Posting mode: Reply
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 3072 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • ????????? - ??

  • File :1242896698.jpg-(23 KB, 480x424, 1242727902082.jpg)
    23 KB Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:04 No.4613936  
    Your character has an important meeting with a contact to get to, and doesn't want to be late. He checks the time.

    Roll a Sanity check
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:06 No.4613943
    rolled 1 = 1

    I continue hopping regardless of the time, the queen will have my head for sure.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:08 No.4613953
    SAN checks aren't a d20, you dolt.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:08 No.4613955

    Welp. You literally shit your pants, and then wrote a suicide note on the wall with it.

    Roll a new character.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:10 No.4613964
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:11 No.4613969
    >Sanity check

    It's like a kaleidoscope except of all the worst parts of your brain. Then smashed and forced through your eyeballs until you can see FOREVER.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:13 No.4613980
    I'm proud of you /tg/ I really am.

    Also being an Australian, I can say that those spiders are smalltime.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:14 No.4613987
    rolled 1 = 1

    Really? Well fuck me. I just assume everything is a d20.

    Also: quickly drift into insanity. The Queen will not be pleased by this turn of events, but it makes more sense than everything else in the story.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:17 No.4614014
    Nice shoop.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:17 No.4614015

    I know right. I have a growing family of huntsmen in my house... and by growing I mean they've kicked one of my housemates out of his room.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:18 No.4614022
    Better him than you, right?
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)05:18 No.4614026
    as an American, I have house centipedes roaming my house.
    goddamn house centipedes.
    they have entirely too many legs and they move entirely too fast.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:20 No.4614040
    >Why I'm going to move to some really fucking cold place, and still make my house as secure as possible against arachnid invasion. God I hate spiders.
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)05:21 No.4614056
    I live in Wisconsin.
    it's not THAT cold, but it ain't exactly warm.
    we get these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scutigera_coleoptrata
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:23 No.4614069
    Yeah, it's the little ones that crawl everywhere, the big ones just mostly keep to themselves. I have had hundreds of little spiders in my room once, poisoned them out a while ago at the nest, they stopped coming back thankfully.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:23 No.4614076
    God damn it OP, I was about to go to bed.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:25 No.4614088
    rolled 2 = 2

    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:25 No.4614090
    "406 mm (16.0 in) per second" hofuck!
    I mean, some place in/near the arctic circle. I'll have to break through permafrost to build my house, but there won't be any fucking spiders.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:25 No.4614093
    This is why I like living in Britain. Here I can pretend to be a manly man and pick up those "big" spiders and carry them outside.

    Whereas if I lived somewhere with genuinely big spiders I'd spend my whole life like the fat black woman in Tom and Jerry.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:26 No.4614099
         File :1242898003.jpg-(28 KB, 600x450, 1240370557047.jpg)
    28 KB
    My Games Workshop order just came in the mail! I can't wait to tear open the box and reach ins-
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)05:27 No.4614108
    House centipedes have moved to Canada, and the colder the climes, the more likely that they'll live inside your house all year round.
    just hundreds of them, scuttling inside your walls.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:28 No.4614118
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:28 No.4614119
         File :1242898108.png-(48 KB, 262x172, WHA.png)
    48 KB
    >Two 1 sanity checks by same person in a row
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:29 No.4614124
         File :1242898144.jpg-(51 KB, 500x325, 1240132228309.jpg)
    51 KB
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)05:29 No.4614128
    yes, yes, you are adorable with your hydraulic legs.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:30 No.4614136
    ;_; I don't wanna build a moonbase.... Well, I do, but I don't want top be trapped in a moonbase if spiders were to somehow find their way there, and started breeding insanely, untill they reached epic sizes becasue of the lack of gravity and oh fuck now I'm going to dream about being trappd on the moon with a bunch of fucking spiders, thanks a lot.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:30 No.4614140
         File :1242898229.png-(92 KB, 292x217, THE HORROR... THE HORROR...png)
    92 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:30 No.4614145
    Oh dear...
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)05:31 No.4614151
    they'd get to your base.
    your building materials would inevitably have some kind of arthropod menace.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:31 No.4614152
    rolled 8 = 8

    ITT: We roll really low.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:32 No.4614159
    Arachniphobe here. strangly enough, ilike jumping spiders, and frequently play with them, before placing them outside, of course. It's the long legs that creep me out... That, and webs...
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:33 No.4614165
    >Originally endemic to the Mediterranean region, the species has spread to other parts of the world, where it usually lives in human homes.

    I read that as "where it usually lives in human bones"
    Now I am very afraid.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:34 No.4614174
    Don't ever come to Australia.
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)05:34 No.4614179
    that's silly. our bones are not filled with centipedes. their muscles would not be enough to move this one's fingers to type.
    and the centipedes do not think in a hive mind like this one does.
    we laugh.
    ho ho ha.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:36 No.4614193
         File :1242898581.png-(97 KB, 476x296, What.png)
    97 KB
    >we laugh
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:37 No.4614200
    I'm never sleeping again.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:38 No.4614205
         File :1242898688.jpg-(53 KB, 292x453, 1240258364730.jpg)
    53 KB
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)05:39 No.4614212
    The combined bites of centipedes would not preserve the tissue.
    even if they forced this one to turn the heat down, and kept his brain alive, this one would not be able to type and see.
    There is no reason for you to think that we are screaming on the inside as our bones are filled with malevolent, intelligent centipedes.
    no reason to think that at all.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:41 No.4614237
    I immediately imagined the can of monster I am drinking is full of spiders. ):
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:42 No.4614243

    A little teleporting spider.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:42 No.4614250
    Not at all, good sir. There is no precedent of bone-eating invertebrates who can self-fertilize, there's no reason to fear!


    See? What a laughable hoax.
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)05:43 No.4614261
    and that is also silly.
    why would they be in something that would go into your stomach acid?
    they would crawl into your nose as you slept.
    mucous membranes are thin and weak.
    of course, that is silly.
    hee hee ho.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:44 No.4614270
    Must... remove... bones...

    No... worms... in me...
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:44 No.4614273
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)05:46 No.4614282
    Those live in whales.
    this one is not a whale.
    we and other humans should not fear bone invasion.
    he laughs at such an idea.
    do not fear.
    they cannot tunnel through an inch of flesh to reach your bones.
    we are as human as you.
    now please expose your spinal column as you sleep.
    it is...orthopedic.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:46 No.4614283
    Ugh. Last night I was drinking beer. A roach had crawled inside, so I go for a swig and get lipful of drowned roach.

    Fuckers come in from outside. Curse you Texas.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:47 No.4614295
    >Between 50 and 100 microscopic dwarf males live inside a single female
    >microscopic dwarf males
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)05:48 No.4614297
    once this vessel ate a tick.
    it was eating ribs and then dropped some on his pants and picked it up and ate it but it was gross.
    so he spit it out and it was the same red but it was kind of had legs.
    he was like, "bones? what?"
    and then another tick, also burgundy-red, was seen on his pant leg.
    he had 2 ticks on him.
    he chewed on one.
    we find this one's reactions amusing.
    it nearly vomited.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:48 No.4614301
    All we need to do is introduce carp into their habitat, friend.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:49 No.4614307
    Mystery of dwarf women solved: the buildings they live in are the females.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:50 No.4614314
         File :1242899401.jpg-(56 KB, 640x480, 1221159697738.jpg)
    56 KB
    IMO the thing about jumping spiders is that they both look nonthreatening, and well... ARE non threatening. They have no interest at all in giving you a jab.

    Here in the U.S. we only have to worry about 2 species. Black Widow and Brown Recluse.

    Oh my god I never ever want to take a nip from a Brown Recluse. Necroticing venom... do not want.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:50 No.4614321
    Centipedes frighten me far far more than any spider. Those things are fast, and worst of all they are aggressive as hell.

    Go pull up a video of one eating. They are voracious.
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)05:51 No.4614325
    this one's grandmother was bitten by a brown recluse.
    they like building webs over toilet seats in outhouses, but have been known to do the same in normal dwellings.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:52 No.4614334
         File :1242899566.jpg-(186 KB, 800x600, 1237642452097.jpg)
    186 KB
    Hey guys, I know a shortcut. It's right under this bridge, cmon!
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)05:53 No.4614343
    The fact that centipedes would devour such creatures happily has nothing to do with my mouth watering.
    no sir it does not.
    >> GURPSfag 05/21/09(Thu)05:53 No.4614345
         File :1242899639.jpg-(15 KB, 250x401, vomit pumpkin..jpg)
    15 KB
    The spiders in IVAN... Oh god... Got bit... Head bleeding... Must... Vomit... Everywhere... Until... Better...
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:54 No.4614347
    Cool clone stamp tool bro.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:57 No.4614365

    i've got bad news for you...
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:57 No.4614367
         File :1242899852.jpg-(193 KB, 780x1143, MeatPortrait_SanCheckPls.jpg)
    193 KB
    Your character has an itch on his forehead and goes to take a look in the mirror.

    Roll a Sanity check.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:58 No.4614369
         File :1242899882.jpg-(29 KB, 400x294, 1237643491694.jpg)
    29 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:58 No.4614370
    - The 'ticks' in Cloverfield. Dog-sized monsters whose bite makes people inflate and explode gruesomely.
    - Last evening I made a stroll through the park with my dog. I looked above the lakes, and I saw PILLARS of mosquitos. Hundreds of them were swirling around in a vertical line, preparing to lay their eggs on the water to create MORE mosquitos.

    I hate mosquitos more than I hate spiders.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:59 No.4614377
    I have personally witnessed a swarm bigger than that, and been covered in said swarm.

    It was a small cave on this ranch outside of Austin, Texas. I jump in and walk a short ways when what is that tickling me? Oh yes. I had disturbed the swarm and they were falling off the ceiling in basketball sized clumps.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)05:59 No.4614379
         File :1242899953.png-(30 KB, 297x343, hanners3.png)
    30 KB
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)06:00 No.4614388
    why, just because they drink your blood?
    OK, so once I was reading this book on parasites, and then coughed hard and then a grain of rice came up because I ate rice and had a cold and so on...
    and I was like, "OH GOD MAGGOTS IN MY BODY!"
    but then I was like, "OK, it's rice."
    I was, like, 10, and I don't know if I've ever been so afraid.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:00 No.4614392
    As an Australian, I have grown uncaring about the hordes of huntsmen that live in my house. And centipedes are merely bird feed.

    Mosquitoes are the god damn annoying ones.
    Also the possums that live inside the walls of my house. They're so god damn loud when they fight.
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)06:01 No.4614396
    I'm going to feel itchy all night.
    >> Bardic Knowledge !CxlrZcljkw 05/21/09(Thu)06:01 No.4614404
    I love you.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:02 No.4614409
    I lol'd. Godamn man you need to break out the poison baits.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:03 No.4614413
    Not because they drink my blood. Because they buzz around at night. They're like miniature ninjas who only care about making a godawful sound right at your fucking ear. AND THEN I TURN ON THE LIGHT, GRAB THE ELECTRIC FLYSWATTER...AND THEY ARE NEVER THERE. NEVER. I HAVE SPENT ENDLESS NIGHTS SEARCHING FOR MOSQUITOS AND THEIR SANITY DEVOURING BUZZING.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:05 No.4614426
    Now I know that Australia is pretty much Land of the Lost when it comes to it's insects, but what kind of mosquito do you guys have?

    Over here in Texas we have the hated "Tiger" mosquito. Black and white striped fuckers the size of a friggin U.S. quarter. The little bastards can bite you through denim.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:05 No.4614428
         File :1242900339.jpg-(150 KB, 725x1225, orangespiderface.jpg)
    150 KB
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)06:05 No.4614430
    there's some African story about why they buzz in your ear.
    they're cursed because they were douchebags and now they're like, "hey bro" but they have to get all close.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:05 No.4614433
    remember kids, if spiders are on the back of your clothing, you won't notice them.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:05 No.4614434
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:06 No.4614437

    You're fucking lucky. The mozzies here are roughly the size of a fifty cent piece, and I am completely straightfaced serious when I say that instead of flies, we have swarms of mozzies instead.

    And the bats! Oh man, the bats.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:07 No.4614439

    Good thing they're mostly harmless.

    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)06:07 No.4614444
    once I had a bat in my apartment.
    goddamn it was hard to chase out.
    and mosquitoes...
    my grandpa is immune to them.
    he gets a tiny red spot, doesn't feel any itchiness, and the spot disappears in a day.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:08 No.4614448
         File :1242900501.png-(12 KB, 144x261, hanners4.png)
    12 KB
    I hate spiders because they build hugemongous webs each night over the doors, and around the general vicinity of, my house. Webs easily spanning 10 feet. I would admire the bastards for their engineering skills if I didn't hate them so much. I am too afraid to leave the house at night for fear of wandering into the webs, and having a brood of spiders get cought in my hair/clothes/face-holes.
    And if others with it, I will continue posting freaked-out-Hanners pictures.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:08 No.4614449
         File :1242900507.png-(256 KB, 474x367, OH SHI.png)
    256 KB
    >Oh yes. I had disturbed the swarm and they were falling off the ceiling in basketball sized clumps.
    My actual face when I read this.
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)06:08 No.4614453
    once I saw a spider egg sac hatch.
    I never felt more itchy in my life.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:09 No.4614460
         File :1242900587.jpg-(81 KB, 412x312, happy_spider.jpg)
    81 KB
    this spider has a smiley face pattern on its back to confuse predators. It's actually not happy to see them at all, but it likes to be polite.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:12 No.4614473
    Damnit where did I put that picture of a grove of trees completely covered in webs. Also an image of a bike webbed to a tree by a webworm invasion.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:13 No.4614480
    Bastard. Did you inherit his superior genetic arrangement?
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:13 No.4614481
         File :1242900820.jpg-(42 KB, 500x750, 1237644963814.jpg)
    42 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:15 No.4614490
    Oddly I did not panic, I was too confused. However if I were to walk through one of those 10 foot webs you can be damn sure I'll be dancing like a man on fire.
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)06:16 No.4614492
    but I also didn't inherit his "I nearly die when stung by bees."
    But yeah.
    I think my grandpa might have superpowers, and bees are his krypronite.
    but it's late and I need to get to bed.
    it's been fun, /tg/.
    I'm not really a colony of centipedes inhabiting a human body. My newfound eloquence isn't simply a hivemind learning how to masquerade as human.
    don't think such silly thoughts.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:19 No.4614509
         File :1242901170.jpg-(39 KB, 800x620, FlyingScorpions.jpg)
    39 KB
    That would traumatize me right then and there. I'd be catatonic for the rest of my days.

    Pic related.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:21 No.4614520
    >flying scorpions.

    Yessiree, no reason to put off the taste of shotgun any longer.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:24 No.4614534
    Its just a hoax though.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:24 No.4614536
    Aussies... What are huntsmen? I'm too afraid too google, you have WAY too many freaky things o n your god-forsaken continent.
    >> parabolic:PRIME !!HfL9M9xslOG 05/21/09(Thu)06:25 No.4614542
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:25 No.4614550
         File :1242901549.jpg-(2.77 MB, 3000x2000, Bigweb.jpg)
    2.77 MB
    >> Lazy DM V !vONhvIg88o 05/21/09(Thu)06:27 No.4614562
    So is this the thread for doing Epic levels in the Arthropod(sp?) RPG?
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:27 No.4614564
    pretty sure that's from a parasyte that kills the trees. Not from spiders.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:27 No.4614565
    I've heard they are docile.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:30 No.4614579

    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:32 No.4614587
    Fuck this thread. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder now.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:33 No.4614592

    To be fair, they're large and intimidating and give you a heart attack, but they're not the worst things you can find in an Australian household.

    They're known for walking around on ceilings and occasionally losing their grip.

    You are now imagining having one fall on your face while you were sleeping.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:33 No.4614593
         File :1242901998.png-(12 KB, 198x205, hanners2.png)
    12 KB
    >can attain a legspan of 250–300 mm (9.8–11.8 in)
    That's... pretty large. One more reason not to visit Australia. Ever. Oh wait. They can also be found where I live. That's good.
    I'll talk to you guys again soon, I need to drive north for about two days.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:33 No.4614596
    It's times like this I'm glad I live in England.
    No spiders or bugs bigger than a couple of inches, and even some of them manage to scare the crap out of me.
    Fucking spiders hiding in the plug hole, jumping out when I go to brush my teeth...
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:33 No.4614597

    Arthropod: The Skittering

    FUND IT!
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:35 No.4614604
         File :1242902103.png-(17 KB, 298x336, hanners6.png)
    17 KB
    Please stop. my neck is sore from checking the ceiling already (ever since the shower incident....)
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:35 No.4614610
    Hanners = /tg/
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:36 No.4614615
    We all knew Australia was a deathworld, didn't we?
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:37 No.4614621
         File :1242902246.jpg-(46 KB, 444x312, 1241655526468.jpg)
    46 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:37 No.4614624

    Deathcontinent Australis.
    >> Goatjaw Stinkteef !!taqDd9490Ip 05/21/09(Thu)06:39 No.4614633
    I'm not afraid of spiders, and as long as they don't attack my dog, I'm cool with them. They eat Cockroaches, you know.
    >> Goatjaw Stinkteef !!taqDd9490Ip 05/21/09(Thu)06:42 No.4614657
    Respect the Arachnid and it's territory. But do not fear it.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:43 No.4614665
    When the arachnid starts thinking my house is its territory, it is gravely MISTAKEN. AND THE ONLY RESULT OF BEING MISTAKEN FOR A SPIDER IS DEATH BY ELECTRIC FLYSWATTER.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:43 No.4614668
    Come to Finland, the worst you can get ehre is wasps making a nest in your room
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:44 No.4614671
    I'll be fucking well afraid of what ever I want to thanks.

    Now, is there any plausible way for me to burn all traces of arachnids in my house with setting it on fire?
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:44 No.4614673
    Man, I dunno about you guys, but I kinda get pretty attached to my huntsmen. They start of tiny and orange and translucent, and watching them get bigger and grow into their fur is kinda cute.
    >> Lazy DM V !vONhvIg88o 05/21/09(Thu)06:47 No.4614692
    Here they eat flies mostly. And while I find spiders creepy, I hate the other damn things.

    But the solution's simple. To reduce the spider pop, remove food sources from house. Rather than, you know, evolving to eat humans and housepets in a generation, they'll start hunting elsewhere.

    I hope.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:48 No.4614698
    step 1: buy a trailer.
    step... wait, WITHOUT burning the original house down? No.
    step 1.5: modify the trailer (instructions will be made available at a later date) so that it is air-tight. Put together an airlock in the dorway, that people must pass though in order to enter your domicile.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:54 No.4614735
    Friendly, human-sized jumping spiders are so going into my next campaign.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:56 No.4614744
         File :1242903370.png-(156 KB, 909x720, 1242280572708.png)
    156 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:57 No.4614750

    No, no, no, no, no, dear god no!
    I'm more afraid of wasps then any spider. Fucking huge flying bitches.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:57 No.4614756
    Make them a bit larger and they sound like a pretty awesome mount. Especially if you remove horses from the setting.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:58 No.4614761
    Bees, my god.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)06:59 No.4614769
    This is what a genestealer cultist actually believes.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:01 No.4614784
    I lol'd.

    brb off to make a scorpion fly. I'll let him go in a hotel.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:02 No.4614794
    This is how it begins.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:04 No.4614803
         File :1242903859.jpg-(30 KB, 498x449, Mandarinia.jpg)
    30 KB
    Isa mushi mushi!
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:05 No.4614808
         File :1242903910.jpg-(56 KB, 224x1024, d98678c635625568a9663564565b.0.jpg)
    56 KB
    Something just for you.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:05 No.4614809
         File :1242903918.jpg-(43 KB, 650x499, scorfly.jpg)
    43 KB
    Scorpions already fly.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:07 No.4614813
    Huntsmans aren't a problem. It's the wolf spiders, who are only slightly smaller but look very similar, and are extremely aggressive, that are the problem.

    That and redbacks.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:08 No.4614816
    And now no-one will ever kiss him again.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:13 No.4614830
         File :1242904394.jpg-(78 KB, 520x311, 61812_Pinksssok520.jpg)
    78 KB
    Cyanide spitting millipede approves of this thread.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:13 No.4614831
    hey whats going on in the threaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:14 No.4614834
    that's not a stinger, it's actually a penis.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:14 No.4614835
         File :1242904455.jpg-(173 KB, 640x480, 1220312731245.jpg)
    173 KB
    >> Agouri !!Q+SCob6iFc6 05/21/09(Thu)07:15 No.4614844
         File :1242904532.jpg-(120 KB, 441x453, wh40kragin.jpg)
    120 KB
    rolled 10 = 10


    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:15 No.4614846
    rolled 28 = 28

    Two assumptions only made by DnDfags:
    1. D20 for EVERYTHING!
    2. the assumption that HIGH=GOOD. You roll LOWER than your current sanity.
    >> Goatjaw Stinkteef !!taqDd9490Ip 05/21/09(Thu)07:17 No.4614860
    Yea, Wolf Spiders can be bastards.

    Had one on my ceiling at the place I used to live in in florida.

    Big enough to make tapping noises when it walked.
    I'd have left him alone if My sister didn't freak the fuck out and demand I kill it.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:17 No.4614861
    ...and yes, you roll a D100.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:21 No.4614875

    Pink millipede will fuck your shit up.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:22 No.4614880

    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:22 No.4614882
         File :1242904968.jpg-(15 KB, 300x352, babby.jpg)
    15 KB
    >this whole fucking thread
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:22 No.4614884
    >That and redbacks.

    We used to have daddy longlegs webs all over the place, simply because they ate redbacks. Lots of webs is better than getting bit on the ass and dying.
    >> Big Unit 05/21/09(Thu)07:23 No.4614891
         File :1242905007.jpg-(319 KB, 738x900, Heteropoda_maxima_1.jpg)
    319 KB
    >Huntsmans aren't a problem

    Being 12 inches in leg-span and having a 4.6 centimeter body-length, I the Heteropoda Maxima, the largest Huntsmen in the world, laugh at your laissez-faire attitude.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:23 No.4614892
         File :1242905021.png-(5 KB, 109x103, hnaugh.png)
    5 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:23 No.4614893
    do not want
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:23 No.4614894
    Your funnel web spiders... ugh. Now those are some rough customers.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:25 No.4614899
         File :1242905122.jpg-(33 KB, 800x640, 1235795400043.jpg)
    33 KB
    Delicious baby, must eat.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:27 No.4614911
    I'll bet he POPS when I grind him under my boot.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:27 No.4614913
         File :1242905244.jpg-(118 KB, 750x368, 20041126h.jpg)
    118 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:27 No.4614916
         File :1242905267.jpg-(189 KB, 1406x810, flamethrower.jpg)
    189 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:28 No.4614919
    Big isn't scary. Big means you can see them coming.

    Scary is the little ones with the deadly venom, that you DON'T see before you sit on them or whatever.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:29 No.4614927
    Unless he eats your boot.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:30 No.4614935
         File :1242905436.jpg-(36 KB, 445x600, bird_eating_spider01.jpg)
    36 KB
    Oh SHIT. I haven't seen you since college! We should totally go to dinner.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:30 No.4614937
    I hate white tails. Teeny-fucking-tiny, very hard to see, necrotic venom that stays in your skin forever.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:31 No.4614942
         File :1242905470.jpg-(29 KB, 251x323, keanu_reeves.jpg)
    29 KB
    Thats a nice one
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:31 No.4614946
    It lives in caves and is an ambush predator. Enjoy wandering around in darkness with one.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:33 No.4614955
         File :1242905596.jpg-(30 KB, 354x335, cameron diaz.jpg)
    30 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:35 No.4614968
    Swedeb is usually blessed with the absence of creepy creatures, but we get Gadflies:

    "The bite from a larger specimen is extremely painful, especially considering the light, agile, and airborne nature of the fly. Unlike insects which surreptitiously puncture the skin with needle-like organs, horse flies have mandibles like tiny serrated scimitars, which they use to rip and/or slice flesh apart. This causes the blood to seep out as the horsefly licks it up. They may even carve a chunk completely out of the victim, to be digested at leisure."

    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:38 No.4614985
         File :1242905932.jpg-(38 KB, 300x346, gianthornet2.jpg)
    38 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:39 No.4614987
    oh god oh god oh god
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:40 No.4614993
    It...it lives in darkness?

    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:41 No.4615001
         File :1242906103.jpg-(28 KB, 249x323, keanu_reeves6.jpg)
    28 KB
    I find this thread delicious
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:42 No.4615009
    Sweden is the most insect/arachnid free of the Muslim nations. That is one thing it has going for it.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:43 No.4615020
         File :1242906221.jpg-(182 KB, 1296x1736, 1242805566335.jpg)
    182 KB
    Allah Akbar!
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:43 No.4615023
         File :1242906230.jpg-(17 KB, 180x138, 180px-Horse_fly_Tabanus_2.jpg)
    17 KB

    Jesus fucking christ, look at this motherfucker.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:45 No.4615034
         File :1242906313.gif-(67 KB, 408x449, nkjnknk.gif)
    67 KB
    I know, right?
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:48 No.4615046
         File :1242906483.jpg-(667 KB, 1500x998, 1240132495900.jpg)
    667 KB
    ....hey there.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:49 No.4615049
         File :1242906570.jpg-(61 KB, 659x600, Tarantulahawk2.jpg)
    61 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:53 No.4615076
    Kindly stop existing. You're not welcome in my reality. I'm not comfortable knowing that you are a possibile configuration of matter in this universe.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:54 No.4615078
         File :1242906850.jpg-(92 KB, 800x600, 800px-Wasp_and_spider_02.jpg)
    92 KB
    These are some badass motherfucka wasps.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:55 No.4615087
    that looks awesome
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:57 No.4615097
    No one fucks with Tarantula Hawk's, this is true.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)07:57 No.4615098
    Muslim nations...eh?
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:04 No.4615132
    I actually got bitten by one, it feels totally different from a sting. It litterally took a piece of flesh from my neck and tore it off.

    Mosquitos are not dangerous in Sweden, just annoying. They come in huge swarms though, with a very creepy sound.

    For me, ticks are much more creepy, I constantly check every inch of my body for them after spending time in tall grass areas.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:05 No.4615140
         File :1242907527.jpg-(28 KB, 247x323, keanu_reeves5.jpg)
    28 KB

    >Tarantula wasps are "nectarivorous." The consumption of fermented fruit sometimes intoxicates them to the point that flight becomes difficult.
    >fermented fruit
    >flight becomes difficult

    >In terms of scale, the wasp's sting is rated at the top of the Schmidt Sting Pain Index, second only to that of the bullet ant and is described by Schmidt as "Blinding, fierce [and] shockingly electric.".
    Im impressed to the point that my picture is in negative colours.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:07 No.4615151

    Someone reference the Schmidt sting index?

    I'm curious how the Bald-faced hornet sting feels. "Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:10 No.4615162
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:11 No.4615175
    If you guys don't have Ross River fever from mosquito bites, consider yourself truly blessed. Imagine a really bad case of the flu, only those muscle aches are accompanied by joint swelling.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:11 No.4615176
    rolled 35 = 35

    rolling san (25)
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:18 No.4615211
    >4.0 Tarantula hawk: Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath.

    so colorful and vivid like that tarantula hawk's POWERLEVEL!
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:19 No.4615212
         File :1242908348.jpg-(64 KB, 600x494, Siafu.jpg)
    64 KB
    >When the Siafu attack, they rarely string, rather they crawl into clothing and then bite, latching on with their powerful sheering jaws and even burrow, this has given them the moniker Driver Ants.
    >When the Siafu migrate their caravan can become so large (over 50,000,000 ants) that every animal on the African jungle floor near it leaves in mass, even elephants do not disrupt them.
    >Siafu horror stories from African villages include relatives (the very young or sick to even a the full grown) being carried off into the night when viliages are to close to known Siafu Zones.
    >African hunters always travel in packs of five not because of lions or other large predators but because they fear the Siafu.
    >Places in Africa where the Siafu build their ant hills are called Saifu Zones. Siafu colonies can contain over 20 million individuals.
    >All Siafu colonies are FEMALE, male Siafu, sometimes known as "sausage flies" are the largest known ants. Males leave the colony soon after hatching, but are drawn to the scent trail left by a column of siafu once it reaches sexual maturity. When a colony of driver ants encounters a male, they tear its wings off and carry it back to the nest to be mated with a virgin queen.

    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:20 No.4615220
    As I was reading through this thread, my cat smacked my bare foot with her paw. In utter shock, I jumped out of my seat and smashed my knees on the bottom of the desk. Because of the pain, my legs reflexively withdrew, while I was leaping out of the seat at the same time. The back of my legs knocked the chair out from under me, and so I fell back onto nothing. As I was tumbling backwards, I reflexively grabbed the drapes to the window directly to my right, but the curtain rod would not hold up a fully grown man. The now-free curtain rod swung behind me, smashing into my warhammer fantasy goblin army, many of which are huge blocks of spearmen. They fell to the floor, several landing spear tips up, and my slow and awkward tumble finally met the floor and the spearmen. I have several holes in my back now, a unit and a half of goblin spearmen have been crushed, my curtain rod has been bent and wont fit back in the holding properly, I snapped a leg on my old wooden chair, and my kneecaps are throbbing.

    The cat is fine.

    Fuck you both, OP.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:20 No.4615222
         File :1242908439.jpg-(42 KB, 468x329, article-1165930-03FD1AB7000005(...).jpg)
    42 KB
    It's okay guise, it's still safe in the water. In fact, you might want to try hiding amongst the rocks and coral, it's gua
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:20 No.4615224
    We don't and I'm thankfull.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:22 No.4615230
         File :1242908526.jpg-(1.39 MB, 1696x2544, Dorylusmayonnaise.jpg)
    1.39 MB
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:25 No.4615259
         File :1242908741.jpg-(947 KB, 3504x2336, 20060402_bobbit_worm_2_large.jpg)
    947 KB
    I'm a worm, I'M A WORM, I'll bite off your diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:26 No.4615266
    >When the Siafu migrate their caravan can become so large (over 50,000,000 ants) that every animal on the African jungle floor near it leaves in mass, even elephants do not disrupt them.

    Is this leading to "I'm sick of this 'masterwork ant' bullshit! The Siafu desires so much better than that!"?
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:32 No.4615311

    >>These species are hematophagous (consume blood) parasites,
    >>known for their peculiar habit of entering the human urethra
    >>A traditional "cure" involves the use of two plants, the jagua or jenipapo plant (Genipa americana) and the Buitach apple which are inserted (or their extract in the case of tight spaces) into the affected area. It is thought that these two plants together will kill and then dislodge the fish.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:35 No.4615321
    rolled 4 = 4


    My athletics roll... +9 to drop kick the clock before they begin to attack and preemptively crush them.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:38 No.4615334
    You're not a real man until you've worn a glove of angry bullet ants. UP TO TWENTY TIMES.


    "The Satere-Mawe people of Brazil use intentional bullet ant stings as part of their initiation rites to become a warrior. The ants are first rendered unconscious by submerging them in a natural chloroform, and then hundreds of them are woven into a glove made out of leaves (which resembles a large oven mitt), stinger facing inward. When the ants regain consciousness, a boy slips the glove onto his hand. The goal of this initiation rite is to keep the glove on for a full ten minutes. When finished, the boy's hand and part of his arm are temporarily paralyzed because of the ant venom, and he may shake uncontrollably for days. The only "protection" provided is a coating of charcoal on the hands, supposedly to confuse the ants and inhibit their stinging. To fully complete the initiation, however, the boys must go through the ordeal a total of 20 times over the course of several months or even years."
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:41 No.4615339

    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:42 No.4615345
    Are you sure you want to remove the clock?

    Are you REALLY sure?
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:43 No.4615350
    Dorylus make for fun video clips.

    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:45 No.4615360
    As a male, I find this absolutely terrifying.

    And just a little bit hot.
    >> CommissarHavoc !!jtQXUhFGp59 05/21/09(Thu)08:46 No.4615361
    I am so scared of this entire goddamn thread. I may never sleep again.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:50 No.4615374
         File :1242910214.jpg-(40 KB, 440x437, 1215993556125.jpg)
    40 KB

    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:53 No.4615391
    The average person swallows five spiders while they sleep in their lifetime.

    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:54 No.4615395
    That is a silly as shit urban rumor.
    >> That damn Nosferateu 05/21/09(Thu)08:56 No.4615407
    rolled 42 = 42

    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)08:57 No.4615417
    We all are filled with these:
    I'm going to burn myself.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)09:00 No.4615426
    I don't believe you.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)09:03 No.4615439
    Must go upstairs, must go upstairs...
    >> CommissarHavoc !!jtQXUhFGp59 05/21/09(Thu)09:04 No.4615443
    rolled 66 = 66

    Fuck this thread...
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)09:04 No.4615444


    Beautiful in a horrifying sort to way.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)09:07 No.4615453
         File :1242911252.jpg-(61 KB, 461x691, 070828-scuba-spider_big.jpg)
    61 KB
    Oh, hai
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)09:07 No.4615455
         File :1242911278.jpg-(133 KB, 720x480, vash_the_stampede_yelling.jpg)
    133 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)09:12 No.4615474
         File :1242911536.jpg-(3 KB, 200x200, pic-gun_to_head.jpg)
    3 KB
    >this thread
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)09:14 No.4615487
    I am gona go crawl into bed adn cry now....

    thanks a lot /tg/
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)09:15 No.4615490
    They're crawling in my eyes, through my veins,
    Chewing, munching, biting! ARGHHH THEY'RE IN MY BRAIN!
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)09:22 No.4615521

    you know, most of these things like to stay in warm, dry places.

    like in sheets.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)09:35 No.4615558
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)09:35 No.4615561
    Funny that's what the crab in >>4615374 said.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)09:36 No.4615567
         File :1242912994.jpg-(235 KB, 990x825, Spiders.jpg)
    235 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)09:51 No.4615618
         File :1242913913.jpg-(61 KB, 604x453, blue-toothed elephant spider.jpg)
    61 KB
    The face and jaws you see before you die.
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)10:07 No.4615680
         File :1242914867.png-(60 KB, 652x619, splongebob.png)
    60 KB
    this is my mind after reading this thread
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)10:31 No.4615799
    O_O; Dat Grin
    >> Anonymous 05/21/09(Thu)10:55 No.4615915
    did we just got invaded by /an/ and /x/?

    Delete Post [File Only]
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]