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Ahh, these stories.
A player of ours, one of the dullest dimwits to ever hit the gaming table, couldn't understand the subtle hints we wanted him to go. Even after I said, "no, I don't like you," and so on. There is plenty of dumb references in that conversation alone, however! One of the early references to his stupidity was the donation of the 'Shiv of Healing' given to him by the BBEG who was trying to underhandedly kill everybody and convert him to the 'other side.'
This was explained in GREAT detail how dicky this guy was and to NEVER trust him. Regardless our wonderful shining example of inbreeding decided to stab himself with the knife, for 3 months. I never told him how it worked. Gave him a flaw for it too. Every time he stabbed himself he took damage, he gleefully rolled for the damage and then asked, "how much does the knife store?"
To which I replied, "You have no way of knowing." See the thing was he was hiding it from the others who could tell what it was, and was doing it under the assumption of its title and nothing more.
So, some time later he got into a fight with the BBEG and was losing HORRIBLY. Bloodied and finding himself unable to retaliate anymore he said, "I WILL USE THE SHIV OF HEALING!"
Again, I informed him, "You don't know how it works."
"Do it anyway!" he smugly responds.
"Roll damage." I say.
"Ok," he says, and then asks, "How much do I heal."
To this everyone was waiting for the response, "you don't" I said. I tallied the damage, and informed him he bleeds out.
The end of the argument stood with the simple question, "even if there were hit points stored inside the shiv, how do you get them out?" This left him in a quandary and is still a story that brings about laughs at the table.