You return to find the mountain of Buzzardloved untouched! However, a large block of obsidian seems to be blocking the entrance.

Huh, looks like Buzzardloved might be no more. Look around for anyone outside.

>>4643063
obvious answer: Headbutt that shit.

GLEE! This is the first time I've seen a Dorfquest start!
>>4643063
ZAP THAT BITCH! You can vaporize stone with that gem we had in our eye.

There is only one solution.

Obsidian Doorshield.

Deforestation! But with rock.

When we get back, we should totally find a dentist and a tamer. Tame our fish hand then equip it with steel piranha teeth.

>>4643105
This

Break it the fuck down. Also, what race should we conquer? I was thinking centaurs, but they may not be dorfy enough.

>>4643091
>>4643097
>>4643115
The door disintegrates under your penetrating gaze.

I wish I was around last time so I could have suggested asking for a few more charge for our breathe weapon(since xom was right there).

>>4643125
Go in and demand to know what the fuck happened.

>>4643125
Well that was a shitty door. Go see if your subjects did anything while you were out.

>>4643125
Good! Now go home, assure the community everything is ok, find a tamer, tame fish hand, find a dentist, equip fish hand with bitching teeth.

Wait a minute... Beardbeard is ONLY drunk. We need him at AT LEAST Very Drunk!

Did we kill that water snake yet?

>>4643105
You take the chunk of obsidian from the top. It might come in useful.

>>4643136
>Demand what the fuck happened

>>4643180
Who the hell is that? Rotate the camera so it faces him.

>>4643180
Please don't be Musclebeard...

>>4643180

Finlay

>>4643180
Is Beardbeard gonna have to CHOKE a bitch?
Unless it's Musclebeard, then we're kinda fucked.

>>4643198
>>4643200
>Rotate the camera

>>4643216
God damn it Musclebeard, why didn't you do this when the other king was in charge?

>>4643216
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

>>4643216
FUCK.

Ask him how dare he take over in our absence! Such treachery is... ELF LIKE! Plus we were nice to him, how come?

Ho fuck

>>4643216
Ask if we can at least keep our loot.

>>4643216
WHY MUSCLEBEARD WHY!?!?
No really, ask him!

>>4643216
"NOT FIT!? I DEFEATED THE KING IN A HOLY DRINKING CONTEST! NONE ARE MORE FIT THAN I!"

>>4643216

"I don't understand how having a fish for a hand makes me unfit to rule sir."

>>4643229
>>4643234
>Why didn't you do this when the other king was in charge?
"The OTHER king didn't run off every time any little thing comes up. The OTHER king isn't a chaotic psychopath out for blood. The OTHER king wasn't going to run our proud race into the ground. YOU are."

>>4643268
LITTLE? LITTLE?!? SUNBEARD was killed! He was sacred to our people! Come, we shall show him Sunson.

>>4643268
We can't argue with his logic and he could probably destroy use in one panel. It's not like we used or servants for any so this is no major loss.

>>4643268
He DOES raise some very good points.

>>4643268
Well that kinda makes sense. Also, Presly, get the hell out of here. You might die or something.

>>4643268
... True, but Sunbeard is NOT some LITTLE THING!

Hey guys, you have to remember the only reason we killed a god, god-dragon, and demonic sun is because we called upon the power of the dorf to smite them. We can't do that against him.

>>4643268
Fuck his very good points. Challenge your GOD to a drinking contest over your kingdom!

We are fit for ruling and we will show it to him!

>>4643268

"doesn't mean you have to usurp me, all i care about is the title and being able to have my way with the womin; you could of/or have been having someone doing all the grunt work while I troll around MAKING A NEW SUN and other little things"

>>4643376
XOM HAS SPOKEN

>>4643376

Run over and high-five Xom with your doobie hand

>>4643376
What's telling Xom what to do going to accomplish? He's the god of chaos for a reason. Oh, and FUCK YES XOM!

>>4643376
Thanks Xom. Anyway point out Sunbeard is no little thing and that we created Sunson. His heart will soften and let us carry on our reign.

Gnome might be railroading us. Also, I never got an answer to whether we killed that water snake or not.

>>4643323
We worship Xom.
>>4643376
IN BEARDBEARD'S defence! His life has revolved around being as DORFY as possible!

>>4643420
FUCK!

WE HAVE TO GO AND KILL THAT SNAKE! RIGHT AWAY!

FOR XOM!

>>4643424
>We worship Xom.

Then we just challenge a god in general. It's not like we haven't done that before.

>>4643376
Perform the ULTIMATE DORFEN INSULT.

Shave his beard off, then use it to glue a toupee to his head.

>>4643289
>>4643290
>>4643320

>>4643438

Shave him. Bare-chinned, he will not dare question our reign.

>>4643438
Do you seriously think that any blade divine or not can cut his beard?

>>4643459
Musclebeard is the GOD OF DORFS (other then the Xom worshipers)
His beard is mightier then even ours! Besides, we like drinking at HIS place!

>>4643462

Razor sharp obsidian glass, sharper than any steel, forged in the bones of the earth, made from volcanism and raw dorfish will.

>>4643454
"...But you also make the fairly unreasonable, perhaps even outright stupid, assumption that I care about that stuff. I don't.

I want my kingdom back."

>>4643323
>>4643435
>>4643438

>>4643454
Gnome. Sunson. He might let us keep being king if he knows of Sunson!

>>4643489
Well shit. We've challenged the God of Dorfs, might as well go all in. Challenge him to a drinking contest.

OOOH! This is getting goooood!

>>4643489
For some reason, that doesn't look quite right.

>>4643489
Is that a Sixstring reference?

>>4643529
It's probably the doobie.

>>4643509
>Challenge the God of Dorfs to a drinking contest
We'd be dead of alcohol poisoning before he's even tipsy.

>>4643489
That hand looks fucking weird.

>>4643496
"I know of Sunson." Musclebeard replies. "I know how you abandoned your kingly duties out of sentimentality, and recklessly endangered the entire planet by destroying the sun itself."

>>4643543
Hey, hit 'em at their strongest point to show you don't care!

>>4643543
Beardbeard's immune to poison, he'll probably just pass out instead.

>>4643549
The Sun was wrong! Besides, we killed a god once, and we wanted to top that.

>>4643549
WHAT DUTIES!? It wasn't like I was informed of anything I was supposed to do. Send messengers for this stuff.

>>4643549
But i still brought back our sun. What exactly have you done recently? Besides make great beer.

Is elf moon still alive?

Challenge him to a fight then destory the place

>>4643549
You are no God of Dorfs. The risk of our planet's destruction is a small price to pay for bringing back that awesomeness.

Two breathe

>>4643617

Pro-tip: We don't know he's Moradin.

Xom has an idea.

Come ooooooooooooooooooon... Fight already!

>>4643662

Xomish Beer drinking Contest

>>4643662
He's going to teleport us somewhere hilarious isn't he?

>>4643662

:O

>>4643666
Silence, Xom! Or should I say... SATAN!

>>4643684

I hope he teleports us to where Garelf and Queen are, and then declares a FFA

Remember if we kill him, BeardBeard will become the GOD OF ALL DORFS.

>>4643662
I for one would love to see Xom kick some ass. What kind of damage would that do?

>>4643726
Imagine the satan arm incident, but instead of a town it's the entire continent.

Xom charges you. Kind of.

>>4643742
use rock to play fetch with Xom, throw at Xusclebeard.

>>4643742
Xom, wrong way. Musclebeard's behind you.

>>4643742
Dodge! Well actually him hitting us might do something good... but dodge anyway!

I want something choko related to happen.

How are we going to defeat the gods that gave us power?

>>4643809
We're Beardbeard, and we can do anything.

>>4643754
>Play fetch

[Cutscene]

>>4643817
Dapper Xom.

>>4643817
TEAM UP WITH MUSCLEBEARD AND KICK HIS ASS!

Also, that chunk of rock is going to hit Musclebeard, isn't it?

>>4643863
Yes. The shard appears to sheer his arm in half after he attempted to catch it...

...only to be pushed back out of his arm in the form of an ax, the rest of the stone unaccounted for.

>>4643909
Run out side and ask sunson if he can blast them with a solar flare. We have fire resistance so it should hurt them more.

>>4643909
Now its time to pull out your axe. A satan gift is probably as strong as whatever he just made there.

>>4643909
Shit. We should really try to lead Xom to do the fighting for us. Also point out that we left for friendship, a trait all Dorfs hold dear so it was no "little thing". Look back, should have done this sooner.

>>4643909

Um.....wow. I know he's a god of dwarves and all, and that pretty much comes with the territory, but still, that's freakin' awesome.

>>4643909
What is this muscle beard made out of stone? Pull out your axe as well!

Go, Xom! You sexy, sexy god! Also smart and did I mention sexy?

That somehow seems to have stopped Xom's assault. He surely works in mysterious ways.

[/Cutscene]

>>4643909

Stare bewildered at what musclebeard did, as we do not know he is moradin.

Wheres our kickass cape btw?

>>4643975
He's touching us, are we going to mutate again?

>>4643909
Beardbeard... now may be the time to chance gods...

>>4643909

Eyebeam that Axe.

>>4643994
Nah, it looks like he's just touching our armor, so it's probably going to turn into a pile of venomous snakes or something.

>>4643994
Stone Scales!

Inform Musclebeard that a fight to the death between a god-killing dwarf and a dwarf god would probably leave the kingdom in ruins as collateral.

Best to settle this with a drinking contest.

>>4644038
We do not know he is a god.

>>4644038
Or at least outside.

>>4644043
This. Beardbeard doesn't know Musclebeard = Moradin.

Guys... I have a plan. You know our ability, Everything is a Weapon? Let's wield Xom against Musclebeard. BEST IDEA EVER, NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG.

>>4644057
YEEEESSSSSSSSSSS

>>4644053
I THINK REGENERATING AN ARM AND MAKING A STONE AXE WOULD BE A CLUE!

>>4643994
...Yes.

>>4643993
Forgotten by the drawfag is where.

>>4644038
god killer killing a god...

>>4644062
Or at least his teacup or whatever he is holding by the time gnome draws it.

>>4644057
NO! WAIT! XOM IS...XOM.
This would be a mistake, simply because he'll ignore you.

>>4644067
STONE SCALES

>>4644064
WELL IT'S NOT LIKE WE HAVEN'T DONE RIDICULOUS SHIT LIKE THAT

ALL DORFS ARE FUCKING BADASS AND CAN PULL OUT THIS KIND OF STUFF WHEN THEY REALLY WANT

No proof. Especially since Beardbeard has no points at all in Logic.

>>4644067
Hooray

>>4644067
Quick, resist mutation! Unless its actually something cool, then keep it.

>>4644095
You don't really have a choice you know.

Please tell me this fight isn't going to take up the whole night.

>>4644057
>Wield Xom as a weapon

>There is no way this could go wrong

>>4644136
Nothing could possibly go wrong here, hur hur.

>>4644136
REMEMBER WHEN YOU KILLED THAT ELF BY BEATING HIM TO DEATH WITH HIS DECAPITATED FRIEND!

WE'VE DONE THIS BEFORE!

>>4644136
Try and swing him around by his legs do he doesn't fuck up your hands more.

>>4644136
Throw him at Musclebeard.

>>4644136
Well, we're screwed.
Use him as a weapon anyway.

>>4644157
Yeah but not with the god of chaos and mutations, who mutates you by just touching him.

>>4644136
Evoke Xom to enable the Reaching brand. Remember? He can do that, he did just a minute ago.

Then whack musclebeard with him.

>>4644173
I don't see any problems with mutating. The ones we have now are boring.

You charge Musclebeard, determined to take him dow- where the hell did he get a second obsidian ax.

>>4644136
This is how you treat your god? I thought we were bros...

>>4644197
Head butt the axes, they are made of stone.

>>4644197
Well that's going to do a lot of good. Make Xom rubberband into Moradin.

>>4644197
Zap axes with eye, smack him with xom.

>>4644197
We are so fucked.

Run around Musclebeard really fast! Tie him with Xom's arm!

Why is Red blue?

>>4644237
Because kay oss.

I think this may be the end of Beardbeard. He's rapidly becoming too mutated to be a proper dorf. Soon he may even lose his alcohol dependency!

>>4644237
Because he is a male god. And male gods are blue.

>>4644197

Screw the rules of logic (which shouldn't be hard seeing as you're wielding Xom) and cleave into Musclebeard with Xom's stretched out arm!

>>4644197
NO AXE CAN STOP OUR ASSAULT

>>4644211
>>4644213
>>4644215
>Headbutt axes, assault with Xom
You have been disarmed of the Stone of Ionus.

>>4644304

'Tis but a mere flesh! Press onward with the attack!

>>4644304
Take a few steps back and let Xom smack into him. Moradin feels like being a cheating bastard with his stone axes today.

>>4644304
Like I said - we're fucked.

>>4644304
Bear forward and press our advantage with a devastating counter attack!

Touch Musclebeard's beard with Xom. Mutate his source of power.

TWO BREATH AT HIS BEARD

>>4644317
>>4644337
>Counteratta-
Secret Dorfen Technique.

>>4644353
XOM NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ENTER A BERSERK RAGE

>>4644353
Fuck, he broke our Xom. Take out the Axe of the Pit if we still have it, he shouldn't be able to break an ancient god gift or whatever.

>>4644353
I'm bored, let's see what this Golden scepter does...

>>4644353
Hey, we can do that too! Deforest him!

>>4644353
Im-impossible! Our attack!

Concede. We have been out dwarfed.

Wait, where did Xom hit?

>>4644353

Fuck you, Musclebeard. Nobody beats up my Xom but me.

Deforestation succession technique: TIMBERSERKER

>>4644353
Fuck. We have to bring out the last resort... Axe, Ale, Beard, Pride!

>>4644353

Okay, quick check:

1. Are we okay?
2. Can we still stand?
3. Do we still have the will to defy the god of Dorfs?

If at least one of these is applicable, then counter with your own variant of Deforestation.

>>4644353
Wait, wait, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT! We're fighting OURSELVES in this battle! Think, how would I kill MYSELF!

>>4644390
He will just turn and do that same.
BUT HE IS EVEN MORE DORF THEN WE ARE!

>>4644392
The only way to destroy Beardbeard would be to destroy the world.

>>4644353
Jesus, look at that Dorfy beard. That thing could probably kick our ass alone. I think we're outclassed here, this isn't just some Dorf we're fucking with, it's THE Dorf.

>>4644390
Do you really want to match Musclebeard in any of those categories?

THE MAN WE ARE FIGHTING AGAINST IS THE STRONGEST. THAT IS WHY HE IS THE RIGHTEST. MAKE HIM KING.

>>4644406
I bet we have more pride, seeing as Beardbeard is the one that started this.

>>4644406
We have more PRIDE for sure, Musclebeard was annoyed that we went to restore Sunbeard out of pride.

>>4644391

Damn, forgot to add: "Is your beard intact?"

If it's a scratch, then we're going to have to come up with a plan.

If it's a good chunk of your beard either:

A: Submit, and cry at the loss of your beard.

B: TAP INTO YOUR WELL OF RAGE, AND SHOW UNBRIDALED FURY THAT THE COSMOS HAVE YET TO BARE WITNESS TO, AND THE VERY GODS THEMSELVES WILL SOIL THEMSELVES IN FEAR RAURRALJK;S;ALSJD;LSAJDLKA

Well, it might be best if we made Musclebeard a puppet king to give the populace a face. Maybe we could work something out.

We're covered in Xom blood right now. Won't that like horribly mutate us or something?

>>4644388
>>4644380
Cutscene.

TAKE THIS OUTSIDE BEFORE BUZZARDLOVED IS DESTROYED!

>>4644458
Oh you, stop giving Gnome ideas.

>>4644458
and the surroundings, and anything else in contact or near it...

>>4644461
Damn it, too late.

This Dorf is causing trouble and attempting to become the Master of all Dorfs?
There is only one true Dorf Master!
Quick summon Today!
(Or edit the raws to remove his beard.)

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>4644469
Does that mean we can mutate fuse into the mountain and become Dorf Prime?

HAHAHA DIE BEARBEARD! DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!

>>4644520
Wait, why's an elf cheering on the God of Dorfs.

>>4644520

>>4644529
If beardbeard assimilates the god of dorfs you have an unstoppable killing machine.

>>4644520

>>4644461

Take a cue from Fate Stay Night and perform your own Unlimited Blade Works...with axes! Oh, and without dying pointlessly.

>>4644529
Technically he's not cheering for anyone, he just wants Beardbeard dead.

>>4644552
Well, if we got off of the Visual Novel, he won't have to die.

What happened gnome? Did you forget something?

>>4644597
He probably just messed up.

>>4644597
>>4644604
Or is simply drawing the next drawings.

>>4644605
Pretty fast. Can't read.

Also do other characters get new advanced super-techniques too? Would be just fair.

>>4644605
Oh shit Beardbeard. Been training without telling us. You're a naughty dorf. Now go wreck that guy.

>>4644628
...Nope.

Never mind, let's just carry on.

If we kill him, will the same thing happen that happened with Glittergold?

Abur!?

What did you do this time?

I now remember why I stopped using .gifs.

>>4644639
If we do kill him (and I doubt it, but if we do) that means we'll have his divinity and can use it ourselves, becoming God Beardbeard (Godslayer)!

I am the bone of my axe.
Ale is my body, and beer is my flesh.
I have drank over a thousand pints.
Unknown to sobriety,
Nor known to walking in a straight line.
I have withstood pain of waiting in line to take a wicked piss.
Yet this bladder will never hold anything.
So as I pray "Unlimited Axe Works!"

>>4644659
Yeah, We couldnt do glitergold because we weren't a fae[sic], but we are a dorf so we can become god in this instance

>>4644672
Actually I think we just didn't use it because we promised Satan to give HIM Glittergold's divinity.

>>4644659
I meant, will we be teleported to the safe room where Fate will be waiting for us?

ONE LAST TRY.

>>4644681
That got it.

>>4644678
No, you have to be COMPATIBLE to take the godhood.
SATAN was compatible with the MAGIC pert of Glittergold.

>>4644681

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

TIMBERSERKER!

>>4644695
Oh ok. Nevermind then.

In the event that we manage to off Musclebeard....

[spoiler] This is now playing in your head. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BMP-H2ydJk [/spoiler]

>>4644707

Freakin' TG and it's no spoiler tags......

>>4644707

>>4644734
Awesome

Oh and autosagin' here bossman

>>4644695
This raises a question: Can a god worship another god?

All Hail the new mad god of the dwarves.

>>4644747
He hasn't won yet. Besides, Beardbeard is a pretty shitty king, I can't imagine he'd do a better job as a god.

>>4644745
I'd suspect not, but:
1. This is Xom we're talking about.
2. We could be good pals anyway.

>>4644785
What do we care? Remember, zero in Logic.

>>4644785
>I can't imagine he'd do a better job as a god.

As if this has stopped you guys before.

New thread: >>4644798

New thread folks:
>>4644798