Vampires are real, but not how you think.
You know that one really greasy guy who's always bumming drinks off you when you're all out with your friends? You remember that one really bad ex-boyfriend - the one who you got in that terrible codependent relationship with, where he abused you so much you were scared to leave? You remember that teacher who always knew just which buttons to push to make you feel small?
Those are vampires. They feed off of suffering. But it's harder to make someone's life miserable than you'd think. The human race is pretty resilient. You don't want to hit them with real pain, because then they'd just adapt. And that's like killing the golden goose.
So some vampires just sip away a little bit at a time, like that really weird guy who's always awkward around your female friends but not offensive enough to merit being told to fuck off.
Some vampires will continue to pound away at you, like CIA interrogators or crooked cops or snarling bosses. They'll find every way they can to break you until your every reaction is misery and pain, feeding them like a steady IV drip.
And some vampires will spend months or years building you up, making you feel special and magical and loved. All that time, what you don't notice is that they're cutting you off from the support groups you'd normally rely on in a crisis - friends, family, coworkers, hobbyists, neighbors, etc. Then, once you're in the palm of their hand, they won't just let you fall. They'll crush you, drop you to the floor and laugh on the way down.
Why am I telling you this? Because I care about you, baby. I only want what's best for you. You've got something special about you, baby, and I'd hate to see you get hurt. I can take care of you. Better than any of your "friends" can ...