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  • File : 1245510471.png-(91 KB, 400x400, 1236004817897.png)
    91 KB Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:07 No.4941851  
    Our DM has a little girl following us. We've told him we don't like it, we don't bother to protect her, and it's come to the point in which I'm almost willing to kill her myself.

    She doesn't do anything useful, she barely says anything, she's just -there-. Tagging along on all of our adventures, and even when we're certain that she can't follow us somewhere (ie, a ledge she can't climb, one of the players ties her up and we leave her), she's got some sort of connection with a warforged delivery service.

    A random warforged literally delivers her to us within the hour, and then dashes off.

    Should I kill her, and get this all over with?
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:08 No.4941857
    Shes a plot device killing her would spoil the entire campaign.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:09 No.4941861

    Either that or make the demon god arise.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:09 No.4941864
    She's the power source of all warforged in that plane. Kill her, all warforged go back to being the lifeless chunks of metal they are.

    Which is to say you should do it.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:10 No.4941869
    Sounds like your DM is railroading with a badly designed cute NPC, also failing to understand that his party is not into cute NPCs. Call him out on this.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:12 No.4941876
    tentacle demon god monster for killing a perfectly good rape victim?
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:13 No.4941879
    find well
    dump loli in well
    wait for lassie
    ambush lassie
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:13 No.4941881
    Kill her and you'll just have a cyborg little girl following you.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:14 No.4941883
    >A random warforged literally delivers her to us within the hour, and then dashes off.

    She has an army of warforged-niichan? How awesome is that?
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:19 No.4941894
    My question is what is the DM's reason for the little girl to follow your party? And how is it significant to the plot?
    >> - !us8yDerpTM 06/20/09(Sat)11:20 No.4941897
    Brain that fucker in her sleep. Or throw her into an owlbear cave. Whatever is closest.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:21 No.4941902
    Roll with it. Abandon his plot, ignore his NPCs, spend all your time waiting for the little girl to do something and then protecting her.

    He wants to ruin your gaming, you could ruin his.

    Or act like an adult and tell him he's fucking up your shit, that no gaming is better than bad gaming, and he's going to be without players if he keeps tailoring the game to his interests only.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:21 No.4941903
    >Should I kill her, and get this all over with?
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:22 No.4941905
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    OP is a faggot. His party has a token loli who doesn't say much and has a WARFORGED GODDAMN DELIVERY SERVICE and he's complaining. Seriously, OP, you need to pull that stick out of your ass.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:22 No.4941906
    Just rape her. The DM will -never do it again-.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:23 No.4941909
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:24 No.4941911
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    >> That Fag In The Suit 06/20/09(Sat)11:24 No.4941912
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    Get a druid
    Stick loli in a cage
    Wild form into a large and fast bird
    Drop loli in nearest ocean
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:24 No.4941913
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:24 No.4941914
    Help her up the cliff, kick her off it.If that doesn't work: tie the bitch to a rope and go Bullette fishin'
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:24 No.4941915
    If she has an infinite army of warforged protecting her, use her the same way you would use the invincible character of a DM's girlfriend.
    That is, pick unwinnable fights, and then cleverly use her as a meatshield, forcing the warforged to come to her aid, resulting in your enemies dead and the loot left to you.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:24 No.4941918
    That picture moisturized my I-bawlz.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:30 No.4941956
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    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:34 No.4942006
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:34 No.4942010
    You shouldn't rape or kill her.
    >She doesn't do anything useful.
    Make her useful. Use her as a scout, a bait, a meatshield, or to spring traps.
    If she refuses to cooperate, spank her.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:36 No.4942023
    Not just rape. Gang rape. Call up your fellow players and set it up for the next session, so they won't end up kicking you out of the group for doing sick shit without their knowledge.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:36 No.4942025
    This. My party had a similar situation in a D20 apocalypse campaign, and while it was a little weird at first, it ended up being quite interesting. She learned quite a bit from her surroundings, as children do, and our party was crazy as fuck, so it was interesting watching her develop. I remember one of our party members took her out on a joy ride on his motorcycle for her birthday, which consisted of them throwing molotov cocktails at random shit they passed by. She enjoyed it. A lot. Yep, she developed quite interestingly.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:37 No.4942027
    Sounds like you need words with your DM, if he doesn't see reason then fuck it. Do what you like, personally I'd walk but maybe you can see what the group thinks and if they all agree and the DM still doesn't fix his shit then walk, play something better.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:37 No.4942028
    >spank her
    And then tie her up. Put a collar on her, tie her leash to a tree, and cast a seduction spell. She'll be straining for your cock in no time. It's adorable AND sexy.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:37 No.4942031
    Holy shit a badly conceptualized macguffin.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:37 No.4942033
    OP, PLEASE tell me one of the people in your party is strong enough to use the girl as a throwing weapon.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:38 No.4942038
    Just kill her, goddamn.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:39 No.4942042

    Use her as a shield, literally. She's probably about the size of a small shield so you can kill two birds with one stone.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:44 No.4942072
    I bet if you try to rape it turns out she's a trap
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:45 No.4942080
    It's a Darkstalkers reference. You're a faggot for not recognizing it.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:47 No.4942100
    If that's true, what's gonna happen?
    Will she kill the party in their sleep?
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:49 No.4942112
    I said no raping. That includes date-rape spells/potions.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:49 No.4942118

    this = sensible. The DM is obviously trying to railroad you with the girl (she's probably some god or something). You COULD fuck with the game but that'll just upset him and end up with PC brains all over the table. Better to roll with it and just let her be actually useful.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:51 No.4942130
    The DM MIGHT be waiting for you to try and kill it just to show off his wtfplot, too.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:51 No.4942131
    Have her carry all of your stuff.
    Stick her in the front of the party as the scout.
    Have her use her cuteness to bargain.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:53 No.4942137
    This. Just strap her to a shield and find out whether she's invincible or not. Failing that chuck her down a well and brick it up, I always love a good ghost hunt.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:53 No.4942140
    > A random warforged literally delivers her to us within the hour, and then dashes off.

    The plan is obvious.

    Sell her into slavery.

    If she returns to you: do it again in the next town. Hooray money!

    If she does not return to you: problem solved, probably forever.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:57 No.4942163
    People will think they kidnapped her back.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:57 No.4942166
    cut off her hair
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)11:59 No.4942180
    I'm telling you, fish for Bullettes.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:00 No.4942185
    And thus hilarity ensues.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:01 No.4942187
    buy cute clothes and play dress-up with her
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:03 No.4942203
    teach her about 18th century german idealism
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:08 No.4942241
    give her lots of hugs and kisses
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:15 No.4942302
    Act in ways towards her that might be taken as sexually suggestive, but not so much that you'll get kicked out but enough so that it will make the others uncomfortable. Like, pat her on the butt occasionally, or pick her up around the chest.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:23 No.4942365
    That might work in character but wouldn't really work with other players, and you can't trust players to not metagame at least that small amount. "I grab pick her up by the chest" is an unnoticeable IC action but just describing it in that way makes it _very_ sexually suggestive to the players you're playing with, not partially.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:30 No.4942418
    OP, why is the girl following you?
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:32 No.4942438
    That's actually stunningly adorable. Little girl ferried around by a warforged delivery service? D'awww.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:32 No.4942442
    >"I grab pick her up by the chest"

    Damn, you have me missing Kodomo no Jikan.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:33 No.4942444
    Shove a 10ft pole up her ass. Carry her around as your party's standard.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:35 No.4942460
    take your dick out and slap her across her face with it
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:36 No.4942463

    Whenever children are involved, we always get comments like this... from other children, I guess. Man, I love this place.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:38 No.4942475
    They secretly want such treatment, but are unable to get it.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:39 No.4942479
    Eh, I know this one girl who finds it hysterical when I talk about raping her niece.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:39 No.4942484
    allow girl to get captured by the enemy.

    then watch as warforged kick their ass getting her out.

    then claim you're using it as an in-character advantage based on what your characters know and demand a portion of the warforged killing exp in roleplay exp form
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:39 No.4942485
    >> - !us8yDerpTM 06/20/09(Sat)12:41 No.4942493
    Calling other people children sure is a good way to prove you're not much different from the 'children' you're calling 'children'.
    You fail to recognise that the DM is just using this as a means to either annoy the hell out of the party, secret MucGuffin of some sort or because he has a weird fascination with little girls. All three of which, without any warning whatsoever, are fucking retarded.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:43 No.4942504
    Isn't it obvious? He's a fa/tg/uy who heard about Noh and is wondering why you all don't realize how adorable she is.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:43 No.4942507
    The counterpoint to this is that the players are just being dicks. Two sides to every coin. Unless it's a three-sided coin, which would be awkward.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:43 No.4942509
    or maybe he has gotten bored of "ok you go to X town get quest to kill dragon then loot" and is trying something different for once had DM's do that more than a few times
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:48 No.4942533
    actually, about that...
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:49 No.4942539
    Get a new DM.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:49 No.4942541
    so basically... warforged-powered version of The Cat Came Back, or possibly Clingy Macguffin
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:51 No.4942550
    Have you actually tried talking to her? Y'know, asking her who she is, why she's following you, etc? For that matter, have you asked the warforged?
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:51 No.4942554
    So, lolicon art dump?
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:52 No.4942555
    >I think you are a runaway AI and I am Captain Kirk.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)12:52 No.4942557
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    >> - !us8yDerpTM 06/20/09(Sat)12:55 No.4942579
    As Kane greatly said, even coins can land on their side eventually.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)13:48 No.4942839
    Warforged: Sillier by the minute.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)13:49 No.4942847
    Use her to create a perpetual motion device!
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)13:53 No.4942868
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    Do this.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)13:59 No.4942906
    Kill the girl. Cut her throat, gut her and leave her in a state that she could not recover from. Then tell the GM that you'll leave the table in case he tries to bring the fucker back, making your own adventure and dragging all other players from his one. Leaving him to his pedo dreams, alone.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:02 No.4942923
    pull a bomb spell on her and only if you say a word does she explode.Leave her somewhere,have warforge bring her back. Explain bomb to warforge,have warforge slave.
    You get warforge slave and free bomb
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:03 No.4942934
    >Leaving him to his pedo dreams, alone.

    It really doesn't say anything about pedo fetishes anywhere. Most likely he just wanted to take the easy route for a sympathetic NPC character.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:04 No.4942940
    i like this plan
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:07 No.4942959
    cut the ligiments on her legs and just leave her on the side of the road, and every time she keeps comming back keep doing somthing more and more horrible every time she comes back.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:12 No.4942989

    sympathetic character is not the same as a weeaboo DM's shit people have to make up with.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:14 No.4942998
    Wow, there sure are alot of idiots here.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:14 No.4943002
    >weeaboo DM's

    Only japs have kids now?
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:16 No.4943009
    Read again. Where does it say anything about weeaboo? It's just a little girl.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:18 No.4943018

    Only they have such a creepy obsession with putting them into everything.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:20 No.4943033
    So that means she's important, and if something were to happen it'd destroy the entire campaign.

    Hey, nobody said you have to be a good writer to be a DM.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:23 No.4943045
    Haha no.
    >> Muon 06/20/09(Sat)14:25 No.4943052
    You don't understand. The little girl is the worldly manifestation of a god, and it is testing you. You are failing.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:26 No.4943057
    Hi new chap, welcome to 4chan.

    4chan can be pretty harsh, but this is just a "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer!" type of thread.
    >> NuBlackAnon !!z6ldXGL61Wm 06/20/09(Sat)14:27 No.4943058
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:28 No.4943067
    For a DH game I once had a little girl trail behind the team. I gave them a clearly defined reason why to keep her: she knew the exact whereabouts of the cult they had been hunting down for months, but she was so traumatized she couldn't say it. Therefore they had to take her for investigation.

    She had been a prisoner of the cult for the few years of her life, and it left her a wreck. Whatever term of "cute" you could apply to her horrilbly beaten form was only by the sheer pathetic stance and gait she had mixed with soft peaceful mumbling.

    Unfortunately for the team, this girl was quite a handful. Much like the savant in Eisenhorn, she had an OCD obsession with collecting as much data as she could, and would constantly wander off to inspect the serial number of heating pipes and prediciting their path and average internal pressure. Often times she would get herself in dangerous situations, such as one time when she opened the door to a moving snow-skiff (she was determining the handle's maximum degree of movement), or when she stumbles into bandit camps.

    The girl lasted about 5 sessions, and over that time the team actually bonded with her, in a sense. They would actively protect her, constantly monitor, even keep watch specificly on her as she slept. Most characters would say this was strictly professional, but the party's adept was fond of her curiosity, reminded him of himself.

    In the end she was taken into an Inquisitorial Outpost on a local moon, where visiting Inquisitor Darrus Ingramm performed a cortex planing, resulting in over sixty thousand tissue thin slices of her brain. The Inquisition was able to successfully locate the cult from this autopsy.
    The party was rewarded and given citations.

    The adept doesn't wear his, he keeps it on top of thee girl's dataslate, which he keeps amongst his own. Sedimental reasons.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:31 No.4943079
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 06/20/09(Sat)14:31 No.4943081

    >In the end she was taken into an Inquisitorial Outpost on a local moon, where visiting Inquisitor Darrus Ingramm performed a cortex planing, resulting in over sixty thousand tissue thin slices of her brain.

    I thought of salami as I read this.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:32 No.4943084
    ;_; sad but necessary end
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:32 No.4943090
    Girly tears.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:33 No.4943095
    When I first said "cortex planing" one of my players asked "what's cortex planning"?

    I said "No, no. Cortex PLANING, planing. You know, like you do to wood?"

    His eyes slowly got wide.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:34 No.4943100

    .....f-for the Emperor....
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:35 No.4943105
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    Way to kill the mood.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:36 No.4943109
    Oh my, is that some properly executed GRIMDARK?
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:36 No.4943110
    You are excellent.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 06/20/09(Sat)14:37 No.4943118
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    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:37 No.4943120
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    OH NO!
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:38 No.4943122
    >Sedimental reasons
    This ruined it for me.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:42 No.4943158
    >>In the end she was taken into an Inquisitorial Outpost on a local moon, where visiting Inquisitor Darrus Ingramm performed a cortex planing, resulting in over sixty thousand tissue thin slices of her brain. The Inquisition was able to successfully locate the cult from this autopsy.
    The party was rewarded and given citations.

    Man. That sounds like something the Inquisition would do.

    "Did you ask her?"

    "Well yeah, but she wouldn't answer.."

    "Fair enough, we gave her a chance. I don't time for the usual dog and pony show, just open her brain up and let's get diggin'"
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:45 No.4943186
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    I have to laud you. While horrible and grimdark and so forth, that his to be among the most deapan perfectly executed player-punches ever devised. You sir, are the ultimate of martini-drinking DMs. You dont just throw Tucker's Kobolds at them, you exploit their FEELINGS.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:47 No.4943196
    D-did she have a name? *sniff*
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:48 No.4943204
    I made a fellow exalted player have a miscarriage once

    good times
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:48 No.4943209
    no names it would only make it harder
    >> ??? Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:51 No.4943228
    FUCK HER!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:52 No.4943234

    So that is why there should have been a name. Fucking with your group is what a good DM does.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:52 No.4943235
    Are you a writefag perchance?
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:53 No.4943239
    I love how this made the thread go from "KILLAN AND RAPAN THE LITTLE GIRL" to "baaaaaawww, poor little girl... ;_;"
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:54 No.4943244

    There probably was a name, given to her by the party to increase attachment to the thing.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 06/20/09(Sat)14:54 No.4943248

    >poor little girl

    yes, quite the scatterbrain she was in the end.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:54 No.4943250
    The player? Holy shit. That's crazy.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:54 No.4943253
    Sorry to go off-topic from the grimdark horrible brain dissection, but DAMN, WTF is up with that pic? Girl looks like a feaking tadpole with hair.

    Fucking pedo japs and their fucked-up drawing style. I'm stating to think alot of japanese animators have never even seen a 3d girl for years. All they have to go on are second-hand accounts and older anime. Art will shift as time goes on, with each generation's characters becoming more exaggerated and divorced from reality. Eventually the characters wont even be recognizably human, much less female.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:55 No.4943256
    Kinda, she told the party she had no name, seeing as she was born in the camp. For simplicity reasons, the party's Guardsman called her "Objective Delta" which is what she was called on their mission manifest.

    The Adept would just call her Delta, the other party members called her "girl"


    No not really. I mean I have had a tendancy to write a story or two for /tg/, mostly recollections of my games.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:56 No.4943264
    I'm sorry, are you new to anime?
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:57 No.4943267
    >> ??? Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:58 No.4943272
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:58 No.4943276
    Because the DM in OP's post is a moron and doesn't know how to use DMPCs.

    The second DM knows how to use DMPCs with amazing success.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)14:59 No.4943287
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    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)15:00 No.4943289
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    No, but I'm more familiar with the Good stuff, not weird-ass moe stuff. And Tadpole girl there just kind of drove it home; look at the eye placement and spacing.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)15:02 No.4943304
    I think you were beaten to the punch, and this was much more subtle.

    >>Oh my, is that some properly executed GRIMDARK?
    >>properly executed
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)15:02 No.4943305
    that what i wana do
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)15:10 No.4943376
    Little Girls have their place in Stories and tabletop RPGs. They should made available for the players to form an attatchement with, rather than shoehorned in. OP is in a bad situation. Grimdark traumatized dissected girl, on the other hand, is a well-done example of loli-usage in Grimdark Settings.

    Makes me wish we didnt have a Diablo/Wow player as our GM in my Dark Heresy game. I'm playing exactly the sort of character that would get attatched, too. (Law-and-Order detective-style Arbiter. Way too idealistic and sentimental to survive long in 40K, but his self-destruct will be fun to watch)
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)15:10 No.4943380
    This thread is now about unwavering service to the Emperor.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)15:13 No.4943401
    Attempt to train her into a PC class of some kind. Be adamant that if the girl is going to continue to follow you, she must be able to at least defend herself in some way. You'll either get a useful (all be it, annoying) Marry-Sue DMPC or it will surprise the DM enough he will have to start making shit up on the fly, and that's always fun, even if the DM sucks.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)15:17 No.4943437
    Ollanius Pius.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)15:19 No.4943448
    How about you approach the DM and tell him that random hanger on girl is fucking annoying and its ruining the game for you.

    This is definitely a case of "Out-of-game solution required" at any rate.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 06/20/09(Sat)15:20 No.4943460

    I killed Santa for the Emperor. Does that count?
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)15:24 No.4943476
    The Emperor is Santa. How else could Santa deliver that many presents at that speed?
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)15:24 No.4943477
    Depends; was he filling the childrens stockings with HERESY?
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 06/20/09(Sat)15:25 No.4943489

    He was standing in a crowd of heretics that I threw a grenade at. I totally didn't know Santa was in the crowd. I nuked four heretics and like 20 civilians.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)15:27 No.4943501
    4 less heritics in the universe, it was justified
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)15:29 No.4943507
    >I nuked four heretics and like 20 potential heretics
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)15:29 No.4943515
    5 heretics; one is in a Santa suit.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)15:36 No.4943565
    For fuck's sake do what you want with her. The DM is obviously going to do -something- based on the way your party reacts to the wee loli. So do what your party generally does, then see what happens.

    If the DM doesn't do anything then call out DM for faggotry.
    >> Lore Guard 06/20/09(Sat)17:16 No.4944230
    What you do with the little girl is very simple. It is better if you have a dwarf, someone large or simply someone with high STR, like the Barbarian, Fighter, maybe even the Cleric.

    With me so far? Okay, tie her to said strong man's back. If you are feeling vindictive, you can just use the poor gal as a meatshield on your back. Feeling nice, and you can tie an actual shield to your back over the loli, preferably completely obscuring her.

    This achieves several things: First, you keep the girl, DM is happy, sort of. Second, she is out of the way, specifically your way and out of danger (Presumably), and thus not a problem to you. You're happy. Three, the girl is properly very uncomfortable with this arrangement, bonus points. If she complains, gag her. Not even a Paladin can argue with this plan.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)17:22 No.4944260
    Seriously, your DM just wants you to interact with said loli to the point you get pissed off and end up killing, molesting or humiliating said loli out of pent up rage and frustration.

    Just beat the shit out of your DM, deny him the ability to DM ever again and exclude him from your gaming session ever again whether he's the DM or not.

    Let him pay for the error of his ways instead of rewarding it with attention.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)17:33 No.4944329

    I can't believe this hasn't be said over the course of the ENTIRE thread, I like loli rape as much as the next guy but there's something you've all overlooked.

    >>A random warforged literally delivers her to us within the hour, and then dashes off.

    CHASE THAT MOTHERFUCKER. See where he's going, where's coming from and why! A wizard with a phantasmic steed will be able to outpace a warforged on foot without a problem. Track that fucking thing all the way back where he came from, find out what the hell is going on.

    If the DM wanted you to do this then you can finally move on from this stupid plot. If he didn't, then you just fucked up his plans in the most innocent and perfectly understandable way. If he says the warforged suddenly starts flying or something tell him you drop the loli off of a cliff, it'll have to come back to save her and you can continue the chase.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)17:48 No.4944428
    Just don't react to anything the loli does, ever. If it talks, never acknowledge so. When it follows you, forget it's there during scenes. If it stabs you in the back, completely ignore what the DM says and just continue on.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)17:52 No.4944449

    Probably the best idea here. It requires NOTHING on your part. Get your lads in on it with you, check if they're all good for it before going and fucking your DM right back.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)18:14 No.4944564
    Apparently you haven't thought of some good uses for a loli. If you can't have her trained as a bard that sings "Itsy Bitsy Spider," she still has a myriad of uses.

    Did you know?
    Lolis are too light to trigger pressure plates. This is great for getting past those tricky pressure plates.
    Lolis give the same bonus to aid another as anyone else. She is a walking +2 (provided she can get a result of at least 10 on the related roll) to attack, defense, or skills.
    Lolis count as a two-handed weapon.
    Lolis can distract enemy guards. They'll be too busy paying attention to the little girl to notice the adventuring party sneaking around behind them.
    Lolis can also be used as collateral or peace offerings. If you make her look real nice, you could probably even use her as payment for that fancy sword you've always wanted.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)18:16 No.4944585
    OP here. I found a far superior site: http://www.UnonTalk.com/ (Unon = Anon)

    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)18:18 No.4944597
    Use the loli as trap bait. Dungeon mechanical traps I mean.

    If the DM is really some creepy guy, he'll think it's awesome you're talking to her, if he's just trying to railroad you with some loli lich storyline, you can just sent her off to get killed by acid traps!
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)18:28 No.4944651
         File : 1245536901.gif-(3 KB, 351x310, cuteboldcry02.gif)
    3 KB
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)18:34 No.4944703
         File : 1245537282.jpg-(29 KB, 640x480, borntoseethis.jpg)
    29 KB

    I salute you, king of the heart-stabbing DMs.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)18:40 No.4944739
    Wow what the fuck /tg/ I thought you had half a heart.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)18:41 No.4944750
    I'm planning on a DH mission where the acolytes have to hunt down a growing cult. It attracts mutants who believe this one guy preaching has found a messiah who can sure their deformities and make them human. They have to clean out the heresy, but if they take the time to notice, they will learn the girl is powerless and is only a cover for the preacher who is a twisted rouge psyker masking his presence. Will they shoot the little girl? Only to find out they've been fooled and feel horrible. I want to find out.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 06/20/09(Sat)18:41 No.4944751

    Who the hell told you that?
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)18:43 No.4944759
         File : 1245537814.png-(175 KB, 1261x1192, 1242265395769.png)
    175 KB
    >> SB 06/20/09(Sat)18:43 No.4944761
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)18:44 No.4944767
    Get a new DM.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 06/20/09(Sat)18:44 No.4944768

    That image was obviously doctored.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)18:45 No.4944780
    Use the Lina Inverse method of having useless idiots follow you.
    Use them as packmules to carry your shit, and as decoys for you to use.
    They are disposable items, after all.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)18:46 No.4944786
    Are you a Chaotic Evil I RAPE BABIES HAHA KILL EVERYTHING idiot? If so, then yes, kill her, you're already crazy.

    Anything else, no.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)18:48 No.4944804
    In the end, I'm still wondering why OP and some of /tg/ is so damned vindictive towards this npc.
    It has done NOTHING, outside of simply being there, and the only interactions made were the times the OP and his party tried to get rid of her for seemingly arbitrary reasons; ie they could.
    They have not tried in any fashion to communicate with her, or reasonably try to investigate her purpose. She has a fucking warforge at her beck and call, and OP isn't the least bit curious why, as he is too busy trying to be RAWR tuff guy.
    tl;dr OP and his party are idiots. You have, at the least, a tool that can be wielded to your own whims (and that maybe why she is there, I've done things like this myself), and OP + co are so into themselves that they can't even see it. I hope she kills you all.
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)18:48 No.4944808
    In the same sense that all screencaps are doctored.
    >> Guardsman Alexandros 06/20/09(Sat)19:03 No.4944924
    >I killed Santa for the Emperor. Does that count?

    Damn right you did, and it was glorious!
    >> Anonymous 06/20/09(Sat)20:54 No.4945826
    If you want to trap the GM, give her a bunch of scrolls to carry, have one of them be a scroll with explosive runes cast on it.

    "oh how cute she wasted all your scrolls"
    "No she exploded her face off, I told her not to read them"

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