A) Treasure of the Barrow Wight

>>3884957

Since there's been no surge of replies, we'll go with the Treasure of the Barrow Wight first.

You are an adventurer who dabbles in a little bit of everything. However, you may at this point choose to heighten your abilities in one of the following fields :

Fighting
Magic
Trickery

Magic

>>3885043

You increase your knowledge about magic.

You are now able to cast the following spells (once only, each) this adventure :

Identify
Firedart
Light

You sit down to discuss theology with an old man.

Do you wish to worship a deity at this time? (Yes/No)

>>3885067
Worship Nurgle

Maybe.
What are the choices?

>>3885067
Nah.

>>3885099
>>3885110

The old man tells you that you may worship any of the three gods (or not at all)

Beatrice (Good)
Sky Goddess (Neutral)
War (Evil)

>>3885122
Those are boring. Xom or bust.

>>3885122
NO GOD, ONLY MAN.

>>3885122
Rename War to Xom, and you have yourself a deal.

>>3885145
>>3885130

You put your hand up to silence the old man before you leave the table. You need no god.

Before you proceed, are you a good man, a neutral man, or an evil man?

>>3885183
we are Awesome

fuck those other shitty alignments

Evil

>>3885183
Neutral

>>3885208
>>3885217
>>3885224

I'm going to say that Awesome is self reliant, which falls closest to Neutral.

You care not for the over-all greater good or evil, but are a true adventurer, and will go where you go.

The last stop before you descend into exploration is the Blacksmith's Shop.

Roll 5d100 to determine your gold.

rolled 48, 40, 19, 88, 32 = 227

I CURSETH THEE WITH LOW AMOUNT OF GOLD

>>3885284

You have 227 gold pieces.

You enter the smithery.

He offers Weapons, Armor, and Miscellany.

Which would you like to see first?

>>3885306
Misc, oh sweet nothingness I want misc!

>>3885269

Armor - living is underrated.

>>3885306
Armor! I want yon robes!

>>3885306
Weapons

Miscellany, my good sir.

>>3885342
>>3885345

The Armor available in your price range currently :

Leather Armor : 100 gold
Chainmail : 200 gold
Buckler : 50 gold
Spiked Shield : 100 gold

You can withhold any purchases until the end of your browsing.

Weapons/Miscellany

>>3885376
A buckler. And only a buckler.

I dunno that's a lot fo dice

>>3885368
>>3885340

Misellany

Mystery Potion : 200 gold
Sleep Scroll : 50 gold

>>3885422
I want the mystery potion.

goddamn it why did the tau faggot have to roll so poorly

Lastly, Weapons

Longsword : 30 gold
Axe : 40 gold
Mace : 25 gold
Claymore (2H) : 80 gold
Sling (with 5 rocks) : 15 gold
Longbow (with 10 arrows) : 65 gold

>>3885422
>Mystery Potion : 200 gold
OOOOH, HOW MYSTERIOUS!

I'll take it! And I'll give 20 extra to the guy as a tip.

Sling and mystery potion.

Drink mystery potion right away.

>>3885438

He could have rolled 5 1s.

I too, want delicious mystery potion

Mystery potion.

You have purchased a Mystery Potion. (Why am I not surprised?)

You have 27 gold remaining.

Sling

>>3885499
Let's drink it! I can barely contain my excitement.

>>3885511
Seconded! Drink the potion, only a moment after receiving it from the kind shopkeeper.

>>3885499
Drink ye potion, buy ye sling.

We're going David and Goliath up in this motherfucker.

>>3885518
>>3885511
>>3885510
>>3885463

You have purchased a sling. You have 12 gold remaining, and store it away in your pouch.

You quaff the mystery potion, much to the surprise of the leprechaun.

Roll a 1d100.

>>3885519
WITH MAGIC(K)! I propose Divination as our primary school, as it resembles the word "divine" and it likely to have something to do with the christian god. LET'S DO IT!

you cannot drink ye potion

rolled 3 = 3

LOW ROLL

I HOPE YOU DO NOT TURN INTO A COMMUNIST

rolled 62 = 62

>>3885529
ROLLING!

>>3885545
:|

>>3885545

oh goddamn it...

>>3885545

FUCK

rolled 4 = 4

>>3885545
Fuck you bitch, I had us above 60!
FFFFFF

>>3885561

>>3885545
Well, I'll be damned...

MAYBE A LOW ROLL IS A GOOD THING.

MAYBE IT WILL GRANT US PROTECTION FROM EDWARD. OR SOMETHING.

>>3885561
Well fuck, forgot the fill-in email. :<

What now, DM? D:

>>3885545

The potion slides down your throat; it is hot, and stings. It creates a similar sensation to being slapped, if you were slapped by a hand made entirely out of bees.

After a fit of coughing, you wipe your bleary eyes. You feel funny.

Inventory :

Empty Mystery Potion
Walking Stick (free with every adventure)
Sling
5 Rocks
Pouch -> 12 gold.

You leave the shop.

Enter the barrow?

>>3885611

>>3885611
Can we urinate into the mystery potion bottle and sell it back to the merchant as a new and entirely different mystery potion?

>>3885611
Yell at Leprachaun for selling a defective potion.

>>3885611
Five stones won't cut it. We need more stones.

WE MUST GATHER MORE STONES UNTIL WE ARE THE KING OF SLINGS!

>>3885611
>free with every adventure
:D
>Enter the barrow?
Why would I? What's the quest?

wouldn't a hand made of bees just kinda.. pop before they could sting ya?

Throw sling at that dumb leprechaun. Travel through town picking up more stones.

>>3885636
YES
SLINGINATOR

>>3885655
>>3885650
>>3885636

You search outside the entrance of the barrow for additional stones.

Roll a 1d10.

rolled 2 = 2

>>3885660

rolled 4 = 4

>>3885660
THIS TIME!

>>3885664
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

>>3885660
DM, it's STONES.
STONES, do we really need to discuss this?
We can get an infinite number free of charge by just looking or digging.

>>3885664

You only manage to find two stones of proper size for sling use.

There is a rope ladder leading down directly into the barrow from the grassy soil you stand upon.

>>3885664
I feel like such a Shas'o. :(

Pick up stones, while announcing that I am the king of sling.

>>3885664
>>3885668

>>3885682
Well, we can continue looking for stones.
I think having at least 25 is a good starting point.

>>3885681
You rolled a 1, CRITICAL STONE FINDING FAILURE! You slip and fall, breaking your neck in the process. You are dead. Game over. The end.

>>3885691

You cross your arms while standing atop the barrow, loudly declaring yourself to be the King of Slings; the Sling King. None of the local peasantry milling about the fields outside seem to dispute this claim.

>>3885714
I get my rocks, my sling, and I practice for a bit againts trees., for a few hours, including moving and runnng practice runs. Gotta get in shape and make sure i'm ready.

I say we go find some witchaloks.

rolled 46 = 46

Fuck wrong line

>>3885714
Point to one of the peasantry. Offer him ten (10) gold in order to accompany me on my journey as the Sling King's official stone bearer.

rolled 13 = 13

>>3885714
Approach the nearest peasant and denounce him/her as a witchalok.

>>3885735
>>3885758

After a bit of practice, you feel fairly comfortable that you're able to hit whatever you sling rocks at.

Some of the peasants seem intrigued, but most fear the barrow due to the local myths of monsters inside.

Roll a 1d20 to see if any of the peasants will take you up on the offer.

Enter Barrow

rolled 16 = 16

>>3885779
FEAR ME, BUT FOLLOW!

>>3885779
As a show of power, I cast my Firedart to the air to (assure them I am capable of defending myself and them.)

Also, I throw a few leaves as part of the casting to make it seem more glitzy and powerfull as they ignite- it should impress the commoners.)

For the peasant!

rolled 7 = 7

>>3885779
The peasant had better be a damn witchalok

>>3885798
Fuck. Year!

rolled 1 = 1

[x] Genuflect
[x] Rape the maids

>>3885798

A homely young man no older than 17 winters with a lazy eye is the only one to leave his farming duties.

Do you wish to hire Marty the peasant?

Y/N

Find the most intelligent-looking person in the town and ask him about the Legend of the Barrow(™)!

Y

>>3885818
Yes! Yes! By all that is neutral, yes!

I rape the young man.

>>3885818
Y.

From this day forth, he is no longer Marty the Peasant. He is Marty Stonegripper.

>>3885842
Agreed! Marty Stonegripper shall be known throughout the lands!

>>3885802
Aye! I train Marty Stonegripper for a few hours in the basics of combat- since he doesnt have any weapons, I teach him the basics of brawling.

Namely, using the sling rocks I have given him to use as melee weapons. Thus, his name shall make sense, and thus his fighting will strenghten mine.

>>3885834
>>3885835
>>3885835

You have hired a peasant (to carry your rocks).

You now have 2 gold.

Marty recalls that two hundred years ago, a mighty king constructed this barrow for himself, and moved into it when he was getting old. He also drained the treasury and brought it with him.

Everyone who entered the barrow to see what became of the king and his treasures never returned.

But Marty says that he knows a guy who knew a guy who went into the barrow and said it was safe. Totally.

>>3885873
Marty Stonegripper is a legit guy. I say we can safely enter the barrow! ENTER THE BARROW!

Sounds safe to me. Send Marty Stonegripper in first just in case.

>>3885884
No! He must remain behind us in the barrow. He is protecting our most precious of cargo!

>>3885871
>>3885859
>>3885842

Marty has acquired the title "Stonegripper". He is somewhat frail and inaccurate, but could possibly bash something with a rock.

Marty is now equipped with Rock.

>>3885873
I ask Marty to keep his eyes open for sling rocks. it is his DUTY to make sure he grabs and collects as many as he sees. For we are ONE!

I sling, he collects and holds!

>>3885873
MARTY LIES! Beat him to make him confess the truth!

>>3885873
Grasp Marty firmly by the shoulder and look deep in his eyes.

Tell him, in a steady voice full of conviction:

"You are one of my people now, Marty Stonegripper. You will assist me in my quest. The Kindgom of Slings has needs, Marty. This Sling Kingdom, this Slingdom, requires more stones. Far more stones. You know these fields well, Marty. Where can these stones be found?"

>>3885893
I ask Marty to show me his BEST "FIGHTING" face. It's crucial.

I must know the strength within his lanky, frail soul and wandering eye.

>>3885893
Indeed. The marching order into the barrow is us, and then Marty behind us. Marty shall spend his time looking for acceptable stones, and holding our glorious stones.

>>3885883
>>3885893
>>3885889

As Marty is carrying your rocks, he follows behind you so that he may pass them foreward into your awaiting sling hand.

You descend into the barrow via the rope ladder. Moments later, Marty follows you. As he does, the rope ladder snaps, sending him crashing to the ground.

He is unhurt, but it appears that you will not be able to leave the way that you came. Even if you stood on Marty's shoulds and tried to use your walking stick, tied to all your clothes, tied to your sling, it still would not be long enough to pull you out of the hole.

JUMP IN THE HOLE,
Courage Wolf.jpg
LADDERS ARE FOR PUSSIES!

I grow bored. Enter into the barrow with heroic Matry by my side!

All around you is dungeon. Marty begins to assess the floor for rocks, but is fumbling around a little. He complains that it is dark, but oddly you can see as clear as day.

You are now aware that you possess Darkvision. As you're an average human man, you deduce that this must be the effect of the mystery potion you drank earlier.

Available exits :

N S E

>>3885908

I cast Light.

It's dark, you make it bright.Adventuring 101.

If I can, I make it a low intensity light - for maximum duration, no need have TOO much brightness- we have two sets of eyes. Oh, and I look up a lot.

>>3885915
I think you mean advice dog.jpg

I enchant my walking stick with light. Proceed forward!

>>3885930

...you're welcome, boyos.

>>3885932
Marty doesnt have darkvision, either.

>>3885932
>>3885935
FUCK LIGHT, WE HAVE DARKVISION!

CANCEL LIGHT CANCEL LIGHT!

Also, go North. Always north.

>>3885945
No, our BRAVE STONEGRIPPER has NO such darkvision- in fact, we should alight one of his stones, so that he might bash his light into his foes!

>>3885955
>>3885935
>>3885945
>>3885932

Do you wish to :

Cast Light
Cast Light on your Stick
Cast Light on Marty's Rock
Do not cast Light

>>3885902
Sir, you have made me fall out of my chair laughing. This was easily the funniest thing I've read on 4chan in atleast a week. That beats even Dorf Quest. I lol'd heartily and fully and for that I present you with +5 internets and a coupon for a buy one get one free entree and Denny's.

>>3885930
After casting light, possibly on the walking stick, proceed north, for north is the direction of ADVENTURE!

>>3885961
Why the fuck would I use a wish spell to emulate a light spell?

>>3885961

Cast Light on Marty

>>3885961
Light on stick!

Light up a rock for Marty, and head west as though I know what I'm doing.

(Also, is it spell points/unlimited/Vancian?)

>>3885961

Light on the stick!

Cast light, for the Slingdom requires stones, and only Marty can find them.

Cast light on Marty's pet rock, so he may more accurately find stones.

>>3885978
Once per adventure! Cast Light, low magnitude for max duration as said above, on stick proceed North.

>>3885955
Fine, cast liight on the stick, and walk away. You can always drop the stick mid battle or pass it to STONEGRIPPER for safe keeping.

>>3885961
Cast light on Marty's rock.

For he shall be Marty Stonegripper, the Bringer of Light.

>>3885985
No! For he is not the stickgripper! Cast it upon a stone. We do not need the light!

>>3885988
Agreed. STONEGRIPPER shall LIGHT OUR WAY!

>>3885974
>>3885970
>>3885935

You expend your solitary casting of Light onto your Walking Stick. It now glows eerily, and casts light in a five foot radius around the stick itself.

Marty is awed, and now stays within the circle of light. You proceed North.

You stumble across a giant rat!

Marty shrieks.

Fight
Items
Magic
Run
Bribe

>>3885998
Awww. I wanted Marty to have the stone of light.
Man, I think it's funny how we wnt Marty to be even more epic than our nameless self.

SLING STONES AT RAT. SLING STOOOONNNEESSS!

>>3886006
The King of Sling needs only to sling this rat once!

FIGHT!

I bribe the rat with gold.

>>3886007
Nameless self? We are playing the Sling King!

>>3886006
FIGHT! I take one of my stones, gird myself with valor and spin it with my swing and I let go furiously, as my muscles exert with power the force necessary to crush the rat in twain, it's brain matter sprayed along the wall like a glorius decoration commemorating bloodshed!

>>3886007
I propose we name ourself! How about Fattus Guyus, King of the Slingdom, Bearer of the Magic Stick, Seer of the Dark.

>>3886016
>>3886011

Marty hurriedly passes you a rock from your arsenal. You fire!

Roll a 1d6.

rolled 2 = 2

>>3886029

'ERE WE GO

>>3886028
No, we are simply the Sling King. There is no name more glorious than the Sling King.

rolled 2 = 2

>>3886029

>>3886032

STOP ROLLING DICE

>>3886006

Bribe!

rolled 1 = 1

>>3886032
>>3886040
>2
>2
FFFFUUU-

>>3886037
True, but having nicknames and titles is cool.
RATSLAYER shall be our new one!

jesus why can't we roll high in this thread

rolled 2 = 2

>>3886032

You hit the giant rat in the side with a rock! The rat chitters angrily!

rolled 3 = 3

>>3886051

The giant rat attacks Marty!

>>3886048
We hit the rat though. Maybe rolling low is good?

>>3886051
Chitter back, in the language of the rats. Tell him to return to his rat hovel lest he find himself slung again.

>>3886051
Now finish it!
Take with valor the stick of LIGHT!

AND DRIVE IT GLORIOUS RAGE TOWARDS THE ENEMY!

RAT shall be driven from our sight to oblivion!

>>3886047
When we have earned titles, we shall add them. But for now, we are simply the Sling King.

>>3886059
We must defend our subject, no matter the cost. Such is the responsibility of a King to his people.

>>3886051
>>3886059
>>3886065

Marty has suffered a minor injury.

Fight
Items
Magic
Run
Bribe

>>3886051

Fight some more

>>3886081
VENGEANCE!

WE SHALL FIGHT.

>>3886081
It clearly wants another taste of sling, and only the Sling King can adequately hand out such morsels! Sling him again!

Can somebody archive this please? I have to go now, but this thread has given me a lot of laughs and it'd be a shame to see it go.

>>3886081
The rat is weakened, now, strike with hate in our heart!

I take my stick and swing it full throttle at it's face, lest it's hatefull shenanigans harm our subject again!

rolled 2 = 2

>>3886112

GENTLEMEN.

rolled 6 = 6

>>3886117
I hereby declare that this man no longer rolls for us.

>>3886117

>Marty hands you another *EDIT*rock*EDIT*, looking into your eyes with hope. The weight of this rock somehow feels heavy with importance.

>You fire!

Didn't mean sling the first time. I'm tired.

You strike the rat once again, this time with a sickening crunch.

You have slain a giant rat!

Marty appears to be a little bolder.

>>3886117
We have clearly hit the rat so hard that it has been cast back in time to a point before we struck it, causing a small paradox that the universe has locked away for safety.

>>3886133
Pick up the giant rat, tie it by the tail to the walking stick, to ward off future rats.

>>3886133
"You have done well this day, Marty. You have served your King with honour and couragously performed your duty in the face of danger."

>>3886147
>>3886157

The rat is the size of a large dog. This is unfeasible.

Marty beams with pride, and recollects the rocks. They are somewhat reddened and sticky with rat blood now.

>>3886181
Is it still unfeasable, even if the rat on a stick is supported over the shoulder, like a hobo-stick?

>>3886181

Drink the rat's blood to gain its spirit power.

>>3886181
"Marty, this shall be our dinner.! We must cook it throughly, as I'm sure your mother educated you on cleaning and purging toxins from meats.But for now, carry it, for we might need to rest soon."

>>3886198
Yes, for the rat's tenacity would be useful!

Wait! Bottle the rat's blood in empty mystery potion vial instead! For later consumption.

>>3886202
>>3886189

Do you wish to hogtie the giant rat's corpse to the glowing walking stick and carry it between you and Marty? Note that doing so will not allow him to expediently pass you rocks, or collect additional rocks.

Y/N

>>3886202
Matry may not carry a rat, for it is not a stone.

>>3886222
No. Marty may only carry stones, not rat-sticks.

>>3886216

You fill your empty bottle with rat blood, and stopper it. Marty has to avert his eyes.

Shall we kill and eat marty?

>>3886235
You dirty bastard! Marty is our first and most loyal subject, he shall live forever!

>>3886222
N

>>3886235
VERY N

I take back that I said we should kill and eat marty. I apoligize. So shall we make a hat for marty out of the rat?

>>3886222
Sure, we can always drop the rat-stick when combat begins as free action, and it will still iluminate the radious around the stick for Marty's sake, and allow him to pass rocks expediently.

You decide to leave the giant rat's corpse where it is, and proceed down the remainder of the northern corridor.

You reach a fork in the corridor.

You can go left, down a misty hall way; or,

You can go right, to a tall stone wall set with three oak doors.

>>3886245
I agree with this. Marty's rat-hat is acceptable.

>>3886251
Left, for the cool mist shall cool our aching joints.

Shall we venture right?

>>3886268
No, left. The mist is inviting us.

I say we venture left. However shall we take time to make a rat hat for marty?

>>3886281
We do not have the tools needed to do so.

First we must gather tresure, then we can return to town with the giant rat and properly hire a tanner and milliner.

>>3886281
It is too late, I think. The rat is left behind, and to turn back from the mist now would be cowardly.

>>3886260
>>3886273
>>3886281

You head left. As you progress down the hallway, it gets colder, and mistier. Marty sticks closer to you, as this environment proves poor for stone searching.

You can heard a susurrous slurping noise further ahead.

We are not cowards! Shall we venture forth and find glory for ourselves. I suggest we have Marty sing of our greatness

>>3886291
*hear

fffffffff

>>3886291
Put our arm around Marty, and assure him that what is ahead of us is a true adventurer's dream. For soon, we shall defeat a monster, and save the townspeople. All the wenches will know of our deeds, and shall pay attention to us, and stuff. It'll be great.

>>3886249

I say " Come FORTH, Beast! Come and meet the Sling KING, your doom!"

And I start winging my swing for extra prepped momentum for danger.

We shall sing a song of epicness for our friend Marty.

>>3886312
>>3886308
>>3886304

You are about to regale Marty with a reassuring song involving wenches, treasure, and slings, when he points further down the hall.

It appears as though there is a helmet, and a sword, floating in the mist and sashaying from side to side.

We command marty to get the equipment.

>>3886323
Assure Marty that this happens all the time. Helmets and swords are well known to float when confronted with mist.

Marty replies "But master I am scared" please "regal me with a tune again and we shall enter battle"

>>3886308
I say " A foe most worthy, dungeon! But it shall avail you for naught!" And I attack, my sling shooting it's payload towards then helm.

>>3886344
We are so awesome

>>3886331
IN THESE DAMP CONDITIONS?

I believe we should trust in the sling. Or perhaps attempt to speak with the sashaying figure. Perhaps it desires to dance.

rolled 6 = 6

>>3886344
Floating sword and helm is probably immune to petty stones. We must kill it with fire.

>>3886353
No! Perhaps we can bribe it with a vial of rat blood.

rolled 2 = 2

>>3886352
Perhaps you are right. Talk then.

It dies!

>>3886353
>>3886352
>>3886344
>>3886333

You reassure Marty that you have this shit totally under control.

Do you wish to :

Attack
Items
Magic

Or propose alternate.

>>3886366
What killed it?

>>3886366
Fail imposter DM is fail.

>>3886343
I slap Marty should he really say such weak things.

I tell him "Get a hold of yourself, Marty! For a far greater nightmare awaits us, and no song or dance can truly assuage the fear that lies in your heart! Only by testing ourselves in true battle can we defeat our demons, and in doing so, we will know a greater glory you could have ever known!"

And I attack!

>>3886367
Is it approaching?

>>3886371
Pay attention to the bold lettering where the non-bolded tripcode should be.

>>3886367
Talk to it and attempt to reason with it. Tell it of the glory to be of the Slingdom and offer it a place by your side.

Social Combat?

>>3886378
Seconded!

>>3886367

{S}educe.

It's clearly female.

Or enough of a pretty boy it doesn't matter.

Challenge it to a drinking contest!

Third for social Combat

noko

>>3886389
We are NOT the "Word King!"!

We are the SLING KING!

And we will live by the SLING or DIE by the Sling! And in that glorious moment where fate deals us our final breath, all the heavens will know that there was never NO compromise, and NO hesitation!

WE SLING!

>>3886352
>>3886373
>>3886378
>>3886361

You decide to talk, and then attack if this fails.

Your words of greeting and warning are not met with caution. As the slurping noise grows closer, you can now see that the helmet and sword are stuck in the center of a jiggling cube.

You have encountered a gelatinous cube!

Attack with sling? Y/N

You win we are the Sling King!

We shall attack and Win and then we will make marty a geletanious hat!

>>3886411
We shall fill that cube with more stones than it has ever witnessed in its cubey life!

>>3886404

NO Compromise! NO quarter! And we shall sling without fear!

I attack!

>>3886411
Perhaps fire would be more effective. We would look most foolish if we hit the cube with a rock, accomplishing nothing but a wet popping noise and a suspended bit of stone.

I attack !

>>3886411

FFF no!

Magic firedart. Keep backing up. How many times can we fire magic firedarts?

>>3886404
One must appreciate what it MEANS to be the Sling King. One must be wholly dedicated to the way of slingery. One must be themselves, like a sling.

Do you think that stones are the only thing that can be cast forth from a sling? No, Sir, for we ARE the Sling King, the greatest sling that ever was, and we shall cast words like bullets upon our enemies until they are broken.

>>3886430
There is nothing in this world that cannot be killed by enough stones!

>>3886422
>>3886426
>>3886428

Marty quickly hands you a stone, which you lob into the gelatinous cube with great vigor!

The gelatinous cube continues its slow, wobbling approach. There is a wet popping noise and a suspended stone next to the helmet and sword now.

We shall feed marty to the cube! Wait Marty attack!

>>3886439
>>3886436
>>3886428

You feel embiggened with your over-all slingery, even if it has had no impact on the cube yet.

Perhaps we could fall back and feed the giant rat corpse to the cube?

If its hunger is satiated, perhaps we can pass it by.

>>3886443
Man, totally called it.

Throw flames at it while falling back slowly.

>>3886436
A SLING is a weapon!

It is a tool for long range destruction! It's primary purpose is to use centrifugal force generate by our arms to strike at foes with such force and pinpoint accuracy!

It is meant for slaying,crushing and maiming!

And the KING of SLINGS shall know naught but the SLING...and the Stone.

Let us kill the cube and find some wenches!

>>3886456

That's a fine lookin' sling.

>>3886463

Then we shall fill it with so many stones that it will know true FEAR!

It is a good day to die!

I strike with my damned slinged rocks!

>>3886473
Yes, we back up slinging stone after stone at the cube!

Magic Missle!

ALL things fall! And thus with enough movement, dodging and weaving from the SLOW and cumbersome Gelatinous Cube, we shall strike enough times with our Sling that it too, shall know terror, and never again eat one more stone!

We sling!

>>3886473
>>3886476

You and Marty both proceed backwards down the hall that you came from, as you cry havoc and let loose the sling of war.

By the time you reach the intersection once again, you have filled the gelatinous cube with all seven stones. It is wobbling erratically as it is now incredibly top heavy.

>>3886482
More stones!

SLINGS FOR THE SLING KING, STONES FOR THE STONE THRONE!

>>3886482
Quickly run back to our rat corpse, return to the cube and throw it at the top of the cube! It will be even top-heavier!

Place rat corpse between self and cube. Sling more stones.

The gelatinous cube is slowly approaching.

You can :

Back up into the main corridor.

Back up to the right towards the three wooden doors.

Marty advises you that he is out of rocks. A quick estimation deems that the only things left you could feasibly sling at the gelatinous cube includes (in order of consideration) :

2 gold coins
A pouch
A glowing walking stick
A bottle of rat blood
Marty's clothes
Your clothes
Marty
Yourself
The sling itself

>>3886499
>>3886509
Ratmind.

>>3886482
BAH! The SLING KING shall KNOW no Fear!

I run towards the rat, grab it's tail with my sling for propper grip, and use gyrating momentum, as a SPIN and let LOSE the biggest RAT Missle the KING shall know!

>>3886511
Throw FIRE at it, damn it. We can make little slingy motions if it'll make us feel better.

Ok, maybe its time for a fire dart.

>>3886516
>>3886499
>>3886509

You and Marty quickly double back onto the hall you came from, and lift up the rat together.

Roll a 1d20 for improvised rat missile.

Marty's Clothes!

>>3886499
>>3886516
THIS.

We ARE the sling and the rat shall be our stone.

rolled 10 = 10

>>3886525

rolled 14 = 14

>>3886525

rolled 13 = 13

>>3886525
Come one!

>>3886511
AWW yeah, 3 good rolls.

>>3886530
Huzzah!

We shall divide by ZERO!

WE SHALL DEFEAT THIS ACCURSED CUBE WITH SHEER SLINGING!

THE RAT MISSLES SHALL PREVAIL!

Fire FTW!

>>3886535

The rat flies true, its stiff body landing on the top of the gelatinous cube. The cube is no longer able to support its shape, and suddenly pitches backwards violently.

A caustic splash of gelatinous goo showers the walls, the ceiling, and the floor, coming short just of Marty and yourself.

The helmet and the sword land on the ground with a clang. Your stones have been reduced to nothing but mist.

>>3886565
Shall Marty wear a helmet?

Upon using himself as a giant sling and slinging the huge rat at the Gelatinous Cube, the Sling King realizes that he should make more stones and different kinds of them for different occasions.

For example, buying a few Alchemist Fires and Holy Waters might be a good idea.They too can be slinged.

Let us hire another person to carry and use the sword!

>>3886565
VICTORY!

The Sling King believed in the impossible. And he knew he would win.Victory for the SlingvKingdom!

(At this point a new thread is in order!)

>>3886573
Keep in mind, The Sling King still holds his most secret and powerful weapon, the rat blood.

Marty is sad, as he cannot fulfill his duty as there are no stones to carry.

There is a longsword here.
There is a steel helmet here.

Exits include South, North (Branches to Misty Corridor and Three-Door Wall)

>>3886602
Remind Marty that, while he may not be gripping stones now, his duties are still important. None but he can truly find the stones that the Sling King requires!

>>3886602
I tell Marty to not despair. For rocks are plentyfull, and we shall search.

I take a 20 and look for plenty of rocks with him. Marty cant be the STONEGRIPPER without stones.

Give Marty the sword, and tell him that his stone-passing ability has convinced me to promote him to Bodyguard.

Wear the helm, making sure to get all the goop out first.

rolled 18 = 18

Roll for new rocks. Equip sword, give marty helmet.

CONTINUED HERE

>>3886655

>>3886644
bodyguard is not a promotion from Stonegripper.