The paladin falls.

"EMPEROR FUCKING SHIT I HATE THESE DAMN PSYKERS!"

>>5363692
People will take chances, make mistakes, and GET MESSY!

Is that eldar trying to hit on that marine in korean? Oh, love drama....

Talk about how awesome Cow Marines and their bovine animal companions are.

[ Thread is now about 40k bus stop RP. ]

" When will the Vehicle and its Machine Spirit arrive?"

counts as epic level psyker navigator or something

Waiting for Emprah

the play.

>>5363749

Hm...scans would indicate she is a rare Astropath of great enough skill not to have lost her eyes, or much of anything really.

>>5363773

*Technicolor school bus comes lurching to a halt*
*door opens, spilling out thick, dark smoke*
A voice inside says-

>>5363811

"I LIKE CHOCOLATE MILK"

*Opens brown bag*
"Aww man, these aren't the lunchables I like."

>>5363806
Except her sanity, however no records exist of her sanity in the first place.

>>5363818

Tau female hands him a glass.

"It's fresh."

Uneasy guardsmen dwarfed as he sits next too a hulking chaos space marine.

Guardsmen (nervously): how bout these eye of terror buses huh? ... they never seem to be on time.

Chaos marine (staring straight ahead): ...

Guardsmen, fidgets around nervously. CM continues staring forward from behind the lenses on his helmet.

guardsmen: So, uh ... wh - what do you do, ... for a living?

CM leaps up.

CM: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!! RRRAAARRGHHHHH!!!

Cuts bus stop booth in half. Stands there heaving chainsword in hand. The guardsmen sits in his own waste on the floor looking up at the CM in utter terror, he's lost years off his life.

CM: what about you?

"If I find the Psyker who did this, I'm going to shove my chainsword so far up his ass he's going to be spitting chain links for a century."

>>5363868

OH GOD THIS ISN'T MILK

THIS ISN'T MILK AT ALL

>>5363806

Retains zero sanity, upon navigation believes she takes the passengers, who appear to her as children, upon magical learning adventures... Other than that she's completely normal >.>

>>5363964
Could be worse. Could have been a Vespid.

>>5363964
I'm going to eat you.

>>5363944
One of the more funny posts out there.

That Eldar bitch wouldn't take the bus because her parents are rich.

>>5364070
too bad they can't reach her now that the webway is unexistant.

They are entertained by impromptu puppet shows

It sounds like this.

"You know I'm not entirely enthralled by these puppets."

"FUCK COCK STOMPING FAGWADS!!! PUPPETS ARE CUNTING AWESOME!!! BITCH DAMNIT!!!"

>>5364088
So now she has to take the bus with all the normal inferior people.

That Eldar is kinda cute. Source on OP's image?

(A Tau Fire Warrior and a Slaaneshi Cultist are sitting at the bus stop.)

Tau: Want to become part of the greater good with us?
Cultist: I will rape your face.
Tau: That doesn't sound pleasant.
Cultist: It won't be.

(Awkward silence. Doomrider goes by.)

This really better not end up as a fetish but it's threatening to

>>5364139

screams COCAINE!!

>>5364139
>Doomrider goes by
.....vvvvvvvvvv vvrroooooo vvvv putt putt PUTT PUTTT VRROOOMMM MMMMmmmmmmm putt vvvooo vvv.....

*cough*

A Dreanought and a Guardsman stand waiting for the bus...

G: So, um...do you just grab a seat, or...

D: Negative. I may only use those buses which the Emperor, in his beneficence, has provided with handicapped access.

The Guardsman then notices that what he took to be an Ultramarines logo on the shoulder is in fact a sick figure in a wheelchair.

>>5364139 Doomrider goes by.
Every 40K novel should at some point contain that line for no reason at all.

"Oy Boss, why iz da Bus alwa's so late?"

"Cause da stinkin' weirdboy drivin' da fing won' paint it red as iz proper."

>>5364241
Someone needs to shoop this onto an ultramarines dread. Drawfags get on this.

>>5364276
But it's yellow so it's flash... right? Where the damn colour chart?

two guardsmen stand at the bus stop.

GM 1: Man there was this ork on the bus yesterday and he was all drunk and he just started pissing on the floor of the bus...

GM 2: Haha

GM 1: it's like what the fuck ya stupid bastard! No wonder the fucking bus stinks! Right?

GM 2 doesn't respond GM1 continues.

GM 1 (shaking his head): man i fucking hate orks!

GM 1 notices GM 2's expression and grimaces as the realization hits him.

GM1: there's one behind me isn't there?

Ork: whatchu say humie!?

>>5364241

i lol'd

here's your bus pass miss.

HWEE CAP-TOORED EET FOR KAY-OSSS!!

The other day I saw Kharn help an old Grancron who had too many groceries for her old metal bones to manage get off the bus and carry them to her appartment tomb.

What a swell guy.

2 necrons sit at the bus stop.

N1: ...

N2: ...

I can see a stupid hive-fag hit on a necron

Hivefag: SO WHERE YA FROM?

N: ....

Hivefag: OH WOW HARD TO GET?

N: ...

Hivefag: I MET A SPACE MARINE ONCE, LOOKED KINDA LIKE YOU, EXCEPT FATTER. MAN THOSE GUYS ARE CHUNKY LOL!

Necron proceeds to choke and consume the lifeforce from the Hive-scum.

the scary marines never use the buses,yet they are always on time though...

>>5364708
Fuck yeah, scary marines. It has been a while since Ive heard from those guys. My favorite tg chapter.

Kharn, let me tell you about that Kharn. Makes out like he's all tough and such, and he is, he is, I'll tell you. But the other day when he randomly destroyed a bunch of road raging drivers, I saw that fellow helping a group of Tau fire warrior boy scouts across the crosswalk.

That Kharn, what a swell guy.

Commissar walks up to bus stop, Cultist pats bench.

Cultist: Hyuu kan seet hwere.

Commissar:No!...It stinks of heresy!

A guardsman sits down at the bench. He hears a squish, and looks down. The remains of a sandwich are stuck to his bottom.

G: Oh man, shit, I'm so sorry-

A yellow power armor helmet swings slowly to look at him.

"MY MOTHER MADE THAT." The angry marine says.

Eldar sits on bus, glances to his side, notices Dark Eldar awkwardly staring back.

Eldar: "Soooo...hows that whole RAPE FOR THE RAPE GOD gig working out?"

DE: "Meh, it seemed like fun at first, but it really gets tiring you know."

E: "Tell me about it, I got kicked out of the Warp Spider aspect school on my craftworld, now I'm stuck as a latrine aspect janitor"

We're forgetting an important question.

Who would drive the buses?

>>5364786
Lolcron

>>5364786

Orks

>>5364786
Guardswomen.

rolled 56 = 56

>>5364786

Chink.

Hello good sir, If i could have a moment of your time, it'll only be a minute. Could i interest you in a pamphlet describing the fundamentals of the greater good, You don't necessarily have to give up your current beliefs and all types from all walks of life are accepted, no questions asked. For the greater good and have a GREAT day, and GOOD day.

WHEREZ DA BUS, WHY 'M WALKIN'

>>5364786

Creed.

Commissar Yarrick and Warboss Ghazgul sitting at a bus stop.

Commissar Yarrick: Stupid greenskin scum, I do not see why I must use the same busing system as you.

Ghazgul: Oi, shut it hummie! Ya' fink I enjoyz dis eitha'?! I used ta' ride on da' backs of squiggothz wit' all da' boys shoutin' "WAAAGGHHHH!" all da' day! Nows I stuck 'ere wit a whiny pink-skin runt wit' a bad eye.

Commissar Yarrick: A "whinny pink skin runt" who kicked your ass.

Ghazgul: Wha' was dat' humie? *goes face to face with Yarrick*

Commissar Yarrick: You heard me you runty, smelly, green skin. *stares right back*

*a few moments of silence past with the two eternal foes staring each other down.*

Commisar Yarrick: Kiss me you fool! They're will be no better time.

Ghazgul: I waz wunderin' when ya'd say dat!

*suddenly Doomrider runs by, followed by Aquaman*

Doomrider: cccccccooooOOOOOOAAAIIINNNNNeeeeeeeeee!

Aquaman: wwwwwhhhhAAAAALLLLLLLeeeeesssss!

*Culexus Assassin takes a seat at the bus stop*
*Necron Pariah arrives later, takes a seat next to him*

Culexus: "Fuck..."

"tactical genius! HAHAHAHA!"

>>5364883

Culexus Assassin: "Not this guy again...he's going to talk and stare and stare and talk some more and try to give me pamphlets..." *Tries to hide self behind newspaper.*

>>5364886

Creed should drive. He could probably outflank and outdrive the red lights and police.

*Flayed One gets on bus*
*Creed squints and points at the sign 'Necrons are to sit at the back of all public transportation vehicles'*

*Flayed One sighs and shuffles to the back while everyone on the bus squints at him*

>>5364839
"Wow, a Chimera for a bus! And it managed to get here on time even with all this heavy traffic!"

guardsman grabs smoke pats pockets looking for a lighter.

GM: shit! anybody gotta light.

looks up and see he his now sitting with several sisters of battle who are scowling at him.

GM: guess that was a stupid question, sister always have a light. could you light me up sister.

SOB: No.

GM: what? why not? the 3 of you have like 20 flamers.

SOB: read the pack! smoking may cause heresy.

there is a few seconds of silence before the guardsman mutters out around his unlite smoke.

GM:bitch!

the sisters commense burning the guardsman, telling the arbites that he was a heretic.

>>5364935
You mean like a Negron?

>>5364930

"But there was so much traffic...for you to get here so quickly would take some kind of tactical ge--
CREEEEEEEED!"

>>5364954
marines trying to keep an undead brother down

"We don't let Chaos Lords on anymore."
"Why?"
"Metal boxes. 'Nuff said."

>>5364930
That said, Creed would make an EXCELLENT taxi driver.

"I need to get to the Basilica of the Emperor Ascendant, and FAST--wait, aren't you...?"

"Yep. It isn't commanding Cadian forces, but it pays the bills. Need to get there really fast, you say? I know a shortcut."

"Take it! Please!"

"Okay, son...buckle your safety belt. Heh heh heh..."

HEY HEY HEY IT'S TIME TO MAKE SOME CRAAAZY MONEY! ARE YA READY?! HERE WE GO!

>>5364978
THE COWARDS!
THE FOOLS!

>>5365002

YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH~

Ork: Iz a tagze driva onze. but dey fir'd me cuz i paintz da durn ting red.

CM: DID YOU PAINT WITH BLOOD!!!

Ork: nope. paint.

CM:...oh.

SON OF A BITCH!
Who steals a bench?! I mean... SON OF A BITCH! I hate Chem-Dogs!

an old pervert of a Farseer, using his power of foresight, strategically sits around the bus, knowing when it will become crowded and a woman's bosom will be pressed against his head.

I refuse to ride in a....in A METAL BOX!

Am I the only one that thinks the creed meme would make an awesome Cadian sitcom like Hogans Heroes?

" Colonel I swear I JUST parked the Chimera here!"
" For a Chimera to dissapear like this you'd need some kind of Tactical ge-... CREEEEEEEEEEEED!"

Creed stands there with a silly smile and Shrugs. Cue theme and credits.

>>5365237

Sure he'd smoke cigars and wear haiwian shirts and go bowling with papa nurgle and be played by john goodman.

>>5365237
"That's Our Creed"

*Creed bus and Doomrider both pull up at a red light*

*Creed and Doomrider both turn and slowly look at each other, rev engines*

>>5365322
the rev of Doomrider's bike is replaced with COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKEAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE

*A Guardsman and a Space marine sitting next to each other*

GM: bus is late again I see...

SM: Yeah.

GM: heheh...so.....what is your favorite weapon?

SM: ..........

GM: ?

SM: MULTILASOOOOOOOOOOORRRRZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

*SM fires a multilaser up in the air*

GM: *mumbles* for fuck sake..........oh looke the bus arrived!

*bus has several multilasers all over it including on the wheels*

GM: oh for the love of.......

*several passengers exit all wielding Multilasers*

passengers: WOOH! YEAH *starts firing their multilasers* YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

GM: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUU-

C.S. Goto - Magic Warp Bus

A Venerable dreadnaught and a Chaos Space marines are riding together.

Dreadnaught turns to the CSM: I think we've meet a long time back.

How lucky! A seat! You sit down.
you feel something probing against your bum

It's not a seat, it was a Dark Eldar mandrake in disguise

>>5365389
Oh, those wacky mandrake and their surprise gay sexings.

>>5365389
How could a Dark Eldar have gotten into a freaking seat! It would take some sort of Tactical Gen-
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

>>5365237
You sir are a mad genius.

>>5365577
Thats Our Creed will be Right back!

*Cadian Guardsman searches for a lighter, realizes he doesn't have one, speaks up and asks if anyone has a light.*

Death Korps of Krieg Guardsman with Gas-Mask: Those things are bad for your lungs y'know.

This would be a moderately good series.

Probably fit for YouTube.

>>5365692
Fuck, we need to get someone on this.

Each episode would be a robot-chicken-esque smattering of clips from buss stops and within the bus itself.

Eldar: so-
S marine: la la la can't hear your heresy la la la
Eldar: . . .
SM: . . .
Eldar: tha-
SM: LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA !!!!!!!

this thread is made of win

I can only imagine how pissed off Warp Spiders would get.....

>>5367176
Harlequins to.

>>5367293
At least Harlequins move around physically most of the time, Warp Spiders are like hyperactive 13 year olds on crack who rely on their warp jumping capabilities to move as fast as they want.

Shit needs to be archived.

Thanks /tg/. This really made my morning. :D

>>5363944
This one's my favorite.

Am I the only one picturing the bus as a stretched Chimera with windows?

Reasonable marine: "now, if you could all please move to the back of the bus, there'll be room for all of us"

Grumbling IG squad member: "fucking boyscout, think they are all hot shit"

Reasonable marine sighing and pulling out his bolter: "now, if you could all please move to the back of the bus, I'll no longer see my self needed to execute every last one of you for not following the Emperor, praise be his name, sacred laws, which includes, moving to the back of the bus so that all off us can get to the battlefield in one go"

(The Chimera-bus finally comes to a screeching stop in front of the bus stop. A guardsman squad led by a commissar gets up and lines up in queue to get in.
A small group of five Ork Nobz who were also waiting for the bus rush up in front of the queue.)

Nob 1- Oi 'umies, stop muckin about, an get in da trukk!

Guardsman 1 (annoyed but intimidated by the brute)- You filthy xenos better wait in line like the rest of us...

Nob (approaches guardsman, towering above him)- You git be'er watch dat umie mouth o'yours, else you get stomped pro'er good... (shoves guardsman)

(The guardsman stutters something, then chickens out and steps aside to let the Nobs get in. Promptly an ominous ka-chunk sound is heard from the direction of the commissar. The guardsman who let the orks pass in first gets his head blown off two seconds later)

Commissar- ALWAYS HOLD THE LINE DAMMIT!!

bumping awesomeness

IG conscript: Hey, uh, mate. Since you know have that whole collective knowledge going and shit, can you give me a hand with this essay on, uh, Tau hereticism?

Genestealer: Fuck off. You've asked us a hundred times.

IG: So....uh.... what chapter are you from?

SW: The Wolf Wolves.

IG: Huh?

SW: The Wolf Wolves, The Wolf Wolves!

IG: I don't think I've heard of them...

SW: You've never wolfed of The Wolf Wolves?! Unwolfable!

IG: Uh....

SW2: Wolf! Is the wolf wolf again?

SW: Wolf. Wolf, wolf what? This wolf has never wolfed of The Wolf Wolves!

SW2: Unwolfable!

>>5364844
Win.

Someone archive this shit.

Unwolfable!

Something just popped in my mind.

How would it be if the disco marines would take the bus?

Instant pimping, baby.