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  • File : 1247369542.png-(72 KB, 600x400, 44.png)
    72 KB Dorf Quest LX Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/11/09(Sat)23:32 No.5138177  
    Well it certainly has been a while...

    PAUSE SCREEN
    BEARDBEARD GODSLAYER, Dorfen Berserker
    Current Quest(s): Conquer Region, take Heracles' divinity, Resurrect Garrelf?/Build momument to Garrelf?

    ALCOHOLISM: sated
    GOLD: 19,725 at Buzzardloved - none at hand.

    STATUS: BBEG

    MUTATIONS:
    Vestigial Wings
    No Left Eye
    3rd eye on back
    What Hands?
    Poison Immunity
    Scales
    Twoface

    INVENTORY:
    Iron Axe
    +8/+10 Two Handed Axe of the Pit
    1 Torch
    Overworld Map
    Hydra Armor
    Map to Beardbeard's Kingdom
    Golden Sceptre
    Antimagic Bird Cage
    Dragon Armor
    Gnomish Axefoot
    Silk Cape
    Spiderarm Axe
    Ovenshield

    Party:
    Presley and Cheska
    Driblis and 3 kobold army
    Baby Cave Spider
    Krann
    Teflnok
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/11/09(Sat)23:34 No.5138190
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    Sorry for not being here for a while. Two weeks ago getting sick and work got in the way of posting, and this last week 4chan exploded. BUT I AM BACK, I DID NOT FORGET YOU PEOPLE.

    ---------

    Beardbeard wakes up.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:35 No.5138192
    >Current Quest(s): Heal Driblis and other, lesser party members.

    Fixed.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/11/09(Sat)23:35 No.5138195
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    Hmmm? It seems someone is trying to PRAY to you.

    Do you accept?
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:35 No.5138196
    Fuck.Yes.

    Look around, see where the hell we are.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:36 No.5138206
    >>5138195
    Accept.
    "Fuck off, I was sleeping."
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:38 No.5138219
    >>5138195
    Sure, why not?
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:41 No.5138233
    >>5138195

    "May I Be With You. What is your inquiry?"
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/11/09(Sat)23:42 No.5138240
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    Beep. Connection established.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/11/09(Sat)23:43 No.5138242
    >>5138195
    Yes, we have nothing better to do.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:43 No.5138245
    >>5138195

    prayer accepted.

    YOU MAY PINCH MY BEARDNIPPLES AND HUG MY BEARDDICK.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/11/09(Sat)23:43 No.5138248
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    Also previous post was animated.

    "Hello Beardbeard! So glad you could finally wake up. I have some important news for you!"
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:44 No.5138251
    >>5138248
    Grunt.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:44 No.5138254
    >>5138248
    "Of course. Initiate plan."
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/11/09(Sat)23:46 No.5138263
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    "Xom has decided to appoint you his champion! Of course, you can always decline the offer, if you like. That is entirely up to you."
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/11/09(Sat)23:47 No.5138268
    >>5138263
    YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF XOM YESSSSSSSSS
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:47 No.5138271
    >>5138263
    "I can live with that."
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:47 No.5138273
    >>5138263
    On the one hand, being a champion of Xom could have DIRE CONSEQUENCES.

    On the other hand, FUCK YEAH XOM LET'S DO IT

    Beardbeard is far too chaotic to not accept
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:48 No.5138277
    >>5138263
    "And what does that mean, exactly?"
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/11/09(Sat)23:48 No.5138279
    Also, ask how Satan is doing.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:49 No.5138282
    >>5138263
    "What does that entail?"
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:49 No.5138284
    >>5138263
    Hell yes Champion

    ACCEPT
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:49 No.5138285
    >>5138263

    Thanks but no thanks. I'm my own dwarf.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/11/09(Sat)23:50 No.5138292
    Ask if there was ever a former champion of Xom too. I wonder why Xom never demoned on us like Crawl Xom does.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:51 No.5138298
    >>5138285
    Do you really think Xom would bind Beardbeard down? He's like...the incarnation of the exact opposite.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:51 No.5138299
    >>5138263
    "Wha? Heh. I bet askin' for more details would disqualify me."
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:51 No.5138302
    >>5138263
    Ask him if we get Dental.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:53 No.5138310
    I say we do it, we're already devoted to Xom
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:55 No.5138323
    I say we ask what that actually means before we start agreeing to anything. I mean, it might seriously infringe upon our quest for godhood.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:55 No.5138328
    >>5138310

    "I say we do it, we're already devoted to Xom"

    Which has gotten us nothing but mutated and tormented. We're trying to attain our own godhood, we don't need to run errands for a "Lol randum waffles" dingbat.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/11/09(Sat)23:56 No.5138335
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    >>5138299
    >"Wha? Heh. I bet askin' for more details would disqualify me."

    "Maybe if Xom were offering it directly, but there is a reason I do the godly dealings around here. I make a good middleman. Anyway, the position comes with a variety of pros and cons."

    "The benefits include more control over your mutations, much like the control granted a priest of Xom, and more frequent 'blessings' from Xom... if you can call those blessings."

    "The downsides include having to follow his every command. You are his champion, his voice in this world, and he'll expect a certain amount of bang for his buck, if you would."

    >>5138292
    >Was there a previous champion of Xom?
    "Why yes, yes there was! He just died recently. Horrible affair. Don't need to go into the details, really, but the end result is that he needs a new champion."
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:57 No.5138341
    >>5138323
    That's a pretty dumb quest anyway. Plus Xom's the strongest god.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/11/09(Sat)23:57 No.5138342
    >>5138328
    We never got tormented. Also, what about the rocks, ale, and axes he gave us? We just never ask for anything.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:59 No.5138355
    >>5138335
    "Can we steal Heracles's divinity?"
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/11/09(Sat)23:59 No.5138358
    >>5138335
    "How often does he give orders?
    >>5138341
    No, he's the second strongest.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)23:59 No.5138361
    >>5138355
    For the love of god, DO NOT say this.
    You think you can trust Fate with knowledge of your actions?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:00 No.5138368
    >>5138335
    I think we should really find out what happened to the champion before us. Feel out what we're getting into, you know.

    Yeah, I'm getting a really bad feeling about this.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)00:00 No.5138371
    >>5138361
    He already knows. He knows everything.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:01 No.5138372
    >>5138335
    Pass. Xom's a crazy idiot, and he'll end up being more trouble than he's worth.

    But don't tell him we said that.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:01 No.5138374
    >>5138361
    He's Fate. I'd be surprised if he didn't already know about it. But fine. Let's rephrase then:

    "Can we still become a god part time?"
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:01 No.5138377
    decline decline decline, negative negative no no no,

    Beardbeard is the champion and voice of alcohol alone
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:01 No.5138378
    >>5138361
    I thought he already had knowledge of all our actions.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:02 No.5138385
    I think we need to think this out a bit more. More to the point: What do you guys think Xom will do if he finds out we rejected him?

    He nearly destroyed the world because Aldwin told him 'no.'
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:02 No.5138387
    Anyway, this champion deal sounds a little too much like permanent lackeyhood. Turn it down.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:03 No.5138393
    >>5138385
    I second this, pissing off Xom is a horrible idea.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:03 No.5138394
    >>5138335
    More control of our shitty mutations sounds good.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:05 No.5138407
    >>5138335
    Well, I think control over our mutations will certainly boost our capacity in battle, and I can't imagine Xom being terribly demanding. So I say accept.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:07 No.5138422
    NEED MORE INFORMATION BEFORE ANY DECISION CAN BE MADE.

    Riiight. Who wants to have beardbeard directly linked to a god who can control him if he decides that BB isn't being chaotic enough?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:08 No.5138425
    >>5138407
    >I can't imagine Xom being terribly demanding
    Your imagination is in need of serious revamping, then. Think of constant demands with no accounting for ease of completion, relevance to reality, or any sort of logic. Being Xom's champion could easily become a rather nasty sort of hell.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:08 No.5138427
    NO
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:09 No.5138436
    >>5138422
    Beardbeard killed the sun because he didn't like its face, dooming the planet to destruction via heat loss.

    I don't think he'll ever not be chaotic enough.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:10 No.5138444
    Decline. We have godhood to attain for ourselves Xom-damnit
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:11 No.5138447
    Amusing Xom with our antics is one thing, being his personal bitch is another. No dice.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:13 No.5138466
    FUCK NO! We are BeardBeard, are we not? Do we take shit from people? FUCK NO! We aint gonna sit by and let some pansy ass primordial force tell us what to do. We'll get the powers of a champion of Xom when we fucking BEAT THEM OUT OF HIS FUCKING CORPSE!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/12/09(Sun)00:13 No.5138467
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    >>5138355
    "You can be Xom's Champion and still steal someone else's Divinity. In fact, Heracles is Pelor's Champion."

    >>5138358
    "That depends. In practice, I've noticed he'll ignore you for a while before giving out a couple of back to back commands, then go back to ignoring you. How long between commands can vary from hours to years."

    "Oh! And I forgot to mention. Followers of Xom will see you glow with a divine aura. They'll know you for the Champion you are."

    >>5138368
    >What happened to the previous champion?
    "Well... she had a problem with one of his orders, and wanted to back out. Xom was not pleased. However, if you back out right now, you will get Yog's protection from Xom's retribution. Once you're a Champion, though, you're on your own. Although a friendly tip: Taking someone else's divinity would save you from Xom's wrath."
    >> Not Gnome 07/12/09(Sun)00:14 No.5138480
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    Think this one over carefully, guys.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:15 No.5138483
    Is groping Krann an acceptable option?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:15 No.5138490
    >>5138467
    Do it Beard-Beard. Steal some divinity like the fist of the north star!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:15 No.5138493
    >>5138466

    This. Then warn fate that his days are numbered to.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:16 No.5138497
    >>5138467
    Let's go for it.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:16 No.5138498
    >>5138467
    Sounds good to me

    Hit It! Let's do it
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:16 No.5138499
    >>5138467
    >protection from Xom's retribution

    What the hell is protecting the rest of the world?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:17 No.5138504
    Either fate tells us everything he knows about what this means for beardbeard- and no screwing around- or we walk on that deal and do things our own chaotic way, and damn the consequences. Fuck, the world is already dead anyways.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:19 No.5138521
    No. We are our own deranged mutant dwarf, no one else's.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)00:19 No.5138523
    >>5138493
    Fate and Xom are both ridiculously strong.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:19 No.5138527
    >>5138466

    Fuck Xom, we'll make our own way. Let's go kill us a champion.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:20 No.5138529
    >>5138467
    Do it. We need all the power we can get, and we can still steal other people's divinity.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:20 No.5138533
    Nope. I still say it's not worth it.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:20 No.5138535
    Are we honestly going to get some feeble non-dwarf's help with grabbing some divinity. I say nay. If we win just because we are Xom's champion than what does that say about us? It says we're the kinda feeble little elf that leens on his gods for help cause he's not a big enough man to get what he wants on his own. We must decline, dorfhood demands it!
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)00:21 No.5138543
    >>5138527
    There are no champions dumb ass, that's why he's asking us.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:21 No.5138544
    >>5138535
    Perhaps you're forgetting that we borrowed Satan's arm for a while.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:21 No.5138547
    I'm still not entirely sure saying no won't cause the destruction of... god damn everything.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)00:22 No.5138553
    >>5138535
    Every big fight we won using the breathe weapon Xom gave us.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:22 No.5138559
    Let's accept. We can back out later after we steal someone's divinity.

    That's the only time we'd want to back out anyway.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/12/09(Sun)00:23 No.5138570
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    >>5138497
    >>5138498
    >>5138493
    >>5138521
    >Yes, No, Yes, No
    "I'll tell him you're thinking about it. I'll pray you back tomorrow; come up with an answer."

    Fate closes the prayer window.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:23 No.5138575
    I say we do it, and to all those Nay sayers.

    This is XOM we're talking about, and beardbeard is classified as a worshipper...you know what that means when Xom gets angry at us...DEMONS EVERYWHERE

    It hasn't happened yet because beardbeard antics are entertaining...but our balls are tied here.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:23 No.5138576
    >>5138521
    >>5138533
    >>5138535
    You guys do understand that we just lost our entire army and almost got killed by a pansy ass elf and his pansy ass bitch right? And that when we fought Musclebeard he kicked our asses hard. We aren't all powerful, we're not on the level of deities, and we certainly can't afford to turn down xom's power just because you don't like taking occasional orders.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:24 No.5138577
    >>5138553

    That was neither asked for nor offered. Ask for no help, accept none offered. Take only that you claim for your own, and that given freely. That is the path to true pride.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:24 No.5138580
    >>5138570
    Xom Damn it!

    Anyway, lets grab the survivors, and head back to the cave, and recuperate our losses, absorbing Garrelf's army.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:25 No.5138592
    >>5138570
    Grope Krann.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:26 No.5138599
    >>5138570
    Alright. We'll discuss this matter later then. Let's go kill the shit out of Heracles.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)00:27 No.5138606
    >>5138575
    This world's Xom doesn't use demons.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:27 No.5138611
    >>5138499
    Us, most likely.
    >> The Sandman !!ZUKCVYzSAiY 07/12/09(Sun)00:28 No.5138617
    Let's do it. Besides, once we become the Champion of Chaos, we could legitimately claim to be capable of stealing any divinity we wanted. After all, if you're an embodiment of chaos, then by definition you encompass all possibilities.

    And we can just mutate ourselves enough craftsdorfship skills to make Moonelf into Moongarrelf.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:28 No.5138621
    Guys, I think we need to evaluate our strengths here.

    We have no army, we're incredibly wounded, and we lost our Spider momma.

    I don't think we could take on the god of flowers and pacifism right now, let alone the god of STRENGTH AND KICKING ASS.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:28 No.5138626
    Grope Krann. If she's not toofreaked out, propose. You need someone to help you repopulate Buzzardloved after you purge it of its traitors.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:29 No.5138629
    Allright you buncha pansies! Enough clowning around! What is our status? Rally the troops! We set out for buzzardloved and Xom or no Xom we are going to TAKE buzzardloved. Do I make myself clear?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:29 No.5138637
    >>5138621
    Heracles is a pussy. Let's go kick his dick in.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:29 No.5138638
    Yes. Why not take every ounce of power you can?
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)00:30 No.5138641
    >>5138621
    We still have that one spider. If we had god powers, we could put all kinds of dakka on it and maybe paint it red.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:30 No.5138647
    Where did Xom originally come from? Only had experience with Dungeon Crawl, but I've heard other people from other games mention him.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:31 No.5138652
    >>5138576
    >we certainly can't afford to turn down xom's power
    We most certainly CAN afford to turn down Xom's power. We are not being immediately threatened by anything, except possibly Xom himself. Precious few beings can stand against us and live. There will always be more opportunities to chase down power, as long as we're alive (and quite possibly afterward).
    >> The Sandman !!ZUKCVYzSAiY 07/12/09(Sun)00:31 No.5138655
    Also, let's go find that water snake from the first chapter. Once we get around to it, we can give it Poseidon's divinity as a thank you for starting us on our crazy quest.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)00:32 No.5138660
    >>5138647
    He originally came from Dungeon Crawl.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:33 No.5138663
    FUCK

    YES.

    MASTER OF QUESTS IS BACK IN TOWN. WE MISSED YOU, GNOME.

    Ahem.

    I say we take stock of the current party/group/friends/WHATEVER, then decide what to do.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/12/09(Sun)00:34 No.5138672
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    >>5138580
    You are already in the cave! You wonder how you got up here.

    DRIBLIS is unconscious next to you, and several beds are spread about nearby. None are occupied. You here the sound of water running, and the sound of a crackling fire.

    KRANN is not within sight.

    >>5138647
    XOM is based on the Xom in Stone Soup. My version of him is distinctly different, however, but every picture of Xom ever seems to be based on my version, since the original had no drawings of him.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:34 No.5138673
    >>5138652
    Moridan is pissed off at us, so prolly Yog for being buddies with Xom
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:35 No.5138679
    Send a Prayer to Moradin. Remind him his days are numbered.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)00:35 No.5138681
    Go to the windmill and say you need somebody to join your party. Ignore everything else and leave immediately if nobody accepts.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:37 No.5138701
    Search for Krann/Naga
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:38 No.5138712
    >>5138679
    don't do that. He'll just use his magic earth rape powers to rape us. To death.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)00:39 No.5138719
    >>5138672
    The creator of the original dungeon crawl made two other games that mention Xom, but they might be completely unrelated.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:40 No.5138728
    >>5138712

    If he can find us. No eyes, remember?
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)00:41 No.5138738
    >>5138728
    He can find us if we're touching the ground.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/12/09(Sun)00:42 No.5138748
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    >>5138672
    "Beardbeard! You're alive! Thank the heavens. We thought you'd never wake up!"

    Presley looks a bit worn and thin and not nearly as burned and skin missing as you remember.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:43 No.5138761
    I say we take Xom's offer. Xom is one of the strongest gods, if not the.

    1. Take championhood

    2. Kill the super-lawful Moradin

    3. Take his divinity

    4. ???

    5. PROFIT
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:44 No.5138768
    >>5138748
    "I surprise everyone. 'S my life mission. How is everybody?"
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:44 No.5138770
    >>5138748
    How the hell did we get here Presley? Where is everybody, and how are you ok?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:44 No.5138774
    "How long was I out? Who's left?"
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)00:45 No.5138782
    >>5138774
    This and "I need a drink".
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:45 No.5138784
    >>5138774

    "WHY ARE WE NOT MARCHING ON BUZZARDLOVED!"
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:48 No.5138806
    Ask Presley if he is ok, and where the delicious Naga medic went to
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)00:49 No.5138812
    Ask where Garrelf's body is too.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/12/09(Sun)00:53 No.5138853
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    >>5138774
    >How long was I out?
    "Its been 5 months! I am so glad you're okay. By Fate, you never once stopped to heal, did you? You had wounds that were injured!"

    >Whose left?
    "Just Krann, Driblis, me, and three kobolds. That water priest guy went back to try and revive what's left of his people. We haven't heard back from him."

    >>5138782
    >I need a drink
    "We have a barrel of ale for in case you woke up, come with me. KRAAAAN, BEARDBEARD IS AWAKE!"

    >>5138812
    "Krann had Garrelf's body cremated. It seems he'd done some pretty unspeakable things..."
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:56 No.5138867
    >>5138853
    Well, we won't be doing any conquering with that bunch. Let's become an adventuring party!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:56 No.5138868
    >>5138853
    "...Five months?"
    *drink*
    "...Fuck."
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:56 No.5138875
    >"Krann had Garrelf's body cremated. It seems he'd done some pretty unspeakable things..."

    Was this a proper viking funeral is Beardbeard going to have to choke a bitch?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:58 No.5138892
    >>5138875
    Let it go. We're not wasting anything on revenge, especially not a potential ally.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)00:58 No.5138894
    >>5138853
    "What about all the spider corpses?"
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)00:59 No.5138896
    >>5138853
    Is Driblis asleep or has he been out too?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:01 No.5138916
    >>5138875

    Agreed. No one shows disrespect to our fallen friends. Lets go punish her for her insolance.

    Assuming she's been insolant, of course, if she did it respectfully, then good job. Either way, we should make some sexual advances towards her, its what Garelf would have wanted.

    We need to rally our troops. Lets gather them up and let them know how impressed we were at their deeds in that battle. Give Driblis a promotion if we can, and let Presley know that his loyalty over all this time will not go unrewarded. We're like our survivors. They remind us of ourselves, and goddamn, they should know how proud we are of them.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)01:02 No.5138933
    >>5138916
    We are not Garelf, and we have no army.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:04 No.5138947
    I'd have sworn that there were at least a couple spiders left...
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:05 No.5138960
    >>5138916
    >sexual advances
    Stop trying to get fap fuel, you creepy fucks.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:05 No.5138963
    >>5138853
    "Driblis is still out? If he was as hurt as me, he should be dead. Is he ever gonna wake up?"
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/12/09(Sun)01:07 No.5138982
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    Over your short walk, Presley answers a few questions.
    >>5138896
    >What about Driblis? Is he sleeping, or has he been out too?
    "He's... also, been unconscious this entire time."

    >>5138894
    >And the spiders?
    "Used to feed the surviving spider. He makes a very good watchdog. We've named him Lolth II, after his mother."

    And then Krann. "Oh Beardbeard, thank you. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you, on behalf of my people, for freeing us from Garrelf's oppressive reign. I am so glad you are okay."
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:08 No.5138991
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    <3
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:09 No.5139006
    >>5138933

    We have a double general do we not? We have at least three kobolds, do we not? Good sir, under our leadership I do say we have an army! How many of them are left doesnt matter. They stood by us in the worst of times, after all their friends and allies fell. This was our battle on saint cispens day, good sir! They will show their scars with pride! You would take that away from them now, when there is all the more glory to be had, by declairing our army disbanded? Nay! For though we hang low now, cowering in this stone box of a cave, we shall rise up once more, and take back what is rightfully ours! It may not be easy. It may not be quick, but with Xom as my witness, we shall lead this army to victory again!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:09 No.5139008
    >>5138982
    "And now begins the reign of Beard-Beard! I must now search out a proper wife, for I must have someone to rule my people with!"
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:10 No.5139013
    >>5138982
    Offer a hug for Krann, she looks like she needs one.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)01:11 No.5139021
    >>5138982
    Ask if Garelf had any loot on him.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:11 No.5139024
    >>5138982

    Beardbeard x Naga: One True Pair.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:11 No.5139031
    >>5138982

    Our duty is clear. We must seek out a cleric to find heal our Double-General.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:12 No.5139032
    Wasnt Garelf king of the elfs or something? Doesnt killing him make us king of the elfs?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:12 No.5139038
    >freeing us from Garrelf's oppressive reign.

    Make the :awesome: face.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)01:12 No.5139039
    >>5139006
    Shut the hell up. We could kill Moradin in 5 seconds with the proper equipment.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)01:13 No.5139047
    >>5139032
    No, the elves don't need him anymore.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:13 No.5139048
    >>5138982
    Confess you never intended to free her people and it was just a happy accident. Offer her a position in your group for her help, however.

    Ask Presley what he thinks on the Championage issue, if he knows we worship Xom.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:16 No.5139074
    >>5138982
    She's in for a surprise.
    By surprise I mean we enslave her people and make them servants of the kobolds that are left. We'll collect more kobolds later with the promise of Naga slaves for everyone.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:17 No.5139089
    >>5139039

    I think he's just trying to say that we should let them know we appreciate all they've given up for us.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:20 No.5139106
    >>5139031
    Seconding this. Driblis is a cool guy, needs our help if possible.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:22 No.5139119
    >>5139074

    This.

    But first we need to get organized and get our bearings. Any idea where we are on the world map? What do we have to do to claim Heracle's divinity? Where are we going and what are we currently trying to do? Healing Driblis sounds like a good idea. Where do we have to go to do that?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/12/09(Sun)01:22 No.5139128
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    >>5139048
    >Confess you never intended to free her people and it was just a happy accident. Offer her a position in your group for her help, however.
    "Oh, I was planning on staying for a while. I-if you don't mind, I mean." Krann takes hold of Presley's hand.

    >Ask Presley what he thinks about the Chaos champion thing.
    "I say it would be a good idea, but I will stand by anything you choose."
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:23 No.5139133
    I know we're not covering that right now, but I wanna give a vote for NOT being xom's champion.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:24 No.5139137
    >>5139128
    Damn his cockblocking ways!
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)01:24 No.5139138
    >>5139128
    Did we drink that ale yet? If not, drink it then see if your voice will wake Driblis.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:24 No.5139140
    >>5139128
    Kraan looks pregnant. WAY TO GO PRESLEY
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:25 No.5139148
    He's worse than lily Roosterhalt!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:25 No.5139149
    i second the motion to make ourselves king of the naga bitches. they would make a great army
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:26 No.5139159
    >>5139128
    AS THE FUTURE CHAMPION OF CHAOS I WOULD BE REMISS IN BEING THE KING AND RULER OF A COUNTRY.

    PRESLEY, I APPOINT YOU KING AND DRIBLIS INFINITY GENERAL.

    YOU WILL RULE AS WELL AS KEEP A LARGE SUPPLY OF BEER AND A ROOM, INCLUDING A BED, MADE OF ROCK FOR ME IN CASE I DECIDE TO STOP BY.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:26 No.5139163
    >>5139128
    See, she's freed from one brutal overpowering male master and immediately goes for another. The Naga people are MADE for slavery! It'd almost be a crime against nature itself not to utilize this bountiful new resource. All in favor of slave-Nagas for all of Beardbeard's new empire say Aye!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:27 No.5139168
    >>5139128
    Dawwww.

    Alrighty, let's get DRUNK. Offer some to Presley in congratulations on... developments, see if we can wake up Driblis, then...

    CHAMPIONHOOD.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:27 No.5139170
    >>5139128
    Find more exotic race, make one our Bitch/queen. SonSun needs a mother, and kingdom needs queen.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:27 No.5139173
    Let's not reconquer Buzzardloved. We don't need to rule a city to be awesome.

    Let's aim for godhood.

    But in the short term, ask Krann if she can heal Driblis and the other bolds, or, if not, if she knows where we can go to get them healed.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:28 No.5139181
    >>5139163

    Aye! You have my sword!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:28 No.5139183
    >>5139159
    I like this one.

    Also yell at Driblis to GET THE FUCK UP, LAD
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:28 No.5139188
    Ye olde laugh at the handy holdy stuffs. But good naturedly.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)01:28 No.5139190
    >>5139163
    Beardbeard isn't one for slavery. He prefers democracy.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:29 No.5139191
    For all the people voting against being Xom's champion, how else are we supposed to fix our hands?

    Then we can use our Axe of the Pit, and rape the shit out of Heracles. Seriously doing some random fetch quest for Xom is worth it for our hands.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:30 No.5139201
    >>5139190
    >democracy
    And that's why we're voting!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:30 No.5139203
    >>5139128
    Well, it appears that Krann is taken. Our compliments to Presley on his taste. We can't steal his lady, obviously. That would be rude.

    It would also be rude to enslave his woman's people, come to think of it. Maybe we should locate and abuse a different servitor race.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:30 No.5139209
    >>5139191
    Hell, we can get even better mutations.

    Scales, long claws, real damn wings...
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:30 No.5139210
    Guys. Guys. We don't need Krann as our waifu. I actually suggest Kav, she's kill crazy, she enjoys weapons, hot, she worships Heracles so she'll be a follower of us if we take his divinity. Only downsize is her size. But when we're god we can find a way around that.

    Ask Presley and Krann how long this thing has been going on and congratulate them.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)01:30 No.5139213
    >>5139170
    We should go find a demonspawn women. Demonspawns love chaos and shit.
    >>5139173
    All the other bolds are healed and left, Driblis is the only one still out and he's healed too.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:31 No.5139214
    "i think ill take fate up on that offer next time i hear from him because i dontgiveaFUCK"
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:31 No.5139215
    >>5139191

    Yeah, until Xom's request comes in at the last minute: Give me Heracule's godhood rather than taking it yourself. Do you really want to give the GM a free "dick with the player" card?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:32 No.5139221
    >>5139163
    AYE! Raise funds for a new army by selling pictures of Krann and Presley romancing.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:32 No.5139223
    >>5139191
    Garrelf's all ashified now .. Presley thinks it's a good idea .. leaning toward accepting now.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:32 No.5139225
    >>5139215
    Why would the strongest goddamn god want the divinity of the weakest?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:32 No.5139227
    To everyone saying "Let's enslave the nagas!" I'd like to remind you most of them are dead now.

    Seriously, why do you think >That water priest guy went back to try and revive what's left of his people.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:33 No.5139230
    >>5139210

    FUND IT
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:33 No.5139231
    >>5139210

    FUND IT
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)01:33 No.5139235
    >>5139210
    We won't be able to get Finlay on our side if we associate ourselves with Kav. Also, go into the woods and kill an elf or fluffy animal.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:33 No.5139244
    There have to be more kobolds then just the one village we found. We know kobolds put up with the servitude because it's not like they were doing anything useful with their freedom anyway, and at least this way they get glory.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)01:34 No.5139248
    >>5139225
    To make a hero sandwich.
    >> RYXlord 07/12/09(Sun)01:34 No.5139251
    Just a thought... and maybe we can ask Satan or Fate or whoever on this, but... couldnt we just send a prayer to Hercules challenging him to single combat? I mean, we could spend a week getting ready, then when we're at our strongest we can just call him, right? Is he honestly the sort of god to refuse that type of thing? I say we hedge our bets and dont take any deals from Xom until we've secured our godhood.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:35 No.5139254
    >>5139227
    Well, then we'll collect them when they're resurrected/help resurrect them and then enslave them. We're going to need to get slaves for our evil empire from somewhere, after all, and Elves are a bit blasty and have thin little girl arms. They wouldn't even make good tables.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)01:35 No.5139256
    >>5139251
    What about our mutations? Heracles also has guns.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:36 No.5139258
    >>5139251
    Gods have to accept challenges. Remember when we killed Glidergold
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:36 No.5139262
    >>5139235
    We don't want Finlay on our side. All of Aldwinside should be left alone as much as possible so they can live their HAPPY ENDINGS. And we can make her grow to near our size so they won't recognize her.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:37 No.5139266
    >>5139256
    NO ARMS
    NO LEGS

    SIXTEEN AXES

    ALL MADE FROM RAW CHAOS
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:38 No.5139275
    So ..

    Continue quest of reconquest or run with Xom? Decide guys!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/12/09(Sun)01:39 No.5139279
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    >>5139138
    >>5139168
    Beardbeard and Presley share some ale. Ahhhh, Ale. Delicious alcohol.

    >>5139173
    >Ask Krann about healing Driblis
    "I HAVE healed him, and you. Both of you have no broken bones or outside wounds remaining, but it takes time to rest off the damage. Driblis will wake up in due time. I wish I could tell you when that will be."

    >>5139210
    >Ask Presley and Krann how long this thing has been going on and congratulate them.
    "About a month after we met. So... 4 months now. We're going to get married when we have the chance to go to a temple of Fate."
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)01:39 No.5139284
    >>5139262
    Finlay is really strong and has low logic/charm. He wasn't meant to not fight. At least Kav still has her legit joint.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:40 No.5139287
    Gnome, update the quests:

    "Find a cleric to heal our Double-General"
    "Find Kav, offer her guns, ask her out"
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:40 No.5139291
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    >>5139266
    No.

    See this fucker?

    He's made of RAW CHAOS.

    He has animals and shit coming out of him when he wants them to and they do their own thing (kill everyone else).

    We go like that, only instead of animals we have AXES and ALE coming out.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:41 No.5139301
    >>5139279
    WALK OVER TO THAT INFINITY GENERAL

    TELL HIM TO WAKE THE FUCK UP HE HAS SOME INFINITIES TO GENERAL.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)01:42 No.5139311
    >>5139266
    We can't do that unless we become a champion of Xom first.
    >>5139287
    He's already healed.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:42 No.5139313
    "Presley - you really think it's a good idea?"
    *drink*
    >> Heresy Cat 07/12/09(Sun)01:44 No.5139331
    Can we call Fate back and accept the deal?

    Then again, we might want to use the day we gained for GETTING SHIT IN ORDER. The moment we accept, Xom will probably want something from us.

    QUICK. Do we have anything important to do first?
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)01:45 No.5139338
    Gnome, what is the nearest city/place? I want us to go there after we finish drinking since nothing important is going on here(unless Driblis wakes the fuck up).
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:45 No.5139340
    >>5139313

    add on "He could tell me to kill you or the rest whenever he wants, and I'd have to obey."
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:46 No.5139345
    >>5139291

    Fuck yeah nero
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:46 No.5139350
    1: Become Xom's Champion.
    2: Change ARMY into ADVENTURING PARTY
    3: Do research on Heracles.
    4: Challenge and kill Heracles.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:46 No.5139352
    >>5139331
    Recruit Kav/Kav's boys
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:46 No.5139353
    >>5139331
    Yah - tell Driblis he's in charge of reconquest operations &c. Something's come up for us we have to attend to ...
    Xom? Oh Xom? Yoo hoo!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:48 No.5139364
    >>5139279
    Ask Fate to marry them when he "prays" you in the morning.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:49 No.5139369
    Seriously people, don't become xom's champion. It's be pretty much the ultimate shooting ourselves in the foot.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:51 No.5139384
    >>5139369

    Agreed. We may be evil, but at least we're in control of our own fate right now. If we become Xom's Champion it could pit us against our friends, and I don't think I could take that.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:53 No.5139401
    We're essentially a champion of Xom already, if only in spirit, why not get the actual perks to go along with it?
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)01:53 No.5139402
    >>5139384
    We aren't evil if we care about people.
    >> Totallynotsamefag !!PwrhihocaUN 07/12/09(Sun)01:53 No.5139404
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    >>5139384
    >beardbeard
    >friends
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:53 No.5139405
    >>5139384
    Then were you ever really supposed to be here to begin with? Go back to Aldwinside.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:53 No.5139408
    >>5139384
    Who the fuck cares?

    Since day 1 we've been doing awesome shit because it was awesome. Now we're going to be doing awesome shit because the awesome god tells us to do something awesome.

    You don't want to REFUSE Xom, do you? That would be a bad idea.
    >> Heresy Cat 07/12/09(Sun)01:54 No.5139409
    >>5139384
    >>5139369
    We need that power, and we need the ability to control our fucking mutations.

    WE CAN BARELY FUCKING FIGHT LIKE THIS.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:54 No.5139412
    >>5139384
    >pit us against our friends,

    Whoa. I hadn't thought of that. Um .. ok. That's a problem. I don't think BB would be able to swing this.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)01:56 No.5139434
    >>5139384
    >If we become Xom's Champion it could pit us against our friends

    I doubt Xom would do that. Seriously, tons of power at the cost of destroying your friends and loved ones? How cliche and unoriginal. Plus, it's not like the fight would be entertaining, BB's already the strongest fighter of our group, and with Xom's power added on top he'd annihilate them. How boring.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/12/09(Sun)01:58 No.5139446
         File1247378324.gif-(1.06 MB, 600x400, 10.gif)
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    >>5139301
    >DRIBLIS! This is Beardbeard, WAKE THE FUCK UP.
    animated.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:00 No.5139456
    >>5139434

    But it would come up at the most entertaining moment possible. Think: Driblis has just struck down Posideon and is in the process of claiming the godhood, bam, the order comes through to strike him down for the lulz of it.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:00 No.5139464
    >>5139446
    Turn to everyone else:

    "So NONE of you did that? God you all suck ass. Fuck this I'm going to be Xom's Champion."
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/12/09(Sun)02:02 No.5139472
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    >Pit Beardbeard against our friends
    Okay, I am going to step out of the game for a moment and say that no, no Xom will not do that. That would be lame, and altogether cruel. While I am capable of being both cruel and lame, DO NOT WANT.

    This particularly command, you can have my word Xom will not give.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:02 No.5139475
    Become Xom's Champion

    DO IT FAGGOT
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:03 No.5139487
    >>5139446
    That worked out shockingly well.

    How's it going, Driblis?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:03 No.5139489
    >>5139472

    God bless you Gnome. Wish my GM was as awesome as you.
    >> Totallynotsamefag !!PwrhihocaUN 07/12/09(Sun)02:03 No.5139491
    >>5139472
    there you go you bunch of pansies, can we do this now?
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)02:04 No.5139492
    >>5139464
    Beardbeard is the only one capable of doing this kind of thing.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:05 No.5139502
    >>5139472
    >>5139475
    Seconded.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:05 No.5139505
    Look, Beardbeard is lawful good.

    He has a tradition of killing everyone. Oh well, what can you do, right? Everyone needs a hobby.

    But non-elves? He SAVES those lives EVERY DAY by not killing things that aren't elves. That's pretty fucking altruistic if you ask me. How many lives have YOU saved? Zero? That's what the hell I thought.

    And the racial discrimination? That's what we call lawful and orderly. It's pretty simple, elves bad not elves good. How is that not lawful.

    Thus proving forever that Beardbeard is Lawful Good.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:06 No.5139512
    XOM AHOY!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:07 No.5139513
    >>5139472
    There we go. No more pussyfooting around. Xom's champion we shall be.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)02:07 No.5139517
    >>5139505
    No, he's chaotic neutral/awesome. He does not follow the law and will attack people out of greed/racism.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:08 No.5139521
    >>5139472
    >Piccolo.jpg
    ...Laaaaaaaame!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:10 No.5139540
    I still don't trust xom enough to not screw us over
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:10 No.5139541
    Find Girlfriend

    Become Xom's Champion

    Challenge Heracles

    FINAL DESTINATION
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:10 No.5139543
    Get fate on the motherfucking phone! Or hell, maybe we should take some initiative, call Xom up ourselves, let him know that it is fucking ON!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:12 No.5139560
    Okay, let's become Xom's champion and use his power to save Garrelf from ETERNAL DAMNATION.

    We're not mad at him anymore and the guy just doesn't deserve that shit.

    Then we can give Krann back to him. Or maybe that'd be a bit too cruel.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:14 No.5139575
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    >Look, Beardbeard is lawful good.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)02:14 No.5139576
    rolled 17 = 17

    Can we roll on crawl's list of races for introducing a new character?
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)02:15 No.5139583
    >>5139560
    We don't know about the Satan deal.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/12/09(Sun)02:15 No.5139584
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    You offer a prayer to Fate.
    >That Champion thing? Lets do it.
    "My, that was quick. Alright, here you go!"
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:16 No.5139592
    Wait wait, wasn't Pelor one of the very weakest gods? I mean, weaker than Heracles? How can Heracles still be Pelor's champion if he's stronger than him?

    Anyway, I say we rescue Garrelf first. Godhood can wait.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:17 No.5139597
    So, the catch must be something even worse than betraying all our friends.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)02:18 No.5139606
    >>5139584
    "Quick? It's been 5 months."
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:18 No.5139610
    Eh, fuck it, we can always kill Xom later.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:19 No.5139615
    >>5139597
    Hey, it's Xom we're talking about. There might be no catch at all.

    I mean, he is just a big lunatic. Maybe there is a bigger catch than we can handle, or maybe there's nothing.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:19 No.5139621
    >>5139584
    BRACE FOR IMPACT
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/12/09(Sun)02:19 No.5139622
         File1247379587.png-(20 KB, 600x400, 12.png)
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    >>5139584
    >CHAMPION OF XOM title obtained!
    >CONTROL MUTATION ability obtained!
    You can now activate or deactivate your mutations on a whim. This process is all or nothing. You will randomly mutate further, but these additional mutations are also within your control. You can extend your limbs to about double their normal length for short periods of time. You can choose not to obtain a new mutation if it is acquired.

    You cannot use AXE FOOT unless you are mutated. You cannot use your hands to hold anything while you are mutated. Except Ale, through sheer force of willpower.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:19 No.5139623
    >>5139597

    As long as it isnt that specific catch, I'm fine with it.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)02:20 No.5139628
    >>5139576
    The 17th race in crawl is the Kenku.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:21 No.5139630
    >>5139622
    FUCK YEAH
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:21 No.5139636
    >>5139284
    Since he has low logic, it won't take much to disguise Kav from him.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:22 No.5139639
    >>5139584
    Ask him to marry Krann and Presley
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)02:22 No.5139641
    >>5139622
    Can we MUTATE the FUCK out of our self and others?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:23 No.5139645
    For fucks sakes. Why am I not a Demigod? Demigods are the best race.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:23 No.5139647
    >>5139641
    We can hug Xom.

    And we should.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)02:23 No.5139648
    >>5139636
    Kav hates Finlay, not the other way around.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)02:24 No.5139654
    >>5139645
    Not in Dungeon Crawl they aren't.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:24 No.5139656
    >>5139636
    shouldn't we be more worried about kaz recognizing finlay?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:25 No.5139662
    >>5139656
    Are we getting Kav?
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)02:27 No.5139673
    Ask Xom what happened to his severed hand from when you fought Musclebeard.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:27 No.5139678
    Alright, we're Xom's champion now. Happy? We're still stuck in a cave with a very limited booze supply. We're all concius now, let's get marching! Theres got to be a town nearby, we'll settle in there for the night and figure out whats been happening in the world while we were out.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/12/09(Sun)02:29 No.5139690
         File1247380169.png-(24 KB, 600x400, 13.png)
    24 KB
    >>5139639
    >Ask Fate to marry Krann and Presley.
    "Sure, why not. Just let me write it into my book aaaaaand... bam, legally married."

    >>5139641
    The power to mutate others is granted only to priests of Xom, and you lack priestly training. You can, however, willingly choose to mutate yourself further at any time. New mutations are permanent.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:30 No.5139700
    >>5139690
    >"Sure, why not. Just let me write it into my book aaaaaand... bam, legally married."

    That was anticlimactic. Shouldn't we have had to ask them first?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:31 No.5139707
    >>5139648
    >>5139656
    Well she does think she's killed the guy so she won't go after him... but I guess that still gets in the way of teaming up with Finlay. I just don't really see him wanting to join us. He seems to be quite happy with his new friends. I don't think he'll go adventuring with us.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)02:31 No.5139711
    >>5139690
    Dammit.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:31 No.5139712
    >>5139690
    Then let's mutate those vestigial wings into full-fledged wings.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:31 No.5139717
    >>5139700

    I think its best to let it be a surprise.

    Its more entertaining that way.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:31 No.5139718
    >>5139690
    Ask if it's not too much trouble if he could do it in person.

    Tell him we'd owe him one. He's bound to love that.

    Then promote Driblis to INFINITY GENERAL.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)02:33 No.5139727
    >>5139712
    We can only randomly mutate I think. Can we also polymorph? I'm pretty sure polymorphing falls under Xom's domain.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:33 No.5139728
    >>5139690

    Ask how to become priestly and if that entails extra LOLRANDOM duties, because I'm picturing BB stepping up to big H, H raises his sword, and BB just raises a hand, points at him, and H starts mutating extra arms, eyes, mouths, becomes a glob of flesh, can't speak anymore, mouths fuse shut, grows a few heads half-out of his chest, and just MUTATE MUTATE MUTATEing the guy into a quivering mass of flesh that knows only its own pain.

    And Xom is pleased.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:33 No.5139731
    >>5139712
    I really doubt we get to pick and choose our mutations.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)02:34 No.5139734
    >>5139728
    There's a spell in dungeon crawl that does that.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:34 No.5139739
    >>5139690
    Do we have any control over areas of our body we want to mutate?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/12/09(Sun)02:35 No.5139755
         File1247380557.png-(36 KB, 600x400, 13.png)
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    >>5139700
    "They were going to get married two days from now anyway, might as well bump them up."

    >>5139739
    "You can try to control your new mutations, but they won't always go as planned. Sometimes you will get lucky, though."
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:38 No.5139778
    >>5139755

    Lets do it. Roll for mutation.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:38 No.5139779
    You know, I was expecting more from the advertised mutation control than an on/off switch.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:39 No.5139784
    >>5139755
    Right. Change into ABOMINATION BEARDBEARD and try to mutate USELESS WINGS into USEFUL WINGS. We can then use those against Moradin so he can't sense us with TREMOR SENSE.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:40 No.5139799
    So we're the champion now? When are we going to stop sitting on our asses and do stuff? Garrelf's rescue and godhood come to mind.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)02:41 No.5139806
    >>5139784
    Wait about the stone skin?
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)02:42 No.5139813
    Being the champion sucks. Priests of Xom can already do what we can and more.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:42 No.5139821
    Autosaging.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:43 No.5139835
    >>5139806
    We'll get around that by using Heracles's divinity to make an axe that could cut through even diamonds. We will call it the DIAMOND CUTTER.

    It'll be like Bill Door's scythe.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:44 No.5139846
    I'm just looking over the list of random mutations in the warhammer tomb of corruption.

    Fun Fun Fun.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:47 No.5139875
    >>5139690
    Let's mutate our hands further. Anything is better than cancerous blobs.
    Hell, let's just play Russian Roulette with this power until we get something nifty. We can always turn the mutations off anyhow.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/12/09(Sun)02:48 No.5139887
         File1247381295.png-(16 KB, 600x400, 13.png)
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    >>5139799
    >Garrelf's Rescue
    >Garrelf's monument
    >Godhood
    >Hunt down Kav or some other girl to woo
    The way I see it, those are our current goals. Which one do we want to pursue at the moment? Beardbeard can't focus when all of you are yelling different ideas at him, and killing Garrelf's girlfriend for her godhood doesn't make sense.

    >>5139846
    I'd like a link to that, if possible. Sounds genuinely useful.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:48 No.5139894
    >>5139875
    bad idea.

    though, I do agree with MUTATE HANDS. maybe we can get a CLUBARM, or BLADEARM, or maybe HANDSAGAIN.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:49 No.5139906
    >>5139887
    I say Godhood. Then we fight Moradin on equaler terms.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:50 No.5139908
    >>5139887
    I say Garrelf. Nothing in the world is as important as a friend in need.

    Bros before hos. Or before gods, for that matter.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:50 No.5139911
    Explore nearby towns for info on current events and Heracles.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:51 No.5139921
    >>5139887
    >Godhood
    This one takes it. We can worry about the rest of it after ultimate cosmic power.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:51 No.5139922
    >>5139887
    Godhood.

    LET'S KICK THE SHIT OUT OF THAT PANSY ASS HERACLES!
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)02:52 No.5139934
    rolled 3 = 3

    >>5139887
    Lets ask the magical dice god.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:52 No.5139940
    >>5139887
    Godhood. Then we can carve Garrelf's face on the moon with ease, and we can woo Kav. We'd be her god. You don't turn your god down.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:53 No.5139949
    >>5139906
    >>5139921
    >>5139922
    Sure whatever, if you don't like the idea of your BEST FRIEND EVER HAVING BEEN IN HORRIBLE TORMENT FOR FIVE MONTHS ALREADY AND HE'S GOING TO BE THERE FOR LONG STILL IF YOU IGNORE HIM.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:54 No.5139956
    >>5139887
    >I'd like a link to that, if possible. Sounds genuinely useful.

    The table alone is like, 25 pages or so. I'll see what I can do to get it for you though.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:54 No.5139964
    >>5139949
    dude, he'll be fine for like, another week.

    seriously, how long could godhood take?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:54 No.5139966
    >>5139949
    WE DON'T KNOW THAT YET. WE CAN'T METAGAME. WE'LL PROBABLY LEARN IT WHEN WE GET OUR GODHOOD AND TALK TO SATAN.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)02:55 No.5139974
    rolled 3 = 3

    >>5139956
    Are the amount of mutations on each page consistent?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:56 No.5139983
    Wait, garrelf's dead, we killed him. He shouldn't have too much to be rescued from- why are you guys trying to rescue him?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:58 No.5140002
    >>5139983
    Because he's our friend.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)02:58 No.5140008
    >>5139983
    He's in Hell, isn't he? But we don't know that yet. And he might be having a great time being a demon lord or something. Garrelf's resourceful.
    >> Heresy Cat 07/12/09(Sun)03:00 No.5140020
    I say we should at least do something sappy in remembrance of our best friend forever.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)03:02 No.5140032
    rolled 3 = 3

    >>5140020
    But the dice says to go get godhood.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)03:02 No.5140034
    >>5140020
    we're GONNA get him back.

    it's on our list.

    just not yet.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)03:04 No.5140052
    >>5139934
    >>5139974
    >>5140032
    I think the answer is clear.

    LET'S FUCK UP HERACLES
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)03:05 No.5140060
    We will acheive Godhood for the glory of our lost friend, in honor of his help and awesomeness.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 07/12/09(Sun)03:08 No.5140093
    rolled 1 = 1

    There are almost 300 posts in this thread.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 07/12/09(Sun)03:11 No.5140113
         File1247382668.gif-(1.2 MB, 600x400, THE ABYSS.gif)
    1.2 MB
    New thread: >>5140102

    Here, have an animated .gif I made.

    >>5139956
    If its on /rs/ that would work also, if you give me the book title. Thanks a ton.

    >>5139934
    >>5139974
    >>5140032
    ...The dice have spoken.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)04:04 No.5140562
    >>ROCKING THE AUTOSAGE HUH?



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