Darnit, I was hoping for Xom quest. Is the mushroom of death in the swamp?

Now before we start, a short announcement. Next week's Dorf Quest will be on Thursday, and I will need to switch off of "every Saturday at 10 pm," because that is when my graveyard shift starts at my new job.

So next week's thread will be on Thursday, and I will be sure to mention when the next DQ will be then. Also, Nemelex.

And now back to your regularly scheduled Dorf Quest.

Wooo! L! Single digit! I'll end all my statements in an exclamation mark!

Let's see what we know of current worldly affairs! And also if elf moon is deeeeead!

>>4715748
find belt of restraint, break it with un-restrainable erection

Alright, your harem is all together (you found this sexy librarian naga, mm hmm), and you still have 10 days before your Geas sets in to make you hunt a new Leyline. You...

Um, huh. That's new. Your gauntlet seems to be leaking.

>>4715801
Set it down, last time we destroyed a leyline, the thing linked to it exploded.

I demand we locate a naga to call Woster! It'll be great.

GROPE THE NAGA NURSE.

>>4715801
Stick some mud on it, that'll clog it up.

>>4715812
On second thought, arms are a dime a dozen.

>>4715801
It's to do with the box, isn't it? I knew it. Call up New Satan about this stuff.

>>4715836
That's probably a good idea.

>>4715801

Call up Satan, find out what's going on.

>>4715801
Ask Djinn/Satan whats up with that

>>4715801

Logic time!

Clearly, the... whatever the hell you are, I can't remember the name of your species STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT.

Anyway. They usually wear two arm... bracelets? Guard? Boxes? at the same time. Presumably, their must be a reason for this.

Considering that you draw your power from the shadow dimension (and have been drawing said power frequently), it's probably caused the gauntlet to degrade rapidly without a second one to help it.

Given that, you need a new set. Preferably more durable ones that won't be destroyed in the first explosion.

Ask your helpful god for advice on this.

>>4715822
Well, it seems to have stopped leaking.

>>4715873
Well shit. That can't be good. Ring up Satan.

>>4715873
We should probably open up a portal to the shadow realm and go buy another one.

Newfag here, quick questions... why is it called dorf quest when you play a faerie, and why are you supposed to destroy the ley lines?

>>4715890
We alternate between the main characters.

>>4715890
He was originally with the Dorf. And we only play him half the time, the other half we play the Dorf. And we played the Dorf first so it's called Dorf Quest. We destroy leylines because Satan needs them destroyed to turn shit crazy.

>>4715873

That's got to be unbearably itchy.

>>4715913
>half the time
Well, about a third, we have Aldwinside too.

Sometimes the other characters are under control as well.

>>4715836
>>4715852
>>4715861
>>4715864
>Hey Satan, why is my arm leaking?
"I-i-its quite-ite s-simple. I hav-av-ave giv-iven shadows m-m-mass."


[Also, its easier to think of New Satan's voice as a broken record, where he very quickly repeats random sounds rapidly, rather than a true stutter. It makes "hav-av-ave" a lot easier to think about how to pronounce.]

>>4715934
Well, yeah, but I said half because it's going to BE half soon what with Aldwin side ending.

>>4715940
Test this by making a water melon out of shadows then smashing it with a hammer made of shadows.

>>4715940
I....
But....
Surely this is seriously damaging the earth.

On the other hand, you abilities are probablly now even more awesome. Test them out. Also ask what happened to Elf Moon.

>>4715940
Are you just screwing around with your new found powers?

>>4715940
Well... that's nice. Ask him how to get the gauntlets replaced or fixed up, to better accomplish his tasks with.

I'm starting to think that Satan might be a bad guy.

>>4715940
Oh god he just all of physics.

THE WHOLE THING.

Shadows are the absence of light! He made NOTHING weigh something.

We're fucked.

>>4715942
>Aldwin side ending
wat

>>4715968
>Satan might be a bad guy.
lies and trickery

>>4715979
Yeah. Gnome wants to wrap up the loose ends like Finlay and stuff because Aldwin is getting really detached from the other two stories.

>>4715971
I think its just the magical shadow powers he gave mass, not all the regular stuff.

Or rather, I hope it is...

Does this mean we can do something similar to shadow creatures?

>>4715967
>Can you get me a new gauntlet or something?
"Y-y-you should take-ake off your g-g-g-gauntlet-et, if you d-d-d-don't wa-want your ar-arm to explod-d-d-de. Th-the link t-t-to the shad-ad-adow play-ay-ane keeps giv-iving y-you shadow-ow-ows."

>>4716044
>explode
I knew it.

>>4716044
Well, take off the gauntlet then. Lets hope Satan knows what's good for us.

>>4716044
Keep the gauntlet on. Explosions are cool, and arms are replaceable.

Does Queen Arialla have a set list of spells or does she know all of them?

>hope Satan knows what's good for us.

Sure. Sounds great.

Wait, does this mean that every shadar-kai in this world will have their arm explode?

I forget, whats the story with his gauntlet? Does he need it for his shadow powers or what?

>>4716070
>arms are replaceable
Yes, but if you lose both this arm, you lose your Shadar Kai link to the plane of shadows... and with it all of your shadow powers.

You quickly remove the gauntlet, and a heavy mass of shadow billows forth.

>>4716074
She seems to have an affinity for Lightning spells. All of her powers revolve around them.

>>4716114
Looks like sidequest time.

>>4716114
Well shit. Stick something else on your arm to see if it stops some of the shadow fog.

>>4716114
Well now we're back to being normal. We need new power!

Is it pouring out infinitely?

>>4716106
Shadar Kai have a continuous pull to the plane of shadow. To keep them outside of it, they need these special gauntlets to eliminate the pull.

...For some reason, you don't feel that pull right now. Maybe whatever Satan did removed the Shadar Kai curse? Well, whatever. If the pull isn't there, you don't need the gauntlet.

>>4715957
>Test new powers by smashing shadow watermelon with shadow hammer

>>4716114
Ask Satan for an alternate way to attain the power of shadows, with decidedly less exploding on his part.

>>4716180

>shadow watermelon

OH LAWDY

>>4716180
>>4716181
Oh well nevermind, this works out pretty well.

Now that the crisis is averted, team up with your queen to help break in that librarian.

Try to make something living out of shadows.

>>4716179
Yes, it is pouring out infinitely. This will be... interesting.

>>4716234
Ask Arialla if she has any ideas.

>>4716234
Make a shadow sculpture.

>>4716234

Violate second law of thermodynamics, create perpetual motion machine, rule world through shadowy might.

>>4716244
>of a penis

>>4716234
Maybe Arialla should stay a bit further away, eh?

>>4716234

Kill new satan, free old Satan, Get Old Satan's ultimate Weapon Bow, go on Leyline killing spree.

>>4716234

Form tentacles.

>>4716214
>>4716244
>Play god

>>4716234
tentacle shadow sex. i know i'll be ignored, but we were all thinking it. and if you weren't before, you are now.

>>4716271

D'aww, it's a puppy!

>>4716234
Use shadows to sexily assault harem.

>>4716271
Definitely no way that could turn out to be dangerous.

>>4716271

Oh god, Shadow-Doobies

Make sure whatever you're making has tentacles.

Perhaps we should stop wasting time and start to do something about this thing? Y'know, before Arialla gets consumed by it or something?

Use Shadows
Create Shadow Xom
Lord of all things unXomish.

>>4716295
She'll be fine.

>>4716294
You create your very own creature! Determined to give it some never before heard of awkward name, you call it an Illithid.

>>4716321
Well there's no way this could ever end badly.

>>4716271
We need some way to stem the flow of this. without, you know, exploding.

By the way, be sure that we keep the gauntlet someplace handy, it might be important later...

>>4716321
Looks kinda like a shadow cthulhu. Stick some wings on it.

>>4716321
Looks like Djinn...

You make him a friend.

>>4716345
Djinni is pure black, this one is a little transparent.

>>4716354
So I assume we're going to make an entire army of shadow illithids now? We do have an infinite amount of shadows, and this is one way to use it.

Could we send them after the Leylines?

Let's find out from Satan if we could change the gauntlets so that they act as a valve to hold back the shadows when we don't need them.

Gnome is trying to play Weaver. Bad Gnome! Be original!

>>4716366
But we already have an army of nagas.

>>4716373
Why can't we have more? Besides, if we lose the shadow Illithids, we can just make more. Naga are for our harem.

>>4716354
You know what you must do.
CREATE AN ARMY. DESTROY BEARDBEARD.
Also, laugh. Laugh and never stop.
Also traumatize the shit out of Krann.

Enough playing god! Let's name one Jack and one Jill and find a way to clean up this mess!

>>4716384
Lets have our new tentacle minions help us train librarian naga

>>4716373
speaking of which, maybe we could make something... sexy?

While making our army or playing with our shadow leaking arm ask Satan if we can make the gauntlet into a valve or something.

>>4716368
Hey, don't spoil that for me. I haven't read it yet. I only found out about it 20 minutes before I started tonight's DQ.

>>4716366
>Make an infinite army of Illithids.
Some of them seem to start going off to do things on their own.

>>4716402
You give some of the illithids boobs. Mmmm. Arialla laughs at you.

I wonder is Presley is affected by this too.

>>4716435
We can't craft these things forever! And because shadows now have mass we'll eventually drown! Drown in shadows! We need to fix this. Now.

>>4716439

>>4716435
>do things on their own.
fuck, if we can't control them they are worthless. Reign them in or destroy them, and for gods sakes wind a way to stem the tide of darkness.

I mean it's all fun now, but were going to wake up in a room full of heavy, soupy darkness every night.

>>4716435
Can you actually sense where your minions are, or do they just kinda disappear when you loose sight of them?

>>4716435
Use some shadows to give her some enjoyable tentacle sexings.

Can Arialla still sense Beardbeard?

OK, so we seem to get new powers from Satan based on what we destroy so he can refabricate it to help our purpose. Give us a run down of what the remaining object do/influence so we know what one we want to change.

>>4716465
Once you make them, they are their own entity. You have no mindlink or control over them. Heck, you aren't even sure how they live or anything.

>>4716475
>>4716464
You command one of your Illithid to tentacle rape Arialla. She giggles with joy. Then you tell the rest of them to come help you find a way to lessen the flow of shadow.

>>4716502
No, she can't. She could sense him before because his leg was from the Tree of Life. That leg disintegrated a while ago.

>>4716504
Mushroom of Death: Governs how death works.
Belt of Restraint: Governs how gravity works.
Ragdoll of Freedom: Governs how rebellion works.
Book of Displacement: Governs how when you misplace something you can never find it until someone else helps you.

Hey... all the other leylines have their counterparts except the book of displacement. I sense this is important.

>>4716525
Let's go kill the Mushroom of Death, so we'll be immortal

>>4716525
Go break the book of displacement.
I hate when that kind of thing happens to me.
Oh, you should probably ask Satan where it is or something.

>>4716525
So destroying the book of displacement would make everything cursed(cannot be gotten rid of without help)?

Let's go book burning WOOOOO!

>>4716577
Can we fix our fucking arm first or are we just going to leave a trail of shadow everywhere?

>>4716594
I don't see anything wrong with that, unless Xom comes along and does something crazy with them.

>>4716527
>>4716548
>>4716560
You decide to ask Satan where the Book of Displacement is.


...Oh sweet irony.

>>4716606
Xom finds this hilarious!

>>4716606
"Where was the last place you saw it in?"

>>4716594

That can wait.

>>4716605
Oh fuck, don't go after Beardbeard until we have this shadow thing taken care of.

>>4716617
>Where was the last place you saw it?
"W-w-will you help-elp m-me find i-i-it the-then?"

>>4716606

So we need to find someone who can help us find it, and it should just pop out of nowhere in theory right?

>>4716633
"Uh-huh. Would be cool if you could fix this shadow thing a bit, though."

>>4716643
"A-and tha-tha-that is how y-y-you find-d the book of display-ay-acement."

>>4716663
RRRRREEEEAAAAADDDDD IIIIIITTTTTT

>>4716663
Everybody golf clap.

>>4716663
That was easy.

>>4716663

So... set it on fire.

Wonderful. We've replaced Satan with Max Headroom

Read it

>>4716605
There's something wrong with that?

Set it on fire or read it. Reading it will probably give us the locations to every lost treasure, left sock, and various other knick knacks. But setting it on fire is just good fun. Decisions decisions.

Yah. Read.

Max Satan to the MAX!

Set it on fire and then read it as it burns! BRILLIANT!

>>4716720
Oh, I know! Let's set it on fire, AND THEN READ IT WHILE IT'S BURNING!

It's the best of both worlds!

>>4716666
>Read it
Are you sure, Satan? This cover looks kinda furry...

>>4716748
BWAHAHAHA

>>4716748
Uh ...

>>4716748
Wait... Who's that guy on the cover who looks like Xom?
Is there something he should tell us?

INCOMING MIRROR UNIVERSE CROSSOVER QUEST!

>>4716748
Oh you kids these days.

BURN IT TO HELL

>>4716748
DO
>>4716737
>>4716745

What do we care if it's furry? We have a harem of snake girls. Read.

OPEN IT! BRING RUBY HERE!

"Reading is fundamental"
READREADREADREADREAD ...

>>4716748
I think it'd be good for you to read it first. Who knows what you might learn?

>>4716683
>>4716720
>>4716737
>>4716745
You set the book ablaze. Somehow. We will ignore the plot hole of lacking any sort of matches, pyrokinesis, or flint and steel, and just light the book up.

It was probably some boring, cheesy story anyway.

...It seems your shadowstuff disintegrates on contact with fire.

>>4716810
Hey, your shadow's in your shadow. Make it absorb some, watch it get bigger.

>>4716810
Maybe we could make some +fire snake leather gloves+

>>4716810
So I think the solution to our infinitely dripping shadow stuff problem is obvious.

SET YOUR ARM ON FIRE.

*GAH*

Ye olde literatophobe!

:(

>>4716842
DO IT FAGGOT

DO IT

>>4716842
>SET YOUR ARM ON FIRE!

You think this might have been one of your better ideas. It hurts less than that gauntlet ever did.

Whatever. Harem still around?

Oh, wait, no. No. Fire spreads.

Yup, this was a bad idea.

>>4716869
...pain aside, this seems like a hazardous solution. Yeah the gauntlet hurt, but the arm might just burn away. That's not even considering what it will do to other people and your clothing and surroundings.

>>4716881
Run around screaming. I'm sure that will put the fire out.

>>4716869
Wouldn't that be a bad thing? I mean, you like pain. You want more pain.

>>4716881
FUCKING PUSSY

CONTROL THE FIRE WITH YE MIND

>>4716886
Yah. But instead of the traditional after action burning sensation this time we can get the drop on them!

So .. about that harem!

>>4716881
WATER! Or wrap it in something, just put the dam thing out already.

>>4716810
It seems not much of a stretch for Ariallas lightning magic to spark a fire up.

JAM YOUR ARM THROUGH ONE OF YOUR CREATIONS TO SNUFF IT OUT!

>>4716881
Stick some more mud on it. It worked nicely last time.

>>4716897
BEND THE SPOON ASSHOLE

BEND THE SPOON

>>4716902
>It seems not much of a stretch for Ariallas lightning magic to spark a fire up.
Its not, but she's... busy. Elsewhere. Naked.

Also AAAAAAAH. AAAAAGH FUCK THIS WAS A DUMB IDEA FUCK.

>>4716903

this

So are weakness is being on fire.

>>4716927
USE THE MUD LUKE!

STOP! DROP! ROLL!

Embrace stuff

>>4716881
Fucking hell. Ask satan to make shadows not flammable for a minute or something.

>>4716927
Somewhere, Xom is laughing his ass off.

>>4716927
"SATAN GIVE ME A HAND HERE!"

>>4716931
>INFECT ALL YOUR HORRIBLE BURN WOUNDS LUKE!

>>4716927
Huh, they're mimicking you. In the mean time, roll around in some mud or dirt or something.

>>4716932
>>4716931
>>4716943
>>4716945
You find some dirt and roll around, trying to remove the firey death you inflicted upon yourself. Somehow, it works.

Your satan arm recovers smoothly and without issue. The rest of your body hates you forever.

You decide to stop having good ideas.

Garrelf has 3 points in logic. You'd think that would prevent him from doing this.

>>4716962
Graft shadow skin onto yourself.

>>4716963
well it did work for a few seconds, not totally dumb.

Guess now we're not up to the harem thing.

Go find some ( chasteual )healin'

>>4716962
Huh, seems the shadow flow stopped, for a while at least.

Just need to get some healing magic then. FETCH THE HAREM NURSE! (I'm assuming she knows healing magic?)

>>4716927
oh god, I laughed out loud for the first time in... YEARS on the internet.

jesus christ gnome, good show.

>>4716969
...That worked pleasantly. Only one of your Illithid is still around, however.

>>4716963
Honestly, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

>>4716962
Ok he's fine now. Sorta. Let's see how Arialla is doing! :D

>>4717014
Garrelf looks like a ninja. He needs some shadow weeaboo weapons.

>>4717014
Hmmm.... What to name him? How about Cthulhu.

Lets go find that slut Arialla and get heals

Go look for Arialla and Krann. If you find Krann first, ask for healing.

Yeah lets go find Krann.

Walk into the nearest forest vomiting shadows.

>>4716981
>>4716984
>>4716992
>>4717035
You bring Cthulhu with you to go see Krann, to see if she can't fix your skin to be normal again.

As you approach, however, Krann screams. "NONONONONONONO!"

Garrelf: "Oh come on, I haven't even traumatized you yet..."

Krann: "NONONO! NO TENTACLES! NONONONONO!"

I... wait, where did the rest of them go?

>>4717084
I'm that guy with a fetish in akward and unpleasant unflowerings. Hi again. this is just... GREAT for me.

>>4717084
Have Cthulu suck those tentacles back into his head for a few minutes.

>>4717096
You really know how to spice up a thread.

>>4717084
She wants tentacles. Better give her some!

>>4717084
"Help me with healing my skin, and no tentacles. Deal?"

>>4717096
Oh god I just bursted out laughing. I say we continue just for you.

>>4717089
They realized they can always go to Buzzardloved if they want to see elves on fire.

>>4717104
>>4717112
>>4717117
>"Help me with healing my skin, and no tentacles. Deal?"
"YES SIR!"

Cthulhu kindly retracts his tentacles for the nice lady.

Have Cthulhu wait outside.

we have wrapped ourselves in shadow, try to sprout tentacles.

Go talk to Satan about the book and any potential rewards for burning it

>>4717147
We're a bastard. Do it anyway.

>>4717147
looks like our arm is acting up again.

Maybe we could try freezing it. I mean, if setting it on fire didn't work, then obviously doing the polar opposite of setting it one fire must work, right?

>>4717111
>>4717119
How positively ~decadent~. It would be marvelous if we continued.

>>4717178
now now, we may be a bastard but we are an Honorable bastard, however we haven't specified the Duration of the no-tentacles, with the deal as stated it could be interpreted as no tentacles while she heals us up.

>>4717178
>>4717167
Nah, let's keep our word. And when she heals us, we give her a nice kiss on the cheek.

Then have her go check on Arialla.

>>4717203
If we had fire resistance, it wouldn't be so bad.

>>4717178
I would like a medical professional who ISN'T traumatized.

>>4717203
It would be better if we had some way to make it so that we could, you know, control the flow of the stuff. Just letting it drip everywhere is annoying. But being able to shape shadow minions on command would be SWEET.

>>4717214

Yes. Give tentacles after healing.

>>4717162
>>4717178
>>4717214
>Sprout tentacles
>tentacle rape her anyway
Not until after she finishes patching up your skin. Gotta make sure you keep your dashing good looks.

>>4717214
Either way is hilarious.
>>4717223
But that's not traumatizing...

The ground beneath both of you should be covered in shadows by the time she finishes.

>>4717249
you do remember what arialla is doing right?

Lets go check on Arialla, but bring Krann with you.

>>4717266
Oh yeah... you way's good too then.

Also thread is over 200 posts.

>>4717248

Those curls....

If Beardbeard is Khorne and Garrelf is Slaanesh, then who are the other two chaos gods?

>>4717223
>Kiss on the cheek
"Thanks, Krann. You're such a dear. Would you go check on my wife for me?"

Garrelf is the master of Stockholm Syndrome. Maybe he should write a book on it.

>>4717248
I think it would be better to subvert, rather than go back on what we said.

>>4717248
When she's done, walk away saying "yes...I said no TENTACLES, didn't I?" then cackle manically.

Then don't do anything to her for a while.

Far more traumatizing than actually doing anything.

>>4717307
Finlay is Tzheentch, clearly.

>>4717317
>Garrelf is the master of Stockholm Syndrome. Maybe he should write a book on it.

I would read that book.

>>4717317
Hows the arm?

>>4717317
You know, this is just getting better. First it was awkward and painful, and it's now entering the territory of MINDFUCKING. I'm entering new plateaus of eroticism here

>>4717317
All you did was kiss her and she's still blushing. What won't traumatize her?

>>4717325
Nah the fun starts when she gets to Arialla. And be sure we follow close behind.

Make a shadow replicate of Beardbeard, then rip it in half while laughing maniacally.

>>4717307
Tzeentch pictured.

New thread: >>4717369

>>4717367
No, make shadow replicas of the naga. Tell them to act like her as much as possible.