98 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Another barrel marked: "WARNING!! Permanently Empty Box!!" Any item or person within 3 feet of this second box when it is opened must make an appropriately difficult roll or be sucked inside and vanish. It continues to suck air into it with a loud roar until closed

97 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

As you open the barrel A barrage of fists slamming into your body while somebody screams ATATATATATATA, followed by a manly voice saying "Hokuto Hyakuretsu Ken! You are already dead." Take a DC 50 fort save. If you pass, you die instantly. If you fail, your body explodes.

96 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Inside the barrel is pieces to what seems like are needed to make barrels. This barrel is always filled with barrel pieces that you can take out at anytime, and create a infinite number of barrels with. But you must finish a barrel before you can start another.

95 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A copper ring, that appears to be magical, when worn, curses the holder. The curse transforms all non copper coins, into the copper equivalent.

This amuses me.

94 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

There is name tag inside the barrel. It reads "HELLO, My name is: GOD"

When worn, everyone believes the wearer is of higher power.

On the back of the name tag, someone wrote in "WARNING: Do not reproduce while wearing"

>>3088664
Hrm... stick + saw + rudimentary carvings =infinite pennies?

94 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see what's inside, pass the loot around.

A tiny sphere of burning lava supported magically inside a glass jar.

93 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Opening the barrel releases a toxin. You pass out unless you meet the 30 Fort save. Upon waking, You cannot remember your name. No other memory is lost. Your name is forgotten from everyones mind, erased from time and space.

92 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Upon further inspection, this barrel is not really a barrel. But a statue of a barrel, appeared to be made as a tribute to barrels.

91 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Inside is a note, and a scroll. The scroll is a wish spell, and the note is a warning. Written upon the note it spells "Warning: Please Do not wish for infinite number of clubs. It will work, and it will destroy everything ever. Thank you.
~The Universe"

>>3088656
Where do I find this barrel? My dwarfs need one desperately. (damned treeless volcano)
>>3088701
Hmm... I've got about 10 uses for this in 30 fucking seconds. Gimme.

90 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Inside, you find the most delicious cheesecake ever created. You can tell that if you even so much as smell it, every other food you ever eat will taste like cardboard soaked in sewage in comparison.

89 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A Bear trap that, when triggered, summons a dire bear to attack whoever tripped the trap. that person gets a -10 penalty to the bear lore check due to excruciating pain.

88 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Written on the inside of the barrel you find the words:
- The human whose name is written in this barrel shall die.
- This note will not take effect unless the writer has the person's face in their mind when writing his/her name. Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected.
- If the cause of death is not specified, the person will simply die of e heart attack.
- After writing the cause of death, details of the death should be written in the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds.

87 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

~340gp
~a small sapphire worth an estimated 400gp
~a +1 longsword of elvish design
~a small wooden chest with iron lock, contating aged elven herbs (Treat as healers kit) and 4 cure light wound potions. The pick lock DC is 25, The Break DC is 15 but the excessive force will destroy 1d4 of the potion vials.

86 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A ruddy-looking magical rod that has the power to turn up to 100 square feet of floor (or similar surface) into lava when an activation phrase is spoken. Wielder must have line of sight to target area. Anyone on a portion of floor that is turned to lava is allowed a reflex save or equivalent chance to avoid injury. This effect lasts for one hour.

Activation phrase: "THE FLOOR IS NOW LAVA!"

98 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A pseudonatural pony. chopped up into cubes and all the cubes are trying to put itself back together.

>>3089453
SLOWPOKE.jpeg

>>3089474

>SLOWPOKE.png


fify

>>3088631
Where the hell did that picture come from?

>>3089514
Harry Potter, duh. Look at the damn caption!

FUCK I WANT TO POST A BARREL BUT I DONT HAVE ANY

bump

How many of these did OP post?

Judging by the different styles several different people posted including myself.

As /tg/'s attorney I must advise that /tg/ compose more of these as quickly as possible and post them for my amusement.

>>3092682
Imposter! I am /tg/s attorney.

85 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

You find a wand that has 100 uses of MAKE TINY. This spell makes the targeted thing the scale ratio of 1:64. Nothing is effected but size.

bump

98 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

As you crack the barrel open, you notice the barrel contains yet another barrel. Twelve barrels later, there is still a barrel of a slightly smaller but roughly same size in the debris of the previous barrels.

A small label reads: NOT FOR USE FOR ANY OTHER USE and KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

>>3093364
Fuck I meant 84. stupid copy/paste.

83 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A beard marked "Disguise Kit: DWARF". Anyone who wears it will be seen as a Dwarf until it is taken off. Underneath is a dress marked "Disguise Kit: ELF" it does nothing.

82 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

As you crack open the top of the barrel, find yourself looking into the vast depths of an inhuman eye, with a pupil somewhat like an octopus but also like a dragons'. It looks angry.

81 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

It explodes! Why is there always a fuckton of explosive barrels around?

80 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

It's empty.

79 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

a large crystal jar filled with roughly 3 gallons of Dragon semen.

>>3093675

Just what I needed to finish my elixir.

78 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Everything.

77 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A barrel golem.

76 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

The Barrel comes to life and lunges at you. Only your "Barrel" skill can save you, roll those dice and...

Do a Barrel-roll!

77 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A stack of character sheets, a bag of dice, pencils, and a complete set of Bureaus and Businessmen core books.

Make an intelligence check at DC 15 to roll up a twinked-out human resources manager.

75 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

You find Scrhoedingers cat. Maybe.


Going to bed, I hope this will be finished and archived.

>>3093893
Make that 74 barrels*

73 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Upon opening, "Song of Storms" From LOZ:OoC starts playing in the partys head.

It never stops.

>>3094077
god DAMMIT! I just got that out of my head yesterday after whistling it for 3 damn days straight.
Fuck you, anon.
Fuck you.

(whistles irritatedly)

72 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Baby photo albums of you and everyone you can remember from your early childhood, but something is off. In all the pictures with your parents, your friend Johnny has been sloppily cut and pasted in place of you.
In fact, he's been put in place of all your friends too. Thousands and thousands of pictures of Johnny, filling all but the bottommost album.

In the bottom album are pictures, apparently unaltered, of you and all your friends, appearing as a single family. In the place of the "parents" in the picture are 2 10 foot tall demons, their flesh charred and cracked, their faces leering down upon the assembled children. Johnny is nowhere to be seen.

71 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

6 largish, irregularly shaped crystals, warm to the touch, and pulsing as though beating hearts. They appear to be amethyst, jade, sapphire, quartz, ruby, and topaz.

Should one be picked up, a wordless query will be projected into the possessor's thoughts, to which the holder can think an affirmation or a refusal.

Should they refuse, the holder will feel an overwhelming urge to put the gem back in the barrel.

If approval is granted, the bearer will be infected with a disease that will cause them to sweat similarly-colored liquid over the course of 2 weeks. Each day, a CON save must be made; failure temporary reduces the bearer's INT by 2. Each day that the INT save is failed, a second save must be made with failure resulting in a point of WIS loss.

After the two week period, if the bearer has survived, and their INT has not dropped to 1, they will feel as good as new, if not better, having gained 5 STR, 5 CON, and the ability to transform into a crystalline golem-like structure by declaring "Gem Setta!"

In this form, they have access to all of the powers and psionic abilities of a gem dragon of the appropriate type, at an age category equal to the sum of their character levels.

70 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Inside is a DMPC. It is of the finest craftsDMship and menaces with spikes of railroading.

>>3094449
Lets bring this train off the tracks! CHOO CHOO!

98 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

The Shadowrun 5E Core Rules book. Reading it fills you with an inexplicable desire to wear black boots and trenchcoat on the beach in the middle of summer.

69 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

When you open it, you hear "Bow chicka bow wow." It's otherwise empty.

>>3094825
Be careful man. My brother died that way.

68 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A voice issues forth from the depths of the barrel:
"I like my women like I like my barrel. FILLED WITH BEEEEEEEEES"

2d6 swarms of BEES are summoned surrounding the barrel. They are not initially hostile, but are fucking bees.

67 barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see what's inside, pass the loot around.

Inside the barrel are a pair of collapsible hoops, unfolding to a two-foot diameter. After the command word is spoken, anything passing through one will disappear and appear through the other. The command word is not written anywhere.

67 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Inside, you find a book about bears. Over the course of 279 pages, it informs you that bears like to use their claws to attack. You feel enlightened.

66 barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see what's inside, pass the loot around.

Inside is a pot of paint. The paint changes color according to what color the painter wishes it to be, and the pot never runs dry.

The paint also thins itself.

66 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around

You find a deer bone amulet. It menaces with spikes of obsidian. On the amulet is an image of an elf and a dwarf in raccoon leather. The elf is cowering. The dwarf is striking a menacing pose.

archive requested

65 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A croc. A big-ass fucking crocodile. It's also a big assfucking crocodile. Roll for initiative. And anal circumference.

64 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Inside the barrel are two iron gauntlets. When worn, the wearer has the ability to pound the ground, when this happens, the magic activates and his fists turn to stone. Depending on what is pounded on, changes the hands to that type of stone.

EXAMPLE: Pound Limestone, Get Limeston Hands. Pound IRON get IRON hands

>>3095130
I was not aware that metals were made of stone...

>>3095222
Welcome to DND LAND!

>>3095315
where Iron is made of stone and grass made of ass

65 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Upon opening the barrel, you smell the strong smell of shit. when looking inside the barrel, you see a flesh coloured corridor with a small spot of light at the end.
The light gets bigger and bigger, and you feel movement...

63 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Rhesus peanut butter cups. Nothing but small vessels made of brittle peanut substance with monkey meat inside.

62 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Inside you find a SHIT TWINKIE

61 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

It is full of monkeys.

This is nowhere near as fun as expected, until someone finds the SECOND barrel at the bottom.

The one with the switchblades.

60 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

This barrel is right next to Barrel 61. Inside is mini tuxedos.

>>3095585
>>3095606
Oh fuck yeah

60 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Three cases of discontinued Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles soft drink cans, which stain your tongue the colour of the character's headband.

59 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

It's Doctor Livingston! You presume.

rolled 16 = 16

58 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

This barrel contains three wineskins, one with ale, one with wine, and one with alchemists fire. The bags are constantly changing their contents when not being used

58 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A throwing hammer of Elven design. Works normally unless a Dwarf tries to use it. Then the hammers throws the dwarf.

57 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A sauce, reddish-orange to brown in color. When put on ANYTHING, it becomes edible, if not especially palatable.

Obvious Barrel is Obvious, and has a big 57 on the side.

56 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A speaker which plays a song on opening.

On a cold winter morning, in the time before the light,
In flames of death's eternal reign, we ride towards the fight.
When the darkness has fallen down, and the times are tough all right.
The sound of evil laughter falls around the world tonight.

Fighting hard, fighting on for the steel, through the wastelands evermore,
The scattered souls will feel the hell, bodies wasted on the shore.
On the blackest plains in Hell's domain, we watch them as they go,
Through fire and pain, and once again we know...

So now we'll fly ever free, we're free before the thunderstorm,
On towards the wilderness, our quest carries on.
Far beyond the sundown, far beyond the moonlight,
Deep inside our hearts and all our souls...

So far away we wait for the day,
For the lives all so wasted and gone;
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days-
Through the fire and the flames we carry on!

>>3095359

A portal in your arse?

After you cleaned your soiled leggings, could you not make things larger by sticking them in your bum? Like, a gold coin of average size going in would be much larger coming out the top of the barrel.

Rinse, smelt, repeat I say.

55 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.
A gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater.

I think the numbering is off a bit.

Upon reaching into this barrel, the portion of your arm inside it bends back out as though reflected. Although painless, it is somewhat disconcerting to have tw­o parts of your body occupying the same space. Pulling your arm back out returns it to normal.

50ish bottles on the wall take one down open it up.
Remove a pair of socks that keep your feet warm. You had believed they only existed in legend

>>3096016
GET OFF WAREHOUSE 23 AND COME UP WITH ORIGINAL CONTENTS.

Blablabla, open it up.

The hat the man in OP's picture is wearing. Putting it on allows one to fly at any speed the wearer can think of. No one knows what the maximum velocity it is able to attain as it only works on sentient, living beings, and those tend to break their necks due to inertia.

51 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Inside is a small sheet of paper with the following:
0100110001101111011011110110101100100000011101010111000000100000011001000111001001100001011011010110
00010111010001101001011000110110000101101100011011000111100100101110

>>3096270
Not dramatically enough.

A bunch of oversized gold coins. They smell faintly of feces.

You open up the barrel and find:

/x/

how did that get in here?

A cream pie twangs up and splats into the face of the PC who opened the box.

49 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

An inside-out bag of holding.

48 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

We find your mom and seems to want to share the wealth.

48 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

The Heart, Liver, Lungs, Onions, Oatmeal, Suet, Spices, and Salt Mixed With Stock and Boiled For Three Hours in the Stomach of Vecna

>>3096499

48 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

the barrel is filled with immovable rods. on the top is a note that says "referance point set to galactic core."

>>3096524

>the barrel is filled with immovable rods. on the top is a note that says "referance point set to Universal Stillpoint."

fify

47 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A small notebook with a number of rambling dissertations on the nature of reality. In the back cover is a small slip of paper that reads:
01010111 01100101 01101110 01101110 00100000 01101001 01110011 01110100 00100000 01100100 01100001 01110011 00100000 01001110 01110101 01101110 01110011 01110100 11111100 01100011 01101011 00100000 01100111 01101001 01110100 00100000 01110101 01101110 01100100 00100000 01010011 01101100 01101111 01110100 01100101 01110010 01101101 01100101 01111001 01100101 01110010 00111111 00100000 01001010 01100001 00100001 00100000 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01000010 01100101 01101001 01101000 01100101 01110010 01101000 01110101 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100100 01100001 01110011 00100000 01001111 01100100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100101 00100000 01000110 01101100 01101001 01110000 01110000 01100101 01110010 01110111 01100001 01101100 01100100 01110100 00100000 01100111 01100101 01110010 01110011 01110000 01110101 01110100 00101110 for use against German robots.

>>3096604
I'll admit it. I laughed.

47 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A bunch of dead babies

46 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Nurglings lounging in the barrel, which is half full of a boiling liquid.

Further testing will easily prove the liquid to be Germ-X.

And find...

The DM. He looks pissed and tells you you weren't supposed to be here for two more levels.

45 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Jimmy Hoffa. He looks determined as he stands and wanders away, muttering about unfinished business.

>>3096615
Please help me get it then. It almost looks like there's a hidden word in the code, but my tired eyes can't see it, and I don't do binary to letters...

>>3096814
Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.

>>3096531
Delicious Haggis of Vecna

>>3096840
lolling..OH SHI-

42 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see what's inside, pass the loot around.

It's a ham steak.

41 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see what's inside, pass the loot around.

It's another ham steak.

40 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

The head of Vecna, complete with elaborately detailed instructions to it's use written in Common, Under Common, Draconic, Abyssal, and French. Those reading the instructions must pass a DC 35 Will save to resist temptation.

39 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Inside this barrel is a stone that would make a lovely soup. Provided you also add some carrots, onions, meat and other such things. But it's the stone that gives it the flavour.

38 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A red laser focusses on you from the blackness, and a chillingly innocent girl's voice speaks out with a slighthy synthesized reverb.

"There you are."

37 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

You find... Twelve thousand tonnes of durian fruit. The barrel acts as an interdimensional storage space unless breached, whereupon all contents immediately disgorge into the vicinity.

36 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

You find:
A small room with a pedestal holding a pair of obviously magical swords. Next to them is a young girl, she looks at you and says, "Please do not take these items!"

35 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

You find... highly expensive Adamantium bars in a number that is divisible only in a manner of n+1, where n is the number of people in your party (who would have a fair share of the loot).

34 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

You find the barrel filled to the brim with cocaine. Sitting on top is a double edge razor blade and a small mirror. On the back of the mirror is a strange symbol. Make a knowledge (GRIMDARK) check to recognize it as the symbol of Slaanesh.

34 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

The Hat.

32 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A totally legit-looking van driven by a smiling, friendly chauffeur. He wants to give all of you lifts to the nearest treasure vault.

Get in the van.

No, he said get in the van. It's not a request.

Look, get in the fucking van, or we'll have a fucking problem, and somebody's going to have to lose a fucking kidney.

31 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

You just startled the witch.

30 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

It's full of Mandragora seeds.

29 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

You find... a cursed dagger. 1d3 damage, 19-20 crit. Curse only activates for the second person to touch it with their bare hands. Acts as if sovereign glue has been applied to the hilt.

99 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A hot slave chick, looking for a man

28 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

An action figure of yourself with a contract for image rights already signed by you

27 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Inside is six smaller barrels all attached together with twine. On the side of each barrel is written "Coca-Cola." Inside each is a syrupy, dark substance. Drinking one let's you stave off exhaustion from lack of sleep for one hour.

26 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

An endless box of endless bag of holdings.

26 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

You crack open the barrel to find the phone number and picture of a girl named Macha.

This barrel is filled nearly to the top with packing pea­nuts. Anyone who fishes around in it while thinking of an item will suddenly find it. Upending the barrel, however, merely produces an infinite supply of packing pea­nuts.

25 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

You find a Bowler Hat of DIABOLICNES.
When you put it on you instantly gain a thin, black mustache, a long, black coat and a surprisingly strong will to tie fer midens to train tracks.

25 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Your Barrel A Splode, hurting you. Badly.
You lose 59 hit points.

What happens when we reach zero?

>>3100396
ffffffffffffffffffff

>>3101885
What do you do when a room is completely looted?

You find another room.

24 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

The material components for creating what seems to be a gingerbread golem, along with what is noted "Instant Raising Powder".

Upon further examination, upon completion there would be enough for building 200 1 foot tall golems, or one 6 foot golem.

The instructions warn against consuming any assembled golem, due to "questionable morality and unknown temporal effects".

>>3102224
Eat it and give your DM a hell of a ride trying to explain what happens

23 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

The barrel contains Sunshine[25]

22 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A box of 300 candles and a note that says:

These will come in handy.
-A friend

21 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A book that has your name on it. It appears to be a self-completing model, as flipping to today's date has "Found this book"

Every subsequent page has "SPOILERS" written on it (with no date showing), save for the last one.

It reads "Death by grapefruit spoon disembowelment"

20 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A Pig of Everlasting Ham. Actually an endless supply of BRIAN BLESSED.

20 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

It is filled with the dismembered corpses of dozens of halflings.

19 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A tube of hair gel and a sword 3 sizes too big for the character opening the barrel. On it's own, the sword is impossible to wield effectively for the character...unless they use the hair gel to spike their hair into ridiculously idiotic styles and proportions. As long as their hair is gelled and spiked in this proposterous fashion, the sword can be wielded by the character as if it had the weight of a feather, and the character has proficiency in the weapon.

18 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

An energy drink. When drunk by someone male, they gain extraordinary seductive powers. When they next have sex with a woman, she will become pregnant with 400 babies that can run faster than most humans as soon as they are born.

17 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

An enchanted head of lettuce that will grant any wish, so long as the wish is related to produce.

16 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.


You find TORDEK
He is in it FOR THE BITCHES

15 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

Salvador Dali, as a crazed epic-level Wizard. He makes liberal use of Wish spells to reshape reality to be like his paintings.

14 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

You find a sunstone grate. This is a sunstone grate. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is decorated with larch and sailfin molly bones and encircled with bands of chert and menaces with spikes of pink garnet. On it is an image of dwarves in sunstone. The dwarves are traveling

Posting in a epic thread

13 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.


You see Jim Profit's flayed body.
Burn it

12 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A small pin that appears to be any one of the various beneficial amuletes, brooches, or scarabs.

12 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

The barrel is filled by nothing but blood and severed limbs. Roll knowledge (GRIMDARK) to identify the symbol of Khorne.

If a player can identify the mark, they may reach into the barrel and pull out a bloodstone, which will allow them to summon a Bloodletter for 1d12 rounds. However, this does not grant any control over the greater demon.

11 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A wizard hat and robe, as well as a spellbook entitled Book of Erotic Fantasy.

10 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A pile of hollowed out skins, each of which look like a member of the party, only with the opposite gender.

A echoing, gravely voice echos from somewhere in the room:

"DO IT FAGGOTS."

10 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A large stack of parchment cards. They all have the same back, brown with a strange array of five colored dots, and on the front any number of strange beasts and sites. Some of them look like drawings of land. If a player touches the start stack of cards, they instantly have the urge to find another owner of these strange parchment cards, and challenge them to a game, pitting their collections against one another, all the while imagining themselves as powerful mages who could merely walk across the planes.

9 barrels of barrels on the floor
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around

A tiny steamwork golem that will always be at your side, able to dispense your favorite drink from it's torso, and can recite up to three days worth of stored literature.

However, it does require constant winding, or the power that lets it operate will wear it.

It was sitting there winding itself before you arrived.

in b4 floor with 99 barrels in the last one

8 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A golden apple, inscribed in mind-blasting runes that worm their way into your brain, intoning "TO THE PRETTIEST ONE"

All players immediately become avatars of various gods, who bicker about who gets the Apple of Power.

7 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A cloud of spores erupt from the now de-pressurized barrel. Creatures the size of hunting dogs, with two heavily muscled legs and excessively large mouths leap from the barrel, attacking whoever is near.

6 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A small tin of skub.

5 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

5 tons of Flax. Nestled inside the flax is a guide on properly consulting your Pineal gland.

4 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

It's a big fish bowl, filled with water and with a single carp swimming in it. Any dwarves in your party must immediately make a SAN check.

>>3104812
I am inexplicably glad that 5 was a Discordian thing.

3 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

The Holy Avenger.

2 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A gamergirl who finds you incredibly attractive, funny and interesting. Was also made in china.

2 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

A strange looking crossbow stock without an actual BOW. Runes on the side inexplicably say "AIM AWAY FROM FACE".

One Barrel of barrels on the floor.
Crack it open, see whats inside, pass the loot around.

YOU JUST LOST THE GAME.

>>3104889
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

You Magnificent BASTARD.

>>3104888
Should say "FRONT TOWARDS ENEMY".

-1 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see what's inside, pass loot around.

SANITY LOSS. SANITY LOSS. SANITY LOSS.

>>3104889
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>>3104889
>>3104898
Oh you magnificent bastards...

-2 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see what's inside, pass loot around.

All the broken husks of the 99 barrels you just searched for loot begin to float off the ground and swirl in a vortex around you. When the pieces explode in mid air into smoke, you smell a faint scent of burning pine and, strangely, a smell that reminds you of your grandfather.

I would say we need to do this again but we'd hit the auto-sage limit before we could finish.

also I'm so using this in my campaign.

"You see a barrel full of barrels. you grab one of them at random. roll a D%"

>>3104889
I had been wondering how THE ONE BARREL would turn out. This pleases me in my delighted rage.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUCK YES

-3 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Fuckers are regenerating even as you open.
Crack it open, see what's inside, pass the loot around.

A single large, candylike button is at the bottom.

Pressing it causes everything to disappear, leaving the players and the contents of the opened barrel strewn about the room floating in an endless field of white.

Further examination of the other barrels reveal similar buttons at the bottom of them, as well.

Pushing the button changes the channel of the universe to a theme where the contents of the barrels are appropriate to the situation at hand.

-4 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see what's inside, pass the loot around.

Pass go, collect -$400.

-5 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see what's inside, pass the loot around.

You open the barrel and see a naked human cramed inside. He starts to cry. Next thing you know you are crammed inside a barrel, unable to move, only hearing some guy yelling "FINALLY IM OUT."

-6 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see what's inside, pass the loot around.

Several silvery disks with writing and pictures on one side. Concentrating on a held disk for thirty seconds allows a character to travel to another campaign.

>>3107252
I'm going to give these to every single of my PCS FOREVER FROM NOW ON

>>3106087
I thought it was DO NOT pass go

-7 Barrels of barrels on the floor.
Crack one open, see what's inside, pass the loot around.

A bag containing 50,000 gold coins. Make a DC 50 Will save to resist putting the coins and the barrel back where you found them.