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  • File :1235977405.jpg-(83 KB, 750x600, 1226003464402.jpg)
    83 KB Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)02:03 No.3856783  
    ITT ignoble ways for baddies to die.

    So the knight, ranger, sorcerer, and cleric walk into an old abandoned villa with a small squad of hopelessly underpowered hopplytes in tow and run into a yuan-ti pureblood on an overlooking balcony. He shouts some stuff in gibberish, Sense Motive checks are made, and initiative is rolled. The H-blood gets crap initiative, and the ranger and sorcerer each put an arrow in him before his undead minions (2 skeletal apes and a zombie lion) even get on the field, so he cause fear's the knight (who makes his save) and then retreats. While everyone fights the big bad undead death machines (who knock all the redshirts to -6 exactly, at which point they all legitimately self-stabilize somehow), the yuna-ti shapeshifts into a tiny snake and escapes out a back window, eventually attempting to hole up in a small (6-inch diameter) hole in the stone granite cliff behind the villa.

    Once the undead fall, the cleric tends to the wounded while the ranger and sorcerer give chase to the yuan-ti. They find the blood trail leading to the hole and are mystified, so the sorcerer casts light on a stone, throws it in, and then mage hands it further in looking for the bad guy. Seeing this, the ranger tears a spare set of clothing into ribbons, bails them up, soaks them in oil, and then lights it on fire while the sorcerer telekineticaly shoves the flaming wad into the hole.

    Yuan-ti rolls for breath holding, and gets a 15, 11, 4, 3, and promptly begins suffocating. Yuan-ti falls unconscious. Yuan-ti auto-morphs out of snake form.

    In a 6-inch diameter hole.

    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)02:13 No.3856862
    Hah, I'm picturing the two guys standing by the hole and watching the smoke come out of it and then a fountain of gore erupting from it.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)02:15 No.3856872
    Ignoble? Perhaps.

    Badass for the players? Definitely.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)02:16 No.3856885
    Actually, yes, it did.

    They were bummed out because they couldn't reach his gear. They took over the villa for their own, instead.

    <---- DM'ed that game by the way.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)02:32 No.3857016
    in a homebrew-ish setting based in 7th sea: We're a crew of 12 commandos of various backgrounds and specialties (it was a HUGE game, but pretty fun- everyone went off to do side-missions that influenced the overall story, and anyone who didn't show or had to leave early wouldn't be missed. Shame it only lasted 2 sessions). Half of the players were more RP-based and had stumbled onto the mission, and the other half were combat based soldiers, outfitted for generic military combat stuff.

    We're coming up on our final objective, and there's a big crew of baddies grouped semi-loosely around what we're looking for. We're way outnumbered, and we've been sucking at one-on-one combats so far. Our basic plan is to have the people with grenades throw them down towards the enemies to soften them up, then to charge in and have the big showdown the DM had very obviously been planning on.

    What he HADN'T planned on was how many of us had grenade launchers, and how well they'd roll. The big apocalyptic end fight lasted one and a half rounds, while THREE of our 12 players wiped out the entire encampment before anyone else was even able to get into combat range.

    If the DM hadn't been an idiot and spaced them out a little more (or had the objective not be a building that had to be indestructible for the plot to move forward) it would have been 100 times more interesting, though we WERE laughing pretty hard.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)02:50 No.3857153
    Was in a Dark Heresy game, all of us had fairly high level characters.....a Guardsman, arbitrator, psyker (3rd one he rolled, he kept getting swallowed up by the warp), assassin, and a cleric.

    We're hunting down the planetary governor and the stage is set for the final battle, and we're all pretty sure we're gonna die, after all, we're going up against a full platoon of elite PDF forces with heavy weapons emplacements.

    The Governor's personal bunker has a rather small viewport, about 5" high and 6" across facing the area we'd be coming from.

    Our Guardsman takes out a long-las and asks "About how far behind the enemy is the Governor?" DM says "about 50 meters"

    Well, our guardsman crawls forward under cover of night and says that he's going to wait for the Governor to look through the viewport. Our psyker decides to use his absolutely horrible luck to make a distraction, so he runs forward and rolls.....and gets swallowed by the warp again. This makes the PDF open up and the Governor looks through the viewport.

    Our Guardsman calls his shot and from 100m away, misses the governor, and hits a tank of promethium tank inside the bunker. Governor and his personal elite guard of 5 baddies are engulfed in a flames and all die.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)03:00 No.3857241
    First tuen of the epic final battle, barbarian rushes the evil necromancer, knocks him off the edge of a cliff.

    Fucker died and we had 3 hours to burn.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)03:03 No.3857263
    So I'm playing in a homebrew campaign based around modified 3.5 rules. A paladin-only campaign to be exact, except each player was only required to have one level of paladin so the party balanced out pretty well.

    The party has traveled north to a desert city and begins investigating near-daily demon attacks on the city. The city has a dimensional lock effect, so the demons are obviously being summoned from outside of the city by a fairly high level caster.

    Eventually we track the caster to its lair, and have the big reveal that it was actually a blue dragon. After engaging the dragon in battle for a while, the dragon triumphantly shouts something to the effect of "Puny monkeys, I am invincible!"

    The next round the dragon is killed by a spellcaster's familiar, a housecat. Turns out it was just bluffing.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)03:04 No.3857275
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)05:35 No.3858385
    Once in 3ed we were all playing magic using students after a wizardry school was attacked by a disgruntled former professor turned necromancer attacked and killed (and raised) almost everyone there.

    We battle our way out of the school, down to the gates, through the city turning to madness, through the *Sigh* graveyard, to his evil fortress at the far side of town.
    An old watchtower built on the edge of a cliff from generations past when war was common between nations.

    "So, who goes up to the door first?"
    "Wait... how close is the tower to the edge of the cliff?"
    "It's on the edge, large support beams help hold the weight."
    "And this cliff is-"
    "At least forty meters tall..." GM paused as she realised what was going to be said next...

    "Look, can't you guys go inside and have a large dramatic battle, the likes of which would become an epic pome to be remembered for centuries to come?"

    We all pause for a moment to consider this. but ultimately, to us, this was more epic.

    "Everyone, with me on the count of push."

    That was the last time any bbeg had a home in tall towers in our group.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)05:44 No.3858447
    This was for the Marvel Super Heroes game.

    I created a truly evil mastermind character with a plan get the heroes put in jail. Part of said plan invovled transforming himself into a little girl to trick one of the heroes into killing a man on TV because violence against children automatically put said hero into beserker state.

    Plan works. Kinda. The first thing they do when beserked is kill the kid, who turns back into their nemesis, cancelling the beserker state.

    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)06:02 No.3858572
    Hunter: The Reckoning game.
    My players had tracked down a young vampire who was present at their imbuing. Having a pretty good idea what they were due to their total lack of subtlety, he invites them into his home while he steps into his office to fetch a paper cutter. One short monologue later, combat begins.
    He gets one good swing off before the party's old woman of high society chucks a pipebomb and legs it out of the room with other players in tow, holding the door shut behind them. The bomb fucks him up, so he takes a round to heal. Big mistake. The old lady pulls out her Derringer and plugs him, rolling with absolutely godly luck and doing 7 health levels after soaking. For those not familiar, that's as many as people have.
    In summary, my campaigns first boss got one-shotted by an old lady with a Derringer.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)06:17 No.3858670
    Dark Heresy Campaign

    Part is at level 2 (only just, highest has spent 650 experience)
    Campaign had them investigating a small cult that was trying to summon a daemon, wreck up part of Ambulon for Khorne, etc. Anyway, the party(Psyker, Scum, Arbitrator, Adept, Techpriest, 2 Guardsmen and an Assassin) had been investigating the rumors of the cult, and generally mucking about. Anyway, they mess up horribly on trying to find the cult, and don't even stumble upon them until after the summoning ritual has started, but come with some local administrators in tow. What follows is a massive bloodbath, resulting in 23 bloody as fuck deaths (2 being party members, the Scum and the Assassin). This was all DURING a summoning ritual to Khorne, who is just so pleased with the impromptu slaughter that instead of sending in some pussy lesser daemon, he sends in a fucking Charnel Daemon. So, it was at this point that in theory, the only way for the remaining acolytes to accomplish this mission was for at least some of them to escape long enough to make an exterminatus call and MAYBE make it back to a transport.
    The very first person who got to act after the Charnel Daemon appeared was the Adept. He decides to charge the daemon, and hopefully buy a scant moment or two for the rest of the party to get a head start (noble sacrifice and all). So, he charges it with his knife (he had opted to trade in his staff for a knife earlier, just for flavor reasons). He successfully hits it (impressive, when he has a weapon skill of 27) and proceeds to roll a ten. We were all impressed, and then he successfully confirmed rightous fury, so he got to roll again. Ten. By this point we have started roaring, as we find this hilarious, and joke about how crazy it would be if he killed it.
    He kept rolling. Ten. Ten. Ten. Ten. Ten. Ten. Ten. Ten. Nine.
    A level two adept one shotted a Charnel Daemon with an ordinary knife with room to spare.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)06:19 No.3858685
    While that is hilariously anti-climactic, I am curious how some wizardry students had enough muscle, buffs or no, to push over a building.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)06:27 No.3858728
    The emperor's might flows strongly in this one...
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)06:27 No.3858729
         File :1235993238.jpg-(46 KB, 600x400, 1212557766015.jpg)
    46 KB
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)06:29 No.3858739

    My players did the same thing. Well, the notable exception being the use of a rocks to mud spell that made the support beams come loose from the cliff's edge.

    Those bastards.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)06:40 No.3858794
    Oh yeah, he also had a strength of 24, so he was both weak and had no talent for swinging things, and yet still killed a super monster in one hit. The GM already gave him a full 1,000 bonus xp (no one objected, fucker earned it) but still has no idea what the inquisition would have to say to a confirmed report from a batch of newby acolytes that the bookworm absolutely curb stomped a daemon that can eat space marines.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)06:42 No.3858804
    He'll probably become a Saint or something. They should make a supplement in case this happens again.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)06:42 No.3858805

    You know that Vampires convert guns to bashing and take half bashing damage before soak, right?
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)06:45 No.3858815
    Hell, by the sounds of things, he should be promoted to the emperor's personal guard
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)06:56 No.3858864
    The part that gets me most isn't the threat discrepancy between a lvl 2 acolyte and a Charnel Daemon, or his low scores. It is that an ADEPT, the least melee class possible, did it.
    But yeah, there has to be SOMETHING awesome in his future as a result of this.

    I and the rest of the group are pushing the GM to at the very least give him contempt(daemons) as a bonus talent just for how awesome it was. [either a renamed hatred or something that lets the character ignore the effects or Daemonic presence or treat their fear rating as being lower or something]
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:06 No.3858903



    >Noble Sacrifice


    (by the way, since this was obviously a miracle granted by the Emperor, you should have the local ecclisiarch people confirm the miracle and have it written down).

    Hell, if the guy survives much longer, he's possibly destined for sainthood (he should at least be a person of adoration and worship for pilgrims of the planet after he, you know, saved them from Khorne).
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:12 No.3858926
    Nigger should be allowed to take a couple of picks from a combat class for his badassery.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:14 No.3858932
    Well, a good number of local arbitrators survived, and they (Ambulon as a whole, and all of Scintilla to a lesser extent) basically treat him as some sort of mix of the second coming of Drusus and Sebastian Thor. He could probably spend the rest of his life coasting through Ambulon fathering children and getting free stuff without anyone there getting pissed.

    Oh yeah, the Inquisition let the party know that at the least the Malfian Bloodsworn have put the potential cost for putting a hit on him at such an astronomical value that he basically never needs to worry about it, and other organizations likely followed suit. So he has had some perks so far.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:16 No.3858935
    The really funny part is the player is slightly terrified of playing more, as he is pretty fucking certain there is no way he can top this shit.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:18 No.3858941

    But seriously, that knife should count as sanctified from now on, I mean shit.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:23 No.3858954
    Oh yeah, forgot to mention, but the attack from
    was to the head. So he Beheaded a Charnel Daemon and spewed blood everywhere. Incidentally, he did make the agility test to not get coated in blood, so he came out spotless.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:23 No.3858956
    Makes me want to play DH. Is the combat clunky and slow? Looks clunky and slow.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:25 No.3858960
    I don't find it so. It can actually get really hectic and crazy if enough automatic weapons are involved.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:28 No.3858970
    3.5 DnD.

    Supoer-powerful archmage builds an engine to suck out souls of the dead and add them to his own life, and this pissed off several gods. So we were called in, a small standard party, with one exception: A gnome priest. Of Glittergold.

    Anyway, we make our way up, to find this hueg house-sized daimond held up by several chains with the souls whorling i-

    The gnome inturrups the DM.
    "So where exactly is the archmage?" he asks.
    "Right below the tip of the diamond, so he can more easily access the souls."
    It took four destructive spells (one from the wiz, one from the sorc) and two wands to blow the chains off of the soul daimond and crush the fucker.

    Glittergold loved it so much, he gave the gnome a special holy symbol.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:38 No.3858994
    Garl Cheapskate.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:40 No.3859004
    Oh, the holy symbol not only gave stuff like turn undead bonuses, but it alse was able to turn a pound of coins to the next grade up. copper turned to silver, silver to gold, then gold to plat. Unfortunately, it was only able to do so once a year, if we tried more... Garl didn't like it.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:40 No.3859005
    This, combined with everything else you've told us about the guy, says that he should be fucking sainted for this. Seriously, give this guy a promotion or something.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:41 No.3859007
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:41 No.3859008
    Also, all we had to do was flash that fucker at any temple and we got free healing and anything else we wanted.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:44 No.3859017
    Garl Cheapskate. He is tight with gifts. His people are famous for big, long noses. His clerics can turn money. Oh Mr. Lorio, how long can we keep this up?
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:44 No.3859019
    I am certainly open to the idea, but what effects would it have in the game, and how could we pitch it to the GM?
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:45 No.3859023
    The character is retired from play.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:48 No.3859036
    Oh yeah, forgot something. We play by randomly rolling everything for our characters (world, class, etc) and the name the guy rolled was Castus Grendel.

    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:56 No.3859066
    ...my god I wish I could draw, I have the perfect idea for this. The adept is standing behind the Charnel Daemon's now headless corpse (spraying blood everywhere) calmly wiping his knife on his robes looking bored, while the daemon's head falls to the ground, a trail of blood following it. All others in the room have a HOLY FUCK look on their face, and one of his party members is saying "By the Emperor, Grendel scares me"
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:57 No.3859078
    Dude managed to dodge the blood from the corpse. He'd be wiping his knife on a cloth, not his robes.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:58 No.3859086
    Now how would an acolyte afford a piece of cloth?
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)07:59 No.3859098

    I wonder what Khorne thought of this.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:00 No.3859103
    If this doesn't impress him, few things will.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:02 No.3859113
    The daemon died in a suitable Khorne manner. besides, it was killed by one of the guys who made the summoning such a bloodbath. I bet Khorne fucking loves Grendel!
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:05 No.3859123
    "Should we send more?"
    "Send the dude a fucking six pack! That was bloody good entertainment!"
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:08 No.3859136
    I bet Khorne wishes more of his cultists were like Grendel.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:08 No.3859139
    The grey knights should throw that guy a kegger.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:09 No.3859145
    "Lord, you're watching that footage again."
    "I-it's not like I like him! I'm just..... just trying to find the gap in the daemon's defense!"
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:10 No.3859149
    Mutants and Masterminds
    After a shared secret origin on a swanky yacht, involving a shadowy arcane ritual and a comet crashing into the ocean, our party wakes up with superpowers, on a sea of ice next to a mysterious island. Long story short, it's populated by ice demons, who have taken the rest of the people from the yacht to a tower to have their life energy sucked out. We proceed to kick arse up the tower, freeing people as we go, until we come to a halt about three floors below the top.
    Our intangible scout goes ahead, spotting on the top floor is the throne room for the king Ice-beast, who's about twice the size of the regular ones. We don't much care to tangle with him, so we shoot him in the head.
    Through the floor.
    And decaptitate him in one shot.
    The GM cried.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:12 No.3859156

    "S-stupid servant of the corpse-Emperor! It's not like I like you or anything! J-just take the stupid boon!"
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:13 No.3859157

    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:17 No.3859177
    Grendel needs pics.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:17 No.3859178
    Someone Archive this, I'm going to bed
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:19 No.3859191
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:20 No.3859193
    Fuck yeah he does. Something like
    would be FUCKAWESOME
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:20 No.3859195

    Khorne is gay for Grendel. Slaanesh is pleased.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:23 No.3859209
    ...would it be awesome or terrible if the guy became an unwitting lesser champion of Khorne, the Inquisition found out and in the process of not dying, caused more and more deaths, leading to him becoming a favored champion and eventually a daemon prince.

    Just because Khorne thought it would be funny.
    ..fuck this makes Khorne sound way cooler than the other three.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:23 No.3859214
    MY GOD.


    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:26 No.3859230

    That really sounds more Tzeentch's speed.

    If the bloodbath were incidental, maybe. Like, Khorne goes "what, YOU again? Okay, this probably isn't a fluke. Have some demon prince stuff."
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:27 No.3859238
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:28 No.3859240
    ...I could totally see that. I fucking love Khorne.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:28 No.3859242

    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:33 No.3859258

    But but Khornes wang is just another tool for bloodletting!

    This can't end well.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:33 No.3859262
    He's our 1st chaos god. Even the Emprah fed him with some good skulls and blood.

    Although they never could be good buddies because the Emprah is a DAMN PSYKER GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:37 No.3859281
    I'm still in favor of the grey knight kegger
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:38 No.3859290
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:41 No.3859310
    My personal conviction is that Khorne represents the unyielding will of everything alive to survive. No matter what the cost. Every struggle to live fuels his power.

    His current behavior is explained thus: Unlike the other gods he has an existence outside the galaxy, wherever there is life fighting to survive there is Khorne. For various reasons he did not care about whats happening in the milky way - the iron men would be disgusting to my version of him, a they slaughter without being alive just to name one thing - and thus git to be present when the other gods showed up. And he does not care to have them run amuck in his turf so he stays close and tries to keep them in single galaxy. Then Horus happens, Emperor dying would be mean mega death for at least an galaxy so he tries to stabilize the Emperor in the warp. Unfortunatly two things: Emperor is in fact a god and resists to this day - or maybe for them time has slowed down in their struggle - and is not aware that Khorne is not interesed in a snack. For this reason much of his saner personality aspects are locked up in struggle with the Emperor, leaving the savage, bloodthirsthy beast in charge.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:42 No.3859315
    Sainthood is, sadly, almost always granted Posthumously. The Thorians will come calling, though. Slaying a powerful daemon with a single knife blow suggests that the Emperor is more than with him.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:43 No.3859317
    So they'll eventually both merge into EMRAORNE!
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)08:56 No.3859357
    Blood for the God Emperor?
    Skulls for the Golden Throne?
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:05 No.3859391
    Nah, Khorne simply does not care for the huge genocidal clusterfuck an dead emperor would represent.
    Neither is going to be pleased at their little nap.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:06 No.3859396
    Emprahs killyier than Khorne?
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:06 No.3859397
    How would the visuals of this play out? I mean, you've basically got a glorified clerk with a hunting knife wearing some business clothes suddenly matrix-jumping at this 10 foot roaring demon of war. I'm having some issues imagining this.

    Maybe the blade started shimmering, and Grendel grew a halo of holy flame, as he gave a warcry that shook the very foundations of the building. It was a miracle, so he'd likely be carried a full 8 feet up, stepping on the daemon's axe mid-swing, over its shoulder as he makes a quick horizontal slash through its neck, right below the thing's skull. It follows through with its axe still hitting air, as its head is suddenly ejected from its torso by a small geyser of blackish-red blood. Grendel tucks and rolls some 10 feet behind the demon, narrowly missing the spray of gore. He comes out of the roll still crouched, and whips around with blade at the ready. All he sees is a mutated, collapsing body and the extremely startled look on the daemon's face.

    The daemon then self-immolates, from both shame and khorne orgasming over the awesome that just happened. The holy aura ebbs from the adept, and he drops the blade from his outstretched hand.

    Grendel stands and pulls out a lho stick. He pats himself for a lighter, and realizing that he has none, uses the still-smoldering skull of the demon for one.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:07 No.3859400
    I think the best I've ever been involved with concerned a new Guardsman in our group. The guy loved the class despite always running in to the thick of things and getting himself blown to bits, and I think this had to have been his seventh or eighth character in the campaign. Now this character managed to live for a good while, and actually managed to get up to Lieutenant level. Most of us were pretty darn impressed, especially with his love of battle-claws and melee combat versus terrible demonic entities. We went and started playing around with investigating the Murder Room, and the Gm spun it into being a bloody portal to a Khornate daemon world. This translates to not fun, especially when some frigging cultists open the thing into the middle of a hive. We stride in with full armaments, but the Guardsman specifically requests a Vox that can reach an Orbital Relay station. GM is confused, but okays it.

    Lots of brutal death all around, My player gets horribly eviscerated by rampaging Daemons, as well as four other people in the party. All thats left is our Priest and said Lieutenant, both badly wounded. Big cluster of Daemons are coming for their skulls, and the Priest fires up his Eviscerator to kick some Daemonic ass. He righteous furies a couple of times, but inevitably gets ripped to shreds by the Daemon hordes in a suitably epic last stand. This entire time, the Guardsman hasn't run into combat, and since the cheers have died down as to the Priests last stand, we're wondering what hes going to do. He shrugs, and asks the GM whether an "On My Position" type roll would require a WP roll. Gm doesn't know what that is, so the Lieutenant clarifies that he want to call down an Exterminatus on his broadcast coordinates. With great cheering and whooping, the guy rolls a 01 for his WP roll and proceeds to take down an entire Daemon-infested hive with him.

    Brings the term "last stand" to a whole new level.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:18 No.3859438
    Interesting, but you can't "Exterminatus" a single hive. When Exterminatus is ordered, the planet is destroyed or rendered uninhabitable.

    Orbital bombardment to level a hive is very possible though.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:19 No.3859442

    Grendel should be in /tg/ canon. He is that awesome. Where are the drawfags to commemorate this occasion?
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:26 No.3859472
    No clue, but I do agree.
    Imagine. Grendel meets Fuklaw.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:27 No.3859474
    There we were, in the den of warlocks. Shadows flickered across the ceiling of the room as our eyes laid upon, in the middle of the room, a pit filling with molten metal and containing the skeleton of a demon god the warlocks were trying to resurrect, by sacrificing the precious metals and divine power laid within the holy symbols they had stolen from various religions.

    The lieutenant warlock, effectively the leader since their real leader was bedridden, stood up top of a platform suspended high above the pool of metal, clutching the recently born son of our party's warlock (and using the baby as a +1 light shield, no less), who happened to formerly be a member of this very cabal. On the side of the room is a conveyer belt, with a bone golem loading it with the holy symbols heading for the pit of demonic doom.

    My cleric, being a bit of an ass, abandons the party to rescue her own precious holy symbol from a fiery doom and ends up fighting the golem on top of the conveyor belt. But that's unimportant.

    The warlock and the party rogue confront the head warlock, who threatens to cast the baby into the abyss. The warlock, thinking quickly, invokes a spell that causes him to switch places with the baby. The baby is now safely on the floor of the room, and the party warlock is being grappled by the head warlock.

    They struggle, twisting back and forth while the rogue strikes at any advantage he can get. The head warlock gazes into our warlock's eyes, and he can feel his body slowing, but he presses on. The rogue manages to push the evil warlock away from our friend and off the platform, but manages to catch himself. Our warlock, freed, turns and promptly blasts him off the edge, watching him fall into the pit of molten steel.

    The warlock's body seizes up, and he sees a gray discoloration spreading across his body. With his last words, he advises us on where to go, and to take care of his son...

    ...wait, I think I missed the point of the thread.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:31 No.3859489

    I came
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:35 No.3859505

    This must be done, for the Emperor, for great justice.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:43 No.3859543
    My version of Khorne basically dislikes only 'Nids and Necrons.
    Necrons because of the whole end all life thing and 'Nids for being the end of all other life.
    Orks would be on that list too but they to disorganized to really steamroll all else.

    By the same token unless you as as a species are threathned by extinction by a vastly superior foe it is unlikely that will do more than bless a few champions for both sides.
    Stick vs. AK47 ok, Stick vs Exterminatus == Seal Khornate Disapproval.

    My version has the equivalent of zoos stashed away, mostly populated by species who were simply unlucky in being present at the clash of two equally matched foes, or being overwhelmed by numbers.
    His scale for overwhelmed is sliding and depends on the capabilities of both sides. If he thinks that should have been able to to take on a thousand times your number and fail then your species is not going to be rescued.
    On the other hand, a peaceful tribe who never had to fight which suddenly faces a Whaagh and only manages to down a Snotling might very well be saved.
    Of couse the last then thousand that aint happening mostly* due to being locked in combat with the emperor.

    *Several, some of them rescued, races have united under Khornes banner and try to enforces his will regarding that. They are not even coming close to galaxies neighboring the Milky Way. Khorne said to stay the fuck away and the can feel disturbances - the other chaos gods - in the warp. For them the Milky Way is what the Eye of Terror is for the Milky Way. Which is why they not pursuing the 'Nids there.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:45 No.3859551

    ~So Tsundere!
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:45 No.3859556
    I'm glad you don't write 40k canon fluff.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:46 No.3859559
    wait, what exactly happened there?
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:48 No.3859572
    DM used super ghey warlock invocation that doesn't exist to kill off a PC.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:51 No.3859581

    Long story short we cut into the DM's plans of hostaging our warlock's baby by teleporting the baby right out his hands and pushing him into a pit of molten steel. Our warlock got turned to stone for his trouble, but he got better.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:52 No.3859593

    Well, our warlock did fail like three saving throws.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:53 No.3859596
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    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:54 No.3859602
    And I haven't even told you about my secret Imperial Army detachment set up by the emperor to defeat the Mechanicus.

    Be very glad.

    Seriously, I'd like to have at least one god who is willing to bitchslap anyone.
    And you haven't noticed that this Khorne is absurdly powerful by being fuel by the survive of every living being in the universe.
    For 99.99999 percent of the universe Khorne is the warp with nothing else in it.
    Most of his demons are his memories of long dead or yet to be born champions of other races, driven insane by his bloodlust and the state of the warp in the Milky Way.
    >> The Warp !JpnUTrf.3g!!bDkfMyS4JZx 03/02/09(Mon)09:54 No.3859604
    sounds a bit like the scenario im running tomorrow :\

    except with ex-drunk techpriest who thinks he's deadpool
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:56 No.3859612
    So stupid. Shut up. Your ideas suck. Seriously.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)09:57 No.3859621
    Bitch, you are RUINING this for me.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)10:02 No.3859642
    One player needed to be the angsty revenge driven guy, so I appealed to him by making one semi important NPC the one that killed his father. The twist? He was under a spell when he did so, and only just recently broke it when the PCs killed the vampire who put it on him. So the once sadistic and evil necromancer finds himself in control of himself again and is racked in guilt. The angsty guy was on the "Good guys" PC team, which consisted of a rogue (Him), a cleric, a paladin, a swashbuckler, and a fighter. The bad guys PC team was a sorcerer, a bard, a fighter, a barbarian, and a scout. The necromancer's boss doesn't know that he's free, so the necromancers sees a way to make things right. This would be leading the bad guys into a trap by inviting them to his castle then having the good guys attack them. He did not now about the two groups relationships with one another. The good guys cleric was friends since birth with the bad guys bard, the good guys swashbuckler was a sister to the bad guys sorcerer, and the good guys fighter was hoping to arrest the bad guys barbarian. Bad guys arrive first, then the good guys. Shit hits the fan and everyone is fighting, the necromancer joins the fray by doing battle with the sorcerer, hoping for the others to join him. Not as planned. The rogue does nothing but rush and attack him despite his pleas. The cleric and bard do absolutely nothing when pretty much everyone else dies. The rogue rolls a sense motive check on the necromancer who is not fighting back, passing it. I tell him that he isn't lying. The rogue still attacks the poor guy. So there goes the necromancer, killed not fighting back. The way that ended was awful. Rather than the good guys fighting the bad guys and one coming out on top it was a clusterfuck.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)10:05 No.3859658
    I get these ideas while I poop.
    And this why I go through the trouble remembering them.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)10:38 No.3859772
    My experience happened just this Sunday, in a 3.5 game. My party was traveling under some city sewers, looking for some shrine of Olidammura. After facing several traps, we achieve our objective but just when we think it's safe, we come across a Gibbering Mouther, which nearly made short work of one of our level-6 characters before when he went solo under the sewers.

    Anyway, we decide to take it on... which was a huge mistake since most of us couldn't make our saves. Our fighter couldn't do jack shit for four rounds, being driven to madness and fear each round, as many of us were. When he finally does make his save, he joins the rest of the party in beating the shit out of it with our bludgeoning weapons.

    Until it's the monster's turn, and it decides to grapple him, by engulfing the fighter. It's been hit with alchemist's fire and bludgeoned repeatedly but it's still going strong, sapping away at our characters' constitutions (I was driven down to 5 hit points, max).

    Next up, it's Eladrin the Fighter's turn once more. He successfully frees from himself from the grapple, but losing his weapon, he decides to punch it barehanded. He rolls, lands the punch, and in his only successful attack of the encounter (indeed, of the entire game that night), he kills the Gibbering Mouther.

    Our party exchanges looks between their weapons and his fist, and let out a hearty FUCK YEAH!
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)10:51 No.3859822
    First level characters fighting a low level wizard who blinded our deadly barbarian with pyrotechnics from a scroll, had minions to distract our other fighter, and shocking grasped our rogue into unconsciousness. My sorceress had hit him with two minor damaging spells, and the rogue had thrown a dagger for more damage than my spells had done.

    He hit me with his wand of shockign grasp, and I was still conscious, but he started to run for the door invoking a single attack of opportunity....from a sorceress with a strength of 8. I rolled....a natural twenty. I even confirmed the crit. And rolled maximum damage, which was non-lethal....

    But still enough to knock him unconscious.

    So the main badguy for the adventure was K-Oed by a 90 pound little elf girl's bare fist.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)11:28 No.3860015
    That wizard should have the word "owned" tattoed/branded onto his forehead.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)12:14 No.3860201

    /a/ called they want their Kurosaki Ichigo back!
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)12:23 No.3860247
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    A low-level Adept takes one of these guys out with a knife?

    The Emperor protects the righteous.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)13:11 No.3860499

    Leave this place at once.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)13:37 No.3860679
    Assuming destruction at -8 wounds he'd need to have dealt 48 damage before Toughness reductions.

    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)16:53 No.3862257
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    And he did it with this.

    That is the most metal thing since Dr. Doom strangled Satan.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)17:04 No.3862374
    I know they take lethal as bashing, but where does it say the damage is cut in half? Incapacitated by bashing is still incapacitated, leaving the party to decapitate him with his own paper cutter.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)17:58 No.3862890
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    In case anyone is curious.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)18:01 No.3862913
    Exactly why Grendel is fuckawesome.

    And yes, either the event in question should be drawfagged, or the ensuing Grey knight kegger for him. Either or.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)18:05 No.3862939
    Actually he did exactly 52 (assuming original post is accurate), which meant he pushed it to -12 wounds (maxing it on the critical table) in one hit, all the way from full health. And then made the agility test to not get coated by the fountain of blood and gore that erupted when he beheaded the shit.

    Goddamn, Grendel is awesome.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)18:06 No.3862946

    I seem to have missed the part where Dr. Doom becomes god.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)18:13 No.3863016
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    It's from a "What If" asking the the question "What If... Doctor Doom kept the Beyonder's powers?". You can find it with /rs/ but it's best if you read Secret Wars first.

    The part with Cosmic Doombots has to be seen to be believed.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)18:13 No.3863017
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    >> DRAWFAG TO THE RESCUE! Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)18:36 No.3863208
    Anonymous drawfag here. I'll have a drawfagged Grendel on this board later tonight.

    I don't normally draw for /tg/. But this is an occasion I won't miss.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)18:43 No.3863250
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    >>we were all playing magic using students after a wizardry school was attacked by a disgruntled former professor turned necromancer

    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)19:10 No.3863456
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)19:19 No.3863556
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    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)20:24 No.3864178
    You're a saint, sir.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)20:28 No.3864217
    Pfft, you think that adept was imbued with the power of the emperor. What crap, obviously Khorne's just found his latest play thing.

    Now should the Adept be promoted to Saint or Emperors Guard or whatever...well he's already tainted and then it's Bloodthirster bursting out the head time.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)21:17 No.3864723
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    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)21:28 No.3864801
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)21:30 No.3864818
    For the Emprah.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)21:59 No.3865108
    Even Fuklaw should be impressed.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)22:26 No.3865375
    Goddamn, Grendel is awesome.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)22:36 No.3865489
    I was playing a paranormal/psiquic setting the other day, one guy had the hability to combine telekinesis with melee attacks to throw somebody with a punch and things like that.

    So this guy tried to kick in the nuts a quite strong enemy (the guy could shoot bullets to your fucking soul) using this abilty, so he got a damn awesome roll on telekinesis, ok, this guy is going to fly, then he rolls strentgh for damage. again, this PC gets straight 8's (It's a homebrew d8 system)

    So, the result was that the guy got kicked in the nuts so hard that he smashed the ceiling (20 ft high), and crashed on the floor breaking his spine and smashing his skull on a table.

    Worst kick in the nuts ever.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)22:41 No.3865548
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)22:45 No.3865574
    /tg/, I can't fucking upload my piece. What the fuck?
    >> Original Drawfag to the rescue- Finished work Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)22:48 No.3865601
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    I have finished my piece, which I submit now, humbly, anonymously, in hopes that Castus Grendel might be etched forever in the annals of /tg/ sainthood.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)22:51 No.3865619
    Holy Crap, Grendel got DOUBLE DRAWFAGGED in one thread. Shit is awesome!
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)22:58 No.3865660
    Who votes that Grendel should be made official /tg/ Canon?

    Me, for one.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)22:58 No.3865662
    I love how the Guardsman looks both reverant and flat out TERRIFIED of Grendel.

    Which party member is the guy behind Grendel supposed to be? Or is it supposed to be one of the Arbitrators?
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:02 No.3865687
    I agree.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:03 No.3865696

    That one's the assassin. Or failing that, he's an arbitrator. See, what's important is his expression.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:04 No.3865712
    Oh man, just witnessed the birth of a legend. Chaos must be terrified. Need to get some writefaggotry up to immortalize Grendel.


    I, and many others, whole heartily support this proposition.
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:11 No.3865763
    Wow, /tg/ LOEV Grendel.

    Anyway, we have finished talking with the GM and the player of Grendel, and here is what has been decided he will get, in addition to the bonus xp and adulation of Ambulon:
    The custom Talent Contempt(Daemons) which allows him to flat out ignore the fear rating and daemonic presence of daemons.

    Additionally, Grendel's Knife is now Sanctified and Mono, and can reroll a missed attack once per round if the attack is made against a daemon. It is now called Grendel's Claw.

    Grendel is now that which daemons run in terror from. And he is still nothing more than a bookworm.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:13 No.3865773
    He looks so sad, knowing he can never kill in a manner as cool as that.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:15 No.3865788



    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:16 No.3865795
    My best kill was in Shadowrun.

    I was playing a dwarven demolitions expert. Lots of grenades and bombs. We were raiding a house or something, I forget why. There was one guy in a small room, like 5'x5' or something. I toss a concussion grenade into the room, and it lands right in the middle, where the guy is standing.

    Players have about 10 hp in shadowrun (plus minus a few depending on stats). They can take 10 non-lethal damage, then non-leathal starts rolling over to lethal damage. Your armor and stats reduce the amount of damage you take. With good armor and stats 10 damage becomes 2 damage.

    The concussion grenade does about 15 non-lethal damage, however because the guy was in the small room the blast shockwave reflected off the walls. The guy had to try to resist something like 250 points of non-lethal damage. His head popped.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:20 No.3865826


    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:23 No.3865846
    Is this enough for a 1d4chan article?
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:24 No.3865852

    LOEV does not began to describe what we feel for him. In many ways, he is one of us. A dork, a geek, a bookworm, a fa/tg/uy, but one who, when push comes to shove, can KILL A MUTHERFUCKIN EXTERMINATUS LEVEL THREAT WITH PRACTICALLY HIS BARE HANDS. Perhaps that is why we feel so connected to him. Perhaps that is why we feel he should not be lost to the ages, but celebrated as a /tg/ hero.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:24 No.3865855
    ...that...that seems fair, actually. He stared one of the baddest of daemons in the eye in the infancy of his career and murdered it like nothing. I doubt a daemonette will frighten him.

    Also, consider this guy partially stolen, he is going to get referenced in one of my dark heresy campaigns. A brave acolyte might even be blessed with Grendel's Claw.
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:25 No.3865863
    I know, that is one of the reasons I thought that this event was awesome.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:28 No.3865878
    Reminds me of Commissar Kid.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:30 No.3865894

    Yes, but there will probably be more lore by the end of this thing. Go on and create the outlines of one, and if it catches on, as it should, add more. I don't think we'll see the last of Grendel any time soon, so keep on it.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:35 No.3865927
    Thanks to Grendel, my favored class from henceforth shall be the Adept. Fuck those who say they suck.
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:38 No.3865950
    Oh yeah, it should be obvious, but we will continue playing, and I will post a synopsis of what Grendel does each time until he either dies or retires.

    Our next mission should start in a couple days.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:38 No.3865958
    If this party ever gets wiped, Grendel's claw should become a relic weapon.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:40 No.3865975

    Nah man, don't tell us about his death. Once you become a meme, you stay a meme. And that means you stay alive.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:43 No.3866003
    He'll just get reincarnated or something. Someone who serves the Emperor like that gets to stick around.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:45 No.3866020

    Not a meme, yet. You have to know, the road to /tg/'s pantheon is a long and arduous one, fraught with failure. Look at the commissars. Of them, only Raege and Fuklaw remain, and Raege is slowly being fazed out.
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:47 No.3866037
    If he dies, he will get a Machine Resurrection advance. I am the Techpriest acolyte, and I will make damn sure that he stays alive in some form or other.

    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:48 No.3866045
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:48 No.3866053
    Am I the only one that thinks the idea of ROBO-GRENDEL to be just as awesome, if not more so than the normal one? I can't tell since I have been taking shrooms.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:49 No.3866056
    Grendel should become a dreadnought.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:50 No.3866070
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    Screencap til someone who knows what they're doing with these things can take a better one for future generations
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:51 No.3866076

    Less awesome. One of his big draws is that he is a badass normal. There isn't anything inherently special about him, he just owns a lot. And he's a nerd, too.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:51 No.3866077
    Rapefist is there, Commissar Kid is there if you want to count him. They might not be active, but forgotten gods are still gods.

    "It is not dead, which can eternal lie, and in strange aeons, even death may die." and all that.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:54 No.3866100


    He's great alright.
    >> Anonymous 03/02/09(Mon)23:59 No.3866133
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)00:00 No.3866143
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    Forced Meme Reporting :3
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)00:02 No.3866158
    >Forced meme
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)00:04 No.3866175
    >Forced meme

    Fist Meme
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)00:09 No.3866223
    You know, Grendel could live a pretty nice, comfortable life away from any danger. With this act, becoming a sanctioned saint and hero of the Imperium can't be that far off. The Imperium would probably be more then happy to use him for publicity. But no, he will not settle down. He knows his duty is out there, in the midst of it, fighting back and striking fear in the hearts of the enemies of the Emperor. Additionally, reading is the only thing he pursues with the same zeal in which he serves the Empra, and he hears that there are some pretty badass books out there to recover...
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)00:12 No.3866241
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    Hopefully this one will turn out a bit clearer.
    >> Pvt. Skwadbrogen 03/03/09(Tue)00:13 No.3866247
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    I love you, Grendel.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)00:14 No.3866261
    Hey, who here wants to do a Warhammer 40K (wargame) version of Grendel. I want to see what /tg/ brews.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)00:20 No.3866315
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    Memefist Diamondmetal
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)00:22 No.3866346
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    Hey Grendel...

    Being a saint for the Emperor is a real turn on. There just, something so... wrong screwing one of the heroes of our sworn enemy. It just makes me so horny. So, why don't you come on over and we Chaos girls will show you a real good time, something those white haired ninnies could never show you.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)00:27 No.3866396

    Chaos gets too much sex. Its the sex deprived who give the most.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)00:59 No.3866701
    Posting in Grendel's first thread.

    Oh, and once our 3.5 party was doing battle with some gargantuan, undead bloated thing at a rather low level, after it popped out of the ground during a tournament, and after an extremely difficult battle that involved getting eaten multiple times by it our useless idiot cleric of Pelor manages to pop the thing with about 2 damage from his spiritual weapon.
    He was hailed as a hero by the city. The rest of the party was about as unamused yet relieved as you could imagine.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)01:42 No.3866995
    Maybe if you read more books you could be more like him.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)02:15 No.3867208
    fuck. I would love to see some Grendal writefaggotory.
    Well, a few games ago we were playing in 3.5 and we were ambushed by a hill giant. He was holding a massive boulder and was about to throw it at us. Rolled initiative, the ranger goes right before the giant. She fires and arrow at the giant's wrist and crits it. The giant drops the 400lb boulder and it falls on his head. Giant brains were strewn across a large area.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)02:39 No.3867453
    posting in Grendel's first thread. I will see if I can drawfag something that does him justice, to be posted later.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)02:55 No.3867596
    It's not about Grendel, I know, but...

    Pretty unclassy way of dealing with my GM's big bad. Our group was supposed to fight their way through a library filled with golems and guards, face off with the big bad in his antechamber underground, and retrieve the treasure, including the MacGuffin, from the room beyond him.

    We went in through the sewers, Dimension Doored "15 feet north and 2 feet down," popped out in the middle of his hoard, grabbed some shit, and Dimension Doored out.

    He later wound up planning a refuge in a tower - our druid flew above the tower and dropped pebbles that turned into boulders. Four or five of those and the tower was almost rubble. (Three didn't even hit, but the other two took out decent chunks of the tower.)
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)03:55 No.3868057
    Oh yeah, forgot this, but some funny things about Castus Grendel:

    He has not bought a single Sound Constitution, and rolled a 1 for starting wounds. He still has a wounds of 8 and a TB of 2 and no armor.

    He is from a forge world and rolled the Demesne background. I would say he proved his right to survive via superiority.

    He has not bought a single remotely combat relate skill.

    He rolled his build off of Hive World, and rolled Stocky. He is a fa/tg/uy.

    He has an Agility of 28.

    He is essentially an fat, physically incapable fuck who still pulled this shit off.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)04:14 No.3868171
    /tg/ is Grendel and Grendel is /tg/!
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)04:26 No.3868244
    This was insane. He shouldn't be doing this. He should be sitting behind a desk, filling out tax returns or filing away quota reports. But who would be mad enough to refuse an inquisitor? And so he'd been dragged into this insanity, into this chaos, and found himself doing something notable for once.

    Because he was going to save the world. With his death, he could buy enough time for the real heroes to escape, and put an end to the foul cult threatening the sanctity of Ambulon. This glorious city of the Emperor could not be defiled; this planet could not be corrupted. For the Emperor.

    "Hah-ha-ha-ha..." The demon was turning towards him, laughing at his wheezes as he forced air into his lungs. Years of desk living had decimated whatever muscles he had, and turned his body into a stocky barrel of fat. He didn't have any combat skills; he didn't have any muscles beyond what was needed to lift a data-slate or two. By the Emperor, he wasn't even all that healthy! Two visits to the chirurgeon before his fourth decade, in order to bypass clogged arteries! He was a fool for doing this! If he could run, he should be running away!

    'No.' Something was denying these thoughts. 'Why run away? Is that how I'm going to end my life, as a coward? I would never forgive myself. The Emperor would never forgive me. This is all I can do now.'
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)04:30 No.3868271

    "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The demon doesn't even move. It lets the chubby little man-thing approach, fists waving in the air. Even when it pulls out a dagger, it isn't worried. There is nothing on this world that can harm it; soon, the skies would weep blood, the bones of a billion people would built temples to the power of Khorne, the world itself would awake, and slaughter all it could. For those foolish pawns running away, there would be no salvation, no escape. It's attention turns away from the screaming man-thing, and it begins to lumber forward, raising it's demonic weaponry as it prepares to strike the fleeing party.

    Grendel knows that the demon won't allow his comrades to escape. His partners, his friends, people he's risked his life with. He cannot allow them to die; he won't allow them to die. For the first time in his life, he knows what it feels like to truly belong, to have people he can trust and protect. They are good people. Well, maybe not that gang-scum. But he will protect them, to his last breath. To save this world, and to repay them for the purpose they brought to his worthless life. If this was all he could do, die and buy them a few more seconds of freedom, a chance to warn the inquisitor, then he would do it.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)04:45 No.3868364
    "For The Emperor!!!!" Grendel cries out as he charges the demon, knife in hand. It plunges into the demon's leg, slicing deep into the warp-flesh of the beast. Crying it, the demon swings at Grendel with its claws, but he has stumbled from the force of hitting the demon. They miss, and Grendel stabs down again. And again, and again. Fuelled by fear and rage, he stabs the demon wherever he can.

    The demon tries to grab him, to rend him and end the annoyance of this weakling's stings, but it cannot. Grendel slips away from every attempted grasp, through clumsiness and luck. Every swing simply cannot connect, as Grendel slashes and slices and stabs into the exposed flesh of the arms and forces them away. Every bite brings the knife closer and closer to striking the demon's warp-tainted skull. Slowly, ever so slowly, the demon realizes: It cannot win.

    A rage is flowing through Grendel now, a force that he has never felt before. An energy courses through his limbs, bringing them around to strike without conscious thought. He cannot see the demon's movements, not entirely. A blur of a claw, just missing his skull. A monstrous mouth, filled with jagged teeth, seen only as it pulls back from a stabbing dagger. His fear is gone, banished. Only a rage, at the arrogance of these cultists and the stupidity of this demon, at the corrupt traders and worshippers who would allow such taint to enter the Emperor's lands, drove him now.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)04:59 No.3868479
    The demon is battered, forced back. Wounds cover it, wounds that have rent it's false tendons and shattered it's unreal bones. How? Why? To this berserk creature, these thoughts were unable to articulate themselves. But it found its rage ebbing, and an alien, unknown feeling flowing. It could see a golden light, shining from every orifice of its opponent, a light that was as hateful to it as the scent of Slaanesh.

    Again, and again, Grendel pushed forward, screaming wordless cries of rage. The demon is falling, slipping in the remains of the sacrifices. It's attempts to attack fall short, it's attempt to defend brushed aside. With a final cry, Grendel rushes forward, arms outstretched. The dagger flies forward, propelled by this enraged servant of the Emperor, glinting with the polluted blood of the daemon. It spears the creature's monstrous head, stabbing through it's gaping mouth and plunging into it's unholy brain.

    Grendel doesn't feel the teeth, or hear the unholy death-screams that seek to curse him and destroy him. All he feels, at last, is a sense of peace and knowledge. He knows where he will go now, what he will do. He will remain with the retinue, support it, fight for it when needed. He is no longer afraid to face the world, hiding away from it behind the shield of beauracracy. No, he will confront it, and fight it wherever and however he can, because he knows now.

    The Emperor does not care if you are young or old, fat or slim, hiver or ag-worker or low-land slummer. He takes all men beneath his banner, for he needs all men. Whatever you can contribute, you must, lest the forces of the heretic and the xenos gather the strength to destroy mankind. So he won't fear any more, he won't be afraid.

    'Let them come, and face my wrath in the Emperor's name.'

    (Yeah, I don't play Dark Heresy or Tabletop RPG's, so sorry for errors and forgetting daemon should be used instead of demon. It's done, as requested.)
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)05:49 No.3868725
    Other than the slight discrepancies between this and what was presented in the posts by the guy who brought Grendel to us, this is fucking AWESOME.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)06:30 No.3868988
    If the guy would tell us more about how the group interacts, it would be better, I think.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)06:54 No.3869088
    Still some fine writefaggotry. May Grendel live long and serve the Emperor until his eventual demise.
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)06:57 No.3869105
    HAH! I knew there was a reason I checked here again before going to sleep!

    Anyway, the party interaction is as follows:

    Both the Guardsman are new players, one from Volge Hive, one from a Feral world, and both have crazy toughness (both have over 40) and thanks to this, do not do much in the way of strategizing or being diplomatic. However, as new players they defer to the more verbally minded characters when it is time to decide what to do (basically they are muscle, as they should be)

    The Techpriest (me) has been serving as a sometime leader, trading out with the arbitrator periodically as he has better training at most verbal interaction. The techpriest is played as being quietly scornful of the beliefs of the other acolytes and roleplayed as being a bit standoffish to the party, as ultimately, they have different beliefs.

    The arbitrator is from gunmetal city and duals shotgun pistols (even though she has no talents to make dual wield worthwhile yet) and loves following right behind the charging guardsman to get of some point blank scatter shooting goodness. She HAD been flirting with the assassin who was a great shooter, but he blew up in a pile of gore, so that is done.

    The psyker is a vanilla psyker roleplayed as being completely subservient to the whims of those he is told to follow, and flagellates himself when he manifest phenomena for being 'unclean'. He has a rebuilt skull, which is awesome.

    And then there is Grendel. He (up until the event) was a strange sort, both largely ignored by the party for his lack of combat ability (he frequently just ran from it before for obvious reasons) but his expanse of knowledge (tech use, common/scholastic/forbidden lore, you name it) He has made a habit of laboriously transcribing notes both in and out of game on what happens, and is basically the guy the party defers to when it comes to clarifying what has been learned.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)07:03 No.3869125
    Your group sounds pretty awesome. What about the deceased, though? The scum and the assassin.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)07:15 No.3869162
    in a 3.5ed pretty standard campaign, we were at about 25th level, a rouge who could fly 60ft per turn, a wizard with a magic carpet flying 60ft per turn, a psion who could do god knows what the same speed, a cleric who moved 10ft per turn because he was carrying so much crap, and a monk who could move 250 ft per turn.

    well we are traveling across a courtyard(long story), and suddenly, as we reach the end, and are preparing to leave, about 2/3rds of the stone courtyard turns into a construct, one of the DM's homebrews.
    someone remebers that it can move 15ft a turn, well the cleric is the closest to it, and for one reason or another, we need him for the end of the campaign, so the dm gives us a turn to figure out how to save him, so we get this.

    the psion empties his largest bag of holding of some odd planks, a birdcage, and a dead, but not decaying cow, and when the cleric is not looking, shoves him in, draws the string, repeates for the wizard, then hands the bag to the monk, who then runs at full speed, which the DM determines is about 300mph, towards our destination, and makes it in 4 turns, by which point the wizard teleports us to him, effectivley shortening the campaign by an entire session.

    the monk died subsequently, because his feet got so hot they burned his legs off
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)07:31 No.3869224
    >the monk died subsequently, because his feet got so hot they burned his legs off

    this is bad and you should feel bad
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)07:38 No.3869256
    The Assassin was roleplayed to be like LIIVI (another fa/tg/uy) and was all around awesome. He was going along with the flirting because it was pretty close to Love Can Bloom in that the two met while trying to kill each other (long story). He LOVED his Long Las, and had pulled off a couple awesome headshots. His new char will be a Cleric, and Monodominant, so the interactions with the Psyker should be awesome, as the Psyker will probably agree and flagellate himself more.

    The Scum wore one of those exploding callers and had previously been part of the cold courior guild or whatever it is called and had a fake lung (player refused to run or charge too, which I thought was an awesome choice to reflect having one lung) and was an asshole and reluctant ally to the party. His new char will be an Assassin with the Moritat background, so he will be a slice and dice fucker.

    That cover them good?
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)07:45 No.3869288
    Sounds good.

    And Moriats are awesome. One of my players just played his first session as one. Feral worlder, of course, and Dusk specifically. Which apparently means that he speaks like an Aussie, lingo and all. The rest of the players and I have no fucking clue what he's saying most of the time, but nobody can argue with the effectiveness of two best quality mono-axes.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)08:57 No.3869522
    I could argue with two Best Quality Chain Axes or Best Quality Power Longswords.

    But they are slightly more expensive.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)08:59 No.3869534
    Chainswords are utterly redundant with Moriat assassins, since they treat any edged weapon they wield as having the Tearing quality.

    Mechanically, at least. Chainaxes are still FUCK YEAH awesome.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)09:08 No.3869549
    True, but they still get a higher damage bonus and penetration than vanilla axes.

    Dammit, I wish the DH books present rules for Nemesis weapons or some differently shaped power weapons. I want a power hammer, but have no idea how it would look.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)09:18 No.3869591
    Power Sword does 5 more damage than a regular sword, has Pen 6 and the Power Field trait. Assuming you want a 1 handed power hammer it would look something like this.

    Power Hammer - 1d10+6 E, Pen 6, Power Field, Unbalanced.

    The Deathwatch Sergeant in Purge the Unclean has a Thunder Hammer, so you can look up stats for that there if you want.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)10:01 No.3869813
    I love how a thread about ignoble ways to kill bad guys turned into a thread about Grendel, Hero of the Imperium, most badass bookworm ever to have lived.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)10:02 No.3869824
    Can we PLEASE get back on the original topic? Grendel's great and all, but...seriously? +100 posts about him?

    Actually can we just make a new thread about one subject or the other?
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)10:21 No.3869898
    Posting in an epic thread.

    Grendel is fuckwin. But, admitttedly we need moar ignoble deaths of BBEGs.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)10:29 No.3869920
    Dark Heresy, running through Illumination. Most of us had read it and, because of this, the entire scenario was altered heavily by our GM. It still culminated with a battle against a daemon possessing a non-psyker and running a ritual to get into the body of a Saint-descended seer. We go in with shotguns, autopistols and a hellgun, ready to sell our expendable lives to ensure the Saint Drusus' feast day doesn't get all fucked up by the inevitable undound daemonhost that would result from such. Our tech-priest gets disembowelled fairly swiftly and we all start to panic. My cleric, thinking the end is near aims for the thing's head with his shotgun, his previous two shots seeming to have done very little damage and fires.

    It dies instantly and we all sit around, stunned that we'd put it down with only one death, no other injuries and in under three rounds.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)11:00 No.3870037
    One of the PC's due to insisting on having sex with as many people in order to get various STD's. Then he would have the parties Cleric cure disease and go about his marry way. To put a stop to this faggotry, the GM gave him super AIDS, which would only be cured once they defeated BBEG (the king) and no amount of magic will cure it. For every time he had sex with it would nerf a stat by 1 point until he had a 0 in a stat. The GM said "Hope you enjoy your aids" The player asked the if this disease too was communicable. The GM agrees, and the rest of us groan as we know where this is going. Boy were we wrong.

    He takes a sample of his blood, and uses a rod of dominate to get the kings personal doctor to inject the king with the aids infected blood. Then pays for a wish to temporarily stick the PC's in suspended animation until the king dies. The king dies a slow and painful aids filled death. Players wake up, king is dead, so the douche's magic aids are now gone, as if everyone that the king infected.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)11:04 No.3870053
    Did they close the pool?
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)11:57 No.3870295
    To pull a Grendel means to get extremely lucky in an extraordinary way. Isn't it amazing how Grendel has already become one of our beloved characters and apart of our lexicon this quickly. I've already seen him mentioned in two topics outside of this one. Kudos to "The Guy Who Cried Grendel" for giving us this new character.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)12:01 No.3870314
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)12:04 No.3870328
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)12:08 No.3870345
         File :1236100106.jpg-(3 KB, 100x132, Grendel.jpg)
    3 KB
    Let's see.......

    A seemingly normal, some what nerdy type at a very low level in a setting swarming with things that could kill an average man with a stare kills one such thing.......with one cut of his knife?

    Hello Grendel Nanaya.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)12:12 No.3870361

    Well, it took a while, but you finally came. Just wondering, what does please you, because it seems like every time I see you, your doing some inane trolling. Infact, all I ever hear is gb2/ / ,"sage this shit", "kill yourself" or "GTFO furry/animu shit on my /tg/".
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)12:16 No.3870375
    We're going to have to create more Grendel topics. One Grendel topic is not enough, we need moar.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)12:18 No.3870383
    that's not how a concussion grenade works. He would've just lost hearing and have blood drip from every facial orifice. A con grenade has *almost the same effectiveness in the middle of a field as in a wooden room, because walls absorb sound shockwaves. Unless the room was made out of a giant cathedral bell or something
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)12:19 No.3870387



    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)12:20 No.3870393
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)12:22 No.3870405
    that redhead eldar wouldve fucked him if he rolled a 99

    don't you know tests to seduce macha are taken at a 80+ bonus?
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)12:28 No.3870428
    The point, I think, is that he sexed Macha. It wasn't her attempting to get sex, which would fail, or someone attempting to bed Macha specifically, which would also fail. He simply tried (and succeeded) to fuck a drunk Eldar chick.

    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)12:36 No.3870465
    A bit of a late entry, and not exactly a death, but more of an ignominious defeat suffered by a midboss of yesterday's GURPS game. The party is trying to rescue a prisoner from a town chieftain's hall, and just as they're making their escape, this black-clad sorcerer (who's been effectively ruling the town through the grip of fear) shows up, along with pretty much every warrior the town can muster.

    After the obligatory gloating, the sorcerer orders the warriors to attack. The party decide to try to get them to back off, and make their Intimidation checks. Every single one of them succeeds, and the one with Incompetence (Intimidation) rolls a critical success. It's a stand-off: the sorcerer's minions are too afraid of him to retreat, but can't bring themselves to start the battle either. The sorcerer tries to use some sort of Terror ability on the party, but only one of them fails their Will roll. The rest are still facing him down, as well as keeping the army at bay. The fact that this is all happening indoors in cramped quarters also provides a slight advantage for the PCs - while they have no place to retreat, not many of the enemies could get at them at once.

    Now the party's biggest, toughest guy starts slowly walking up the stairs, with the mooks scrambling to get out of his way. The sorcerer raises his staff, and warns him to back off, claiming to be wielding the power of the thunder gods themselves. After carefully lining up the shot, he then fires a lightning bolt at the PC in question, who decides to forego his Dodge roll as he has two other characters behind him who could potentially be hit by the bolt. He takes the hit squarely in the chest, doing 18 damage, but having 20 in total and making a Health roll at -9 to avoid being stunned (or potentially having his heart stop), he's still on his feet.

    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)12:37 No.3870472

    The sorcerer retreats up the stairs, but is quickly running out of options. He can't fire the staff again until it recharges (which takes about 24 hours). Instead, he tries to use a Suggestion spell on the PC to get him to drop his weapon, but with very little chance of working due to the guy's extremely high Will. His last resort is to use another spell to command one of the ordinary warriors to attack, but the lowly Will 10 no-name NPC is able to resist the Will 15 sorcerer's spell, and decides he'd rather not throw his own life away.

    The next turn, the sorcerer gets his staff knocked out of his hand, and is trapped upstairs with no allies and pretty much no place to go. At this point he finally cracks, turning about, running for his life, and jumping out of the nearest window. He lands on his left arm with the full weight of his body, breaking it in several places and crushing it permanently beyond rescue. The fall also knocks him unconscious, and he ends up taken prisoner by the PCs, one of whom has to amputate the arm to keep him alive.

    I'd expected the guy to be a bit more of a challenge, really.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)13:23 No.3870793
    I was going to say that is a terrible comparison, but then I realized not only did I not have a single reason to back up the claim, but the comparison is in fact, perfect. It even explains how someone who is timid as fuck would do this.

    So, I also now believe that Grendel is Castus' version of Shiki's Nanaya


    it works way too well.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)14:39 No.3871264
    Homebrew cyberpunk-supernatural setting & ruleset based around single D10 rolls.

    We were ice-road trucking between Svalbad and Moscow, over the ice-pack, and we got jumped by a stolen Soviet sub.

    I (playing a trucker) put the hammer down. Jake (playing a demolitions expert) made every gram of Semtex he owned into one big bomb.

    Ten natural tens later, I'd driven straight over the foredecks of the sub without losing a KPH, and Jake had flung the bomb onto that point where the conning tower meets the sub's hull.

    More natural tens followed. The sub was blown into scrap metal.

    And that's how a bog-standard 1970's Mack full of rednecks destroys a ballistic missile submarine.
    >> Anonymous 03/03/09(Tue)15:55 No.3871735
    After reading all this, all I have to say is.

    Grendel, FUCK YEAH!

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