4 days after killing Glittergold, Beardbeard... sits in a bar, with no real change to much of anything at all. Well, now what?

>>3912884
Go to nearest Glittergold temple. Rub their faggotty elf noses in the fact you killed their god and replaced him with SATAN.

Drink more.

>>3912907
>>3912917
Combine these two.

go on quest to make Vestigial Wings into fully functional wings. While doing >>3912907 and >>3912917

>>3912907
The nearest such temple is in Aordor! And destroyed. You have no idea where another such temple might be. Maybe the elven city?

>>3912917
Regardless, more alcohol is always a good solution!

>>3912955
Spin a bottle or something, go in the direction it faces. Fuck shit up along the way, gain awesome reputation as a wandering apocalypse.

>>3912952
And back to our dilemma of 2 weeks ago: How?

>>3912973
... ask Satan?

>>3912973
See
>>3912968
Awesome things always happen to awesome people.

Go to Aordor and Stop the Arm.

>>3912968
Sounds effective enough!

>>3913000
Fuck that, "BEARDBEARD GODSLAYER, THE WANDERING APOCALYPSE" > doing something pussy like stopping something of your OWN GOD'S DOING.

>>3913011
The street urchin kicks the bottle!

>>3913029
Intimidate check on the youngin'.

>>3913029
Mumble angry and loud gibberish while staring the fuck out of that punk kid.

>>3913029
"What are you, dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am?"

"I'M THE GODDAMN ELF KING."

Find LAWFUL GOOD Dorf Warrior! Add to party, watch the whacky lack of chemistry between him and Beardbeard!

>>3913059
>>3913064
>Intimidate check!

The kid laughs. You notice her shirt is huge on her.

>>3913087
No! You will be mob and kill by Dorfs!

>>3913098
Cleave her asunder with the Two Handed Axe of the Pit.

>>3913098
Bash her head into the side walk, how dare she laugh at you!

>>3913098
Smack her around a bit.

She's a kid. She should know her fucking place.

>>3913098
Ready for battle! There is more to her than meets the eye!

>>3913103
Them Dorfs don't know Garrelf's a Shadar-kai. Cause mob anyway! Slaughter everyone who attacks!

>>3913120
>>3913116
>>3913109
BeardBeard is mean but he wouldn't hit a child. It's against his Dorfen Honor.

GET ARRESTED FOR BRUTALLY ASSAULTING A KID

THEN ESCAPE AND BEAT HER EVEN MORE

What is beardbeards alignment? Cus beating up a kid for kicking a bottle is a bit low. And despite her intervention, the bottle is still facing a direction is it not? In fact, because of the totally random kick it is facing an even MORE random direction than it would have otherwise. I say we continue on with the original plan.

>>3913142
Since when the hell did Beardbeard have honor?

>>3913109
>>3913116
>>3913120
>Violence!

The child laughs as she is cleaved in half, and fades away before your eyes.

>>3913142
Obviously you don't know much about dorf temper

Throw the child against the nearest wall, and spin the bottle once more. Or, just spin around until you get dizzy and fall down, and go in the direction your head is pointing

>>3913175
Pray to Satan. Ask what's up.

>>3913175
FFFFFFFFFFFFFF
okay...who did we piss off?

>>3913173
He killed the Fae God for Pride, Honor, Ale, and Beard!

>>3913193
This, but also ask for crazy powers in order to find her, make her corporeal and keep it that way, so we can beat the crap out of her.

Yes, we should go that far just because of a bottle. Even if Garelf is half-fuckwit and it was a minor incident, Beardbeard doesn't take shit from nobody.

The laughing doesn't stop when the illusions fades. In fact, it seems to be getting louder. Beardbeard wonders what exactly is-

>>3913235
-Ow.

FUCK YES DORF QUEST! I SHALL JOIN BEARDBEARD ON HIS QUEST TO DRUNKNESS.

I love you Gnome!

>>3913206
Guy who made that post here.

Pride, Axe, Beer and Beard.

>>3913204
Nemelex. Possibly another God who was Glittergold's friend/mate.

>>3913242
Uh oh.

Someone's going for GODSLAYERSLAYER.

Start whirl winding with your fuckhuge axe.

>>3913242
Use DORF SENSE to locate child and double team it with Garelf.

>>3913264
Yes, also what the fuck is our exelf friend doing?

>>3913235
Illusion. Call out to Xom for clarity.

...

Wait, no, that's not a good idea at all.

>insane laughter

GODDAMIT XOM

>>3913242
Swing the axe behind you, and breathe fire while turning around.

Also ask for Xom's wise advice.

GO LEFT

In between laughter, while Beardbeard struggles not to fall from the crippling blow, the girl says "Attacking a child! Hahahaaa! I live to kill bastards like you!"

>>3913294
SO HER NAME IS NEVADA?

>>3913294
>Nevada
>hoodie
>box-cutter
Son. of. a. bitch.

>>3913294
God damn, THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS /tg/! Why'd you attack the little girl?

>>3913294
Ask her for her name. So you can make her tombstone with your stone masonry and promptly deface it with your AXE.

>>3913306
Because we're jealous. We wanted to be the little girl!

Have Garrelf backstab. Without Beardbeard knowing about it.

>>3913294
Point out that you're quite dead already. Or rather undead.

FUCK LOGIC

REJECT HER REALITY AND ASSUME SHE'S CORPOREAL

BERSERK

Before either of you can start fighting, Musclebeard picks the both of you up.

>>3913334
OH SHIT. Musclebeard is actually going to do something!

>>3913334
wait wat

>>3913334
He seems to remember quite clearly what happened last time you fought inside his establish. Musclebeard shouts "If ye fight in my bar again, ye're banned for life, Godslayer!"

>>3913294
Explain the difference between a stern, intimidating, scolding and an attack. Then tell her she antagonized a drunk Dorf which is a bad idea anyways. Kill if she attacks again.

>>3913362
GET UP AND CATCH THE CHILD MID AIR.

CAN'T DODGE ME NOW BITCH.

>>3913373
yes

>>3913362
Duel the child at dawn. Prepare yourself, i.e. get sufficiently drunk, beforehand.

Important note to self: Remember to not fight inside Musclebeard's bar

Let's not compromise something as important as drinking because of a stupid kid.

Okay, proceed.

>>3913368
>Explain self

She hears out your explanation, and laughs. "Sorry, kid, but that was clearly violent. I'd've died if I hadn't been prepared. First rule of the Goldmoon Slayers - identify that the target is actually evil before completing the mission, and you proved it all right."

>>3913416
>Goldmoon

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

>>3913416
...Oh fuck. Goldmoon.

>>3913416
Inquire as to what or who Goldmoon is. We may know, but Beardbeard doesn't.

Garrelf arrives.

>>3913416
Rage then go in swinging.

>>3913416
There's a bounty on our head?

Cooooooooooool.

>>3913460
Ask her a question: "If I'm so evil, then WHY'S THE GODDAMN KING OF ELVES TRAVELLING WITH ME?"

>>3913460
Tell him to back off. This one's yours.

Throw axe in the sky as a distraction. Subtle telekinesis on her box cutter to yank it to you.

>>3913460
excuse me what

>>3913461
Cause that worked great the first time.

>>3913482
Stone of Ious her shit, melt the weapons with yer mind!

>>3913460
USE CRYSTAL EYE

or USE TELEKINESIS TO DUEL WIELD IRON AXE AND AXE OF THE PIT

>>3913459
also clue in the people who haven't been paying attention

>>3913485
We know what to expect now.

Tell the runt that to insult a dwarf, even if it is just mocking laughter, is a grave offense to the dwarf, and his honor demands he strike the offender.

She needs to brush up on her dwarven culture.

Don't attack, apologize for striking a child and ask what the Goldmoon assassigns want with him.

>>3913504
This actually sounds plausible!

ROLL FOR BLUFF!

>>3913504
the whole bottle kicking bit beforehand was clearly an attempt to pick a fight. if this is how this assassin determines if someone is good or evil, it's a pretty shitty method (albiet this time accidentally correct).

GO LEFT

>>3913461
>>3913482
There is no talking this through, she's after blood. Beardbeard is more than willing to give it. He asks Garrelf to step back, this fight is mine - Garrelf has no complaints.

Beardbeard enters BERSERKER RAGE and attacks! For a split second, he sees her dash into his blind side as the blow slices through "her"!

>>3913541
>>3913504
these

>>3913547
she seems far too dodgy! attack a horizontal plane rather than a vertical one!

Horizontal swings! That way its harder for her to dodge left or right!

>>3913547
REFLEX

>>3913547
BLOCK AND PARRY! BLOCK AND PARRY!

USE TELEKINESIS TO DUEL WIELD YOUR IRON AXE AND THE AXE OF THE PIT!

>>3913566
>>3913565
Horizontal mind? Wow.

Block with your arm! Force her to try and wrench the blades from your superdwarvenlytough arm, and then hack at her!

>>3913568
I haven't seen telekinesis since around thread 2. Do we even still have it?

>>3913565
>>3913566
>>3913567
Hard swing left, after her!

She keeps laughing - she really enjoys fighting, it seems. "Where ARE you looking?"

>>3913547
Use the enviroment to your advantage! If there's any of advantageous terrain around.

>>3913591
Everyone miraculously remembered it the instant it became useful.

>>3913596
Stone of Ious, melt her weapons!

>>3913596

Axe of the Pit horizontally, Normal Axe (via telekinesis) vertically! She can't escape that!

>>3913591
Yes, but it can't be used offensively, so people seem to assume when I draw things floating around him that I'm being lazy. Well, I am, but that's his telekinesis acting up - its still very weak though.

>>3913596
Make her a better offer! Offer her twice her payment if she goes for Goldmoon instead!

>>3913596
FFFFFFFFFFF too fucking fast. wait for an attack, grab her arm when she stabs you, then twist off one of her legs like a drumstick off a chicken.

FUCK THIS SHIT.

SLAM THE AXE INTO THE GROUND AND ENRAGED WHIRLWIND.

>>3913610
>>3913611

...Shit. Nevermind then. DORF RAGE GO.

>>3913596
>Hard swing
That's the problem.

You need a fast swing.

>>3913612
we have 25 gold! We killed a god! Do you have any idea what kind of bounty we must have at this point?

>>3913596
Wait for he to strike then grab her.

>>3913624
"Offering" and "giving" are two different things.

Either Goldmoon kills her, or she comes back a lot later demanding her payment, giving us time to prepare.

GO LEFT

SLAM THE AXE INTO THE GROUND. YOU DESTROYED A MOUNTAIN WITH A HORIZONTAL SLICE, A VERTICAL SLICE WOULD KICK A SHITLOAD OF DUST.

YOU CAN WHIRLWIND AT THAT POINT. SINCE EVERYTHING IS A WEAPON, WE'LL SLICE THE AIR ITSELF WITH THE DUST.

>>3913610
>>3913619
>>3913623
>>3913621
ENRAGED WHIRLWIND GO! Floating your regular axe, you take the Axe of the Pit for a spin!

She stops laughing, as you turn directly into a needle at eye level.

she's running all over the place, too fast for singular targeted strikes.

Solution? Hit everything at once.

DEFORESTATION GO.

>>3913671
oh this can't end well

>>3913671
FFFFF THATS TWO EYES WE LOST.

HOW ARE WE LOSING, WE KILLED A FREAKING GOD...CALL FOR GARRELF, WE NEED SPEEEEEEED FOR THIS

>>3913671

call her fat

>>3913671
DON'T LET THAT NEEDLE STOP YOU.

CHOP THAT FUCKER IN HALF.

PLUG THE GODDAMN CONTROLLER INTO CONTROLLER PORT 2

>>3913671
needle at eye level? use the gem in your eyesocket to destroy it!
continue with plan of engraged whirlwind.

>>3913691
>call for Garrelf

Fuck no.

>Deforestation

Fuck yes.

>>3913669
DO EET

CAUSE AN EARTHQUAKE

HAVE HER FALL THROUGH A CRACK STRAIGHT DOWN TO HELL AND DIE

Duck and keep swinging!

>>3913675
>DEFORESTATION

I love you.

Beardbeard is now blind.

"You are rather pathetic prey. Relying on nothing but strength and toughness to move ahead... you never defend. Pathetic. But, you need to die, so its alright, I suppose." Nevada says.

>>3913735
BLIND-FIGHT!

YOU TOOK BLIND-FIGHT FEAT, DIDN'T YOU?

>>3913735
BREATH FOUR.
EVERYWHERE

>>3913735
SLAM THE AXE INTO THE GROUND.

IT'S GO TIME.

>>3913735
Start attacking blindly, in every direction, with everything you have!

>>3913735
channel your RAGE to your EARS, develop ENRAGED SONAR to HEAR where she is so you can AXE her many questions.

>>3913735

Stab your wooden leg through her foot while she's giving monologue about how pathetic you are.

ADRENALINE TIME

BREATHE FIRE, USE DEFORESTATION, CRUSH THE GROUND

ROW ROW FIGHT NEVADA

>>3913735
Gargh, so fucking stupid, so many choices and we get a bunch of "lol vertical slash" WE CAN BREATH A DEATH BEAM, HAVE A METAL MELTING GEM FOR AN EYE, WHY AREN"T WE USING THEM

Calm yourself. Listen for her strike and then counter.

>>3913767
What do you think that beard stands for? MONK?

>>3913765
Dumb ass, it melts ROCKS! Not metal!

>>3913772
I'm sure it can melt little girls too.

>>3913767
"Goodbye, Godslayer."

You calm yourself down. She has to strike eventually. Her blows may be accurate, but they have no strength behind them. You can handle this.

Wait for her to hit us, then grab her when we know where she is! I don't think she's fast, it's something else!

>>3913749
>>3913760
Rage does not work that way.

>>3913789
>calm down

Jumped the shark. Dorfside was never supposed to be serious.

>>3913770
BeardBeard should realize that brute force got him nowhere. Since he's blind he need to sense her some other way.

>>3913789
DE

FOR

ES

TA

TION

loot everything... only thing here is the needles.

>>3913789
wield your 2h axe of pit by holding it with both telekinesis and 1 hand, use other hand to grab her stabbing arm, lop it off.

Use telekinesis to feel where she is, avoid next attack, and AXE TO FACE

>>3913795
Garrelf decides Beardbeard's being retarded, and decides to step in. Control has switched to Garrelf - Beardbeard in his current state is essentially an unchecked force of nature waiting to happen, and Garrelf isn't going to let him loose.

>>3913789

>>3913842
I'm sorry but... what? Did... did she just try to headbutt us? Without a helmet? Fuck, didn't we kill a hydra by headbutting it because it wasn't wearing a helmet?

>>3913837
Engage Shadar-kai ass kicking mode. Then restrain and question your opponent.

>>3913837
FUCK YEAH GARRELF

GARRELF HAS MONEYS BECAUSE HE'S KING

DO >>3913612

As for Beardbeard, DEVELOP TREMORSENSE FROM BEING A DORF AND WORKING WITH EARTH FOR SO MUCH, PIC RELATED

>>3913842
>Insomnia

wot

>>3913860
insomnia knows how to mimic gnome's style. you just lost the game.

>>3913884
He's also a pretty cool guy

>>3913860
>>3913880
lololo not my pic.

>>3913797
Beardbeard uses DEFORESTATION! He... hits nothing in particular.

>>3913875
Garrelf offers a bribe. His opponent doesn't seem to be listening.

>>3913907
shadow rush again!

She makes an offer!

Also, for the kids at home, Garrelf can tell she's not actually a kid - she's a halfling.

>>3913907

>>3913907
Question her.

>>3913907
her back is turned! snap her neck like a twig!
if her back is no longer turned, teleport behind her, then snap her neck like a twig!

>>3913907
Garelf, stop the persuasion and think. She can dodge like fucking hell but can be distracted under the right circumstances.

HOW CAN YOU MAKE HER STAY WITH HER GUARD DOWN FOR ONE SECOND?

>>3913938
Tell her you've made your choice: "You dishonor me for making such an offer."

>>3913938
She killed the fun of Dorfside.

Kill her in a gruesome way.

CALL HER FAT

>>3913968
FUCK SHE CARES, FAT IS FOR HALFLINGS WHAT BEARD IS FOR DORFS

Accept her offer, at a price(it wouldn't be very smart of her to just assume we would let her kill our friend after we already sucker punched her). when she goes to finish her job, SURPRISE ATTACK HER AGAIN!

>>3913962
>>3913963
>>3913921
You make your answer quite clear.

She barely dodges.

Funny thing: Since we killed Glittergold, Garelf doesn't have a god to assist him, and we all know that Xom won't be THAT helpful if we fail to amuse him, but Glittergold would be all like "Here, have a mask, THANKS I COULD HELP BRO"

Isn't the world just hilarious?

>>3914031
...what the fuck are you smoking, Beardbeard would never worship such a pansy and fae loving god...me thinks you're thinking of satan bucko

>>3914028
Shadow Rush

Can't dodge midair.

>>3914041
He was talking about Garrelf, learn2read

>>3914041

and me thinks you're illiterate

>>3914028
feign another attack, then do the teleport 1 punch thing when she's mid-dodge.

Ok guys.

I think we know what we have to do with Beardbeard.

Clearly, being strong and tough isn't always effective in a fight.

BUT THE FUCKING THING ABOUT EFFECTIVENESS IS THAT NO MATTER WHAT IT CONTRIBUTES IN THE SLIGHEST BIT.

WE MUST ASK SATAN FOR THE ABILITY TO BE TOUGHER AND STRONGER. AGILITY IS FOR PUSSIES.

>>3914060
WHO NEEDS TO GET A DIRECT HIT ON SOMETHING IF YOU OBLITERATE EVERYTHING WITHIN 20 FEET OF YOUR STRIKE? FUCK YEAR!

>>3914045
>>3914055
Okay this is getting annoying.

oh mai.

>>3914087
Stop hitting where she is. Hit where she WILL be next.

>>3914087
elfs have keen vision, see through her illusions and use elf-mind to stab at where you can predict her movements, or say fuck it and throw the dorf

>>3914087
Let her come to you.

>>3914087
she always dodges to behind you! carefully lead her towards beardbeard, do an attack where behind you would be within range of beardbeard's SPHERE OF AXENIGHILATION

>>3914087
*checks ability card* Worst nightmare? do it.

>>3914091
Nightmare...NIGHTMARE! use it, before we're turned into pincushions

It's not speed. Look back when we first cleaved her in two, in the bar. It seems more to me like she's pulling some illusionist shit.

>>3914110
>>3914113
WORST NIGHTMARE activated!

>>3914113
bra, we're wearing a box full of needles on each arm already.

>>3914077
YOU CAN'T DODGE THAT.

OUR MISSION IS CLEAR. SO CLEAR, I MADE A FLOWCHART

Insomnia's fanart is starting to get creepy...

>>3914163
you have to admit it's a good idea though

Garrelf is surrounded by dozens of Nevadas (mostly not shown due to time constraints)! They all seem to be laughing. And all seem to be armed. "Each of these blows is completely real - you'll never dodge them all!"

>>3914188
What, so they're ALL real?

That simplifies matters! Just beat them all!

>>3914163

>>3914188
drop to the floor or jump straight up. then strike up/down respectively

"Fuck dodging." Garrelf says flatly.

Beardbeard: Become Dorfdevil.

>>3914188
Er... WORST NIGHTMARE does what?

>>3914216
now teleport and snap neck

Lawful Neutral here.

Her punishment will consist of one critical slash to the neck, the gouging of one eye, and the slicing of her Achilles Tendons so she can't do it again.

>>3914216
ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA

>>3914224
Garrelf is momentarily drained of the use of all shadow magic, due to overuse. But no matter, it got the job done. She doesn't seem to be moving.

Beardbeard is still raging, and attacking wildly.

>>3914216
Finish her and strike a badass pose.

>>3914246

do not let guard down.

be prepared to dodge, and carefully observe surroundings.

>>3914246
okay, walk to and snap neck.

call bullshit on halfling chick's logic.

She obviously just wanted to start a fight from the begining, Beardbeard was just going along with it.

>>3914246
Have Beardbeard give the finishing move. Guide him by your voice.

>>3914246
Tell him it's over and we need to get him a new eye.

>>3914232
Second.

And make her pay for that drink.

>>3914250
>>3914253
You cautiously approach the fallen foe. Someone intervenes.

"Miss Nevada!" She shouts, tears in her eyes.

>>3914278
>person weeping for the bitch that took an eye.

Excellent. She can WATCH.

>>3914278
...I knew it. She's a good guy, so OF COURSE SHE CAN'T DIE BECAUSE WE'LL ALL FEEL GUILTY

FUCK YOU GNOME

Okay, I'll play your game. Let's not kill her after all. We will let her live, instead, telling her: "If we were truly evil, why would we let you live"

>>3914284
yes, NO MERCY.

Thread's auto-sagean! Make a new one, Gnome!

OH BOY NO

YOU WERE GOING TO KILL BOTH OF US AND YOU STARTED IT ALL

FUCK MORALITY AND EMPATHY, KILL THE BITCH

>>3914284
>>3914293
>>3914306
Beardbeard may be evil, but Garrelf is a good guy. He won't go slaughtering people mercilessly, nor let Beardbeard do it.

Kill her. Then tell the new bitch "Tell your friends that this will be the fate of all who call us evil for being culturally provoked."

>>3914313
>former half-dorf out for revenge against all dorfdom for the rape of his village and his birth being the result

You people are assholes. We can't kill her. That's just wrong.

Suddenly, Nevada turns into liquor.

Beardbeard's dreams have been answered.

A good ending all around.

She's been defeated. That should be good enough for us. There's no honor nor glory in killing a disabled enemy.

>>3914331
y u do dis?

>>3914313
>but Garrelf is a good guy
"Hey Garrelf let's kill everyone in glittergold's temple lol"
"Hey Garrelf, it's so cool you're complacent about me destroying this town lol"
"Hey Garrelf, let's fuck shit up lol"

Haha, no.

>>3914322
>>3914339
FUCK YOU PEOPLE GARRELF IS AWESOME AND TOTALLY WON'T KILL INNOCENTS

New thread: >>3914354