possible 'Nid beater?

>field too long

So, post some other freaky shit from nature that seems like it belongs in an RPG.

>>4433329
well, orks ARE a fungus...

Speed up the process proportionally for humans and it becomes awesome.

A human gets infected and begins running wildly to the nearest wall, desperately trying to climb up it. When they get to the chimney, they cling on to it and their head explodes a few minutes later after they expire.
Now that would be an awesome version of zombies.

>>4433315
This is fucking awesome, wait 'till I tell my mum what she's been using for a health drink.

It DOES explain why it's full of DELICIOUS NUTRIENTS, though.

>>4433332
Looted ant?

>>4433353

This giant ant didn't need to be painted red.

It was already FASTA.

>>4433341
oh god, I can see it now.

humans growing a fine white fur on their faces clawing at themselves and screaming as then run into tall buildings and leap off them.

The fungus growing so fast that stalks protrude from their ears within an hour, and inflate to become spore-filled sacs.

When the human hits the ground, depending on the length of the fall, they crack open and explode in a shower of white spores, revealing a hollow shell.

Paras? Paras paras?

>>4433381
One man has found a way to stop the infection, and has perhaps even found a cure.

Santa Claus.

Unfortunately he has been rendered horrible insane in the process, and thus hides for most of the year. That is, apart from Christmas, where for a reason known only to him he secretly delivers presents to every house.

You must find this man, before it is too late. The fate of the human race rests on whatever that old man thought up.

Cracked.com

Great source for critters or campaign twists, suprisingly enough.

>>4433382
oh god.

>>4433341
>>4433381
...
The process wouldn't speed up in human hosts. If it were possible it'd take much longer. We actually have a complex and fairly competent immune system whereas the ant has pretty much none in comparison.

i heard of one that preyed on moths, it was like a vine, creeper, fungus... thing.
it did the same thing, and used the height of the moth on the plant to gain a head start, then climbed higher.

>>4433341

I like the mental image of a crowd of people, intersperesed with police, all wearing gas masks. Suddenly one man starts screaming, clawing at his face and running, so fast the cloth of his pants rips and his skin tears, towards the nearest building or wall,clawing his way up. His hands dug into brick and mortar, nails ripped from his hands as he drag his screaming body up.

Meanwhile panic has broken out as people try their damndest to get inside somewhere secure. Doors are closed to people as a mob mentality break out.

Police fire on the climber, only to watch in abject misery as their bullets have no affect on a man driven by insane levels of adrenaline.

The regret in their eyes as hey realise they should have been running too.

>>4433420

Despite the fact that the ant has next to no immune system, I still respect the hell out of them. Not because they hurt like a bitch when they bite you in swarms, though that doesn't make me respect them less. Not because they build shit faster than your most competent human craftsmen, though that certainly doesn't make me respect them less, either. Not even because they attack things that are many times larger than they are.

I respect the hell out of them because of a paranoid belief that they'll come for me if I don't.

There was a Swamp Thing comic crossover with Batman wherein the latter had been infected by a mutant strain of this fungus, and wound up going nuts as he tried to climb things until the former cured him.

Good times, good times.

>>4433448

>>4433450

I love ants because they're awesome little builders who FIGHT FOR THEIR FRIENDS and who, by working together, can take down almost any creature on their level. Obviously they have trouble with big things like us, but otherwise.

Hell, they're the Imperial Guard of the insect world.

There's one species affecting ants where the ant is compelled to run back into the nest. If another any sees it acting erratically, it'll grab the infected ant, take it as far away from the nest as possible and then dump it.

If the infected ant ever makes it into the nest, it will then burst and infect the entire colony.

>>4433467

Now imagine THAT as a zombie

>>4433450

They go for your dick, first.

>>4433459
Issue number, please

>>4433420
You noticed the white furry stuff on your back on the third day when it started itching, but didn't take too much notice. After all, it wasn't as if you could just take a bath when you were homeless. You tried your best to scrub it off.

On the eighth day, it had spread all down your arm and round to your chest. You developed the cough, then, as if something sticky had crawled down your throat.

By the tenth day your hair was more white than brown. You were raving by that point, arms flailing stiffly as you tried to climb the buildings on the town outskirts.

On the fifteenth day you reached the top of the church. Your death grip around the cross was hard to remove.

The next day you were dead. dead as the fungus ate into your brain and your bones fell apart to release more spores.

Soon your children would be everywhere.

I'm stealing this for my D&D 4e campaign.

This one's even more fucked up.

Basically, it's a worm that infects snails and fills the snail's eyes with its brood, which makes the snail's tentacles to swell up and start pulsing colorfully.

THEN IT MIND CONTROLS THE SNAIL TO MAKE IT CLIMB TO THE HIGHEST PLACE IT CAN FIND, AND USES ITS COLORFUL BLOATED PULSATING FORM TO HYPNOTIZE BIRDS INTO EATING THE SNAIL'S EYES.

THEREBY DEPOSITING ITS YOUNG IN THE BIRD'S STOMACH.

Now imagine this with a human. Eyes vast and swollen with alien colors, climbing on top of a TV antenna and screaming in ecstasy as a flock of birds swoops in and pecks out his swollen eyeballs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qN2XMyxAs5o&feature=player_embedded

The jewel wasp immobilizes its prey with its stinger.
It proceeds to conduct neurosurgery using its stinger, using its venom to prevent intelligent movement in the prey, leaving it to basic twitching.
The antennae are removed and blood is sucked from the holes before the cockroach is dragged away.
Legs are laid on top of the cockroach. Larvae develops, burrows inside the still-living, still complacent cockkroach. It hollows it out and cocoons inside it. A few weeks later, a new jewel wasp bursts out of the carcass, alive and healthy.

>>4433448
When the final bullet hits him in the head, showering them with a white powder?

Being horribly mycophobic, I should never have read this thread.

I'm afraid to take a shit now in case mushrooms start shooting out my ass.

Ants are the dwarves of the insect world

>>4433509
>HYPNOTIZE BIRDS INTO EATING THE SNAIL'S EYES
As far as I can remember, those birds eat snails anyway so climbing up high only makes them more noticable to the bird. Also, I'm not sure, but I think the birds themselves aren't really affected by it, they just shit out the parasites while flying and then it gets eaten by snails and the cycle continues.

Any modern campaign can be turned into a dystopian Apocalypse with the addition of a horrific parisite or bacteria of some description.

Also.

Google 'The Human Bot Fly'.

>>4433522
>>I'm afraid to take a shit now in case mushrooms start shooting out my ass.

And this, my friends, is how a plumber ends up spending his days chasing mushrooms.

>>4433531

So....this worm basically spends its entire life cycle either living inside something else or being shat out?

There's a parasite that turns a certain ant bright red and makes it hang out on berry bushes, so that birds will inadvertently eat the ant, and then the parasite can live inside the bird.

>>4433551
That's about it, yes.

>>4433341
>>4433509

Read The Kurosagi Corpse Delivery Service.
Looks like my copy's gone, but they totally did this already.

>>4433551
1. Wallowing in shit pools.
2. Wallowing in snail stalks.
3. Wallowing in bird stomachs.

That's the life-cycle.

>>4433552
that's what it's like when yore a parasite. hey, at least he gets to spend a few days looking out of someone's eyes.

>>4433568
That's what I used to look up the name. I'd known about the thing before I read Kurosagi Corpse Delivery Service, but KCDS mentions the name of the beast, Leucochloridium.

It's in Volume 4, btw. The last chapter.

>>4433582

>"You mean we've been INSIDE some dude all this time?"

god damn you, /tg/.

i'm in class right now, laughing softly into my hat, while gasping for air. dickants and anal 'shrooms, indeed.

Campaign idea: you and the rest of your party are parasitic fungi. you just recently grew from a spore, presumably inside a giant snail. you must infect its eye stalks before the bird migration season so that you may be eaten. you will have to plan your attack carefully, working your way up through whatever system you choose; circulatory, digestive, nervous, etc. fight off the snail's horrendous defenses, such as immune cells, antibodies, even other diseases and fungi who are all going for the eyes. brave hazardous organs that secrete acids, toxins, and mucus.

INFECTION

>>4433634

Quick slacking your shit off and study your goddamned textbook, collegeboy.

>>4433638
MADAGASCAR HAS CLOSED ITS PORTS

>>4433540
Botfly in his balls. IN. HIS. FUCKING. BALLS.

http://www.vexman.com/botfly.htm

>>4433671
Ffffff...
I can't accurately describe the sensation I felt when I read that.
All I can say is horror, shock, pain and sympathy.

>>4433638

I should look at my old Spore based campaign and see if it can be retrofitted from evolving races to evolving infections.

Or look at the possibility of making a character who was essential a sapient virus. Similiar idea over my last Nurgle lord.

Consider that one type of fungus that mind controls the ant into going back to the colony before exploding.

Now, a fungus like that affecting a human would probably have to be more complex, and humans are smart enough to run away from percieved infection. So, imagine in this case if the man stumbling around muttering gibberish was compelled to grab the first person he could find in a big hug, pulling his face as close to the stranger's as possible. Then stalks grow out of his nostrils, his ears, welling up out of his throat, each one tipped with a bud full of spores. Then the spores are all released into the stranger's face, the infected man dies and collapses. The victim stumbles back coughing wildly, not sure what just happened.

It will be several days before his thoughts start to fall apart and only then will he realize the truth.

>>4433836

I prefer the thought of a shabby homeless guy who just explodes into a mist of fibers on a train - forcing everyone stuck between stations to inhale a heafty dose of White Death.

>>4433864

Yeah but I mean, c'mon: Hug zombies

>>4433671

Oh God! I never realized they could lay more then one larva at a time... Holt shit, dude.

Do you think the guy was sterile after that?

>>4433873

But Zombies are only looking for big ol' hugs in the first place. All that brains and flesh stuff? Just throwing you off the scent of their true goal.

Zombies are notorious hug monsters.

Hairworms infect grasshoppers, injecting proteins in their brains so that the grasshoppers will find a body of water, jump in, and commit suicide. The worms live and breed in water but grow up as parasites on land.

This isn't /an/... Is it?

The ultimate parasites for your PCs.

>>4433540
>>4433671
>>4433751
>>4433888

If the eggs get implanted near your tear ducts, the Botfly can make it's way into your frontal lobe and eat part of it.

>>4433939

Not for the weak of stomach. Apparently this occurs more comonly in young children, when the skull isn't fully formed and the larvae get get into the brain. Bot fly larvae are usually only an inch or two long, so give the size comparios to the brain in this picture, it seems probable that it's a picture of a child's brain.

>>4433315

I actually based an online superhero RPG around this (homebrew system, not M&M).

A cosmic-level macro-scale version of Cordyceps was basically the settings version of Galactus, called the World Eater Strain. Almost universally infectious, it invaded an organism, first attacking the nervous system to get control of it. Then, it commands them to gather in large number, all the while producing large numbers of spores in the form of a black gunk that was extremely difficult to damage without aerosolising it. The infected gather and climb up, up and up, to the highest point on the local landscape.

They then construct a fruiting body out of as much of the local uninfected bio-matter as can be gotten a hold of (animals, plants, humans etc). This is where it diverts from the fungus, in that they next essentially build an egg, using all available bio matter (including themselves).

When the infection reached the right stage, the egg hatched into the infection vector that would leave the planet and search out and infect new ones (kind of like Galactus's Heralds). Their flight is powered by all the gathered biomatter, and in cases take-off has been known to reach relativistic speeds.

Obviously they beat it, though.

Did everyone get a visit from the Saint of Parasites or something?

>>4433977

The infection tended to spread in the early stages; before causing them to gather and build, the fungus incited extreme feral rage in its victims, causing them to lash out at uninfected organisms. Either this would kill them or infect them by getting the gunk in their bloodstream via an open wound.

These beserkers made up the main body of the enemy, but later stages of the infection adapted host bodies to defend the nest, which allowed a variety of threats for the party.

Went down really well, actually.

>>4433992

I don't know how yet, but this WILL be used in my Lustrian campaign. Too fucking awesome to not be.

Anybody heard about that one arthropod parasite that climbs into a fish's mouth, devours the tissue of the fish's tongue, then permanantly attaches itself to where the base of the tongue was, and become the fish's NEW (and independently alive) tongue?

>>4434007
Yes, they're isopods.

inb4 giant parasitic isopods.

Candiru.

That is all.

>>4434005

Thanks. It was inspired by Galactus (obviously) so I was worried that it would be seen as a rip-off; glad to see it being almost universally well recieved.

Now that I have said this, the trolls will come.

I like those threads. Heard of the slugs and shitfungi earlier (thanks, again, Bogleech. ) So I'll mention a few more things.

- Toxoplasma gondii is a very common protist. It can change the behavior patterns of mice, removing their fear of cats to get to its final, feline host. There's evidence it can change human behavior as well, it reportedly makes women more attractive and aggressive.
- The lancet fluke likewise brainwashes ants into climbing long blades of leaf so that they can be eaten by livestock.
- Neurocysticercosis results from tapeworm eggs hatching near the brain, a place they were never meant to be. In order to survive, they produce cysts, slowly driving you insane by pooping all over your brain.
- Candiru fish are parasites that live in gillslits of other fish. They are reported to climb up the urinal channels of people and die there, though only one such case is recorded.
- Schistosoma haematobium adults live in your bladder, cause it to be calcified and you to pee blood.
- Metagonimus yokagawai fluke takes a more direct approach and simply drills its way into human body. It usually goes for the guts, but can end up in interesting places such as the brain or the heart with obvious results.

>>4434007

>>4434044

>There's evidence it can change human behavior as well, it reportedly makes women more attractive and aggressive.

I'm sorry, but this statement is going to require some extra information.

>>4434017
>>4434044

Candiru is only really terrible in humans, but when it's in humans it's not acting as a parasite; it's there mistakenly, it dies and it's decaying corpse can rapidly cause severe infection that may lead to gangrene.

>>4434012

Fucking isopods! I KNEW they weren't to be trusted!

>>4434007
There are also parasites that eat a shark's eyes and dangle off it. The shark actually benefits from it because its other senses are keen enough to compensate lack of eyes, and it eats any fish that come to catch the delicious, wriggling eyeworms.

The amphipod phronima eats salp, hollows the inside and dumps its eggs there, using the corpse of its former prey as a safe haven for both it and its children. I like how this one is striking a "Promotions!" (Phronimotions?) pose.

Time to pray to Nurgle. He'll help you keep your mental faculties AND spread the bounty of his love at the same time!

>>4433315
>Spiracles
>Spirals

YOUR FUNGUS IS THE FUNGUS THAT WILL SUNDER THE ANT KINGDOM.

>>4434082
<:3c

>>4434063
>(...) recent study has indicated toxoplasmosis is also correlated strongly with an increase in boy births in humans, leading to an alteration of the human sex ratio. According to the researchers, "depending on the antibody concentration, the probability of the birth of a boy can increase up to a value of 0.72 " The study also notes a mean rate of 0.60 to 0.65 (as opposed to the normal 0.51) for Toxoplasma positive mothers.

>One study suggests that a possible behavior modification is that people not infected with the parasite found women with toxoplasma more attractive than women who don't have toxoplasma.

>>4433963
Uh God, I'm gonna pyuuuuke

>>4433466
sisters of battle more like. Since they're usually all technically female with only males being born everyone once in a while.

this thread needs more tapeworms

>>4434104

I've never been more compelled to worship Nurgle in my life.

>>4434007

My crazy pseudo-undead Pirate Captain in a 4th Ed campaign I'm in has a version of that as a background piece.

Why create imaginary parasites when real life ones already exist ?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxoplasmosis

Statistically about 30% of the persons posting ITT are hosts to Toxoplasma gondii, a small parasite living in the brain.
While very rarely lethal for the host it has the interesting property of modifying its neural behavior to make it take more risks for its usual way of propagating is to get the host (always a mamal) to get killed and eaten by another mamal. Mice infected with it in labs are shown to no longer fear the scent of cats unlike uninfected ones.
Of course humans are not typical mamals and rarely get eaten in the wild and the most risk-junkies get are car accidents yet the idea that about a third of the world population has an altered behavior because of this small parasite is fascinating.

>>4433671
i can honestly now feel a fucking botfly in my sack.
squirming around and slowly eating my testicles.

>>4434106
Too bad they're infiltrated by cults of Slaaneshi aphids. Aphids can give birth so fast that they can be pregnant (or during the process of birth) the moment they are born. They also need no males as they are capable of reproducing parthenogenically, so it's essentially a giant, eternal lesbian orgy. If they feel like taking some cock, they give birth to the males during the autumn, and then the lesbian birthfest continues.

They also drain sugary water from plants so fast that some of it leaks out of their back. Truly creatures that would make Prince of Excess proud. I always did like the concept of a permanently horny lesbian aphid girl that drips sweet syrup from her vagina.

>>4434148

>Of course humans are not typical mamals

Okay, I'm sorry, what?

>>4434106
leafcutter ants are born male if the egg is not fertilized, female if it is -- that way, if there are no males, then males are born.

>>4434138

Tapeworms aren't so bad, except when you feel them moving.

It's when you shit them out, yard after yard of them, that things get truly unpleasant.

...

Fuck I don't know whether to be creeped out, fascinated, or both.

>>4434150

Give him an few days and he might find his way into your penis.

FUCK THIS THREAD ;_;

but I'm still using some of these ideas next session

Hey guise can we play too?

>>4434205
What, what is this thing?

>>4434165

You can have hundreds of tapeworms, so many in fact that they can block off your intenstines. When that happens they will try to escape, usually thorough the anus but sometimes they take the scenic oral rout wich results in vomiting.

Vomiting squirming tapeworms.

>>4433315
>>4433509
>>4433540
>>4433671
>>4433963
>>4433992
>>4434044
>>4434045
>>4434087
>>4434099
>>4434148
>this thread

>>4434205
I'm sorry, but tapeworms can do that already. The substances they release give you horrid headaches and then drive you nuts.

>>4434211
Shopped.

This entire thread is like Nurgles wet dream.

Maybe Slaanesh's too.

>>4434216

Nice picture. Also, I feel the bile welling in my gullet.

>>4434205
I'm crying in pain and disgust!

>>4434205

No. Go back to /x/.

>>4434218
>kakuri_crying_tears_of_blood.png
>A thread about natural parasites.
That feels... oddly appropriate, too bad no-one's going to get the joke.

This could make a nice side-quest for any given campaign. Find out that your character is invested with parasites that are trying to escape your fleshy prison.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgzQ7IJ9v84&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOaZCkA8Zvk&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6pAfQInf2c

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiHtUFuGgSA&feature=related


And my favourite though not a worm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pysO5JyDDk

>>4434253

>>invested

Wait, so, the parasites and running a Savings & Loans operation?

>>4434267

How else do you explain how PCs always carry around a crippling weight of gold and currency?

ITT: True horror

http://www.cracked.com/article_15816_5-most-horrifying-bugs-in-world.html

Fuck your fungi, these insects are scary as fuck.

The two types of ants on this article scare the living fuck out of me. It's shit like this that gives me the rare feeling of being thankful that I live in a desert.

Archive this

>>4433348
wat

>>4434318
seconded

>>4434314

I get a scary feeling that Africanised Bees are where the real horror is at. Fuck terrifying parasites, world ending pig AIDS or doom SCIENCE.

Angry Bees, /tg/.

Angry.

Fucking.

Bees.

>>4434335

But it still makes living on Earth a far more fuck-awesome concept.

Let's face it; if you take away all the scary, freaky, brick-shitting trivia and minutia that pervade this planet, you have a pretty fucking boring place to exist.

Stuff like this turns the real world into a potential campaign setting.

>>4434337

Africanized Honeybees can't go much further north; they can't survive the colder winters.

>>4434353
Which is why most of us don't leave the fucking house

>>4434337
pig aids? pig flu, not aids, unless you're fucking pigs.

>>4434364
come on dude, you know you want to do dungeonin' IRL

>>4434368
bees fucking pigs

>>4434364

I hear there's bears out there.

>>4434375
"Okay, I close my eyes and swing my mighty sword at the bear... what now?"
"Run"
"What?"
"FUCKING RUN, GODDAMMIT!"

>>4434377

aids zombie pigs filled with flu bees

OINK OINK BUZZ BUZZ EXPLODE

>>4434314
Desert? Silly anon, Middle Eastern people aren't allowed on the Internet!

>>4434356

I know those bees are working on how to sow. Soon you'll see all-black bees when they realise how fucking cool they look in leather jackets made from the dried skin of those fucking children they just killed.

>>4434364

I live in Australia. I'm used to the concept of avoiding death from the local fauna and flora on a daily basis.

>>4434148 the idea that about a third of the world population has an altered behavior because of this small parasite is fascinating

I don't think the third of the world population infected with this parasite has any altered behavior because of it. The information about this is completely non-scientific. For a start, the parasite comes from cats. Any research done on the "average of what an infected person is like" should be read as the following: "cat-liking people are more likely to be like this". If there was a study of the same kind of people who prefer dogs, it is 100% likely you would get results like "They are more likely to be aggressive". And if these dogs had a parasite, then this parasite would be to blame.

These kind of behavior-altering parasites are specifically tailored to certain species. This parasite exists to target rats. It isn't surprising at all that it can manage to survive in a human, or that it can cause health problems in the few individuals with a weak system, but thinking that it still changes behavior is something else. The information on this subject, such as seen on the wikipedia page, is shady and contradictatory. For example, one research claims it makes men passive while another says it makes them take more risks. That is quite a problem.

>>4434216
Fuck you, FUCK YOU!

>>4434368

You really don't think this all started with one horny guy looking at a pig after a long nights hard drinking?

>>4434392

Wait, so why are you worried about africanized honeybees if you live in Australia? Shit, half the wildlife down there makes killer bees look like giant faggots by comparison.

>>4434391
Las Vegas, you dick

>>4434392
Yeah we worry about fauna here all the time, particularly the two-legged kind.

>>4434165

Tapeworm can move... As far as I remember tapeworm is head, that serves as it's anchor ïn stream of shit and proglottises, which are unit it's body consis of... these are nothing more, than egg factories, so I think, the tapeworm lack any muscles and therefore cannot move.

>>4434423

There's more then one kind of tape worm

>>4434216
wrong, you're confusing roundworms whit tapeworms. tapeworms are territorial and kill every other worm before latching onto a bowel and growing up to 12 meters, roundworms are the ones you described.

>>4434420

I really hate honey.

>>4434392
Everyone must respect Australians.
No one else has the courage to go surfing in a tide filled with lethal jelly fish, with only vinegar as the nearest medication if you get stung.

>>4434423

Really? Huh, then what's causing all these random little localized muscle spasms in my gut?

>>4434420
Reread what you just posted.

African bees coming to Australia, becoming Australian bees, in their own right. Adapting. Changing.

>half the wildlife down there makes killer bees look like giant faggots by comparison.

These new Australian Killer Bees will doom us all.

>>4434439
Vinegar is for pussies. You're supposed to suck the poison out and then gulp it and say it tastes like chicken

>>4434439

My Great Aunt lives down there, and says her back yard is full of funnelweb spiders. She says you just wear thick boots and they never bother you.

>>4434451
jellyfish makes a damn good spread on a bagel

>>4434436
cow tapeworn, swine tapeworm and fis tapeworm, AKa as Taenia Solius, Taenia Saginata and Diphyllobothrium Latum, all of them can parasite the bowels by eating contaminated meat, but T. Solium can also parasite the flesh (particularly the brain)- if eggs are ingested.

Here in Fluxico they're the main cause of convulsions, not epilepsy.

>>4434423

Look up the vidya about a tapeworm moving in this thread.

>>4434437

How they kill them? They have no mouth and obviously cant strandulate them.

>These kind of behavior-altering parasites are specifically tailored to certain species.

Not necessarily. See rabies.

And there isn't even conclusive information about whether owning cats increases the risk. Do you seriously think scientists are taking people who own cats and doing research on them without verifying for toxoplasmosis?

Fun fact: several drugs used in schizophrenia treatment are harmful against Toxoplasma.

>>4434451
... How the fuck do you suck out jellyfish poison? You might as well try and suck off a birth mark.

>>4434446

Mother of God, he's right...

>>4434453

She's right. Don't piss the fuckers off. It's as true in life as it is in the workplace. Australian creatures aren't really looking to fuck you over - they're just willing to reduce you to a piss stained wreck of a human being if you so much as trifle them.

The Casowary, on the other hand...

>>4434461
they DO have mouths, but they kill them by growing as fast as they can and pushing eaachother off the bowell's wall before they can grasp firmly. if they cant then the one latched igger on the e bowell will try and og all the blood , the ones lower will eventually starve.

finally a mature tapeworm secretes a chermical which inhibits the growth of young ones, as it sheds whole sections of it's body filled whit sperm sacs and freshly fertilized ova.

>>4434463
Fuck, high school flashback. My old anatomy teacher told us a story about him and some friends doing some kind of vacation/tour of South America. While at the beach somewhere, some kid got raped by jellyfish. Apparently, no one carries vinegar, so him and his buds took turns pissing on the kid while explaining to his parents that urine is good for jellyfish stings.

R Kelly should have used that defense.

>>4434479
Cassowaries are worse then people, and you KNOW people are pretty fucked up.

They kill things just because it's fun, they'll slash you to pieces and then leave your bloody carcass on the ground to go find something else to hurt.

ALL OF THEM ARE LIKE THIS!

>>4434337
> Fuck ... SCIENCE.

odd you should say this with africanized bees.

AFRICANIZED BEES WERE CREATED BY SCIENTISTS.

They wanted to make a honeybee that could live in the jungle.

Instead, they got a madly territorial, swarming, angry, deadly bee hybrid that not only lives in jungles, but has readily adapted to deserts too.

>>4434506
AND SOON THEY WILL BE READY TO TAKE TO THE MOON!

>See rabies.

I've been wondering if there's a way to modify rabies so it wouldn't fuck up the digestive tract as much, ie. letting rabies victims still drink water and thus survive to spread it longer.

>>4434503

Cassowary killed my dog. My dog was running away. I watched, saw it all happened. Didn't even bother to try and help - just ran like fuck.

Scariest moment of my life.

>>4434506

I still don't know why they wanted honey in the jungle.

>>4434514
After watching that god-awful Quarantine, I wondered something similar. Then I combined that with 28 Days Later and Cell AND Mr. Grimm's ending on Twisted Metal 2 and fapped to this mental image of armegeddon.

>>4434514
What, do you want to try and recreate the Rage Virus or something?

I saw this on the discover channel once. On this beach there was a marine bilogist doing research on box jellyfish, right? Well, he was collecting their tentacles and storing them in plastic bottles full of water. He was keeping them in a refrigerator in a little shed by the beach itself. Well, he shared this shed and refrigerator with the local safeguards. They had one shelf, he had one shelf. Well, one day one of the newer guards comes in, and reaches for a bottle of water.

He ends up swallowing several lengths of box jellyfish tentacle, which can still sting well after death of the animal.

>>4434519
Haven't you seen Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls?

Rich white people in Africa want their honey. And guano. Delicious guano.

>>4434546
SHIKAKA!!
SHIKAKA!!
SHIKAKAAAAA!!

>This thread.

>>4434503
>The one documented human death caused by a cassowary was that of Phillip Mclean

OH GOD.

I'M A MCLEAN.
THEY'VE TASTED OUR BLOOD.

THEY'LL SOON REDISCOVER FLIGHT AND COME TO SCOTLAND.

>>4434543
I can see that is a very inventive assassination method.

>>4434462
Rabbies is a virus. That's quite different.

>And there isn't even conclusive information about whether owning cats increases the risk.
It's strange that I didn't see this information on wikipedia, but last I heard, the vast majority of cat owners are infected. Here's a good reason: this parasite can only reproduce in cats. All of these parasites in the entire world came from cats.

>>4434538
I don't think it'll be nearly as awesome but with any luck we might be able to create a useful population control agent.

As a counter to the horror, some humor from an article related to a linked article:

http://www.cracked.com/article_17032_7-species-that-get-high-more-than-we-do.html

Pic definitely related.

>>4434519

Fuck, man. That sucks. For anybody who still doubts that birds are decended from predatory dinosaurs, I present this motherfucker here as Exhibit A.

Also, amongst mammals, bats are the true heralds of Nurgle. Ebola? Check. Nipahvirus? Check. SARS? Check. Rabies? Check. They are also immune to most of them, and have powerful antibodies for those they aren't immune to (they last a lot longer when rabid for example)

Filled with all kinds of disease, yet not harmed by them, flying around and cheerfully spreading plague? Sounds like Nurgle to me.

>>4434546

Fuckers should man up and make their own honey.

>>4434582
from wikipedia
>disembowel a man or dog with one kick, with the long second toe claw cutting the gut open

FUUUUUCK THAT

This thread reminds me how much of a psychotic cunt mother nature is.

>>4434600

Now imagine running the fuck away from one with an airgun and a shovel while you hear your dog howl in pain.

These fuckers are the stuff of nightmares.

>>4434605

It is in the fires of constant war that humanity has been forged into a fucking killing machine, capable of surviving damn near anywhere on this planet aganst damn near anything.

>>4434585
they tried, and now we have the bees

>>4434205

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?

>>4434572
Lancet flukes then, those infect many different species of ant and cause the same changes.

>>4434628

...

FUCK.

HONEY HAS FUCKING DOOMED US ALL.

>>4434633
IT'S NOTHING. IT'S AN ADVERT FOR A GAME CALLED 'COLD FEAR'

NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT.

>>4434582
Fuck I could kill that with my bare hands.

Just stand your fucking ground and snap its neck like a weak twig. Sure, it might peck your leg or something, but if you really want to, you can kill it.

>>4434659

See

>>4434600

>>4434659
Remember velociraptors? Not the pansy feathered ones, the giant fictional ones in Jurassic Park that would rip you apart in a blink?

Those things have the same claws. Saying you could strangle them is like saying you could rip off the arms of a T. rex.

>>4434659

Peck your leg?

This ain't your daddies flightless bird, son.

This is a fucking Australian critter.

They disembowl you.

I can't believe I'm the first to mention the shrike.

>Shrikes are known for their habit of catching insects, small birds, or mammals and impaling their bodies on thorns. This helps them to tear the flesh into smaller, more conveniently-sized fragments, and serves as a cache so that the shrike can return to the uneaten portions at a later time.

Aparently, they've recently become very fond of nesting near razor wire and other artificial human spikes, because they allow better places to impale their victims.

>>4434689
God damn, now I totally want to buy a barbed wire fence and a flock of attack shrikes.

>>4434689
Well, there's also quite a lot of poisonous birds. Not only their flesh - their feathers are coated in poison. The same kind that poison dart frogs use.

While those toxins are less potent than the dart frogs', Chinese writings also tell of the zhen-bird, of which venom was powerful enough to be used in assassinations. No such species were discovered near China, but we may be in for a pleasant surprise. Like flying, poisonous dinosaurs that those birds are.

>>4434659
this bird is almost as tall as you are, and has legs that more closly resemble a velociraptor than any bird you've ever seen.

If you are close enough to grab it, you've already been kicked with enough force you rupture your spleen.

This thread has basically taught me that anything that has spent any time in the air in it's evolutionary path is guarenteed to be capable of fucking your shit up.

I include Peguins in this statement.

>>4434751
>I include Peguins in this statement

The Heron: Nature's Sadist

>>4434778

Fuckers may not look like much on the land, but you mess with them underwater and you will never draw breath again.

>>4434778

If it ain't black and white- peck, scratch and bite.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VklTs-Tid_I

Here's a video of a golden eagle killing a mountain goat that's nearly twice the size of the eagle. How does the eagle do this? By flying at the goat, grabbing it by the leg and then TOSSING ITSELF AND THE GOAT DOWN A CLIFF. It actually maneuvers the goat for the first, short part of the fall so that it slams into an outcropping of rock before going into a final tumble.

>>4434788
I laughed uncontrollably

>>4434788
Did...did that Heron just kill a bunny by holding it underwater until the bunny drowned?

>>4433466

>FIGHT FOR FRIENDS!

Brother Hero Miek!!!

>>4434837
Yes.
Heroes are sick.

>>4434819

Spending time in the air sends species psychotic.

remember /tg/ that while humans may not have any physical means to be a deadly predator that's doesn't mean we aren't deadly. Humans have some of the best endurance of any creature in the animal kingdom and considering how much we can alter the environment to kill our prey we are still one of the most deadly things this psychotic rock has ever created.

>>4434837
aye, they also learned to steal bread and use it to lure fish.

>>4434788

Oh no. :(

Fuck that bunny was cute.

>>4434853
FUCK

>>4434837
That's pretty much what we're looking at here.

Herons are assholes

>>4434788
There is a video on YouTube about a Pelican swallowing a LIVE Pidgeon!

>>4434847
NUKE THE BIRDS

>>4434885
Duck, actually.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arpIBn7AH_0

I love how all the other ducks don't quite understand what happened and just deny the event all together

>>4434819

JESUS FUCK

>>4434889

I fucking hate getting swooped by birds. It's always so tense. Hearing that WOOSH and seeing the shadow on the ground as they come down on you, the fuckers.

Ruined my favourite jacket, a fucking crow did.

Sometimes Nature has bugs and glitches

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9vxHN8_jSE

>>4434907
I can imagine the eagle going "LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO A LITTLE FRIEND OF MINE CALLED GRAVITY, IT SURE IS A BITCH AIN'T IT"

>>4434889
That's a fowl thing to do.

In a few centuries, Earth will be Catachan. Mark my words.

>>4434819

In my next campaign, a specific group of flying creatures are going to kill players like that. I'm not sure which group, yet, but dammit if I don't use that.

That's fucking awesome.

Man, this thread feels like something from the X-Files.

ARCHIVE THIS.

This has inspired me to give my warp-damned players new mindfucks for always making me DM Eberron.

>>4434969
>Man, this thread feels like a series of awesome ideas for some epic-ass campaigns.

>>4433420
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxoplasma_gondii

but the human body isnt really parasite proof, i dont really wanna think about it though, it creeps me the fuck out.

>>4434983

I plan on using a shit load of this for inspiration on a Lustria based WFRP campaign.

FUCK YEAH, BACTERIA AND INSECTS.

>>4434918
This is not uncommon.
the vast majority of herbivorous creatures are omnivores that subsist on a mainly plant diet simply because plants don't run away.

Cows are slow, if they could run like horses, they'd eat small mammals and reptiles in addition to plants.

Hell, horses eat anything they can catch.

>>4435011
>>Cows are slow, if they could run like horses, they'd eat small mammals and reptiles in addition to plants.

>>Hell, horses eat anything they can catch.

I can honestly say I did not know this and you have scared the ever living shit out of me.

Guys.

Elephants love getting drunk.
In asia, they actually raid small villages, break into their supplies, and drink all their rice wine before rampaging out again.

Elephants.
Have learned.
How to raid humans.

let that sink in.

>>4435046

Elephants are turning into your average Chicago south-sider?

FUCK.

>>4435046
they also gangrape and then kill rhinos and other big creatures, including juvenile male elephants.

yes, they invented gangbangs, xenophilia and pedo too.

>>4435039
I once saw a horse stand over a prarie dog hole and wait for one to pop its head up, stomp it, and eat it.

>>4435076
"who wacks-a-mole now bitch? WHO DOES? "

>>4435046

WHO THE FUCK HAS BEEN LETTING ELEPHANTS PLAY DWARF FORTRESS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp-0BtK1zIk

hippos are too slow to hunt , but they steal carasses and eat those foolis enoug to come close of it's mouth, like dwarfs

>>4435088
You've got it backwards.

Dwarf Fortress is based on reality.

Dwarves have a blood alcohol level that hovers between 3 and 6 percent.

They're like little bearded wine coolers.

i'm laughing kind of uncontrollably right now
but that's only because of how scared i am
;_;

Feyliege's level 24 power is amazing.

Clint Eastwood dies, and suddenly becomes 'GET OFF MY LAWN' Eastwood. Fucking incredible.

>>4435146

Don't worry anon. You're perfectly safe while you're on the internet. Just don't turn around.

>>4435163

..wtf?

Reality really is the grimdarkest setting of all.

so i had this picture open in another tab
and forgot about it

later i clicked
scared myself ;_;

>>4435192

FFFF THOSE THINGS ARE REAL LIFE MONSTERS

THAT IS SOMETHING YOU SEE IN A MONSTER MANUAL GODDAMN

>>4435190

But only when you filter through all the excess fluff.

Won't somebody archive this? I'd do it myself, but I'm rubbish at describing/tagging stuff.

>>4435229

ARCHIVED

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4433315/

I think I just found a pic of the dreaded Cassowary piercing through a wooden board to get a the soft meatbag behind it.

>>4435312
JESUS FUCK

>>4435312

Fuck you, this is just what I need to see before heading out for work.

I ride a bike near a wooded clearing, for fuck sake.

>>4435312
These kinds of things are the reason I carry a sword and handgun when I leave my house.

>>4435346

Well enjoy your MONSTERS, then.

>>4435366
>These kinds of things are the reason my character carries a sword and handgun when I roleplay over IRC from my house.

ftfy

>>4435392

I've never really understood that acronym because I swear I see it used in so many different capacities.

"Fixed that for you"? Is that it?

>>4435488
i suppose, e should have used the standard "fxd" instead

WHY IS THIS THREAD STILL ACTIVE?!

>>4435488

fyi ftfy is srs bsnss hth btw yjltg gtfo

>>4435626

THEY... JUST... WON'T... DIE

>>4435626
because you bumped it again
dumbshit

Oh god