Drink a potion of polymorph and become a dorf.

I'm already not a Dorf.
Never have I been one.
I don't think I understand the premise.

inb4 the little girl.

act life a dwarf regardless. I'll just say I was orphaned by my origional race and was raised by dorfs.

>>4882294
oh man.
thanks for that laugh /tg/

i dunno what id be, id need some thought.
maybe some kind of scummy marksman.
and i mean scummy asin, trampish, not as in, a criminal.

>What will you be?

the dorfiest non-dorf that ever dorfed

>>4882324
Alright. Let's see you do that as A LITTLE ELF GIRL IN A DRESS.

>>4882382
you know we are gonna make her the dorfiest thing that ever dorfed.
you cant stop us from making her a drunk, strong, prosthetic beard wearing, cross dressing, awesome dorf wannabe

>>4882382
I'm fapping already

in fact as the little elf that is my first action

>>4882412
Without a penis, the action is awkward and not particularly stimulating, but she tries anyway.

Cast lightning bolt.

Go try and find a quest. That's what you do in fantasy worlds: find a quest and go adventuring.

Inventory and spell list check.

>>4882504
Harnessing the elemental forces of nature itself, a lightning bolt arcs through the trees in a spectacular, yet pointless display.

CONCENTRATE ON GROWING A BEARD. SPEND AS LONG AS NECESSARY.

Cast flight and observe the surrounding area.

i cast power word: drunk on myself

>>4882544
Distracted by your fapping and random displays of magical prowess, you've forgotten that your father's trade caravan leaves for the Dorf Fortress of Gearthundered this morning.

Perhaps tagging along would be an interesting change of scenery.

>>4882635
YES!
tag along, and enter fort, refuse to leave.
but that is for later...
right now, remove these wafery elf garments and lok for some dorfy looking gear, search for some ginger hair dye in dads caravan

>>4882635
That sounds good too.

>>4882411

Already done.

grow a penis
OR
find a girdle of m/f

>>4882762
>find a girdle of m/f

You're an elf - will it really matter?

>>4882635

But suddenly I remembered why I was secluded from the caravan to begin with. I am in my rebellious teenage years, you see, and my father has shown great disapproval for both my interest in magic and my most recent love interest. I'm considering running ahead of the caravan to the fortress to warn the dwarves that a gang of raiders, disguised as simple merchants, are headed their way with ill intent.

>>4882779
find girdle of dorf/elf

Find a sergal and your superpowered mom to pal around and fight zombies and robots with.

Oh wait...

what's the elf's attributes?
that's something we need to know first

>>4882653
>>4882656
You ask your father if you can come along.

"I don't know... Those damned dwarves are a bunch of violent, unwashed drunks. It's no place for you to be."

>>4882818
Joanquest is NEVER COMING BACK.

;_;

>>4882855
tell him you want to be a dwarf

>>4882855
point out you havnt washed in a week either, and have been secretly supping mothers wine.
you will be fine....

This art style looks awfully familiar...

>>4882855
Say in sweet young voice: "I'll be fine, I'll be fine, don't worry about me daddy"

>>4882888
It's mspaint, of course it looks familiar.

tell dad I want to make half elf babies with the dorfs

>>4882855

Feign fear and openly reconsider your request. Travel ahead of the caravan without your father's permission or notice.

>>4882280
Start as barbarian.
Become spellcaster.
Spend 1.9 skill points on becoming semiliterate.
Purposefully misspell spells. Cast polymorph self until you accidentally cast polydorf self.
enjoy your being TWICE the dwarf you were!

>>4882280
I never play as dorfs because they are boring, and one dimensional.

OI LADS I HAVE A BEARD LOOK AT ME BEARD AXE HAMMER IS WHAT I CALL IT LETS KILL GOBLINS/ORCS/WHAT HAVE YOU AND GET MONEY FOR ALE AND WENCHES

ALSO WE ARE ALL BLACKSMITHS AND BREWERS

ALL OF US

EVERY SINGLE ONE.

>>4882925

My dorf is a bald (head and chin) Bow bard, just because he can be.

Bald bow bard.

>>4882925
gay

>>4882896
>Say in sweet young voice: "I'll be fine, I'll be fine, don't worry about me daddy"

"Fine... but don't wander from the caravan. Those dwarves seem to enjoy flipping out and killing elves at random."

>>4883031
hop on the cart.
look for some rough materials from which to fashion some dwarf clothing.
is there any rough grass around we could use for a beard?

I will be the sluttiest goblin.

Slow AND Railroad.

Both at the same time.

>>4883031
Act slightly surprised at what he says, but keep insisting and attempting to annul his fears.

> :3

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

Half-Dorf

>>4883031
Power of :3 and boobs

What's in the wagon?

Bugbear. I'll rape barmaids, then eat the remains.

I use my naive father's belief that I am a sweet, innocent, starry-eyed little girl to my advantage and search the caravan for things to steal while he's not looking closely enough.

>>4883069
You assure your father that you'll be fine. What could a few stubby mole-people do anyway?

I don't play dwarves. ._.

Favorite role is playing a human male, usually some mix of classes to make a light-footed, speedy "Come out of nowhere and stab you like nine thousand times" sort of guy.

IRL I'm a half-nerd; I do nerdy shit, but have friends who I interact with that are complete non-nerds.

>>4883145
That wagon looks awfully familliar...

Better stay away from dark caves.

I want to say "Hi", very innocently, to some of the Dwarves on the cart...

You don't get to be a dorf! The whole point of this is to have a quest that doesn't involve being an axe wielding midget! If you don't stop trying to be a dorf, the whole thing will be cut short! KEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Seriously.

>>4883231
I don't care this is the first RPG I've played in a while

>>4883231
no it wont knoll.
OP practically dared us to do this, he brought it upon himself.
he even railroaded us to a dwarf fortress!

>>4883155
Halflings are better for that. Humans are good for the "does everything" classes.

>>4883231

You're just railroading the whole thing anyway. Not much point in giving input if you're just going to accept the suggestions you were going to take anyway, especially since we don't know which posts are just you pushing your own plot along.

I'd be a short-ish magic wielding changeling, searching to enhance my arcane knowledge. Also, I'd be able to change into a dorf, among other things.

>>4882382
>>4882485
>>4882559
>>4882635
>>4882855
>>4883031
>>4883145
proceed.jpg

>>4883270


I'm not OP, but these are all my posts:

>>4883244
>>4883225
>>4883069
>>4882958
>>4882896
>>4882838
>>4882762

In case the OP is accused of railroading

>>4883248
But Anon, I am the OP! Search your heart, you know it to be true.

I just avoided using a TRIPcode, I didn't want it to be a STUMBLING block, but now the whole thing FALLEN into chaos! KEHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anyway, back to the story. I don't want to railroad but I've never done this before and we need a set up to get into some action! OH GOD, I AM NOT GOOD AT PLANNING!
I'M CHAOTIC EVIL FOR YEENOGHU'S SAKE!

>>4883327

You can take off-the-wall suggestions and keep things interesting. You're a drawfag, improvise. Didn't the thespians ever teach you? It's Yes, And!

Now search your daddy's cart for something to lift. You're a vain little elfish waif, there's got to be something in there that'll appeal to your vanity.

In fact, who all is in the caravan, anyway?

oh... so we have t.. NOT be a dwarf.
i thought it was a dare, for us to make something undwarfy as dwarfy as we could, like a challenge.
so.. are we upposed to.. frolic in the grass?
paint our nails? braid our hair?
little elf girl quest doesent seem like much fun.... you have to make something happen, gnoll.

>>4883372

We're trying, but he doesn't seem to know where he wanted to go with this, and he's not taking suggestions that are in any way out of the ordinary.

>>4883372
I think we should braid our hair.

>>4883404
no way man!
DWARVES braid their beards! why would we want to be anything like that uncouth filth!?
certainly not in THIS quest.
i say we make daisy chains and wear them like a big tiara.
then frolic.

>>4883383
I'm trying not to jump into things for no reason. She doesn't have Beardbeards 0 logic score.

>>4883429

You're trying too hard. Chill out, you're on /tg/. You'd be surprised how well things turn out when you're willing to forfeit a degree of control.

Explain what rules/game/character we are playing and what the fucking stats are!

>>4883444
Alright then. Logic is out the window. Let's get chaotic!
The caravan consists of your father, the merchant Haldamir and a contingent of guards. In the back of the wagon is a variety of things for trading with the Dorfs.

>>4883429
She nags her daddy for a pet.

I like halflings and before 4E gnomes. And the first one of you fuckers that suggests I check the MM should shut the fuck up, gnomes ARE NOT fey that can disappear/what the fuck ever that gay at will racial is at will. Gnomes are the inventive masters of impracticality and jokes of the subterranean world. Cousin to the dwarf and masters of invention and magic. Gnomes in 3.5 were made of win. Gnomes in 4E are gay prancing faries. GIVE ME BACK MY GNOMES!

so guys.. are we going to play out the dream of being the little girl?
or are we going to dorf it up?
gnoll says logic is out the window.

>>4883504
dorf

we're not /a/, after all.

Sweetly, I chat idly to the guards, about young girl things such as flowers, and nature

>>4883497
So gnomes in 4E are spriggans?

>>4883497
here.

Its worth mentioning that besides the whole ritual casting shit and no wizard only spells that aren't directly offensive, and the general lack of illusions (seriously, magic needed a tone down, but what the shit guys?) Gnomes are my only real complaint with 4E

Here's your heroine/victim. The complete antithesis of Beardbeard, Alebeard and any other Beards.

We still need an elfy name here.

>>4883485
Search the things for delicious treats to eat.

>>4883532
Elfy Name...

Alwyre Treehugger?

>>4883532
Slutsword Magicarrow.

im personally going for the angle of a little elf girl who just finds dwarves fascinating.
she loves them, wants to know more about them, if she has to dress and act like tem to get in their good books she will, but shed prefer to be frolicking, maybe even having little girly outbursts while in dorven disguise

>>4883532
Minwen Melloneth

>>4883532
colonthree le'frolique

>>4883545
dwarfaboo.

>>4883539
This. We must fatten her up to have DEM HIPS.

>>4883532
Moonbloom Sparklelight nicknamed "Moony"

Goldblossom Starbreeze Lyylwlmynythllwyllyn

>>4883560
exactly what im aiming for.
kind of like everyone on /tg/ itself...but we are a little girl instead of a nerd.
could be interesting, could be really shit.
lets roll!

>>4883532
So we're playing the storyteller system then?

>>4883577

This is pretty elfy.

Beardbeard is dwarfly. Elfy would be... Treemoon? Moontree? Maybe Moonleaf?

Whatever it is, it's got to have "moon". And some allusion to trees.

>>4883532
Elfy Elfina?

>>4883600

Doesn't get more elfy than Feanor

>>4883600

She needs a first name, too. Some relentlessly pretty girly-name.

Sapphire Moonleaf?

>>4883627

I like it.

>>4883626

Ahh, Feanor. The only elf a dorf can respect. Mostly because he's got the most bling.

NEXT INSTRUCTION FOR QUEST: Try to be more like Feanor. It is the next step to becoming a dorf.

>>4883600
It doesn't need moon, and Treeleaf is a perfectly elvish sounding cleche of a last name.

Gnoll... you are pretty slow.
pick a name from the choices and lets have it.

>>4883627
>Sapphire
>A kind of gemstone

Fie

Also, this
>>4883571

Moonsun Sunmoon

Drizzt Do'Urden would be a good name

DID SOMEONE SAY GNOLLBARD?
Oh wait...just a gnoll.
OOH, a QUEST you say?
I'll endeavor to help out!

>>4883644
I think we should seduce a manly elf who is friends with a dorfy dwarf then make them mortal enemies.

>>4883600
Moonleaf really speaks to me as a good elvish name.

>>4883571
Anyway, Moonleaf sneaks into a crate marked food and finds a pile of odd purple mushrooms. They look quite plump.

First I will be Estellarion Moonleaf, the most fey elf to ever compose an ode to a single leaf and caper about in moonlit groves.

BUT THEN I'LL REALIZE HOW FUCKING GAY THat SHIT IS AND BECOME URTAX MURDERTREE, THE AXE-CHUCKING, ORC-RAPING TERROR ELF WITH A TORSO FULL OF ROTGUT WHISKEY AND A HEAD BURSTING WITH BESERKER RAGE!

>>4883578

MORE APOSTROPHES. MORE I SAY.

>>4883694
They are icky, and most unbeffiting of your ELF TASTES. I say you should put them back, and look for some ELF FOODSTUFFS. (like PEOPLE)

>>4883694
I untie my belt, combining it with the plump helmet in order to fashion a makeshift strap-on.

And then start searching for some menacing spikes.

>>4883694
Look in the barrels, they might contain sunshine.

>>4883694
Wear one as a helmet.

>>4883694
your father discovers you fucking around with the mushrooms and gets really pissy.

I wish to throw one of the mushrooms at the guards, saying "Oops! I missed my mouth :O"

>>4883694

Let the Feanor within find expression! Use these plump hatlike things with whatever else is handy to forge an artifact of wonder... then get into a foamy berseker rage at any prospect of someone taking it from you!

>>4883747
No wait, scratch that, use it to masturbate.

>>4883694
no, no.
my intense knowledge of dwares say they would not eat this.
so neither shall i, search more barrels, looking for anything dwarfy that i could wonder at

>>4883694
also, we must find you something to do on the way there.
I propose we find some INSTRUMENTS or WEAPONS to play with.

Put down the MUSHROOM and look for an instrument/weapon,
maybe a combination of both like a DRUM and a CLUB.

>>4883718
Upon tasting the mushroom (mostly for fanservice reasons) She finds it to be musty and bitter. No good for eating at all.

>Any age, race and gender is an option OTHER THAN a dorf.

I wish to be the little elven girl.

>>4883796
We did warn her. But the picture is saved none the less.
Now, investigate the OTHER barrels. Maybe father is bringing some BETTER goods to these TREEKILLING mongrels.

Judging by our stats, we are no fighter, I hope we can rely on our WITS more.
Oh how delightful.

Wear one of those pots on your head as a helm. Pick up one of those swords.

Run outside yelling, " I'M AN ADVENTURER!"

>>4883796
Do irrational elven things, like going outside beneath the glare of the hated sun, and not burning trees.

>>4883864
We can also use magic since we're an elf.

>>4883824
There's a large keg full of some kind of fluid...
And suddenly arrows.

>>4883864
Fuck wits, did you see that lightning bolt we pulled out of fucking nowhere (after building up a charge by attempting to fap without the proper equipment)? You don't need street smarts when you have a high CHA score and levels in Sorceror!

I want to be a 12 year old human female.
Or any age of human female.
Or any female of age of any race.
I just want to be a woman so badly ;_;

>>4883892
Don't care. Eat the mushroom. DEM HIPS

>>4883892
Arrows are NOT a good thing.
Grab a POT or PAN.
Look out the FRONT of the CART

What's it looking like outside?

>>4883892
its obviously alcohol.
drink as much as you can in 3 of you tiny girlish mouthfulas and run like the clappers out of this wagon.
look for a big strong elven [lol] guard to help you from the hail of arrows.

>>4883892
Create magical repulsion field.

Hide behind the keg, then peek to see where arrows came from

1.Drink Ale
2.Run Away
3. Find Help

>>4883906
I second this as long as DEM TITTIES

>>4883892
Booze is a-spilling! DON'T LET IT BE RUINED ON THE WAGON FLOOR, CATCH IT IN YOUR ELF-MANDIBLES!

DRINK BOOZE AND CHOW ON THEM SHRROOOOMMMS
LETS GET THIS HIGH GOAN

Confuse the attackers with a piercing elven yodel!

Roll BARREL out back of WAGON. Cast FIREBALL at BARREL once it is at a safe distance.

>>4883910
Goblin raiders have attacked the caravan! Moonleaf's father is slumped in his seat and the few remaining guards struggle with the horde of greenskins.

>>4883973
Hide in barrel of ale.

>>4883973
CURSES! AN AMBUSH!
This is no place for our INTELLECT!
Unless...I know!
We'll RUN AWAY!
Who KNOWS what goblins do to their CAPTURED.

("This is the part where you run away.")

>>4883973
Drink ale, eat shrooms. THIS PLAN CANT FAIL

>>4884010
Also, forgot to mention. While doing so, wait for the actual hero to show up and slay all the bad guys. -4 str and all

>>4883973
If we have any levels in cleric, heal father then run like hells.

I SAID I confuse them with a PIERCING ELVEN YODEL!

>>4883973

Goblins have no respect for nature, leaving our father slumped like that.
We have to ensure the natural balance is kept.
It is our elven duty to eat his corpse.

>>4884028
I believe they have the appropiate means to SILENCE any MUSECRAFTING we might try, before it can take effect! ARROWS are deadly to our close ranged SONIC ATTACK.

>>4883973
Drink ale, eat shrooms, get fat.

>>4883973
Lightning Bolt those greenskin bastards.

>>4884051
I second this, dem hips etcetcetc

>>4884049
Then I use an INTERPRETIVE DANCE

Cast AAM YOG TAAR or AAM YOG SPACIUM until out of mana. If all else fails cast KAL-LOR.

>>4884010
>>4883942
>>4883929
>>4883922
>>4883914
The sudden urge to drink from the random barrel overwhelms her and she chugs as only a elf can, in tiny sips.

>>4883973

Kill them with fi-wait, you're in a forest.

Use ice! ICE!

>>4884076
you forgot the shrooooms! c'mon, eat the shrooms, its time to get high

>>4884076

Roll a Fort save! Can her waify Elven physiology handle it?

Create some sort of evil spirit from the alcohol then light it on fire.

FIND A WEAPON!
KILL GOBLINS!
AVENGE FATHER!

>>4884088
Even I know that those aren't THOSE kind of SHROOMS.
>>4884076
CURSES! A BETRAYAL OF LOGIC!
I hope we can ESCAPE soon.

>>4884076
http://zip.4chan.org/v/src/1245044452311.jpg
Eat the mushroom.

Who's brilliant idea was this? Her frail elven constitution is no match for the powerful Dorfen spirits.

Status: Severely Inebriated.

>>4884076
Hide in the barrel this is no time for substance abuse.

>>4884076

Use your spells and kill the goblins.

USE DRUNKEN SPELLCASTING! KILL GOBLINS!

>>4884170

1. Hide in barrel.
2. BARREL ROLL THOSE MOFOS. +5 Barrel of Smiting Fury, yes?

>>4884169
This can only be cured by eating the mushrooms.

Stumble around into some gobwins.

East mushrooms. Must become stocky.

>>4884211

I prefer West mushrooms, myself.

>>4884169
Hmm. Theres go our Int score.
Hide under the MUSHROOMS.

>>4884169
DRUNKCASTING MODE ACTIVATED. WEAPON SYSTEMS ARMED.

eh
SHROOMS GET HIGH CAST SOME SPELLS N SHIT

Area effect spells, posthaste! And if that's alcohol, it might burn. So spill the remainder towards the foes and LIGHT IT AFLAME WITH MAGIC POWAH

>>4884169

Douse mushrooms with alcohol, zap with lightning bolt, fling resulting flaming mushroom at a goblin.

>>4884244
If we eat shroowms we will only think we are casting high levels spells.

Trip on a rock and land on a cock!

feign death with inebriated sleep!

>>4884199
>>4884119
>>4884088
>>4884051

The battle rages outside. Moonleaf crams her face with Plump Helmets. IT ALL MAKES PERFECT SENSE!

>>4884274

God, why.

Okay, do we have any ranks in Firespitting? Spit alcohol and ignite with electric bolts for medieval flamethrower get.

This is too silly for me.

>>4884274
Oh god yes. I abstain from voting to celebrate this victory for all drug addicts everywhere

>>4884274
We should hide at least now we won't feel guilty.

>>4884274
No! We're in trouble now! We're taking TOO LONG! Quickly, Try and peek out back, to see if we can ESCAPE

SPELLS! BUFFS! SOMETHING, ANYTHING

>>4884318
And don't forget to DUAL WIELD POTS and PANS

>>4884274
Continue gorging self till DEM HIPS and DEM TITTIES

>>4884274
Bitch better swallow.

SHROOM ON HEAD

>>4884274
quit bawwwing and get the fuck outta there,

Hide in barrel, sneak past goblins a la Solid Snake.

Hide one of in the wagon's crates or barrels!

Or at least search for something which may be of use.

>>4884274
After having prepared your body with beer and your mind with mushrooms, you are not ready to fight! Go get those goblins.

>>4884335
This. We're too lanky!

>>4884406

Fuck! I meant "now" ready to fight.

I need to go to bed.

>>4884331
>>4884323
Fueled by Dorfen rum and RAGE, Moonleaf busts some heads.

Okay, new plan: Take two pans for DUAL WIELDING, hide in barrel, bash in the face of any goblin who raids the wagon for loot.

>>4884435
Finally some action!

start looting corpses

Whose your daddy? What's his name and did he die? If not then feed him mushrooms.

>>4884442
Argh, too late.

Spot check, approx. how many goblins are in the raiding party? If there's a lot I don't think we'll do so well due to DELICATE FEMALE FRAME.

>>4884435
Summon the powers of the mother earth and combine it with the fires of dwarven ale. Focus into blast focused at goblins.

Loot corpses! Then stun goblins with lighting and hit them while they're helpless!

>>4884435
>>4884527
>>4884501
>>4884487
>>4884467
>>4884456
>>4884442
Moonleaf leaps into acti- OH GODS! HHHHHHURRRRRRRFFFFFFFF!

>>4884564
Oh noes! Will save, pull yourself together Moonleaf! Don't go the same way as your father!

>>4884564
turn invicible
pretend to be a leaf
amything to aviod detection.

>>4884527
LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!

>>4884564
Poor judgement.
We are not dorfen.

>>4884564
This is why non-dorfs should not use DORFEN RAGE.

>>4884576
>>4884623
Save failed. Moonleaf collapses in a drunken stupor.
What will happen next? TUNE IN NEXT TIME!

That wasn't so completely awful.... considering.

>>4884653
gonna get drunk-raped by a goblin.

someone archive this.

>>4884653
I hope I was useful in my capacity.

>>4884653
Wait, is this it?

CUNTS FOR EYES.

>>4884653

When? Please don't crap out on us when you started something like this.

I actually found this RPG enjoyable.

>>4884700

Have some teddy grahams for being a dorfen sport.

>>4884653
I enjoyed your quest, Gnoll.

gnoll wins at action

WHAT NO