Posting mode: Reply
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 3072 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • ????????? - ??

  • File : 1246300974.jpg-(117 KB, 1000x640, 1238344746220.jpg)
    117 KB Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)14:42 No.5040480  
    I've been reading the 'Humans Are Awesome' thread, and a lot of the posts there are ridiculous.

    For example, finding us shocking for fighting each other, or being curious. All sentient lifeforms are curious by definition. No species is going to get into space on it's own steam without being aggressive, expansionist, curious and ambitious, and having all those qualities inherent in their genome.

    So let's try this again. Humans can be fucking awesome, terrifying and generally just badass.

    Use your imagination, /tg/
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)14:44 No.5040486
    Humans kick ass.

    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)14:45 No.5040493
    Humans can be fucking awesome, terrifying and generally just badass in our Imaginations.

    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)14:45 No.5040496
    I once saw a human charge a band of twenty skraaglzs. I've seen some crazy ones, too.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)14:47 No.5040504

    This is the first good "humans are awesome" post I've seen in a long time.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)14:47 No.5040505
    I actually agree. I just can't think of anything that would make us any more terrifying than any other alien.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)14:50 No.5040521
         File : 1246301421.jpg-(411 KB, 1680x1050, einstein.jpg)
    411 KB

    natural stupidity
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)14:51 No.5040533
    Humans are scary because we're fucking wild.

    There's no predicting our actions because we're so fucking unbalanced.

    And we'll do almost ANYTHING when we're scared.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)14:52 No.5040536

    "Arkevian assassins have a rule for dealing with humans; always use double the normal dosage of poison for humans. You never know what they might turn into a recreational drug next."
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)14:52 No.5040541
         File : 1246301577.jpg-(18 KB, 200x285, barbarianlunatic.full.jpg)
    18 KB
    Blatantly stolen from this.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)14:53 No.5040550
         File : 1246301635.jpg-(35 KB, 461x294, 060119_jellyfish.jpg)
    35 KB
    I was being courted by a female Undoriand, well I am pretty sure it was female. it
    had designated it's universal translator to a human female voice set and I believe I
    saw it's ovaries through its translucent bulk. If I remember correctly that is how we
    were instructed to differentiate male from female but I have a poor memory for
    xenobiology. "she" was unexpectedly funny foran alien, she had a surprisingly astute grasp of human humor. we had spent the evening imbibing our preferred drinks

    and mocking the other ambassadors and delegates over our private com link. as we fell
    further into self inflicted stupidity through drink, the tone of our conversation shifted. we started flirting with each other. I believe at first it was a joke but it soon spiraled out of control and we were actually taking an interest in each

    other. I can not speak for her mindset but I was becoming very aroused, this fueled in equal measure by the taboo of the idea and the sexy voice set she had chosen. we ended up wondering off together as the event slowed down. she lead me back to her quarters.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)14:54 No.5040555
    We have the technology and resources to have already colonies through out the solar system. But we let ourselves rule by a bunch of morons.
    >> the despoiler of threads 06/29/09(Mon)14:54 No.5040556
         File : 1246301694.jpg-(227 KB, 500x334, jellyfish.jpg)
    227 KB
    now back to my encounter. I found my self naked in her residence completely unsure as
    to what the hell I was doing. she was not any more experienced than me at this sort
    of thing and her translated voice seemed as nervous as felt. Despite her nervousness
    she had a better Idea of how this would work than I did. she took charge of the
    encounter guiding me. she instructed me to become erect. I fiddled with myself to
    provide stimulation the necessary to achieve this. she then instructed me to pierce
    her membrane with my member near an ovary. I was hesitant afraid I would damage
    her but she reassured me that this was typically of Undoriand mating. that the males
    penetrated the females flesh with their reproductive member. I sympathetically winced as I attempted to pierce her membrane. It offered some resistance at first then it tore open. I would have thought I was causing her damage if it was not for the
    orgasmic moans in my headset. I thrusted in and out rhythmically, some of her internals
    leaked out from the gash I had torn with aid of my movements. despite her appearance it was quite a pleasant encounter. she was so unlike a human it was just like masturbating and
    her flesh seemed to have and stimulating effect that was almost electrical. it was
    like an amped up stimulating lube.
    >> the despoiler of threads 06/29/09(Mon)14:55 No.5040560
         File : 1246301732.jpg-(232 KB, 640x480, jellyfish2.jpg)
    232 KB
    her moans and and the physical sensation she provided ensured that I quickly
    climaxed. spilling myself inside of her. I apologized and she asked me what for. to
    be honest I wasn't sure what I was apologizing for but I felt like I should apologize for something. she gushed that was the best sex she has ever had that it lasted forever.she informed me that her species sex was just a brief transfer of DNA alone and the act of penetration was the pleasurable part. she divulged further that she had learned about human biology and speculated that they could be Superior consorts and that she had studied in depth human mating rituals and found that humor played a impotent roll.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)14:56 No.5040565
    These "humans are awesome "posts are of dubious /tg relevance. Also, they are flawed, based on the assumption that other races will lack basic characteristics, like battle rage or determination .Or that we will somehow outnumber them. Or that we are just all crazy and shit.
    I dunno, I see no need to turn our flawed species into some kind of Mary sue.
    >> the despoiler of threads 06/29/09(Mon)14:56 No.5040566
         File : 1246301769.jpg-(20 KB, 450x340, Pic1314.jpg)
    20 KB
    I stood nude and flaccid in front of my grotesque lover realizing I had been manipulated the entire night by a blob of jello. she had practically poured the alcohol down my
    throat and spent the entire night flattering me just so I would end up bedding
    her. a shudder of realization rolled through me, the realization of what I had just done. I dressed myself and left, I got no impression she wanted to cuddle. and that is the end of my story, I have yet to receive child support bills on the behave of
    twisted eldritch horrors wearing my face yet. so I believe I got away with every but my pride and a few ounces of liquid.

    I am pretty sure they were ovaries
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:00 No.5040594

    We're talking about the soldiers and the mercenaries.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:03 No.5040615

    That's an oddly sexy story.

    And behalf is spelled like <---, not like behave.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:04 No.5040620
    umm... that was kind of hot... where can we find more of this......
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:04 No.5040625
    >played a impotent roll
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:05 No.5040630
    Humans suck.. we are fucking retarded and we will wipe ourselves out before we get past our solar system, you think we had colony problems across an ocean, Earth vs. Mars.. Deathmatch.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:05 No.5040632
    >Also, they are flawed, based on the assumption that other races will lack basic characteristics, like battle rage or determination .Or that we will somehow outnumber them. Or that we are just all crazy and shit.

    that was sort of the point of it, construct a setting where humans are the ultimate badass of the universe rather than being vastly inferior like we are in 99% of sifi
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:06 No.5040637
    Humans are strangely unique in the speed and creativity they possess towards creating things that are, almost ironically, used for destruction. While most races have advanced space travel, biomass replicators, medical technologies and other systems far beyond human measure, the humans are the inventors of weapons technoligies that baffle other races.

    "I can understand wanting to put weapons on your ships. But how in the name of Khavardis did you manage to make a ship that has the sole purpose of BEING a gun?"
    "What? Military vessels are an asset in this galaxy."
    "Well yes, gunships are fine. But those ships tend to just have guns ON them. You guys built the giant cannon FIRST, and THEN put a gun on it."
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:08 No.5040645
    Ah yes, the A-10 design philosophy
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:09 No.5040652
         File : 1246302557.jpg-(1019 KB, 2117x1411, Dutch_F-16.jpg)
    1019 KB
    My idea was to have the humans who settled the Extra-Terrestrial Solar System to be not only the cream of humanity but to have them work on the human genetic code. Chiefly how instinct works genetically.

    These future humans are not only super intelligent and perfect physically, but they also have advanced skill based instincts.

    What makes them scary to aliens? What if every human is born with extensive instinctive military knowledge as a result of some war and the colonists having an urgent need for natural born soldiers? Imagine being able to just -know- how to operate a rifle? How to clean it? How to shoot accurately? Etc
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:10 No.5040664

    >You guys built the giant cannon FIRST, and THEN put a gun on it
    >THEN put a gun on it

    Yes, because you can never have enough firepower
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:11 No.5040671

    I think the original idea was based on the fact that human are always portrayed as either jack-of-all-trades or underdogs in SF works and games.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:12 No.5040678
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:12 No.5040679

    This species is known as orks
    >> the despoiler of threads 06/29/09(Mon)15:13 No.5040683
    I did not spend any time proof reading my thread shitting
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:13 No.5040684
    I'm talking humans from good settings.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:15 No.5040696
    Humans are pretty awesome. But I'm going to agree with the OP a little in that some of the posts in the threads have been a little over the top (entertaining as hell though). I suppose, to cater to the whim of the OP we should look at what makes humans human, and what makes aliens so alien.

    >aggressive, expansionist, curious, ambitious

    Pick 3. Now you have Aliens.

    Personally, I'm almost tempted to try and writefag something about a reasonably peaceful, primitive, herbivorous gather race who are unfortunate enough to have humanity land on their world.

    They came from beyond the sky, beyond the moons, like burning stars falling from the heavens; the Gods who walked amongst us...
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:16 No.5040712
         File : 1246302999.jpg-(20 KB, 400x300, zap.jpg)
    20 KB
    like any alien that zap brannigan encounters?
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:17 No.5040717

    Humans as smart, technologically proficient Orks could work very well.

    Take the idea of 'Orks' but remove all the 40k tropes like the ugliness,stupidity etc
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:18 No.5040725
         File : 1246303085.jpg-(172 KB, 1273x809, gau8mindblow.jpg)
    172 KB
    >> Agouri !!Q+SCob6iFc6 06/29/09(Mon)15:18 No.5040731

    You sir, are not only awesome, but also in my mind.

    Come to think of it, the human race was definetely bloodthirsty as fuck...
    >> Buzz Killington 06/29/09(Mon)15:19 No.5040738
    Yesterday some people were commenting on how we 'breathe rocket fuel'.
    Chemis/tg/uru here. The reason that oxygen is a decent substance to breathe is the same that it's a decent substance to burn; with the proper reaction, it's possible to get a lot of energy out of it. Enough to sustain an animal. In fact, if you condense it enough, and make it liquid, it's a decent rocket propellant.

    All aliens will probably breathe similarly reactive substances.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:19 No.5040739

    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:19 No.5040742
    I took another swig of the alcoholic beverage, the human behind the bar called the substance bourbon but the word meant nothing to me. I needed to be inebriated immediately. Things had gone bad, everything had seemed to be going well, and then our newest addition to the crew had betrayed us. A damn human, I should have known better than to hire one. They get their greasy skin over everything and their petulant aroma can overwhelm one of me species on one of their bad days. They’re simply disgusting, but we needed a gunman. Humans are some of the best marksmen in the galaxy, and for our latest assignment we needed one. I just didn’t know how easy they are to tempt. The Jokll have many of the same problems humans do, crime, murder, war, those things, but the moral fabric of our kind at least prevents us from betraying those we work with. A human’s allegiance is simply to the highest bidder.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:21 No.5040750
    Except autotrophic aliens.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:23 No.5040761

    OP here.

    This is what I'm talking about. I guess you could say I want to make humans badass in a 'hard sci-fi' way.

    We shouldn't be taking away necessary attributes from Aliens to make humans badass, it takes too much suspension of disbelief.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:23 No.5040763
    This is the very question I have found myself asking. I'm currently writing a story about humanity finding itself at war with a race of intelligent mollusks who have lived at the bottom of the ocean since before the dawn of man.

    The Mollusks find us frightening because anything that can not only survive but thrive in the parched, barren wasteland that is the surface must be a monster.

    I mean, how can anything even live up there, much less create a civilization? You're exposed to the sun and the fickle temperatures of the atmosphere. At least in the abyss you have miles of ocean water between you and deadly solar radiation. Plus, you have to live without water sometimes for days. Without the embrace of the water you have to deal with crushing gravity. I can't imagine how strong a life form that grew up in such conditions must be. These monsters are solid muscle. They can tear our tentacles away with minimal effort. I'm often glad for the cold embrace of my exo-frame that keeps me far away from these beasts and their disgusting lateral symmetry and tough, leathery monochrome skin.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:24 No.5040773
    Because we can turn our hand to almost anything or anyone. A human who puts their entire life into something, can learn it easily in a short time no matter how difficult it is. A difficult university degree takes only several years, a small fraction of time to learn in depth everything there is to know about a single subject is a very compacted and small learning period, races who live hundred or thousands of years will be amazed by that.
    We're versatile enough to live in a multitude of enviroments and adapt during a single lifetime to these enviroments (Constant exposure to cold causes hair growth, to heat causes tanning, to poison causes us to become immune) and even though we preffer not to we can live for extended periods in very unpleasent conditions (famine, plauge, being hunted.)
    And most importantly, we are all unique, we share only maybe 4 or 5 basic desires universally (Shelter, companionship, food, water, survival being the ones I can think of.) otherwise it is impossible to find a common ground in which you can say "All humans are/like/dislike XXX".
    We're driven not only by logic but by insane impulse and total imbalance, it's not so much that we fight, but we fight over the most insane reasons, varying from mild insults to wild baseless accusations which we're basing on a 'gut feeling'. A human being, no matter how logical we like to think ourselves uses a heavily emotional thought process, everything is tainted by what we feel and those feelings can change at any time, we may start a war based on bad blood from years ago based on the smallest of slights resurfacing or forgive someone who insulted the thing closes to our hearts based on not pragmatism but on emotion.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:25 No.5040780
    Abusing this line of thought in a slightly off-topic direction:

    The humans had quite an interest in our atmosphere for reasons we did not at first fully comprehend. They could not breathe it, and as our first near disastrous encounters discovered, it was particularly degenerative to their bodies as well. What we discovered later was that the chemicals that made up our breathable atmosphere were the key chemicals used in the star drives of the humans’ vessels...
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:25 No.5040784
    We also only focus on a very narrow thing at a time, we can ignore the murder and genocide of entire peoples or the slow painful starvation of an entire country or planet, but then rally like a storm to find or help a single person or cause simply because it seems right emotionally and it's in the open while there are others which are much worse but more distant or less obvious to us. Any race with empathy or a hive mind would find this sickening, how can we leave thousands of our own to die while spending millions on saving one?
    That is why humans are terrifying, we are unquantifiable, emotional and focused as a race.
    A human is like a Flashlight, it points in a single direction, blazing off into the darkness in the directon it is pointed, humanity, is like a ball of flashlights, millions of them, light beams from it in every direction with a blazing insanity and wild beaming intelligence.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:27 No.5040793

    Humans have shit eyesight, would make shit marksmen. Try harder.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:27 No.5040796
    Humans suck.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:28 No.5040800
    Things humans might realistically be better at than your average alien:

    Endurance and persistence. Humans occupy an obscure niche with their long distance hunting strategy and other sapient races aren't likely to have the ability to exert themselves for such a long time or the bloody minded determination of a human with a target to go for.

    Lying. Humans are the only known species with the ability to decieve each other. Normal species may well be much less capable of constructing consistent lies. On the other hand, maybe this is a universal ability for social animals above a certain level of intelligence.

    Chemical and environmental tolerance. More likely though is that all aliens seem suprisingly capable of withstanding some chemicals and environmental conditions and suprisingly bad at others from another species' point of view.

    Staying up late at night. Earth is probably really unusual in having a huge moon, so night on alien worlds is going to be really dark. This means that there will be a significant division between nocturnal and diurnal species. Humans have adapted to be semi-capable after dark and combined with our endurance this allows us to vary our sleeping patterns as needed.

    Inter-species empathy. Humans domesticated dogs about 15,000 years ago and this probably gives us a cultural edge in dealing with non-human species. Unless a particular group of aliens have a naturally occuring symbiotic relationship with another species on their homeworld, of course. Or they domesticated animals even earlier than we did.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:29 No.5040803
    I like the concept, but keep in mind that at exceptional depths, water becomes denser. (Pressure, and whatnot.)

    Which makes it harder to displace, or move, as the same sized object, moving in the same motion, has to move more water out of it's way, and more is being sucked into the place behind it, slowing it down.

    Now, it could be that say, a tentacle is strong, in terms of what it can do, but is not strong in terms of how much integrity it has. (can be ripped off/apart.)
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:29 No.5040808

    Things had started easy enough; we met up with our contractor where they said our shipment would be coming in. I had squad of eight, five other Joklls and myself, a Cvryn, and the human, who stayed behind on a ridge to watch our backs if anything bad went down. A human rode up on a giant four legged animal they called a horse and behind him several of their primitive carbon spewing trucks pulled up behind him with the goods. They were unpacked and after a quick inspection they gave us our first payment, five thousand credits now, another eight thousand once we delivered it to their customers. Things went smooth enough; our human marksman came back to us once we made it back to the ship. We didn’t know where he had been off to, we didn’t ask, he had just assumed he was tailing us to cover our backs, since he was a new member of the pack and all.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:29 No.5040809

    1g is far less crushing than the pressure at the bottom of the ocean. Also how would any advanced technology be developed at the bottom of the ocean?
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:29 No.5040813
    For one of these threads I wrote a story which culminated in a group of aliens being amazed at the unique natural skill of the human species.

    [spoilers don't work on /tg/]It was the ability to throw stuff.[/spoilers don't work on /tg/]
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:30 No.5040814
    Not really interested in contributing, but you have a really fucking chauvinistic view of extraterrestrial development. Why couldn't a species develop in a completely different way? Since we only have one recorded example of the development of life (i.e. humans), we can't really make any judgements. We might be a flook, for all we know, and any other life we meet might have a very different basis or mentality. You can't make such simple judgements.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:31 No.5040821
    Hey man, if it works for us then it is bound to work for something else. Frankly, you are the one with the chauvinistic view.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:35 No.5040843

    Because our traits are only the traits necessary for survival.

    As far as I can tell, human traits are universal sentient traits.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:35 No.5040847
    >What if every human is born with extensive instinctive military knowledge as a result of some war

    Change of tactics? IMPOSSIBLE! They're fighting another sort of war than the one we're used to...DOES NOT COMPUTE! They'd be like armadillos jumping into cars because THATS WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE THE LIGHT!

    There's a fucking reason why learning is part of pretty much every higher species' makeup. It's efficient, it's flexible and it'll make you survive against impossible odds genectic can't calculate for.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:35 No.5040849

    Its not with bare eyesight stupid, scopes, dexterity, agility, strength. As long as we have magnification to extend our sights our steady hands would take the face off of any creature caught in them.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:36 No.5040854
    Depends on the humans. Read about Aborigines.
    Which reminds me of another way humans are awesome. Humans in Australia quadrupled the quality of their eyesight in just over 40,000 years? And that's without a very strong selective pressure towards good vision. We evolve FAST.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:37 No.5040861

    Also: Genetic recombination. Have fun with doublettes in your genetic knowledge.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:38 No.5040869
    i think humanity is a pretty cool guy. eh kills terrorists and doesn't afraid of anything.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:40 No.5040878
    That's because the only sentients you've ever met were humans.
    If that's the argument you're using, why don't you apply it to all the other species? If humans get to augment their senses and motors, so do all the other species, and any natural advantages we have in our bodies become moot.

    I think humans' greatest strength is our unquenchable willingness to modify ourselves to fit an ideal.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:40 No.5040879
    Humans have particularly good hand-eye coordination which are extremely important when reacting to conditions on a battlefield or a firefight.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:40 No.5040880
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:41 No.5040884
    op here lol sup nigga´z check out 4chen's new adresss: www.anonloltalk.com (remove lol)

    > jpjgyghdoyjgnhhyngmc
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:41 No.5040885

    So do all animals.

    And an Aborigine has awful eyesight compared to a dog.

    The thing is, we tend to trade off physical ability with mental ability. I would imagine other sentient races would too.

    I think any advantages we would have would have to be created by ourselves using genetic or technological manipulation.

    Transhumans vs transaliens, because the basic attributes of normal humans and normal aliens would be similar.

    Maybe whilst other aliens have some kind of external influence making them go the peaceful route - ie massive brains but neglecting physical ability. Like 'grey's. They would have no incentive to be big and strong.

    So perhaps a galactic civilisation which puts pressure on species to take their own evolution down such a route in exchange for membership.

    This civilisation would of course have a tough as nails army.

    Maybe humans are outside of this influence, and have first contact with the civilisation/empire/federation/whatever after taking their evolution into their own hands and making themselves truly badass.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:42 No.5040893

    I'm not saying a species can't develop in the same way. I'm just saying, given the vast number of possibilities and so on, there is always the chance humans are the freak of nature. Looking at it statistically, we have such a minute sample size we really can't make any judgements. Saying "Oh its silly because sentient races Have to have certain things" is an incredibly unscientific logical fallacy.


    We have one example of a sentient species. One. We cannot, with any degree of scientific accuracy, make any judgements about the development of sentients until we discover at least one other example, and more would be preferable.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:42 No.5040894

    Most animals don't have hands so it's not very harrd to be da best.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:42 No.5040897
    Humans are stupid.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:46 No.5040912

    Humans are VERY similar to most Mammals, Reptiles, Birds etc

    We're just sentient. There's nothing out of the ordinary about human evolution. We aren't the freak of nature by an stretch of the imagination.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:48 No.5040932
    >The thing is, we tend to trade off physical ability with mental ability. I would imagine other sentient races would too.

    not really, we traded dogs nightvision and for colour vision. and we rely primarily on our well developed eyesight so we didnt evolve the smell/hearing some animals have
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:49 No.5040935

    Were talking about aliens here. The very structure of life itself on earth might be a freak, or might be one of hundreds of alternate forms, which for whatever reason failed on earth. We have too small a sample size to tell. One planet is not enough to make any form of informed judgements on exobiology.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:49 No.5040940

    Four times better eyesight than normal? Huh, the more you know.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:50 No.5040951
         File : 1246305032.jpg-(35 KB, 575x575, 224596-nihlus_super.jpg)
    35 KB

    Turian discovered
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:52 No.5040964
    While entertaining, this will always end with Humans as Mary Sues with the assumption our traits are unique. A real alien has to be ALIEN, something beyond our understanding - and we would be beyond that of the alien.
    Also, fuck your herbivorous species. You cannot attain sapience without an omnivorous diet at least.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:54 No.5040980
    i liked the one about the humans who were locked up in the secure cells.
    The one with the six foot fence
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:54 No.5040986
    Limb-eye coordination then you nigger since you have to have everything spelled out for you
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:56 No.5040997

    Your second statement seems to contravene your first. Also, why would the standardised definitions of "Herbivore" or "Carnivore" always apply? There might be strange systems completely beyond our current understanding, or plantoids with characteristics allowing them to support the increase in brain size which caused our sapience- although, this might also be unnecessary. Imagine a species whose entire body functioned as part of their mind, every appendage and skin flap. Physical violence would be taboo and dangerous, as causing permanent mental damage would be easy, and yet with such great intelligence and control over their bodies, they could accomplish much.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)15:56 No.5041004
    >You cannot attain sapience without an omnivorous diet at least.
    parrots come pretty close and they get their fat and protein for their brains from a diet high in seeds and nuts
    >> Sheep 06/29/09(Mon)15:59 No.5041020
    And until then, we break it down to whites vs. blacks, men vs. women, americans vs. europeans etc.
    So who's to say the rest of the world won't join us and be America Global when the alien threat comes?
    It's the only logical choice.
    >> Captain Mistartees !IOn62dDZwI 06/29/09(Mon)16:02 No.5041035
    >>implying that the world would unite under america's banner

    I guess you never heard of the UN?
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:03 No.5041041
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:04 No.5041042
    Humans have this curious train of thought in which considerations become meaningless. Not prejudice or stupidity, but just souless action. They have tales about "spartan laconics" and "aphatics" that show early signs of these traits. This is why they are chosen as low-level diplomats. For many eons, tolerance of the new has been a problem for peaceful convivence and with them... the brain shuts off and things keep on.

    The first ones to hold true friendship with the absent-minded Cillyans, "slugs" as they were called, were humans. Granted, they fought them and despised them, but when things got quiet between storms, you had them talking to them as if they were their closest relatives. And then you had humans claiming Cyllians to be their friends.

    Ever since then, the first diplomatic envoys are usually humans. Insults and negations will be had, battles will be fought... but give them a minute of that mindless state that emotions cause when their brains are blown away by wearyness, and they will make magic happen.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:04 No.5041046
    high energy grass analogue.
    Sessile animals as food source, they look and act like grass but are a delicious field of steak.
    natural bio reactors in aliens bellies.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:05 No.5041056
    “Right listen up you leather bellied waxmunchers, the captains been hearin’ a lot of chatter round the camp about the humans recently. The captain wants your dear old sarge to put you sumpsucking grubs straight on a few facts. He reckons you ought to show ‘em a bit more respect or yor gonna get yourselves killed acting like fresh hatched claws straight out of boot. Stow it K’lebl, it’s the cap’s words not mine. No, you grubs listen to sarge. It’s been 50 years since they came out of the western spiral arm, big bad and looking for trouble. 50 years and the Congressional alliance has only just kept em back. They’re supposed to be tougher then girders, crazier than a Dopian waterpig with the pox. But I’ll tell you the truth of the matter. I’ve been to Earth, seen what humans are really like. Forget their reps as the galaxies biggest badasses, most humans ain’t held a gun in their life. They spend more on feeding their poor than they do on the entire colonial fleet. Hell, they spend more on ART than they do on the fleet. They’re nothing more than a species of farmers, teachers and shop assistants.
    I see yor grinnin’ now boys. Thinks thats good news do ya. God gave you two brains so use ‘em. You’d have to be as blind as a Pavlovian cavebat to not see what that means. It means that the war we’ve been fighting for the past fifty years, the war thats occupied the attentions of every man women and hatchling in congressional space is seen by humans as nothing more than a minor border dispute. The combined military force of three separate species is nothing more than an unfortunate distraction. You laugh at the humans if you want boys. But you better pray to your gods that we never manage to get their full attention. The day we do we’re fu......”
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:05 No.5041058

    Somehow, long in humanities past, they captured large groups of creatures twice their size and thrice their strength, and began breeding them. For clothes, for food, for labor saving. Our people, upon encountering these creatures, were extremely frightened and challenged them to an honor duel. When the beast refused, our warriors flew into a blood fury. Examination of the remains didn't reveal any cybernetic implants, and analysis didn't reveal any mind control drugs.

    These humans are more impressive than we thought. We shall bring samples of these cattle home to you queen mother, so that you might be awed by their grace and beauty.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:07 No.5041067
    On a galactic scale, humans are not "awesome." They're just terrifyingly insane.

    Humans build, and innovate, and unite, and grow strong through unity. Yet, when they reach a point at which the single most beneficial course of action - for everyone involved - would be selfless cooperation, they instead break off into smaller groups and begin destroying one another through political, financial, social, and military means. This behavior is reflected in every stratum of their society - from inter-family feuds to anti-gay-marriage campaigners to racial supremacists to jingoistic republics to multinational alliances formed to crush other multinational alliances.

    Humans are scary as all fucking hell, just because they absolutely cannot be trusted and can only be reasoned with over the short term. Sooner or later their mercurial, violence-obsessed society will shift, as it always does, and then they'll have soldiers one your doorstep, massacring your people and pillaging all of your resources. And the worst part? Ten years later, their society will be back to berating itself and mourning the "terrible mistake" of attacking your people, even as elements within it prepare for another attack against another "enemy."
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:11 No.5041090
    If we make it into the stars with FTL travel and start colonizing planets. We'll be the scariest motherfuckers in the galaxy.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:12 No.5041099
    Enjoy your mad-cow disease, alien freaks.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:28 No.5041232
    In a story universe I'm working on, humanity is nothing special. The galaxy is like a big Internet with FTL-travel using portal technology, so similar species tend to congregate. There's starports for oxygen-breathing carbon-based lifeforms, etc. which I use to explain why most of the alien species the protagonist will encounter are not horribly alien. Some will even have two legs and two arms.

    Anyhow, what makes humans special in this setting is that humanity is a species non grata because Earth lies smack dab in the middle of one of the tentacles of Equivalent-To-Azathoth, making humanity the proteges of an unknown, yet horrifying, cosmic horror. Basically, humans are Mi-Go.
    >> Sheep 06/29/09(Mon)16:29 No.5041248
    Trolling successful.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:32 No.5041266
    Problem I have with these kinds of threads

    Way too many people write the aliens as space elves
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:33 No.5041280
         File : 1246307599.png-(85 KB, 749x1248, whattrollswantyoutobelieve.png)
    85 KB
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:36 No.5041305
    Humans have amazing long-term endurance. Even out-of-shape ones who spend their time behind a computer can get up, get out, and walk for eight hours in the heat without food or water. When they're fit and in shape, they can run longer on foot than almost anything else before they tire. Talk about a well-adapted plains creature!
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:37 No.5041319
    we are the tau
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:42 No.5041365
    Humans can hang out in an atmosphere that's like up to 30% oxygen and they don't oxidize! No special suits or anything!
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:43 No.5041371
    Man humans have such amazing neuroplasticity that they accept cybernetic implants innately, no problems, no genetic engineering or Neural Scaffolds required. And get this- they figure out how to use them ON THEIR OWN. No school or training necessary!
    >> No Man 06/29/09(Mon)16:44 No.5041383


    Who funds it, dumbass?
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:44 No.5041388
    Humans invented Nuclear Fission during the Nation Age of their development, and they DIDN'T ANNIHILATE THEMSELVES. Think about that, in the Galactic Annals there's like a 2% rate of that shit occurring, it's not even considered a possibility.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:47 No.5041404

    What's worse, they accomplished it through a policy of "deterrence." That's right, they built TENS OF THOUSANDS of high-yield nuclear weapons, and then proceeded to do nothing with them but threaten one another for decades. If that's how a human delivers a threat, I shudder to imagine how one tries to end a war.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:48 No.5041411
    Oh my god this species invented the Distributed Data Network model and implemented it, unconsciously, until almost their whole planet could access their Archives. No years of studies, no grand international effort, nothing like that, they were just individually like "hey this is a cool idea". Can you imagine if our people were like that?
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:49 No.5041418
    I wrote one of the fictions in that giant thread yesterday, but I have to agree with the OP, any space fairing species would need to be inherently curious. Also, I can imagine that any space fairing alien race would have a very similar war record as humans. Life is conflict, we are just smart enough to wage it on a larger scale. The rest of the universe is no exception, life exists to conflict with itself, it was an ever evolving and self perfecting system. There is no natural selection unless someone is dying.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:51 No.5041435
    You speak as if the "nation age" is over. We have the capacity to destroy our entire planet, the only thing stopping us is the fact that you can't "win" a nuclear holocaust. That is also why religion is so dangerous, it is going to end the world because what else could convince someone to?
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:52 No.5041441
    Any space faring race that we can understand needs inherent curiosity, agreed.

    On the other hand, there's the Chaga.

    Check out Evolution's Shore.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:53 No.5041446
    Each individual human is self-directed. They don't need all this high-energy direction from above, each is an independently processing individual. And dig this- you get two of them, JUST TWO OF THEM and they can populate a planet, evolve a culture and be the top predator in like 1500 cycles. YOU CANNOT KILL THESE THINGS. When the Mind Virus hit the Traalek capital in GY 20.330, that was it, boom, no more Traaleks. When it hit the humans they made it into a popular song.

    Fucking Hell! They play and toy with the weapons that end other cultures!
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:53 No.5041450
    Humans aren't great. We have to invent caricatures that could never exist in real life, things so weak they could never function, things so stupid and placid that the only emotion they are capable of feeling is fear from humans.

    We need cardboard cutouts to feel good about ourselves, not plywood ones because plywood is too strong.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:54 No.5041455
    No I speak as if we're the future and the Nation Age is over, you goober.
    >> Unto the Royal Council: Humanity 06/29/09(Mon)16:54 No.5041457
    How a race that has yet to achieve singular planetary control but has achieved interstellar travel and colonization is a grand mystery to our own scientist-philosophers. It was until fairly recently thought that only a strong centralized power would be able to expand a species’ interests both into space and in interspecies diplomacy. It seems a farce then to see the human contingent to the Galactic Forum as simply representatives to the myriad nation states and colonies of their race as opposed to one strong imperial power as should be.

    This mish match of ambassadors then DARE to preach to us the wonders of their individuality and their freedoms, as if they think us as equals or indeed that every member of species is an equal. Their society is only very loosely divided in caste systems for every member of their race can participate in the organization of their society. How absurd, how can a lower caste member even be considered equal to a higher caste member or be able to influence the way government is run? Even their backwards religions convey equality and tolerance among all members of a race and indeed between all races.
    >> Unto the Royal Council: Humanity 06/29/09(Mon)16:55 No.5041467

    The humans are only interested in sowing disorder and anarchy to the stars for what else could be explained their actions in intergalactic politics? They have refused to apologize for their chaotic influences and in plain sight that even a hatching can see have been actively encouraging it.

    The brutish Vorhams once vassals to the Empire of Corvu through rights of conquest, staged a violent rebellion that overthrew the imperial viceroy. And before the Corvians could respond, the human race had been quick to introduce the Vorhams into the galactic forum without consent from any other races. Indeed, the signing of alliance and friendship between the races limits the actions that an already overstretched Corvian Empire can do. The news of Vorhams signing enmass as soldiers for the Humans shows a less than completely altruistic side of human behaviour.

    The Yasserits, a scattering of space farers that we had warred in the past and had gloriously reduced their worlds into ash and cinder were offered an entire world for resettlement by the humans! How obvious to all the levels humanity seeks to gain leverages and advantages against the established races. Now the Yasserits have sworn eternal bonds to their human masters as they settle into their new world and dream of revenge and slaughter against our people. It should be noted that human starship technology “mysteriously” leapt 2 entire generations after this charade.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:56 No.5041469
    Okay no I've got this.

    They discovered the calculus. Before they even discovered electricity.

    'nuff said.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)16:58 No.5041485
    They took their goddamn time wondering what a lightning bolt was, then.

    Or do you mean electronics? In which case: Good luck with that shit without solving Zeno's Paradox.
    >> Unto the Royal Council: Humanity 06/29/09(Mon)17:00 No.5041493

    The true nature of humanity is not one of benevolent peacemakers and explorers as they often boast to be, but one of manipulators and anarchists. Even now their taint of “equality”, “freedom of expression” and “liberty” has spread to all races. The Empire of Corvu is being wracked by a full fledge civil war on its colony worlds, selfish colonists who think they can think for themselves. Within the hives of the Hruuthud, the worker drones have started protests until safety protocols are instituted, refusing to better the greater good of their hives. Even within our own Imperium the lower caste trash are demanding certain rights that would raise their status in life to be comparable to ours, simply unbelievable!

    While it would be presumtious for someone in my station to suggest to the royalty on what direction to our race in. Humanity possesses absolutely no beneficial traits and if left to their own devices will completely ruin intergalactic society.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:02 No.5041513
    Read "Blindsight," by Peter Watts.

    It's by far the most compelling, uplifting, and well written book I've ever read on the subject of Humans kicking ass. It really makes you think.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:04 No.5041516
    Okay so one of these plains apes studies the chemical properties of the elements, and plots them out by weight and property such that he actually *predicts the discovery of later elements*. He does this, I shit you not, *in the age of black iron industry*, using shit like scales and thermometers. The table he writes predicts the discovery of electrons and arrangement of their orbits, 100 cycles before the electron model is proposed.

    TWO OF THEM DO THIS WITHIN MONTHS OF EACH OTHER, INDEPENDENTLY. No hardwire or anything. Just a low-level species-wide psychic link that some of them disputed the existence of well into the space age.

    And oh wait: did I say the electron model was proposed a mere 100 cycles after the Black Iron Industrial Age? You bet your ass I did! These fucking plains apes go from the Age of Sail to Quantum Fucking Computing in 300 cycles.

    What the shit!
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:05 No.5041524
    humans reproduction is thoroughly inefficient. instead of producing self sufficient eggs from a paring they require their spawn to host inside a secondary creature. they call these things "females". "females" appear to be a modified egg and have no purpose outside of breeding and hosting the larvae, they are physically frail compared to the "male". (what we typically encounter and refer to as human) Further perplexing that these specialized eggs are very inefficient, one would think they would be swollen with young but you would be wrong. they typically only produce one young at a time over a period of 9 months and upward maxim of twelve to fifteen over their life, and most don't even achieve that! and the larvae are born mindless and unable to care for themselves taking years to be self sufficient. all in all their life cycle is needlessly complex and inefficient
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:06 No.5041528
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:09 No.5041543

    Instead of just making humanity space orks, I imagined humanity as the only race to value freedom of speech, religion and having democratic style governments.

    The other races, all federal powers that manage a space empire are not sure how to deal with a fragmented race suppose to convey the thought of every citizen on the planet. It seems contrary to what a successive society should be, individuality placed over collectivism.

    Free media and free internet are of especially big concerns, allowing anyone to gather and talk about anything. While this takes place, we start gathering allies, the down trodden and powerless and they become close allies of our race and become inspired to fight back against the status quo.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:12 No.5041562
    You think all of that shit is scary, you muggrubbers should hear what happened to the Uun'er'ue.

    Remember those guys, ran war like others play Darjardek, take the king and it's all over, hive mind race who would take a hostage from each battle as a trophy and to force an end to the war, yeah those guys.

    They tried that shit on the humans, taking the daughter of some random tradesman, now their government turned their back on him, refused to do anything. The Tradesman, I think his name was Dijarko Fiyet or something, he sold his ship and bought a gun and a smaller ship and trained in something the humans a 'Gym-nasy-erm'.

    Thee of their Lunar cycles later he falls down through the atmosphere of the Uun'er'ue homeworld and smashes his ship STRAIGHT INTO THEIR CAPITAL!
    Unsurvivable right? Nope, he climbed out the wreckage wearing some sort of armour, think they call them crash suits and Started shooting the shit out of anything is sight. The Uun'er'ue didn't stand a chance, he waided through their workers while they tried to send a communication to the human government warning them that if the didn't stop they'd start a war, their government didn't know anything about it and the guy ended up shooting their queen's head off to get his daughter back.

    One of them with no training killed an entire species by himself, and the thing is...one of my human friends tell me that the weapon he was using was called a handgun, that's their weakest weapon that they use for fighting! And he was using their weapons against them, no training, nothing, just picked up pointed and fired them.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:18 No.5041599
    Did you know it was a coterie of six humans who invented the Universal Music Translator that translates the emotions evoked by native music into rhythms and frequencies and sense modes comprehensible to, yet still exotic for, other species?

    Like what else brought the galaxy together more than cross-species concerts?

    I guess you friggin Corvans think that's bad news. Buzzkills.

    Also humans discovered marijuana.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:18 No.5041603
    Is this an Anime reference I am not getting?
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:20 No.5041615
    We have determined through our few contacts that 'Terran' animals are all unusually robust in stature, having a high tolerance for continual high gravitational fields.
    Further study has revealed that their home planet has an iron core several times larger than that seen on any other inhabited planet in this spiral arm. The massive density of their planet with such a thin atmosphere explains their resistance to crushing forces.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:21 No.5041622
    So basically....it's Soviet breakaway states IN SPACE?
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:24 No.5041652
    Well that's just a typical K-selector species. And as for being born mindless, well that puts them on par with the average Gurundi, amirite?
    And we know that both the Humans and the Gurundi are notable for being the most emotionally and intellectually and socially flexible species out there. They'd probably marry each other if the humans weren't so weird looking.
    Remember that Human ambassador at the Arcton/Staatek Peace Accord? Remember that line, "After all, we must assume that the Arctons love their podlings too"? Had the whole place secreting grief-pheromones. Who thinks like that?

    They and the Gurundians, at the Apex University, invented a whole discipline about it- "Xeno-psychology". Amazing.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:24 No.5041653

    This, actually.
    Hell, one of us might conceivably pull a stunt like that out of sheer umbrage.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:26 No.5041676
    An un-augmented human once punched a hole in a Tarnian battle-harness. This is documented.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:31 No.5041706

    The Hruuthudian Hives have just recently been introduced to twitter and the internet by a clandestine human black ops unit known as the "Hipsters".

    A new bout of protests and a forum of communication between the rebellious worker drones is going to end in a blood bath.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:32 No.5041715
    I've always characterized humans as deadly, populated, short-lived vermin, like rats equipped with heavy weaponry.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:33 No.5041724
    I will say this against them- being born on that eden-world of theirs means they're really metabolically expensive. A Tarnian can live for a whole cycle on what a human eats in a day.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:35 No.5041733
    Wow, rebellious Hruthudians? That's like a square circle.

    Maybe humans are what you get when you just have a species exposed to constant and total anarchy for tens of thousands of cycles.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:37 No.5041746
         File : 1246311421.jpg-(58 KB, 272x353, 1242142188273.jpg)
    58 KB
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:37 No.5041751
    ITT fat worthless nerds proud of themselves for being humans


    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:38 No.5041759
    We don't allow humans in the Guard for just this reason. They eat too much and they don't follow orders.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:39 No.5041763
         File : 1246311570.jpg-(282 KB, 608x1000, Spots.jpg)
    282 KB

    What? No.

    Humans have some of the best eyes on this planet, second only to birds of prey. We can (as the song says) see for miiiiiiles and miiiiiiles and miiiiiles.....

    Hell, the only place our vision falters is in the "night vision" department because we have full color vision.


    Fun fact: "Humans are Insane" was the orignal name of the original thread from a few months back that sparked this. It's achieved on suptg, I think. Had some awesome posts after some of the hilariously insane things we do, like put mild neurotoxins on our food for flavor.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:41 No.5041772
    Rats are the symbiotic lifeform partner of humans. They are used in studies about human BEHAVIOUR and MEDICINE. Humans in time have used them for everything from colonization to social models.

    Almost all planetary habitated sectors hold a "no rats" policy.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:41 No.5041776
         File : 1246311702.jpg-(376 KB, 1024x741, Mantis_Shrimp_1_by_nathy21.jpg)
    376 KB
    Mantis Shrimp would like to have a word with you...

    Come closer to Mantis Shrimp, please.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:42 No.5041783
    nothing beats the mantis shrimp, they are like machines when it comes to seeing (and killing)
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:43 No.5041786
    Our ability to detect movement isn't brilliant either, but we're much better at resolving things that would be invisible to most animals.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:44 No.5041800
    "The thing about evolving on a death world is that you don't really realise you're doing so until you get the chance to leave it. Up to that point the presence of carnivorous monsters, venemous micropredators, extreme climatic conditions, geological instability, the most lethal cocktail of microbial and viral life forms in the galaxy and of course the crushing gravity, seemed entirely natural. Until we left Earth we thought ourselves rather weak, frail, defenseless creatures because we only had earth fauna to compare ourselves to. You can imagine our surprise then, upon joining the galactic community to find ourselves in fact to be enormous, robust and insanely dangerous in our own right."
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:44 No.5041806
    >Why can't I be an elf? ;_;
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:44 No.5041807
         File : 1246311884.jpg-(185 KB, 1024x768, Replicator.jpg)
    185 KB
    Oh hi there.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:46 No.5041823
    at the rate humans are playing video games, I forsee a future where human eyesight evolves to be even BETTER at detecting movement and prey.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:47 No.5041831
    You're assuming that winning or losing at a video game would determine how often you get laid. Sadly, this isn't the case...
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:48 No.5041834
    Mantis Shrimp kills and maims for the lulz.
    Mantis Shrimp decorates its tunnel with the skulls of the conquered.

    It's practically fucking human.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:49 No.5041838
    that's great, where's it from?
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:49 No.5041839
         File : 1246312147.png-(360 KB, 481x481, 1245894285657.png)
    360 KB
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:49 No.5041842
         File : 1246312161.jpg-(200 KB, 640x480, Nt Grupo 6.jpg)
    200 KB

    Isn't that the one with the claw-snap that causes a mini-explosion hotter than the surface of the sun?

    I ain't touching that.


    Eh? How so? I've noticed any trouble not noticing movement.

    (Then that might be the problem, haha)
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:50 No.5041847
    we aren't really that frail at all, we can sustain injuries that would cripple other animals and keep on trucking for twenty more years. I mean we hunted woolly mammoths to extinction by stabbing them in the face with sharp sticks.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:52 No.5041855
    You are a funny man.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:52 No.5041859
    I kind thought of the idea of humans as rapidly spreading, fractious, chaotic combination of orkz and rats with nukes. Fighting each other, fighting aliens and thriving at the same time.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:53 No.5041863

    I just wrote it, I was getting a bit annoyed at all the HUMANS ARE REALLY WEAK JUST LOOK AT HOW ALL THE ANIMALS ARE BETTER THAN US. What if earth was the real life catachan of the galaxy. I've been in our jungles. There's some scary shit right there, we don't need to make stuff up.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:53 No.5041864
    no pistol shrimp are the ones who do that plasma compression thingy. other than that pistol shrimp are retarded hole dwellers
    mantis shrimp are the ones with bladed fist that rival a .22 caliber pistol for kinetic energy and come close to octopus in intelligence
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:53 No.5041866
    The species causing the Holocene Extinction Event should be calling ourselves weaklings?

    But nah you're right, every discussion of fantasy races should revolve around amazing superpowers like darksight that no human has. We should be ashamed for daring to suggest that we appreciate anything about our race as good.

    I mean it's not like you're just too much of a pussy to get out of the house and work out and so you occupy yourself fantasizing about a world in which everybody innately has superpowers, yourself included. It's not like you've just got a raging misanthropy-boner because you've never been able to stick your real one in a woman.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:54 No.5041871
    No, that's the Pistol Shrimp.

    The mantis shrimp is the one that can shatter aquarium glass with a punch!
    >> the despoiler of threads 06/29/09(Mon)17:55 No.5041873
    thank you, I think?
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:57 No.5041881

    >I mean it's not like you're just too much of a pussy to get out of the house and work out and so you occupy yourself fantasizing about a world in which everybody innately has superpowers, yourself included.

    That's kinda what this entire "humans are awesome" metathread is about and for.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)17:58 No.5041889

    first thing that pops into my head is brittney spears. damn her intergalactic virulence.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:01 No.5041896
    Out of all animals, humans are the most intelligent. Combined with our social groups this has allowed us to learn and pass on knowledge. Any FUCK YEAH HUMANS thread should be how we figure out everything given enough time. Everything else just exaggerates some trait common to all animals that humans are not the exemplars.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:03 No.5041905

    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:03 No.5041910
    And I can crush hundreds of shrimp with my boots.
    In fact I can farm them as a food source.
    Kind of hard to do anything about it when you are orders of magnitude smaller and weaker than your opponent.
    >> No Man 06/29/09(Mon)18:04 No.5041914

    What about the Macarena?
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:05 No.5041923
    Mantis Shrimp - Choppa Shrimp

    Pistol Shrimp - Dakka Shrimp
    >> Inquisitor Angricus !IT5VxStGLw 06/29/09(Mon)18:06 No.5041928
    So would any other species that gets out into space.

    I thought it was because humanity was always depicted as weak, short lived, but numerous. If not stupid compared to other species.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:10 No.5041959
    So these threads are not really about humans as much as they are the supposition of a humanlike spacefaring race with one or more massive societal deficiencies comparatively.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:10 No.5041966
         File : 1246313441.jpg-(50 KB, 480x359, bkwut.jpg)
    50 KB
    I REMEMBER this cool story on /tg/ how Earth was the only planet in the galaxy that had organisms that evolved to produce adrenaline naturally. Adrenaline was considered an illegal narcotic used through out the galaxy, though some military's used it on there soldiers for fighting time.

    I thought this was awesome since:
    - It made Humans "unique" in the galactic scene without going overboard.
    - It gave a semi-explanation for past alien abductions (to harvest adrenaline).
    - Made Human spaces marines a valuable asset in any space conflict.
    - All other alien species saw Humans as crazy sonsabitches who could do badass things when the shit hits the fan.

    Anyone have a copy of that story?
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:10 No.5041968
         File : 1246313453.jpg-(76 KB, 732x800, 54171916christmas_island_bonef(...).jpg)
    76 KB
    here is a shed of one. they are not small exactly
    and divers call them thumb splitters and toe biters because they can bruise the bone and leave a gash requiring stitches
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:11 No.5041972
    You want to make humans something more than the whipping boy of the Hard Sci-Fi genre? Then let humanity keep the one trait that we've had all along, but no one ever seems to want to talk about. The one trait that few, if any, aliens have been given in the genre.

    Give them the cruelty of our people. We might not have the best tech. We might not be the strongest, fastest, most skillful, or overall best soldiers. We might not even have creativity on our side. But if you manage to successfully convince a human soldier that one of the elite soldiers of the Whatthefuckever Warrior Race did something terrible to Earth, that one elite soldier will find himself in a world of hurt.

    The human will use underhanded tactics. He will attack and break and assault anything that the elite soldier holds dear. The human will pillage the elite soldier's women, rape the elite soldier's horses, and ride away on the elite soldier's houses. The human will do damned near everything, up to and including destroying himself, to make sure that his vendetta has been settled.

    We're not crazy. We just have a chip on our shoulder, because goddammit, not everyone in the galaxy thinks we're worth a damn. Not everyone in the galaxy likes our ideas. In fact, very few in the galaxy give two tugs of a dead dog's cock about the hairless apes that just came out of the backwater planet and have just now started playing with the interplanetary travel technology that comes in most readily-available amateur science kits that the rest of the galaxy buys for their young.

    And that pisses us off.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:12 No.5041976
    In Delta Green (yes, Delta Green the game of humanity being but a cosmic speck of shit on a worthless ball of rock), humans do have one interesting feature for alien races.

    The Mi-Go are very interested in our brains because they don't work like the Mi-Go brains. Humans are capable of great leaps of logic, and sometimes leaps that don't seem to make sense.

    The Mi-Go mind operates entirely logically, and therefore somewhat slowly and methodically, going from Fact A to Fact B to Fact C. Humans on the other hand are capable, somehow, of going straight from A to C. It's how we've gone from inventing the radio to inventing the atom bomb in 60 short years.

    It's not particularly FUCK YEAH, AWESOME, but the speed with which we learn, deduce and invent could easily be a trait of Awesome Humanity.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:13 No.5041977
    >Xeno sex
    >Incredible stamina

    "Jassa! Oh, it's been too long!" Alis stood up from the chair and embraced her friend. They sat down and talked about what they had done this past year. Alis was on the IGSS orbiting the Human homeworld, Earth. She was a secretary for the Saur embassy stationed on the spacestation. Jassa on the other hand was a civillian on the surface. She had her usual coy and playful expression on her brown, and reptillian scaily face.

    As they 'tasted' the local beverages, the topic of old memmories shifted into new experiences. Jassa seemed to have a been through many adventurers with the humans. Alis rested her chin on her hand as she listened. Jassa always managed to tell her stories in a way that made you craving to hear them.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:13 No.5041979
    Hey that's really good, you should engage in some sort of mediated mutual-storytelling with friends. :D

    I've played Rifts and got irritated with every other species everywhere being so astoundingly badass, and humans just being default-y nebbishes. It's like the dude above saying that sending rockets into space is nothing to be excited about because he's personally an escapist wuss. The trend gets old.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:13 No.5041982
    All creatures, from the lowliest microbe to the great Etherwhales that drift in the darkness between the stars, all of them are bound by fate. The universe weaves strings of destiny around them, their paths are written in the great tapestry long before they are even born. The gods have a plan for all of us. All but them.

    These humans, they don't even realise how special they are. They see only a future that will create themselves. They write their destiny with their own will. By their hands they shall forge a future of blood and fire and the death screams of gods. And for that reason, we should be afraid. For in that future, there is no place for us...
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:14 No.5041989
    She started to speak about this character she met, and how she was introduced to the 'clublife', as it was called. Alcohol and music and dancing made her stand out as a very exotic addition to the party, she explained, but then the story changed direction...

    "Then we sized each other up... And... Hm." She smiled wide and looked away, trying to find the right words. Alis' eyes widened. "No! You didn't!" The accused didn't deny it, but Alis couldn't help being curious. "But I heard they where... Tiny." She measured with her claws for drama, but Jassa dismissed her. "True, they are not as... Endowed, but by the Ancients, you cannot imagine how it was! He moved with me, caressed every part of my body. I was a panting wreck afetr he was done with me."

    "What do you mean?"

    "Well, as the humans say, 'it is not the size of the ship, but how it rotates that matters'. Or something"

    You all saw it comming.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:15 No.5041999

    >For in that future, there is no place for us...

    Sure there is. It just involves a lot of manual labor, where you have to touch shit with your bare hands.



    Whatever the eggheads are calling those weird-looking grabby-bits of yours.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:16 No.5042005
    I always thought humanities' greatest strength was tenecity.
    Speaking of short lived and numerous, but with tenecity, what was the name of that story where humaity was fighting a massive interstellar war, and we were losing something like 12 billion lives a day? Then we find out that the enemy was fighting a side war, and we get sealed away in a pocket universe.

    I know it's off topic, but I remember reading about it on /tg/, and stupidly forgot to write it down...
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:18 No.5042014

    Bravo, I applaud you old chap.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:19 No.5042019

    I feel compelled to remind you that not everyone is capable of doing that. Intuitive leaping is relatively difficult for some people, a skill that they have to practice to actually achieve.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:20 No.5042021
    There are probably a billion types of bacteria that are more tenacious than all mammals combined.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:20 No.5042024
    The Xeelee Sequence by Stephen Baxter
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:21 No.5042029


    But most of us whip that shit so hard and so fast that we don't even notice it anymore.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:21 No.5042030
    Read 99% of Space Fiction, it's about giant scary thing 9000x stronger than us.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:22 No.5042032
    Humans are pursuit predators, designed to continue operating for long, long amounts of time in hot conditions.

    Obviously, us humans will be known for militaries that attack at all times of day and night, marches that just don't end, and many of us will work the heatmines in the cores of planets for energy.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:22 No.5042039
    >>5041976The Mi-Go are very interested in our brains because they don't work like the Mi-Go brains. Humans are capable of great leaps of logic, and sometimes leaps that don't seem to make sense.

    Adam West Batman is the pinnacle of humanity
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:23 No.5042041
         File : 1246314227.jpg-(163 KB, 600x886, Pistol Use.jpg)
    163 KB
    >>I mean we hunted woolly mammoths to extinction by stabbing them in the face with sharp sticks.

    I really feel this doesn't prove anything. Most pack predators fight things stronger than them (or rather, stronger than individuals). Looks at wolves for fuck's sake. A number end up dead after a deer decides he's HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT, turns around and uses his antlers and/or hooves, resulting in a number of wolves with either holes in their hides or cracked skulls.

    All we really have on our side compared to a wolf pack is that we know medicine. We can take our buddy with the cracked legbone, set the bone right, and keep him safe while he heals.

    Wolves neither have the capacity to think of that nor the ability to carry it out (the setting anyways). Their buddy is dead, as far as they're concerned.



    Well shit. Why do shrimp have so many species of badass sealife?
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:24 No.5042044
    That's just obvious
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:25 No.5042054
    >>5041976It's how we've gone from inventing the radio to inventing the atom bomb in 60 short years.

    uh... yeah, for WESTERN culture

    the east went from fireworks to.... fireworks in god knows how many years
    africans stayed mud farming boogeymen

    while the western man created powerful weapons, discovered Africa's rich resources and revolutionized the world

    innovation and ingenuity are traits of WESTERN culture, not humans.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:25 No.5042055
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:25 No.5042056
    MtG quotes fuck year
    >> No Man 06/29/09(Mon)18:25 No.5042058


    'neither shrimp nor mantis.'


    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:25 No.5042061
         File : 1246314349.jpg-(419 KB, 1135x1600, klan-klein-over-ranka-lee.jpg)
    419 KB
    Humans are the best.

    They're such cuddly and cute tiny little things :3
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:26 No.5042070

    Hello. My name is Joseph Brannon. You destroyed my planet.

    Prepare to die.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:27 No.5042071
    "So why are we fighting again sir?" asked the young cadet as the lights dimmed.

    "Why are we fighting? To win son, but it's more than that. We're fighting this war because of what happened during the Delegation of Worlds." Sharply answered the Drill Instructor, his insignia shining in the dim light.

    "There was a delegation of 15 of them, peace talks were breaking down and this was a last ditch attempt to salve the problem. Each arrived and took his place as part of the overall entourage of their leader and the talks began." The Instructor seemed to be repeating off an internal script as he told the familiar story of betrayal.

    "Each was scanned, searched and made to swear they came in peace and had nothing on their minds but the delegation. They passed lie detectors, mind scans and the attention of some of the greatest minds we had to offer. The talks rapidly broke down, as they had every other time, they weren't willing to budge on their insane demands and we ended up shouting the same old arguements at each other for the thousandth time." The Instructor's voice suddenly became quiet and cold as the cadets egerly lent in, they all new the story but the Instructor told it like he'd been there.

    "This time they'd taken another tactic, they tried to bribe us, each of the 15 members of the delegation had gifts for the various races represented at the Delegation and each moved and offered the gifts to the leaders of each race. The gifts were naturally scanned and checked, along with the delegates and nothing was found to be wrong so we allowed them to proceed."
    >> Inquisitor Angricus !IT5VxStGLw 06/29/09(Mon)18:27 No.5042074

    I... sure. Why not.

    "Humans'll eat anything." He groaned, leaning his massive exoskeleton over the chest. He was always a good friend, X'thiraz. Buggy little fuck, huge, gifted with those incandescent iridescent wings that he bragged so much about. Said he could win a fight just by blinding the asshole.

    "Bullshit." Another guy, one of those weird reptilian species, spoke up. Don't even know who he was. Just some random asshole at the bar, pouring all kinds of foreign alcohol down his little gray maw. Little figure, big voice.

    "It's true! It's fuckin' true! I was there when they first got into space! Y'know, real space. Not local space. I was there to observe their culture. I mean, I was just an internet, but first hand account here. They were eating every fucking thing on the planet." My friend shot back. I laughed, shaking my head and clapping my friend's shoulder.

    "We all eat animals. Just 'cuz you don't like to e-"

    "No man, no. They were eating EVERYTHING. Insects, plants, freaking plants and meat! They're not herbivores but there they were, stuffing grasses and shit in their stomach! And when our negotiations were over, first thing they wanted to do was share cooking recipes! That they don't eat freaking dirt amazes me!" He waved his arms and wings wildly to help make his point. What exactly that point was, I don't know.

    "Bullshit." The reptile shot back, downing another shot glass.

    "It's true." Some furry little thing spoke up. Smaller than the reptile, didn't even see him before. "They'll screw any thing too!" It then added it. The rest of the night past in awkward silence, and the little fuzzy bastard being dragged out back and told not to return.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:27 No.5042078
    Why should other species think anything like we do. Why shouldn't a species evolve on the basis on shared group agriculture and co-operation than the human pack based hunting/conflict driven mentality. In my mind it's more likely that peaceful cooperative species would develop to a spacefaring stage because they could spend more time doing science and less time killing each other.

    Then again a world with predators and competition probably leads to our capacity for adaptability and resourcefulness something these more peaceful cultures would not need so much. Score another advantage for us.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:27 No.5042080
    Thank you so much. You're the fucking man.

    Anyways, I might as well elaborate. Look at the pyramids, built in ancient times with only willpower, Hebrew slaves and a few simple machines.

    Look at stranded hikers who get pinned by an avalanche and amputate thier arms with a dull swiss army knife.

    We have determination and perseverance to get the job done, no matter the cost.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:28 No.5042087
    >I mean we hunted woolly mammoths to extinction by stabbing them in the face with sharp sticks.

    No we didn't. It's a theory that's pretty much discarded completely in europe, and only still followed in US-I'm not saying we didn't play a part,but it was mostly fast climate change and/or some other factor like decease...there simply speaking weren't enough humans back then to drive an entire species like that to extincion, not even with kill-site hunting method.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:29 No.5042095
    Well shit. Why do shrimp have so many species of badass sealife?

    mantis shrimp aren't shrimp. they are stomatopods and are closer to pill bugs. and I looked them up they apparently do the cavitation bubbles to like pistol shrimp too. apparently they also will tuck their head into their tail and scoot around like a wheel
    >> No Man 06/29/09(Mon)18:29 No.5042097

    Actually, Africa had to contend with no written records. Due to climate.

    Supposedly, Northern Africans were getting close to metallurgy without any real records. That's kind of impressive. Except for European slavers taking all the middle-class workers who actually KNEW how to do stuff.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:29 No.5042099

    This. We live on a warm planet with liquid water and have a oxygen based metabolism that makes us much faster than them who evolved on a titan like planet with cryovolcanoes and methane snow.

    Compaired to them we swim in OCEANS OF LAVA and react to stimulus 10x faster then them.

    They have been around for a lot longer and have much more advanced technology, but we are advancing in leaps and bounds and will be catching up very soon.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:31 No.5042114
    All of you need some biology classes.
    >> Lanced Jack 06/29/09(Mon)18:32 No.5042119
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:33 No.5042127

    >leaps and bounds

    I just imagined the colder-based life form as a really old man getting out of bed at noon, stretching, groaning and starting up a pot of coffee to start off his day.

    Then I imagined humanity as a kid, hopping out of bed on an early Saturday morning, going straight outside, and merrily skipping through fields of green, while the old man stared out of his window at the kid, hate and jealousy gleaming in his ancient eyes.

    And that's hilarious.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:33 No.5042129
    Humans have an afterlife.

    We don't have an afterlife. That's bullshit.

    >> Inquisitor Angricus !IT5VxStGLw 06/29/09(Mon)18:34 No.5042134
    >"I mean, I was just an internet,"

    Herp durp, intern.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:35 No.5042142

    "WHEEEEEEEEE, hey, Grandpa!"
    "Don't call me grandpa."
    "Okay, Grandpa!"
    "Don't call me grandpa!"
    "Okay, Grandpa!"
    "I said-"
    "Hey, what's this? OOOO, COFFEE! Can I have some, can I have some, can I have some, please, Grandpa?"
    "What? No, hey, don't-!"
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:36 No.5042150
    "Now from what we can tell, all barring the leader were the young of this particular race and each was apparently beautiful to them. To the other delgations they looked squat and beastial but they humored them for the gifts they were bestowing were not to be passed up, minerals, technology, planetary rights. It seemed like they were desparate not to be wiped out." Chuckled the Instructor darkly as the story wound on, the cadets were entranced by his deep voice and well versed storytelling manner.

    "Then the leader stands up and announces that their delegation will be playing a message from their supreme leader. As the hologram flickers to life many of the other races felt sickened by the site of the wizened creature who had ordered the death and pain of so many of their kind. No matter what he had to say peace would be hard won. He began with the usual platitudes and diplomatic overtures and then he announced that all delegations would immediately agree to any and all demands that had been put forth and withdraw from their space within 1 cycle. As you can imagine there was pandimonium as all the delegations screamed at once and even their delegation looked amazed at the content of the message." The Instructor looked up towards the class of cadets and saw each and ever one of the hanging on his every word, he would need this, to show them what they were up against and what those alien monsters could do.
    >> Mârquis dé baguette 06/29/09(Mon)18:37 No.5042155


    That was fantastic
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:37 No.5042158
    >Supposedly, Northern Africans were getting close to metallurgy without any real records

    no supposedly in it. africa developed copper, bronze, and iron working just as much as any other region.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:39 No.5042171

    It's not all it's cracked up to be. At least you don't have to deal with Irish Catholic priests while you're alive. And Jehovah's Witnesses. And Mormons. And Wiccans. And pushy vegans that accuse you of murder when you're hanging out in a McDonalds, trying to pretend that you can't hear him while you eat delicious, artery-clogging meat.

    And when you actually DO make it to the afterlife, you have to deal with all these same assholes again, all smug and pompous with that "We told you so" smirk all over their faces. With the possible exception of the vegans.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:42 No.5042198
         File : 1246315364.jpg-(88 KB, 800x575, Dark_Eldar_by_biomonkz.jpg)
    88 KB
    Sorry, someone else already does that, and does it better.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:44 No.5042218

    Uh. No? Dark Eldar are supposed to be the ancient assholes that no one cares about, not the new kids on the block that no one cares about.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:52 No.5042304


    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:56 No.5042354
    No, their afterlife is supposed to be all happy! Obviously you aren't a real student of humans.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:56 No.5042357
    "Their supreme leader suddenly addressed his race's delegation in a loud, booming voice announcing "You are all great people, and our spiecies, our people and are culture is so proud of the great things you have done in the name of peace. But sadly there is a time when peace must be reached with the bayonet and not with the olive branch. I am afraid you have been decieved, if the races of the Delegation do not submit to our demands, I am afraid you will have to take the greatest step one of our kind can make to secure our future." his head turned to the delegations and proceeded to announce the reason for this sudden change in speech." The Instructor's voice became bitter and cold as he began to explain to the cadets what the monstrous act that would be committed.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:57 No.5042365
    ""Each of the members of our delegation has had surgically implanted, without their consent or knowleadge, a small scale thermo-fission device. If our demands are not immediately met, these will be detonated killing everyone at this Delegation of Worlds. Please note that barring our esteemed ambassador, each member of the delegation is a young juvinile. We have chosen them to prove our commitment to ridding our space of your kind. We will not stand by and allow a group of hide-bound monsters dictate our actions due to the fact they got there first. This is our shining moment and proof that if you wish to keep us down we will rise up and smite you like a vengeful god. You have 60 seconds." As his face vanished you could see the delegation crying and ripping at their flesh and clothes, the utter stark terror in their faces plain for anyone to see, some defecated and vomited, some just curled up and sobbed, one attacked a guard and was gunned down. The chamber was in uproar, some agreed immediately, others soon after. I think if it wasn't for one man we'd all be slaves to them now, one great man, our finest leader and an example to us all." The Instructors voice rose as he began to reach the climax of the story and the cadets began to shift and become excited at what was about to follow.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)18:58 No.5042383
    "He sat there and calmly reminded all his fellow delegates that should they bow down to such base creatures as these then they were no better themselves. He spoke with such eloquence and candor that within moments the races of the delegation had all decided to band together and crush this threat, even at the cost of their own lives. Sure enough, the bombs detonated, everyone was slain and those creatures profited from the loss of their own kin like monsters. But we held strong, we fought, we rebuilt, we pushed them back, an era of co-operation was born that is still alive today. Those monsters showed us that we should work together than become like them. It has been a hard fight, but one we'll win." The cadets stood and cheered as one as the Instructor finished the story, each of them felt like gods and ready to take on the universe.

    "But sir." Called a cadet. "We still don't know what race did this, it's classified from anyone who isn't military personel, can we finally know who did such horriffic things to humanity?"

    The Instructor let out a dark laugh. "Sure you can son. It was humans that did this. Even though we've come a long way, monkeys will be monkeys."

    As the cadets sat in stunned silence the Instructor left the room, lights still dimmed and lesson not began.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:05 No.5042446
         File : 1246316704.jpg-(37 KB, 537x565, _pictures_personen_babylon5_ch(...).jpg)
    37 KB
    loooooong overdue here:

    The humans, I think, knew they were doomed. But where another race would surrender to despair, the humans fought back with even greater strength. They made the Minbari fight for every inch of space. In my life, I have never seen anything like it. They would weep, they would pray, they would say goodbye to their loved ones and then throw themselves without fear or hesitation at the very face of death itself. Never surrendering. No one who saw them fighting against the inevitable could help but be moved to tears by their courage…their stubborn nobility. When they ran out of ships, they used guns. When they ran out of guns, they used knives and sticks and bare hands. They were magnificent. I only hope, that when it is my time, I may die with half as much dignity as I saw in their eyes at the end. They did this for two years. They never ran out of courage. But in the end…they ran out of time.
    >> Mârquis dé baguette 06/29/09(Mon)19:05 No.5042454
         File : 1246316748.jpg-(167 KB, 560x383, downloadedfile-12..jpg)
    167 KB
    You've all forgotten one of the most terrifying things we can do.

    We take the offspring of animals we find charming and we keep them.

    We take another creatures CHILDREN and we raise them to be COMPLETELY DEPENDENT on us.

    So much so that they will sometimes put themselves in lethal danger to protect us FROM THEIR OWN SPECIES.

    And that is fucking incredible.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:09 No.5042489
    How come no one has posted that picture about not fucking with humans. Its set up in a motivation style and says something along the lines of we breath rockets fuel
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:11 No.5042507

    No, I say that it will be our ability to convert our plains striding endurance to fuck alien bitches into submission that will be our Ace in our sleeve.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:13 No.5042519
    For one, its the same gay shit the OP said not to post.
    2, its a motivator and this isn't /b/.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:14 No.5042533
    Gordon Freeman..he fought back against an alien race went into thier citadel and BLEW IT TO HELL.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:15 No.5042542
    >assuming aliens have sexy females
    >assuming aliens find pleasure from sex
    >assuming aliens have sexes
    >assuming aliens have dna
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:15 No.5042549
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:18 No.5042581
    And he never said a single fucking word about it
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:21 No.5042611


    I guess that explains why Eldritch Horrors tend to resemble sea creatures then. The sea's already pumping weird ass shit out.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:26 No.5042664

    Christ man I'm a scubadiver. There's enough biting poisonous scary crap down there already. You're telling me I have to look out for a shrimp THAT PUNCHES WITH THE FORCE OF THE SUN. I think i need to find a new hobby.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:27 No.5042677
    Two things, although we spread fast and populate rapidly, once we reach a state of development around where the western world is now, we stop making babies.

    Most western nations would have declining population if it weren't for immigrants.

    Also, we spread like a virus (no its not quoting the matrix, Smith got his ideas somewhere).

    Animals that enter a new environment (that they fit in, you know, natural selection and whatnot) grow in population according to a curve, when it hits maximum, it goes over a bit, then lowers and eventually evens out at the maximum.

    Humans never even out. We hit max, die off in massive amounts due to overpopulation, then we rise back to max and repeat.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:28 No.5042687

    "Come get some!"
    "Guess again, freakshow. I'm coming back to town, and the last thing that's gonna go through your mind before you die... is my size- 13 boot!"
    "I like a good cigar...and a bad woman..."
    "Nuke 'em 'till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark!"
    "Oh...that's gotta hurt."
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:30 No.5042706

    Humans generally have no qualms with using technology implanted in their bodies (this includes basic prosthetics like a wooden peg leg). This is barbarous to most other races that encounter us, as now we question their beliefs on what life is by our very existence.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:30 No.5042709
    Cke'inra, my friend, you do not understand! The most horrific thing about these hyuma'ans has nothing to do with their technology! Forget their latest railgun enhancements, they are not even on par to the might of the Vakkaz'hol class dreadnoughts!

    No, no what makes them dangerous has nothing to do with anything as simple to counter as that. What makes them so terrible is how filthy they are! Every square mikto of their epidermis contains millions, MILLIIONS of the most deadly of microscopic organisms!

    You think I am joking? Do you know what happened to the party sent to meet the hyuuma'ans ambassador on Shegga'zora'th? Yes they all died. It was not an reactor failure as the reports say. No. It was worse. On their return trip all who made contact with the aliens became violently ill, their bodies ravaged from the inside out! The muscles sloughed from their bones like mud! We lost nearly the entire fleet that went to help them! These.. Things that crawl all over their bodies are deadly to say the least. They manage to seep through our filtration devices and they reproduce at such a scale that it makes the Great Phage look like a joke!

    The recovery vessels sent to investigate what happened found only drifting hulks in the void. There were no survivors aboard any of the ships. After the first rescue party entered the flag ship did and found records as to what had happened, we were forced to tow the entire fleet into the nearest star, along with the rescue team in order to prevent further spread of the infections.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:32 No.5042735

    Except, there's no resource limit when you can go settle new worlds. People don't have children in developed western societies true, but out there, on the colonial frontier, there's worlds to spare. Imagine the land you've always wanted, that space out back for your kids to play in. And when they've all grown up they can choose what continent they'd like. A new life, a new start. Sign up now for Colonist Application at your local civic centre. Secure your children's future today!

    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:36 No.5042779
    The worst is this virus that one of hyuuma'ans had said they had recovered from! They lied! This horrific virus is the worst of them all! It alone accounted for the loss of five vessels! The worst part is that these hyuuma'ans are immune to these things! They think nothing of them! And this virus that killed so many? My sources tell me that it's not uncommon for these creatures to have it one or even two times a stellar cycle! They even give it an innocuous sounding name - the cold. Information they have given us freely states that 70 percent or so of all the life on their world is microscopic! With this intelligence, and by tests we have conducted on some live hyuuma'an specimens, we have determined that none of our bioweapons are capable of harming them, yet they themselves are walking bioweapon factories! You may think yourself safe if you do not touch them.. But no! Their saliva has even more deadly bacteria that they are capable of forming into a projectile and firing at you! Not even being out of the reach of that is safe! The very air they take into their lungs becomes soiled and infected as well!

    All worlds that have been touched by hyuuma'ans have been infected with the bacteria and molds they carry with them everywhere! Over a dozen planets in the Kriizopl cluster have been declared forbidden, their ecosystems decimated! We believe that this is their method of preparing worlds for conquest and early terraforming.

    We will not stand for this much longer, Cke'inra! We must destroy them before they infect us.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:42 No.5042811
    >I hate people because they are dumb

    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:46 No.5042840

    I doubt additional space is gonna help. And resources wont do shit, the west has more resources (and sometimes space) available than the third world countries that now provide the extra population.

    Though it may be a psychological effect of our current society that will go away as we advance or adapt.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)19:53 No.5042894

    It's because the people born into affluence in 1st world countries start developing into jaded and disaffected individuals that view their own country as worthless. This seems to affect most 1st world countries, though the highest concentration has got to be in the U.S. I'm not sure what causes this, or why this comes along, but it seems to mess with the reproductive cycle on a subconscious level.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:00 No.5042950
         File : 1246320046.gif-(20 KB, 199x149, ThoseEyebrows.gif)
    20 KB

    It might be because we have better resources/technology/healthcare and thus live longer and more comfortably we can afford to sit down and think. And then we realize "Fuuuuuck, six billion people is too much for our poor planet" so we try to not have too many kids (and some have none at all) because they're a strain on our personal resources (more so than the third world - we have to put them through costly education and such, they just have to feed them) as well as the world's resources.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:02 No.5042967

    Dude, you core worlders just don't get it. You guys don't have kids 'cos they're expensive. It might mean missin' out on that swell promotion your wifes been angling for. It's the cost of buying the latest hologames, or putting the through college that stops you breedin.

    Out here on the rim we do things a bit differently. Out here we got more work than we got hands to do. The nearest university is 56 lightyears away. More kids mean more workers for the agridevelopments and that makes life that little better for all of us. Sure, maybe one day this rock will get a little crowded. Maybe we'll attract some of you core dwellers out here for a bit or colonial simplicity. And when you do, we'll just go somewhere else, boost in a hab and start again.
    >> No Man 06/29/09(Mon)20:03 No.5042968

    tl;dr the people who view their land of origin/residence do not reproduce and/or are stupid enough to think that the high population density of third-world hellholes is indicative of the whole of the species as opposed to local phenomena?
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:06 No.5042990
    it is purely sociological. if the conditions change(having more than one/two children is again profitable, or raising more than one kid is not as resource-intensive) the so-called West would quickly catch-up...with the sub-saharan africa,because the forecasts say the now-developing countries will even out just like west did, and only the poorest regions will continue this crazy population boom.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:09 No.5043007

    Pretty much.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:12 No.5043030
    With all this sci-fi going on, how would you work in humans are awesome into fantasy? Doesn't have to be generic Tolkien-esk fantasy either.
    For instance, badass humans in viking legends. Or the every race is pretty much balanced out physically, but the humans organized better and managed to carve an empire without enslaving everyone approach of the elderscrolls. It's easy to imagine how small, weak races like stereotypical goblins may be afraid of humans, but why are things more physically and mentally capable (like elves normally are) not going out of their way to keep them controlled as humans would goblins? What has humanity got to make them worthwhile there where everything is on the same planet?
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:13 No.5043043

    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:14 No.5043052
    Because Bosmer are hermits, Altmer are worthless ponces, Orsimer are disorganized, Dwemer are dead, and Dunmer don't give a fuck.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:15 No.5043055
    humanities ego and cruel brutal cunning is unmatched
    >> Sheep 06/29/09(Mon)20:20 No.5043096
    ITT: People who think they've seen aliens and have studied them all their lives.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:21 No.5043112

    we are just having fun role playing scifi authors
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:24 No.5043140

    It's not cool, man, stop being a fag man. Why the fuck do you play your make-believe games instead of fantasy football like normal non-fags, man?
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:24 No.5043143

    Successful troll is successful.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:25 No.5043150
    The united states is actually one of the few western natinos with a positive birth rate.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:26 No.5043160
    Numbers ain't everything. Being able to feed numbers is more important, and technology spreads. Humans take a lot of land per person to feed without machines helping cultivate stuff. Ignoring magic, maybe elves take about the same amount due to size, dwarfs too but probably using different cultivation methods than fields and herds. Goblins less land individually but goblins rarely get detailed in how they actually survive in numbers at all.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:27 No.5043165

    Those faggots are ruining the world.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:27 No.5043176
    Still got plenty of usable land to grow into.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:28 No.5043179
    Fucking anti-human faggots! If you hate humanity so much, go join PETA!
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:29 No.5043190



    SHUT UP.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:30 No.5043194

    >though the highest concentration has got to be in the U.S.

    You've never been to Europe have you.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:31 No.5043203

    I was expecting the U.S. the top the charts due to the pressure of every other country also hating the U.S. Otherwise I was going to suggest a slavic country like Poland to be topping the charts.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:32 No.5043214
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:34 No.5043238
    One thing I like to think that might make humans different from other sentients is how our armor works. Kevlar, inches of steel, underground bunkers, all of it is based on absorbing blows and impacts. based off our own skin, which absorbs (given time) most substances it comes in contact with, so we have based all our defensive technology around that. hell once we develop force fields they'll just absorb impact forces too.

    What if we encounter a reptilian race, one that has scales or feathers, something that sheds off or deflects matter as its natural last line of defense? What would their armor be developed like? and how would an encounter go if we somehow met and fought with hostility.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:38 No.5043273
    95% of Americans don't give a fuck about what happens outside of their shithole town, let alone what people in another country think. I was talking to some people at work a week ago and not one of them that anything at all was happening in Iran.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:39 No.5043290

    They might even fly in formations that try to refocus enemy attacks back at them.

    Their fleets turn into refocusing prisms and redirection mirrors for energy weapons, leading humans to return to combustion weapons like bullets and rockets.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:41 No.5043303
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)20:49 No.5043387
    An example in already existing fiction, Warhammer Dwarfs respect humans as a whole, though know that individually they can and often are far less worthy of respect.
    They hold them in high regard for their actions when they crawled out of being a tribal society and united, though having a Conan-esk leader certainly helped. They think humans are still reckless with their quick adoption of unproven technologies, and how easily many fall to chaos. But they also admire that they are capable of great works of good when guided well, that they are a brilliant ally when they go to war.

    Though only on very rare occasions will a human ever be counted as a true friend of a dwarf, or the dwarfs as a whole. See Felix of Gotrek and Felix stories not realizing just how few humans had ever been called Dwarf-Friend. Him and Sigmar are the main two in all the centuries of human/dwarf cooperation. They also know that with humans being a very short lived race, they tend to get over things rather than hold grudges for centuries, nor are they bound to hold onto any grudges they or their predecessors held. They can forgive, and forget.
    >> Sheep 06/29/09(Mon)20:53 No.5043440
    Okay, all trolling aside and done, what I think would separate humans from other 'sentient' species, would be how our minds worked. Such as a conscious, pre-conscious and unconscious, where the difference is, humans have a hive conscious, which is a collective memory passed down through genes, such as fears, or how to survive different environments that you're born into, whereas other species would struggle and die off. My opinion on it. We always survive.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)21:07 No.5043602
    We were sent to the <Data expunged> sector to run down the crime lord <Data expunged> and the drugs factory he controlled. The mission was simple as it gets - Get in, take out - but HQ decided that this mission would require a bigger force to take out the factory - Or at least, to look like that.
    When they dragged the humans into the busyness, the idea was simple and respectable: The humans would apply their own, loud, tactics on the front and attract attention while we, the <Data expunged>, would sneak behind and take out <Data expunged>.

    What wasn't respectable, at all, was the decision to tag a human with the squadron. "One of the best" said the human ambassador, trying to re-assure us.
    We were sure that he would slow us down, if not doom us, as well. Loud, as humans are, it was probably inevitable.

    And inevitable it was. During THE crucial moment, while me and the boys were preparing to ambush <Data expunged> as he tried to escape, some artillery fire from out of nowhere began whistling in the air. We, as <Data expunged> as we were, didn't flinch.
    The human, by the name of <Data expunged>, rolled out of position and avoided being killed by the blast.
    Good for him. But none of us would compromise the ambush, even if that would mean getting hit by a highly explosive projectile and DIE. But the human? Nooooo!

    Anyway, this little ape looks at <Data expunged> and his guards and <Data expunged> and company at him for a few seconds, aghast. That's when we open fire.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)21:09 No.5043615
    Unfortunately, <Data expunged> was already running up to the hello-grav platform and we were on the other side. No clear shot, at all.
    But the human? Dang. I've never seen any of us doing anything like that. Perhaps it was the rage they are so prone to. Or perhaps it was simple shame for possibly compromising the mission. Or perhaps it was simple dedication? I wouldn't know, I'm no <Data expunged> so I can't read <Data expunged> and, plus, he's dead. Dead, yeah, but... But that little hairy dude saved all of our asses that day.
    What did he do? He ran to the nearest guard, dumped a whole magazine on one <Data expunged>, nearly killing him, then tackled him to the ground, ran over him and drew his pistol. Somehow, he avoided the <Data expunged>'s arm swing and jammed the pistol in the <Data expunged>, shooting and blowing it to smithereens. And then? He killed <Data expunged> with his fists.

    He won us our day. But by what? Precision? Tactical prowess? What?
    Simple god-damn brutality and <Data expunged> - Or as you humans call it, "balls".
    We own that man the control over <Data expunged>, this day.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)21:22 No.5043766
    This thread makes me want to be a human.
    >> Anonymous 06/29/09(Mon)21:39 No.5043934
         File : 1246325946.jpg-(76 KB, 1000x496, Evensteel.jpg)
    76 KB

    Speed and intensity. Elves always have long lives. This means they also mature slowly, mate rarely (or at least rarely with intent of producing a child) and probably have a lengthy gestation period as well.

    This means elves are slow. It means they are not pressed for time. It means they aren't racing the clock because it's less "every year I'm closer to death" and more "Every decade I'm closer to death" or something.

    Humans are extremely aware of their short life spans and seek to do as much as they can before they die. Even the lowest of the low hold great aspirations. That peasant child? Thinks he will be a great warrior one day. Never mind that the odds don't favor him, that's what he thinks. That's how humans think.

    Elves can't understand that. They have plenty of time, they know their place. They can sit back and plot and wait. This rashness and impulsiveness surprises them. It's hard for them to cope when forced into direct competition with humanity. They're forced to react rather than act. Humanity's better at reacting, at making snap decisions.


    Deflects matter? Whuh? How does that differ from what we do?

    Also not all our stuff absorbs impacts. Reactive Armor EXPLODES to, throw the damage away from the vehicle. Used on tanks.

    Delete Post [File Only]
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]