Wand of Detect Self.

Unless you're playing with morons, they'll fins a way to make that useful.

>>4109385
Strange AND/OR useless.

Fantasy Shamwow is strange, not useless.

>>4109376
1 quart per round?

That's really slow. You can pour water faster than that

>>4109376


use this sucker on an open wound and it will mummify.

On a related note, Vince Offer was arrested.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html

>>4109393
Ok, my turn.

Ring of the ghostly orchestra. Wherever you go, classical orchestra plays around you, changing in tone as the theme changes. When my friends come over and have the speakers with my collection it can be great fun.

Inverse Dowsing Rod

This looks like a normal Y-shaped rod, used for Dowsing; finding water by following mystical leylines. However, either by accident or design, the magic in this rod works in reverse, and will lead the wielder towards the driest spot of land within 100 meters of his starting position.

Cursed ID
Auto-Passes 1 bluff test a day, after use reduces CHA by 5 to a minimum of 1

I love minor/mostly useless magical items, I always include a traveling salesman that sells them from the back of a blue camel.
I also include a Stan's Previously Owned (Whatever) Emporium no matter what setting the game is.

Reverse Jesus Cup:

Makes wine/alcoholic beverages into water.

>>4109447

Ah yes, recurring businesses and items. What game group is complete without them?

Miner's Compass.

Created and used mostly by the Dwarves, this device looks like a normal brass compass. However, the dial will randomly spin around to point in a completely new direction every 10 minutes.

When examined below the surface of the earth, however, the compass needle will automatically point towards the nearest vein of precious metal. It may point towards the largest deposit no matter the quality, or to the rarest deposit regardless of how little there is, at the digression of the DM. Additionally, it will point out the closest route to the metal, almost always requiring mining a new path through the rock.

>>4109396
1 gallon per round sound better?

Bowl of Bland: Any foodstuff placed in the bowl immediately becomes tasteless and odorless and totally unremarkable. It does not, however, made inedible or poisonous foods safe to eat.

Expulsion Poison
This liquid looks like a run of the mill potion, but when downed, will cause the user to spew forth an endless stream of vomit, regardless of the contents of the user's stomach. The effect will last until a cure poison spell/scroll/etc has been cast on the victim.

My old DM liked to keep track of how long we would hold onto potions, and when he deemed them to be spoiled, they turned into this.

>>4109467
Stan's Previously Owned Starship Emporium on Nar Shaddaa was the starting point of one the greatest Star Wars RPG games I ever ran.
Ultimately it lead to the total ecological breakdown of Naboo. Many gungans died to bring the players closer to their goal.

Ring of Visibility.

User thinks the ring works as a Ring of Invisibility, but the wearer is outlined by a blue light. This light begins to appear two minutes after the ring is activated and slowly builds in intensity over the course of five minutes. The glow remains at this intensity until ten minutes after the ring is removed. At no time is the wearer aware of this glow.

Crown of Solitude

This thin silver circlet is woven with bands of blue alloys. When worn, the wearer is magically unable to see, hear, or be made aware of any other living creature or their immediate personal effects.

Impressive Shield - This cursed item looks and functions just like any other ordinary medium shield but the person holding it is extremely enamored with it and will expound upon the virtues of their magnificent shield to no end.
This effect remains until the person is either killed or the shield is destroyed--the victim will mourn the loss of their totally bitchin shield for at least a month.

>>4109497

Your DM is a cruel, cruel man, and I like his style.

Wand of Disintegration - When used, this wand disintegrates.

Yeah, Looney Tunes humor.

Completely unmovable rod. It is stuck to a wizard's table somewhere.

>>4109497

surely your party found some way to exploit these instasick potions.

>>4109513

This is actually a major ballin' item to fake out PCs with...

I am stealing your idea :D

>>4109620
I am reminded of the universal still-point immovable rod.

Cloth of Polishing - Will clean any surface with a single wipe and never needs to be washed itself!
This actually is immensely useful but my stupid players didn't buy it for the measly 200GP asking price.

13 sided ivory dice of Xom. I don't know what it would do, but it sounds hilarious.

>>4109669
CLANG!

>>4109376
Billy Mays did it first

>>4109688
Rolling any number that isn't double sevens kills you.

>>4109688
In a similar vein, Dorf Quest's Xominoes - regular dominoes, but every minute all tile numbers not touching a matching number on another tile change to a different number.

From F.A.T.A.L.

Rapeseed of raping - the consumer of this seed will rape the next female he/she sees.

>>4109690
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

>>4109688
Clearly you need a table of random mutations that occur when someone rolls them. But then you'd have to find an actual d13.

>>4109690

What the fuck was that?

>>4109690
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

>>4109707
>>4109713
>>4109719
WTFMind

>>4109688
Triskiadecahedrons?!? WHAT MADNESS IS THIS!?
I like to befuddle new PCs with Gnomish Do-Nothing machines. Extremely tantalizing and often sold by impressively dressed gentlemen at bargain rates. Naive characters can hardly resist.
Actually anything Gnomish is great fun until they learn to stay away from Tinker Gnomes.

>>4109587
Shit, that's awesome. Even if it is fucking strange..

>>4109707
Makeshift one.
1d12 + 1d2 (if the 1d2 is a 2 add 1 to the 1d12 if not then add 0

>>4109741
Occasionally reverse the value of the 1d2 because Xom finds it hilarious

>>4109690
Ah fuck.

>>4109521

My next campaign is going to involve a King with one of these on, who refuses to address the problems of his kingdom instead wishing to remain in meditative solitude.

>>4109650
Yeah, because pulling some exploit chicanery is exactly what you want to do with a DM who will ding you for hording consumables by making you throw up forever.

Codpiece of the Angry God
When worn, one of 20 random mutations occurs to the user's genitalia. This can be anything from "Hyperphallicism" to "Angry venomous snake for a wang" for men, and anything from "Re-virgination" to "Acidic razorlabia" for women.

>>4109669

What the fuck was that?

Condoms of Invincibility
The wearer is invincible but only where the condom covers.

>>4109741
>>4109746
I was thinking more along the lines of flipping a coin and if it lands on heads it's automatically 13(which would do something awful), then rolling if it's tails.

>>4109764
Although you can have the 1d2 at times determine if its a 13 by ignoring the 1d12 completely.

If its 2 then its automatically a 13 if not then the 1d12 counts

Pic related.

>>4109399

Yep. Punched a hooker.

>>4109781
Hey either way it works.

Also a 1d2 is a fancy way of saying flipping a coin

Hat of Expose Self
This hat affixes itself to the user's head. Its design is similar to a sombrero and is riddled with several different bright colors and design. This hat confers a -20 to all disguise, hide, and bluff checks to deny accusations.

There really is no good way to make a 1d13

The best way is 1d2 and 1d20.

If the d2 is a 2, add 20 to your d20 roll.

Divide by 3, round up, reroll 40 (2 and 20).

>>4109760
Young man I have just the thing for you.

Clockwork Spider
A small clockwork spider of gnomish design that follows you commands. Roll 1d2 to see if it explodes, despite having no combustible parts.

>>4109781
So you have a 1 in 24 chance of an actual result and a 1 in 2 chance of "HORRIBLE DEATH LULZ"? You are an evil man.

>>4109767
Gentle Response or Purify Food and Drink.
Or if you have a Psion Quintessence.

>>4109817
Maybe I should go with 7 sided dice of Xom then, where 7s do something bad instead of something good because that's how Xom rolls. This includes rolling a 7 with one of the dice or rolling a sum of 7. I don't know what they would look like though. 7 on the dice should be the biggest part though and the enchantment shouldn't be identifiable or should be the opposite of what it really does.

>>4109827
This is the kind of crap I sold them--except it did even less and exploded more often.

>>4109827

why the fuck did you rebuild the clockspider? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU REMAKE HIM?

>>4109878
7's easy.

1d8 reroll 8.

And because it's Xom, rolling 3 or more 8s in a row does something crazy.

>>4109878
7-sided die, you say?

>>4109906
and if you roll enough 8s, you [spoiler]amuse Xom[/spoiler]

>>4109906
It should be 1d2 then 1d6 where getting a 1 on the 1d2 makes the die automatically land on 7.

Glove of folding.

Moment glove touches any solid or colloid, the object becomes hollow and is able to be collapsed and folded. The effect lasts 10 minutes per a full round of contact.

the item does maintain other chemical and physical properties as the original

Just roll a d20 and re-roll on 14-20 its the only way to get the probability right.

>>4109784
That just means that you roll a 13 50% of the time

>>4109986
That's the point.

>>4109497
Uncanny.

>>4109878
1d10+1d3= 1d13

>>4110030
I hope to fucking god this is a troll.

>>4110024
Xom is amused

rolled 2 + 1 = 3

>>4109817

rolled 3 = 3

>>4110084
I clearly don't know how to use dice.

rolled 11 = 11

>>4110035
1d10+1d4-1

>>4109778
do they come in magnum? 'cause then they can function as Helms, gloves and boots.

>>4110096
Still wrong.

>>4110035
Nope take a d10 and a d6. Use 1-2=1 3-4=2 5-6=3 and it will yield a range from 2-13. Which may or may not be what he wants, but it works.

>>4110134
Why did you just explain to me how to roll a d3? You shouldn't assume everyone is a dense as you are.

If you are trolling more than 1 die, you cannot get a linear result. Period.

I've figured out how it should work.
1d2 where 1 makes it automatically a 7 and 2 makes you roll 1d6. The second one gives you a 6 if you get a 2 on the 1d2 and a 7 if you roll a 6 on the 1d6. This grossly increases your chances of rolling a sum of 13. Sums of 7 give you a mutation that may help the current situation and everything else gives you a mutation that won't.

Quill of obscene sentiments.

Whenever this quill is used to write a letter or a missive or any other form of writing addressed to a specific person. Once the letter is sealed or otherwise hidden from sight, the words rewrite themselves into a confession from the writer filled with the most obscene and deviant sexual desires and fantacies for the recipiant. This only works for messeges meant for a specific person, simply taking notes with the quil yields no negative results.

Rod of smaller rods
This 1 foot smooth black rod, when swung with a flick of the wrist, launches from it's tip an almost identical rod that as a fraction smaller than itself, this projectile then fires another smaller rod etc etc, the rod weights roughly 5 lbs to begin with, weight reduces with size. maximum range before the rods simply cease to be seen is 300ft


Tongue extender.
This small silver piece of bling is a piercing for the tongue, when worn the wearer can extend his tongue up to three feet.

>>4110114
well, if we're talking modern latex, it doesn't matter, you can stretch a standard condom over a fucking 3 liter soda bottle without too much trouble. old school goat intestine ones you might realistically see would be a bit of an issue.

>>4109383
"Oh, there I am."

Wand of Summoning Wand of Summoning
One charge.
Summons a new Wand of Summoning Wand of Summoning with one charge.

Lost Keys - These keys seem very important, but the moment they are placed in any storage container or left unattended they teleport themselves to a random, out-of-sight location within 25 meters, where they wait to be found again.

Talking Stone - these polished stones can be in a variety of colors and patterns, but they always come in pairs. Any sounds that a made within one foot of one stone can be heard by anyone with the other stone held up to their ear.

Mug of Frosting
Keeps liquids at just shy of freezing temperatures. Also happens to deal 1d6 frost damage to anyone who willingly drinks from it.

OR JESUS GUYS USE 1D6+1D7

WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T ANYONE THINK OF THAT?

1d10 +1d4 where the d10 "0" is zero and not ten.

Portable Vehicle
It carries one person and any equipment they carry at normal movement speeds for that character. It can also be folded up and slung over a character's shoulder. Special models can be made for different size riders, each model can support riders of up to one size category difference, but with added difficulty (only half normal movement).

Ink Berries
These prickly berries will attach to any soft surface that touches them or brushes up against them (such as cloth, skin, or leather). Attempting to remove the prickly berries proves difficult, but when forced the berries will simply collapse into an explosion of ink that permanently dyes any substances nearby the point of contact.

Stone of Etching
This small tile can be drawn or written on using any object, including a finger. Anything pressed against it leaves a distinctly colored mark. The image or message can be erased by holding the tile above one's head and shaking it vigorously.

Name: Oil of Flammability
Appearance: A small flask of yellowish-white oil with a picture of a flame on the side.
Abilities: Items on which an oil of flammability is spread gain vulnerability to fire.
History: These oils started life as a series of cursed oils of protection from fire which a cruel cleric created for an adventuring company. However, once the ruse was found out, it was discovered they work great for making campfires light quicker, helping destroy dead bodies, and other assorted useful everyday tasks. The cleric quit in disgust when the adventuring company started asking for his special oils by the new name and explaining their million and one uses, so they hired on a new cleric who happily continues the proud tradition of intentionally cursing products meant for use in life-or-death situations.
Cost: 150 gp

Name: Stake of Protection from Tornados
Appearance: This is a heavy adamantine stake with several light iron chains set into the ring at the top.
Abilities: The stake of protection from tornados is activated by driving it into the ground. Its chains can hold up to 6 people, and go around the wrist. While chained to the stake of protection from tornados, a character must lie prone. Those chained can hear each other normally, can cast any spells with no somatic components, and do not need to make fortitude saves versus being sucked into the funnel.
History: When you’re a druid in a place prone to outbursts of nature’s fury, you develop means of overcoming it. One such druid began forging these stakes for the people in the small towns around her in a vast plain that seemed to magnetically attract tornados. Later turned out to be the result of a nearby elder wind elemental that had been driven insane, no lie.
Cost: 950 gp

Yes, inspired vaguely by the end of Twister.

>>4112677
FLOATING UPSIDE-DOWN INSIDE A FUCKING TORNADO WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>4112670
Does an oil of protection from fire strike anyone else as an incrediby stupid idea?

Name: Cornucopia of Delicious Berries
Appearance: A woven cornucopia, currently empty.
Abilities: Berries placed into the cornucopia of delicious berries are automatically affected as though by a goodberry spell.
History: An elven druid wove this quite pretty cornucopia, thinking it would be nice for her brother and his family to have at their harvest feast. Since then, it’s changed hands a few times.
Cost: 1,500 gp

Wand of Gullibility
Anyone holding this wand will believe anything that another person tells them, this works for as long as the person holds the wand and any other person can change what the person believes at a moment's notice. This effect is removed the moment the person lefts go of the wand.

Orb of Frost.

A perfectly round ball of black ice, that upon contact with ANY liquid capable of being frozen will instantly freeze it. With full immersion, it results in a 20' orb of frozen liquid, but can be dipped to freeze a smaller area. Minor artifact when it comes to resisting its effects, and will need maintenance so that it doesn't become covered in chunks of ice over time, from the moisture in the air.

Got used as a means to keep cool, a way to create very unsteady footing while skipping over large bodies of water, and as a rather brutal weapon.

>>4112687
An oily substance rubbed onto the skin that makes you impervious to fire?

No. Should it?

>>4112687
He assured them it was legit, just his own twist on the brewing.

>>4109778
I would simply roll a sprite

Box of Regifting
Placing an object inside the box and closing the lid will magically switch the previous object for a new one of equal or lesser value at random. All the objects are previously used though and no one wanted THEM in the first place.

Scroll of Water into Whine
turns up to 10 cubic feet of water into a shrill, annoying noise that lasts approximately 1 minute for each cubic foot of water converted thusly.

>>4112726
Fix this to a platform of some kind and put it at the base of a waterfall.

Scales of Balancing
These delicately crafted brass scales will magically balance out any excess weight placed on either side, resulting in a perfect balance no matter how much weight is placed on either scale.

>>4112733
but it only has one charge...

>>4112745
Oh. Shit.

>>4112726
So a water-destroying artifact? Sweet, dump 400 of them into the well.

Amulet of Secrets
when the wearer of this amulet is in the company of other individuals they are magically compelled to reveal something embarrassing about themselves or something they have done in the past at least once per conversation.

>>4112755
Who are you going to convince to give up their XP to make 400 scrolls....

>>4112539
those are actually in the 4e players handbook

The Short Stick
This rod's length magically varies so that is just a few inches too short for whatever purpose the user intends for it.

>>4112785
who plays 4th edition anyways?

>>4109376
What happens if you soak it in something flamable?

Ring of Internal Monologue
While wearing this ring, the users thoughts are narrated by the soothing voice of Morgan Freeman.

>>4112831
Ring of Infernal Monologue
While wearing this ring, the users thoughts are narrated by the irritating voice of Zach Braff.

Miniature Claymore
This exquisitely crafted replica counts as a fine sized two-handed sword. It's too tiny to cause damage, but might cause minor irritation if you poke it into the sensitive parts of someone's body.

Ring of Noir Monologue: While wearing this ring, you MUST use at least one metaphor per sentence. You also become unavailible to use words like "money" and "woman", instead turning into "dough" and "dame" respectively.

>>4112831
>>4112848
So...if you happen to wear both rings at once, what will happen?

Decanter of Decanting
Any liquids stored in this bottle can be poured into any other container without spilling or wasting a drop in the process. It doesn't provide an exact measure, you'll just have to eyeball it.

>>4112861
Zach Braff narrates Morgan Freeman's thoughts on the character's thoughts.

Ring of Bling
This gold ring has a tiny gold ring on it. So you can wear your jewelry while you wear your jewelery.

>>4112875
or vice versa

>>4112891
Worse, Morgan and Zach's voices will argue in your head as to who will narrate your thoughts.

>>4112890
And if you look closely, you may just see another ring on the ring on the ring. Then again, look closer some more...

Both cases: Lose 1d6 Sanity

Incomplete Jigsaw Puzzle
any time a person manages to correctly place a piece into this partially finished jigsaw puzzle, a different piece pops out and usually ends up getting mixed in with the rest of the loose pieces.

Pussy Deflector
This rather ugly artifact prevents the holder from ever being touched by cats of any kind. Conversely, the holder can also not touch any felines, no matter how hard they might try. Functions very similarly to a Sanctuary spell.

Wand of Denial
I've never seen this wand. Have you even seen this wand? I don't know anything about this wand.

>>4112891
>>4112875
Dependent on which you put on first.

Also, does everyone else hear the narrative? Or just the wearer?

A funny dupe, would be a ring that's the same as the Internal Monologue, but the wearer doesn't hear the narrative. Everyone around him/her does, however.

Wand of Perpetual Solidity
This small, smooth, metalic wand can never be melted, sublimated, or otherwise changed in shape or composition.

Akhsoyrtam Doll - A small wooden doll that can be pulled in half to reveal another, slightly larger doll inside.

Said doll contains a slightly larger doll, and so forth.

The Ring of 674 - The wearer will always forget to wear underwear. They are still physically capable, and can do so if reminded. They will never connect this behaviour to the ring, nor will they ever think to remove it, unless specifically convinced.

Potion of Double V Vampirism
A potion that when drunk, will turn the character into a Vegan Virgin Vampire who sparkles in direct sunlight. This character MUST conform to the standard, and MUST between campaigns wait for his/her one true love to be born. Roll 6d100. On a roll of 1, your one true love is born.

>>4112994
That is, the total score of the roll must equal 1. Not any one die coming up 1.

>>4112957
You just broke the game.

>>4113004
And I just lost The Game.

>>4113018
AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!
I almost went a whole day without losing the game. DAMN YOU!!!!!

>>4113026
CONGRATULATIONS!
You have just WON the game.

>>4113026
How do you faggots keep finding your way here? Leave and forget you ever heard of 4chan.

>>4113153
I'd be happy if they just left /tg/.

>>4113157
I suppose they think 'The Game' is a traditional game

>>4113250
It's a Tradtional Game just like how XCom is a Traditional Game? It's hella old?

>>4112806

What if the person using wanted it to have a couple of inches extra for the task it was using it for? Would it negate its effects?

>>4113357
I think it would pre-emp and and still be too short for what he needed it to do.

>>4113357
>What if the person using wanted it to have a couple of inches extra for the task it was using it for? Would it negate its effects?
>couple of inches extra for the task it was using it for
>extra inches
>larger penis

>>4113357
What if he wanted it to be to pierce something by an extended amount?

Ooh, point it at the BBEG and think "if only I could brace the pole off the wall behind the BBEG..."

>>4113018
Sorry, but i had Platinum Angel in play. D:

>>4113905
The rod responds to intentions, not commands. if you INTEND to pierce the BBEG with it, it will be a few inches too short for that. The moment your intentions change, so too does the length of the rod.

Shoe of Holding
This finely taylored leather shoe has a dimensional pocket inside specifically so you can fit both feet inside a single shoe! The dimensional pocket won't hold anything besides feet though...

Bag of ill gotten gains.

Every time you reach into this bag you recieve an item stored in someone else's bag of holding.

13 numeral kuku clock. All time outside of the clock freezes on the thirteenth hour and resumes on the first hour. There is a small compartment on it you can put something in.

Flask of Homosexuality
This bag contains an infinite amount of gay fuel soda. The soda is combustible and will catch on fire if left to open air for more than a minute.

>>4112701
"That wand is cursed. Releasing it will make you die. Anyone who says otherwise is lying to you and trying to kill you."

Can of Anger
Anything within 10 meters when this can is opened is incredibly angry at everything. Even themselves.

Lump of Sunshine and Rainbows
This flesh colored rubbery lump will bleed a luminescent multicolored liquid when cut, ripped open, or otherwise damaged. The liquid evaporates into nothing after about 1 minute and the light it emits is equivalent to a mundane torch. The damaged lump eventually repairs itself, but in the process any color in the surround area is absorbed, leaving behind a dulled, muted colors, or a stark grey spot if the lump if left in a single place for a long time.

>>4116128
This works until the next person says "That's not true" at which point the person believe THAT person entirely.

>>4109376

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html

Towel of Blood Soaking
When you beat up a hooker, you can use this mystical shammie to soak up the blood, thereby avoiding nasty brown stains on your carpet!

Hat of Returning

When the wielder throws the hat, it loops back onto the wearers head.

Had a bard that loved to finish perform checks with that.

Scroll of uninterrupted villainous monologue. Surrounds the user and up to 5 targets in individual bubbles that cannot be broken or pierced. All sound other then the user's voice in the targets' bubbles is silenced.

Ring of Grievous Mass (AKA The Coyote's Revenge)

Resembles, and identifies as, a Ring of Feather Falling. When activated, the wearer acts as an object with a mass of approximately 3 tons.

The wearer will appear to hang in the air for five seconds and a small sign reading "YIKES!" will appear in the wearer's hand. The wearer will then proceed to plummet to the ground at terminal velocity with a loud whistling sound. The impact will be very quiet and produce a large cloud of dust.

Foon of Eating: When placed near prepared food and the command word is spoken, the Foon of Eating delivers portions of said food to the user's mouth allowing him to eat without the use of his hands.

>>4116356 GRIEVOUS MASS

DEAR GOD I WANT THIS SO BAD. 3 TONNES !? Are you off your goddamn rocker god damn I could do so many things with this I mean holy shit. All you'd need would be something really hard (a suit of plate mail, or hell, even a rock) and something or someone to wear the ring and hold onto the hard thing.

Suddenly AIN'T SO FUNNY NOW IS IT, BITCH.

Also, traps. I mean holy shit.

>>4109760
Whole Coca-Cola Bottle
I just it'd.

Sentient tatoo
This is a tattoo resembling some sort of animal, it moves across the skin in a rather painfull manner instantly restitching itself as it moves. It feeds off of pigments in your skin causing you to become rather pale without constantly being out in the sun. However it does clean your skin up seemingly eating up any unsightly blemishes. If you have been treating it well it might even stitch up cuts for you.

Invisible Legos of De-Equip Shoes

>>4112952
"Wow that half-orcs kinda hot...for a half-orc, I guess. Is that right? Am I allowed to find a half-orc hot? Would that make our kid a quarter-orc? Or do you just stop using the fractions after half? I've never met a QUARTER-Elf, and there are some hot half-elves. Why is everyone staring at me?"

Can of Whoop-ass
Upon opening this can, every enemy within 30' of the bearer takes 3d10 damage vs Reflex. Save does half damage.

Boots of Spinning
All run actions cause the wearer to leap 5' into the air, and spin their legs while a tumbling sound is made, before continuing the movement normally at +3 speed.

Boots of Ninja Running
All run actions are now completely awesome. Once per encounter, you can perform a run action as an interrupt, and end your run action adjacent to a creature, regardless of their speed or yours.

Staff of Awesome
You can invoke this item to become awesome. This effect lasts until the end of the day.

ring of weakness
makes anyone but the owner lose 1 str point in 5d20 foot radius

>>4116158
Guess what angry marines use as grenades.
>>4116356
lrn2physics you wouldn't fall any faster weighing 3 tons than you would 150 pounds. Feather fall is basically either cranking down personal gravity or employing some sort of magical, invisible parachute.

>>4116755
They might fall at the same rate but they will hit the ground much harder.

>>4112848
Ring of Irritating Monologue
While wearing this ring, the users thoughts are narrated by the irritating voice of Gilbert Gottfried.

Metric Clock - This timepiece has ten digits on its face and two hands. The clocks measure ten hours of ten minute hours and are utterly baffling. Attempting to decipher or convert the mysterious intervals of time results in obsession and madness unless a successful Save vs. R/S/W is made.

Rod of Illusions: This rod can cast any spell with the "illusion" descriptor an unlimited number of times. Unfortunately, the resulting spell is invisible and inaudible to everyone except the wielder.

Sash of the Wuxia: When making an unarmed jump attack, you appear to fly towards your target as though held by invisible wires. This has no mechanical effect on the attack or the Jump roll.

Potion of Refreshment: This translucent colored liquid rehydrates you more effectively than normal water and contains a full day's worth of your recommended daily value of antioxidants. Other than being lightly flavored, however, it functions exactly as water.

Rod of Cancellation: This poorly designed magic item cancels its own effect.

Longsword of fragging: Keen Vorpal Longsword +4, but only when used against superiors, suborinates, friends, family, team-mates, etc (DM's discretion). Otherwise acts as a longsword +1.

Rod of Xom:
Roll 1d3
1- Roll on Net Libram of Random Magical Effects Table.
2- Roll on Standard Rod of Wonder Table.
3- Flip a coin, then roll on mutation table(Is there one? Should I make one?), heads affects target; tails affects user, reverse effect on next roll of three within 24 hours.

>>4109376
It's made by gnomes. You know the gnomes always make good stuff,

Buxomize. Rx pill.

Increases users bust size.

>>4117552
Like brass-knuckles of whore-punching to take the effort out of beating whores?

bump

Tooth of Xom

It's basically a strong dagger with a massive speed boost(but only for attacking)but has no noticeable effects on the target until they die(it can't interrupt anything or cause wounds). As you use it, the chance of something that it will be completely useless against appearing increases.

Based off an experience I had in Garden of Colored Lights. I used only the Tooth of Xom, and died against the boss because it was shooting too many bullets for me to get close.

>>4117442
Buy it for a little gold, then sell it to a bad guy to keep his underlings in line for a lot of gold.

>>4116755

What are you, a fucking retard? Do you think "Coyote's Revenge" was thrown in there just as some random thing? Or the whole bit with the sign?

Shit, I know we've got some slow people here, but you take the cake.

td;dr - lrn2classiccartoons, retard.

bump

a d6 and a d7 gets you results between 2-13 which is twelve results....moron

Fantasy Shamwow vs Water Colossus.
=
Summon Water Colossus.

>>4118090

>can hold up to 10 gallons of any liquid

Puddy of Resistance

The more force you apply to it, the more it resists. It's basically magical corn starch mixed with water.

>>4118090
>>4118333
I wonder what happens when you mix corn starch with a water colossus.

>>4109986

gloves of water walking

>>4118074
it becomes a fucking bell curve dumbass. the chances of getting a 2 are 1/42.

>>4109376
going back to the shamwow towel. What would happen if you used it to absorb something that has been melted into a liquid?

Would you release liquid metal if you wrung it an indefinite amount of time later. Or would the metal solidify within the towel? Would solid metal "flow" out?

>>4118433
I don't think it's meant to be taken that seriously, but probably.

>>4112848
>While wearing this ring, the users thoughts are narrated by the synchronized voices of Fran Drescher and Gilbert Gottfried

fix'd

Ring of Invisibility:
A ring that is invisible and can only be found through a thorough search check and feeling where the ring is. The ring does not grant the user invisibility.

Ring of Minor Invisibility:
When put on, this grants the user to go invisible, although he is limited to the finger he put the ring on.

Skeleton Key:
A special key fashioned from a skeleton's bones. However, it is unable to open any locks and easily can turn to dust.

Golden amulet of hirsuteness

Wearing this amulet around your neck will cause you to develop excessive swarthy body hair. It will only remain active while a significant amount of chest is showing

>>4118378
Non-Newtonian Ooze Golem. DR 20, does 2x damage with all non-grappling unarmed attacks.

Amulet of Life Losing
When worn, this amulet causes the wearer to give up his job and sit around all day.

Amulet of Life Savings
This amulet confers to the wearer a significant sum of gold, to be payed out when the wearer retires.

Amulet of Life Savers
Contained within the amulet are a number of fruity pieces of toroidal sweets.

Oh hey guys, here to completely fix your problem. Roll 1d20, reroll a roll of 14-20. done.

>>4119108
>>4109986

Amulet of Insecurity:

Equipping this amulet makes you painfully aware of the size of your rear end. In addition, you must pass a will save whenever you put on a new piece of clothing. Failure results in 1d4 rounds spent asking your allies "does this chainmail make me look fat?"

>>4118660
>While wearing this ring, the user's thoughts are narrated by the asynchronous voices of Fran Drescher and Gilbert Gottfried.

Double fixed.