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    File :1234414603.png-(122 KB, 854x735, chryssalidlove.png)
    122 KB Anonymous 02/11/09(Wed)23:56 No.3687244  
    Let me take a moment to tell you about Sergeant Marc Lecointe.

    First of all, Marc is a man. He is more of a man than you or I will ever be.

    Armed with a mere laser rifle and a pair of electro flares, he boldly made the first step off the skyranger to meet the alien foe terrorizing London in the middle of the goddamn night.

    First thing that happens as soon as he steps off the ramp? Some bitch snakeman, no doubt terrified at the sight of the can of whoopass it had opened, opened fire from the quite unmanly safety of a dark alley nearby.

    Got Marc right in the face.

    Let me tell you something. Marc survived that shot. And he was not happy about it.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)00:04 No.3687319
         File :1234415059.jpg-(115 KB, 1110x363, chryssalidraep.jpg)
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    Now, we all know what happens to operatives who take a healthy dose of plasma to the face.

    First, they usually die. Second, in the unlikely event that they aren't jettisoned from the mortal coil, most of their capabilities plummet. Aiming and firing, after all, is unreasonably difficult when you have a hole in your arm. Or your face.

    Not so in the case of Marc Lecointe.

    I will admit, I did not have faith in Marc. He had 17 health left, and was fatally wounded. He was a dead man with a gun in his hands, for all I cared.

    After gunning down his cowardly assailant, he took point for a division of operatives, who were intended to use him as a no-risk scout to spot for them. Snakemen in a nighttime terror mission, after all, means chryssalids are close by. It's only right to minimize risks, whatever moral concerns are raised by the method.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)00:09 No.3687359
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)00:12 No.3687381
         File :1234415571.jpg-(13 KB, 397x487, chryssalidtree.jpg)
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    Marc proceeded to bring down chryssalids after rounding corners with no support, and sniped several snakemen that had been spotted by the other division of agents, clear across the other side of the map.

    Such was his bitter rampage of spite that, by the end of the mission, Sergeant Marc Lecointe had been single handedly responsible for murdering half a dozen chryssalids and four snakemen. His aim was impeccable. His thirst for vengeance was unquenchable.

    Marc returned safely from the mission with 4 health remaining. He will spend the next 48 days in the Infirmary of X-Com's primary command center in North Africa.

    Marc Lecointe did not receive any promotions following the now infamous midnight defense of London.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)00:20 No.3687451
    Only jerks who sit around at the base all day slacking off get promoted.

    It's not fair man!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)00:25 No.3687479
    I had a similar (although not quite as GAR) sergeant named Evelyn. She has been wounded to the point of death five times, and currently has over 12 missions flown. I've actually forgotten how many kills she's gotten, but seeing as she now has a flying suit and she kills Chryssalids in a single shot, I'm willing to bet it's quite a few.
    She almost comes close to the legendary Tom Thompson, who alas is now gunning down angels in heaven. RIP Tom, your ridiculous talent with the lowly assault rifle will not be forgotten.
    >> That Damn Mouse 02/12/09(Thu)02:09 No.3688174
    Bump for true pixel heroism.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)02:16 No.3688220
    Don't remind me about this game, goddamn. I tried to play it yesterday and everything was fine until I got to a UFO with assholes with Mind Control. The entire team died because of that one guy who can magically target people from inside the UFO. I really, really, really fucking hate the broken mind control mechanics. It ruins the entire game.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)02:25 No.3688254
    Two recruits with the same last name. Both of them had asian names, both of them started with exceptional stats.

    One mission, a nightime sectiod terror mission, one of them died to a Cyberdisc.

    The other went berserk for three turns, killing four out of five of the remaining sectoids, the cybersik who had killed his brother (surviving the explosion, and died when the last sectoid got a lucky shot at him from upstairs.

    My rocket HWP ended the mission.

    It was a bug, but he got promoted post mortem.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)02:32 No.3688293
    >Marc Lecointe did not receive any promotions following the now infamous midnight defense of London.

    Depends on the amount of squaddies you have. Recruit more people and give them some command experience, and Marc will have the promotion he deserves.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)02:35 No.3688315
    I thought it was kinda random.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)02:37 No.3688324
    To be fair, Marc probably gets laid, like, all the fucking time.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)02:45 No.3688353
    All the chick scientists want his cock. So many fucking artifacts.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)02:46 No.3688360
    >My dudes got MC'ed, BAW

    Grow a pair of balls and get back out there!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)02:57 No.3688410
    You thought wrong.

    There is a certain point in the game for me, after all the necessary tech - Flying Suits, Blaster Launchers, Avenger - but before Ethereals and Psychic Powers (unless I've got lucky with a Sectoid Leader), when I recruit myself a huge lot of rookies, send them to the fray for a bit of combat experience, receive Commander and couple Colonels, and kick the new guys out.

    I once had an Avenger full of soldiers, with no one's rank less than Captain.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:01 No.3688434
    Marc Lecointe taught me how to love a woman and scold a child.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:06 No.3688463
    Marc Lecointe once showed me a video tape of him making love to my wife.

    It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:08 No.3688473
    how do you pronounce "Lecointe"?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:08 No.3688475
    He rides in an Avenger covered in Snakeman skulls!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:10 No.3688480
    He'll eat a Chryssalid if you dare him!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:13 No.3688492
    Marc Lecointe once ripped a Snakeman's throat out with his bared teeth, then went back to reading his morning newspaper without spilling his coffee.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:14 No.3688496
    What the fuck. Okay, that's it - I cave. X-Com, is it? I'll be playing it within the hour!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:16 No.3688511
    It was the sight of Lacointe's naked body that drove all the Ethereals insane.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:16 No.3688512
    In my experience with X-Com, women with the first name Helga always seem pretty solid.

    And every single person with the last name Thompson is a fucking god
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:20 No.3688526
    What effect do ranks have on combat efficiency? Are they just decoration?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:21 No.3688538
    Marc Lacointe's children could make a band. An entire orchestra if you count the bastards!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:24 No.3688558
    Marc Lecointe once lit up a nighttime terror mission by telling the darkness to fuck off.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:25 No.3688567

    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:26 No.3688569

    The presence of ranked characters at a site positively affects morale. The death of ranked characters adversely affects morale. Combat effectiveness is largely determined by actual skill-point advancement caused by doing shit. Characters that get promoted tend to have gotten shit done, and hence tend to be personally rather effective.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:26 No.3688571
    We once had a bachelor party for Lecointe. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:27 No.3688573
    i believe in the snakeman tongue the word for Marc Lecointe is pronounced Badassssssssssssssss
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:29 No.3688590
    Marc Lecointe threw a smoke grenade out of his mother's vagina before he was born.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:30 No.3688593
    Marc Lecointe and I were out on a nighttime terror mission once in the back of the Avenger with a live Sectoid.

    He grabs the Sectoid and says "I'm Marc Lecointe! Now say it!" He manipulates the Sectoid's mouth in such a way that "MURK LACONT" comes out. It wasn't exactly right, but it was pretty good for a Sectoid!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:32 No.3688611
    Marc Laconte is a ten-foot-tall, two-ton son of a bitch who could eat a hammer and take a plasma blast standing!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:34 No.3688621
    I see. Thanks.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:37 No.3688644
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    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:38 No.3688645
    Marc Lecointe made a Muton cry. They don't have tear ducts.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:40 No.3688656
    Did I ever tell you about the time Marc Lecointe came to my daughter's wedding? Yeah, he shows up right in the middle of the ceremony drunk off his ass and accompanies me and my daughter up to the altar as I go to give her away, right in between us. He's got no right to be there but I can't say anything because he's drunk, and it's Lecointe. Anyway, long story short, the preacher messes up and ends up marrying me and Lecointe! We had our honeymoon in the bahamas and for six days and nights he loved me like I've never been loved before.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:40 No.3688657
         File :1234428045.gif-(12 KB, 155x200, chryssalid.gif)
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    Disaster has struck the squad of the newly appointed Captain Marc Lecointe. He and his operatives have just learned, the hard way, that supply ships with sectoids in them tend to use a lot of psychic attacks.

    Our brave team's first experience with mind control left three dead. Two brave soldiers shot to death by the rookie in their wing, only a single turn after leaving the skyranger. The rookie in question, of course, was promptly gunned down. We at X-Com have a strict policy regarding psychic instability.

    As the supply ship had been shot down, some damage was expected. What was not expected was the loss of all three engines and large chunks of the second floor. This resulted in much more than a disappointing recovery, as there were still several cowardly aliens lurking on the still intact parts of the second floor. Two attempt to gain access to the UFO were driven back by this cowardly form of ambush.

    Finally, Captain Marc Lecointe stepped up to the plate.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:41 No.3688659
    The Virgin Mary let Marc Lecointe do her in the ass.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:43 No.3688669
    That is how I felt about >>3688571
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:44 No.3688673
    Some say that he's what you get when you mix napalm with peanut butter, and that he sleeps upside down, like a bat. All we know is, he's called Sgt. Marc Lecointe.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:44 No.3688680
    Well /tg/, I didnt get my answer in the "ask an x-com player" thread a few days ago! Once I get a psi-lab, how high psionic strength should I be looking for when recruiting agents? I want them to have a fair chance of resisting etherals panic and mind control attacks.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:46 No.3688689
    Simply being within 50 miles of Marc Lecointe can make an athlete fail tests for performance enhancing drugs.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:46 No.3688693
    Some say that he eats by shoving food into his ears, and that his urine is 83% mercury. All we know is, he's called Sgt. Marc Lecointe.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:48 No.3688703
    I once had this commander called tatyana ragulin and she was pretty epic with 50~ish kills until a raid in muton base. She passed a corner and got autoshotted with heavyplasma right into the head, 2-3 fatal wounds in the face. She survived it though, thanks to some squaddie with meds. Though after this she would panic in almost every mission, even without psyker enemies....Wounds really have lasting effects on people?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:49 No.3688706
         File :1234428547.jpg-(28 KB, 424x271, runsectoid.jpg)
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    To be quite frank, Captain Lecointe had quite enough of this shit by the time he kicked down the door separating him from the shattered interior of the UFO.

    Like the other operatives who attempted to gain entry, Marc was quickly targeted and fired upon. Seeing as how X-Com has not yet provided any sort of personal armor for its soldiers at this point, things weren't looking good for our brave defender of humanity.

    The sound and smell of cooked flesh filled the UFO. Captain Lecointe had been shot. In the back, no less!

    I will tell you something. This made Marc stop in his tracks. This made Marc quite unhappy.

    But it did not make Marc dead. This blunder would be the sectoids' undoing.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:50 No.3688715
    Your story reminds me of Sarah Blake, a rookie who saw X-Com's first terror mission. She now has over 65 kills. It is currently July, 1999.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:50 No.3688717
    Some say that if you open his rib cage, you'll find a frag grenade where a heart should be, and that he was discovered in an ice floe in Sweden some 36 years ago. All we know is he's called Sgt. Marc Lecointe.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:55 No.3688749
    What happens if you detonate a demopack in each generator in a battleship ufo? does it collapse?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:56 No.3688756

    Depends if you're Marc Lecointe or not.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)03:57 No.3688762
    In Rio de Janeiro terror mission, Marc Lecointe had a face off with a chrysallid and punched it right into the face. The chrysallid became a zombie that later on turned into another Marc Lecointe.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)04:00 No.3688785
         File :1234429208.jpg-(36 KB, 384x480, marclecointe.jpg)
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    A simple, nonchalant about face revealed the location of our cowardly foe. His petty resistance came to an unglorious end, stopped by a single snap shot of Captain Lecointe's new Heavy Plasma gun.

    The last obstacle to the control room was eliminated. Marc resumed his march on the grav lift, his back still steaming. He put on a good show for the rookies, but anyone could see he would not last long. He had 13 health. He had three fatal wounds. His back smelled like overcooked ribs basted in spicy A1.

    He was not happy.

    The psychic assault now singled out Marc Lecointe, but it was a meaningless gesture of resistance. Captain Lecointe had a mind of steel. Two sergeants followed him to the UFO's third level, and took the southern detour to the control room. Marc took the direct route.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)04:01 No.3688792
    You see total kills in the stats menu
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)04:13 No.3688854
    Marc Lacointe died for your sins.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)04:14 No.3688861
         File :1234430093.jpg-(158 KB, 1000x782, abomb.jpg)
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    They were too slow. The sergeants, I mean. Still some distance to go. Marc stood around the corner to the bridge's doorway. Time was up. He has a single point of health remaining. With nothing but a bar full of time units, a gun half-full of plasma, and a body still mostly full of guts, he rounded the corner.

    There stood the alien psychic.

    And his two bodyguards.

    All facing Captain Marc Lecointe's final assault head on.

    They did not stand a chance.

    One frantically fired in Lecointe's direction, missing his entire burst at near point-blank range. The two following bursts from Marc Lecointe showed the psychic and his bodyguard, no doubt weak from constantly hiding in small rooms and mind controlling enemies from complete safety, how to properly operate their own weaponry.

    Captain Marc Lecointe is scheduled to return to the service in 55 days. Perhaps he'll receive his well-earned promotion while recuperating again.

    Eight operatives died in that mission. Lecointe stands as the force's only operative with a 5 to 1 kill-to-mission ratio.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)04:19 No.3688878
    I remember the epic manly tears I had when on a Terror Mission my squad was gunned down ensuring that the abduction of the Sectoid Leader was a success.

    ;_; They stayed, so that mankind could live.
    >> Soul Bossa Nova 02/12/09(Thu)04:32 No.3688951
    Truly, Marc Lacointe is a hero for the ages.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)04:35 No.3688978
         File :1234431346.jpg-(149 KB, 700x1329, xcom.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)04:39 No.3688998
    Marc Laconite doesn't believe in God. God believes in Marc Laconite.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)04:39 No.3689002
    When God said "Let There Be Light," Marc Laconite flipped on the light switch.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)04:42 No.3689022
    I swear, X-Com is made of MANLY TEARS
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)04:47 No.3689058
    Marc Lecointe once cured a blind man by spitting into his eyes.

    He turned into a perfectly healthy sex-bomb of a woman, whom Marc Lecointe fucked back into blindness within the week.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)04:47 No.3689059
    Best post on /tg/ so far this year.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)04:51 No.3689078
    Marc Lecointe doesn't get hit by alien weaponry.
    He just feels pity for them.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)04:52 No.3689083
         File :1234432321.jpg-(52 KB, 646x404, megaman.jpg)
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    ITT: Your best X-Com soldiers.

    This guy stared a Tentaculat in the face and shot it to death. Sniped aquatoids from across the map with his G(ep gun)as cannon. Was the first guy to get a sonic cannon(but by that time lobstermen were around and I had resorted to using meatrushes with thermal tazers)

    I still haven't gotten through that base that is full of Tentaculats and Tasoths.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)04:53 No.3689092
    My name is Marc.

    I don't know what to feel.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)05:00 No.3689142
         File :1234432807.png-(10 KB, 137x167, Tentaculat.png)
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    What's that? Chryssalids aren't deadly enough for you?

    We can fix that.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)05:14 No.3689250
    I'm waiting for this man to get Psionics training.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)05:18 No.3689277
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    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)05:26 No.3689331

    Also Marc Lecointe demands an 1d4chan article.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)05:27 No.3689336
    >Also Marc Lecointe demands an 1d4chan article.

    As does X-Com in general.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)05:39 No.3689396

    oh god, no!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)05:48 No.3689433

    Copy+Paste powers... Goooo!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)05:53 No.3689465
    My name is Mark, can I feel awesome too?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:06 No.3689521
    No-one's gonna take me alive~
    The time has come to make things right~
    You and I must fight for our rights~
    You and I must fight to survive~
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:09 No.3689531
    Marc Lecointe once ate a Sectoid whole.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:14 No.3689550
    Fewer Brasky facts about Lecointe, more Stig facts please.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:15 No.3689556
         File :1234437332.jpg-(44 KB, 256x343, Female_Sectoid____by_IronShrin(...).jpg)
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    Sectoid bitches for Marc Lecointe!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:17 No.3689571
    Marc Lecointe is responsible for the only successful Terror Mission on Cydonia.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:21 No.3689597
    Co'h on, WEMBLEY!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:24 No.3689617
    These guys are gigantic, flying, lovecraftian chryssalids.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:25 No.3689626
    Marc Lecointe killed his wife and children. Because they were sectoids.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:27 No.3689637
    Suddenly, >>3689556 makes a lot more sense,
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:31 No.3689646
    In the year 2011, Marc Lecointe travels through time to kill Obama.

    Because he was a sectoid.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:33 No.3689656
    Marc Lecointe once drank an entire X-COM base's supply of alcohol in ten minutes. Nine months later their Skyranger gave birth.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:34 No.3689663
    In 2014, Marc Lecointe travelled through time again. He became Rasputin, which is why nobody could kill the fucker.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:35 No.3689665
    death fears Marc Lecointe
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:37 No.3689672

    Marc Lecointe travels through time by straightening the space/time curvature with his bare hands.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:38 No.3689678
    Steven Hawking told Marc Lecointe that he couldn't travel through time. That's why he's in a chair now.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:39 No.3689679
    I don't know why, but I've been trying to imagine some cool stuff to writefag about X-Com, and the only thing I can think of is this one idea about a Psi-Unlocked trooper filling her pants with grenades and detpacks and then using them to blow up a Sectoid advance force. It works.. But of course then she's in the middle of a terror mission with no pants, much to the disbelief of her squadmates.
    Also, Skyranger seats being like frickin' icicles.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:42 No.3689693
    I had a sergeant named Lecointe. He singlehandedly turned us all from sissy little 50kg, 5"2 wusses into 150kg, 7 feet tall supermen who run a kilometre in two minutes.

    He did this by applying one testicle hair to each of us.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:43 No.3689697
    DO ET
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:48 No.3689709
    Actually already done. Did it from the point of view of a couple of X-Com squaddies relating the story to a disbelieving rook. I can dig it up and post it, if you like.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:50 No.3689715
    Marc Lecointe has a picture of himself on his bedroom wall. Painted by Da Vinci.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:51 No.3689719
    Marc Lecointe vs Nils Bastionhall
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:53 No.3689724

    >Marc Lecointe has a photograph of himself on his bedroom wall. Taken by Da Vinci..
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:53 No.3689725
    Versus? Hell no! They tag team EVERYTHING!

    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:54 No.3689729
         File :1234439671.jpg-(15 KB, 262x288, 1226287366820.jpg)
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    My god
    It's beautiful
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:55 No.3689732
    Marc Lecointe is the human name for Tordek
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:55 No.3689734
    >Marc Lecointe has an image of Da Vinci in his portapotty. Painted by Jean-luc Picard.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:55 No.3689738
    >>tag-team everything

    Marc Lecointe and Nil Bastionhall defeat their foes by vigorously double-teaming their women to death?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:57 No.3689744
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    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:57 No.3689748

    Marc Lecointe is Jean-Luc Picard's father.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)06:59 No.3689751
    The Snakeman language had no word for fear. Had.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)07:08 No.3689790
    petition this to be saved somewhere due to sheer amounts of win originating from Lecointe
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)07:12 No.3689801
    Is this a badass soldier thread?
    Let see then, I once had a soldier named Boris Ragulin. BORIS. You can already tell by his name he is going to be awesome.

    He got handed a heavy cannon in his first mission, and proved to be awesome. He got shot in the face with a heavy plasma while wearing only the jumpsuit, and survived unharmed. In the next missions I always gave him his heavy cannon so he can continue to be awesome. He fought ethereals and mutons with his heavy cannon and lived through it with the power of badassery and vodka.

    When I got a psi-lab, I sent him there, of course. And the next month I see what is the result. Commander of x-com, another rather badass soldier had a psi-strenght of 99, awesomely lucky. BUT BORIS HAD FUCKING 100.

    So, I sent my best men, including BORIS to cydonia. Boris went in dual wielding a heavy cannon and a psi amp. The ethereals, chryssalids and sectopods were closing in on the few soldiers left, and they were just about to get upstairs to the mother brain to blow it up. Boris stayed behind alone to use all his time units mindcontrolling goddamn sectopods so the team could press on. The next turn he got hit by a huge plasma spam by atleast 3 ethereals and 2 sectopods, but it was too late. The rest of the team managed to breach the auditorium and bomb the mother brain in a suicidal rush.

    Boris died to the plasma fire, but humanity was saved thanks to his sacrifice ;_; MANLY TEARS
    >> That Damn Mouse 02/12/09(Thu)08:15 No.3689955
    The Ninja Turtles is based on a true story.

    Marc Lecointe once ate a live turtle, and when he shat it out three weeks later it was 6 feet tall and knew karate.
    >> Maus 02/12/09(Thu)08:27 No.3689994
    Goddamn, this made me laugh.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)08:37 No.3690028

    I pee'd myself a lil'.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)08:49 No.3690086
    X-com base attacks are terror-missions for the aliens while Marc Lecointe is there.
    >> Senex 02/12/09(Thu)10:23 No.3690610
    The Thompson family is like X-Com's version of the Belmont Clan.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)10:48 No.3690747
    I heard Marc Lecointe wrestled a Chryssalid into submission.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)10:51 No.3690760
    Marc Lecointe eats Chryssalid egg omelettes for breakfast every day and washes it down with a glass of fresh-squeezed Snakeman juice.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)10:51 No.3690761
    No Chryssalid is safe from Marc Lecointe
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)10:55 No.3690788
    Marc Lecointe can kill anyone he wants! Marc Lecointe cuts off heads ALL the time and doesn't even think twice about it. This guy is so crazy and awesome that he flips out ALL the time. I heard that Marc Lecointe was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon Marc Lecointe killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw Marc Lecointe totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)10:56 No.3690792
    Due to the budget cuts, x-com will adopt a new strategy. They will air drop Marc Lecointe from interceptors onto alien ships. He will then punch through the hull, take control of the craft and crash it into enemy bases.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)10:56 No.3690795
    On a jet made of crystal, he patrolled the land. A plasma gun and a grenade in his perfect hands.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)10:57 No.3690801
    Marc Lecointe's sperm use miniature blaster bombs to break into the ovum.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)10:57 No.3690803
    Somebody should really draw Marc Lecointe
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)10:59 No.3690819

    You can't draw Marc Lecointe because as soon as the picture is finished it punches you in the chest and runs off the paper.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)10:59 No.3690821
    And then he will punch aliens to death.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:01 No.3690843
    Marc Lecointe strangled a Deep One to death on its own proboscis.

    And he wasn't even assigned as an Aquanaut.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:03 No.3690848
    It's true. I tried.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:05 No.3690868
    It's a good thing he didn't want you dead or you certainly wouldn't be here to warn us.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:07 No.3690880
    I lol'd
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:07 No.3690883
    I've never gotten this far in Xcom before. All I have to do is research Cydonia or bust and finally build an Avenger and I'll be able to take a stab at ending this. I think I'll shore up my numbers of psi-strong soldiers for a few months before striking the final blow.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:07 No.3690884
    I still have an indentation in my chest.
    My opening line to a hot girl is "Marc Lecointe punched me once"
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:08 No.3690893
    Marc Lecointe has 50 confirmed kills with electro flares.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:09 No.3690895
    Marc Lecointe is the trainer in x-com psi labs
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:10 No.3690909
    Marc Lecointe retired from X-Com after the aliens were beaten, where he started his own business.

    You now know him as the Immortal God Emperor of Man.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:11 No.3690914
    Marc Lecointe once gave someone respeck knuckles. His whole family exploded.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:12 No.3690922
    Alien Invasion was actually a preemptive strike aimed to stop humans from developing Marc Lecointe.

    It failed.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:12 No.3690925
    For some reason I'm imagining this guy looking not unlike The Dark Knight's version of Two-Face, only with some more... extensive reconstruction.

    Running around with half a horribly disfigured head blasting aliens so more faces may be spared the torment his endured. Faces of small children and little old ladies, average Joes and Josephines like us. He damn near lost half his head so we could keep ours. And he's still fighting.



    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:14 No.3690939
    The Face On Mars? The one in Cydonia?

    Marc. Lecointe.

    He carved it from his back garden using a laser pointer.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:15 No.3690945
    I love you /tg/
    I love you so much.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:17 No.3690958
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:17 No.3690961
    My best fighter was called Signourney. Her last name is now lost to the mists of time. She was an alien killing machine.

    Let me tell you about Sgt. Signourney. She was with X-com at the start, rushed out of the Skyranger in meatrushes. She went out first. While recruits pinged at Sectoids ineffectively, Signourney knew what to do. Her first mission she headshotted two in one round.

    She quickly grew massively in power, wracking up a ridiculous amount of kills each time she was deployed. I gave her a laser rifle. Next mission she killed two cyberdiscs with it.

    By the end of the game she had power armour and heavy plasma, and was more than capable of taking on a UFO full of aliens by herself. Once, she was ambushed by a floater who auto-fired a plasma rifle into her face. She lived, and killed him on reaction fire.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:19 No.3690973

    >My best fighter was called Signourney. Her last name is now lost to the mists of time. She was an alien killing machine.

    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:19 No.3690974
    If Marc and Signourney got together, would the universe spontaneously combust?

    What would their child be like?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:19 No.3690975
    The funny thing about Signourney was that her Bravery stat was only 20, but she never, ever fled. She was seemingly invulnerable to psychic attack, and shrugged off the deaths of her other officers, leading X-com to victory over an alien base in the Himalaya mountains. She singlehandidly took out the Sectoid commmand bunker, and saved China from infiltration by aliens.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:19 No.3690978

    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:20 No.3690984
    And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the Emperor was *really* born.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:21 No.3690988
    When Marc Lecointe and Signourney Something got together and had sex, the psychic backlash of their climaxes was enough to fry the brains of all Ethereals at several light years radius.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:21 No.3690993

    Seeing as the child's parents would have conquered the alien foe QUITE THOROUGHLY, the prodigy would probably devote him or herself to the research of their smoldering remains.

    PhD in xenobiology or exotic technologies by 17. Like Doogie Howser with lasers.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:23 No.3691006
    The Heroes of X-Com.

    The next time some faggot makes a thread about Tyranids invading Earth, or Space Marines or Guard attacking the US, you know what must be done.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:24 No.3691024
    When Marc Lecointe runs out of TU's he rips apart the fabric of time with his teeth and yanks out additional TU's. Then fires his blaster launcher. In burst mode.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:25 No.3691028
    Summon the mighiest of the mighty.
    The Angel of Death.
    Finest of the Emperor's finest
    Marc Lecointe
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:26 No.3691040
    Marc Lecointe doesn't need a blaster launcher to launch blaster bombs.

    He SPITS THEM AT THE ALIENS, the bomb reaching superluminal speeds.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:27 No.3691052

    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:28 No.3691064
    Signourney can rip Cyberdisks apart with her bare hands. If she's PMSing, she uses them to shoot down alien battleships by throwing them at them.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:32 No.3691095
    Even Gregory House is polite to Marc Lecointe
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:32 No.3691099

    Look at the guy's recovery time.

    Gregory House was the one that fixed his fucking face.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:34 No.3691114
    Marc Lecointe saved my life once.

    I was attached to his group as part of a UN evaluation team, as India had raised some concern into the nature of the X-Com project. As the group entered the city, we were set upon by dark coloured creatures with crab-like claws.

    "Chryssalids" Marc shouted, shoving me out of the way of one of the monsters attacks. As I gazed up from the ground, hurt and dazed, I saw Sgt Lecointe grab the monster from the back of the head and smash it into a lamp post. Again and again he smacked it, the alien's claws thrashing wildly and ineffectively.

    The sergeant stopped when he ran out of lamp post. But in my opinion, he should have stopped when he ran out of Chryssalid.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:35 No.3691125
    Marc and Signorney Lecointe took their honeymoon at the home planet of the Ethereals. There were no survivors.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:36 No.3691133

    Yeah... it was his rookie years.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:39 No.3691160
    Attention X-com commanders.

    Her name was Signourney Bryant. Sergeant Signourney Bryant, attached to X-com in Wales. She will be missed.

    Six mission-heavy months she stayed, gunning down something in the region of a hundred enemies. It is X-com command's belief that she died the way she would have wanted to, sending hordes of bomb wielding Mutons into hell.

    Now that she is gone, command is thinking of assigning the UK branch a hover tank. It's the only thing available that has anywhere near as much turn units as she did.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:41 No.3691176
    Sometimes, when God is really, really bored, he asks Marc Lecointe if he can borrow the keys to the car.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:45 No.3691209
    Marc Lecointe is also Chicago Ted

    Chicago Ted of /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:45 No.3691211
    She's faking it. Too badass to die.

    Really she just went on an undercover mission somewhere.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:46 No.3691227
    When Sergeant Marc Lecointe was at school one day, the aliens rampaged through killing almost everyone.
    After killing a Reaper with his bare hands, he beat a sectoid to death with the reaper's jawbone, took its weapon and single-handedly routed the alien forces, saving the school.

    For his efforts that day he was given an extra cookie at recess and allowed to play with the blocks all he wanted.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:48 No.3691238
    So does /tg/ still bother with 4chan archive or is everything suptg now?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:48 No.3691248
    Crowning moment of Awesome:

    Marc Lecointe, Sigourney Weaver, entire SG1 team, Sharpe and Gregory House in Space Marine Armours storming The Eye Of Terror in a pimped out Avenger
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:49 No.3691251
    I'm a programmer. I managed to finally get version 0.5 of my code to compile, after an afternoon of slogging through stupid bugs. I arrogantly added the comment "Even Marc Lecointe thinks this is good code."

    Then I googled Marc Lecointe. He's a programming expert in Toulouse.

    Time travel? Myth... confirmed.
    >> Serendipitous Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:49 No.3691252
    this playing while Marc Lecointe & Nils Bastionhall fly a Grey Knights strike cruiser into the eye of terror.

    3 months later it blinked.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:49 No.3691256
    Sergeant Marc Lecointe bursts out of aliens chests.
    >> W.Irving 02/12/09(Thu)11:49 No.3691257
    How do I x-com?

    Checked /rs/ and 1d4, nothing there. Google only gave legit options...

    Link please?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:51 No.3691278

    crowning moment of awesome mind?
    >> NightStockAnon, Champion of Khorne 02/12/09(Thu)11:53 No.3691311
         File :1234457599.png-(6 KB, 320x200, geoscape_000.png)
    6 KB
    This is my Ubermensch: Stefan Ulbricht.

    He fights with only a laser pistol and his guts.
    >> Ouchies 02/12/09(Thu)11:54 No.3691322
    Once Marc Lecointe was handed a rifle and ammo.

    He declined the ammo.

    Lecointe doesn't need ammo.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:54 No.3691325

    There was a post between. "-mind" does not work that way.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:54 No.3691328
    Hold on, I'll put it on Mediafire for you
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:56 No.3691343
    point, but it was roughly the same idea...
    >> W.Irving 02/12/09(Thu)11:57 No.3691356

    Thanks anon!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:58 No.3691358
    Mine was more awesome
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:58 No.3691360

    What are you programming?

    Screenshots of commented source plx
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)11:59 No.3691371
    Marc Lecointe founded the Ordo Xenos
    >> Serendipitous Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:00 No.3691380
    well mine had a sound track.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:01 No.3691390
    What is the difference between Marc Lecointe and God?

    Marc Lecointe never wishes he was God.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:02 No.3691392
    Marc Lecointe once cunt punted a Norn Queen.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:02 No.3691400
    Look it's cute and everything but stop replacing Chuck Norris with Marc Lecointe in these silly anecdotes.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:03 No.3691407
    It's going to take too long for me to put my best copy of X-Com on the net, so here's a lesser copy:


    Has terror from the deep and enemy unknown. Less user friendly start up though. I think, I haven't actually tried this version. I can upload my copy after I get back from an RPG session, but another fa/tg/uy would be better off doing it.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:03 No.3691411
    Marc Lecointe once met Chuck Norris.

    Marc Lecointe couldn't stop laughing for a week. His urine drowned three villages.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:04 No.3691417
         File :1234458277.jpg-(89 KB, 800x480, lecointe.jpg)
    89 KB

    I'm programming a fairly basic hardware controller that can radiate at varying frequencies.

    pic related
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:05 No.3691428
    The best ones are more than just Norris clones. See: >>3690893 and >>3688590
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:09 No.3691449

    Sorry for stupid resolution; I'm programming on a netbook computer because I'm working from home today.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:11 No.3691459
         File :1234458673.jpg-(10 KB, 319x241, Brock1_SM.jpg)
    10 KB
    So what does Marc Lacointe look like?

    Until the drawfags arrive, this picture is my impression of him.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:13 No.3691474
    But that's Brock Samson. If you had Marc Leconite look like Brock Samson, the sheer masculinity would obliterate everything within 50 feet of him at all times.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:16 No.3691493
         File :1234458964.jpg-(71 KB, 591x755, cybertronic.jpg)
    71 KB
    Hey Faggots,

    My name is Marc, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, aliens who spend every second of their day doing stupid ass autopsies. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever captured any X-com? I mean, I guess it's fun launching terror missions at people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than probing hicks driving down old country roads.

    Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "try to hit human soldiers with heavy plasma fire"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot scientist girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all alien faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:17 No.3691503
    So you're saying it's an accurate representation of Marc Lacointe then?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:18 No.3691508

    Pic related. It's me and my custom gatling heavy plasma gun.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:18 No.3691509
         File :1234459085.jpg-(144 KB, 576x432, korgoth036ix.jpg)
    144 KB
    This is how I see Marc.

    We also need drawfaggotry of late Signourney.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:18 No.3691513

    Best version of X-com. Enemy Unknown plus TFTD, with an easy launcher for nubs.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:19 No.3691523
    Now, I can't see Marc being like that.
    His hate is more of a cold fury.
    "Bitch did you just SHOOT me?"
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:20 No.3691537
         File :1234459248.jpg-(46 KB, 650x613, 1232205488428.jpg)
    46 KB
    The people on the missile are the only survivors after the incident known only as 'Marc Vs. Cydonia'.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:21 No.3691549
         File :1234459317.jpg-(42 KB, 356x450, hari.jpg)
    42 KB
    I bet Marc looks like Harrison Ford (or vice versa)
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:23 No.3691561
    Oh hell yes.
    And it works, since you can't see the man's face.
    Simply looking upon him cuases your bowls to empty
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:23 No.3691567

    Your bowls of what? Wheaties?
    >> NightStockAnon, Champion of Khorne 02/12/09(Thu)12:25 No.3691577

    Is that possibly some Contra 3 right there?
    >> W.Irving 02/12/09(Thu)12:28 No.3691595

    Thanks anon
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:30 No.3691613
    I seriously hope this aroused memories of the 4th boss of Contra III in every fa/tg/uy
    >> Ouchies 02/12/09(Thu)12:32 No.3691632
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:38 No.3691682
    Marc Lecointe is the only man ever known to have made Evelyn Crossett swoon. He did this by beating her at a Live Reaper Eating Contest by one point. They were on Cydonia at the time, and both wearing standard X-Com jumpsuits.

    My personal favourite up-and-coming soldier is the amazingly named Austin Dodge. He uses two laser pistols, has never been hit and always waits for the enemy to reaction fire before drawing, in order to give them a chance.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:44 No.3691746
    >He uses two laser pistols,

    What's the point of that? Apart from looking cool, that is. It's more weight to carry and dual-wielding has absolutely no use I've found.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:49 No.3691784
    I suppose that while I'm doing concept art for a blatant and affectionate clone of this game, I might as well portray Marc somehow.

    If the OP is still around, what'd the guy look like in your game? To the rest of you, classic X-Com style or something of my own creation?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:50 No.3691794
    >To the rest of you, classic X-Com style or something of my own creation?

    Just give him personal armor and laser pistol. Other than that, use your imagination.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)12:54 No.3691823

    I personally feel that X-Com proper would be best but I have no practice in it, so be forewarned if /tg/ese democracy swings that way.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)13:09 No.3691979
    I thought /tg/ ought to know that Sgt. Signourney Bryant is not, despite claims to the contrary, dead.

    She re-appeared in Canada, bravely leading X-com forces to victory against a harvest craft full of Floaters. They never had a chance.

    She's now a captain.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)13:58 No.3692539
         File :1234465139.jpg-(54 KB, 624x246, xcomlineup.jpg)
    54 KB

    I tried to grab an image of Marc Lecointe, causing my computer to be destroyed and myself to lose consciousness for several hours.

    Before I passed out, I can only vaguely recall the face of a redhead. His hair was a mess.

    He was grinning madly.

    He had reason to be. He was preparing for an alien base assault.
    >> Ouchies 02/12/09(Thu)14:48 No.3692919
    Xcom proper would have way more lasting value.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/09(Thu)15:34 No.3693266

    Did you save early?

    Did you save often?

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