become Living Ancestors. The [RESPECTED] flag they get is a major risk if they go insane or get possessed though.

>>2894680

what is that? DO WANT

>>2894777
Looks like a gargant to me, built like an oversized deffdread.

SQUAT FORTRESS FUCK YEAH

How do I shot Squat Fortress?

Boltersquats are where it's at.

We need Squat Fortress motivationals.

I'm so glad /squatfortress/ kept this thread alive.

I love you guys.

Bumpan. More stories on the way.

reading this thread made my day

>>2894692

No, no, nO and NO. See >>2893752 and >>2893784. Do you really want Grey Knights knocking at your door?

I swear to GOD I hate this game.

Fucking Kroot. Fucking Squat AI. Fucking guns.

So yeah. Being hardcore on a desert planet, I got lucky and struck a deep underground water source (had layers of rock and gem all over it, it suddenly became easymode). Eventually, after an uneventful 200 years or so after I had created a few turrets and a cannon entrance a huge pack of Kroot showed up. Just in case you don't understand what huge means, I'm talking about fifty Kroot. Most were taken down by the turrets but a few made it into the cannon tunnel. I was assuming they were going after the rotting corpses of the random critters I had fried with my cannon, of course, so I start charging up my cannon. At around 50% they finish eating what's left of the various desert animals WHEN.

Theta?

A theta moves from one of the Kroot right onto my trapdoor entrance.

Where the fuck did Kroot get a fucking grenade?

I panic and I send all my guards to the gates preparing for anything else the Kroot decide to pull out of their ass, but luckily they start eating the grenade victims. Eventually, however, after my Squats finally decide to shoot, the Kroot charge in.

First thing that happens is all but two Kroot get mowed down by las fire. Both survivors leap towards the closes Squat and the lead Kroot grabs him and they both leap out trying to escape with their dinner. On their way out however, one of the Kroot dies, leaving the snatcher alive and running as fast as he can to get the fuck out. Squats follow. I just hope they don't accidentally shoot the kid(squat?)napped soldier.

And then. Red. Everywhere.

I fucking forgot about the cannon.

So, there goes all of my army.

Not a huge deal, I guess, at least the game didn't decide to dick me over and send more Kroots at that point... but still.

>>2898772
LISTEN TO THIS MAN. STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM GREY KNIGHTS.

Guys. I've been on this planet and slowly watched the human culture on it evolve and change over the ~3000 years I've been playing this fort. Space Marines just decided to use it as a recruitment planet and I'm concerned about the inevitable exterminatus. What should I do?

Squats were a part of the Imperium, there would be no killing of your fort unless you did something to majorly fuck up.

On a serious note, did anyone play the actual Squat Fortress mod that was out a few versions back? If so, how was it, and can it be ported to the new version and improved?

>>2898848
Why, oh why do you lie?

>>2898847
Thanks man.

>>2898848

Wait... seriously?

>>2893809
I think I loot'd a little.

Some of these showed up outside my fort what the fuck should I do?

>>2898781
And this is why you don't make fixed installations for your cyclops cannon. Yeah, the Leviathan NEEDS a large tunnel - five squares at least, with large rooms to turn - but it's SO worth it.

>>2898881
OH MY GOD FUCK YES

>>2898881
Fire everything you've got at them. They're basically shorter CSMs.

>>2898859
Yes, really.
Had lasguns, chainaxes and everything if I remember right. 40k races instead of Dorf ones. But due to engine limitations, no vehicles.
Think the main enemy races were orks and tyranids.

Bumping to try and get a little more win out of this thread.