I am unsure how to respond.

My first thought is an Elf would be able to get appropriate Dex far easier.

>>5253187

Spider-dorf, spider-dorf
Does whatever a spider ought
Can he swig, from a beer?
Just look down over here,
Hey y'all, here sculls the spider-dorf!

Is he strong? Listen Mac!
He cuts out tunnels with an ax.
Climbs a wall, without fear
Using hairs, from his beard
Look out!
There goes the spider-dorf.

Dok Ork is a roight proper Mekboy innihe? Wot wif dem twistee bitz an all .

>>5253187

Saved so fucking hard

Guys you cant do this its summer

>>5253364

Whoops. Back to the shitflood, then.

>>5253187
>>5253273
>>5253293
Oh my god...

>>5253187
Zog, dats sharp!

PIOTR PARKERSON!

WITH GREAT BEARD

COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY

Spider man would be more of an elf.

Faggy, tight clothing, gangly body.

Now if it were a dwarf, we're looking at Batman, Wolverine, or the like.

>>5254551

Come on now, elves don't have a monopoly on homoeroticism.

>dwarf
>Batman
>Wolverine

Both Batman and Wolverine are far to tall, fast, and agile to be one of those little bearded vermin. They're not elves either, but no way in hell are they dwarves.

Thor is a Dwarf.

>>5254551
wolverine is a troll, as pointed by odin.

batman is a rouge halfling.

superman is a DMPC.

WonderWoman is an elf.

who else?

>>5254663
goshdarn, forgot to clear the name field.

>>5254663
>wolverine is a troll
Half-Orc barbarian would be closer, IMO. All the Troll has in it's favour is they both regenerate and have claws.

>batman is a rouge halfling.
Halfling? lolwut? He's a Human Rogue.

>superman is a DMPC.
>WonderWoman is an elf.
Can't argue with these two.

>>5254648
>wolverine
>too tall

Nightcrawler is a Drow (especially in 4E)

Wolverine is a Shifter.

Thor is a Genasi.

And Batman? Well if Batman isn't a human then he is a Bugbear. :|

Couldn't Batman pass as a vampire?

>>5254689
T'was a joke. in one of the avengers comic, he met odin who was seeking for his son to make a arranged wedding. odim mistooked him for a troll and proceeded to beat the snot out of him.

it didnt tooked long and they convinced odin that wolverine wasnt a troll, but when spider man discovered that wolvie had purposely set him up, he point to wolverine and claims him to be a troll. odin then proceeds to bash him again...

>>5254738
thanks to twilignt, nothing will ever again pass as for vampires.

>>5254775
Sure it will.

We will only have to wait a few years for someone to make bad ass vampire movie again.

>>5254800

Is there a such thing as a vampire movie that isn't faggy for this reason or that?

Vampires are faggots at the very core of thier being, you can't have a vampire themed work and then not have it be filled with complete faggotry.

>>5254822
Let the Right One in was pretty good.

Besides I am not gonna bother watching Twilight anyway and you are all being a bunch of fags for making such a big deal out of it.

>>5254551
>dwarf
>Batman

done.

>>5254884
From one guy with fancy gadgets to another...

>>5254953

Spammers cannot overpower the might of pure patriotism!

>>5254648
>Wolverine
>too tall

Seriously?

He's canon 5'3"

Fucking movies.

>>5253187
>>5254884
>>5254935
>>5254960

FLAMING BEARD OF HELLFIRE

>>5254998
I had a Dwarf that used a beard made of fire.

He was awesome. Wish I had used some Ghostrider inspiration now though.

And, of course...


Dorfpool.

>>5255022
Shouldn't his beard be missing a few patches. Like his head?

>>5255027
notice how short it is? he cut off bits of it that wouldn't grow proper.

So awesome.

>>5255068
would be so much cooler if the girl with the sword was pissing the sheep girl's back ;_;

>>5254842
> Vampires are faggots at the very core of thier being, you can't have a vampire themed work and then not have it be filled with complete faggotry.

Are you so sure about that?

>>5254842
>Vampires are faggots at the very core of thier being, you can't have a vampire themed work and then not have it be filled with complete faggotry.
is that so?.

>>5255223
>>5255193

Hive mind

>>5255223
>>5255193
Well, Hellsing is pretty gay. I can't think of a single character that would encourage a straight male to watch it.

>>5254842
Jack disapproves of your faggotry.

>>5255235
No it wasn't. The posts were 8 minutes apart.

I like vampires but I thought hellsing was stupid.

Anime characters have fucking stupid powerlevels

>>5255246

They're still about the same thing and posted right after one another you giant faggot.

>>5255251
But that's not how Hivemind WORKS. If there's more than 3 minutes difference in post times, it's automatically assumed that the second poster saw the first, and rolled with it. The fact that they were right next to each other in the thread means NOTHING.

>>5255251
hivemind has to be within the same minute to be a hivemind, and please dont call people idiots, we like to be polite here on 4chan

>>5255256
>>5255257
Meta-hivemind.

>>5255257

Yeah, be polite, you worhtless faggot.

>>5255263
Are... Are you getting off on them being polite?

"Yeah, just' like that... Be Nice to me... OH YEAH."

HEY
/TG/
I LOVE YOU

>>5255241
the major. always the major.

>>5255193
>>5255223
Hellsing is complete faggotry

>>5255301

Only a fucking queer would not want to slam-fuck schrodinger in the ass while nibbling on the back of his neck

>>5255306
>only a gay person would refuse gay sex
Elaborate.

>>5255301
Hellsing is fucking awesome.

Whats not to like about it. Alucard dresses like a pimp, has bad ass guns, a Vampire that doesn't go on about his feelings and he never feels guilt over excessive murder. Also there is a chick with huge knockers.

>>5256865
Yeah like remember that part where Alucard was starting to lose and all he did was just go "Okay now I'm more powerful" and won.

Then he did this over and over and fucking over?

Yeah Hellsing is awesome, it's like Dragonball Z with extra faggotry crammed into it.

>>5257264

You don't read Hellsing for the tense fights - the outcome is always obvious whenever Alucard is involved.

>>5257318
>Foregone conclusions are entertaining.

>>5257264
Still better then any of the immortal American superheroes that also wont die.

Manga/Anime does not have monopoly on hard to kill characters.

>>5257338
Take a look at any video game, ever.

>>5257338
Well, sure. You don't watch Hellsing because "Oh my gosh Arucard is in trouble, how will he get out of it now????"

You watch it because you think "Heh, Arucard's going to kick that guy's ass. I wonder how much of him will be left?"

The only thing Hellsing pissed me off is when Anderson died.

Stopped reading after that.

>>5257357
Weaboo cunt, love your country.
ProTip: Japs hate you because you're not Jap, and we nuked them twice and ass raped their emperor.
>>5257361
Video Games are by their nature NOT a foregone conclusion. You can lose. Multiple times. You can try again, but it's not like you walk up to the console and press "I WIN" six tiems and get FMV for your trouble.

I believe this thread started with awesome spiderdorf.

Stop with the vampire faggotry already.

>>5257396
That must be REAL entertaining for like 5 seconds. Oh he won again...? How did he do it this time?

An escalating threat anime, where regardless of how the threat escalates, there's never ANY doubt never mind of defeat, but even of a good fight.

Sounds su-fucking-perb.

I though people only read Hellsing for tits and Nazis.

>>5257405
So, just because someone prefers the entertainment media produced by some other country, they must hate their own country?
Does liking Pizza mean you're an Italian sympathizer?

>>5257463
Damn straight you fucking pinko raghead.

>>5257434
>I though people only read Hellsing for tits and Nazis.
Naw there are also vampires that are not Twilight.

Also I am Euro-trash so I am free to choose as I wish.

>>5257498
Not according to Brussels...

>>5257483
If your first choice for Vampires is Hellsing, and apparently your only other choice is Twilight... Wow... you need to get out more, literacy wise.

>>5257539
I know there are more choices of vampires but Hellsing is still win.

>>5257407
I second this worthy statement.

>>5257573
Yes, Tits and Nazis are cool.

I just can't get behind "I winz coz I'm reverse Dracula." He pisses me off. He's essentially just a Kamen Rider, but with blood drinking. And hell, even most riders have a challenge before they just win effortlessly.

>>5257616
Actually it is revealed in the story that Alucard is Dracula. For some reason they call him Alucard after he is enslaved.

>>5257696
....
where in my post did I make myself seem like a retard?

Anyone who's seen Hellsing for more than an instant has made the Alucard Dracula connection. Cause it's fucking pianfully obvious.

>>5257357
>Glorious nippon is sugoi

>>5257716
Whatever.

Argumenting on 4chan is mind-numbing.

Animie tries to hard with powerlevel faggotry.

The only way for them to make a character "badass" is for them to act like an asshole and push them over 9000.

>>5257998
Powerlevel faggotry is everywhere. Especially 40k.

>>5257716
theres some foreshadowning on it. the original hellsing met dracula in shambles, grieving the lost of his loved one. for some odd reason he decided to keep him in the hellsing HQ and call him their ultimate weapon.

truth be told, it really looked like both knew that integra was gonna be his lover reincarnated, and thus alucard agreeded to "wait" until then. alucard is really dracula in any way, wich just raises the mary sue levels off the chart.

>>5257998
This is the opposite of true.

>>5257998
You're making the mistake of thinking that just because Alucard is an unstoppable force, the plot progression and outcomes for all of the other characters is a forgone conclusion. It's the side characters that really made it for me, Alucard is mainly as you have so rightly pointed out, just God from the machine.