Time to start the ceremony!

Holy shit, a day early?

WHOOHOO!

And wedding cutscene is fine. I demand Lily riding pet baby spider in as combination ring-bearer/bridesmaid, though.

>>5012009
>Dorf Quest LVIII
>LVIII
>LIVII
Can we has a Love Can Bloom?

You just couldn't wait till Saturday, could ya?

Sweet. Dorf Quest and Moonleaf Quest going at once. My day is complete.

Oh, so many people showed up! You're glad they could come. Without them, this ceremony would feel so empty.

You have no idea how she did it, either, but somehow Cultist got Xom to be their priest! Worrisome, but at least the ceremony will be memorable.

>>5012037
to be honest, moonleaf quest seemed sorta dead. Gnoll fell asleep or something again, didn't he?

>LVIII

>>5012031
Cultist-chan is heading to the altar in a maternity bridal gown.

I think Love not only Bloomed, but Pollinated and Fruited too.

Aldwin should take ranks in hatmancer.

Sniff. I always cry at weddings.

>Xom officiating
Not exactly a good sign.

>>5012039
Who's that just lounging in the pew on the left? That hair and boneless slouch look disturbingly familiar...

Who's the best man?

>dorf quest

>>5012039
Who is that not looking at us?

Xom: "Alright, lets get this thing started! Do you, Personface, take this Cultist, in sickness and mutation, in ugliness and in beauty, through the fire and the flames, we carry on, we carry on, something something black parade... say I do."

Aldwin: "I do."

Xom: "Good. Now, Cultist, do you take Personface, in blah blah say I do."

Cultist: "I do."

Xom: "If any of you lot have objections, SAY EM IN THE NEXT TWO SECONDS OR THESE TWO WILL KISS, and then they will share cooties and it will be gross."

>>5012035
Oh, right, about that. Work called me in for an extra day tomorrow, so I need to do this now, or Monday. I opted for now.

>>5012071
That's right. Troll Quest is over on /d/ somewhere; I hear they're recruiting.

On-topic now, kinda surprised Nemelex isn't paying his regards.

"Yeah, I have an objection. Why aren't I your best man, Aldwin? I came back from the dead to be here for you."

inb4 objection!

>>5012095
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

>>5012095
Dammit Findlay, go eat Kav again, and make sure she enjoys it this time!

Oh, also, that was /emd cutscene.

>>5012095
Why does he look so vampiry?

Give perfectly reasonale explenation.

Cultist: Throw Xom at Finlay.
Aldwin: Continue being stunned.

Aldwin: "Wait... who are you again?"

Explain that he would be, except that he was dead when you picked your best man. So please sit quietly and enjoy the wedding.

Check inventory. Check it!

>>5012150
This

Have Furious George show up in best man tux and apologize for being late.

Have Aldwin point at him and say "He asked first. Sorry."

"Who are you, exactly?"

Hope he has a ring of elemental resistance, cause that was one ICE BURN!

>>5012207
Undead have cold resistance.

>>5012220

Oh.

Well shit.

"Really? I am forgotten, already? And after I'd finally forgiven you for killing me... Well, no matter. I'll step outside. Enjoy your wedding, Aldwin."

"Hey Lily, this guy is seriously creepy bad news. And he's the one that had that fairy gangster try to attack the Goldmoon Slayers. He wants to kill you all. Also, we think he may be a worshipper of Xanatos. And Beardbeard killed Garrelf last thread at the culmination of a massive deathmatch. But that may be in your future right now, hell if I know what the time relationship is here. Anything else you want the all-knowing eye of /tg/ to tell you?"

>>5012245
Apologize, tell him you remember, and that he's welcome to stay at watch so long as he behaves.

Aww... poor guy.

Tell him to wait. You were just joking. He's more than welcome at our wedding.

>>5012245

Give the guy his hat back. We have our own hat now, and FInlay gets a bad rap most of the time.

We cannot refuse the man on this, the day of our fiance's wedding.

>>5012245

"Actually, I think it was Goldmoon who killed you. Because you lied to her too much. So you probably don't want to do that again.

But I do have my own hat now, so I can give yours back if you want it."

>>5012245

Alright, good job Gnome, you made me feel sad for the sociopathic loon. He can stay- forgiveness is part of being a good guy- especially someone on their wedding day.

>>5012252
"No, thanks. I think that'll be good..."

Lily should use that god power that hurts undead.

who is our best man anyway?

if we lack one, why not let him be it.

Hasn't he been haunting our dreams lately or something?

>>5012318
We should ask Xom for a best man. Surely he will pick his favorite chaosknight and/or the most hilarious thing possible.

Complain to Xom that Finlay is breaking up your nice, orderly wedding, and that since Xom wants a nice, orderly, well-structured time for everyone, he should calmly and politely boot Finlay from the room and allow the entirely orderly situation to continue according to plan.

>>5012287

Forgiveness is the order of the day, then, as long as he doesn't try anything.

For the sake of awesome, toss him his hat back so that it lands on his head and spins just enough for the feather to be in the right spot.

Ceremonially give Finlay his hat back, and ask him, please, to stay, because everyone should be happy on his wedding day.

>>5012257
>>5012259
>>5012274
>>5012287
"I'm sorry, Finlay, really. You can stay if you want. I don't have a best man picked, because everyone I know is a girl. You can be best man! C'mon, I've even got your hat back at the windmill. I can give it to you after the wedding!"

"...Well, I don't know what to say. Thank you, Aldwin. That is very... generous of you."

Be faster Gnome, damn.

>>5012371

What can I say. I give till it hurts!

ominousthunder.jpg

>>5012371
In before he takes Aldwin's hand off with his teeth

Where's Coco?

Man, if he ruins cultists wedding, theres gonna be Xom to pay!

"Pssst! Hey Aldwin, take this ring."

>>5012407
What the hell is cultist's name anyway?

>>5012449
KUHLTEEST

>>5012447
*snicker* *giggle*

>>5012447

Sure. Why not?

>>5012447
In before cursed ring of impotence

Miniature girdle of gender change. I know it.

"Now give it to the zombie guy."

"Um... why?"

"Because he's your best man, Personface!"

"um... Wat."

"Or really, just give it to whoever."

This looks like your wedding ring. What do you do?

>>5012497
Give it to Finlay so he can give it to us so we can put it on cultist.

>>5012497
THIS IS WHY WE DON'T INVITE YOU PLACES, XOM. I AM NOT MARRYING FINLAY FUCK.

Cry and consummate your marriage right there on the altar.

>>5012497
I see no reason not to trust Xom. Give it to Finlay.

>>5012497

Duh. Give it to cultist.

>>5012497
Give it to him. If we don't already have a ringbearer, Finlay can be ours to make up for us being rude to him!

When has Xom ever steered us wrong?

>>5012557
Xom kills a demonspawn chaosknight every time someone says that.
So please, Think of the mutations!

>>5012508
>>5012534
Lily was your ring bearer.

>>5012521
>>5012557
You give the ring to Finlay.

"HYAAAAAHAAHAHAAAAAA! I now pronounce you MAN and DEAD GUY."

He didnt say I do! it doesnt count!

Well shit.

Oh well. Apologise to cultist.

Come on Finlay. Honeymoons awaiting.

>>5012604
You...you may now kiss the dead guy?

oh xom.

>>5012521
>>5012557
I hate you both so much right now.

Shouldn't Aldwin have had enough Logic not to do something that fucking stupid?

Also, cheat like a motherfucker with our cards to see if we have one that will wipe the memory of this particular bit of stupidity from the minds of all present. Then give the ring Lily was holding to THE RIGHT GODDAMN PERSON JESUS FUCK

Wait, does this mean cultist is a dead guy now? Are those some of her mutations?

>>5012604
Tell Xom marrying Finlay would make no sense because you gave him the ring.

MEMORY WIPE

>>5012604
We should have seen this coming, in retrospect.

>>5012620

>>5012687

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK!

Technically, all Xom did was pronounce Finlay legally dead.

>>5012687
FUCKING XOM

Well shit, no two ways around it.

marry finlay.

Aldwin. Say "No. I'm Marrying Cultist."

>>5012687
Wait Xom making someone get married by handing them a ring makes perfect sense. Meaning Xom is becoming logical meaning...oh dear god.

>>5012687
I guess it's official now. Time for the honeymoon, lovebirds.

>>5012604
>>5012687
Technically all that Xom has done is pronounce Aldwin a MAN and Finlay a DEAD GUY.
I say we ignore him and continue the ceremony.

Polygamy is a Xom thing, right?

Psst. Lilly. Help us out here. Your a cleric or priest or something, arent you? Can't you step in and perform the marriage proper?

>>5012719
Two moons were lost the last time that happens. QUICK REPLACE ALDWIN'S NEXT SENTENCE WITH SOMETHING SILLY!

>>5012735
If she worshiped Yog, she could just banish Xom for a little bit.

>>5012731

I say this, but in an amusing way.

>>5012687
Since Cultist and Aldwin already said "I do" to each other, then obviously the only solution is that Cultist use her Xom-given and womanly-rage augmented powers to beat the ever-living shit out of Xom for fucking up her wedding. Because there's some shit that isn't cool even when Xom does it, and because RIGHTEOUS FEMININE RAGE is the one power against which there is no defense.

Or ask Nemelex to deal with this shit.

That "I do" doesn't count. He didn't ask Finlay the big question.

Or to Aldwin, technically. He asked us if we took Cultist to be our wife, and Finlay isn't a cultist of Xom.

>>5012756
Xom would block the attack with a banana then eat it.

DEAR CHRIST CULTIST OBJECT EVERYONE START OBJECTING.

>>5012756
NO NO NO NO NO
DO NOT USE XOM TO UNFUCK A XOM SCENARIO!
STOP USEING XOM
STOP USEING GODS ALL TOGETHER.
EMPEROR DAM IT ALL.

>>5012718
>>5012731
"No, Xom. Fuck you. I am marrying Cultist."

>>5012793
>bad idea
>Xom
>delicious candy

>>5012793
Hopefully Xom is amused by our boulder-sized testicles for saying "Fuck you" to a god incarnate.

>>5012793

Ignore Cultist
advicexom.jpg
Tell me to fuck off.

>>5012793

"Hey Lily, tell Xom there's going to be something really amusing happening outside Buzzardloved in, like, half an hour or so. Just do it. Recommend he leave now if he wants to make sure he has fresh popcorn and a good seat."

The temple is deathly silent.

>>5012815
No, just say.
"Beardbeard is going to fight that elf."

>>5012841
I can see where this is going.

>>5012841
No, Xom, we would never tell you No. No, of course Not. Never. But we are marrying Cultist, fuck you.

>>5012863
>see where this is going
>Xom
lol no u dnt

>>5012841
"If you're the God of Love, Xom, then fucking with True Love would be a violation of your divine mandate. It'd be like Moradin saying 'I'm going to have the elves buttfuck the dorfen race', or Fate saying 'I'm going to use a genuine RNG to determine my next move'. You can't do it."

>>5012841
"Correct. I'm rejecting your plan and substituting my own. Chaos wouldn't be chaotic if it always went your way, would it?"

>>5012841

Your damn right I did. What cultist and I have... that's love. And nothing, not the undead, not beardbeard, not even you, Xom, is going to stand in the way of that love. You got me, fox-boy?

the planet still has a spare moon, right?

>>5012841

"You got that the first time I spoke. No, Xom, I'm marrying Cultist."

NOTE THE LACK OF THE LETTER "D"

>>5012868
>No, Xom, we would never tell you No. No, of course Not. Never. But we are marrying Cultist, fuck you.

>>5012856
That works. Also, tell him a kobold gets to be incredibly badass. Because that's, like, double amusing or something.

>>5012883
Your plan. It has a flaw.

>>5012886

Brace for impact

So... if we kill Xom, we become Xom, right?

If it comes down to it, Aldwin may have to stand his ground, and damn if true love is going to back down this easy.

>>5012886
Have Lily erupt into seething Nerdrage over her mommy and daddy having their wedding wrecked by a fucking fox.

Or have Xanatos pop in at the door and casually mention that she doesn't like Xom fucking with her only remaining worshipper on the continent.

>>5012923
If we somehow became the God of Love while leaving Xom as God of Chaos, that would be amusing.

But I prefer Aldwin to stay without divine essence.

>>5012923
Xom isn't like the pansies we've faced. He is one of the original 4 and easily the second strongest gods. He is stronger then the god that can completely rewrite your brain and the one that can kill you dead with the blink of an eye.

"Chicken eggs will hatch winged pigs. I'll invert hell's temperature. Now, I just need a name for this day.... hmm, oh what could I name it..."

>>5012952
"NoToXom day. Now can we continue with the marriage?"

Cultist's day.

>>5012952
"Tuesday".

And yes, it's the voice of Raul Julia saying that. Nobody knows where it's coming from.

>>5012952

"The day Xom sucked it up and stopped being a petulant man-child deity?"

>>5012952
No.
nononono
I like cultist...please no.

Saint Valentine's day.

>>5012952
Call it the Holi day. just because.

>>5012952
Reach into the abyss and grab something. Name it after the thing you grabbed.

>>5012982

You act as if Xom would ever harm one of his own followers.

"The day Coco showed up behind you with embarrassing pictures from when you and Xanatos were dating?"

>>5012967
>>5012971
>>5012978
>>5012984
Various members of the congregation shout out some ideas.

"Hmmm, not bad. Not baaaad. What does everyone think of... Armageddon? It has a nice ring to it. One city per year, gone from the map. You think it'd catch on?"

>>5013028

"Sure. But since you already did Aordor this year, you have to wait until next year to do another one."

>>5013028
I think you should throw up, give the barf sentience, then ask it its name and name the day after it. It should also be the one who consumes the cities. You can name it Armageddon if it can't talk.

Use awesome happy face to make yourself totally unobtrusive and pitiful.

Walk behind Xom casually. Stabbity ensues. Find the result hilarious.

>>5013028
How about... No? Didn't you have a wedding to run?

>>5013028
Oh good.
This I can handle.

why not call it yadday?

>>5013028
Way to be a petulant whiny dick, Xom. This isn't Chaotic. It's petty, weakass bullshit. I'd expect this from Glittergold. Not from you.

>>5013028
Lookin' pretty Trog there, Xom. Why don't you stick to mutations and silly god gifts?

>>5013044
"Xom, behave. You have a wedding to run."

>>5013028
Why go with something as small as a city?

>>5013028

"Honestly, it's a little overdone.

And predictable."

"Incedentally, how long have you been the god of Chaos?"

>>5013059
Write down the idea, it sounded like a good one.

Wait, how is whats-her-face who miscarried because of Xom and who is SITTING IN THE TEMPLE RIGHT NOW reacting to all of this?

>>5013090
He should remove all of her mutations since she didn't earn them.

>>5013105
But how do you EARN mutations?

>>5013117
Amuse Xom. If they were used as a weapon against you and you don't worship Xom, then you don't deserve them.

"Hello Rary!"

"Don't touch me, Xom."

>>5013071
"This whole armageddon thing is far too predictable. So what if he said 'No.' You don't have to be a baby about it. Let the guy marry his girl. If you're so angry, just throw the moon at me again."

>>5013090
What a very good question.

No matter what else happens, this requires (at the dramatically appropriate point) an epic "Power of Love" smooch between Aldwin and Cultist.

>>5013133
That's how he broke two moons? I thought it would be something awesomer.

>>5013147

This. Dramatic Kiss. Give Xom the finger as you dip and kiss your Cultist, Aldwin.

..Did Aldwin say no to Xom.. and get away with it?

>>5013128
Do the three stooges amuse Xom?

rolled 6 = 6

He should demand a randomly chosen snackrifice. Number goes from left to right in this picture
>>5012039
Starting with Finlay.

>>5013167
Xom will not be amused.

>>5013090
"Xom is such a bitch. C'mon Aldy, I'm an ordained priest too. If you want, I'll marry you to Cultist. Lets get out of here."

>>5013133

Well, I guess that explains where the extra moons went.

Also, shouldn't the half-destroyed leylines be providing a delicious opportunity for chaos?

>>5013175
Since when where you a pirate?

>>5013198
Why doesn't Lily have a :3?

>>5013198

Wait! Don't forget the ring!

>>5013186
goddamn your dumb ideas Vector.

>>5013186

...he just rolled himself.

Boy, won't that be awkward.

I KNOW THE PROBLEM! Aldwin isn't appropriate to marry Finlay. One is a living. One is deadish. Both are male. Ew.

Aldwin needs a makeover so he's a proper match.

>>5013221

Have Coco marry Findlay. He's a girl...probably.

>>5013203
>Since when where you a pirate?

When haven't I been?

Plundering the seas of /tg/! Thats me!

>>5013220
No, Aldwin and Xom are exempt from the roll.

>>5013238
Pirate Wenches need at least C-Cups.

>>5013198

Fuck yes you are the best assassin. Get Married in assassinwedding.

>>5013238
You're no pirate! You don't even have an eyepatch!

>>5013242
Where did my name go?

>>5013242

HE DIDN'T SAY THAT NOW DID HE.

XOM IS HIS OWN SNACKRIFICE, FOR DOUBLE AMUSEMENT

>>5013238
Fair enough.
Back to the 90210 drama!

Call Xom a faggot more!
That'll work!

>>5013254
How do you like me now?

>>5013279
still no eyepatch. you can't be a pirate without an eyepatch you whore.

>>5013279

Daemon pirate wenches can't have penises...like you do.

DISQUALIFIED.

>>5013264
I rolled a 1d8. I either excluded Xom and cultist, cultist and Aldwin, or Xom and Aldwin. All are the same result.

>>5013279
Where is eyepatch and parrot?

>>5013279
None of that fanservice now.
We have business to take care of
srs biznuss.

>>5013198
Looks like Cultist isn't upset with us. That's good.

Let's go and get married somewhere else.

>>5013312
Right right.

Where is Gnome? Drawing up an epic response?

>>5013214
>>5013259
You take Nana up on her offer. Finlay has the ring. If we just ask him for it...

...Where is Finlay?

>>5013319
Nice response time.

I think he's waiting for suggestions.

>>5013319
Maybe he fell asleep like Gnoll seems to.

>>5013326

oh you are fucking kidding me.

>>5013326
We can chase after Finlay some other day. Aldwin and Cultist don't need a ring to love each other.

>>5013326
Finlay ran off with our ring! The fucker!

Go find BeardBeard, raise army of expendable kobolds to get ring back.

>>5013326
So much for my snackrifice.

AMAZING!

Aldwin told Xom FUCK YOU to his face and got away with it.

Beardbeard can't do something like that.

We could just check outside. Maybe he snuck out when Xom got all bitchy to avoid any fallout.

>>5013375
Oh yes he can.

>>5013355
We're the hero. We don't conquer kobold tribes.

Besides, Aldwin has his own deck of expendable minions.

>>5013364
I'm sure it'll come up in the future man.

>>5013326

Use our cardsharp skills to pull the "Love" card out of our deck, cleanly tear it in half, and shape each half into a ring. Aldy takes the half with Cultist-chan on it, and puts the half with himself on it on Cultist-chan's finger.

If you want an explanation for how this shit can work with flimsy cards, "Heart of the Cards" and then stony silence.

>>5013383
What if it lands on somebody important next time? I kinda dodged a bullet this time.

>>5013393

This, but do without being so stupid as to obviusly rip 'love' in half

>>5013393
applause.gif

>>5013353
>>5013377
You head on out, leaving Rary to take care of the Xom problem. You can perform the ceremony without the ring, for now... oh, wait.

>>5013319
>>5013327
>>5013332
So impatient. There was only an eleven minute pause between posts, which is just as long as there usually is. I've checked these things - I average between 8 and 12 minutes between each post, towards the longer end when I have to draw 10 people in the page.

>>5013414
Have it come neatly apart in a brilliant card trick, then.

Because the real point is that each partner here gets the half that represents the other. So no matter where they are, the other one's Love is with them. And when they're together, then the two pieces fit right back where they belong.

>>5013435
Again, in before cursed ring of impotence

>>5013447

As said by Sir Paul McCartney

"The love you make is equal to the love you take"

>>5013435

Fuck yeah finlay!

>>5013435
Emperor dammit Gnome, your weirding me out by being...normal....

>>5013435

Tell him "Keep it. Given the trouble I've caused you, I think that your hat and a little starter cash are the least I could do. Don't be a stranger, yo. Unless you try to kill Goldmoon and crew again, because then I'd have to stop you."

Then go back in and do the card trick to give Cultist the Cardsharp-style ring that she deserves. Fuck that mass-produced noise, we're making her ring ourself. Well, with a little bit of help from Nemelex.

>>5013435
Thank what is presumably Finlay. Officially ask him to be the best man in our (hopefully less chaotic) second try at a wedding.

"Lets hope you can seal the deal next time, Aldwin."

>>5013503
Why does Finlay have hair if he's a zombie?

>>5013488
Let's not mention the part about Goldmoon coming back.

Speaking of which, where is she? Is she here in disguise?

>>5013503

Hug Finlay in thanks. He was almost our husband, after all.

>>5013435
>There was only an eleven minute pause between posts...

>>5013520
Goldmoon is hiding the fact she is alive from... everyone. Only you, Lily, Cultist, and Nevada know. She wishes she could be here, but alas, she had to sit out the wedding.

>>5013531

>>5013569

Great. Now. LETS GET MARRIED!

>>5013569
>your

>>5013587
The undead have poor grammar.

>>5013569
>your welcome
>your
ಠ_ಠ

ROAR.

>>5013582
Nana walks the two of you through your vows.

>>5013626
WHAT DOES THE RING DO?!?!?!?!1!?one?eleven

>>5013641

Its a Ring of Infinite Commitment. Duh.

I'm not sure which would be better: have Mado catch the bouquet, and then another blushing embarrassed Nevada-tan running away incident, or the bouquet gets blown back to Nana, and then Mace proposes to her on the spot.

It's a toughy.

>>5013658
Xom catches the bouquet, Rary proposes

"You may now kiss the... okay, you're on that already."

>>5013679

Xom eats the bouquet. Proposes to Rary.

>>5013658
>>5013679
I'll trust Gnome's judgement. Whatever happens, it will be hilarious and heartwarming.

>>5013690

Gnome wins forever for making me laugh at 2:00AM on the dot. I'm glad I stayed up for you mate.

>>5013690
Everybody, D'aww:

D'aww!

WOO!

>>5013690
And then we realize we just married Xom.

>>5013711
Shut up! Don't give Gnome ideas, he's and asshole and will make them true!

>>5013711
No, that Cultist is definitely pink. Gods are blue.

>>5013726
It's Xom in disguise. Loki helped him plan the whole thing.

Pre-emptive end of night sketch request: Aldwin and Finlay totally kissing after getting hitched by Xom.

>>5013741
Son of a bitch you beat me to it.

>>5013690

Woo Aldy! Hard to believe this started just as a chance meeting that the horndogs of /tg/ used as an excuse to vicariously flirt with an attractive girl.

Wait, Lily heard that, didn't she? Shit.

Ah, Lily, Aldy and Cultist really don't ever need to know about /tg/'s prurient interest and the role it played in their relationship, okay?

Where exactly in the hell is Coco?

>>5013796

That trail of pink... Why... it could only be... GASP!

>>5013796
WOOSH

>>5013810
The half of the vampire girl that didn't get incinerated by Beardbeard!

New thread: >>5013866