rarh i eet yur hed om nom nom nom

"My glory is your defeat. My win is your loss. My life is your death!"

"Use the white dragon they said. It will save some gold, the said. Worthless."

>>4454284
Not so much grammatically incorrect as it was a hideous butchery of the English language.

Fuck you,I'm the loli.

I will show this misbegotten world why all the ancient empires of legend were made by humanities hand.

>>4454307
>humanities
Apparently they'll be shown without the correct use of possessive apostrophes.

Out of every race we have conquered, your is the only one that speaks of this ..."Free will".

Does it not sadden you that your entire civilization was based on a concept that could never logically exist?

All you have done...Is waste your own time.

>>4454292
What?


"You know what? We are afraid of the same thing. We're the same on that basic, emotional level. But, you see, you haven't realized what you're afraid of. You've always had that thing, that one thing that made you forget, made you never realize your fears. I, on the other hand... I never had it. I'm not afraid anymore, because i'm already suffering from it. That's why i hate you. That's why i'm going to kill you right here, right now. Because i hate you so much. Because you're lucky, and i'm not.
Now, meet death."

"I, for one, feel no need to shower you with insults and attempt to make you feel sorry for me. I shall let my blades do the talking."

...Cant a Lich study in peace?

"Fuck you!!!! I'm a badger!" or
"Fuck you!!!! I have a badger" (when i play 4e, shaman with badger as animal spirit)

used every fucking day

Being undead sucks, I miss my jaw.

>>4454305
I've used that one before. We were playing a game of MaidRPG, and our master said we could only have one loli maid in the party. I wanted to play a loli vampire necromancer. The other guy wanted to play a loli scientist genius character who was pretty much his old Star Wars character as a loli.

>>4454406
I fucking know you. You played a one-off on suptg with me and you had a badger.

"I am the great Cackletta's most best pupil, who is named Fawful! I am here, laughing at you! If you are giving us the chase, just to get your silly princess's voice, then you are idiots of foolishness! Princess Peach's sweet voice will soon be the bread that makes the sandwich of Cackletta's desires! And this battle shall be the delicious mustard on that bread! The mustard of your doom!"

"This spaceship... I lied to you. It can land, yes. But i haven't said how. You see, this is nothing more than an evac capsule. It will hit the atmosphere, it's thermal shield will survive, tho. Then, a special parachute will brake us, shaking our bodies so hard that these comfy chairs will crush your ribs... if only. Then, it will hit the ground at like, don't know the number of miles per hour, but it IS going to hurt. Really hurt.
Now. Sit down, shut up, hold on.

>>4454431
What????
dude, i don't use to post in /tg/
actually i don't use to post in 4chan
but im sure that his badger was better than him

Once I was a Psyker in a game of DH, I loudly proclaimed
"MY HEAD IS MY WEAPON"

Before headbutting to poor SOB so hard his head exploded.

You though you had it all. But now, look at thyself. You're nothing. Nothing at all. You lost it. You had it.
Ain't it grand?

"May your profit exceed your tragedy."

Translated from Draconic. Popular among the Dragonborn and the Kobolds they bully.

"This world is a illusion, a reflection off a mirror. Allow me to shatter it."

"Now drink with me and make poses"

I played a Veteran Sgt Guardsmen in a DH game once. After a long fight with a demon(I had one arm and one of my legs was disabled) I told him "You have shed my blood. You have broken my bones. You have beaten me to a bloody pulp. You will not kill me. Period."

And then...I died.

"SHIT JUST GOT REAL!"

Evil guy: "The strong will survive, while the weak die. There is no way around it. It is a law of nature."
Good guy: "I never studied law! Defend yourself!"

"For the slingdom."

"This is the part of the fight where I'm supposed to spout some pseudo-philosophical crap to make myself sound deep and show that I've learned something about myself, but it boils down to this: I am better than you. All those henchmen you threw at me sharpened my skills nicely for gutting you, you miserable bastard."

Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.

>>4455504

Sup, Papa Nurgle.

>>4455504


sup, Isaiah 48:10

"No matter how many tears I squeeze from your eye sockets, no matter how many screams I wring from your tortured throat, it will never sate the rage I feel from what you have done this day. I shall break you again and again, and when I lose hope for any feelings of gratification I may gain from such actions, I will dominate you. You shall have no release from my iron will- not even death. For the only solace I could gain from this event is the destruction of your mind and the dedication of your body to great deeds. Reflect upon these words- for this shall be the last moment of your life not filled with torment. You are undone.

rolled 1, 4, 3 = 8

Don't have a favorite quote but these from the 4th ed. FR Players guide is pretty awesome, “Kill me? You would better be served trying to cleave the
wind, or quell a volcano’s fury. Can you slay a mountain?”,“Only a fool fights against the wind.”,“Sheath your sword fool, or I’ll melt it to slag in your hands.”,"The stone is strong. It does not yield. Nor do I."

your show just got canceled *boom*

This is your stop! *kick someone off a moving vehicle*

Sucks to be you! *send someone out an airlock*

Dinner's on me *poison!*

Hate to ask, but can you break a fifty? *BOOM .50 cal HEADSHOT!*

We have knuckle sandwiches, but you should try the club! *HIT A FACE WITH CLUB*

If you won't take a knee, i'll take yours (kneecap attack!*

Why don't you take a good look at the view! *defenstration!*

You should wash your eyes thoroughly! *attack with acid*

How adoreable! *knock someone out with a door*

There's always room for jello! *kick someone into an ooze monster*

I've got a cure for what ales ya right here *smash an ale bottle over someone's head*

Give my regards to gandalf, motherfucker. *stab a wizard and cause him to fall off a really tall drop*

Sorry but i've no time to cuttle, *punch a mindflayer in the face*

*After breaking someone's arm* "Your bones have a good rhythm to them. Ever thought of joining a band?"

*Lighting someone on fire in a cold environment* "It's not ICE to meet you."

"My fists will bury you better than any shovel."

"What time is it? *Victim looks at watch in confusion* Time to die!"

"May your god have mercy on you, because I'm not going to."

*after chopping off someone's hand* "I hope you can count in a base five system!"

"Your blood will stain the ground and be the red carpet I will tread upon towards victory!"

"Not to worry, I'll remember you. I'm going to kill all your friends and family, so someone will have to."

"All practical applications of negotiation become impractical when the fighting starts."

>>4455641

cont

You're fired *flick a match into an importantly placed gas puddle*

Allow me to provide you with some visual aids! *bite lip and spit bloody saliva into foes eyes* (only works if you have AIDS)

Give yourself a hand! *cut off an enemy hand*

and gone tomorrow! *kill a rabbit or burn/ tear the hair off someone's head"

Lookout behind you! *snap a neck 180 degrees*

"I'm not following you because I want a part of this silly quest. I'm here because you're going the right way. I'm here because I need to kill five men. And then, I will die."

I will flay the skin from your flesh, rend the flesh from your bones, and break you into a thousand pieces.
And you still will not have suffered enough.

this thread has too much wangst wank, more puns godammit, more puns!

>>4455641

>Give my regards to gandalf, motherfucker. *stab a wizard and cause him to fall off a really tall drop*

I am using this

I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum...
-natural 1-
And I'm all out of ass.

>>4455873
Lollerofl'd.

"You're the species, I'm the extinction!"

>>4454272
(Leaving an enemy vampire staked in the sunrise)

You want mercy? *point to sun* Try asking God. I only give justice.

>>4455903
"Kiss the sun you filthy lick!"

>>4455928
Douse them with Blessed Sunny D first.
It probably won't do anything but humiliate them.
Still.

>>4455903

"...No God..."

>>4455775
>>4455641
There are only 2 types of puns that I like. These fall into one of those types.

"Hope you believe in reincarnation, otherwise this will suck"

I have in fact delivered "The gods forgive, my son; I do not. Perhaps you should take it up with them" before I Slay Living'ed a bad guy.

I think I'll set you on fire now...

>>4455952
More like "No GoAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!"

"I believe the term you are...searching for is 'god'."

"Who am I? I'm the kid who's dreams you screwed over so you could be a super-powered asshole. I'm the kid who's heroes you kicked in the teeth. I'm a miserable nobody I am gonna FUCK YOU UP!"

"You, Point. You, Ariel attack. You, reinforcements. And you? Shut up."

"I am not a god. Gods become forgotten. I am power."

"The Code bleeds. The Code protects. The Code is power, it is energy, it is creativity. The Code is God, it is All. The Code is the Ghost, the walk-through-walls. The Code is Power Overwhelming, idclip, UUDDLRLRSS. The Code is all. The Code bleeds, and demands that the bug be cleansed. The virus removed. I am the hammer of the Code. XYZZY, Plague."

Don't cry over spilled blood. ...well, I guess you can. Since it's your own. And all.

Gaze upon my awesomesauce, ye douchemotrons, and defibrilate!

(From a female drow.)

Cute axe. Did your daddy make it for you?

I agree with you in principle but you go too far, mom!

"It is not within my power to judge your soul, lost one. The Goddess, however, shall see to your fate, once I deliver you unto her. May you have her blessing, child."

THAT JUST RAISES FURTHER QUESTIONS!

>>4457700
There's actually comedy goldmines waiting to be tapped on account of drow women trying to be offensive/intimidating to surface males and failing. Like a female drill sergeant who got so angry at my platoon that she shrieked "OH, SO Y'ALL WANNA PLAY FUCK FUCK GAMES?!" then suddenly rushed inside all embarrassed.

This will happen soon in my current campaign, I'm LN with (long story, DM's fault), some sort of greater demon stuck in a (fucking fragile) jewel and bound to obey 1, and only 1, order I give it when I break the jewel. After that it, as it was being bound, it said it will kill the shit out of me. (Grammar that, nazis).


Said to BBEG at the final confrontation:
"Yeah... you've got the <mcguffin>."
"Yeah.... you've got an army behind you."
"Yeah..... you've got magical power that could blow into little itty bitty pieces in an instant."
***Pulls out jewel and lets it drop to the stone floor***
"But you know what?"
"I've got balls the size of grapefruit, motherfucker."
***crash***
"Kill him."

>>4457743

Actually, I think the comedy goldmine is that lines like "Did your mommy make it for you" are entirely relative to culture, and thus stupid insults.

Like stupid matriarchal societies are best when used to point out that patriarchy is just as stupid.

Anyway.

"Once I'm done with you, I think I'll comfort your poor father. Does he have a big dick?"

>>4457782
Goddamn it
blow ME into itty bitty pieces....
goddamn it

Can you imagine an alternate universe with a drow-female dominated 4chan?

"-2 Dex, Int, and Cha lol"

The BBEG to himself:

"And then *Group Leader's name* said 'lets divy up the loot', wahahahahahahaha.

Oh, is that them? Yeah, you go ahead and attack *town name*, they're not there to defend it any more. I'll hop on over on the carpet teleporter after I'm done with them."

Incidentally, this is why Sense Motive is absolutely fucking necessary even in dungeon crawls when the BBEG is level 1. He wasn't even talking to anyone, there were just like seventeen traps on the carpet.

We all agreed our DM was an asshole. But he was a clever asshole, and we all laughed before getting our do-over.

My character to the BBEG, campaign conclusion.

"You don't get it, do you? All your convoluted bullshit about gods and justice and the cosmic order DOESN'T MATTER RIGHT NOW! As of now I am your god, and I say BURN!"

Then I throw him into a fire pit.

>>4457865

dude, I wanna do that now.

To quote someone I used to game with on occasion, "Look, I know we vote to be awesome about fifty percent of the time, but I know *I'm* awesome a hundred percent of the time."

this video is related

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1823502

Something I WILL do if the DM is ever stupid enough to give me a chance at it: when the BBEG is in the middle of his blah blah blah I will so smack him in the face with the most powerful spell I have around and then proceed to shriek "STOP MAKING NOISES".

Fortunately he was yet to be cliché enough.

>>4458127

You've been waiting ages and that is the best thing you can think of? Christ.

Gold is for the mistress -- silver for the maid --
Copper for the craftsman cunning at his trade."
"Good!" said the Baron, sitting in his hall,
"But Iron -- Cold Iron -- is master of them all."

*As an evil leader who reveals the earth elementals the paladins just killed were polymorphed angels*

"Rocks die, everyone falls."

PIXIE DUST FOR THE PIXIE QUEN

>>4459102
Quen?

>>4459108
YES, THAT'S HOW WE WIN INITIATIVE

>>4459113
By making your opponent facepalm at your silly accent? In that case, French should get a permanent +2 on Initiative.

"My god is an orbital laser."

In reference to Flamestrike.

>>4459133

WHATEVER GIVES US ENOUGH TIME TO FLY INSIDE THEIR ARMOR AND TEAR OFF THEIR NIPPLES

Any more?

"All your base are belong to us now"

>>4458378

"LET THE SLAUGHTER BEGIN!"

It's time to put you out in the cooler!

Thread is full of wangst and faggots being overdramatic because they think they look cool, but are in fact just being wangsty faggots who play too much WoW.

Exception made to the wonderful Swarzenneger-esque puns.

>>4458362
It's not as much about what I'd say and more about how I hate that trope.

After destroying a air transport, kicking someone from a helicopter, or other related aerial shennigans:

"Hope you were expecting some turbulence, moterfucker."

Kick someone from a vehicle:

Looks like this is your stop.

THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT

"I'm going to pull your head off.” “Oh no, please don't pull my head off.” “I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head.”

When all you have is a hammer...
Steal a gun.

>>4461112
I don't think that most of them think they are cool. I think that they're just having fun.

>wonderful Schwarzenegger-esque puns

Yes...yes they were.

"When at first you don't succeed, you need a bigger gun"