Shoot self in head while falling off cliff.

Shoot self in head.

>>5321215
>>5321220

Shoot self in the kneecaps and through the elbows and roll off the cliff.

>>5321215
You shoot yourself, but find out that the beret is bullet-proof. So, you simply jump off the cliff. The gun seems less detailed.

Cock the gun, shove it up ass, pull trigger, use result to pleasure self.

>>5321232
You cannot figure out a way to roll in two dimensions.

>>5321242
Remove beret. Attempt shooting head again.

>>5321242

I make sure I hit head first. Not even a beret can save my head from being crushed.

>>5321250
The bullets go through your body and hit the bulletproof beret, somehow stopping you from falling.

>>5321206

I attempt to do something productive in this quest: I stand up once I hit the bottom, and move to the RIGHT.

>>5321301
You slowly float to the bottom and then take the gun out of anus. You then toss gun away, for barrel is filled with crap. Afterward, you move right, though you have trouble moving due to the bullets stuck in your brain.

I open up the main menu, and choose QUIT.

>>5321324

I start practice frisbeeing with the beret. It's clearly some kind of godly level artifact and will make a more suitable weapon than the firearm.

>>5321330
You quit the game. However, everyone else continues playing, for this is a multiplayer game.

>>5321324
Remove the beret, reinsert the gun into anus, fire again to knock bullets out of brain.

>>5321324
I keep gimping along, drooling and making "HERP DERP" noises as I shuffle along to the RIGHT. What do I see?

>>5321336
You toss the beret in a frizbee-like fashion. You are mediocre with the beret, but you figure out how to use it properly.

>>5321360
You gimp along quite effectively, soon seeing a CACTUS.

>>5321295
RAILROAD!

>>5321400
carefully remove interior of cactus, install self in cactus shell, enjoy comfort of new CACTUS ARMOR.

Also, insert cactus spine into either ear or nose, use as probe to locate and extract bullets from brain.

>>5321400

THROW THE BERET AT IT.

You die of AIDS.

>>5321423
You create Cactus Armor, the cactus-y armor in all the land!
However, it is hard to scratch an itch.

You remove bullets with cactus spine and then place beret on top of cactus armor.

>>5321462
Fight some dinosaurs. IN SPACE.

>>5321462
follow the railroad to where its going

>>5321490
>>5321476
follow railroad into space. fight dinosaur train conductors

>>5321427
You toss the beret at your cactus armor while you're in it. It cracks a bit and the beret falls to the ground.

>>5321500
Pick up beret and use it to fight the dinosaur train conductors IN SPACE.

>>5321496
You follow railroad into space. A dinosaur with a special hat, gas mask, jetpack, and cutlass, stands in front of you. You exchange blows with it using the beret. You realize that your armor is kind of stuffy.

>>5321548
Steal his train and follow the railroad.

>>5321565
Your odd names confuse the dinosaur. You hit him on top of head with beret and steal top hat. It falls into the dark abyss of space.

...You wonder why you took the top hat.

>>5321566
You grab his train and try to find the railroad. There is none. However, this place is crazy enough; the train works in space! Where would you like to go?

>>5321637
Heaven, so that we can fight Jesus with our beret.

>>5321644
fuck that, go to Valhalla. fight for the rest of time

>>5321659
>>5321644
Who says we have to choose? Go to both of them at the same time.

>>5321644
You find heaven and then charge at Jesus with TRAIN. However, he is too strong and he picks the train up. If he lets go, though, the train will crush him.

>>5321675
Forgot the picture

>>5321675
Throw the beret at him.

>>5321689

Get out of the train and start tickling his sides.

>>5321689

Jump out. Use beret as parachute.

>>5321695
>>5321696

You toss the beret at him, knocking him over and crushing him. Sadly, the beret was not Space Train proof, and it was crushed as well. In a fit of rage, you climb out and tickle the dead prophet.

>>5321716
How can it not be space train proof?

Whatever, let's go to Valhalla now.

>>5321696
>>5321695
tickle him with the beret

>>5321716

I realize it's been a long time since I took the sacrament and consume the dead prophet.

>>5321716

I gather the remains of the dead Savior, beret, and parts cannabalized from the train to make a heavy-metal guitar.

AND I ROCK THE FUCK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>5321716
Take his facial hair, use his sinews to lash beard to cactus armor.

Then go find Bast and hit on her.

>>5321723
You head to Valhalla. Thor greats you at the gates. However, there is a strict 'No cacti' rule there, and he kicks your sorry ass out of there.

>>5321748
Fuck. Use Jesus' beard to strangle Thor.

>>5321748
take off armor.

fight for all eternity

>>5321760
Actually, let's change this a little.
Take off cactus armor, but make us Space Train armor.

>>5321778
fuck yes

>>5321748
Plant mushrooms on Cactus Armor.

Once we're a Fun Guy, there's no way they can keep us out of Norse Party Central!

>>5321756
You pull a DEAD JESUS out of your pocket. THOR hits you with HAMMER. You fly into space. You put DEAD JESUS back into your pocket.

>>5321778
You lost the Space Train due to being hammered into space.

>>5321794
Fuck.

Wait, how are we still alive in space then?

For a quest born of failure, it sure turned into a prince.

>>5321784
You place pocket mushroom on the top of your cactus armor. It sticks.

>>5321802
Cacti are known for their space-faring abilities.

>>5321831
Paddle our way through space back to the SPACE TRAIN.

>>5321846
You attempt to doggy paddle back through space. Sadly, the laws of physics still kinda-sorta apply.

The pocket mushroom grows a bit.

>>5321866
Use DEAD JESUS to teleport back to SPACE TRAIN.

>>5321875
You apply DEAD JESUS's BEARD to face of armor. The mushroom grows more, but not much else happens.

>>5321901

>>5321901
Smoke the shroom. Maybe we'll come up with some good ideas.

>>5321910
You smoke the shroom. The smoke is very thick, and you become quite high.

A bar appears above your head with the letters 'HP'. Its is about 3/4 full.

>>5321928
Use it to get use some movement towards SPACE TRAIN.

>>5321936
You twist around in your armor and grab the HP bar. It is closer to half-full now. You use it to paddle towards the Space Train, but it is very slow.

>>5321956
Keep going.

>>5321928
equip healthbar as sword

>>5321962
You squeeze the bottom of the health bar and use it as a makeshift sword. The letters HP disappear.

Like you, much of the stats on the HP sword are very high.

The shroom smoke is out, but you are still feeling good about life.

>>5321982
Let's go and attack some dinosaur train conductors. We've got to find another SPACE TRAIN!

>>5321994
You work hard and try to move around in space. The HP sword goes all white, though, and you die. There is a counter above your head. Expect a respawn sometime.

---

That's all for today, expect a random sequel tomorrow. Before you ask, it will be just as bad.

>>5322018

>>5322018
>Before you ask, it will be just as fuckwin awesome.
fix'd