where nothing interesting ever happened.

THE END

it was ruled by a king who was a jackass, but he was kinda bearable and he was a pretty good speaker

>>3137478
Thread the second? Or an imitator?

This kinda sounds like Gilgamesh. Only replace "good speaker" with "will fucking kill you".

that rode ontop a giant lobsters back and was at war with the kingdom on the giant turtles back!

SOON THE LAST CLASS OF THE SCUBA KNIGHTS WILL BE UPON US!.

>>3137487
King Baldus IV!

but then one day, the evil lord asshole decided to attack

and holy dicks he was an asshole

i mean, fuck, he stole all the gold, that prick

oh fucking shit he even stoled the princess

what an asshole, she doesn't even like him, i bet he smells really bad and hes still making the princess marry him

>>3137530
Oh great. Now Mario's going to show up.

please whatever happens let their be lobsters

the king was so sad that he decided to promote a random squire to a full knight instantly and gave him a quest.....

>>3137570
FUCK NO NOW ITS A JRPG

KNIGHTS QUEST

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE

hokay, so ur in the castle

you can either go to the nearby town of shitslum to try and get a idea where the asshole is, or maybe try looking for him in the magical forest or the fabled suicide peaks

>>3137586
i move, and shoot

>>3137586

>FUCK KING WITH SWORD

>>3137586
I MUST ENLIST THE AID OF ONE HERO FROM EACH OF OUR KINGDOM'S ALLIES.

FIRST, TO THE MOUNTAIN REALM OF FUKARN'ROK, DEEP BENEATH THE NORTHERN MOUNTAINS. THERE I SHALL ENLIST THE AID OF KHALID OAKDICK, BEARDKING OF THE KINGBEARD DWARVES.

>>3137591
SUICIDE PEAKS

>>3137586

Kill yourself!

Elf Forest! Go to the Elf Forest and fuck an elf!

>>3137591

let's go straight to the forest I dont need any preperation

>>3137591

Seriously though, Kill yourself, its the only way to get to suicide peaks!

FORGOT THE PRINCESS AND GO PURGE THE WORLD OF ELVES!

>fuk king's witch sword

your blade is the legendary Fuk King's witch blade, a masterfully crafted blade that is said to be unbreakable. you got it from your deadbeat dad a few years ago

Pull the lever. The one marked FUCK THE WORLD. I'm sure nothing bad will happen.

>SUICIDE PEAKS
you begin to walk to the fabled suicide peaks. its a really nice day today.

wild sign appeared

>>3137681
Ignore it, it's probably not important.

>>3137681
AAAAAAAAH A SIGN!

>>3137681
You've a powerful enemy this day, sign.

HEATHEN SIGN MUST DIE

>>3137681
"You've made a powerful enemy today, sign!"

>>3137681
The sign's gonna kill us! RUN!

>>3137681
use sign language

>>3137681
AGGRESS!

>>3137727
WIN

also, TURN BACK LIKE THE SIGN SAYS

>>3137681
>wild sign appeared
I decide I need to take a leak (pic semi-related)

ROLL FOR INITIATIVE

>HEATHEN SIGN MUST DIE
you grasp the sign by its throat and begin to choke the life out of it. the sign's neck breaks, and you toss him aside. those who stand against the glorious king must be punished. mrs. sign and her kids will never know why papa never came home

-1 karma

>>3137681
fucking do something

>>3137770
I obey the sign and turn around. I'm going to go to the magic forest instead.

>>3137770
I SEARCH THE SIGN FOR LOOT!

aha! you've reached suicide peaks! or, you've reached a spot thats pretty close to it. never mind, you're still miles away. wanna go back to the town or the forest or keep going

>>3137818
KEEP ON GOING TO THE PEAKS!

>>3137770
>mrs. sign and her kids will never know why papa never came home

>>3137818
RUN THE FUCK AWAY.

>>3137818
keep trying

>>3137818
DRINK YOUR OWN PISS!

>turn around and head to the magic forest

'oh, fuck it, i went far enough, i'll just say nothing was there' you think to yourself. goddamn this is going to be a long walk back

>>3137838
NO YOU IDIOT!
THE SAFEST PLACE IS THE PEAKS!
BECAUSE IF YOU GO INTO TOWN YOU'LL BE DRAGGED INTO FINDING THE PRINCESS, AND IF YOU GO TO THE FOREST ELVES WILL NO DOUBT TRY AND SHANK YOU! NO ONE BUT PEOPLE WANTING TO KILL THEMSELVES WOULD BE ON THE PEAKS!

your knight senses tingle

o snap

>>3137850
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!
NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!
NOW WE'LL BE DRAGGED INTO AN "ADVENTURE"

>>3137857

STOP

RIGHT

THERE

CRIMINAL

SCUM!

>>3137818
Looking kind of Neverhood, there.

>>3137865
HEY! LISTEN!

>>3137857
I roll to scratch!

oh god

theres a giant bear with two axes in front of you

YOUVE BEEN AMBUSHED

QUIT TO DOS

Ask the bear if he knows where the asshole is.

>>3137878
Dead God! A Godless Killing Machine!
I flee!

RUN AWAY IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION THAN THE DANGER IS COMING FROM! NOT LOOKING BEHIND BECAUSE THAT'LL SLOW ME DOWN! ALSO I SLOWLY BEGIN TO REMOVE ARMOUR TO INCREASE SPEED!
I'D RATHER BE AN ALIVE COWARD THAN A DEAD HERO

HALT

it bellows

DO YOU WORK FOR LORD ASSHOLE?

>>3137889
"Maybe?"

>>3137889
tell him to bend over

>>3137889
Distract it, then shiv it stealthily.
Repeat until it dies.

>>3137889
"No."

>>3137889
FLEE
FLEE
FLEE
DROP EVERYTHING BUT MY HELMET!

>>3137889
Only if you aren't going to kill me.

>>3137889
BE WARY! WERE THERE IS ONE THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE, AND THE OTHER ONES HAVE SNIPER RIFLES

ITS TROO IT HAPPENED TO MY BROTHER ONCE

Converse in a casual manner with the bear until he gets so bored, he excuses himself to go to the bathroom.

Then I slip past him while he's taking a shit.

>maybe

>>3137900
"What's that?" *Stab*
"Did you just stab me?"
"Don't be silly. It was him!" *Stab*

whats that supposed to mean

>>3137940
"Uh... Don't kill me?"

>>3137940

Tell him "I'm a ronin. I serve no one."

>>3137940
"What do you WANT me to tell you?"

>>3137940
I don't know. What is it supposed to mean?

>>3137940
"Anything you want it to me sweet heart ; )"

>>3137940
Quickly, while he's distracted, assume the horse stance! It's the only way!

>>3137952
This.

>converse casually

so... nice weather, huh?

>>3137940
WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE, FOUL BEAST!? I CANNOT SUCCEED TO 15 DC SKILL CHECK TO RECOGNISE YOU!

answer the goddamn question faggot

the bears getting angry, its unwise to keep stalling

NO YOU CUNTBEAR I WAS JUST TRYING TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOU AS A PERSON BUT REALLY YOU BEARS ARE ALL THE SAME

>>3137985
I don't know who my lord is. :(

>>3137985
"FINE GEEZ I WORK FOR LORD ASSHOLE >:C"

"please don't hurt me ._."

>>3137985
Shiv stealthily, sighing "no".

>>3137985
OHPLEASEDONTKILLMEISWEARIDONTKNOWATHING!!PLEASEPLEASEDONTKILLMEIDIDNTDOITISWEARISWEARITWASTHEOTHERGU
Y!!

>>3137985
AHH! No! DON'T KILL ME PLEASE

CRINGE

>seduce

anything you want me to be, sweet heart ;)

PISS IN HIS EAR

No speech.

Just RAMPANT FACE STABBING AND BLOOD.

FIERCE RAGE SHALL BEAT THE BEAR! FALL, URSINE FIEND!

>>STAB BEAR IN FACE AND ARMS

>>3137977

WHY ARE YOU SAGING THIS BEAUTIFUL THREAD!?

>>3137985

TELL HIM YOU ARE A CRIMINAL SCUM SEEKER.

Run away.
Drop everything but Helmet, because you're only whatever job you are if you have the headwear.

>>3138008
My new character portrait.

seduce fail

>>3138019
That's beautiful, Anon. It's also my new campaign setting.

>>3138025

Okay, now is the time to run.

>>3138025
grovel

>>3138025
PLEASE MR. BEAR I'M PREGNANT AND I'M ALLERGIC TO SHARP SLASHY THINGS!

>>3138025
I'm sorry, sir. I'm so sorry. I thought you were a lady bear. I'm soooo sorry.

>>3138025
PISS
IN
HIS
EAR

>>3138025
Resort to violence.
Skin the bear.

Bare this unbearable bear.

>>3138025
Ask "Do you know where Lord Asshole is?"

i.. err... i mean NO, I AM NOT

Do a barrel roll.

>>3138051
Put sword in bear

>>3138051
ZA WARUDO! the bear.

>Inquiry

WHERE IS LORD ASSHOLE

then, there were zombehs.

>>3138060
In his castle on the dickbutt pleatou Holeasselot.

>>3138069
NO KNIGHT YOU ARE THE DEMONS

I WAS BEHOLDER ALL ALONG IAHSFDGSKJFHDAFEREGSRGAEHSNFBDV

>>3138079
>Put sword in beholder

>>3138079
Do you want sum.........CANDY!?

Poke his eye.

>>3138079
OH GOD KILL IT

KILL IT NOW

Skull fuck is in order!

>>3138088
>>3138088
>>3138088
>>3138088
>>3138088

>>3138079
Relentlessly make "eye" and "beholder" puns.

>>3138079
PEPPER SPRAY IT IS ITS ONLY WEAKNESS!

SAJODIGOHSASBDABS

w8, i think its all good, we havnt rolled for intiative yet have we?

>>3138105
Fart.

>>3138079

if YOU want MOOOORE muscle in your PINGAS, press the S button

>>3138105
Currently loling at beholder's expression.

>>3138105
MENTOS AND DIET PEPSI! IT IS THE ONLY HOPE OF ESCAPE!

Drawfag must be getting tired.

THROW A STICK THE OTHER WAY IT WORKED IN THE DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS MOVIE

THERE WAS A MOV- GAH! SNEAK ATTACK!

NO! I MUST KILL THE BEHOLDERS!

oh god its so dark

>>3138136

no knight you ARE the beholders

>>3138139
I light a match and draw my Fuk King's Sword

>>3138139
MENTOS AND DIET PEPSI!

DO IT FAGGOT!

MOAR ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I shout at the darkness.

nnngggg

what the... im alives?

MAGIC WARHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE

>>3138177
Time for rape

>>3138177
succubus's and dicksword better be the next part or you suck as a storyteller

Y-YOU!? ITS CANT BE... I KILLED YOU! YOU'RE DEAD!

>>3138173

and then knight was a hammer

>>3138177
battle with skeleton

>>3138190
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

then you hear in a booming voice, "AYE AYE AYE, ITS OBESE JAMAR!

>>3138190

OH SHI-

>>3138177

THIS WILL NOT END WELL, OH GOD, HOW DID YOU GET THERE, WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES, WHY ARE YOU TIED UP

ONLY OPTION. PANIC

>>3138190

MOTHERFUCK

>>3138190
OH GOD SIGN LICH

huhahaha you fool

sign is a master illusionist. IT WAS ALL DREAM NOW U IN MY DUNGEON AND U STAY THERE FOREVR

A BIG FAT UGLY TROLL LUMBERS OUT OF THE DARKNESS. ITS FREAKIN HUGE. THE TROLL I MEAN.

>>3138236

DEAR JESUS CHRIST

>>3138177
Oh god, this is going to turn into Maximo...

>>3138236

>use fuk king's witch sword on evil lord asshole

>>3138236

you... you... DOUBLE NIGGER

>>3138236
fuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

two little golbins have been standing next to u poking you wiht pointy sticks. the troll, with surprising speed, snatchs both of them up into a grubby hand and yells, "AYE AYE AYE, IM GONNA EATCHA!"

>>3138236

Check self.

Am I leaking from any orifices?

this thread is surprisingly awesome. (everyone snaps out and realizs it a thread. "man screw you." "yea, u just fcked up a good thing."

now... if you'll excuse me... i have a wedding to attend!

shame YOU'RE not invited! MUHAUAHAHAHUAHDUAAA

i'll leave you two alone...

>>3138288
"NOOO PLEASE"

"I LOVE WEDDINGS LET ME COME"

but before obese jamar can gobble u up, a distant, yet aluring sound is heard in the distance. obese jamar looks around confused.

>>3138288
Say "WAIT! I'M SECRETLY THE REAL PRINCESS AND THE ONE YOU CAPTURED IS ONLY MY LADY IN WAITING"

>>3138288

29 castles were shat

Seduce the sign with your aluring charm and dashing good looks~! and throw in a joke about how the sign has given the knight "morning wood"

pee on boxers, use wet boxers to break chains

damn it sign.... you have to let me go! think of what you're doing!

>>3138288
I take my emergency lock pick from the plume of my helmet and pick myself free.

as the sound grows, jamar panics and in earthquake resulting leaps, he bound gracfully back to the shadows. as the sound get closer, u can make out some of the words. "never...give...full commitment..."

you have a family, don't you? the king has lost his daughter! do you know how badly that hurts? do you?

never gonna give, never gonna give! oh hey, everybody! ^^

dont... you...?

>>3138340
Baw Sign is Baw

i was just watlzing over here to kill obese jamar!


(special attack: rickroll- gets everybody dancing to its gay tune, u cant stop!)

rick astley then procedes to maul obese jamar. how he does it? nobody knows.

man they need better lighting in this dungeon.

hug the sign, crying

>>3138359

DADDY! (Or mom with a hormone problem) You always understood and was there for me :3

but the carnage wont stop, its doesnt no wat stop is.

Nooo Mr Knight !! Dont look ! its another Illusion !!

and somewhere in this thread, violence was inherited in the system. and now, there is rick astley. which we l8r find, is a half pink dragon.

huahuehuahuehauheuhauhauheuahuh

now....

Rick Astley wants to learn new move: Self-destruct
but Rick Astley can only know 4 moves. delet an older move to make room? rick-roll rick-roll EVERYONE
VIOLENCE ATTACK!
(do it. learn a move that will kill you. plz.)

...princess....

>>3138434
I look away

>>3138434
I AM YOUR MOTHER

its the sign !!

"that bitch has crabs!"

>>3138451

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN

KISS ME

nohoohoooo!!!

>>3138451
MINI-FIG.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

HURRRGFHGDASG

>>3138489
OH GOD I LOOK AWAY BUT I STILL SEE IT BLAARRRGHHH

HRRRRRNG

IM THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH

>>3138535
Ask "Where did you put my clothes?"

The princess got more and more plain as the thread progressed.

d-damn sign... betrayed me.....hrrrrrrrrrngg

well, you know what they say about signs
they always have two sides to them

>>3138569

http://www.instantrimshot.com/

>>3138569

thats not true at all, you're full of bullshit

you asshole thats a very mean thing to say im leaving

>>3138622
Remember to save princess.

AND THEN THEY ALL GOT EXPOLDED BY MARINES

>>3138649
EEELLLLLLLLDRRAAAAAAAAAAAD YOU FUCKING DICK!!!!!

congradulations

>>3138649
OH GODDAMN IT

>>3138649
best ending ever.

ALWAYS ANGRY
ALL THE TIME

SPACE MARINES RULE

But what happened to STOP sign!?

Wait, what?

>>3138667
if they just turned their mask upside down maybe they wouldn't be so goddamn angry and i could have made a real ending

BUT NO, THEY GOTTA BE SO GODDAMN FURIOUS AND BLOW UP EVERYTHNG

>>3138690
Heh..
>AND BLOW UP EVERYTHNG
... and that is a bad thing?

oh goddamn i missed the thread

>>3138659