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  • File :1238900681.png-(28 KB, 600x400, dorfpause10.png)
    28 KB Dorf Quest XXXII Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/04/09(Sat)23:04 No.4186919  
    PAUSE SCREEN
    Archives: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Dorf%20Quest
    BEARDBEARD GODSLAYER, Dorfen Berserker
    Current Quest(s): Found Kingdom, Return Home With Garrelf, Destroy Satan Arm.

    ALCOHOLISM: drunk
    GOLD: 29,725

    STATUS: Uninjured

    MUTATIONS:
    Vestigial Wings
    No Left Eye
    3rd eye on back
    Webbed Hands
    Three Breath
    Poison Immunity
    Scales

    INVENTORY:
    Iron Axe
    +8/+10 Two Handed Axe of the Pit
    1 Torch
    Overworld Map
    Hydra Armor
    Stone of Ionus
    Wooden Leg
    Map to Beardbeard's Kingdom
    Golden Sceptre
    Antimagic Bird Cage
    Dragon Hide

    Party:
    Garrelf Swiftrip, Faerie Fighter
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:06 No.4186931
    Headbutt that person in front of you.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/04/09(Sat)23:06 No.4186938
         File :1238900816.png-(40 KB, 600x400, 1.png)
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    Where we left off, GARRELF had just been located, and many drinks were had.

    PRESLEY approaches. He apologizes for overhearing your conversation, but asks if he and Cheska be allowed to come with when the two of you try to get out of the shadow realm.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:07 No.4186939
    Dorf quest? After SDF got banned for questan? Ballsy, I like it.

    Then again, it seems like some of the trolls got banned today, so we'll see how this goes.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:07 No.4186943
    Fuck year, dorf quest!

    We should ask around about the nature of the shadow realm to figure out how to get out of it.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:07 No.4186949
    Convert Garrelf to worship Satan.

    You're just his buddy, but if he has a follower in trouble, he will surely help!
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:08 No.4186955
    >>4186939
    SDF got banned for entirely unrelated reasons.

    Let's drop this discussion now, it's stupid.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:08 No.4186959
    >>4186938
    Ask how much that is worth to him in cold hard gold or performable services for a dorf kingdom.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:09 No.4186961
    >>4186938
    "Sure, whatever. The more the merrier."
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:09 No.4186963
    >>4186938

    Tell him if he can help us, he can come with when we break out.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:09 No.4186964
    KEEP GOING, QUESTFAGS.

    No matter how many times you fuckers get banned for this shit, keep it up, Beardbeard and Joan are the highlights of my week. Better than my weekly D&D and WoD games, even.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:10 No.4186974
    >>4186964
    No, honestly, don't start any drama. Let's just roll with this.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/04/09(Sat)23:10 No.4186980
         File :1238901042.png-(341 KB, 600x2456, illustraded manual.png)
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    >>4186939
    I've got a schedule to keep.

    >>4186949
    I saw this question coming a mile away. Edu-tainment comic incoming, courtesy of Mah-mee!

    Yes, her outfit was always like that. No I am not trying to fix the fact that she looked like Cultist's twin mother.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:11 No.4186984
    >>4186964

    I agree, it gives me shit to drawfag when I am bored.

    Also, see if Presley is wearing a wig.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:12 No.4186996
    >>4186980
    Yeah I bet you saw that coming, with us talking about this all the time and everything.

    Oh well. Inquire Presley if he happened to know a way out.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:13 No.4187004
    >>4186996

    I'm guessing since he's trapped here he doesn't, but he might have some valuable info that we can use to escape.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:13 No.4187010
    Hey can we finally take temporary control of Kav and make her worship Heracles now?
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:14 No.4187013
    >>4187004
    Maybe he's just so stupid he doesn't understand he has keys to freedom. Or so weak he can't fight the guardian or whatever there inevitably is.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:14 No.4187022
    >>4187010
    Maybe she's still at the elven city, whatever its name was, Garrelf's home. We can pick her up when we get out of this shithole.
    >> NuBlackAnon !!z6ldXGL61Wm 04/04/09(Sat)23:15 No.4187024
         File :1238901316.png-(7 KB, 600x600, 600px-United_Earth_Federation_(...).png)
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    >>4186919
    report, sage, move on
    drawfag go home
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:15 No.4187026
    Have we tried asking Xom for help in our situation?
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:16 No.4187032
    >>4187026

    He'd probably animate our axe to attack us. You don't ask Xom for stuff, he gives it to you regardless of if you want it or not.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:17 No.4187035
    >>4187026
    I doubt he can help either.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/04/09(Sat)23:17 No.4187042
         File :1238901448.png-(28 KB, 600x400, 2.png)
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    >>4186963
    "I'll gladly do what I can!" he proclaims.

    >>4186959
    "A kingdom you say? I would be honored to serve as court bard!"

    >>4186996
    "A way out? No, but I do know that we Shadar-Kai can't leave without new gauntlets. That would be a good first stop."
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:18 No.4187049
    >>4187042
    Then let's head for Ye Olde Gauntlets Shoppe!
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:18 No.4187055
    I don't mind DorfQuest (SDF wasn't banned, he deleted the topic). Gnome is actually a reasonable person and not a total dickface.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:18 No.4187056
    >>4187042
    Try praying, can we communicate to gods in here? Maybe we can convince Satan to help us out with some new gauntlets.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:18 No.4187057
    >>4187042
    Can you also cook? I mean, if the whole bard thing doesn't work out?
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:19 No.4187060
    >>4187042

    Hmm, does that mean non-shadra-kai can leave whenever they want?

    Ask about what Shadra-kai bracers are like, how they are made/gotten, etc-
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:20 No.4187068
    >>4187055
    Actually, he was banned. I've talked with him since.

    Saging because I'm off topic and LET'S NOT GO FURTHER INTO THAT.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:20 No.4187070
    >>4187042
    ASK HIM TO ROCK OUT TO SUMMON SATAN.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:21 No.4187075
    Become a Shadar-Kai! It's a logical conclusion! Garrelf is stronger than us otherwise!
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:21 No.4187076
    >>4187055
    He was banned for ten days for "bs posting"

    Talk with mods over IRC has led people to assume he was banned for being a drawfag/quest giver/whatever.

    >>4187049
    Seconding this
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:21 No.4187078
    >>4187070
    Help by playing drums via headbutting.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/04/09(Sat)23:22 No.4187083
         File :1238901764.png-(23 KB, 600x400, 3.png)
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    >>4187049
    >Then let's head for Ye Olde Gauntlets Shoppe!
    5000 GOLD PER PAIR? WHAT.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:23 No.4187091
    >>4187083
    That's all right, we've got money!
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:23 No.4187092
    >>4187083

    Drinking contest for half price.

    Regardless, buy two pairs and let's go start a kingdom!
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:23 No.4187093
    >>4187083
    Steal it. Who's gonna stop you? We killed a god.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:24 No.4187096
    >>4187093
    >We killed a god.

    This. We can do whatever we want. WHO'S EVER GONNA STOP US? HUH?!
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:24 No.4187097
    >>4187083
    Use "Dwarven Diplomacy".
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:24 No.4187100
    >>4187083
    Hostile negotiations or sell Presley and/or Cheska into slavery, whichever seems easier.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:24 No.4187104
    >>4187096

    I suppose this does fit Chaotic Evil...
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:24 No.4187107
    >>4187083
    Smack Cleark to establish dominance
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:25 No.4187110
    >>4187083
    Make Garrelf play card games for money.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:25 No.4187111
    PRESLEY CAPABILITY CARD
    >> NuBlackAnon !!z6ldXGL61Wm 04/04/09(Sat)23:25 No.4187116
         File :1238901944.jpg-(741 KB, 1581x2279, 1234989421935.jpg)
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    >>4187068
    mods = gods yet again
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:27 No.4187128
    Kill guy who's selling it and then steal it.
    >>4187116
    Didn't you say you were going to "move on"?
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:29 No.4187145
    >>4187128
    Sshh.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/04/09(Sat)23:29 No.4187150
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    >>4187096
    >>4187104
    You attempt to get away with the goods!
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:29 No.4187152
    What are the gauntlets made of, and how much shit do we need to kill to make a new pair of them?
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:30 No.4187157
    >>4187150
    This so isn't going to end well.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:30 No.4187159
    >>4187150

    We're stealing two pairs right?
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:31 No.4187169
    >>4187157
    Duh. But it fits the character.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:31 No.4187170
    >>4187159
    Apparently. Beardbeard is seeing the benefits of being a Shadar-Kai.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/04/09(Sat)23:32 No.4187179
         File :1238902339.png-(63 KB, 600x400, 6.png)
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    >>4187157
    The clerk is unhappy with this development.

    >>4187159
    Yes, two pairs.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:32 No.4187183
    >>4187170

    I meant one for Garrelf, one for Presley, there's no way we would become a filthy fae.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:32 No.4187188
    >>4187179
    IT'S GO TIME BITCHES.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:32 No.4187189
    >>4187179
    Fuck it, we killed a god. Kill the asshole.

    Can Garrelf use his shadow powers in here?
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:33 No.4187195
    >>4187179

    Deforest his bracers!
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:33 No.4187198
    >>4187179
    EVERYBODY GANG UP ON HIM.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:34 No.4187208
    >>4187179

    Oh god damnit, the clerk is Shadar-kai?

    We could fight with our backs to the wall, to prevent rushes and teleportation, then dice him up when he charges in.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:34 No.4187209
    >>4187179
    Give the clerk your best evil stare in order to establish dominance.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/04/09(Sat)23:35 No.4187217
         File :1238902549.png-(56 KB, 600x400, 7.png)
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    He calls over his bouncers and asks you politely to leave, adding that you three are now banned from his shoppe for life.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:35 No.4187218
    >>4187208
    >Oh god damnit, the clerk is Shadar-kai?

    Wouldn't that make just perfect sense?
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:35 No.4187219
    Hey Gnome as soon as we are able to can we get our party with the gods? Haracles for Kav, Satan for Garrelf and Presley, Ra for Mado.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:36 No.4187229
    >>4187217
    ...Yeah.

    Apologise him kindly. Ask if you could still buy those. Surely he wouldn't deny a paying customer?

    Promise him you'll never return after that.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:37 No.4187234
    >>4187219
    We've been talking about it pretty much. I think this will be the next thing to do.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:37 No.4187235
    >>4187217
    GOOD FUCKING LUCK YOU UNDORFLY PIECE OF SHIT.

    UNLOAD ON HIM. RIGHT FUCKING NOW. AXE ALE BEARD PRIDE
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:38 No.4187239
    >>4187217
    DEFORESTATION upon them all.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:38 No.4187244
    >>4187217

    So going back to the manufacture of the gauntlets, what are they made of, and what horrible shadow beast do we need to kill in order to gather the materials?

    Alternately, how do we get another SATAN ARM, so we can bring Xom's vengeance to this place?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/04/09(Sat)23:38 No.4187249
         File :1238902739.png-(34 KB, 600x400, 4.png)
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    >>4187219
    The Shadow Realm is devoid of godly access. God powers do not work here, and therefore, there are no temples to convert at.

    >>4187229
    He accepts your terms. 10,000 GP and one life time ban later, you now have a pair of gauntlets for your friends.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:40 No.4187259
    >>4187249
    Cool, now can we leave? This place is boring. Not a tree to deforest in sight!
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:40 No.4187264
    If Presley comes with us we'll need to get him a Hawaiian shirt.
    >> MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA WryQuest: Indifinte Hold 04/04/09(Sat)23:40 No.4187265
    >>4187116
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    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:41 No.4187266
    >>4187249

    Oh man, Presley is hot.

    Can we just leave now? I bet we have to fight some sort of gatekeeper now.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:42 No.4187272
    >>4187265
    if you must destroy a thread, add images so they can't do their shitty artwork/collective masturbation, if you MUST
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:43 No.4187282
    >>4187272
    Don't temp him. Just ignore.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:45 No.4187302
    >>4187264
    Style comes first.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/04/09(Sat)23:46 No.4187316
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    >>4187259
    >>4187266
    >lets GTFO

    Not really sure where to start on that, Beardbeard and company begin to ask arou- oh fuck.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:48 No.4187323
    >>4187316

    What god have we pissed off?
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:49 No.4187330
    >>4187323
    Don't say that, he might come to help us.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/04/09(Sat)23:49 No.4187331
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    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:50 No.4187344
    >>4187331

    Oh hey queeny, we were just lubing your hubby up for you.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:50 No.4187347
    >>4187331
    Would that be the queen?

    She'll bring us back!
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:51 No.4187349
    >>4187316
    I know that the light blue represents godly action... or at least it did in some cases. ...this could be very bad.

    Wave your axe threateningly at it.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/04/09(Sat)23:51 No.4187350
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    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/04/09(Sat)23:52 No.4187360
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    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:52 No.4187361
    >>4187350
    Don't you dare dump Beardbeard into this place, you wench!
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:52 No.4187363
    >>4187350

    Garrelf, make sure she brings us too.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:52 No.4187364
    >>4187350
    Grab onto Garrelf for he's transported away and you're left there.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:53 No.4187366
    >>4187360
    Man, what a bitch.

    We need a new quest. To assassinate her.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:53 No.4187367
    >>4187331
    MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T SUCH A SELFISH LITTLE CUNT THAT TRIED TO HELP ME FIX THINGS, YOU WOULDN'T BE STUCK HERE ANYMORE.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/04/09(Sat)23:54 No.4187374
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    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:54 No.4187378
    >>4187374
    It's cool. Garrelf has our back.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:54 No.4187384
    >>4187374
    No good deed goes unpunished, now let that be a lesson to you Beardbeard.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:55 No.4187385
    >>4187374

    ...

    So... Presley, know any good songs?
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:55 No.4187388
    New quest: Make Garelf the bachelor king of elfland.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/04/09(Sat)23:56 No.4187399
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    Beardbeard is pissed.

    Beardbeard.

    Is.

    Mother.

    Fucking.

    PISSED.

    Berserker rage activated.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:57 No.4187407
    >>4187399
    BREAK DOWN THE WALLS OF REALITY WITH YOUR RAGE!

    Actually, have you ever read Dragonball? At one point, Buu screamed so loud it really DID break walls of reality. Do this. Now.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:57 No.4187408
    >>4187399
    Reach through spacetime and punch everyone responsible.
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:57 No.4187409
    >>4187399

    Tear a fucking hole in this shit-fucking shadow realm!
    >> Anonymous 04/04/09(Sat)23:58 No.4187415
    >>4187399
    BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THIS ENTIRE REALM.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/04/09(Sat)23:59 No.4187425
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    >>4187364
    Beardbeard grabs the teleportation's hanging trail!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:00 No.4187427
    >>4187425
    Oh yeah, BRACE FOR IMPACT!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:01 No.4187439
    >>4187116
    You're next.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:01 No.4187441
    >>4187425

    RIP AND TEAR
    RIP AND TEAR
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:02 No.4187444
    >>4187439
    No really. Shush. Sshh.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:02 No.4187445
    >>4187425

    TEAR YOURSELF A NEW PORTAL, ALLOWING YOU TO NOT ONLY ESCAPE, BUT ALSO ALLOWING THE ARMIES OF THE SHADOW REALM TO FLOW INTO THE ROYAL BEDCHAMBERS.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:02 No.4187450
    >>4187445
    AT THE WORST POSSIBLE MOMENT, TOO!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)00:03 No.4187452
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    If Beardbeard could hear, he would know that sound right now is a very very bad sound. But he is berserking, and notices no such noise.

    The warp hole is torn asunder.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:03 No.4187460
    >>4187452
    Eugh, this strangely reminds me of Goatse.

    Make the bitch pay for what she did to us. Fuck disintegration, we have a surprise advantage.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:04 No.4187466
    >>4187452

    Horrors of the warp!

    Also, grab Presley by the neck and drag him through with us
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:05 No.4187470
    >>4187452
    Knock it up a notch, set berserk to the MAX.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:05 No.4187476
    >>4187452
    Stretch it a bit more...

    A bit more...

    A bit more...

    A bit mor- DRAG THE WHOLE FUCKING ELVEN CITY TO THE SHADOW REALM!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)00:06 No.4187485
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    You charge forward and start squeezing the nearest neck. The blood bursting and the bones cracking rings in your ears - the only sound you can notice in your bloodlust.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:07 No.4187497
    >>4187452
    ...yell at your new friend to jump throught he portal. Or to jump through after you. Though hopefully, he knows to do that himself.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:07 No.4187501
    Does this mean Beardbeard will gain the new ability: Reality Goatse?

    Because that would be awesome.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:07 No.4187503
    >>4187485
    But then, just as the queen dies, Garrelf understands...

    He really did love her.

    Beardbeard must pay.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:08 No.4187508
    >>4187485
    Continue to express your anger in the proper dorf way, they shall pay.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:08 No.4187509
    >>4187485

    20 bucks says it's cultist
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)00:08 No.4187510
         File :1238904513.png-(62 KB, 600x400, 17.png)
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    Something has attacked Beardbeard.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:08 No.4187516
    >>4187485

    Who the hell is it?

    Also, if the shadow realm subsumes the elf city, Beardbeard will have fucked up two cities, lol
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:09 No.4187526
    >>4187510

    I don't know if I like where this is going...
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:09 No.4187528
    >>4187509
    Mado. I bet.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)00:10 No.4187538
         File :1238904637.png-(83 KB, 600x400, 18.png)
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    Beardbeard counter attacks.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:10 No.4187540
    >>4187510
    ATTACK IT BACK

    FUCK THIS ISN'T ROCKET SCIENCE
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:11 No.4187545
    >>4187538
    And that was how Garrelf died.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:11 No.4187546
    >>4187528
    Whoever it is it's someone we don't want dead.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:11 No.4187551
    >>4187538
    Revel in your rage
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:12 No.4187554
    >>4187546
    Beardbeard doesn't care.

    I'm betting I'll be on verge of tears when berserk ends.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:12 No.4187556
    >>4187538

    Although I am sure that this is going to suck balls for us. We are fucking BERSERKING right now, so I guess just RIP AND TEAR until nothing else moves.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:12 No.4187562
    >>4187538

    Did...did Bearbeard just rip his attacker into multiple pieces?

    DON'T NEED AN AXE! AXES ARE FOR PUSSIES!

    RIP AND TEAR
    RIP AND TEAR
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:13 No.4187565
    STOP IT'S ALDWIN!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)00:14 No.4187569
         File :1238904840.png-(81 KB, 600x400, 19.png)
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    Beardbeard attacks the assailant with its arm.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:14 No.4187573
    If he kills anyone we know, I don't want to play as Beardbeard anymore.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:14 No.4187580
    >>4187569
    Why'd he do that? His own hands are better.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:15 No.4187583
    >>4187569
    KILL THE PINK ONE
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:15 No.4187591
    >>4187569
    FINISH HIM
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:16 No.4187594
    oh god this can not end well.

    He just killed cultist didn't he?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:16 No.4187595
    I'm hoping Presley is smart enough to stay on the other end of the portal until THE RAGE ends. I'm fairly sure the hole in reality is permanent, anyway.

    FOR BEARDBEARD, LIFE IS A SUCCESSION OF MAKING NEW FRIENDS. IN ORDER FOR THIS TO OCCUR, ALL OLD AQUAINTANCES MUST BE PERIODICALLY RIPPED INTO FUCKING SHREDS
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:16 No.4187599
    Fuck! calm the fuck down! start attack yourself!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:16 No.4187601
    >>4187594

    If this is Cultist and Aldwin, then next week will have no protagonists to play :(
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)00:16 No.4187602
         File :1238905017.png-(91 KB, 600x400, 20.png)
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    AH BLUE PAIN.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:17 No.4187611
    >>4187602
    FUCK NO

    PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY.

    I THINK YOU HAVE TO KILL THE FUCK OUT OF THE PINK ONE
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:17 No.4187613
    >>4187602
    DELICIOUS ! EAT THE BLUE PAIN! !
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:18 No.4187615
    >>4187602

    Apparently we didn't crush her throat HARD ENOUGH.

    OBLIGE THE LADY, WILL YOU?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:18 No.4187617
    >>4187602
    Direct anger at source.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:18 No.4187619
    >>4187601
    Cultist doesn't know how to shoot stuff: >>4187602

    Pain is okay, it means you're still alive!

    But it still fucking hurts! Kill those who hurt you!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:18 No.4187620
    >>4187602
    REMEMBER WHAT NEMELEX XOBEH SAID! TRY AND FIGURE OUT WHO YOUR ATTACKERS ARE BEFORE RIPPING THEM TO SHREDS! USE THAT ONE FUCKING DOT OF LOGIC YOU LITTLE FUCKER!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:19 No.4187627
    This is worse that I thousand drama pregnancies!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:20 No.4187629
    >>4187620

    Actually, check the card, Beardbeard has 0 logic points
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:20 No.4187633
    >>4187629
    GOD DAMN IT THEN.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:20 No.4187635
    >>4187620
    SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE, THIS IS RIGHTEOUS BERSERKING.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)00:21 No.4187637
         File :1238905268.png-(80 KB, 600x400, 21.png)
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    Suddenly life is so clear. The rage has faded - and Beardbeard has never felt more calm in his entire life.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:23 No.4187647
    >>4187637
    KILL THAT FUCKING BITCH

    RIGHT FUCKING NOW

    SHE WILL KNOW ALL THAT BETRAY DORFS ARE FUCKED.

    AND THEN WE REZ GARRELF. AGAIN. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE DO.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:23 No.4187648
    >>4187637
    inform your new friend that it's safe to exit the shadowrelm now. Then calmly get up, and start heading back to your wonderful mountain kingdom.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:23 No.4187649
    >>4187637
    Walk away, you don't need these mooks, they'll just betray you again later.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:23 No.4187650
    >>4187637
    Oh, thank god, it was just our best friend and his wife who we mortally wounded.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:23 No.4187654
    >>4187637
    Apologize but making if fucking clear never to leave us again like that.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:23 No.4187655
    >>4187637
    ...Yeah, nice.

    Faint due to exhaustion. Wake up in a cell, put in shackles.

    I'm not sure I want to have Beardbeard as the protagonist anymore, though.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:24 No.4187658
    >>4187637
    Not sure whne it will happen, but when it does come time to speak, tell the queen in a quiet, even voice, that you have killed a GOD, and while he will gladly do favors for you, you do NOT. FUCK. WITH. BEARDBEARD.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:24 No.4187661
    >>4187637
    Just leave. You're above these two. You're above revenge.

    Head back to the mountains and found your own kingdom with the money you have left.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:25 No.4187665
    >>4187637

    As long as the elf bitch can still fire MIND BULLETS she's a threat. Maybe if we take one of her arms away we can avoid any more problems from her direction.

    Also, it's technically HER fault that Garelf is a corpse again. DOUBLE VENGEANCE.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:25 No.4187668
    >>4187657
    Oh please, he only lost an arm. I'm sure he's fine.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)00:26 No.4187673
         File :1238905573.png-(79 KB, 600x400, 22.png)
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    >>4187647
    Beardbeard isn't angry right now.

    >>4187649
    Beardbeard walks away.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:26 No.4187674
    >>4187637
    >>4187661

    I second this, just pull Presley through the portal and leave, no need to say anything to that bitch.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:27 No.4187682
    >>4187673
    I think I might want to switch control to Garrelf or queen now.

    ...I never remember the queen's name.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:27 No.4187688
    >>4187682

    Arialla, but fuck that, we have a kingdom to found.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:27 No.4187689
    >>4187655
    You know your life is over when you stop enjoying fine Dorfen violence.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)00:28 No.4187695
         File :1238905687.png-(81 KB, 600x400, 22.png)
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    Presley follows Beardbeard.

    >>4187682
    Arialla.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:28 No.4187699
    >>4187673
    Inform Presley that his first job as the new Royal Bard is to write a song about the fate of elvish traitors.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:28 No.4187703
    Fuck did you see that blue portal? DONT WALK RUN!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:28 No.4187704
    To be honest, the queen can rez Garelf herself, assuming she survives having her throat crushed. Why should we waste our money when he attacked us after the elf made such a bitch move?

    Bros over Hos, man.

    Also, don't forget Presley. We need a new wisecracking sidekick.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:29 No.4187709
    >>4187673
    Well, if we wantt o fuck over the queen, we seem to ahve left a negative space wedgie in her palace.

    Considering what happened the last time we left something behind [Xom Blessed Arm], she's proper fucked.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:30 No.4187718
    >>4187695
    Appreciate your new life free from useless baggage, grab an ale at the nearest tavern.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:31 No.4187726
    >>4187699

    Yes, he must write us a legendary ballad about all of our conquests.

    Now, we need to name our kingdom. Someone mentioned Buzzardloved in the Spires of Madness once I remember.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)00:31 No.4187729
         File :1238905908.png-(30 KB, 600x400, 23.png)
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    Control has switched to a very angry Garrelf.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:32 No.4187731
    >>4187695
    Now that I have time to think about it, did we ever have that dragon armor forged? We should go see about that. Maybe give it to our new Royal Bard. Because our Bards travel in style, mother fuckers.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:32 No.4187733
    >>4187729
    Realize that nobody in history has ever screwed over a Dorf as badly as that stupid cunt has, and this is really her fault.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:33 No.4187736
    >>4187729
    Mind Arialla first. It'll be trouble if she dies.

    ...Are you angry because you were hurt, or because SHE was hurt?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:33 No.4187737
    >>4187726
    Hey! I'm the guy who created Buzzardloved! Man, that was one fucked up fort. I am still ashamed that I lost it's save file somehow.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:33 No.4187739
    >>4187729
    Cheer up emoelf
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:34 No.4187747
    >>4187729
    OH FUCK!

    ASK THAT HO TO HEAL YOUR ARM! THEN GO AFTER THAT STUNTY BITCH!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:34 No.4187750
    >>4187729
    Tend to your queen!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:35 No.4187754
    >>4187747
    I think you should deal with your wife's CRUSHED TRACHEA first.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:35 No.4187760
    >>4187754
    Garrelf never cared about his wife.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:36 No.4187767
    >>4187760
    That was a while ago. Things may have changed. Perhaps seeing her about to die has made him realize something...
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:37 No.4187777
    >>4187760
    yes, but I think it would be hard for her to heal you with a crushed throat. Also, you're the king of an Elf kingdom. If you lose the queen, things will probably look bad. Either way, time to raise some motherfucking regiments and lay siege to a certain recently formed mountain home.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)00:38 No.4187780
         File :1238906292.png-(47 KB, 600x400, 24.png)
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    >>4187736
    Well he rushed to her aid the moment she was in trouble. Beardbeard has crossed an uncrossable line today. Garrelf wants his head.

    Garrelf does his best to help her breath clearly. By the sound of her ragged gasps, her voice has likely been permanently damaged.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:38 No.4187783
    >>4187767
    That would be shit. And completely out of character.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:39 No.4187787
    >>4187780
    HE DOES CARE!

    This made the whole incident worth it! Squee!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:39 No.4187790
    >>4187729

    Regardless of whether Arialla dies, it's important that our status as the Royal Consort/King is firmly established. If we can get away with becoming the sole ruler of elfland, all the better.

    Remember, the first rule of being a sociopath is ME ME ME.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:40 No.4187793
    >>4187780
    SEE CLERIC. RAISE REGIMENTS

    :ADVICE ELF:

    SIEGE BEARDBEARD'S NEW KINGDOM
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:40 No.4187796
    >>4187780
    ...for some strange reason, I now imagine her old voice was very high pitched and annoying, so this might be an improvement. But anyway, seek out a cleric, or medic, in the palace [I assume we are in the palace] to help out queenie. ...and tend to your severed arm.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:41 No.4187799
    >>4187780
    Return to the elf kingdom and order a fucking royal hunt for beardbeard.

    ITS BEARD SCALPING SEASON!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:41 No.4187801
    >>4187780
    >By the sound of her ragged gasps, her voice has likely been permanently damaged.

    If we can cure things like dismembered hands, death, and even love, I'm sure we can fix such a little thing.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:45 No.4187822
    >>4187801
    This is probably a plot driven injury, not curable by normal means.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)00:47 No.4187835
         File :1238906826.png-(37 KB, 600x400, 25.png)
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    >>4187787
    While we temporarily have SEE INTO GARRELF'S MIND powers, he does care - about as much as an emotionless creature can. Really, a spellcaster who can't speak is useless - and this spellcaster is both powerful, loyal, and commands a nation. She has everything he does care about - beauty, power, and loyalty.

    >>4187793
    Garrelf rushes himself and his wife to a cleric, as soon as he is sure walking won't kill her.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:47 No.4187836
    >>4187783
    How so, out of character? I can imagine some evil characters actually caring about one or two specific people. And doing horrible things to others FOR those people.

    Or hey, caring for a certain GROUP of people. Like a mafia situation.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:47 No.4187838
         File :1238906852.jpg-(374 KB, 692x2170, 051205.jpg)
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    >>4187822
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:48 No.4187842
    >>4187822
    dont know unless we try. We got mados memory back pretty easy.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:48 No.4187844
    >>4187836
    see >>4187835

    He is just using her. He's angry because Beardbeard broke a cool toy.

    A good punishment would be breaking his axe.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:48 No.4187847
    >>4187835
    >She has everything he does care about - beauty, power, and loyalty.

    And he has everything she does care about - a hot body and a large dong.

    Their relationship works just fine like that.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:49 No.4187853
    >>4187835
    might want to grab your arm with the expensive bracer.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:50 No.4187856
    >>4187835

    It's probably not a good idea to go after Beardbeard at the moment. For one, you're missing an arm and Arialla is useless as a spellcaster. And two, Beardbeard still has Shadar-Kai backup, and we can't beat them both alone.

    We're elves, patience is what we do. We know what Beardbeard's objectives are, and we know the usual places he goes to ground during downtime. We won't have any time finding him later, and when we do we can set the stage according to OUR whims.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:51 No.4187863
    >>4187835
    I wonder, how could Arialla cast that one spell if her throat was crushed?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)00:51 No.4187864
         File :1238907094.png-(55 KB, 600x400, 26.png)
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    Thwoop.

    The queen's royal chambers, including the tree of life and all her assets, seem to have suffered some extradimensional trauma.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:52 No.4187873
    >>4187864
    >tree of life

    Fuck.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)00:52 No.4187874
         File :1238907144.png-(31 KB, 600x400, 26.png)
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    The warp hole is now sealed.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:53 No.4187876
    >>4187864
    Maybe if she took the "don't let your spells cause planar interference because one midget ripped it open" feat, we wouldn't HAVE this problem.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:53 No.4187877
    >>4187856

    >>any time

    Meant to say any trouble. FUCK.

    Also, we should do something to close the webway portal in the bedroom.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:53 No.4187886
    >>4187864
    >tree of life
    Probably not important, plotting time now.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:55 No.4187900
    >>4187874
    >>4187864
    >tree of life

    I'm... I'm sorry, did we just fuck over the entire planet?

    I mean, it's not like I find it that unbelievable, I just want some confirmation here.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:57 No.4187914
    >>4187864
    Hmm you should go to cultist to get our wounds checked.

    Not that garelf knows what explosive info she has that could set aldiwn and his assassin guild against beardbeard. Nope not at all.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)00:59 No.4187921
    >>4187914
    I'm sure there are many great priests in the city, too, that'd be more than willing to help their queen.

    As for the assassins... I wonder what Nevada thinks of Beardbeard now?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)00:59 No.4187923
         File :1238907571.png-(121 KB, 600x400, 26.png)
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    >>4187900
    The tree of life is not as important as all that. The tree of life is so named because its fruit, when planted, grows living creatures, and its wood can be used as replacement body parts that Arialla can detect from anywhere in the multiverse, allowing her to always find Beardbeard due to his leg but not Garrelf.

    And, its gone now, so no free new arm for Garrelf either. Well, unless maybe that brand new growth, sprouting up right before your eyes, has something to do with anything.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:01 No.4187939
    >>4187921
    Ah yes but not many priests that knows cultist is pregnant. We get garelf to figure this out tell aldwin and we got a whole assassins guild hunting down beardbeard.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:01 No.4187941
    >>4187923
    The Tree is strong. It takes far more than that to kill it.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:01 No.4187942
    >>4187923
    That doesn't look like an evil version of the tree of life at all. All is well.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:01 No.4187944
    >>4187923
    >its fruit, when planted, grows living creatures

    OH GOD, IT'S THE SUNLESS CITADEL ALL OVER AGAIN!

    THE TWIGS! DEAR GOD THE TWIGS!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:01 No.4187946
    >>4187923

    I feel a war between the elven city and Beardbeard's new mountain fortress growing.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:01 No.4187947
    I haven't read any of the quests in a while, so I decided to catch up on this late Saturday night. And guess what?

    ZOMBIE FINLAY MAKES ME SHIT MY PANTS LIKE NO OTHER. Dear god. I don't think anything in Ruby Quest, as bizarre as it was, scared me this much.

    Now I can't sleep for another few hours. I love you Gnome.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:02 No.4187954
    >>4187923
    I suggest we back off cautiously.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:03 No.4187964
    >>4187923

    Man, Beardbeard sure knows how to fuck up cities.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:04 No.4187969
    >>4187947
    We never did confirm what happen to his body did we?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:04 No.4187970
    >>4187944
    This anon may have a point. If we are approached by any suspicious druids with overly large frog familiars, we should probably try and kill them, or at least put them through some kind of screening test.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)01:04 No.4187971
         File :1238907862.png-(151 KB, 600x400, 26.png)
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    >>4187954
    ...a good plan.

    Garrelf decides to STOP MUCKING ABOUT and get to a cleric.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:04 No.4187975
    >>4187944
    Sunless Citadel? HNNNNNNGGGGGGNN
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:05 No.4187981
    >>4187971

    Aw new temple to Satan, I mean, it's an elf city anyways.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:06 No.4187987
    >>4187971
    OH SHIT SATAN IS GETTING SOME REMODELING DONE!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:06 No.4187988
    >>4187971
    Oh, that's right! The elves all worship Satan now don't they? DARK ELVES UP IN THIS MOTHER!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:07 No.4187995
    >>4187971
    HAIL SATAN
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:07 No.4187998
    >>4187971

    I guess it would make sense that the original tree was a product of Glittergold, and the new tree is created according to the new deity.

    Satan is pleased.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:08 No.4188001
    >>4187971
    So, apparently, the Tree of Life has been replaced by... the Coat Rack of Satan.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:11 No.4188016
    At what point is Beardbeard going to gain divine rank on his own? THE MAN IS AN ENGINE OF DESTRUCTION.

    Possible domains could be Destruction, Chaos, and Ale.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:11 No.4188019
    >>4187971

    Question: If the elves try and seek revenge against Beardbeard, how will Satan take his followers trying to kill his BFF?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:12 No.4188025
    >>4188016

    IF he ever did ascend his domains would be Beards, Ale, Axes, and Pride.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:12 No.4188027
    After GARELF leaves the queen in the hands of nearest cleric MUSTER UP A HUNT!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:13 No.4188033
    >>4187975
    >>4187944
    Hi, I'm a Dragon Troll Priest thing! Trying to loot some crypts huh? Well, fuck you! SUCK MY THREE ATTACKS PER TURN! Oh, what's that? Your only level one? Well, better start rerolling motherfucker! Also, REGENERATION ALL UP IN THIS BITCH!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:14 No.4188054
    Can we get back to Beardbeard soon?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:15 No.4188059
    >>4188025
    Xom hasn't really done much for us.

    What would happen if Beardbeard changed religions? Power ups?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:15 No.4188061
    >>4188019
    He would remain strictly neutral in such conflict.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)01:16 No.4188066
         File :1238908576.jpg-(107 KB, 663x468, u2x64.tmp.jpg)
    107 KB
    >>4188001
    >the Coat Rack of Satan.
    Sounds par for the course.

    New thread: >>4188057

    Some zombie finlay fanart, from a friend.



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