>>4281495
>traps
>focus on crotchial region

Stop putting your fetishes into everything, man, it's just wrong.

This is a funny idea, but it will be even more funny if you have a full-fledged explanation of why such a place exists. Perhaps it is the ancient training ground of a sect of crotch-centric monks, as your picture suggests, or some kind of fertility temple.

>>4281538

...Goddamn it. Not those kind of traps! Why do I even bother writing in complete sentences for you people. I swear I'd have just as much luck running a goddamn petting zoo *mumble mumble mumble walks off and slams the door*

:O

Enemies should be short, and use clubs.

>>4281559

Yes! I totally have a good reason for it to be there. It's the abandoned temple of a failed anti-fertility cult. Why did it fail? Anti-fertility. They couldn't make more members. Sorta like the Quakers IRL, only more with the ball hitting and less with the chair making.

headbutting-kobolds, uprising pistons, spinning logs so they can fall crotch-first on it, and the DREADED KANDIRU!!! maybe surprise them when there's an impotency potion around (a more emotional attack)

A door/gate that requires teamwork to open:

One has to stand on two small stone plates and the door will slowly start to open (rising up) as long as there is pressure on the plates, but if one carelessly walks through the open door he will trigger the door-wide pressure plate trap that will cause the door to fall down and a small stone pillar will rise from the floor right in the middle of the two smaller stone plates = profit

9 iron;s not clubs

/roll 1d20

The only way to beat the final enemy in the temple is to defeat him in a game of Roshambo.

>>4281580

Kobalds, got it. Thanks :)

Also, I have this one trap in mind where a PC has to stand on a presure plate and pull down on a lever to open a door. Doing so makes an iron rod, 3.5 feet tall, rush out of the presure plate. A reflex save of 16+ is required to not get hit in the balls.

Failing the reflex save:
Fort save of 16+ to not scream like a little girl(and alert everyone in the next few rooms).
1d6 temp CHA damage
1d4 subdual damage
prone 1 round
Door opens

Passing the reflex save:
Door opens

This is the most hilarious idea in the world.

Seriously. How do level 1 adventurers survive do become level 2? They don't just go around stomping rats and kicking old ladies; they explore dangerous tombs! Dangerous, hilariously non-lethal tombs full of traps that bash them in the balls and generally humiliate them.

My only suggestion is to have a part of the dungeon with a heavy wooden portcullis sitting in a raised section of hall, such that the portcullis and the stone floor it's on are at about waist height to the adventurers. When someone tries to lift the portcullis, he unconsciously spreads his legs to brace for greater lifting power, and that's when the floor tile between his feet comes rocketing up at alarming speeds.

>>4281581
I think you mean the Shakers. The Quakers bred just fine.

What should be the penalty for ball shots? I'm thinking ball-shot traps should, in addition to dealing damage, impose nausea or stunning for a certain amount of rounds. Wouldn't mean much normally, but in combat that's pretty noticable. Maybe give the dungeon denizens a Ballshot encounter power to deal 1[W]+whatever damage and cause the same effect.

At the end of the dungeon, there should definitely be an item that grants a Ballshot encounter power.

>>4281559
long-forgotten anti-fertility goddess' temple (Abortia?)

>>4281607

My god, that's brilliant! Now I need to think of mechanics for instigating that. Maybe I can have the guy issue a challenge or something...

>Can you kick my PCs in the balls in fun and interesting ways?
I love you /tg/ don't change.

>>4281650

Or the afformentioned Kobalds on the other side with the 9 irons get him! I love this thread so much.

>>4281646
Reflex saves? Fort saves?

I thought you said this was 4e.

>>4281650
>
Seriously. How do level 1 adventurers survive do become level 2? They don't just go around stomping rats and kicking old ladies; they explore dangerous tombs! Dangerous, hilariously non-lethal tombs full of traps that bash them in the balls and generally humiliate them.
This sounds like a mangu in the making.

>>4281701

It is... I'm just so used to my old mechanics ;_; I can change!

>>4281672
Knight's Challenge.

"HALT, TRESPASSER! TO GAIN ACCESS TO THE LOOT IN THIS CAVERN, YOU MUST DEFEAT ME IN A GAME OF ROSHAMBO! I SHALL BEGIN!"

wait. What about the female characters?

>>4281668

I like that! I'll have to do that. Also I was thinking of some softball lobing machines in hidden alcoves activated by presure plates, or activated by a word like 'ow'.

>>4281724
Only in 3.5.

But nice try.

>>4281731
The cavern has a temporary gender-swap effect on female characters. It reverses as soon as they leave, but while in the cavern all gendered creatures become male, growing a cock and balls.

>>4281731

I'm sure they don't like being hit in the crotch either. I'd rather not make them change gender via a spell or item or whathaveyou, but if I had to to make it work, I would.

>>4281646
Actually, I was thinking more in the lines of a group of angry dwarves with hammers or something.

>>4281775

I dunno, kobalds seem squishier than Dwarves and they are 1st level... Plus that might put a damper on future dwarf PC relations.

Name suggestions:

Temple of Krawtsh's Payne
Ourghmahbawls Cavern
Dungeon of Dreaded Dungarees Damage

>>4281757

I hope somebody in the group has the idea that after they clear the place out to turn it into a gay(?) night club.

>>4281834

>>4281805
>Ourghmahbawls Cavern
Genius.

>>4281771
as I understand it, women are only slightly harder to hurt with ball shots. however, statistically, it's way easier to deal permanent damage if you do hit properly

You should have numerous pseudo-reverse-doubletraps.

After a while, the players ought to be on to what the cave is all about. That's when you start fucking with them.

In a simple room, just one way out, have a button placed fairly high up on a wall, almost out of reach. Underneath it, is a big boot attached to an arm, in a very clear "Yo' gonna get kicked in the bawlz"-way.
Naturally the players would want to avoid this, so they use a long stick maybe, I dunno, to activate it. As soon as they press that button, a rod will extend from the floor, and hit them in the nuts.

The only safe place to stand would be directly in front of the boot, which of course is harmless.

Some other room should look exactly the same, but in this one, the boot really does kick you.

Sprinkle these basic two rooms throughout the dungeon, and see how paranoid / creative your players will be.

>>4281834

They could call it, "Grow a Pair"

>>4281873
Mage Hand?

Crotch-aimed magic missile traps. They never miss.

>>4281868

Sounds like a fair trade off.

Thanks for all the suggestions so far everyone! I've got a couple of great trap ideas out of this and that roshambo thing is great and I will use it. If you can think of any other traps that haven't been called out here (things that don't pop out of the floor) post it!

If I remember correctly, there was a rule in the Book of Erotic Fantasy about racking.

Why the fuck do I know this.

I remember reading about a trap in another thread (I think it was a 'hilarious gaming monents' thread) about a group that went into a dungeon made by a mad, rich gnome with too much time on his hands. When they went to open a door, they triggered a trap that caused a club to swing up from the floor and nut whoever came in the doorway. When that caused the person to reel forward, a club on top of the door would swing down and smack him in the head, sending him back again. The second club reset the first, so yet again, ROLL TO AVOID TESTICLE DAMAGE! And again, the top club reset as soon as the guy reeled forward. The result - trap ping-pong with the guy's nuts and noggin. Subdual damage and a fuckton of stunning!

Gelatinous cube that only throws boots at the players, when looted it has 20 odd boots.

>>4281799
Hmmm... You're right. But give the kobolds spiky helmets.

Illusions of naked beautiful women. When they try to have intercourse they get stuck in the stone wall. On the other side of the wall are kobalds with hammers. They giggle with glee and begin.

Football sized Mexican jumping beans. According to my calculations, they would jump at just the right height.

>>4281873

Devious! I like it!

I'm a fair man, and I think that my PCs would be just as bastardly as I am given the chance. That's why I'm giving them the chance. In one room they will be on a darkened cat walk looking over a large chamber. I'll have something like 20 kobold minions in this room standing around. The floor pattern of the chamber will have those same iron circles on it like the first presure plate trap, and on the cat walk there will be a lever. The PCs will pull the lever thinking it will cause the iron pillars to rush up and knock all the Kobolds in the balls. But if they pull the lever they will learn that instead of doing that, it drops the floor out of the catwalk.

In a corridor, put a rail that extends through all of it, if some player steps in the wrong part of the ground. A propelled chair with a dwarf on it appear form one side of the corridor, moving through the rail. The Dwarf goes screaming and with a helmet that has some kind of hammer head in it.

>>4281967
fuck something you find in a dungeon!? are you mad!? that's like when Shaggy goes to eat a sandwich in a haunted house!

but what if someone plays a female character? No balls to injure.

>>4282006

Zoinks Scoob, I don't think that's a pickle!

>>4281967

Oh god that's funny. How did you think of that?

A room where the party has to tred through waist high water. Only the water is really really cold, and magic. So you get magic shrinkage that becomes excruciatingly painful. Roll fortitude to return to normal faster or eventually the damage will knock you out.

>>4281967

I've got you one better. As they go room to room they will stumble across the old cult's training rooms. In some of these rooms the members of the cult were trained to resist and avoid the objects of their sexual desires. So in one room there will be a woman sitting on a nice couch in front of a fireplace and she'll giggle all seductive, but if a PC touches her the are hit with an electric shock. Further inspection reveals she's a construct with no ghost in the machine so to speak. In another room there's a guy in the same position doing the same thing in a similar room. in another room there's a horse doing the same thing in another room that looks just like the first two.

>>4282090
...how the hell can a horse giggle seductively?

Testicular torsion?

>>4282057

Stolen. I'm using this.

>>4282108
Most horribly devious misfortune.

"I run away from the hammer-kobolds."
"ROLL TO AVOID TORSION."

>>4282005

The thought of a Dwarf strapped to a railchair wearing a helmet with a hammer on it and tearing ass down a hallway has made my day.

are we all forgetting the funniest crotch shots, as seen from america's funniest videos?. the crotch gags are easily:
-cute toddler whiffle bats fathers nuts.
-stupid teen trying to skateboard over a rail.
-football to the nards.

these can all be incorperated. perhaps a room with an illusion over it to appear like there are several purring pseudo dragons sleeping over a small pile of gold. they are in fact kobalds with clubs.
a hall with a puzzle floor, perhaps you have to spell "gonads" in draconic on the floor tiles. one missed step and you fall through the floor only to be caught by an iron rod betwixed the loins.
a simple room full of trip wires and a layer of sand hiding them. carefully make your way through, one wrong step and a rigged chord comes snapping up from the floor into your nethers.
a riddle room where you must stand plainly in front of a nut busting contraption with feet locked to the floor in position (perhaps one of those 'make a gallon of liquid with these two jars'). should you fail, a soft ball sized medicine ball is launched forth directly into your daddy maker.

What about some kind of ... test thing. To proceed they have to take a seat and if they do that they get a clamp to the balls and everytime they give a wrong answer to the riddle their nuts get twistet. Should probably be at the beginning of the dungeon when they don't suspect anything like this yet.

>>4282177

They get the CLAMPS!

OP here,

I was also thinking, since it's an anti-fertility cult that used to run this place, there'd be a room full of frenzied babies. I could make it an illusion or something, but the thought of a gaggle of ball kicking ankle bitters fills me with glee. Oh! What if they were a swarm... hrm

>>4282238
Swarm of dire toddlers. They all stand 3 feet tall and want to pull your hair, cry, and kick you in the nuts.

Maybe have a cursed weapon or set of armor somewhere in the dungeon. When the user attacks, there is a 10% chance the attack misses the intended target and hits the user in the crotch instead. For armor, it could draw attacks to the location.

>>4282238

>>4282238
scaled down atropals.

The PCs have to squeeze through a narrow hallway. Unfortunately for them, there are pressure plate activated pistons that shoot out at crotch height.

Personally, I think this place should have been designed for everything to be a headshot to dwarves. It's more realistic-like and stuff...

>>4282261
>>4282238
it's like a safe sex ad gone mad...

>>4282307
That'd be a hilarious twist.

Loot from the dungeon should include a magical leather codpiece. +1 AC, +1 Fort save.

>>4282329
Twisting! Now there's an idea that'll make them curl up!

>>4282336
And some generic, regular latex condoms.

in addition to it being the training grounds of an anti-fertility sect, the whole dungeon is filmed for the entertainment of the plebeian masses.
Going in tends to give good cash in royalties if they can get through it with their sanity intact.

>>4282307
That's fucking brilliant. I vote for this.

>>4282379
Better idea, the players don't know it's filmed and never find out and when they get back to town, all the villagers are attempting to hide their laughter.

Dammit /tg/, it's starting to hurt just from reading this.

I love you guys.

"Reverse Rolling Stone" Trap.
Long cap between ledges, so you have to walk really slowly, using hands to help you move. You know, stretch your legs so you can keep both feet on the ground.
Then, a thin stone starts to roll underneath the players, hitting them to balls as it passes by.

Remember at some point when everyone is still cringing in pain, put a container of Ben Gay on a pedestal and a sign claiming it is rewarding them for coming so far and will heal them for the trials still ahead..

>>4282399

Oh man that would be harsh! Like it was some kind of DnD version of MXC...

>>4282458
You are absolutely the worst kind of person.

Penus fly trap!

It's a plant that grows to approximately crotch height. It looks fairly harmless (unless the players roll well), but any brushing causes its spiked jaws to slam shut on whatever's dangling in their vicinity.

>>4282490


DO NOT WANT

>>4282472

>>4282490
Put this somewhat later in the dungeon as their pants must be somewhat ruined before this works to it's fullest potential.

If they ever get captured some how. Do what they did in Casino Royale. Strip them of their armour, set them in a chair with no bottom, have the balls hang out, then have a guy swing a flail at the bottom of the chair to do massive damage.

>>4282458
Almost forgot, hide the label with a another piece of paper tapped around it. Only after the cream has been applied add a +10 to spot to notice it.

>>4282458

The wording on this contain promises that the magical ointment inside will heal all welts, sore spots, and general aches. Do you want to use it?

Here OP, have some badly drawn nutcracking kobold.

>>4282525
Ye Olde Bengaye

>>4282549

Haha! Can you give him an actual nut cracker? like the kind of thing they use to open walnuts?

>>4282005
>>4282238
>>4282307

I lol'd

>>4282585
Sure.

Tell you what, I feel like drawfagging. Want any other bad MSPaint drawfaggotry done? See it as payment for the lulz.

For another room, have a puzzle where a single man is sitting at a table with a chessboard. For every chess piece you loose he will kick you in the groin under the table. For every piece you take of his the door leading out from the room will gradually open.

You can play him as many times as you want, granted you are still awake.

What about characters from very short races, like Halflings and Gnomes? Then nothing will work as intended!

I want short nutcracker statues that come to life. Each will be short enough that their mouths are at groin height.

you have to swing across a bottomless chasm.. except instead of spikes, the chasm is full of crotch-high pistons!

Roll for initiative.

>>4281724

Yes! A bad guy in plate mail saying (>>4282596
). And pointing ominously. Thanks!

>>4282633
TESTICLE ATTACK NUMBER NINETY-SEVEEEEEEEN!

>>4282644

awesome

Room full of sand, with pygmy bullettes waiting under the surface waiting to leap out and bite hard.

in WW2 the italians had a type of land mine that was designed to castrate american soldiers.

it is possible to breed a type of dog to go right for the genital region, with a muzzle that is perfectly shaped for the job.

specially trained gnomes who are addicted to potion of bull's strength. who's only job is to run up and punch you in the sack.

A ghost that follows the party and from time to time pitches a penis enlargement medicine ad nauseum.

>>4282644
Op here,

I screwed up my last request. Can you do one more drawfagotry with bad guy in plate issuing the roshambo challenge?

>>4282458
"Benwin of Joy" has a better ring to it.

The quest hook has to be something like "I have lost my family jewels in there... bring them back, PLEASE!"

>>4282662
OW MY DRAGONBALLS

>>4282634

If the chasm is bottomless, what are the pistons attached to?

>>4282745
gravity

Bad and lazy attempt at drawfaggin' here

>>4282745
Immovable rods.

Also, random transparent crotch height immovable rods scattered throughout the dungeon.

>>4282646
I'm terrible at drawing armour, but here you go. I gave him a ballhammer, I thought it was fitting.

Use the monster from the Hitchhiker's Guide movie that hits people in the face when they have a thought. Only this one is a juvenile, so it can't reach as high.

>>4282745

>>4282713

Op here,
That has potential. I was planning on a hook that would lead the PCs to the next adventure. It's funny that people are quoting Robot Chicken, cause I was planning on the BBEG on being an analog of their version of emperor palpatine.

Long story not retarded, I was planning on having the kobolds kidnap a pregnant farmer when he told them to kidnap the sheriff's daughter. He goes off on them via hologram thing and waxes poetical.

>>4282788
In case you can't tell due to my crappy drawing skills, his codpiece is made of solid steel and covered with spikes. The only way to defeat him is to find the key and strike his weak point for massive damage.

>>4282713
Excellent! Make it slightly more subtle, though.

>>4282791

Oh! It'll only hit them when they have a sexual thought! MWAHAHAHAHA

>>4282854
Aaaaand you ruined it.

This thread has made me both cringe in pain imagining some of these traps, and laugh my ass off once that feeling wore off.
/tg/, don't ever change.

Any other drawfaggotry that needs to be done? Otherwise I'm going to bed.

>>4282854
It must follow them around for the rest of the campaign.

>>4282836

Nice

>>4282899

Maybe the dwarf strapped to the rail-chair with the hammer helmet haulin' ass through a corridor. Other than that I'm good :)

>>4282764
I really like the crazed look in his eyes. He's just dying to crack some nuts.

>>4282854
Better yet whenever anyone makes a balls joke. They'll never leave unscarred in a place with that much comedic potential.

>>4282994

niiice

Yes, that's an engraving of a rhesus macaque.

>>4283037

/tg/

Who else will draw you rail-chair strapped dwarves with hammer helmets hauling ass down a corridor?

>>4283075
I take that as a compliment.

Someone archive this thread

>>4282788
Don't you mean a ball-peen hammer?

Archive!

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 1 times now.

archive plox

>>4283145
Not if your aim is good enough.

>>4283183

>>4283145
>>4283183
>>4283193
My roommate threw a book at me for laughing so fucking hard.
Totally worth it.

Op here,

If this thread get's archived I'll follow up with the entire dungeon layout, encounters, treasure, and more. It only needs a few more archive requests. If the guy/gal doing drawfagotry wants to work with me on the art for it, I'll be happy to have the help and share the credit.

>>4283148
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4281495/

>>4283256
Hmmmmmmmm... sure, why not. But I can't promise anything, due to school, orks and real life having a tendency to get between me and my /tg/ usage. I can try, though.

>>4283324
Hehe, excellent.

>>4283267
This man knows of the REAL archive. Fuck your archive requests. This thread is here to stay!

>>4283256

Drawfag again. Have you decided on a set time to make the new thread, or do you want to contact me through MSN messenger?

>>4283484
Yo, Drawfag--totally unrelated to this awesome thread, but would you consider taking some requests that've been put forth in this Necron thread: >>4282245 ?

This needs module treatment!

Ourghmahbawls Cavern! Recommended for first-level adventureres with a good sense of humor.

Also, put a graveyard in there with reaching skeleton hands, that punch upwards at random intervals, similar to the scene in Army of Darkness.

A room with a high cieling with several bars, blunt spikes, and automatic boots all over the floor of the very large room. A similar pattern is repeated on the ceiling. They all would hurt very much if you fell on one, but they're totally harmless right now.

Most of the floor tiles (and cieling tiles) on the room are pressure plates. Upon sitting on one, the gravity in the room reverses itself. The characters fall towards what used to be the cieling.

DC 15-25 (depending on character level) or get nailed in the balls. this should be repeated 4-5 times as they make their way across the room. Make several healing potions available, as they will be taking lots of falling damage during this time.

Seriously OP, I need to sleep.

>>4283660
The room should be charged with positive energy, so you get healed every time you hit the ground, so the falling damage doesn't kill your party.

>>4283680
Op Here
My bad drawfag, had to walk away for a bit there. I can contact you on MSN, what's your user name?

>>4282177

You know, I had an idea from reading this. The PC's find a magic, talking door, with a hammer next to it..

Door: ONE OF YOU HIT YOUR DICK WITH THE HAMMER NEXT TO MY DOOR THREE TIMES AND I'LL LET YOU PASS
PCS: ...seriously?
Door: OF COURSE. IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO PASS.

Have the dumbest PC roll an intelligence check. If he fails, tell him that he suddenly takes it upon himself to sacrfice his nuts for the good of the party.

Door: HA HA, THAT WAS GRAND. NOW GO FIND THAT KEY I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT BEFORE YOU INTERRUPTED ME.

>>4283744
stonetroll @ hotmail . com

Now it's off to bed. Good luck.

>>4283752

HAHA, that door is a dick!

>>4283752

evil cousin?

Oh, I got an evil idea. What if the "Benwin of Joy" was provided to the PCs just before they fought the dark lord in Roshambo?

Have a character mortally wounded in the femoral artery, halfway through.

No more luls for anybody.

Put a premium on codpieces.

>>4283752
Put the hammer in a glass case next to the door with a label saying "COCK KNOCKER" on it.

>>4283842
The goal of the dungeon is to retrieve the Golden Codpiece of F'nt'sinam.

Make a incredibly long passage full of obviously painful traps. And there is only one athletic cup.

>>4283871
And it's too small for any of them.

>>4283856

I think that C.KNOCKER would be better, as it's a bit more subtle. But I love the idea!

>>4283856
And when they get back to town after everyone has seen their antics, they could spot a group of teenagers yelling COCK KNOCKER and kicking each other in the nuts.

>>4283958
I love that game! I play it with my friends all the time. COCK KNOCKER!

You realize that there's no way the party will fall for this for long. Rather than Roshambo the dark knight they'll just fight him in normal combat, a half intelligent party will be able to take one or two foes of a much higher level after all. Traps will only work for so long before they get edgy and smarten up.

The crotch 'bolds and dorfs will be a constant threat though.

A bridge. Actually, two bridges. Each at a 45 degree angle, so you can't really tightrope across one of them, facing each other. Say about, 10 or so feet apart, too far to put one foot on each. Over a long, impassable chasm. There's a mechanism on the roof, where if you pull down on two rails simultaneously, the bridges move to about 6 feet apart. However, the rails can be easily pulled past the first notch, which moves the bridges back apart and lowers the second half of the rails into the chasm. So really, you have to pull the rails down a little, but you can't have them support your weight, and you can't let go of either one. About halfway across, you have a trap trigger. The bridge in front of you and behind you collpases downward, folding underneath. You're now stuck standing in one spot with your hands occupied far above your head and your feet spread wide apart. The severity of the next part of the trap is up to you.

>>4284207
Then it's a nice way to get PCs to think like they should in much more mortal dungeons.

>'The Cavern of Ow My Balls'
That's my favoite quest! Do you like money too?

>>4284531
Was I wearing pants when I went into the Cavern?

>>4284531
Welcome to costco, I love you.

PC's enter a room. There are two ceramic orbs on a pedestal in the center of the room, sitting in small indentations. There is a large hammer placed on the pedestal in a suggestive fashion. The door to the next room is locked with two locks. In either of the ceramic balls is a key. Writing scrawled on the wall left by a previous adventurer related this fact, along with a rumor of a curse linking the shatterer of the balls to the balls themselves.

>>4285542
Brought to you by Carl's Jr.

OP here,

My god. The thread lives?! Oh yes... I will use many of these. Chances are you will not like the outcome, as you can't make everyone happy all of the time. But rest assured, I will do my best to make the majority happy. I will return another day to ask for more advice.

Goodnight Gentlemen

Abnormally late to seeing this thread, I just have two things to offer:
1) The rail dwarf needs to sound like the bomb-headed monsters from Serious Sam
2) Play as a warforged. Win the game.

Kobold designed training maze filled with traps aimed at the kobold's head. Not the kobold's fault the inferior human and elven scum are too tall.

>>4288818
How do you explain the ones that come up from the floor then?

>>4288853
designed to impale a kobold all the way through, or swing up on an arm like a spring-loaded pick axe.

Pressure plates that release from the ground...wait for it...rocks-on-springs.


Treasure chests that, when opened, release a boot in an upwardly diagonal direction towards the opener.

Locked door, the key of which, when used, also unlocks a propulsion system involving small, blunt objects like tin cups or shoes out of a hole in the door...a crotch high hole in the door.

Ball traps that fall from the ceiling, BOUNCING ball traps that fall from the ceiling.

Boing-thwak-aaaaaagh!

MAKE YOUR PLAYERS FEAR EVERYTHING!