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  • File :1240684280.jpg-(39 KB, 400x400, Cooking-Mama-wii-01.jpg)
    39 KB Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:31 No.4393415  
    Come up with campaign ideas... with her as the BBEG.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:34 No.4393438
    She gives the heroes their quests, having them gather important components for the king's feast.

    In the end she betrays them, using the components to construct a nearly invincible cake golem.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:35 No.4393439
    http://www.peta.org/cooking-mama/index.asp
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:35 No.4393445
         File :1240684546.jpg-(252 KB, 1024x783, 1240681516285.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:35 No.4393448
    But Mama isn't evil...
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:36 No.4393451
    The players are members of the VeggieTales.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:36 No.4393453
    ITS MADE OF PEOPLE!!!!
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:36 No.4393455
    I had a Mutants 7 Masterminds game with a Martha Stewart type, with the powers of Matter-Eater Lad from DC's Legion of Super-Heroes, as a villain. Her codename was Sweet Tooth. Does that count?

    (The PCs stopped her by dropping her out of a zeppelin by their leader's South Pole base, into arctic waters. BAD END.).
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:36 No.4393460
    >>4393438
    this, but the PCs are the main course
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:38 No.4393468
    >>4393455
    That's what I love about M&M that's like the base line level of play.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:39 No.4393471
    >>4393448
    but maybe her experiments run wild
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:39 No.4393472
    >>4393448
    FIRE comes out of her EYES when you anger her, and stuff as innocuous as overmixing cake batter pisses her off - does that sound GOOD to you?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:39 No.4393473
    She was childhood friends with one of the PCs, who in a moment of childish anger, told her to "eat a dick".

    She did. She liked it. She continued to do so regularly from then on.
    >> bearford !!xjhLi8WTrZS 04/25/09(Sat)14:40 No.4393475
    Very kindly crime-boss who the PC's know from the beginning, very motherly and well loved. Ruthlessly efficient when ordering her minions to carry out their evil tasks.

    Not a 'world destroying evil scheme' sort of boss, just a selfishly making money through vicious crime for her and her family, while never getting her hands dirty.

    DUN
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:42 No.4393485
    Y'know... for being a Mama, we never do hear of any kids... or a Papa.

    *warily eyes the cookpot* I hope that's just beef...


    "Like they say, 'the secret's in the sauce.'..."
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:44 No.4393502
    >>4393485
    >>the secret's in the sauce
    The English title of that movie is "Fried Green Tomatoes", dude.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:45 No.4393508
    >>4393475
    WINRAR.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:45 No.4393511
    >>4393502
    No shit, Sherlock - I've seen the film plenty of times before. that scene was part of what gave me the idea for this thread.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:45 No.4393515
         File :1240685157.jpg-(278 KB, 692x525, VG Cats - Humble Suggestion.jpg)
    278 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:49 No.4393539
    Players are all awakened plant or animal creatures working for the Pea'it-Ah druidic circle.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:50 No.4393543
    >>4393439

    THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME THING SINCE ... EVAR
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:50 No.4393544
    The obvious choice here is cannibalism.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:50 No.4393545
    >>4393515
    psst! he's in the bowl! She cut him up and HE'S IN THE FUCKING BOWL!
    >> deleted 04/25/09(Sat)14:52 No.4393553
    >>4393515
    Isn't this how all evil villains start their path? They are happy and go lucky working from the bottom up and then all their hopes and dreams are smacked down by the man?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:54 No.4393562
         File :1240685661.jpg-(146 KB, 600x738, Cooking_Mama_by_EmegE.jpg)
    146 KB
    >>4393472
    Shit, if I had to manage incompetent cretins while trying to teach them something useful, I'd get pretty pissed off to.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:54 No.4393566
    >>4393553
    He had only himself to blame... she didn't really WANT to do it - well, maybe a teeny bit - but he really left her no choice...
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:56 No.4393580
    >>4393553
    alternately they came from a happy middle class home and decided to do gratuitous evil for the lulz (see ref: Jeff Dhamer.)
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:56 No.4393581
    /tg/ would love Cooking Mama as much as they used to love /ck/.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)14:56 No.4393584
    >>4393485
    OH GOD.


    IT ALL MAKES SENSE.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)15:00 No.4393614
    >>4393584
    next up...

    Killing Mama.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)15:06 No.4393653
    any more "Evil Mama" ideas?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)15:12 No.4393700
    >>4393653
    She's actually a fae creature with an insane obsession with cooking. Forcing her kidnapped subjects to taste her newest and increasingly more bizarre if not deadly recipes she chooses some of her captives to learn from her. Woe be to them if they fail to meet or exceed her own culinary prowess.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)15:19 No.4393747
    Evil Mama is the best concept ever.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)15:19 No.4393755
    I keep thinking of the MaidRPG scenario where the players have to work together to bake a cake and plan a birthday party, and have two weeks to find information, recipes, and ingredients to add bonuses to the final roll when they bake the cake so they don't fuck it up.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)15:25 No.4393786
         File :1240687500.jpg-(16 KB, 200x197, meanmama.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)15:39 No.4393888
    >>4393562
    I just pictured Crimeboss Mama yelling "You naughty boy! Mama is very displeased!" in a harsh scolding manner to a minion who failed an assignment to, I dunno, kill someone, then whapping them on the head with a spatula.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)16:08 No.4394124
         File :1240690139.png-(451 KB, 500x621, 1208909394794.png)
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    >>4393888
    >You naughty boy! Mama is very displeased!
    >whipping them on the ass with a spatula

    THIS ISN'T RAPING MAMA.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)16:24 No.4394255
    Cooking can be just her hobby to give her an extra dimension. Normally she's got on her robe and wizard hat.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)16:33 No.4394345
    >>4394124
    I said "whapping them on the head", not "smacking them on the ass"! Get it right!
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)16:34 No.4394354
    i wonder if peta can be sued for that
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)16:35 No.4394367
         File :1240691748.jpg-(81 KB, 520x700, Amu forgot mah pants.jpg)
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    Is it wrong that I look at any of those Mama things and automatically see Amu?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)16:37 No.4394385
    >>4394367
    yup.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)16:44 No.4394453
    We knew this day would come. She could only 'fix it' so many times before the dead-end domestic life finally got to her.

    Soon the police will have to deal with a mysterious serial killer that turns their victims into tasteful gourmet dishes.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)16:49 No.4394498
    >>4394354
    Probably, but if Nintendo tries anything they'll probably go into full-on Annoying Liberal BAWWWWWWW Mode.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)16:53 No.4394516
         File :1240692785.jpg-(497 KB, 770x1088, 1222407873254.jpg)
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    >>4394385
    Good. I'd hate to be normal.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)16:56 No.4394546
    >>4394354
    They tried to start a shitstorm, but Majesco, the game's creator's, hadily shot them down without losing any face at all...

    >"Food lover and culinary cutie Cooking Mama is a virtual chef who believes that good home cooked food, properly prepared from the best ingredients, can bring people together around the table and make the world a happier place," the statement said. "That's why Mama is taking a stand with oven mitts raised high against the latest PETA objection targeting her freshly released videogame, Cooking Mama World Kitchen, that shipped this week for Wii from Majesco Entertainment Company. Mama wants people to know that World Kitchen includes 51 recipes from around the world, ranging from vegetarian fare like miso soup and rice cakes to international delicacies like ginger pork and octopus dumplings."

    >Mama herself also spoke up on the matter, pointing out that her latest game includes over 25 vegetarian-friendly recipes. "I would never put rat in my Ratatouille," she said. "Like any accomplished cook, I create my recipes to appeal to a broad range of tastes and preferences. My only goal is to ensure you leave the table well fed." Mama added that she "fully supports the humane treatment of animals."

    This is a brilliantly measured response from Majesco, which has managed to simultaneously address the issue, blow off PETA and squeeze out a little more free publicity for Cooking Mama World Kitchen, all while refusing to confer a single drop of legitimacy to what is at its heart a very stupid complaint. Well played, Majesco.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)16:58 No.4394570
         File :1240693131.jpg-(160 KB, 785x776, Amu awesome.jpg)
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    >>4394546
    >Mama herself also spoke
    >she said
    >Mama added

    I CAN'T STOP PICTURING AMU AS A TWENTY-SOMETHING WORLD FAMOUS CHEF DAMMIT WHAT THE FUCK
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)17:10 No.4394658
    No more BBEG Mama ideas? Aww, and we were doing so good, too...
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)17:18 No.4394742
         File :1240694332.jpg-(102 KB, 700x576, how_SANDVICH_is_made_by_mishin(...).jpg)
    102 KB
    Of course, evil or not, even Mama knows that underlings deserve rewards for carrying out missions properly...
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)17:20 No.4394754
    >>4394742
    Mama knows that you don't mistreat your fucking underlings.
    >> Jeff 04/25/09(Sat)17:22 No.4394778
    >>4394546
    HAHAHA! Take that, PETA. Oh, you have made my goddam DAY.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)17:23 No.4394780
    >>4394754
    Of course. They may be her subordinates, and a pack of liars, cheaters, manipulators, and murderers, but they love Mama, and she loves them.

    Now if only those pesky lawbringers and guardsmen would stop snooping around and let Mama do her business...
    >> Frazer !!NNiZ5EzzZEM 04/25/09(Sat)17:23 No.4394783
    >>4394658

    Mama is a happy housewife and the pillar of a well-kept dwelling and a loving, content nuclear family. Every day her husband and children delight in a delicious repast.

    What they don't know, however, is that Mama had a former life as a mercenary employed by South American communist terrorists - her meals are so delicious because no-one can cut cleaner with a knife than she can, and all of that bomb-making has made her very good at weighing precise amounts.

    After narrowly avoiding being hacked up like sweetmeats by the Argentine army during the "Dirty War", Mama saw the error of her ways, decided that discretion was the better part of valour, and surrendered to the CIA. After her release from a harrowing and gruelling term of corrective incarceration in a Bolivian CIA holding camp, she retired from terrorism to enjoy a more sedate and safer life.

    One day, there's a knock on the door. It's a policeman.

    She didn't mean it. It was just a momentary lapse, it was a nervous spasm of muscle memory. The policeman was only there to ask about the the smashed rear-light on the car that her husband hadn't got round to mending yet.

    But now the policeman is lain out on her porch with a kitchen knife four inches into his forehead.

    She's distraught. She's appalled at herself. But as she drags the body into the house and quickly glances up and down the street to check for witnesses, she knows one thing.

    She's not going back to prison, ever again...
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)17:25 No.4394804
    >>4394783
    So...Mama is Roberta?

    FUCK YEAH
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)17:27 No.4394819
    >>4394783

    That's depressingly awesome.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)17:30 No.4394849
    >>4394783
    "Oh dear. What a mess. This wasn't what I was hoping for at all. Now I'll be here all day dealing with this little problem - I'll never have time to go grocery-shopping later..."

    For some reason the thought of her maintaing the "quiet little wife" attitude while doing such malicious acts really makes me laugh...
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)17:34 No.4394883
         File :1240695255.gif-(1003 KB, 300x225, guitarsolo.gif)
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    >>4394783
    Gif related
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)17:37 No.4394914
    YOU ARE THE BREAD.

    LOSE AND YOU ARE TOAST.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)17:44 No.4394991
    This thread has turned out better than expected. Quite a fair number of devious ideas for our favorite kitchen queen.
    >> Frazer !!NNiZ5EzzZEM 04/25/09(Sat)17:45 No.4395003
    >>4394849

    *Ding Dong*

    "Oh, Mama, hello!"

    "Morning, Betty, is it alright if I come on?"

    "Oh, of course, why wouldn't it be? Say, what's that you're holding?"

    "Oh, I've just been picking some cinnamon from our little spice plot out back and it was so good I just had to share it! Try some of my cinnamon-and-coconut cookies?"

    "As if you need to ask, 'Cooking' Mama, hah hah! Mmm, delicious."

    "Whew, it's been exciting recently."

    "Oh, you mean that policeman collapsing on your doorstep? I saw that. What happened to him?"

    "Turns out he's epileptic, the poor fellow. It's tragic that such things can be wrong with the world, don't you agree?

    "Hmmm."

    "Say, did you see the squad car come and pick him up later on in the day?"

    "No, I didn't actually, I did think that it was... a little... huff... puff... odd..."

    "Oh, that's such a shame, it's so quiet in our neighbourhood I thought that you'd be all over it, Betty."

    "Can't... breathe..."

    "It made me so happy to see you wolfing down my cookies so quickly. All my time foraging in the jungle taught me the value of finding the freshest ingredients, you know."

    "Hhhhhkkkkkkkkkkk..."
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)17:48 No.4395036
    >>4395003
    Now things are getting interesting. Please continue...
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)18:00 No.4395144
         File :1240696819.jpg-(165 KB, 480x757, cookingwat.jpg)
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    I... I'm sorry. I just had to post this.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)18:04 No.4395176
    >>4395144
    Read the thumbnail as 'hooking mama'. It worked just as well.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)18:08 No.4395191
    Guess Mama wasn't always so innocent.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)18:09 No.4395198
         File :1240697356.jpg-(424 KB, 1280x1025, peta cookingmama.jpg)
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    >> Frazer !!NNiZ5EzzZEM 04/25/09(Sat)18:11 No.4395215
    >>4395036

    "Mr. Lorenzo, why do you have your pistol with you? Alan only has the gun-club meeting here every other Friday -- hey, don't point it! That's dangerous! Timmy's due home from school - what if he saw you? You'll give him bad habits!"

    "Don't play coy, Mama. I was in 'Nam for four years - I always sensed that there was something off with you, and when the Pattison kid was found choked on his apple I knew what it was. I can see your scars through your apron."

    "MISTER PETRO LORENZO! I. Am. Shocked! Shocked! Poor Billy's death was a terrible tragedy, and there you are making... making JOKES about it! I thought that you were a pillar of the neighbourhood. I'm so... so dissapointed..."

    "Can it with the meek and wifely banter, Mama! It's over! Call it a citizen's arrest, if you like. The police are on their way --"

    "Mr. Lorenzo, you're DRUNK. I have a clean home, here, and I don't want your beery smell stinking it up! Please leave, or I hope a few bruises will make you sober."

    "oh, what's this? You're threatening me with... a leg of ham? Never bring a knife to a gunfight, Mama..."

    *-*-*-*-*-*-*

    "Mrs. Mama, I know this must be a very traumatic time for you..."

    "It's... it's so awful! I just came in from the supermarket and he was... he was just lying there..."

    "Do you know why he would be in the house, Mrs. Mama?"

    "I... I can't think... oh, it's so..."

    "Yes, of course, I understand, it's hard on all of us."

    *-*-*-*-*-*-*

    "Oh, Detective Clyde, do come in!"

    "I'm sorry to bother you again, ma'am, it's just a final once over of the scene."

    "Not a problem at all. Listen, Detective, you're so incredible defending the community as you do - would you like some food? Alan looking after Timmy at my sister's and it's far too much for me to eat on my own."

    "Well, I suppose... Mmm... lovely ham, very succulent... you know, we've got this crook pinned, Mama. Once we find the murder weapon, he's sunk..."
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)18:15 No.4395232
    >>4395215
    This is awesome... /r/ archival for epic writefaggotry.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)18:36 No.4395400
    moar?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)18:38 No.4395424
    >>4395400
    Please?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)18:42 No.4395454
    >>4395424
    I find it somewhat odd that you rarely see Mama eat her own cooking, unless it's a dish someone else helped with...
    >> Frazer !!NNiZ5EzzZEM 04/25/09(Sat)18:43 No.4395460
    >>4395232

    Last one for now

    --------------------------------------------------

    "Mama darling, it's almost seven! Don't you teach your evening class down at the community college on Wednesday's?"

    "Well, yes, but Alan, dear... I've been thinking of giving it up."

    "...this is new. What on Earth for?"

    "It's just that it seems so selfish of me - Timmy's uniform needs ironing, the pots still need washing... there's so much to do,and yet here I am faffing about with a silly little indulgence."

    'Oh, darling, what nonsense! You can't stay cooped up in the house all day, Mama. Besides, it'll give those plebs down at the college something to do other than basket-weaving courses - and it'd be a crime not to share your perfect omelette with the world.

    "I suppose..."

    "I insist. *Kiss* Now, have a lovely evening Mama."

    *-*-*-*-*-*-*

    "Oh dear... we do seem to be a bit thin on the ground tonight, don't we? I hope that it's not chock-a-block on the interstate bypass again. Ah well, if there's only one soul here we can dedicate our time to making it perfect! You seem to be new, Miss...?"

    "Maria, Maria Acapuleta."

    "Well, Maria, what would you like to try your hand at tonight?"

    "I was thinking.... Uruguayan Choripans"

    "Ooh, exotic! It's so good to have a diverse palette, there's so many delightful tastes to find around the world... and quite a few fucking shitholes to crawl out of as well - Lady Condor"

    "Long time no see, Bombing Mama."

    -----------------------------
    To be continued...
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)18:50 No.4395515
    >>4395460
    Ooh, cliffhanger. I am LOVING this version of Mama.

    This definitely deserves archival now.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)19:00 No.4395585
    >>4395460
    >Last one for now

    Aww...
    >> Frazer !!NNiZ5EzzZEM 04/25/09(Sat)19:05 No.4395619
    >>4395585

    I'm sorry that there's no time for more now, but it's gone midnight over here and I do need to be up early tomorrow. I hope to come back to it tomorrow evening (GMT).
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)19:14 No.4395672
         File :1240701265.png-(50 KB, 465x698, 1226599939875.png)
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    This thread is totally fucking awesome.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)19:20 No.4395710
    >>4395460
    Oh shit is that some viper assassination squad
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)19:20 No.4395712
    /r/ archive so this doesn't get lost until Frazer can return and write more...
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)19:23 No.4395726
    >>4393415

    Those things she is cooking?

    Homeless people, well bits of them anyway.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)19:36 No.4395827
    >>4395726
    Cheaper than beef, plus, nobody misses them or cares enough to report them!
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)19:49 No.4395923
    Name: Maria "Mama" Smith
    Concept: Perfect House Wife
    Undertaking: Charmer
    Virtue: Hope
    Vice: Wrath

    Strength: 2
    Dexterity: 4
    Stamina: 3
    Intelligence: 4
    Wits: 4
    Resolve: 5
    Charisma: 4
    Manipulation: 3
    Composure: 3

    Academics: 2
    Investigation: 3
    Craft (cooking): 5
    Medicine: 1
    Science (explosives): 5

    Athletics: 2
    Brawl: 1
    Larceny: 3
    Stealth: 2
    Survival: 4
    Weaponry: 5

    Empathy: 4
    Persuasion: 4
    Socialize: 3
    Subterfuge: 5
    Merits:
    Eidetic Memory 2
    Language 5
    Fighting Finesse 2
    Iron Stomach 2
    Weaponry Dodge 1
    Allies 1 (beloved by the community)
    Fame 1 (best cook in town)
    Resources 3 (well off suburban home)
    Striking looks 2

    Willpower: 7
    Health: 8
    Morality: 3
    Derangement: Obsessive Compulsion (severe), Suspicion (mild), Fugue (severe)
    Talent: Disarming
    Frailty: The Veneer
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)19:57 No.4395988
    >>4395923
    Nice... I recognize it as WoD statting, but I'm not quite familiar with their stuff enough to narrow down the specifics... nothing seems supernatural... is it Hunter?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)19:59 No.4396009
         File :1240703994.jpg-(60 KB, 500x590, 1235934831002.jpg)
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    >>4395988
    Slasher, actually, an offshoot of Hunter. Granted, I gave her some pretty beefy stats, but I figure Mama deserves the best, don't you?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)20:05 No.4396053
    >>4396009
    Everyone loves Mama...
    ...or else.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)20:09 No.4396077
    >>4395923
    She's clearly an Exalt though, with Sidereal Culinary Arts.
    Or Craftsman Needs No Tools so she cooks Essence times faster than normal men.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)20:19 No.4396148
    >>4396009
    for the handful of us out there (like myself) unfamiliar with Hunter details, mind explaining some of the stuff you chose? Like what is "Undertaking: Charmer"? Or "Talent: Disarming" and "Frailty: The Veneer"?

    That is, if it's no trouble, I mean. I know some folks' WoD experience doesn't travel past wolf/vamp/mage, so a bit of clarity for the unfamiliar points is handy...
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)20:24 No.4396187
    So I have this vision of Mama now, in an Evil Genius style base and the TF2 guys as minions. With her powerful cooking, she's drawn in defectors from both RED and BLU, and started her own little crime base on an exotic isle somewhere.
    >> Cotton Eyed Joe !s5rR18z5kQ 04/25/09(Sat)20:28 No.4396211
    http://rule34.paheal.net/post/list/cooking_mama/1
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)20:30 No.4396221
    >>4396187
    She's an awesome cook, but THAT good? even for her, that might be too much credit on culinary skill alone.

    Must be adding something to it.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)20:31 No.4396227
    >>4395215
    >"Well, I suppose... Mmm... lovely ham, very succulent... you know, we've got this crook pinned, Mama. Once we find the murder weapon, he's sunk..."

    Very Roald Dahl.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)20:35 No.4396258
    She's the famed chef of the kings castle. She butchers and cooks the peasants and the party is the only one who knows her secret. She lies to the king that the party is trying to murder her out of envy. Go!
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)20:49 No.4396395
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    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)20:50 No.4396409
    >>4396395
    man

    wat

    wat
    wat

    wat

    wat
    wat
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)20:51 No.4396422
    >>4396395
    holy shit, dude.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)20:58 No.4396508
    >>4396227
    Indeed. quite an interesting twist.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)21:12 No.4396654
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4393415/

    vote it up
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)21:19 No.4396727
         File :1240708753.jpg-(51 KB, 230x250, bigangry.jpg)
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    "Don't worry... Mama will make them pay... Mama will make them ALL pay..."
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)21:28 No.4396802
    >>4396654
    Done and done.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)21:43 No.4396980
    Any more ideas, or shall I keep bumping until our wonderful writefag returns?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)21:55 No.4397130
    >>4394498
    those faggots are not liberals, politics move in a circle. although peta probably should be excluded in its own "retard" affiliation.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)21:57 No.4397157
    >>4397130
    SSHHHH, this is a nice thread, don't awaken the...questionable political philosophy and impotent rage of the white, male, basement dweller.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)21:57 No.4397158
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    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)22:00 No.4397209
    >>4397157
    But what's not to love about the premise we've, heheh, cooked-up? Ordinary-seeming housewife secretly an ex-mercenary terrorist/assassin? It's like "Mr. and Mrs. Smith", but without the bad acting or Brad Pitt.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)22:03 No.4397240
    Mama is an Artificer whose real children were stolen by a local temple in a cursed town as sacrifices to feed the demon ruling over them.

    Mama has turned herself into a lich and now creates flesh golems using the skin of her fellow townsfolk, but has, of late, been branching outward from the town to collect specimens for her children.

    Her phylactery? An old, broken oven in the house where she raised her babies.
    >> Totallynotsamefag !!PwrhihocaUN 04/25/09(Sat)22:10 No.4397319
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    >>4397240
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)22:13 No.4397342
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    >>4397319
    Oh Ruel, you card.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)22:14 No.4397350
    >>4397240
    whoa, now THAT came outta left field.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)22:14 No.4397352
    >>4397209

    You do realize this means she has a skintight black bodyglove. The blade holster in the jackboots has a spatula in it.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)22:20 No.4397404
    >>4397319
    >>4397350
    Just taking the thread back on topic, is all. XD
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)22:25 No.4397451
    Psst. Mama confirmed for Brawl.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)22:27 No.4397460
    >>4397352
    That is oddly alluring.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)22:27 No.4397466
    >>4397451
    Oh, I only WISH. That would be awesome.
    >> Totallynotsamefag !!PwrhihocaUN 04/25/09(Sat)22:28 No.4397471
         File :1240712901.png-(23 KB, 350x350, john likes this plan.png)
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    >>4397352
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)22:33 No.4397514
    >>4397451
    want
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)22:33 No.4397515
    >>4397352
    "Don't worry, mama will fix it"

    *building in distance explodes*

    *La Femme Nikita Theme*
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)22:37 No.4397545
    >>4396148
    bit of help here?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)22:47 No.4397639
    This seems appropriate.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJ0AhVyKCLY
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)23:04 No.4397776
    >>4397515
    Tried to find a good image of the big explosion in the MacGyver intro to photoshop the Cooking Mama text over, but couldn't. oh well.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)23:19 No.4397863
    >>4397776
    Be classy. Use the twin towers and Mama in a burka.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)23:22 No.4397888
    >>4397863
    Mama's not some alQaeda sandnigger bitch - that thing on her head's a scarf, not a towel.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)23:34 No.4397963
    I would defintely consider this thread an unexpected success.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)23:45 No.4398048
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    NOW it's a success.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/09(Sat)23:59 No.4398190
    >>4398048
    Yes. Yes it is.

    >>4397888
    9/11 was an inside job. A DELICIOUS job.
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)00:14 No.4398306
    >>4398048
    I'll probably add color to this later.
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)00:17 No.4398324
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    This thread explains a few things about /ck/.
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)00:20 No.4398358
    >>4398324
    only a FEW?
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)00:23 No.4398390
    new setting.

    this time, Moma is the sweet, innocent housewife both inside and out.

    the PCs are a colony of cockroaches. the goal is to steal her food and avoid extermination. add liberal amounts of grimdark (from the cockroach perspective) and there you go.
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)00:25 No.4398419
    >>4398390
    playing as nonhumanoids is very trcky, from an RP perspective, if only because it's hard to get into a fitting mindset for a creature wholly alien to oneself...
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)00:27 No.4398432
    >>4398419
    no, you still play with a human mindset.

    to the cockroaches Mama is a sort of terrible god who gives both sustenance and destruction equally.
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)00:28 No.4398447
    >>4398432
    Ooh, clever. she's still "evil", in a way, but not via any change in her original characterization. Not too shabby.
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)00:28 No.4398451
    >>4398432
    prophesy speaks of an eventual day of Armageddon, when the Fumigators would bring complete death and destruction to all roachkind.
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)00:35 No.4398531
    I envision the cockroaches' mindset to be almost completely human, except with a few key differences:

    1. tolerance to pain, horror and death of companions is much much higher, because those things are all so commonplace and they're desensitized. truly horrible things - like being in the inside of a crowded roach hotel - should still cause terror though.

    2. they cannot understand what Mama is, why she kills them, why she leaves food for them, etc. whole religions spring up to explain her intentions, in more and more outlandish ways, and they're all fantastically wrong.

    3. they don't bond as easily to one another because they know any of them could die, at any second.
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)00:36 No.4398541
    how does u archive this thread
    >ask the roaches
    What?
    >What?
    someone arhive this thread please?
    >no this thread is good but not archive worthy
    i disagree, this cooking mama thread is epic
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)00:37 No.4398552
    >>4398531
    >they don't bond as easily to one another because they know any of them could die, at any second.

    but when they do bond it's a very strong bond. and you get little-girl-tears scenes where a cockroach gets nailed to a floorboard and another brings food to it for weeks until it finally dies.
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)00:44 No.4398621
    >>4398541
    it's already gotten archival.
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)00:50 No.4398687
    Everytime I see Mama, I think about fucking Cap-Tan
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)00:59 No.4398784
    I miss Frazer's writefaggotry already.

    We need more badass ex-mercenary Mama.
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)01:19 No.4398976
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    bump
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)01:53 No.4399317
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    >>4398976
    more bump
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)01:55 No.4399338
    >>4398976
    >>4399317

    Damm woman, don't kill me
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)02:00 No.4399392
    >>4399338
    Don''t disrespect her cooking, and you'll likely live.
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)02:10 No.4399520
    >>4399392
    I respect her cooking immensely, but I can never forget that dark night in Rio back in '02. The police never found all of them, just a bloody cheese grater. On the plus side that was the most delicious gumbo I ever had.
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)02:18 No.4399614
    >>4399520
    She swore most of it really was just pork and chicken...
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)02:30 No.4399752
    Last bump. If Frazer returns and this is still going by morning, then bully for him, as they say.

    If not, then hopefully either him or myself will start a new thread to finish his epic writefaggotry.

    Either way, the Killing Mama series will continue.
    >> Totallynotsamefag !!PwrhihocaUN 04/26/09(Sun)03:23 No.4399918
         File :1240730631.jpg-(15 KB, 415x236, awesome topic.jpg)
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    bumping for awesome.
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)04:43 No.4400476
    >>4399918
    Yay for Awesome!
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)05:05 No.4400527
    >>4393438
    Well, a year or so ago, WotC did stat up a Calzone Golem.
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)05:08 No.4400540
    >>4400527
    I remember that adventure. Very cool. It's the most delicious fight I've ever had.
    >> Anonymous 04/26/09(Sun)06:01 No.4400812
    >>4400527
    Man, now I'm craving some Italian. Argh.



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