Then the solution is simple: Everyone to the Thieves' Guild! Mado would have seemed to have restored her memory now anyway.

>>4045445
Why does she keep calling us kid? We have more beard than she'll ever have!

Tell her a trained monkey could take out the thieves guild.

Then laugh at her reaction and tell her you know what happened.

Point out that Fairy will keep us from doing anything to Mado (Mado let her out, IIRC) so yeah, no worries there.

>>4045445
>>4045491

Tell her what happened, and tell her you're trying to resurrect Goldmoon. And ask about the conspiracy as well.

>>4045491
>A trained monkey could take out the thieves guild!

"Its an assassin's guild."

>>4045539
"Then we'd need a trained UNDEAD monkey for that! But the point stands."

>>4045534

Yeah, I don't think Aldwin and Cultist filled him in on that. Besides, I don't think he would've been listening to that part.

>>4045539
Tell her of Aldwin. He'll want to be in on this too.

"Alright people, ye're slower'n molasses. I'm leaving this flat tire, Big Six. I'm gonna git a wiggle on down to that Fate joint."

Kav has left the party.

>>4045626
Aw.

The rest of us, Thieves Guild. Kav can handle herself.

>>4045626

"Gods damn it, now look what you've done with your blabber! Now we have to catch up with her!"

You know, depending on the amount of damage done to the assassin's guild, we may not have any reason to stick around here. As if, say, someone killed all of the higher-ups and blew up the building the guild was housed in, then what's the point in sticking around for the time being?

Once we finish restoring Mado's memories and bringing back Garelf we can deal with that now technially invalid bounty on our heads.

>>4045637
It's the ASSASSINS' guild.

>>4045626
Hey, some of us can't fly, Kav!

Nevada, we're leaving for the elven place. Mado can come or not; we don't really care. If she does, we'll stop by the temple of Fate to fix her memory. If she doesn't, we'll be sacking the temple of Yog for the glory of Xom.

>>4045664

Second this.

What's it gonna take for you to eat that gold? I mean, c'mon!

>>4045571
Nevada has come to a conclusion, based on the following information:

1) Nevada needs to watch Beardbeard
2) Nevada needs to watch Mado
3) Someone reliable/kind needs to take over the Goldmoon Slayers
4) Mado can't get her memory back just sitting around in the guildhall

Her conclusion: Make someone else in charge! "Aldwin! You're a goody good two shoes, you go be in charge of the Goldmoon Slayers for a bit!"

"Now that that's settled" Nevada continues "we can head on out."

>>4045689
She can't just delegate power like that.

Can she?

>>4045680

EYE LASER TO THE IMP, and then continue on towards the :shudder: eleven city.

>>4045698
Are you going to be the one who stops her?

>>4045698
She's the boss. Finlay and Lily's mother are deeeead.

>>4045698

Who gives a fuck, we're already slacking behind Keva, now let's move!

>>4045689
Can Aldwin handle the assassins for his own life? Not to mention threats for Lily and Cultist? That worried the shit out of Goldmoon too, and she was infinitely stronger than Aldwin.

>>4045698

Wasn't she former number two? With Goldmoon gone...

Damn. What a high powered party we have. Kings, leaders, and bosses.

>>4045715

Aldwin can handle himself just fine. Besides, this way next week's adventure might be political, conspiratorial, insanity. Should be fun.

>>4045698

You want to tell her otherwise?

Bitch will FUCK YOUR SHIT UP

Anyway now that that's settled we can go catch up with Kav and possibly begin deforesting the elven city depending on what happens. We'll call it Plan B.

>>4045715
Pffft. We'll handle that when it's Aldwin's turn. At the moment we have our own quests.

>>4045648
>Follow her!

Beardbeard and company head to Teven, city of Elves, under the rulership of Queen Arialla and King Garrelf. Beardbeard is once again forced to wait outside. Damn racist elves.

>>4045750

So who're we mainly controlling while inside? Nevada, or Keva?

>>4045750
I can't tell if it's raining or not. I'm not sure if those are trees. If it is rains those elves are real dicks leaving Beardbeard out in the rain like that.

>>4045756
Nevada is in charge 'cuz she's bigger.

Control has switched to Mado! You have just arrived at the temple of Fate.

>>4045756
Its Kav, but Keva is a cool name too.

>>4045750
>>4045766

Fucking elves. Beardbeard now has legitimate reason to wipe them out. Not that it matters to Beardbeard really, but he can use this reasoning to sway Nevada.

>>4045756

Both would be fun! Nevada to Yog, while Kev to Queen.

Gnome, is Nevada a Yog worshipper? She seems LG.

>>4045776
Locate priest. No need to tell him why we're here, I'm guessing he/she'll already know.

>>4045776
Well at least Mado's sexuality hasn't changed.

Anyway, inform the queen the news.

inb4 Gallerf having been here all along.

Head to the priest of Fate first. The sooner your head's fixed, the better you can kick some ass (somewhat).

>>4045769
But Mado's da biggest, and derefore she is da boss.

>>4045788
Priest located! The Hag of Fate informs you that your memories will be returned in the near future, and it is not her place to alter predetermined events. However, she can offer advice:

"Just keep asking..." is her cryptic reply.

>>4045836
Ask how her memory will be restored then.

>>4045836
TELL HER TO FUCK OFF AND STOP THE CRYPTIC BULLSHIT.

CRYPTIC BULLSHIT IS STUFF CHAOTIC PEOPLE DO YOU FAT WHORE.

>>4045836

To Nevada: "By the way, who is that Goldmoon person they were talking about earlier?"

>>4045836
Kill her. Kill the bitch now. See if she sees THAT coming.

>>4045836
Ask her about Nevada! She's Mado's true love, asking stuff of her are sure to restore memories!

>>4045836
Oh noooo.... we're going to have to go back to the Order god aren't we?

>>4045836

Facepalm, while stifling your swearing until your out of the house of holiness. Then proceed to the queen, where Kav is most likely already finished speaking.

>>4045836
Well, as long as we walked all the way here, can she do anything else helpful for us? Less cryptic advice, permanent buffs, possibly a bit of useful information regarding the rough-fortuned assassin's guild?

>>4045836

Badger her with incessant questions. Fuck cryptic statements. That's not how clear wonderful order goes.

Phrase everything in a yes or no form, for bonus points.

I don't think anyone has actually told Mado about what she was like before she lost her memories.

Maybe that would be a good place for Nevada to start, seeing as how she KNEW MADO FROM THE BEGINNING.

>>4045836
Continually ask over and over how or when they will be restored until they kick you out from sheer annoyance.

Go to Yog, since Beardbeard isn't there you can be all civil like

>>4045836
What do you mean by asking? What kind of asking? Asking who? When should we ask? When should we stop asking? What kind of questions should we ask? How should we phrase them?

>>4045842
Mado has no memory, and people keep telling her stuff that makes her think she knows things only to find out she really doesn't. This does not make her happy, and she takes it out on Hag.

Good...good... now slap her around a bit.

>>4045911
Have Nevada kiss mado to calm her down. Also the massive emotional shock has a very high chance of restoring some memories.

>>4045938
You just want a lesbian kiss, Anon. Saying that, I second this option.

>>4045911
ASK ABOUT GARRELF

AND SHOUT ABOUT IT, YOU'RE UPSET

Alright, how about this? For every pound of gold you ingest, you get 30 minutes with Xxjuakhsa here.

>>4045911

WRECK UP THE PLACE

"Fine, fine, I'll be more specific. Ask your little loli friend there."

>>4045960
DO WANT. CONSUME 1/2 LB GOLD. WE SHOULD NEED MORE THAN 15 MINUTES.

>>4045953
No no, I honestly think it's a logical assumption. I mean sure, I want to see some lesbian action, but I also reckon it would be a good move to restore some memories, now wouldn't it?

>>4045962
Ask loli about self.

>>4045962

Happily thank the hag, and start interrogating Nevada.

>>4045962
ASK HER WHAT!?

REMIND HER THAT IT WOULD BE CHAOTIC TO SUDDENLY STOP THE PATTERN OF BEATINGS->INFORMATION. SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT YOG DOES SHE?!

>>4045962
Ask Nevada. Cue flashback to how they met.

>>4045960
Meanwhile, outside of Teven...

>>4045960
1 pound of gold is very little gold! Gold is denser/heavier than lead.

...Oh shit. BEARDBEARD'S GETTING TANKED! WE GOTTA HURRY THIS SHIT UP GUYS BEFORE HE REALLY FUCKS THINGS UP!

>>4045992
YEAAAAAHHH! HOT SUCCUBUS DICKINGS!

>>4045992
laughing..so.. much...

>>4045986
We aren't at the temple of Yog. This is the temple of Fate.

>>4045987
>>4045985
>>4045980
3 hour story tiem with Nevada initiated!

Nevada and Mado return to find Beardbeard with a smug satisfied look on his face

>>4046044
3 HOURS? 3 HOURS OF BEARDBEARD ALONE? SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

>>4046044
Nevada: Burst in tears when you tell about their first kiss. Beg Mado to remember.

>>4046002
Its only 1.43 cubic inches of gold. That's a cube 1.13 in on each side. EASILY DOABLE!

Her memory is not completely restored, but the conversation ended up filling in a lot of the holes! Capabilities restored!

>>4046044
I vote beardbeard fight trees.
Fuck trees.

>>4046085
Yea, damn trees always hogging all the photosynthesis

>>4046044

Skip to the reaction.

Then head to Yog.

Switch control to Kav.

Beardbeard is fine as is.

>>4046065
The story time is unfortunately void of romance. Mado is disappointed.

Oooh yea! The art quality drops dramatically and Beardbeard gets him some.

>>4046060

Lily, can you hear me?! FOR THE SAKE OF HUMANITY, GET OVER TO TEVA AS FAST AS YOU CAN AND KEEP YOUR EYES ON BEARDBEARD FOR AT LEAST 3 HOURS! THE WHOLE PLANET'S GOING TO DIE IF YOU DON'T!

>>4046106
Why would Nevada not tell her about this stuff? Why'd she hold back the most important parts? Doesn't she want Mado to remember their happiest times together?

>>4046101
>Switch control to Kav!

As it turns out, Kav has no direction sense to speak of.

>>4046106
>disappointed

Clearly Mado was waiting for this. This means that even if the Mado/Nevada plot is just shipping and doesn't really exist, at least Mado has secretly harbored a long crush to her smaller friend!

This is now Canon, Gnome! You can't weasel your way out of this one!

>>4046130
But the queen has to know what happened to Garrelf! Or at least we have to know if he's really here hiding!

>>4046130

God damn it.Okay, which of you jokers knows the way to Teva from the hydra's remains?

>>4046130
Did we actually switch control or are we just checking in?

>>4046130

I don't suppose there's a way we can crack the fourth wall open abit and tell her she's going the wrong way, can we?

>>4046130

'k, what the fuck. That's the Hydra we killed didn't we? Anyway Kav, head the hell to Yog's temple. Ask Sunbeard for directions. He's cool.

>>4046174
Sunbeard probably doesn't like fey.

>>4046137

Send Nevada there. She knows how to roll. Besides, I wanna see the new and improved Satanic elves.

>>4046112
I FUCKING LOVE YOU!

>>4046196
>Sees censor
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT I HATE YOU!

>Okay back to Mado for a minute - Backstory tiem

>>4046120
The memories have returned to Mado - she and Nevada have never been a couple. Mado has hero-worshiped Nevada for ages, and has been trying for years to get closer to her.

She eventually succeeded, having convinced Goldmoon to let Nevada train her to be an assassin. In an attempt to stay close to her hero, she's been intentionally doing poorly - she is at least as good as the other assassins in the guild, but tries her best not to show it.

Mado's life goal is to one day have Nevada look up to her, trust her, respect her, and maybe... maybe even love her. True Capability Card revealed!

>>4046206
Awesome.

Have a sudden confidence boost and ask Nevada out on a date!

>>4046206

Better than Aldwin.

Damned awesome. Now we head to the Queen, head to Yog temple, get Kav, Kill Arm.

This session needs more violence.

>>4046206
Visit the queen. We're going to need to get this thing moving if we want violence.

>>4046258
Seconded. Chances are Garrelf is there, and Garrelf always equals violence.

>>4046154
Just a check up - we'll check up on Kav throughout the session.

>>4046239
>Now we head to the Queen, head to Yog temple, get Kav, Kill Arm.

Mado has different priorities.

>>4046288
dawwww

>>4046288

XOM IS AMUSED---wait, I'm not Xom! Damn it!

>>4046288
Nevada: SAY YES! REVEAL THAT YOU'VE HAD A CRUSH ON HER TOO SINCE EVER!

>>4046307
God damn, I JUST GOT BACK FROM /d/! I can't fap anymore tonight!

>>4046258
>>4046239
>>4046266
>>4046145
>See the queen!
One of the helpful will-o-the-wisps has kindly led Kav straight to Queen Arialla!

>>4046323
Reveal Garrelf is there! Tell her everything that's happened.

>>4046323

Quick travel activated.

>>4046327
>Tell her everything
>Garrelf is gone
Queen Arialla is not amused.

>>4046357
She has vanished!

>>4046357
- "We are not amused. Bet you five quid I can make her say it."
- "Well if I gambled on that, it'd be an abuse of my privilege as a traveler in time."
- "Ten quid?"
- "Done."

>>4046365
Comes back with Garrelf. Called it!

"I would like a word with you, Beardbeard."

>>4046393
JESUS WOMAN FUCKING KNOCK

>>4046393
BOSS MUSIC

FULL POWER

ALL THE WAY TO 11

>>4046393
Wut.

>>4046393
Uh-oh.

Tell her the truth. That you couldn't have looked after Garrelf while you were busy fighting a dragon, and that he's most likely stronger than you anyway and can handle himself all right.

>>4046393

Ohshit.

Tell her we had nothing to do with Garelf disappearing. It was just a natural consequence of battle. That dragon was fucking stringer than expected.

>>4046393
OH GODS.

Introduce the queen to our lovely date.

>>4046393
Hey he's just off in another dimension. It should be a simple matter for someone with as much power as the queen to get him back!

>>4046408
>>4046421
Beardbeard puts on his pants and offers some explanation, but is cut short.

"I don't care HOW you lost him, GET HIM BACK. His 3 days of time with me are 2 days from now - if he isn't in the palace by SUNDOWN, I will DISINTEGRATE YOU."

>>4046429
see
>>4045960 and >>4045992

Tell her you're already trying to get him back.

>>4046441
Seems kind of...evil.

Bitch.

Tell her the Shadow Realm is filled with things she cannot POSSIBLY imagine and if she REALLY wants to guarantee his return, she'd join us. Unless, of course, she doesn't REALLY love him.

>>4046441
What, is he due for another session at elf castle already? It's not like the queen would see him until then!

Inform her that she is probably more capable of getting him back than Beardbeard!

>>4046441
Ask her if the whole relationship is just about sex.

This will be a funny prank for Garrelf, to have a discussion with his girlfriend that will either end up with him having awkward discussions about their relationship, meeting with her parents and friends, and trying to answer questions of whether that dress will make her look fat, or end up with him losing his hot girlfriend and his status as a king.

>>4046464
You're a monster.

Nevada probably just threw something at us for even THINKING that.

Quest: find a way to time travel. once found, go back and fetch him from the moment he vanished, explaining why he suddenly disappeared.

>>4046450
>>4046455
>Well you COULD, yanno, help me get him back.

"As I said, you have two days." And she's gone again.

Go to Nevada/Mado, tell them we have a change of plans.

>>4046474
Man, what a bitch.

Forget it. Find a way to get a disintegration resistance instead. Laugh at her when her spell bounces off harmlessly.

>>4046474

Bitch.

Bitch.

Bitch!

No fucking way. Let's ask Satan to fucking smite her ass!

>>4046474
RAGE at the air where the queen was.

...not really sure what else we could do right now, besides trying something else on THE LIST.

>>4046474
Cleave the dimensions asunder with your axe, and enter the shadow realm.

>>4046474

Regroup.

>>4046484
They can head back to the guild and take the charge from Aldwin, who's probably crumbling under pressure already. Beardbeard and Kav can go and find either Garrelf or Disintegration resistance.

>>4046393
Gnome you are the best DM ever.

>>4046484
Beardbeard isn't allowed in the city limits!

So I'll just do a check up on Mado and Nevada.

>>4046515
Aw.

She's confused. Let her have some time to think things.

Ask Satan for help here.

>>4046515
Apparently, she isn't a lesbian? ...wait, female not a lesbian? DOES NOT COMPUTE.
She is obviously possessed by a gay demon.

>>4046515
I FEEL AS IF WE COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS, BUT DID NOTHING. IT IS NOT A PLEASANT FEELING.

>>4046515
>Beardbeard isn't allowed in the city limits!

>>4046528
>>4046532
Relax, she was just utterly shocked by this unexpected turn of events. She'll come around.

>>4046515

Oh this is so fucking chaotic.

Xom is amused.

Mado to Yog's temple, Kev to Yog's temple, and Nevada to Yog's temple.

Why Yog's temple? I just wanted to see it.

So we can wreck it later appropriately.

>>4046515
Allowed? Beardbeard Godslayer cares not for permissions! Go to the elf city and deforest her royal hiney!

>>4046549
No, go into town and excessively defend yourself if threatened/attacked.

>>4046549

>disintegration

Plus our best bud Satan would be pissed if we kill off his worshippers.

>>4046526
Beardbeard turns to Satan for help.

"Make it quick; I need to settle a dispute with some elf queen sometime soon."

Cleave a hole in reality to the shadow realm and drag Garrelf back. Preferably in a manner that will cause all sorts of shadow demons and the like to flood into the elf city.

>>4046568
Say that perhaps we can be of help in that area.

Challenge Satan to a D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!

>>4046593
"I can't imagine why you would want to - some boring complaint about her husband."

>>4046568
Haha, tell him you are aware of this situation. Ask for either a wish (and offer to pay or quest) or for directions to someone who can cast wish.

>>4046568
"If 'settling the dispute' means killing her, go for it laddie. You'll solve my problem at the same time."

>>4046604
"Remember that manly elf I killed when we got REALLY drunk?

Yeah, that's the husband."

>>4046604
Well, we kind of accidentally made her husband disappear, and now she wants him back. We need to get her off our backs about this.

Beardbeard kind of wants him back too, he had nifty shadow powers.

>>4046610
>>4046608

>>4046615
"Man you are SUCH a pain in the ass, Beardbeard. What do you need me to do?"

>>4046633
Hey! We're the reason he became a god in the first place! Show a little gratitude!

>>4046633
Wat? I thought Satan and Beardbeard were BFF's

>>4046633
We just need to find out how to get to the Shadow Realm to get that husband back. It's our only means of not getting disintegrated by her.

Unless....YOU have a better idea as to how we can avoid getting killed by her.

You know that place? The place full of negative energy? What's the best way to not die there?

>>4046638
No, we were kind of friends for a while. Then we started bugging him for every little thing and he's been generally pissed at us for a while.

>>4046635
>>4046638
They are - why do you think Satan is helping in spite of you causing the problem in the first place?

>>4046633
Find the husband and dump him here. Duh.

Remind Satan that he still totally can call in favors from US at any time.

>>4046650
D'aww Satan and Beardbeard BFFs!

>>4046650
Throw little pieces of ice at Satan. If he complains, tell him that you are hailing him.
I have no idea if this pun has been done, but hey.

He turned into some sort of freaky shadow elf-dorf-thing recently, and he disappeared without a trace. Help me get him back.

>>4046633
>>4046650
All right all right, just either give us Garrelf or send us to where he is.

>>4046653
"I will keep it in mind."

>>4046646
"Alright, Shadow Realm, whatever, git."

>>4046670
Beardbeard GITs.

>>4046670
Great. Now WE'RE banished to the shadow realm too.

I hope this solves our problem. Somehow.

>>4046654
IDK, my BFF Satan?

Gnome, I love you so much! Your quests are so much better than the Weavertrain.

>>4046703
There wouldn't be a dorf quest if it wasn't for Weaver.

Well doesn't this look friendly. Nothing but shadows as far as the eye can see.

>>4046720
DEFORESTATION THE SHADOWS

>>4046720
Garrelf will find you. A material being in a non-material world is going to shine like a beacon.

Which, of course, will attract other things as well...

>>4046721
DEFORESTATION!

...It doesn't seem particularly effective.

>>4046720
But there needs to be a source of light to CREATE the shadows

>>4046735
Menace that face on the right for information.

>>4046736
.... and something to block that source of light to make said shadows.

>>4046735
OHSHI WHAT'S THAT

IT'S GARRELF

I RECOGNIZE THE GRIN

>>4046736
Not in this realm, no.

>>4046735

We have a torch. Torch the fucking place.

Or invoke the golden sceptre. Gold=light right?

Pick a direction, start walking. Be sure to have your axe ready.

>>4046728
>shine like a beacon.

What are you talking about, how can anything find me when I'm covered in shadows! Silly /tg/.

>>4046751
Turn around!

>>4046749
>>4046751

Ask the face what's so fucking funny. And torch the place.

>>4046703
I think that Dorfquest is much more... freeform than Rubyquest was, and of course, the idea of railroading it is much harder to do. I'm reminded of one time where someone said to combine everything they had into a rocket launcher, or something. That would not work in Ruby [since everything is supposed to make a certain amount of sense], but sure could happen here.

...also, is it possible to prove if something is NOT railroaded?

>>4046754
>Turn around!

Why? Is there something ba- hey, its Garrelf!

>>4046751
Lift up your dorfy beard and unleash the tiny star behind it

>>4046763
>...also, is it possible to prove if something is NOT railroaded?

No, and that's why these trolls love it so much.

>>4046781
Cool. Pick him up and get the hell out of here.

Crash straight onto Mado and Nevada's first date.

>>4046763

Dorfquest reminds me more of /r9k/'s CYOA. That was fucking epic and a bit free form as well. Thomas has a more manly beard than Beardbeard though.

Truly.

>>4046781
Obliterate that table. We haven't met our table destruction quota for this session.

>>4046763
I enjoy Dorf Quest greatly, but I liked Ruby Quest even more simply because it was put together so well, while this here seems just like several adventures full of random weird stuff happening - in an awesome way, but still.

>>4046781
Do we recognize the other guy? If we do, say hi. If we don't, punch him in the face, then say hi.

>>4046787
>Thomas has a more manly beard than Beardbeard though.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT THIS FUCKING INSTANCE

>>4046781
Uhm, is that black stuff on the back of BeardBeard's head... uh, bad?

>>4046786
>>4046804
...no matter how much you run, he doesn't seem to be getting closer.

>>4046835
Then use your wings to fly.

>>4046835
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU SMILING AT YOU FUCKING DISEMBODIED FACE

Autosaging now.

>>4046835
Yell at him. And use wings: >>4046844

>>4046844
>>4046851
THose wings are tiny. Beardbeard can't fly with them.

>>4046851
>>4046844
Vestigial.

YELL WITH ALL YOUR DORFY FRUSTRATION.

>>4046835

Damn it, sound better at least work here. "HEY GARRELF, YOU'RE DUE FOR YOUR ROYAL PUTANG COURTESY OF YOUR LOLI ELF WIFE! NOW GET THE FUCK OVER HERE SO I CAN TAKE YOU HOME AND NOT GET DISENTEGRATED BY SAID WIFE."

>>4046857
We are in the realm of SHADOWS. Does gravity even work here? ...is there AIR?

>>4046857
>>4046864
This is SHADOW realm, like >>4046869 says.

Things might be weird here. We should try the wings out at least.

>>4046868 here.

If all else fails, fire an optic blast from your jewel eye! That should attract some attention.

AUTOSAGAN.

>>4046869
"Do you think that's BEER you're drinking?"

New thread: >>4046909

>>4046892
ITS NOT A GOD DAMN LASER! It melts STONE only when in physical contact with it. Not metal or anything else. Just rocks. And only when touching it.

>>4046820

Quoting from thread:

"FUCK YES, GROW ME A MOTHERFUCKING BEARD THAT'LL MAKE THE GODS TREMBLE."

This was after his manliness points was multiplied by 100, granting him the ability to grow a MANLY BEARD at will.