>>3644336

Old thread.

>>3646171

We dedicate this temple to the living embodiment of Xom's will, let his glory spread throughout the world (literally).

Learn to manipulate the Arm of Xom/Satan. Shoot off a quick prayer to Xom to ask if this really was his doing.

AKIRA reference?
keep an eye for Kaneda. We can't let him shoot you with the railgun.

Try not to engulf Garrelf and squash him like a bug.

Tell GARELF to throw the BEAR DRUID into your SATAN ARM

CONSUME ALL ENEMIES

>>3646232
This.

>>3646171

As I stated in the previous thread, lop off your arm and get out of there, as your DEVIL ARM has obviously decided to pull an Akira (minus the psychic nonsense) and consume everything near it.

RUBYQUEST reference?

>>3646232
>>3646242
A well placed slam sends the bear careening into the Arm of Xom/Satan. It immediately gets to work consuming the poor priest.

>>3646266

Now that the opposition is destroyed, creepily ask Garrelf if he would like to be inside you too.

>>3646266

Retrieve IRON AXE from the head of FEMALE ELF PRIEST

THEN FEED HER TO THE ARM

>>3646266

Pump your normal arm in triumph, and call forth for the followers of Xom to witness you smiting down one of the lesser religions with his almighty power.

>>3646266

At least Garrelf is a lot more manly now.

>>3646286
Garrelf apologizes, then teleports out.

[Sorry for the wait; animated .gifs take forever, especially one of this scale. I hope it looks alright, I don't actually have any way to preview how these look.]

>>3646334

Retrieve IRON AXE from ELF PRIEST

JUST IN CASE WE HAVE TO CHOP OFF HALF OF THE SATAN/XOM ARM TO ESCAPE (the remaining half will regen, right?)

>>3646334
Some slight fixes.

>>3646346

I agree, any interference from the arm would be overwhelmed by it getting in the way of us getting alcohol

So this game is a copy from a copy.....

>>3646376
gnome is a clone!?

>>3646346
>>3646361

You cut into the arm!

...The arm seems to disapprove. You look like you'll need to completely remove it from the shoulder to get rid of it.

>>3646383
>You look like you'll need to completely remove it from the shoulder to get rid of it.

Where's the problem in this?

>>3646334
>>3646353

ARM OF XOM/SATAN is getting problematic, not to mention freaky. If it keeps growing and growing like that and we're stuck to it, we'll never be able to drink again! Or kill things with an axe, 'cause we're stuck here.

Might be time to chop our arm off with the pickaxe and run for it.

>>3646361

If getting the axe fails, just use your entire body to rip yourself off your NIGHTMARE FUEL/COSMIC HORROR/XOM/AKIRA/DEVIL ARM. Seriously, unless you can will the bloody thing back to "normal", it'll only get in the way of your drinking. AND DAMMIT, YOU'RE STILL FUCKING SOBER!

>>3646391

Well, we'll be short an arm again, but I guess it beats being consumed. Maybe at least we will have set off some sort of hideous creature that will devour the whole city.

Rip your arm off with your teeth! Make sure not to get your beard in it.

>>3646383
>>3646391

Yeah! Keep choppin', higher up on the shoulder!

Yell at the arm for being bad. Tell it to stop that right now, and go to bed. Also, go get your axe back.

You know what this thing looks like? Like a big, fleshy forest.

SECRET DWARVEN ART: DEFORESTATION

>>3646376
>>3646379

>>3646383
Chop off arm, then offer to save nearest priest from arm-based consumption in exchange for a new arm.

>>3646414
You DEFOREST the left half of your body, and leave post haste.

Cut it off and hope that it's Satan regenerating.

Then ask the bastar-

OH JESUS CHRIST WE FORGOT TO PAY UP!

RUN FROM YOUR OWN ARM, RUN NOW.

>>3646445
no worries, death clears most deals with satan.

>>3646443

Time to find booze! Beardbeard is way too sober to deal with this shit.

Alternatively, find something to set the fairy temple and the GIANT AKIRA DEMON FLESH ARM FOREST on fire, just in case. Booze is typically flammable, tho'

ALE IS THE ORDER OF THE DAY

THE BEARD BE THIRSTAH

>>3646465

Agreed, booze is needed. Now. In fact, this might all be a soberity-induced hallucination.

>>3646465
>>3646487
Man this is just going to KILL the local property values.

Beardbeard decides to go get a drink. Garrelf agrees with this plan, but reminds beardbeard that we are still broke, at 2 Gold.

>>3646494
Wait and see what happens to the devil arm

>>3646494

No what doesn't cost money? A Shadri-whatever and a dwarf killing a bartender.

>>3646494
Surely the priests had money! Take the donations and stuff!

>>3646494
Whore Garelf out for money. He's half-elf, he'll even enjoy it!

>>3646494
Tell the priests at the temple of xom that their god has blassed you with SHOGGOTHARM and you'll sic it on them next unless they furnish you with gold.

>>3646494

Travel to the temple of XOM. Ask if the destruction of the fag temple in this fashion fulfills a hidden quest, in addition to weeding out some of the competition.

WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET DRINKING MONEY, OR A NEW/NORMAL ARM FOR THIS.

>>3646523

Just remember Drinks>New Arm

>>3646523
>This.

>>3646523

Seconded. We destroyed a temple with a SATAN'S SHOGGOTH ARM, that seems pretty XOM-y.

>>3646523

This.

>>3646523
Beardbeard informs the local Priestess of Xom about the brand new temple he's opened up for her! He asks if Xom has any favors to grant for such a large boon.

She says she would be glad to grant you another spell for your true devotion to Kay-oss. Name your price!

>>3646558

Arm that generates ale

(This is the first time I've actually been awake enough at UNGODLY IN THE MORNING to play Dorf Quest. I gotta say, I'm sort of suprised and amused at the way we all gestalt around certain ideas. Then again, Dorf Quest has been around long enough that it's sort of developed it's own batshit crazy internal logic and tropes and story style.)

>>3646558
Price? I FUCKING LEVELED A TEMPLE. NEW ARM PLEASE.

makes me want to play baldur's gate :(


Warforged Arm of the Whale plz

>>3646575
FUCK NO

OUR NEW ARM NEEDS TO DO SOMETHING COOL AS SHIT.

>>3646571
This here is the fundamental difference between Ruby Quest and Dorf Quest. In the former, people are always of different minds, some wanting to do one thing, others wanting to do someone else, someone always saying we should either HUG TOM or USE THIRD EYE.

In Dorf Quest, everyone always wants to do the same crazy shit.

And both are awesome.

>>3646575

Nah. We can get a new arm anytime. CHAOS BEER!

>>3646558

Ask her to regenerate your NORMAL arm, and once that's done, ask if there's any quests to be done for some money or booze. Booze is preferable, but having both would be nice.

BEER MUG THAT AUTOMATICALLY REFILLS WITH BEER

EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP. AXE ARM. MARAUDER STYLE.

>>3646605
this oh god this

>>3646590
>others want to do someone else

I C WUT YOU DID THAR.

>>3646569
>>3646586
She apologizes, she isn't that talented yet.


>>3646587
>>3646591
>>3646592
BUT! She is grateful enough to grant Arm + Beer, in two separate castings. THAT much is within her ability!

>>3646558
Flagon of endless booze

If possible, an arm which increases in power based on our level of drunkenness would be ideal.

DRINK BOOZE

RIP AND TEAR

>>3646627

Can it still be Kay-oss beer?

An ale-generating arm would not produce very good ale.

Instead, we should ask for an AXE ARM.

FUCK THE ARM

IT TAKES A LOT OF BLOOD.

MORE BLOOD MEANS MORE ALCOHOL NEEDED TO GET US DRUNK.

GET BOTTOMLESS MUG OF BEER.

>>3646628

DO IT FAGGOT

>>3646638
>a normal arm

wat

BEER DIESPENSING AXE ARM


WITH A BEARD

Punch her RIGHT IN THE FUCKING FACE FOR BEING INCOMPETENT.

She grants you a regular dorfen arm. For the first time since Part 1, you are completely uninjured! Having a Satanic arm morph wildly out of control counts as harmed for these purposes.

She also grants you an entire keg of Kay-Oss Beer. She says it grants potent power of Xom, and as such, should probably be used sparingly.

>>3646701
>sparingly
>beer

Yeah. Right. Chug it all.

CHUG IT LIKE A DWARF SHOULD

>Delishus alchohol *red eyes*

SHOTGUN THE KEG

>>3646701
Drink potion of mutation. All of it.

>>3646701
start with a paltry mouthful
its from Xom
it might taste odd.

WE HAVEN'T HAD A DRINK IN 3 MOTHERFUCKING WEEKS.

SPARINGLY MEANS "YOU'RE GOING TO SPARE HER LIFE BECAUSE SHE BROUGHT YOU AN ENTIRE KEG" NOT "YOU'RE TAKING ONE SIP AT A TIME"

>>3646701
BAH! Drink it the DORFY way!
ALL AT ONCE! Maybe offer her a mug... she might show her tits?

>>3646706
After about a pint, you feel the morphic effects of Xom take hold. Your hands grow webbing. Would you like to continue chugging?

>>3646747
YES

KEEP

GOING

UNTIL THE BARREL IS EMPTY

>>3646747
Soak your beard in it

this all is too predictable

>just as planned

>>3646747
Hug priestess.

>>3646747
OF FUCKING COURSE.

>>3646747

Never stop drinking, for booze is indeed the sweet nectar of life!

>>3646747
Garelf gets some.

>>3646455

This man is a liar!

Also, I think that should we meet Garrelf again, we blame everything on Satan, pretending to be oblivious to Xom's influence.

Also, how long til we have to pay him?

>>3646795
We don't, if he was under our employment we could call him at will.

>>3646795

Pretty sure Garrelf has been with us since we escaped, he was standing next to us when we were watching the WRITHING MASS consume the gay temple.

>>3646777

Hm, seconded. Mutations for everyone!

>>3646766
A little bit. But oh well, /tg/ will reap what they sow.

The beer of Kay-Oss has been chugged. A number of both positive and detrimental effects have been gained.

>>3646823

Carnivore, Herbivore, and Omnivore! Awesome deal!

>>3646823
That's not too bad at all. Gimp leg is unfortunate though

>>3646823

Okay, we can stop before we become a sealamprey with gills and elephant tusks.

>>3646823
>webbed feet
>metavore
>wings
>breathes fir(v?)e
>webbed hands

We're a half-hydra?

>>3646823
But are we drunk?

>>3646823
>>3646834

Lets see if we can cure this GIMPleg problem.

>>3646823
>carnivore
>herbivore
>omnivore

what?

And ask for more beer.

>>3646823
>dex +30

Does this mean we can sneak now? Garrelf can turn himself into a shroud of darkness, so he should be able to sneak with us pretty easily.

>>3646823
> -2 Str
> +3 Str
So does he have a +1 or +3 bonus?

I say, Garrelf sure is looking like one fine being of darkness... Is he single?

>>3646823
STATE OF DRUNKENESS?!

>>3646854

I think it averages out to a +1

>>3646849
+3 not 30

AWESOME.

Now.

DRINK MORE BEER TO BECOME SEALAMPREYCARPAPHANTDWARF.

>>3646845
I think the effects were in order, so he went from meat eater to plant eater and back to omnivore as normal.

That, or now he can now eat leaves and raw meat in addition to regular stuff.

Fly around the city, lightning things on fire. Pretend to be a dragon. Make dragon noises.

>>3646823
First things first;

We need an eyepatch.

DRINK MORE BEER.

DO IT FAGGOT.

>>3646872
Trogdorf?

>>3646823
>Immune to poison

So how does this relate to becoming drunk? Hopefully not at all, but...

NO.

DO NOT DRINK ANY MORE.

CARPAPHANTLAMPREYDORF IS NOT GOOD.

Now that we are immune to poison we can have poison drinking contests with people!

>>3646873

Definitely.

>>3646880

Oh WHY.

WHHHHHYYYYYYY

CURSE YOU XOOOOOOOOOM!

Don't drink anymore.

Fill eyehole with beer
More effective delivery system

>>3646873

I agree with the eyepatch, though it must be properly dorfy, maybe we can make one out of elf skin

Don't drink the KAY-OS BEER.

What are you, retarded?

>>3646904

Is opting for no eyepatch and just shoving some kind of gem into the socket Dorfy?

EYEPATCH! BECOME A BOOZE PIRATE!

>>3646837
That's a V. Breathes Five.

>>3646840
Very drunk.

>>3646849
Its +3 Dex, not +30.

>>3646841
Cultist says you should be happy with the blessings Xom has decided to give you. It is not her place to go against Xom.

>>3646854
+1 Bonus

>>3646881
He already chugged the entire barrel.

>>3646880
Well, I mean, theoretically Oxygen is toxic to a creature in an environment where Oxygen isn't present.

I think poison just means stuff that's harmful to us, so alcohol is OBVIOUSLY not counted.

>>3646914
Only if it menaces with spikes of... hell, I don't know, fish bone or something.

>>3646914

Yeah, that sounds not only awesomely dorfy, but dorfly awesome

>>3646918
We seem to have insulted her. I guess the hug is out of the question now?

>>3646918
How do you breathe five?

Ask what other errands you could do for Xom for more delicious alcohol

>>3646918
Tell her Xom has told you that you are to be the chosen one of Xom. Tell her that Xom told you that she must accompany and heal you and stuff for all eternity. SHe can't challenge Xom's wishes.

>>3646914
Extremely, but you have no gems.

You go back to the ex-Temple of Glittergold and make an eyepatch of Satanskin.

>>3646943

Seduce Priestess, use her to get more beer

These mutations may be harmful. Try puking to see if it'll get it out of your system.

Do so on Garrelf to transfer the effects to him.

Our party COULD use a priestess (and a rogue)

>>3646947
Convince Priestess to join us using any method possible. Possibly >>3646943 will work.

>>3646961
the rogue is gaining levels/awesomeness... so yea a priestess of xom would be awesome.

I WANNA SEE HER TAH-TAHS!

>>3646868
i think dorf quest just got rule 34ed.

>>3646947
>>3646918
But is Garrelf single?

>>3646977

There's nothing sexual about a contest of tongues.

>>3646943
>>3646961
>>3646972
>>3646973

She seems confused that anyone would want her to help with anything. She asks if you're sure you want her to join your party? She has a tendency to screw up everything.

>>3647002
That makes her even more awesome.

>>3647002
Oh, please. Like we DON'T screw up everything. She's the first NPC in Dwarf Quest to not screw something up when we talked to them; she's the best option.

>>3647002

Now we NEED her to join us

>>3647002

Yes, you're sure.

Narrative causality implies that if random kay-oss can mutate you, it has an equal chance of un-mutating you.

>>3647002
your resistance only makes my penis harder. oh wait, wrong quest.
Yes. We do want her in the party.

>>3647002
Tell her yes. She shall be a healer/seducer if we ever need to get stuff off people. Plus if we're bored since she has to obey Xom we can just lie to her and make her to stuff for our own amusement. Don't tell her that last part.

>>3647002

Answer this with an Uncle Sam, "I want YOU..."

>>3646984
If he wasn't single, I would assume he would be dragging around his deadweight Elfy girlfriend with him. Because Elves are equal-opportunistic faggots like that.

Recruit cultist to party!

>>3647002
She has tits. So far our party has been a total, albight awesome, sausage fest!

>>3647032

Please, Garrelf is more of a woman than she will ever be

Screwing up everything makes quest moar awesome.

>>3647002
Domains: Chaos and ..? Charm/Luck/Madness/Trickery?

>>3647054

Definitely Madness

>>3647054
she'll be the god damn, fuck up, batman of the party. of course.

>>3647054
Luck!

We didn't say it had to be GOOD luck.

>>3647007
>>3647011
>>3647014
>>3647017
>>3647021
>>3647022
>>3647023
>>3647024
>>3647025
>>3647032
Wow, I get it.

Beardbeard, Garrelf, and Cultist decide that their newly expanded, and significantly more powerful, party should strike a group pose in celebration!

Any scene with cultist is going to take longer, just a word of warning, since she actually has detail. Hell, Beardbeard too, with his new mutations. BUT THATS OKAY.

>>3647075
Detail can be sacrificed in times of need. Just butt her out of the picture or stick her into a pink blur, like you did with Garrelf in the fight scene.

>>3647075
Is it over?

If not, ask Cultist if she knows of anything Xom wishes them to do.

NEW QUEST: Trade mutations to someone else?

>>3647075
pause or give us an objective please.

>>3647075
>>3647088
Things can be made simpler too, we don't need to detail the webbed fingers all the time and stuff.

>>3647095
There are still 50 posts until autosage, and I am not yet tired. We can continue a while more, if someone has ideas. There will be a *pause* on screen when I am done.

GO TO THE LIBRARY

LOOK UP ANY LEGENDARY MAGICAL PEG LEGS

>>3647115
Clearly, the next course of action is to get Beardbeard a gem for his eye. Preferably an enchanted one. Perhaps Cultist-chan has an idea of where to get one?

>>3647115
ok, fine... look for bounties at the tavern

>>3647075
Hit the satan arm with your axe till you level up.

>>3647127

Yeah, lets get a gem of true-sight for our eye socket

>>3647115
What about failrogue?

AND I DEMAND SKELETON MONKEY COME BACK!

>>3647106
Meanwhile, at the other temple of Xom...

>>3647142
looks fine to me, let's get on that gem for eye socket.

>>3647142
The...dwarf one?


DWARF TOWN IS UNDER ATTACK? THE FUCK?

>>3647142

Looks like Xom's got everything under control there

Find a badass gem to put under our badass eyepatch.

>>3647126
>>3647127
Libraries are for pussies.

Beardbeard asks Cultist to go to the library and see if she can't find info on where to find magic gems and/or peg legs.

>>3647162
No, the ex-Glittergold temple. Sorry I wasn't clear.

>>3647142
Doesn't the town have heroes or something lying around to deal with that sort of thing? We have to deal with this eye socket, and also the gimp leg.

Any change we could upgrade these wings to something usable? Flying isn't particularly dorfy, but limping about will get old fast.

>>3647174

Oh god that made me d'awwww

Guys, I think Xom/Satan arm got out.

>>3647181
With flight we can preform ARIEL BOMBARDMENTS!
Meaning we can fall on shit really hard... with our axe. That's Dorfy!

>>3647202

S'all cool, once Cultist gets info we'll skip town

>>3647142
hey, they have to do SOMETHING with that ridiculous toll they charged...

>>3647209
And then the entire town will be a tribute to Xom!
Excellent!

>>3647206
>Ariel Bombardment
>Ariel
UNDA DA SEEEA.

>too hard to draw, bawwwww
Due to poor bloodflow, the wings shrivle and fall off, and in his drunken stupor, beardbeard picks away the webbing in his fingers

I'm still not tired, but this is actually a damn good place to stop. Next week on Dorf Quest, Aldwin will attempt an even bigger robbery, now that he has shown he can actually succeed sometimes - he is going to attempt to rob the Mountainholms.

When Beardbeard returns the session after that, Cultist will finish her search for info on peg legs and magic gem locations, opening up new ways to make our dorf even more ridiculous than he already is.

PAUSE SCREEN
BEARDBEARD DEMONARM, Dorfen Berserker
Current Quest(s): NONE

ALCOHOLISM: Very damn drunk
GOLD: 2

STATUS: Uninjured

MUTATIONS:
Gimp leg
Vestigial Wings
No Left Eye
Webbed Hands
Fire Breath
Poison Immunity
Scales +2
Faster +3
Stronger +1

INVENTORY:
Iron Axe
Pick Axe
1 Torch
Overworld Map
Hydra Armor
Satan's Eyepatch

Party:
Garelf Swiftrip, Faerie Fighter
Xom's Cultist, Orc Priestess

>>3647295
Psssh, no, I want to draw this crap. I was just giving fair warning it might take longer.

>>3647314
He doesn't have a demon arm anymore.

I wonder the chances of plowing the Cultist.

>>3647314
>DEMONARM
Needs to be updated, how about BEARDBEARD TROGDORF

>>3647333
Then his last name should be "Beerded"

>>3647348
I like this last name.

Current PCs:

Beardbeard Beerded, Dorfen Berserker
Garelf Swiftrip, Faerie Fighter
Xom's Cultist, Orc Priestess of Xom
Aldwin Cardsharp, Human Rogue of Nemelex
Lily, Human Apprentice Neckbeard

>>3647378
So you do it weekly?

I'll be here then.

Oh, also. If scheduling permits, I may start doing 2 Dorf Quests a week, assuming College doesn't kick me too hard. Should this be the case, I'll be doing Thursdays at 10 pm Central as well as Saturdays at 10 pm Central.

So, potentially doing a thread Thursday. Keep your eyes peeled. Also, its worth mentioning this isn't a joke based on Thursday Quest, its because my first class on Friday doesn't start until 1 pm.

So... which one of our adventurers has died more, Dorf or Garelf?

Now some pics just for fun.

>>3647452
I fucking love you, gnome. Do you mind if I make out with you?

>>3647452
SATAN! You BASTARD! I thought we were friends!

>>3647492
Depends if you're a good kisser.

>>3647452

I still have a few more pics I want to draw, but you'll need to ride with me through autosage to see 'em.

>>3647568
Furious George arises!

>>3647568
SELL GARBAGE FOR BANANAS!
>>3647606
That second skull is looking... angry? OH SHIT!
Furious George is gunna Raise it!

>>3647568
SIR! I BELIEVE WE ARE AT THE AUTOSAGE, SIR!
>>3647647
'oos that?

>>3647654
Villain from last week's Dorf Quest. Its missing the tags.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3577563/

>>3647665
FUCK, I missed one?

>>3647699
Apparently so. You missed Aldwin not being a total failure.

>>3647665
I get the feeling that's happening because certain pricks just know these are going to get archived so they archive them first without tags.

>>3647726
Maybe. Either way I'm just going to archive the threads with the tags as they start, to stop this in the future.

>>3647778
Some anons would call you pretentious on top of the fact that you're a tripfag for such an action.

However, many other anons would disagree because you've proven your value and worth.

Last pic for tonight. G'night, all.

>>3647804
I only use my trip for these threads though. Otherwise, anonymous always.

Indeed. Gnome does not display the cold cynicism of a typical anon.

Nor does he display the cold, steeled resolve and troll-deflection of Weaver.

>>3647710
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!
Hey... will we ever get Backstory on our characters, a TRUE backstory? We know NOTHING of Lily, don't know about BEARDBEARD before the first quest, Cultist is new and Aldwin we know very little.
Garelf though, we knwo about him.

>>3647852
I was going to post backstory on Lily in the Railroadin' Movie Session, but as anyone who has read it has seen, I got pissed off and bored with the railroadin', and never got to her backstory.

Beardbeard's basic backstory was given in the first thread - his family is poor, and he's trying to make a name for it. To continue on, his family is so poor they lack a clan name - which is why Beardbeard's last name keeps changing. He hopes to be able to make a legacy for his family.

Lily's back story will come up later.

Cultist... was meant to be a throwaway character. I don't have anything on her, she was a spur of the moment silly idea.