After much gathering of info and searching, you believe the Box of Shadows to be very close by. You have a hunch.

Aw fuck yeah Dorf Quest, even if it is Garrelf's turn/

Box of Shadows, eh? I'm just going to go ahead and assume Shadowmancy won't do a damn thing to it. Get waifu to do it.

Open the door.
Also fuck, Djinn's back.

Is the Djinn challenging SATAN? This does not bode well. I'm not sure for who, but it generally does not bode well.

Is Xom fencing with Yog?

>>4513100
>Open the door
>>4513099
>Make waifu do it
That seemed to work well.

Open door.
Prepare yourself for the the totally unexpected thing behind it.

Have we copulated yet? I think it's time do that.

>>4513127
Tell her not everything has to be done with magic.

Check inside, be prepared for Solid Snake inside the box.

So... if the Lamp of Light killed Sunbeard then the Box of Shadows must kill that faggy Elf Moon, right? Awesome. Let's crack open that bitch.

>>4513135
You mean... ever or today? Because if today, maybe not but if ever... Hoooo-boy.

>>4513127
Get ready to suck the power out of the box- it's technically "destroyed" and your shadowmancy will get a boost.

Well that might have been a little overboard. Make Arialla light up the room now.

>>4513149
I had not thought of this. BLOW UP EVERYTHING.

Not to disrupt this thread, but am I correct in guessing we handled the nude vampire situation poorly? Or was she truly an enemy?

>>4513153
Today. Garrelf feeds on the sexual energy.

Seriously, find that box and crack it open. Lap up the dark energies inside, and then fuck your wife.

>>4513163
Depends. Technically it was her house and she was taking a really long nap when a Dorf dragged her out of bed, fully naked, but... well the bitch tried to kill us. Our actions were justified, and we could not prevent what had happened.

>>4513184
Does it matter? It's Beardbeard. We can kill stuff just because we feel like it.

>>4513163

She's dead now, so we handled it perfectly.

>>4513163
It went downhill when someone suggested she was a vampire.

>>4513184
We probably could have prevented it, we just decided not to. Or we just did it wrong.

>>4513121
Not only that, he's winning too.

This particular adventure looks like it might be annoying. Not only does this room have a horribly skewed and arbitrarily nearby horizon, but there are many many stacks of boxes in here.

Go read that sign thing.

>>4513203
Open a box in random.

>>4513203
Boxes can be blown apart and burnt. Waifu, do your stuff. Preferably when we're at a distance.

>>4513187

Witch means most likely we will be raising her soon.

>>4513203

>And all the other boxes are full of deadly, deadly bees.

ftfy

>>4513211
It looks like every single stack of boxes has a sign.

GO GARELF KILL BEARBEARD! MAKE HIM REGRET ALL HIS ACTIONS HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

>>4513203
Well, it seems obvious that we should just burn this building down. After all, we have to destroy the box, right? Why not all the other boxes too?

>>4513230
Now why would you want to kill Beardbeard?

>>4513226
OPEN BOXES

FIND THE ARK

>>4513226
Take one of any box that's particularly awesome.

Open up a box of hiding, see if anything is being kept in it, or if it's extra dimensional or some shit,

And then check other signs.

>>4513249
Awesome is somewhat subjective.

>>4513261
Is it time for sex?

Just open one of them, dammit!

>>4513261
man...

I don't even know WHAT would be in that box.

Ignore that one- find some that involve... I don't know what. Things that are not potentially horrific, I suppose.

>>4513244
Beardbeard is beyond saving and you should know this.

Come onnnnnn... blow it all up. You know you want to.

>>4513261
What are those? handles? grab one.

>>4513280
Take a box of BEES, you can use it later.

>>4513282
Beardbeard is also awesome, so all of his killing people and shit can be ignored.

>>4513282
Would you dare leave Sunson without a dad? Would you? Who's the REAL merciless psychopathic dorf tyrant here?

>>4513303
Before Garelf and Aldwin want to kill him. Aldwin does not know it yet....

>>4513295
There are no boxes of bees, silly.

Ohwait, no, nevermind, here they are.

>>4513293
They appear to be stirrups, akin to those found on a horse's saddle. You know, the things you stick your feet inside of.

>>4513306
SCREW YOU DORFS! AND ALL OF YOUR STUNTED KIND!

>>4513317
Take one of those then.

>>4513317
Oooh open box of bees.

>>4513314
Nah, Aldwin's the forgiving type. Sure we destroyed a lot of his home town. But it was for Xom, and he wouldn't dare get us for that. And yeah we slept with his girl... but it's just as much her fault. Plus we're worshipers of Xom, what did he expect?

>>4513325
Piss off you damn dirty elf!

What race is Garrelf's wife? I only recently joined in these threads, so I don't know anything about it.

>>4513325
My friend you want to say that to the Godslayer? Yeah, go to your forest pointy ears. Before he cuts it down, burns the remains and then leaves an abomination of Xom in it's place.

>>4513352
She's an Elf.

>>4513352
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Dorf_Quest#Queen_Arialla

She's an Elf.

>>4513368
Which kind? Gray? High? Deep? She looks kind of short and has an affinity for magic, so I would guess a deep elf

>>4513342
>>4513359
Just you watch! Garrelf is going to punch a fucking hole through the dorfs head and use it for fucking flower arranging ! FUCKING FLOWER ARRANGING!

>>4513317
Shit, beekeeper-voice here.

DO NOT TAKE A BEE BOX. beehives are arranged in stacks of "boxes"- removing one of them will release ALL the bees.

>>4513249
Arialla takes a box of Riding.

>>4513295
Garrelf takes a box of BEEEEEEES.

>>4513380
She's an Elf elf. And that is that. Also: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Dorf%20Quest

>>4513389
Beardbeard already killed Garrelf and brought him back to life, so he can just kill him again. And probably bring him back to life again.

>>4513400
Now where did Garrelf get that fancy eye scar?

>>4513416
Probably off-screen.

>>4513400
Well explore. Look for anything thats odd.

>>4513400
Looking kind of sad there, Garrelf. Care to give us an insight on your thoughts?

Fuse the BEEEEES with your satan arm for later torturing.

>>4513393
Well at least one person saw this coming.

>>4513431

I hope it's something like "My parents were killed by a box full of beeeeeees"

>>4513447
Eh, just ignore the BEES and run your stupid ass in the other direction.

>>4513447
Destroy them with your shadar kai magic! quickly!

>>4513447
Shit. Grab Quenie, leg it, set everything on fire. I do know this will cause FIRE BEES but hopefully we can outrun them. GOGOGOGO!

>>4513462
Actually this is a good idea. The smoke would put the bees to sleep.

hmm, hrmm, yeah lets get out of here.

whatsthat?

Find box of SMOKE.

Use on BEEEES.

Then find Box of SMOKES, and smoke.

>>4513475
Go hide in one of those boxes of hiding, that seems like a good place to hide.

>>4513478
'TIS THE SHADOWY BOX, BENDING THE UNIVERSE AROUND IT

GRAB IT

>>4513475
Queenie, Run, Fire. Makes bees fall asleep and destroys box. Plus you can pose dramatically in front of the fire.

Merge satan arm with BEEEEES.

>>4513500
The queen begins setting everything alight with lightning.

>>4513489
You being teleporting into a Box of Hiding.

>>4513518
This is a box. In a storage of boxes. That we are setting on fire. DOES NOBODY SEE THE FLAW IN THIS PLAN?

>>4513523
Yes. This box has a slit in it. It's not going to do a very good job of keeping the BEES out.

>>4513523
It's an ancient artifact box. I'm pretty sure it won't be destroyed from that.

So Gnome, does this universe have Shades, Bogeymen, or other creatures that are made out of shadow or rely heavily upon them in survival? What will happen to then when Box of Shadows is destroyed?

>>4513528
It is agreed, then, that this is WORST PLAN EVER. I propose we get the fuck out of the box, and hell, even the building.

>>4513518
CALL SATAN ON YOUR CODEX!

>>4513551
>CALL SATAN ON YOUR CODEC!

This

>>4513540
>Get out of the building

Arialla seems to have this under control. You gtfo.

>>4513551
>>4513556
While waiting for Arialla to get the job done, you call up Satan.

Hmm, he seems busy.

>>4513598
In before Djinn pops up there.
Also just wait around outside until the sound of shit blowing up dies down.

>>4513598
Hide in the box and call Arialla on your codec.

WE'RE DOING THIS EVENTUALLY.

Teleport a box of hiding outside with you and wait inside it until Arialla is done.

Can Garrelf banish people to the Abyss with shadowmancing? If so, find Beardbeard and banish him to the Abyss so he can fight demons and shit until he inevitably finds an exit.

>>4513604
You admire the talons of your Satan arm while you wait.

>>4513646
He very clearly has the powers of a Chaos Knight of Lugonu. Even if he isn't a god in this setting, I'm pretty sure Garrelf can banish people.

Lets think about how much we hate beardbeard.

>>4513534
>
So Gnome, does this universe have Shades, Bogeymen, or other creatures that are made out of shadow or rely heavily upon them in survival? What will happen to then when Box of Shadows is destroyed?

Yeah, what will happen to Garrelf's shadow powers?

>>4513654
Arialla is hurting!

>>4513658
He seems more like a high level warper to me.

>>4513654
Huh, looks like Queenies in pain. Check on her to make sure she isn't dead or anything like that.

>>4513663
Satan would probably keep the shadow stuff or make minimal changes to them.

>>4513686
Make a portal to a bazaar so you can buy a potion of healing and maybe some spell books to make up for this.

>>4513686
Well, she's fine. The fire should burn the box of shadows eventualy.

>>4513675

Yeah, best check on her. Don't want anything to our royal sex to--erm, Arialla.

Say the her wounds are turning you on.

>>4513686
Tell her she looks fat.

>>4513686

Hm....abit swollen, but nothing the local cleric can't fix. And that attitude we'll alleviate in bed. For now, acknowledge she did well. That outta keep her from bitching too much.

>>4513686
beekeeper again.

Scratch the stingers off before they inject too much poison, or you'll swell up

>>4513702
>>4513731
2000 gold, some compliments, and 3 spellbooks' worth of apologizing later, and she is mildly less pissed at you. Somewhere in there you got her healed as well.

>>4513742
Fire should have died down in that time, go back and check. If it has, go look for the box of shadows again.

>>4513749
Find Beardbeard with a locating spell and teleport there.

>>4513749
What can she do with her riding box?

Hey guys, beekeeper here again.

Can we please, please find the reformed satan-shadow box when the fire dies down and fill it with the contents of the BEE box?

I would love elemental shadow bees.

>>4513760
Aldwin & Co are there with him. Yeah, not a good idea to pick up a fight now. Besides we need an army for climactic ARMY VS ARMY, DORF VS ELF fight.

>>4513761
Ride on it? That's what she did when she first got it.

>>4513749
The roaring fire should have died down by now. Go back and look around for anything that isn't ashes.

>>4513774
What if we just banish them to the abyss and let them fight their way out of it? It will leave them something interesting to do.

>>4513780
>>4513767
>>4513754
You check the smoldering wreckage of the building. It seems to have attracted the locals.

>>4513790
Yeah... well the thing about that is then they have a certain places as the "good" guys. And will kick our asses. Because with Beardbeard VS Garrelf both are dicks and both were justified. Garrelf's waifu abandoned Beardbeard, Beardbeard beat the crap out of Garrelf and Waifu. Beardbeard is the BBEG from the point of view of Garrelf. Anyway it's not climactic enough. An army is what we need to build.

>>4513805
Buildings gone. Box probably also gone, but sift through the ashes just in case.

>>4513809
Garelf is the Dorf Quest equivalent of Sephiroth. We don't need an army.

>>4513821
Did Garrelf kill a god AND the sun? I think not, so Garrelf needs an army anyways.

>>4513805
Are those nagas? ...or technically lamias? Do we know them to be especially un/friendly?

>>4513821
Well the fact that Beardbeard ripped our arm off and BEAT us with it kinda shows we do. Besides he has an army. Because despite how badass Garrelf is, Beardbeard is on the same level if not higher. He's the Godslayer and we need a REALLY good ace in the hole to beat him, and we need at least an army to be on level footing. And I'm only planning this since it's Garrelf's turn. Personally, I'm cheering on Beardbeard.

>>4513831
He killed the sun at least.

...also, doesn't Beardbeard technically have a god working for him? Wasn't that a shocking revelation of the last thread?

>>4513839
That reminds me, wait for night and see if Elf Moon is gone.

The key to the defeat of beardbeard is the dorfen weakness to the forces of the wild- monkeys, elephants, and bees. Begin construction of mutant legions!

When Beardbeard and Garrelf fight... Whoever loses, we win. They're both pretty nasty assholes.

I'm rooting for neither of them. Main characters or not, awesome motherfuckers or not, I'm going to cheer when one of them meets his end.

>>4513856
You forgot the carp.

>>4513849
Fate can only revive him once. Not really working FOR, just manipulating. Hell I bet every character is being manipulated by Fate. I still say we should fight and kill him.

>>4513819
You approach to go sift through some ashes. A naga stops you, telling you that none may set foot on their sacred storage building. They say they will crucify whoever committed this heresy.

>>4513869
Tell her it was probably her.

Ask if she specifically remembers NOT doing it.

>>4513869
Kick her ass.
In fact, kick all their asses to assert dominance. Our new army will be nagas.

>>4513869
Say it was a Dorf with a beard. The Godslayer, if his appearance is true to the legend. Also ask if the Box of Shadows is destroyed, as a practitioner of Shadowmancy it is important to you.

Man I feel bad framing my favorite character. Oh well.

>>4513869
Make sure Arialla doesn't look like someone who burned said sacred storage building.

That box of bees is the perfect distraction to allow us to sift. BEE THEM!

Ask the Naga about her people. Possibly even for her to dance the dance of her people. We may be discovering a new land for the map here.

If they go hostile, tell Arialla to go lich form. Naga venom magic is strong enough to poison anything living, no matter how resistant.

>>4513873
>>4513882
>>4513899
That's a guy.

>>4513924
HOLY SHIT.

>>4513924
...Woops.

This particular naga is a boy - not pink. ANYWAY.

>>4513882
>Our new army will be nagas
You and Arialla promptly defeat the three nagas here, and Garrelf begins his delicious torture regime.

>>4513882
...they are nagas. They don't have asses we can kick.

Also, lie through our teeth about burning down the building. Say we were walking past earlier, saw someone dart in, we chased after, then fire. We left something behind in the scuffle, and we need it back.

>>4513916

>lich form

Wat?

>>4513947
Is this going to involve licking them? You don't know where they've been, ya know.

>>4513947
Interrogate how large Naga community is, history of their people and about their current ruler.

>>4513883
What kind of dorf wouldn't have a beard?

>>4513996
Yeah I'm tired at the moment.

>>4513965
This one seems rather talkative.

>how large Naga community is
"Approxsssimately 600, pleasssse don't hit me anymore..."

>history of their people
Garrelf feels this would be a waste of time to ask about.

>about their current ruler.
"Hissss name isss Teflnok, and he isss a high priessst of Possseidon... oh gods, leave me alone..."

>>4514013
Assert authority over king. Maybe sift the ashes first, and fill the satanshadowbox with bees- or destroy it, if that didn't happen yet.

>>4514013
Beat the living crap out of this Teflnok. Assert superiority over nagas. Have an army.

>>4514010
Possiedon, eh? Sea faring race then I assume. Possibly their ruler might have an annoying teleportation ability that will make fighting him difficult. Ask him on if there's any fight for becoming high priest automatically... guess Garrelf's going to worship Posiedon. Also take us to temple/palace where he resides.

>>4514020
>>4514022
You head to the Naga city, Ives, to take out this Teflnok fellow. Your new pet leads the way.

>>4514024
Garrelf has a teleport too, so that wouldn't be much of a problem.

Arialla is lazy today, riding around on that fucking box...

>>4514044
We must name him! Let us call him Jeeves. He shall be our personal slave forever!

Are we there yet?

>>4514044
EASY RIDAN!

Jeeves shows you to Teflnok's temple (dedicated to Poseidon, of course) quickly. You attract many stares from the locals - many angry stares - but no one does anything to you.

Teflnok also seems unhappy to see you. "Ssstate your busssinessss, Outlander."

>>4514081
Keep asking this. Bug the shit out of him. Punch him each time he expresses his annoyance.

>>4514089
Answer him with your fist.

>>4514089
"I'm taking over. Surrender or die."

>>4514089
I am here to be the true leader to the ways of gloriful Posiedon! Step down, or be slaughtered for I have came to help my fellow worshipers into the true ways of Her teachings.

Alternatively...
I'm here to create Ouroboros and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.

>>4514089
"We are on a mission of power and revenge. Our path is clear, and you might be standing in the way."

>>4514097
>>4514104
"This city is mine, bitch."

>>4514137
He looks unfazed. Watch out for any tricky wizard fuckery.

Ah. So we're going for the head first into the fight way, are we? Well kill him fast before he can pull some divine shit. Knife through the eye.

"I'm taking over. Surrender, or be submitted to torture that will have you begging for Death's sweet merciful embrace."

Proceed to make Revolver Ocelot's method of torture seem like getting Wet Willy, should he resist.

We could use a high priest of poseidon..we could just break his arms or something.

then again he'd probably stab us in the back first chance he got.

>>4514137
How can we still do Shadow Magic? Has Satan replaced the Shadow Box already?

keep using YOUR MIGHTY BROFISTS ON HIM!

>>4514149
better yet. Lets give him wet willies every time he resists.

>>4514146
>kill him fast
He starts some sort of water spell. You close the distance rapidly.

>>4514175

Pimp slap his ass with your Devil Arm, or something to that effect.

Have we even CONFIRMED that the shadow box has been destroyed? And that it would effect our abilities?

Go low, slide around behind him and go for a suplex!

>>4514175
Through the eye! Through the eye!

>>4514175
Shadow teleport right behind him and have him die somehow.

His attack seems to be faster.

>>4514205
Oh, here comes the queen. Good thing electric beats water. Get up and keep wailing on the guy anyways.

Warp space painfully around him.

>>4514205
well if we can take things that are connected to us when we teleport( I dont actually know if we can) Use self and spell as a projectile and teleport behind him!

>>4514205
Have Arialla heal you.

>>4514205
Teleport behind him and snap his neck.

>>4514205

Okay, fuck this shit. Cheat. Have your loli elf waifu throw a fist full'o lightin' at his back, toss dirt in his eyes, hell; throw in the kitchen sink. Anything goes.

>>4514205
Yay, go queenie! Blast his lack of ass! ...but only once we are clear from the water blast!

You seem to be trapped inside a sphere of water.

>if we can take things that are connected to us when we teleport
That is about how it works, yes, making escaping something like this a difficult prospect.

Arialla's attack misses.

Arialla is going to hurl orb lighting with use covered in water.

>>4514246
Attempt using shadow magic to get out of orb of water.

>>4514246
This sounds like Naruto.

How did Kakashi get through this again?

>>4514246

Aw, dammit. Try teleporting onto the fucker's head, and hold on. See which one of you can hold your breath longer.

>>4514246
Try to banish him to the abyss.

>>4514246
Try slicing the orb of water in half, escaping it dramatically. Failing that, use the satan arm.... somehow.

>>4514265

You know, I was just thinking that. If I recall, Naruto and Sasuke provided enough of a distraction that Zabuza lost concentration to hold the bubble, allowing Kakashi to get out.

But seeing as we're lacking an annoying energetic fox boy and an emo boy, we're going to have to come up with something else.

>>4514265
IIRC, Kakashi's prison required constant contact to keep up, and the kids used a two pronged attack that forced him to break contact in order to dodge.

>>4514266
For some reason, it doesn't sound like a very good idea to have a breath holding contest with a naga.

>>4514255
>>4514266
>Teleport to Teflnok
This seems to have worked.

>>4514294
I'm pretty sure he can hold breath longer than us.

buzzap.

>>4514294
While you're there, you might as well start punching him some more.

>>4514294
Teleport to the sun.

>>4514305
Shoulda seen that coming.

>>4514303

Shadar-Kai don't have to breath, right?

Or do I fail my Shadar-Kai lore roll?

>>4514305
...that looks like it hurt. Punch him in the face until the spell is broken, then punch him 3 times more.

EXACTLY 3.

>>4514305
Man. we really should have thought of a way to make us immune to her magic. After this we should make her do something to that affect.

I think we need the limitations of this teleportation spelled out.

>>4514305

...Bitch, that had BETTER make us fucking even for that bee thing, or you are going to be in for some hate sex tonight.

Well, that seems to have gotten you out of the water bubble. Both of you are in a bit of pain, but neither of you are unconscious just yet.

>>4514355
WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY WOMAN?!

Try to recover before your foe. Beat the living shit out of him.

>>4514355
Oh look hes laying on top of you; hit him.
Arialla looks so smug right now.

Oh wait, no. No. You're both definitely unconscious.

>>4514355
Well NOW stab him. Slit his throat. Just end it now and end it fast. If you don't have a way to do any of the above... strangle him with his own tail.

Yup. This is surely what unconsciousness looks like.

>>4514370
What. Oh when we wake up there is going to be VERY VIOLENT SEX. Daaamn, woman. No wonder Beardbeard tore your throat.

>>4514370
You bitch. Kick the naga's ass anyways. Do it subconsciously or some shit, I just want to see an ass with a boot in it.

>>4514370
Become not unconscious and get up.

>>4514355
Take naga necklace thing.

>>4514370

Arialla: Proceed to raep them while they're unconcious, and/or proclaim yourself ruler of the nagas, seeing as you pretty much kicked his ass. Also, arrange your husband and the king in a perverse way.

Teleport to consciousness!

New thread: >>4514421

What in the hell is going on here.
Between Beardbeard and Garelf Beardbeard is the lesser of the two evils.