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  • File :1242417263.jpg-(101 KB, 600x450, feeders.jpg)
    101 KB Future Archived Thread Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)15:54 No.4559501  
    ITT: Explain the Warhammer 40K universe to a total noob in as much or little detail as you want.

    Total sum of my knowledge: The Emperor is a pretty cool guy.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)15:57 No.4559513
    There are humans and aliens and nasty humans

    They all want to kill eachother alot

    They have been doing so constantly for over 10,000 years now.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)15:57 No.4559514
    Actually, the Emperor is a dick. His obsession with Horus being the perfect son screwed things up pretty badly.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)15:57 No.4559518
    Necrons: You saw Terminator, right?

    Tyranids: You saw Alien, right?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)15:58 No.4559523

    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)15:59 No.4559525
    Orks: Orcs
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)15:59 No.4559527
    interstellar war between
    Xenophobic Human supremacists
    Dark Elves
    Demon Worshipers
    and Giant Insects
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)15:59 No.4559529
    In the grim nightmare of the far future, there is only GW price rises
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)16:04 No.4559554
    Eldar: You saw Starcraft, right?

    Tau: You saw Gundam, right?

    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)16:08 No.4559581
    Mix Old metal, ideas of a twelve year old, blood, goth kids, child humor, rock cd covers after reading tolkien.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)16:16 No.4559641
    Grim Dark Wank Material
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)16:20 No.4559677
    If Starcraft Was Emo.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)16:20 No.4559682
    Imagine a bunch of genetically enhanced superhuman militant religious fanatics clad in an advanced armor enhancing their physical attributes and holding guns which shoot miniature rockets dropping inside a metal can from an enormous space catedral warship in orbit of a world, which entire biomass is being slowly consumed by a living spaceship belonging to a hyperaggresive race of hiveminded critters, right in the middle of an army of greenskinned bestial hooligans armed with rocket launchers and axes already busy rolling over a bunch of pointy eared high-tech survivors of a fallen ancient alien empire who were on a mission to destroy a buried force of omnicidal robots, only to fail because of the machination of dark gods of Chaos, who managed to warp the entire human population of the planet, which in orgies and bloodbaths summoned daemons - powerful denizens of the Immaterium, or Warp, to FUCK SHIT UP.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)16:21 No.4559692

    Orks: Orcs FRUM LUNDAN
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)16:33 No.4559800
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)20:29 No.4561694
    (1). A stupid joke taken seriously.

    (2). (Not very) repressed homosexuality.

    (3). A plot thinner than that of the average console fighting game.
    >> Bacon Golem 05/15/09(Fri)20:32 No.4561718

    >2. (not very) Repressed homosexuality.

    You know, actually, this reminds me.

    What is the Imperium's stance on the homogay? Heresy? Seen as Slaaneshi? Or is it a "don't ask don't tell" sort of thing?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)20:59 No.4561924
    SPESS MAHREENS and SoBs are pretty homogay for each other. Everyone else needs to make more babies FOR THE EMPRAH. 400 BABIES!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:01 No.4561929
    orks: you saw warcraft right?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:08 No.4561977
    Basically, it's Dark Ages IN SPACE.

    Church controls everything with an iron fist, the Inquisition shoots heretics and witches left and right, social order is crumbling, unquestioning faith in, and divine worship of, THE EMPRAH (who happens to have been comatose for the last 10 000 years, but the common man obviously doesn't know this) is mandatory. This culminates in a humongous, oppressive, religion-fueled imperium stretching across the galaxy.

    And that's the good guys.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:09 No.4561982
    Someone post that Penny Arcade comic
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:11 No.4561994
    Wait, how are they the good guys? The sound like awesome villains.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:12 No.4562001
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:13 No.4562007
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    I don't think they really care as long as it's not directly harming the production of new meatshields for the Emprah.

    Pic related.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:14 No.4562013
    >how are they the good guys?

    By comparison.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:15 No.4562021
    Then I shudder to consider the other races.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:21 No.4562071

    That's the point. It's not black vs. white morality. It's black vs. black. They're considered "The Good Guys" because everything else is simply WORSE.

    There's Chaos. Eldrich horrors from beyond reality, dark gods and monsters that would give Cthulhu nightmares, commanding demonic armies and twisted caricatures of the human form(Usually deserters from the Imperium given new "powers").

    There's the Eldar. Decientful and vile elves in space, organized in a strict militaristic society, each and every one with psychic potential. The most powerful of them are able to tell the outcome of battles were the combatants haven't even been born yet.


    And the list goes on and on
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:24 No.4562096
    It used to be even more "shades of grey" but the Necrons had to come in and fuck up that balance.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:24 No.4562099
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    Also, nothing is "TOO BIG"
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:25 No.4562106
    For reference:

    Chaos: The embodiment of the repressed feelings and destructive impulses of all humans. Omnicidal maniacs.

    Orks: Commit genocide for fun. Omnicidal maniacs.

    Eldar: Almost extinct and pissed about it. Hate all non-eldar. Omnicidal maniacs.

    Dark Eldar: Fly rape-powered spaceships. Omnicidal maniacs.

    Tyrannids: Want to eat the galaxy. Omnicidal maniacs.

    Necrons: Undead robots. Don't ask. Omnicidal maniacs for some stupid reason.

    Tau: They are weeaboo, and this is the worst crime of all.

    When everyone wants to kill everyone else, it's hard not to join in.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:26 No.4562113
    Necron just want to quiet down all the ruckus so they can get back to sleep.

    It's tragic, I know ;_;
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:27 No.4562120

    Penny Arcade described the Necrons best in that comic posted earlier.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:29 No.4562136
    > tau= gundam
    >eldar= protoss

    someone hasn't seen gundam nor the tau. else he'll know tau= battletech, eldar = zentraedi.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:30 No.4562138
    A super-evolved Virus that wants to eat the Galaxy.
    A race of robots whom found immortality isn't what they expected and now havest souls for their Star-Vampire gods.
    A race that consists of the collective emotion of sentient beings, who ALSO want to eat your soul.
    A race of psychic Magnificent Bastards trying of pull off a Xanatos Gambit with the entire universe, whose previous empire became so debauched they spawned a GOD of getting your rocks off.
    The Magnificent Bastard's cousins whom still are debauched.
    Caste based National Socialist convince that they can make the galaxy a better place if the other races would only see reason. The leaders of which may or may not control the other castes via pheromonal brainwashing. And DO control the other castes via propaganda campaigns that make the IoM look liberal.
    A genetically engineered Warrior Race, whom is incapable of anything other than fighting, reproduces via fungal spores, is resilient enough to survive HEAD TRANSPLANTS without anesthesia, uses their slave-race to clear minefields by sending more of them though it. And their shtick is that they are THE COMIC RELIEF.

    Yeah, the other races suck.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:31 No.4562147
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    Wow, is that really their motivation? God damn. They're even stupider than I thought.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:31 No.4562151
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    Why with all the fighting?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:32 No.4562155
    >Orks: Chavs IN SPHESS
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:33 No.4562168
    Humans: "Glory to the holy imperium of mankind. All hail the God-Emperor. Destroy the filthy xeno forces. Suffer not the heretic to live."

    Eldar: "We are superior and therefore have every right to kill every last one of you on the slightest whim."

    Dark Eldar: "Hmm... what can I rape, brutally torture, rape, murder, and then rape again today?"

    Orks: "We like fighting, yes we do. We like fighting, how 'bout you?"

    Necrons: Magic zombie robots from space-egypt.

    Tyranids: "Omnomnom"

    Tau: Space communists. "For the Greater Good"

    Nurgle: "I love you guys. Here, have some small pox."

    Slaanesh: "Everything that moves is something for me to rape. Everything else is something for me to snort or inject."

    Tzeentch: "Just as planned."

    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:34 No.4562173
    Who are the greasy, floating, armored brains?

    The closest thing to that is a Dreadnought, but obviously, they do not float.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:34 No.4562177
    Actually they want to harvest all living things to sate the appetites of their soul-eating star gods, but whatever.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:34 No.4562180
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    Chaos, ultimate freedom of expression.

    Orks ultimate living in the moment optimists

    Eldar, ultimate in long term nurturing and appreciation of esthetics

    Dark Eldar, well you got me there, I guess rape could be a beautifull thing too?

    Tyranids, Natural instincts can't really be considered evil.

    Tau, uplifted by Eldar they in turn try to advance other races (even if the other races aren't quite as "equal" as the Socialist-dictatorial Tau.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:34 No.4562187

    Tyranids? i dunno
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:35 No.4562189
    zoanthropes, chitin is still armour.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:35 No.4562191
    >Eldar: Almost extinct and pissed about it. Hate all non-eldar. Omnicidal maniacs.
    You don't know shit, faggot. They certainly aren't GOODY GOODY guys, but they're not Omnicidal maniacs. Everything they do is meticulously calculated in advance and done for a fucking good reason. If that means that they have to blow up a world of humans, it's not because they're Omnicidal but because the consequences of that action saves more lives. And yes, they favor eldar lives over any other, but seeing as they're near extinct and this is fucking GRIMDARK, that's hardly a big crime.

    >Tau: They are weeaboo, and this is the worst crime of all.
    You're just pulling shit because you got nothing. Still not GOODY GOODY guys, but they're the closest thing in 40K by a fucking giganourmous longshot.
    They do things for the Greater Good, and most of them do it honestly, also believing in that cause. Sure they kill whole planets too, but only before they give them a choice of join the Greater Good or perish as you should. No other force shows any compassion or even consideration that comes close to this, they just choose option 2.

    tl;dr: You're a stupid faggot.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:37 No.4562209
    There's a god of anally raping LSD-covered midgets.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:38 No.4562217
    They'll have to get in line.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:38 No.4562220
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    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:40 No.4562231
    Witness a faggot trying to justify his favorite armies as the good guys.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:41 No.4562241

    >>A race that consists of the collective emotion of sentient beings, who ALSO want to eat your soul.

    You gave THAT to Chaos and Tau manage to get three lines? You're terrible at making the game seem grimdark.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:42 No.4562250
    It's a tabletop game wherein super space nazis with rapid-fire rocket propelled grenade machineguns and chainsaw swords, communists with penlights and cardboard armour, tanks made from UNOBTAINIUM that run on goat piss and giant walking cathedrals fight endless armies of enormous blood-thirsty daemons made of walking piles of dicks and toerot, angry fungi who like to kill each other for fun, ancient space elves who shit crystals and are more weeaboo than everything ever combined, more space elves who love S&M and ride around in spiky spikes of spike with engines on them, a race of genetically engineered super-monsters with biological weaponry that EJACULATES RAVENOUS FLESH-EATING MAGGOTS AT YOU, guns that shoot hell at you, guns that shoot you INTO hell, laser beams that set you on fire and then send you to hell and more skulls and purity seals than you could count.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:42 No.4562252
    >Greater Good
    Are yes, the catch cry of Nazis, dictators, zealots, serial killers and assorted psychopaths the world over.

    Everything is always done for the fucking "Greater Good".
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:42 No.4562253
    Haha, I don't even play the fucking game, I just read the fluff sometimes.

    No, I'm just making some goddamn sense. Actually, instead of spouting shit, try to take any single sentence out of what I said and somehow prove it wrong.

    That's right, you can't. Now shut up and be a good retarded faggot.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:42 No.4562256
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    >they favor eldar lives over any other
    Like: Orchestrate the destruction of a planet populated by millions of humans to save a camp of 20 or so eldar who wanted to get "back to nature, man" on a nearby world.
    Totally reasonable. The plans have been available at your local planning office in the andromeda galaxy for weeks.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:43 No.4562261
    they're the lesser evil in all approach, size, importance, effectiveness and cool factor.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:44 No.4562282
    Yeah you're right. Too bad it doesn't actually mean anything. Just because some (or a lot? All? Doesn't matter) evil people justify themselves through "Greater Good", doesn't mean that anyone who refers to Greater Good is an evil guy.

    It's like saying we're all rapists and serial killers because rapists and serial killers all produce feces, and so do we.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:45 No.4562288
    exactly, they're their OWN good guys, just like everyone you cited.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:47 No.4562309
    Step 1: Buy IG 3 Punisher tanks
    Step 2: Buy minimal command and troops.
    Step 3: Play minimum point games.
    Step 4: ???
    Step 5: Profit!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:48 No.4562314

    I guess what we're trying to say is 'Warhammer 40k as a whole is so grimdark that any part of the game is probably grimdark'. That applies to Tau, and I think that's pretty reasonable.

    Besides, it's not real. It's all up to interpretation.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:48 No.4562315
    they're evil dude, everyone in every GW work is. the amazon cheerleaders in bloodbowl are evil, the space wales in BFG are evil, even the squats and umbra in the drawer of abandoned ideas plot against each other.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:50 No.4562338
    Every faction has a good side so you can feel good about fielding them.

    At the same time, every faction also has a dark side which gives easy fluff reason of why you are fighting against them.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:50 No.4562339
    The phrase "Greater Good" has some unfortunate implications.

    The only reason to fight for the "Greater" good is if you intend to fight against or at least abandon lesser goods.

    It's a way of soothing an aching conscience more than anything else.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:50 No.4562341

    They're just as black as any other race, just its a glossy, shiny black that looks less grim.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:52 No.4562363
    Warhammer is the bastard love child of Lemmy and Morrissey.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:54 No.4562370
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:54 No.4562374

    Listen to these men, they know what they're talking about.

    Which makes me think, ever notice that the people that play the not-so-obviously-bad-guy races, such as Tau, Eldar, or anything Imperial, totally consider their side the good guys?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:54 No.4562378
    Yeah, that's right. They did it to save some of their own kind. Compare that to any other faction except perhaps Tau, and they would do the same thing for fucking less. Either because it's in their nature, it's fucking fun or because of some fanatic religious retarded belief.

    Try actually spelling out that it's just as bad doing it to save some of your own people from a dying race compared to the above reasons. You will punch yourself from the sheer stupidity.

    I'm not saying Tau or Eldar are good guys as we see it, they do lots of horrible things. I'm saying they're the closest thing 40K has to good guys and they're the two goodest guys in the galaxy. It all goes south when you try to compare what they do to the norms of our society, which obviously doesn't work. Any truly good guys in 40K would have been extinct from day 1. So in the spectrum of 40K, they are, effectively, the good guys.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:55 No.4562386

    No. Nothing in 40k is even CLOSE to good guys. There simply is no such thing. End of story.

    bye bye.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:57 No.4562415
    There are no good side to chaos, neither is there to necrons, orks, tyranids and dark eldar.

    If you disagree, just don't say so, but actually show me these so called good sides.

    This should be interesting...
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:58 No.4562422
    the Imperium on Mankind is clearly the good guy. Because everyone else isn't human. And humans (The white kind) are always the good guys.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:58 No.4562423
    >Try actually spelling out that it's just as bad doing it to save some of your own people from a dying race compared to the above reasons. You will punch yourself from the sheer stupidity.

    >Human lives are objectively worth less than Eldar lives

    >Not just to Eldar, but to humans as well

    >You're stupid if you would fight for your own life against a cancer patient
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)21:59 No.4562441
    It's like Warhammer Fantasy Battles, but in the future.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:00 No.4562450
    Well, >>4562180 already had a good start.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:02 No.4562470
    >ITT: Explain the Warhammer 40K universe to a total noob in as much or little detail as you want.
    Rip off as much Tolkien, Moorcock, and 2000AD as you can without being sued, put it in space. Cover everything with skulls and cathedrals.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:02 No.4562471
    >humans (The white kind) are always the good guys.

    >Emperor is Turkish
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:03 No.4562482
    Chaos: Many good facets to each primary god, not to mention freedom to pursue your own goals instead of clinging to the Imperium. The brightest stars burn the shortest, though, and if you ditch the Imperium ENJOY YOUR DEATH.

    Dark Eldar: Keeping the cultural heritage of the Eldar. In S&M gear.

    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:04 No.4562495
    You are stupid or what? Everyone within this thread basically agrees that there are at least better or worse guys. And from that alone, if you, as I said, LOOK AT THE SPECTRUM OF 40K, and just forget all your own fucking values that can't apply in this universe. The guys who are the at the very extreme parts of the spectrum are, within the scope of 40K, the good guys and the bad guys.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:06 No.4562518
    By any other standards, the Tau would be a horrible totalitarian state, guilty of worse crimes than any the real world has ever seen. Compared to everyone else in 40K, they are precious Care Bears.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:06 No.4562519
    >There are no good side to chaos,
    Freedom, the extention of human capacity, creativity, free thought, self-determination in a universe where nobody else has any real control over their own fate. Chaos has achieved the endpoint of what it is possible for free souls to achieve, and there is no further spiritual advancement past them--which implies that there is no point to any spiritual existence other than theirs.

    > neither is there to necrons,
    Immortality, ultimate transhuman technology--the Necrons have achieved the endpoint of what it is possible for technology to achieve--which implies that there is no point to any technological existence other than theirs.

    lol trollface

    > tyranids
    It's just nature, man. Get over it.

    >and dark eldar.
    Which is why they will never get a new codex. Because they're boring.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:06 No.4562520
    40K? Well you see there was this race of benevolent six limbed centaurs, a tragic tale it is.

    Enslaved by discordian, solipsistic, violent aliens, they did what they could to resist, and some fled.

    These refugees found the Imperium of man, and told of their enslavement, asking for help.

    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:07 No.4562524
    So is jeebus basically.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:14 No.4562583
    wouldn't say that. Nor would I emphasise freedom so much when you are constantly petitioning fickle gods for another mutation and hoping they don't eat your face off for your patheticness
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:15 No.4562588
    Khorne doesn't actually have an honour side, that's just bullshit. Killing warriors before civilians is just because it's fucking more fun.

    There is nothing good about slaanesh at all ever in any way.

    Tzeentch only encourages intelligence and the such so his subjects can become better intstruments of death.

    And the whole Papa Nurgle thing is pretty over-played. Yes, he cares about his forces because he has invested some sort of time and effort in them. He only cares as long as they stay useful.

    And yeah Anarchy never was a good thing.

    Also: Dark Eldar: just no.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:18 No.4562609
    >Tzeentch only encourages intelligence and the such so his subjects can become better intstruments of death.

    Tzeentch doesn't give a fuck about death. At all.
    Tzeentch cares about birth, growth, destruction, and alteration. Death of itself is meaningless to him.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:18 No.4562614
    Or decide to replace most of your brain with another tentacle, which is about as likely as anything else.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:19 No.4562616
    In the bright spectacle of the far future, humanity and aliens find ways to coexist through democracy and understanding.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:21 No.4562640
    >And the whole Papa Nurgle thing is pretty over-played. Yes, he cares about his forces because he has invested some sort of time and effort in them. He only cares as long as they stay useful.

    Papa Nurgle is the god of sedentariness and DECAY.

    He only cares about his followers as long as they become USELESS.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:22 No.4562649
    Tau => Space Commies. Evolved from cows, have super long range guns. Are blue.
    Empire => Nobody knows how technology works anymore, and everybody worships a dead Emperor. These are the humans.
    Chaos => Follow the Chaos Gods, and as such, have demons and shit. Are ex-Imperial, primarily.
    Eldar => Elves in Space. The stuck up, snobby kind.
    Necrons => The scions of a dead race. Undead robots. Their god/leader is imprisoned/dead on mars.
    Orks => Some rough and tumble boyz who love a good tussle. Project a solipsistic field which causes their technology to work, as well as a few other things. Orcs in Space.
    Tyrannids => Consume all the biomass on a planet and use it to build new Tyranids. Come from a different Galaxy. Have a hivemind and do not communicate with other races. Similar to Zergs. Are crap at ranged.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:24 No.4562664
    >Anarchy never was a good thing
    none of the races portray anything other than a hyperbolized tyrant state. I always wonder why the Empire in both fantasy and 40k were written as so abhorent (to get a real moral clash I suppose) but this always seems to be an inference. There are such hyperbolic metaphors to religion, panopticism/government and similar things I wonder why they went to the trouble of makeing a mockey or exaggeration of things they see, but leaving out meaningful social commentary.

    'those rocks are not yours, citizen'
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:25 No.4562672
    Nurgle attracts trailer trash basically. As they laze in their space-recliners, eating junk food and never standing up even to go to the bathroom, they soon become covered in strange mould. Then, the room slowly turns a sickly green as objects melt with decay and the stench becomes unbearable. The lazy man slowly rots alive, but is kept happy by his utter slovenliness pushing it further. Eventually he is a big, fat zombie, and for the first time in decades he stands up from his fungus-covered recliner and assumes his duty as a follower of nurgle.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:25 No.4562675
    Someone decaying, rotting and suffering from innumerable diseases does not necessarily make one worthless, especially if you want to spread said diseases or if they make you a better warrior.

    SO yeah, useful to Nurgle.
    Not death in itself, sure, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want certain individuals dead or would rather see all the loyalists just die on the spot.
    Or if you're more happy that way, imagine I said instruments of destruction. It amounts to basically the same thing.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:25 No.4562676
    > Project a solipsistic field

    I do not think that word means what you think it means.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:26 No.4562681


    Only an amerifag could come up with this.

    'Communism' in Murrika is like 'mary-sue' here in /tg/: It stands for everything you don't like.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:27 No.4562690
    Since when does Tzeentch have a thing for destruction? Wouldn't that be Khorne and Nurgle?

    Tzeentch only likes destruction inasmuch as it begets change and something new.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:28 No.4562702
    No, in the fluff it's stated their economy is basically a command-economy based aroudn war production, and they fight for the greater good and all that.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:32 No.4562733
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    RED makez it go Fasta!
    BLOO iz Lucky.
    YELLA makez it Shootier.
    Moar shooty = more Dakka, which iz alwayz a good fing.
    GREEN iz best.

    Da effect of da rest of da Culla Spektrum on Orky Gubbins an Tek iz still up fer debate..
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:39 No.4562794
    Accurate depiction or Orks.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:47 No.4562868
    >>4559501 Explain the Warhammer 40K universe to a total noob in as much or little detail as you want.

    Firm fools faggots into buying new figures with each supplement released.

    It's basically Magic: The Gathering with figures instead of cards.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)22:56 No.4562943

    nurgle attracts people who are fucking scared by the fact that they have to die one day and there is nothing they can do about it. desparation is what he feeds on.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:01 No.4562976
    Why are there no rainbow orks?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:02 No.4562979
    Ya fergot purple. It'z fer sneaky gitz.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:03 No.4562987
    Which 'uns Gork's fav'rite? N' Mork?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:05 No.4563003
    But green is still best!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:06 No.4563006
    entire planetary sistems of orks have been lost to such discussions
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:12 No.4563057
    >Explain the Warhammer 40K universe
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:21 No.4563125
    this was the ONLY acceptable answer.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:27 No.4563174
    I think it means that belief begets reality. What do you think it means?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:28 No.4563177
    From a common citizen point of view, the best places to live would be on one of the "good" imperial planets (in a system governed by a marine chapter would probably be the best) on an eldar craftworld or planet that is good at staying out of the way, or a tau planet in the first expansion. There isn't really a good faction (those 3 are the "best" factions), but there may be some good people somewhere in those three places.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:31 No.4563203
    Tyranids kick more ass than every other race combined and are going to eat EVERYTHING.

    They are /universe and this post is /thread.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:32 No.4563211
    Solipsism is the name for the view that only the self can be proven to exist, or that only the self DOES exist.

    It has nothing to do with belief begetting reality. In fact, solipsism runs COUNTER to common sense belief and argues that what we might believe, that something other than only our own self exists, is either wrong or unfounded.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:33 No.4563220
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:35 No.4563233
    Ah. Though functionally, I'd like to point out, it means the same thing, as your perception, then, is the decider as to what affects you.

    However, the term 'solipsistic' has kind of been hijacked by scifi to have the meaning that I used it to mean.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:35 No.4563235

    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:36 No.4563238
    Good Guys

    Bad Guys
    Dark Eldar
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:37 No.4563254
    >Though functionally, I'd like to point out, it means the same thing, as your perception, then, is the decider as to what affects you.

    Yes, but in a very different way than the way Orks function. Orks ALTER SOMETHING ALREADY THERE. In the case of solipsism, perception just IS what's there. Nothing more, nothing less.

    Plus, Orks only work en masse. You cannoy have mass solipsism, it completely contradicts what solipsism is.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:38 No.4563256
    Ooops, I forgot the Orks for good guys
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:41 No.4563277
    I am SO confus
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:41 No.4563278
    >However, the term 'solipsistic' has kind of been hijacked by scifi to have the meaning that I used it to mean.

    That is the most retarded hijacking I've heard of in a long time.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:44 No.4563304
    Once upon a time, in the future, post traumatic stress disorder became the norm, and society got fucked. Humanity is led by a dead psychic, and there are aliens that look superficially like elves, orcs, Terminators, Xenomorphs from Aliens, and also cow people who fight in mecha. Every other bit of technology is either steampunk x cyberpunk or only works because of psychic powers. If you're psychic, you almost always have a door to Hell in your head that can open at any time. And his is where faster than light travel occurs.

    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:46 No.4563317
    It's based on how they treat their own "people" rather than how they treat others

    Eldar: Welcome to craftworld XYZ, learn ancient knowledge, watch intricate plays, be an aspect warrior!
    IoM: Sur we may be a bit delapidated, but you're free to do waht you want as long as you don't become a gibbering spawn of chaos.
    Nid': BUFFET'S OPEN!
    Ork: Hey guys, wanna start a barfight?
    Tau: You best be serving the greater good!
    Necron: -harvest more souls- -harvest more souls-
    Chaos: Enjoy your eternal damnation!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/09(Fri)23:48 No.4563327
    Good Guys

    Bad Guys

    Self-Serving Empires

    Forces of Nature

    Boring, Who-Gives-A-Shit Tier
    Dark Eldar

    This is how 40k works.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)00:04 No.4563441
    My summaries:

    Imperium: A nightmare society based on ignorance, fear, control. Every horrible "means-justify-the-ends" trope you can think of put in one place, and run on religion and a horribly bloated bureaucracy, which is in turn run by a secretive society of people who have monopoly on all technology, partially because they halt all independent technological progress in the name of religious dogma.

    Chaos: The negative emotions of all man, given form, manifesting it's self though endless hordes of hateful deamons, lovecraftian horrors and the pissed cultists, big and small, who worship them. Has a lot of converts who were too damn mean for the above group, so that is a mild indicator of the niceness of these guys.

    Orks: An ubiquitous warrior race that can survive anywhere, make weapons from anything, and live only to fight because they think it's fun. Though their eyes, it's pretty funny. Though everyone else's eyes, it sucks balls.

    Eldar/dark eldar: a faction of arrogant stuck-up bastards who killed half the galaxy by partying too much, and now are willing to kill anyone else on a whim because they see everyone else as animals standing in the way of the restoration of their empire. The dark eldar are the ones who are still busy partying and put the emphasis more on the "kill you on a whim" part, except they rape, mutilate, and torture you first for kicks.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)00:05 No.4563451

    Tau: A bunch of upstarts who seem good, but are quickly on their way to becoming just as horrible and depraved as everyone else. They're already on the slippery slope with concentration camps, societal control, and orbitally bombing anyone who disagrees with their conniving, backstabbing negotiators.

    Necrons: Horrible robots who are the left overs of a long dead race who are controlled by horrible quasi-gods who desire to eat souls, and kill everything in the galaxy for reasons beyond mortal comprehension.

    Tyranids: biological von Neumann devices gone crazy and then some- a horde of horrible monsters from beyond the stars who seek to consume everything before them. Intelligent, adaptable, and in ever increasing numbers, and it is implied what we've seen so far is only the advance "scouts".
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)00:05 No.4563453
    Orks: An ubiquitous warrior race that can survive anywhere, make weapons from anything, and live only to fight because they think it's fun. Though their eyes, it's pretty funny. Though everyone else's eyes, it sucks balls.

    This is the most accurate description I've seen.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)01:34 No.4564100
    Imperium: Nazi Space Catholics

    Eldar: Nazi Space Elves

    Dark Eldar: Nazi Space Elves that are into drugs and S&M

    Chaos: Satanic cultists in Space

    Tau: Space Maoists

    Orks: Lord Of The Flies (in Space)

    Tyranids: A viral infection on a galactic level

    Necrons: SkyNet
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)01:38 No.4564123
    pretty much this, except I point out the nids are basically Alien
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)02:03 No.4564341
    Space Marines: "We shall fight an never ending battle against shit, and anyone who stands in our way!"
    Chaos: "Bring on the shit so we may throw it at our enemies!"
    Tau: "We shall stop shit, for the Greater Good. You may join our noble cause, if you do not, you will be labeled as "shit" and exterminated."
    Orkz: "Whats shit?"
    Eldar: "We orchestrate shit so it happens to everyone but us."
    Dark Eldar: "We cause shit, so shit doesn't happen to us."
    Imperial Guard: "We hold the line against shit, until the Beakies come and steal the glory."
    Necrons: "...."
    Nids: "We eat shit and get stronger for it!"
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)07:29 No.4566211
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    >the best places to live would be on one of the "good" imperial planets (in a system governed by a marine chapter would probably be the best)

    Except if the marine chapter in question uses death squads and terror tactics to keep the planet at an appropriately barbaric tech-level, to foster a more suitable attitude towards violence to recruit new marines from.

    It happens, just sayin'
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)07:33 No.4566231
    Well we can't all be the Ultramarine's....
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)07:33 No.4566237
    Pretty much this, except the Necrons are undead robo-skeletons in space, who worship gods who eat hope.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)07:39 No.4566275
    >Dark Eldar: Nazi Space Elves that are into drugs and S&M
    So Delfdar are Anime Nazis? It makes so much sense... MY GOD I CAN SEE FOREVER
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)08:05 No.4566403
    Yella makes it More Flashy!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)08:11 No.4566424
    >Chaos: Satanic cultists in Space

    Laughed so hard.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)08:21 No.4566469
    >Well we can't all be the Ultramarine's....
    The Ultramarine's what? What object belonging to the Ultramarines can't we all be?
    >> anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)08:23 No.4566477
    Don't mind me, I'm just throwing stuff around.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)08:54 No.4566640

    Thanks to the Eldar for protecting the galaxy against Chaos.

    Oh, hi Slannesh, you are a pretty guy
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)09:04 No.4566707

    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)09:07 No.4566719
    Nurgle: Disgusting god of disease, and the good guy in 40K. He loves you, no matter what.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)09:34 No.4566811

    You'd save an anthill over a house of perfectly normal family when considering where to pull a new highway?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)09:55 No.4566895

    Nids are v. pure of purpose. They have no motivation other than survival.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)10:32 No.4567025
    'good' has some pretty moral baggage though
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)10:34 No.4567032
    Nah Most MS are actually capable of decent CQC... tell that to the Tau.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)12:57 No.4567860
    tl,dr: Dicks everywhere!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)16:49 No.4569384
    Archive this shit
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)17:58 No.4569775
    Would anyone care to do the same for Warhammer Fantasy, or should I make another topic for it?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)19:01 No.4570230
    bumping epic topic
    >> SageHoge !!mp3WVEd4fDm 05/16/09(Sat)20:28 No.4570900
    >Future Archived Thread
    you called it.

    >> Anonymous 05/16/09(Sat)20:33 No.4570940
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