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  • File :1232897626.jpg-(92 KB, 750x600, mcgyver41stmil.jpg)
    92 KB Agouri !!Q+SCob6iFc6 01/25/09(Sun)10:33 No.3514820  
    I've just started reading the 3 first books, /tg/ and let me ask you...

    Did this man weigh his chances and actually CHARGED TOWARDS A GROUP OF FUCKING HORMAGAUNTS?
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)10:35 No.3514826
    He also fought of a Hive Tyrant in CC with just his chainsword.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)10:36 No.3514834
    He is manly enough to do so

    Just like MacGyver
    >> Agouri !!Q+SCob6iFc6 01/25/09(Sun)10:37 No.3514838
    >>3514834
    >>3514826

    Gotta love him then
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)10:38 No.3514841
    >>3514834
    He's like a combination of Space MacGuyver and Captain Kirk.
    >> I apologized on 4chan 01/25/09(Sun)10:39 No.3514845
    >>3514826

    As well as a genestealer patriarch, though not at the same time.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)10:41 No.3514854
    >>3514841
    >Captain Kirk
    Except less heretical. Cain knows not to stick his dick in xeno poon.
    >> Neco !!2xEIaE6zQtD 01/25/09(Sun)10:42 No.3514859
    Are the books narrated in first person?
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)10:42 No.3514861
    >>3514859
    Yep, they're extracts from his diaries.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)10:43 No.3514864
    >>3514854
    Kirk didn't actually bang every single attractive female alien he met.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)10:43 No.3514866
    He took on Mitchell-Necrons and survived.
    >> I apologized on 4chan 01/25/09(Sun)10:44 No.3514870
    >>3514864

    He gave it a damn good try though.
    >> Agouri !!Q+SCob6iFc6 01/25/09(Sun)10:45 No.3514874
    >>3514861
    >>3514859

    There are some moments of third person narrating though, apart from those characters involved in the action

    Basically to make situations more intense
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)10:45 No.3514876
    Driving a chimera over a cliff edge after having tied a burning airship to the turret...
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)10:47 No.3514880
    >>3514859
    They're memoirs, so basically yes. I'd love to see just one book written from Jurgen's point of view.

    The tall, dark, craggy Chaos Temple rose, like a tall dark and craggy thing that was full of Chaos. I turned to my leige, and considered offering him a bowl of tanna from the thermoflask I kept with me. I could see the bravery burning off him like a fire that burns with bravery. He glanced at me, almost making eye contact but not quite. "Make a door.", he said.

    I turned and raised my melta. If the Emperor wanted Cain to tell me to make a door, then a door I must make.
    >> Neco !!2xEIaE6zQtD 01/25/09(Sun)10:48 No.3514888
    >>3514861

    All lies, then.
    >> Anoymous 01/25/09(Sun)10:50 No.3514897
         File :1232898615.jpg-(48 KB, 510x373, Yarrick_in_all_his_glory.jpg)
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    Yarrick here , Ciaphas Cain is a faggot!
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)10:50 No.3514899
    scans

    http://www.anonib.com/bookchan/images/4636/Warhammer_40K____Ciaphas_Cain_05____Duty_Calls___Sandy_Mi
    tchell__v1_0___Undead___lit_htm_pdf_jpg__anonib.rar
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)10:50 No.3514900
    >>3514859
    It's first person, past tense, and with footnotes left by the Inquisitor in charge of reviewing the work for heresy. In between chapters, there are occasional snippets from other fictional works, usually written by someone else who was in the area at the time.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)10:51 No.3514908
    >>3514854

    Mainly because Ms. Vail would cut it off. And keep it for herself after some holy rites of dickcleansing.

    He also defused a bomb with the power of LUCK in the third one. And stood up a mansion full of Slaaneshi cultists. And severely fucked up a Chaos Space Marine of Khorne's shit, Chainsword to Chain-axe. And survived two tomb worlds. And turned himself into a prophet of a sect of the Tallarn Raiders. And I quote from their holy book which quotes him (somewhat)-

    "Frak this, for my faith is a shield proof against your blandishments"

    Ms. Vail is certain he'd shit himself in terror if he found out he'd become a prophet.

    Series has quite possibly the least GRIMDARK of all the universe. Though it does get pretty fuckin' bleak... always.

    He is the second-greatest embodiment of
    ReasonableCommissar,
    The first being my man, Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)10:51 No.3514909
    >>3514880
    Yes. Please continue.
    >> I apologized on 4chan 01/25/09(Sun)10:53 No.3514920
    >>3514880
    >I could see the bravery burning off him like a fire that burns with bravery.

    This sounds more like something horseface would write in her memoirs.
    >> Agouri !!Q+SCob6iFc6 01/25/09(Sun)10:54 No.3514928
         File :1232898845.png-(146 KB, 340x318, FRONK.png)
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    Guys, i need a single piece of SPOILORZ:

    Does Judgen die?
    >> Agouri !!Q+SCob6iFc6 01/25/09(Sun)10:56 No.3514945
         File :1232899005.jpg-(12 KB, 162x195, daffy.jpg)
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    >>3514920

    Thatthejoke
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:01 No.3514966
         File :1232899290.gif-(4 KB, 80x80, ig_00.gif)
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    For those that don't know, Ciaphas Cain is a lazy, cowardly, rogue of a man. He hates his job, he would prefer to live the rest of his life as far away from combat as humanly possible.

    The emperor however has other plans for him it seems, and make all his attempts to run for his life, look out for his own skin, or screw over someone else to make him end up in a situation where he's forced to do something stupidly heroic to just get him out alive. He's gained quite a reputation, and everyone thinks he is a selfless hero, sending him even furthermore into danger. Much to his own annoyance.
    >> Agouri !!Q+SCob6iFc6 01/25/09(Sun)11:03 No.3514972
         File :1232899410.gif-(6 KB, 80x80, sagemareen.gif)
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    >>3514966

    Exactly.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:07 No.3514992
    Ciaphas Cain broke a Slaanesh mind-control spell out of sheer will, then said "Sorry, but I prefer blondes." and shot the witch in the fucking face instead of fucking her and having his soul goned.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:09 No.3514999
    >>3514966
    The emperor doesn't have any plans at all, being a dead bag of meat.
    >> Chaotic Cleric 01/25/09(Sun)11:09 No.3515000
    Cain, Emperor bless his bravery and dignity, was resting in the back of the Scorpion, and was getting his much-needed and richly deserved Emperor-given sleep when the Scorpion's auspex started beeping like a thing that beeps a lot. I couldn't see anything yet, so I just kept driving towards the base. Then the auspex began beeping and flashing, so I pressed my Comm-Bead and cleared my throat a few times. It always pained me to wake him when he was resting. "Sir? The auspex is-"

    "For Emperor's Sake, Jurgen! I'm trying to sleep!" As I had thought, he was not sleeping for himself, but because the Emperor wanted him to. I made a note to see the Confessor about my transgression, but nevertheless I persisted.

    "But the auspe-", was all I could manage before Cain once again showed me the way.

    "I don't frakking care! Just get me back to HQ as fast as possible! Let me sleep!" There was a sharp click in my ear. I shrugged and gunned the engine. The auspex was now beeping and flashing quite a lot, as the Emperor had decided it should. As we went over the hill, a line of filthy xenos came into view.

    I considered calling Cain again, as he usually likes to know about xenos. But he was resting for the sake of the Empire. I increased the throttle and poured myself some more tanna, spilling a little when the Scorpion's wheels hit the xenos. Warp take them, Cain hates a messy cockpit.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:11 No.3515006
    Ciaphas Cain has fucked a tech-priestess AND an inquisitor. And survived.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:11 No.3515007
    Han Solo is Ciaphas Cain
    Chewbacca is Jurgen

    Duke Raoul is Ciaphas Cain
    Doctor Gonzo is Jurgen
    >> Agouri !!Q+SCob6iFc6 01/25/09(Sun)11:12 No.3515012
    >>3515000

    Continuing the Jurgen chronicles, are we

    I fucking love you
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:13 No.3515015
    >>3514966

    Cain is the very incarnation of true courage

    Why? Because although he FEARS getting killed, he HATES doing that shit...

    He still does it and sucks it up and puts on a straight face and maintains his reputation

    This man has balls, doing shit that he despises and not breaking down into a blubbering fest of wimp

    In terms of a ratio, Cain has more courage than a Grey Knight, Custodes, Calgar, Dante, etc etc
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:19 No.3515039
    ARe the Jurgen Chronicles going to mention Jurgen's only hobby of jacking it to porno-slates?
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:27 No.3515077
         File :1232900850.jpg-(12 KB, 288x240, BR_Gaff_Is_Enigmatic.jpg)
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    >>3514928
    It's too bad he won't live! But then again, who does?
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:36 No.3515114
    >>3514928
    The stink isn't really stink.

    HE DIDN'T DESERVE IT. ;_;
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:40 No.3515129
    >>3515114
    It really really was stink. Jurgen's awesome, but the motherfucker has a serious hygience problem.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:41 No.3515131
    That's kind of like the time he predicted a Necron SUPERSTRIKEFORCE, fought off mind controlled Soriatas, killed the BBEG of an entire invasion fleet in single combat (shown on every screen and thus nearly every person on the planet at the time), and saved a world for the second time.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:44 No.3515145
    >>3515131
    He didn't predict the Necron force, he was surprised as everyone else.

    Also you forgot to mention that he kicked the BBEG in the ass OFF A BUILDING
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:44 No.3515146
    Protip: Jurgen's body odor is how mundanes perceive his psychic blankness. The psoriasis is all him, though.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:46 No.3515156
    >>3515145
    Throughout the book he's constantly "seeing the cold metal faces of inhuman killers" in his head, warning his cadets about green lights, and figured out the Necrons were after the fucking macguffin.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:47 No.3515157
    >>3515145
    what? no he had suspicions about it through most of the book, when they showed up they just confirmed his fears.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:48 No.3515167
    >>3515146
    No, I'm pretty sure it's real. Didn't some Tau get bothered by Jurgen's smell? I don't think they'd notice his blank-ness.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:51 No.3515185
         File :1232902314.jpg-(42 KB, 460x500, flashman460.jpg)
    42 KB
    Don't forget to read about Cain's distant ancestor, Henry Paget Flashman.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:52 No.3515188
    >>3515145
    And the badguy was Hitler with mind controll powers.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:52 No.3515189
    >>3515157
    >>3515156

    Oh, I stand corrected then.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:52 No.3515192
    >>3515167
    The smell is quite real. Jurgen has terrible hygienic habits. The blankness just adds to it.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:54 No.3515199
    >>3515167
    Jurgen does smell, you know. It's just that most people think the reason they don't like him is because of the awful smell, rather than their brain subconsciously telling them NO NO CANNOT BE NO NOT ALLOWED NO.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:54 No.3515201
    I like to think, right before he was taken off line duty, Cain managed to strand Jurgen on a planet of stinky people, far away from the front. Where, stinky old guardsmen are the BEST thing a woman can ask for, and he allows himself to settle down and spend the rest of his life making little stinky guardsmen for the Emprah.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:54 No.3515208
    I was wondering, I don't really know much about 40k since I don't pay attention to the threads here much and don't know many guys who play it.

    how "involved" are these books? can I just pick up and read without knowing who the Omnissiah is or who Commissar Yarrick is or what the Eldar are (past spess elves) ect.

    Or will it assume I have atleast some background knowledge and I'll be confused as fuck?
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:55 No.3515219
    I'm still reading through the first book, where Cain is fighting on Gargalax. I just got to the part with the Inquisitors Psyker was reacting badly to Jurgen.

    IS HE A FUCKING UNTOUCHABLE? GOD I SWEAR I'M GOING TO BREAK SOMETING IF HE IS.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:57 No.3515224
    >>3515208
    Sandy notorious for giving you as much background as you need.

    Every.Single.Time.

    A lot of repeating

    >Of course, had I known about the terrors I were to face, I would of ran away, screaming like a young space wolf before his first "wolf trials of the wolfy"....
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:57 No.3515225
    >>3515219
    Took you a while.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:57 No.3515229
    >>3515201
    Too bad Jurgen is still his aide during his teaching years, so that theory falls flat.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:58 No.3515234
    >>3515208
    Nah, you'll be fine. Bolter = awesomeass rapid-fire grenade launcher

    Mechanicus = technocult

    there. You're ready.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)11:58 No.3515238
    >>3515219
    You might want to put away all valuables then.
    >> Jurgen Chronicles continued. Chaotic Cleric 01/25/09(Sun)11:59 No.3515242
    The Commissar was in another meeting with the planet's leaders and the generals. There must have been something wrong with the refreshments, because not long after I had taken my seat by the air duct many of those present began looking ill. After a few minutes, Cain told me that I should wait outside in the fresh air, obviously concerned that I should not catch whatever bug had been going around. So I waited in the corridor and hummed a few hymns to myself.

    As the meeting dragged on, I pulled out my IGSI dataslate. It was full of very important Commissar documents and not anything else, especially not anything that might be considered heretical or unprofessional. As I browsed my extensive list of Commissarial documents that in no way depicted anything untoward, I decided that I should know the layout of the headquarters a little better in case Cain wanted some privacy where nobody could see him. I went down the hallway, looking for anyone who could inform me of such a place. Not long afterwards, I came to the desk of the secretary of the planet's overseer. She was very pretty, with blonde hair that looked like it had been combed and lips as red as the makeup she had decided to that day. She also looked rather like a picture I had seen on a data slate that was very important Imperial material not unlike the important Imperial material currently on my dataslate.
    >> Jurgen Chronicles continued Chaotic Cleric 01/25/09(Sun)12:00 No.3515247
    >>3515242

    I introduced myself, stating rank and position, and she immediately recognized the name of my liege, because everyone does. I asked her where the men's washroom was, and instead of telling me where it was located she asked me if Cain was seeing anyone. I told her that he was in a meeting, and there were many people in there that he was seeing. She laughed, but before I could restate my question from before she said, "I beta big man like you carries a great big gun." I told her that I did, that it was a melta, and that it was very heavy and hot and could punch holes in just about anything.

    At hearing this, she asked if I was busy right now, because she knew of a place where we could be alone. I told her that I would rather know the location of the washroom, and just to press the issue further I tapped my dataslate and told her it was very important Imperial Guard business. She told me it was down the hall and to the left. I thanked her, and then she told me that she was off after six and would like to handle my melta after having some dinner with me. I told her that I was the only person who was allowed to touch my melta, and then left for the washroom to see if it met the appropriate specifications for my important Imperial business that in no way broke any regimental bylaws or caused any sort of heresy.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:00 No.3515249
    >>3515229
    Jurgen's almost certainly dead. Cain alludes to this several times. "I miss him even now" etc etc etc.

    >>3515219
    Jurgen's a Blank. He's not a Pariah (negative warp presence) he's just basically not there. This comes in handy later on, because it severely confuses the shit out of some things which use the warp to see.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:01 No.3515257
    >>3515229
    Too bad he hasn't been taken off the line yet.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:01 No.3515261
    >>3515242
    That was great.

    I like to think that Jurgen thinks that no one else knows he's looking at pornoslates because to do so would land him in a ton of trouble. Of course, everyone else does know but doesn't care.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:02 No.3515266
    >>3515249
    >>Jurgen's almost certainly dead. Cain alludes to this several times. "I miss him even now" etc etc etc.
    Well, some of the articles were written pre-Black Crusade, some post, and Jurgen was around for Cain's Last Stand at least.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:03 No.3515274
         File :1232903029.png-(58 KB, 600x600, 600pxawesomegreaterthanpb0.png)
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    >>3515247
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:09 No.3515302
    >>3515131
    The first time was when he survived a crash landing, united previously unorganized rabble that was all that was left of the PDF, slogging through enemy territory, taking on the largest WAAAGH!! for three sectors, killing the Warboss personally, right?
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:10 No.3515309
    >>3515266
    Not only that, but it's heavily insinuated that whatever happened was exceedingly terrible, even by the standards of what Cain's seen to people in his life.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:12 No.3515317
    >>3515201
    ;_;

    He'd probably hold his breath and start swimming with his melta, trying to follow.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:12 No.3515320
    >>3515309
    Oh, God...

    Jurgen was promoted to Commissar.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:14 No.3515329
    >>3515317
    He follows them through the WAAAAAARP
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:15 No.3515341
    >>3515317
    He'd pull a Uzgob Rokkitranga', assembling a rocket out of nothing but his sweaty socks and old ration tins. His stench piercing the heavens as he let slip the surely bonds of the planet.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:17 No.3515348
    Are the books on /rs/?
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:19 No.3515361
    >>3515242
    >>3515247

    Holy wow.

    The best part is, he totally misses the innuendo she assumes he's making, and yet somehow manages to tell her that he's going to masturbate without realizing it.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:19 No.3515362
    >>3515341
    No. He would start digging. Through WARP MAGICKS he would come up right when and where Cain needed him lightyears away.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:22 No.3515376
    >>3515361
    I'm pretty sure jerking off is fine in the Imperial Guard. At least there's no rule against it.

    >>3515362
    Jurgen COULD simply walk into the Warp. Then he'd pop out where Cain needed him. When Cain goes "WTF HOW DID YOU DO THAT!?" he'd be all "do what?"
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:24 No.3515389
    >>3515362
    This was the end, I thought, staring down a Daemon in a cellar. I always thought (or hoped, rather) that I'd have died of old age quietly off in some obscure corner of the Imperium.
    It was then that the thing recoiled in terror and I noticed at my feet the floor pushing itself upward as though something were underneath. The little mound got bigger and finally broke, and much to my surprise I found the ugly, psoriasis-marred face of my faithful aide who I'd retired no fewer than ten years prior halfway across the sector.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:28 No.3515411
    >>3515389
    You forgot balding.
    >> Chaotic Cleric 01/25/09(Sun)12:29 No.3515413
    >>3515208
    They're arguably the best way to get into WH40K. Arguably, because they're not as grimndark as the rest of the books/fluff. However the first 3 books (available as a collected edition, Ciaphas Cain: Hero Of The Imperium) introduce you to the Imperial Guard and you get a good look at Orks, Tau, Necrons, and Tyranids and (whatevers in the 3rd book). I'm just about finished with the 2nd book in the collection thus far, and it's been a real kick.

    Also, no more Jurgen Chronicles, I've gotta leave for work soon. And I won't be back until Tuesday afternoon, if then. If I decide to write any more, I'll post it tho.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:32 No.3515430
    >>3515413
    Someone get them on 1d4Chan STAT!
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:37 No.3515443
    >>3515413
    Third book is chaos cultists with a few Khornate CSM and one daemon.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:40 No.3515463
         File :1232905244.jpg-(28 KB, 345x512, Ciphas Cain mini.jpg)
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    Cain needs ingame 40k stats, screw Yarrick and Gaunt.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:42 No.3515474
    >>3515463
    2+ invincible plot armour save
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:42 No.3515476
    everytime i imagine jurgen talk, its with the voice of the warcraft 2 peasant.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:43 No.3515479
    >>3515463
    He was statted in an issue of White Dwarf, along with Jurgen, if I remember right.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:44 No.3515483
         File :1232905448.jpg-(2 KB, 64x64, Caiphas Cain.jpg)
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    "Commissar, it looks like this man was killed in a ritual of Chaos."

    "Sounds like this mission... "
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:45 No.3515489
         File :1232905515.jpg-(2 KB, 64x64, Dat Cain.jpg)
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    >>3515483
    is about to get Warped"

    YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:47 No.3515504
    >>3515430
    >>3515489

    Awesome.

    >>3515483

    http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Jurgen_Chronicles.

    There.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:53 No.3515551
    >>3515247
    Girl hitting on Jurgen?

    Didn't Cain once remark the only person he ever saw flirting with Jurgen was an Ogryn, and that she was drunk at the time?
    >> Sergeant Brutus Maximus 01/25/09(Sun)12:55 No.3515559
         File :1232906108.jpg-(121 KB, 468x349, Wtf.jpg)
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    >>3515479

    For me it's with Balrdrick from Blackadder's voice.

    Fuck I even imagine Cain being Played by Rowan Atkinson.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:57 No.3515573
    >>3515551
    Everyone is someone's fetish.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:58 No.3515577
         File :1232906318.jpg-(22 KB, 396x222, blackadder4c_396x222.jpg)
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    >>3515559
    Better picture.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)12:59 No.3515581
    Cain = Blackadder
    Jurgen = Baldrick
    ? = Lord Flashheart
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:00 No.3515585
    i love how the cain books contain little eastereggs in some of the names of the characters

    for example the sisters of gavaronne...guns of navaronne, nuns of gavaronne

    Eyor Dedonki... Eeyore the donkey

    Arbitrator Foreboding... Judge dredd

    Florn cakes... corn flakes

    A specialist on orks named Migo Yuggoth

    Rytepat... Write patterson airforce base

    Pontious the shuttle pilot... Pontius Pilot

    ice planet Nusquam Fundamentibus... ice planet "ass frozen off"

    Governor Trevellyan, Alec Trevellyan from goldeneye, both seemingly die and comes back as a bad guy

    Nauga Hunters. Nauga being a type of animal. Guess what type of leather they make.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:01 No.3515590
    >>3515489
    >>3515483

    Wow. I loled good.

    Real good.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:02 No.3515598
    >>3515585
    It one he makes reference to a game called "Grasshopper" that is played only on one backwards planet, and that no one really knows what the rules are, but the games can go on for weeks and are often canceled because of rain.

    he's referencing the british sport of Cricket.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:03 No.3515604
    So, whats the name of the book series? Been looking for some new books to read.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:03 No.3515606
    >>3515585
    >Pontius Pilot
    and we will circumnavigate the world together, Jesus!
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:03 No.3515608
    Does anyone have an excerpt of the writing in the books? I want to know if they'd be worth putting in a few dollars for.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:04 No.3515609
    >>3515598
    No love for the imperial rations "Soylens Viridians"?
    Or the other iceworld, Simae Orichalcae?
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:06 No.3515620
    >>3515609
    oh yeah, lol, soylent green and brass monkey
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:07 No.3515625
    see >>3514899, download, read, decide
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:11 No.3515634
    i think in one of the first books when they introduced amberley for the first time, there was a jab at inquisitors that pretended to be rogue traders, in that they were terribly uncreative i.e. the main character in inquisition war. And that ordo malleus inquisitors tended to be mentally unstable, again, main character from inquisition war.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:12 No.3515637
    >>3515476
    You too, huh?
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:15 No.3515646
    >>3514820

    nothing special for a mary sue
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:15 No.3515647
    In Book three someone directly quotes Commissar Ibram Gaunt and Cain remarks that "People only talk like that in poorly written combat novels."
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:16 No.3515657
    >>3515647
    I wonder what would happen if Cain and Gaunt ever met.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:18 No.3515671
    >>3515657
    Throw in Schaeffer and you have got yourself a party.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:18 No.3515675
    >>3515657
    Gaunt would be a dick. Cain would be a dick. Cain would go to buy some booze and sex a hooker. Gaunt will furiously masturbate to his medals.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:18 No.3515676
    >>3515657
    Who knows, but gaunt lived 200+ years before Cain.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:19 No.3515681
    >>3515647

    I also recall the line "biggest bloodbath since the Sabbat Worlds Crusade".

    And there's a character in Mitchell's 'Scourge the Heretic' named Danuld Drake.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:22 No.3515695
    >>3515681
    lol donald duck.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:23 No.3515701
    >>3515681

    While we're on the topic of Scourge the Heretic, the book incidentally revolves around the activities of one Inquisitor Carolus and his spy network, referred to as the "Angelae".
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:25 No.3515708
    >>3515634
    She said that there is a disproportional amount of Inquisitors who use that as cover.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:27 No.3515720
    >>3515701
    charlies angels, lol
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:29 No.3515736
    >>3515701
    HAHA.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:33 No.3515754
    >>3515695
    >>3515720
    WE GET IT OK, YOU'RE JUST RUINING IT BY EXPLAINING IT
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:38 No.3515794
    >>3515754
    jeez, calm down baby, its just rock n roll
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:39 No.3515807
    >>3515754
    NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. THERE WAS A TV SHOW ABOUT A MAN NAME CHARLIE AND HIS THREE HOT FEMALE SPIES THAT HE CALLED HIS ANGELS. THE TV SHOW WAS CALLED CHARLIE'S ANGELS AND IT WAS ON IN THE 1970'S. THEY MADE A COUPLE MOVIES ABOUT IT TOO. ANYWAYS, INQUISTOR CARLOUS COULD BE SEEN AS "CHARLIE" AND THE ANGELAE ARE CLEARLY HIS ANGELS. SO IT REFERENCES CHARLIE'S ANGELS. AND SINCE THE SHOW IS SOMETHING MANY PEOPLE REMEMBER FONDLY, THE NOSTALGIA MAKES THE REFERENCE FUNNY.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)13:43 No.3515832
    >>3515807
    I'm still not quite getting that, could you maybe clarify it a little more?
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)14:12 No.3516009
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    This is the image of Jurgen/Baldrick in my head.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)14:14 No.3516027
    I guess I see Jurgen as a Billy Bob Thorton's Slingblade character, but slightly less dumb.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)14:15 No.3516041
    >>3516009
    In the foreword to "For the Emperor" Mitchell lists Blackadder as one of his influences, so Baldrick was probably in his head too.
    >> Agouri !!Q+SCob6iFc6 01/25/09(Sun)14:17 No.3516053
         File :1232911035.jpg-(16 KB, 479x362, saucetg.jpg)
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    GUYS
    GUYS I LOVE YOU
    ALL OF YOU

    I STARTED A THREAD TO EXPRESS HOW AWSOME CIAPHAS IS AND TO ASK A FEW QUESTIONS

    RIGHT NOW YOUVE MADE THE THREAD THE ENBOIDMENT OF AWSOME

    I FUCKING LOVE YOU /tg/

    (So, i take it that cain never mentions Jurgen dying eh... though yeah i can see he's repeating the "I miss him a lot" thingie quite often. But what about his odour? What about him in general? Is he special? Isn't he another ordinary Guardsman?)
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)14:24 No.3516114
    >Isn't he another ordinary Guardsman?

    No, for fuck's sake.

    He's a psychic blank, an attribute which has saved Cain at least 100 times by nullifying warp sorcery, making psykers lose their powers, making daemons vulnerable to conventional weapons, making Necron Pariahs unable to detect them, and by deterring annoying visitors to Cain's office.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)14:32 No.3516192
    >>3516114
    Blanks are overused in non-SM novels, it's like every protagonist has to have one to save his ass even though they're supposed to be ultra rare
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)14:44 No.3516296
    >>3516192
    If I have my novels right I have seen blanks only pop up in Cain.

    I admit ti never having read Eisenhorn, or the HH novel, apart from one abortet attempt (I kept raging that someone should go and shoot Horus the little bitch and could they stop admiring these runes and/or their manly biceps ?).

    Not letting that stop me: These novels are about the greatest heroes. It makes sense that their "But goddamnit fluff says they ultrarare" population of characters is higher than common sense indicates.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)14:45 No.3516306
    >>3516192
    I like to think that Jurgen just smells so bad that it has the same effect as a blank.
    >> Unholy Clown Ninja Maid Anonymous, tl;dr Xom's Champion !!0aKrfPDoCW4 01/25/09(Sun)14:48 No.3516322
    >>3516306
    Jurgen smells so bad that even Nurgle holds his nose.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)14:50 No.3516337
    >>3516296

    There's been one major character in the Eisenhorn books that was a blank, and he apparently kept basically a ranch of the fuckers that he had gathered up and trained for use in his cells.

    There's one in Ravenor as well.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)14:51 No.3516348
    Speaking of Space Marines, what do THEY think of "Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium"?
    >> Agouri !!Q+SCob6iFc6 01/25/09(Sun)14:53 No.3516357
         File :1232913186.jpg-(557 KB, 968x987, MANLY.jpg)
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    http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/WEBSITE/WWW/WEBPAGES/showbook.php?id=1844164667

    For the gentlemen that want to buy it. It's also on amazon.com/co.uk/whatever

    Contains the first 3 books, there's another 6 out.


    One last question:

    DOES THE WRITTING HAVE TO BE SO COMPLEX? DO COMISSARS RECEIVE SUCH A HIGH QUALITY EDUCATION THAT MAKES THEM ELITIST FAGGOTS?
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)14:54 No.3516368
    >>3516348

    As I recall he's in good standing with a chapter as he ended up accompanying them on some important mission we haven't had the details of yet.

    Don't remember what chapter it was and I don't have my book on me.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)14:56 No.3516379
    >>3516368
    Black Templars.
    >> Lil piece o´fluff 01/25/09(Sun)15:02 No.3516433
    >>3516379
    >Black Templars.

    "THEY´RE SHOOTING AT US, BROTHERS! CHAAAAARGE FOR THE EMPEROOOOOOR!"

    I looked behind me, and saw the daemons pursuing us. I suppose the Astartes had not noticed those, because they would probably have turned around. I certainly wasn´t going to tell them, so I followed them right into the heretics´ fire, trusting the power-armoured hulks in front of me to soak up most of the fire as I ran away from the Warp spawns.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)15:03 No.3516439
    Ciaphas Cain is a heroic guy with a tendency to doubt himself and his motives after the fact.

    His memoirs are a huge cloud of self-obfuscation.

    He calls himself a master swordsman which in Cain-speak means he is actually a GODLY SWORDSMAN. Combine that with a null manservant and you got a guy who can fuck Tyranids in CC.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)15:03 No.3516445
    >>3516357

    The writing is based on Cain's memoirs, but is ghost-written by an Inquisitor who has clearly gotten hot dickings from him many times. The question remains, though; since the memoirs are apparently only authorized for distribution among members of the Inquisition, why bother punching them up?
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)15:07 No.3516476
    >>3516357
    >DOES THE WRITTING HAVE TO BE SO COMPLEX? DO COMISSARS RECEIVE SUCH A HIGH QUALITY EDUCATION THAT MAKES THEM ELITIST FAGGOTS?

    Yes they do, actually. And by "Elitist fags" I assume you mean "Can read and write above a 5th grade level" hey all grew up in the Schola Progenium, so all they had to do all day was study and praise the emperor.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)15:08 No.3516490
    >>3516476
    And learn to shoot a lasgun.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)15:09 No.3516496
    >>3516445
    In subsequent books, Amberly mentions in the foreword how the memoirs are receiving quite a bit of interest from the Inquisitorial community as an entertaining read.

    Also she didn't ghost-write it, merely assembled and heavily edited it as Cain tended to write in a non-linear fashion. This is also probably why nothing explicit is ever revealed about Cain and Amberly's vague relationship.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)15:09 No.3516497
    >>3516445
    I get the impression that there are two journals. A public one ghostwritten by some scribe. Then there is the we read, the collection of Cains private journals that Inquisitor Amberlyn Vail is collecting and commenting on.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)15:10 No.3516504
    >>3516476
    And be raped by Canoneses.
    >> Agouri !!Q+SCob6iFc6 01/25/09(Sun)15:10 No.3516509
    >>3516476

    But, it is clear that he wanst the brightest student in his schola. And Mitchel's writting is far too complex (a phrase the size of a paragraph), many times being so without need.

    But, oh well, we're talking about a fiction book here.
    >> Agouri !!Q+SCob6iFc6 01/25/09(Sun)15:13 No.3516530
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    Oh, i see the thread has already been archived

    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3514820/

    I sure hope our dear writefag comes back and adds to the chronicles
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)15:19 No.3516578
    >>3516439
    Psst. Tyranids block out the warp. Nulls practically do the same thing in a little bubble around them constantly.

    They'd actually get along pretty well, if Tyranids weren't so focused on OM NOM NOM.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)15:21 No.3516595
    >>3516578
    Not really. Not according to Ciaphas Cain novels at least. Jurgen fucks up their hivemind whenever he's around.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)15:45 No.3516785
    >>3516595

    Forgot about that one in my list:

    - Making daemons vulnerable to conventional weapons
    - Disrupting warp sorcery
    - Making psykers have a seizure if they get too close
    - Disrupting the hive mind
    - Making them undetectable by Necron Pariahs
    - Deterring unwanted visitors to Cain's office

    Add to that the fact that Jurgen is -always- lugging a melta around, and you wonder how Cain survived his later campaigns without him.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)16:12 No.3517017
    Cain = Bruce Campbell
    Jurgen = Balrdrick

    I can totally See Bruce Campbell giving the Heroic Speeches/poses and then telling Jurgen to get him the Frak Back to base.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)16:14 No.3517028
    >>3517017
    >Cain = Blackadder
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)16:14 No.3517035
    >>3516348
    from 5th book:

    >Dangerous as they were, they were barely worth considering compared to the real threat. I’d seen purestrains shredding Terminator armour aboard the Spawn of Damnation,[1] and I knew that if they got within arms-length of us we were all dead.

    >[1. A space hulk Cain boarded with the Reclaimers Astartes Chapter, while serving as the Imperial Guard liaison officer to them during the Viridia campaign.]

    And

    >Smaller than the suits worn by one of the Astartes, but power armour nevertheless, and even at this distance it had clearly been crafted by a master artificer whose skill would certainly have impressed Tobamorie.[1]

    >[1. The armourer of the Reclaimers, who seem to have considered Cain as close to a friend as was possible for anyone outside his Chapter.]
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)16:15 No.3517037
    >>3516785
    None of that is really what psychic nulls do, but hey. It's for the story.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)16:16 No.3517052
    So, these books are basically Song of the Sorcelator WH40k style?
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)16:18 No.3517064
    Next to Fabius Bile, Ciaphas Cane is the best troll in all the universe. Unless you're chaos, in which case he's third next to Bile AND The Emperor
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)16:18 No.3517065
    >>3517037
    Stuff happening in official canon makes it far more correct than some Anon on /tg/ going "Nah"

    Besides, information on nulls is very rare even in official material. Your speculative bullshit is invalid.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)16:19 No.3517080
    >>3515483
    >>3515489
    nice
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)16:23 No.3517112
         File :1232918606.jpg-(51 KB, 250x187, 1231048703541s.jpg)
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    >>3517052
    WHERE?
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)16:25 No.3517129
    >>3517112
    http://tsots.pbwiki.com/
    I'm taking this to the limit.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)16:26 No.3517141
    >>3516578

    Tyranids have a very strong warp signature, at least synapse creatures. In fact, the whole synapse net is warp-based, and Zoanthropes and the like use warp-fueled powers.
    Tyranids don't block out the warp, their mere presence influences it so strongly that sending messages via Astropath becomes impossible. This results in other Astropaths in different pars of the Imperium no longer being able to send/receive messages to and from Tyranid-attacked planets, i.e. "black holes" in the Imperial communication lines.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)16:29 No.3517177
    >>3517141
    Which is why Shadow in the Warp prevents Perils, right?

    >>3517065
    Black Library is only as canon as you have reason to think so (considering all of the authors aren't exactly 40k aficionados in any shape or form), and I guess if it is, then it all is.

    It'd be much better for the setting to go "none" rather than "all" in this instance.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)16:33 No.3517212
    >>3517177
    It's well known that Black Library is a little loose when it comes to canon.

    However its still far more credible than a /tg/ chucklefuck making statements with no backup that nobody else agrees with.

    pip pip cheerio
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)16:33 No.3517214
    >>3517177

    If Tyranids blocked out the warp, they (or anyone fighting them) wouldn't be able to use psychic powers. They just have a very strong and very strange warp signature, that alters the way the warp works.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)16:37 No.3517250
    >>3516578
    >>3517177
    >>3517212
    >>3517214
    'nids don't so much block out the warp as oversaturate it.

    Imagine a phone switchboard, and suddenly EVERY FUCKING LINE is busy. And if you (a psyker) try to dial in a psychic power they all start yelling at you in unison.
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)16:45 No.3517321
    >>3517250
    and then you go totally insane
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)17:01 No.3517457
    >>3517250
    This is 4chan, but no-one's thought to use the metaphor of the DDoS?
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)17:08 No.3517507
    >>3517457

    I always thought of the Hive Mind as a sort of jamming. Synapse creatures flooding all frequencies with encrypted commands that only Tyranids can understand, and to everyone else just sounds like OM NOM NOM NOM
    >> Anonymous 01/25/09(Sun)17:12 No.3517555
    >>3517507
    They don't send encrypted commands, any more than you send an encrypted command to your hand to punch someone.



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