OH SHIT SON, ITS ON

You come in here rapping and jivin, acting the fool,
Making yourself look like a tool,
Tool! Fuck it, you're the whole hardware store
And your weak ass rhymes make us all snore.

Motherfucker can't add, bitch can't divide,
but he comes in here like he's got some pride,
Work out your THAC0 motherfucker, then be so snide.

That fat fuck of a manager, who cut your hours,
And every big mac he sees he devours?
Guess where he is every Saturday night,
Rolling out with the dice, so my ass you can bite.

Profession (epic rhymer), Craft (The illest raps)
50 ranks in both, can you stand to this attack?
Def Blue is back on stage, quit holdin' all yalls breaths
This Dragon's epic tier so it's time you all confessed that you're feelin' me
I'm too real to see
Yall gonna send yo weak PCs, are you kiddin' me?
I'm the king of rap battles, the lawful-minded tyrant
Best hike it back to your town and fetch the gold for my rent.

Give respect to the master. Bow down to the Dragon, son.

>>5437481

I came here for a challenge, not to hear your life story
come back when you can spit with more than kid rhymes in yo' inventory,
I guess it's fitting that your rhyme's eponymous
when you try to talk big, but call yourself anonymous,
with a legion of faggots and retards you are synonymous,
and the will you exercisin' ain't exactly autonomous.
You must be the first hippopotamus in the anon legion,
talking about big macs like you're a collegian,
a Ph. D in fast food's gotta make you the fattest fuck in the region.

BAMP

>>5437816

SHIT JUST GOT REAL.

You're more of a pussy then Dido the Carthaginian,
Bawling your rhymes like a shit-flinging simian,
You use big words like they're nothing but turds,
No art, no style, no point that's worthwhile.

Language is an art, a masterful trade,
a carefully crafted and brilliant brocade,
More then just a tasteless fusillade,
Full of rough rhymes and boastful displays.

Alliteration, motherfucker, dig it you must
Otherwise your pathetic rhymes will bust-
Upon the bulwurk of knowlege and colliegate might,
That this mean anon could wield all night

But here is a namefag, proud and ready,
Who shirks not the yoke of identity,
Though it chains him to verse so torturous and lame,
All around must question his brain.

As Jesus said once to a follower dear-
"Don't bring me any trouble bitch!" that he made clear.
Likewise, quit this place, and make no reply,
till you can muster prose more skillful and sly.

>>5437537

Def Blood-Blue, thanks much for sharing,
But I'm more dragon than you, cuz of the threads I'm wearing,
Some blue hide boots would be a nice pairing,
with my red-dragon belt, even royalty would be staring.

It's the dragon on the outside, not the beast within,
and I tell ya my wardrobe's stocked with dragonskin.
I never settle for the bargain bin, so I'm glad you walked in,
I'll take you down solo, I don't need a party to win.

I'll give you props for trying, but you're fated to lose,
but don't sweat it, we'll kick plenty of ass together when I make you into my new shoes.

This looks like a good thread but I don't hav eanything to add to it besides a post.

It's looking mighty Medieval in here... Time for something nobody expects!
My name's Eisenhorn, that's German for Iron Cock,
Ye'd best respect the name or I'll cleaning our your Xeno clock,
Ordo Xenos, but don't think y'all heretics are safer,
Or I'll be beating your asses harder than that Colonel Shaffer,
I've got the ultimate bling, we call it an Inquisitorial Rosarius,
It grants me my Emperor given right to kill all punks nefarious,
I'm eight hundred and ten, but I'm still pimpin' strong,
Y'all weak as shit new kids had best get off my lawn,
But don't be getting the inclination that my word is wrong,
or I'll crack your back like I crackerjacked all up past your momma's thong,
So now that I've made my case, y'all had best respect, see?
Because you know I'm an inquisitor, and you never expect me!

Represent, Ordo Motherfucking Xenos! Hail the Emperor!

>>5437976
The obvious winner.

Shiiit. No mas?

>>5438014

Silly mortal, I'm mountains, you're mole hills.
Don't even come up in my lair thinkin' your shit is for real.
You say you got dragon loot? Please, you know it's kobold shit.
Your skill's so wack, my minions are all you'll hope to hit.
I'll make you hit brix. Runnin' so fast that you'll be droppin' off your blue kicks.
And what's this? Rat skins?
You're getting punked by critters so low you'll never be worthy of some dragon bits.
But go ahead and hide behind your items kid. Sword n' Board, wackest rapper, huddlin' behind timber bitch.
I got natural AC to your weak flows, casting rotes to scry the future and see yo ass dead broke.
Cryin' on your knees, destitute, washed-out.
Even commoners look down on you, turnin' up their snout.
So pack it back to Sigil bitch, and find the quickest portal out,
Stay here and I'll eat ya live, no challenge, no doubt.

>>5437976

You must a' picked up a minor in bullshit with your major in food,
You about to find out just how this motherfucker is RUDE,
I've got endless rhymes and I ain't in no mood,
to deal with nameless posers with tough-guy attitude.
You dropping names trying to impress, but I ain't trippin,
Mimir's mead ain't got nothing on the drink I be sipping,
Thor's hammer can't compare to weapon I'm gripping,
Even Zeus is impressed with the gear I'm equipping,
Wanna talk about Dido's pussy? I'll speak from experience when I say's its DRIPPING.

Your ass is whack-daft for bringing up mythology,
Your flow is retarded when you rhyme A-A-B-B,
Nigga, you can't win a rap battle with poetry!
My victory is all but guaranteed,
so fuck off quietly and make room for the next MC.

>>5438280
>You say you got dragon loot? Please, you know it's kobold shit.

HOT DAMN IT'S ON NOW

Oh it's on now!

I DM with time travel
I DM with lolis
Bitch I slam down my gavel when you trip on your follies.

You think it's your right to have your own way?
Keep moanin' like your momma when I pull out my TPK.
Resurrect a thousand times, I don't give a fuck
Nothin you do matters when I control luck
Your jaw is dropped, take my Rod of Wonder to suck
while your paladin fails his Will save, falls in the moral muck


Just stutter and whine, I ain't gonna stall
See your mind unwind as your paladin falls.

This is the best thread I have seen all day. Keep it up, this is great. I'd contribute but I can't rap for shit, lol.

>>5438332

/d/m, playing with lolis cuz he ain't got no real player, no rhyme sayers, you best squeek out yo last prayers.
We don't need you man, just turn the party over me, the sickest MC who's got his traps set to the last T.
TPK? More like total party cake-walk. Your PCs are rakin' in XP cuz your diabolic strategy is too soft.
illithids with lip-stick, tea party with the Tarrasque, all your DCs are too eaily passed.
What do you got? Wishes.
What do you front? Shit.
Good luck treadin' fail, you 'bout to drown in yo own muck pit.

Round two, and it is ever so awesome.

>>5438280

Please...

You trying to spit fire, instead you blowin' smoke,
Thinking you can beat me, this some kind of joke?
Just try and swallow me, because even Tiamat choked:
my massive cock was too much for her, and that bitch has five throats.
But if you're set on having me inside you, hey whatever floats your boat,
I'll cut you a hole big enough for me to sew my oats.

A dragon ain't nothin special, and I'll deep impact your ass like a comet,
My chromatic-hatin repertoire, gets me fan mail from Bahamut.
So keep on fronting like you got skills, cuz you be spewin nothing but vomit.

Epic thread is epic

Someone screencap this!

finally, now we can post again

A thousand years here, we thought we all knew
Everything there was, nuthin' ever new
Hold up a sec, son, here comes two
Rappers gonna pull us from our stew.
One buff as fuck, the other blue
Mark my words: for they be true
Thread archived b'fore night is through

>A dragon ain't nothin special, and I'll deep impact your ass like a comet,
My chromatic-hatin repertoire, gets me fan mail from Bahamut.

This is awesome, and this thread is awesome.

/thread it, screencap it, fucking engrave it I don't care but save it.

>>5438576
epic

I think all the others left after the board froze. I'm gonna get some sleep, hopefully this shit will still be here when I wake up. If not, it's archived.

Ball's in your court Def Blue-Blood, now I'm just waiting on you. This ain't over.

Jesus, I see this thread at 3:30 AM... DO NOT TEMPT ME /tg/ I'll see you in the morning

>>5438812

You bet your ass we'll see you in the morning.

sage for niggermusic

/tg/ does /b/ better than /b/ does.

SON, I AM NOT DISAPPOINT!!!

ITT white nerds pretend they can rap.

>>5438866
>>5438855

Bump to counteract hivemind/samefaggotry

>>5438866
>>5438855

samefag thats butthurt that his GF was taken by a big-dicked rapping nigger.

>>5438855
>>5438866
Hivemind with good fucking taste.

>>5438840

Sword and Board? Hah! Tvmbledown with the double blades
Tripfaggin' with a naggin' sense of Better Than
And if I disrespect your FITAN STILE we know the drill
Broken GAEM say my NAEM 'cause I never will
Drop back 'gainst your meter-less insightless prose
Yeah I'm here to describe just how your power fades
Armor Class? Ten attacks from a single man
Bring the play 'round the table to a screeching close.

Now Perform's not my main or my major skill
If you follow close, you'll see another spec I call
All the Knowledge; classic skills, taken separately
Each level gaining ranks at a FIVE TIMES THREE
D&D is the game, edition matters not
Every one, from the first, with a force of will
In my skull, to the top, bitch I know it all
And this battle I exeunt upon the dot.

The only good this thread did was inspire me to look for a pic of a nigger with neckbeard.

egas

EVERY FIELD

>>5438997

oh hi. pic related.

>>5438983

I'm having a hard time understanding what it is you're screechin',
my rhymes are a stretch sometimes, but yours are ten-foot REACHIN',

I never known anyone who could tumble,
who wasn't useless in a rumble,
and as soon as you fumble,
I'd be quick to make ya humble,
as you stumble into my blade, and even if I was uprooted,
you'd never catch me flat footed,
just try a sneak attack, and your corpse will get looted.

DND's the game, but you being played the fool,
I may be just a character, but here, I make the rules.

>>5439145

If rhyme's the right rule, un-alliterative fool
I have a heavy handed holo from my home-hive's school
Preachin' the protection of the Martyr on the Throne
Thrown freely to the thirty thousand hivers in this single dome
A true fa/tg/uy fappin' on the furry fan-fic
Thri-kreen's chitin made my dick a STEAM SPITTAN
All the -chans all the -tans; feels good man
White Knight over each petition in the land.

Linguist-vomit violently vends a very crude
String of memes and memories and peerless attitude
But the weeaboo wailin' WHERE THE ELF AT
Drained me dry, made me WRRYYY, while here I sat
Over hours - thirty four, just to be exact
So to sleep Tvmble slumps...

Having rolled low enough on his Perform: Rap Battle and Profession: Writer to make one wonder where he got the penalties.

>>5439234
meme spouting jackass

>>5439234

this is retarded, I wouldn't even respond to something like this.

>>5440176
the pathetic thing is that you just did

>>5438513

Fire? Please, I breath lightning. Straight up blue arcs of hate to desimate your elementary raps cause they're out of date.
Listen up world, Tiamet choked laughing
Scoffin' at Sword n' Board cause his cock is all cowardice.
He ain't nothin' but a chicken. Behind the scenes lickin' my nuts to be spared from the epic beat.
I got claws and fangs to rend ya. My RaB, Rap attack Bonus, so fat you'll be bowing at my feet.
Can't stand the heat? Stay out the rhyme foundry, I'm moldin' verses so epic and elite they know no boundaries.

archive this shit

>>5440577

Was that it, your comeback fantastic?
It ain't worth the wait, your shit's anticlimactic.
Blue boy's trying to blast off bombastic,
But you ain't doing nothin' but sounding spastic.

Rhyme foundry? You best crank up your construction,
Five rhymes in seven lines ain't exactly mass production,
y'all be trying to rap, but all I'm hearing from you is suction,
must be hard to function, trying so hard to be frightening,
trying to tell me that you can breathe lightning?
Bitch, I piss lightning, sweat thunder, and breathe excellence,
I got one setting, always cranked to full-on intense.
My offense is immense, so no matter your defense,
I'll plow right through your DR and AC
the word cowardice don't describe me,
it ain't even in my vocabulary,
keep diggin' your own grave fool, I got your plot reserved in the cemetery.

>>5442408

Why has this happened to our village?!

Can no one stop this terrible warlord?

who knew some fa/tg/uys could flow
I sure as fuck didn't know.... wait.... IT'S CATCHING LIKE A DISEASE!!!!!!

(for some reason not all of my post posted)
who knew some fa/tg/uys could flow
I sure as fuck didn't know.... wait.... IT'S CATCHING LIKE A DISEASE!!!!!!
but please, i didn't come here to sneeze,
it's time here to shake a hand,
say good job to my fellow man,
you all have mad skill that i could not hope to duplicate,
but I sure as fuck am here to appreciate,
my skillz aint sick,
my rhymes is weak,
but if you give me a tick,
and a little time to speak,

i'll tell you all i used to hate rap,
but know I know, it's not rap that's bad
it's guys with no flow

keep rockin' that mic fa/tg/uys

>>5442517

You're not so bad yourself. You should check out the first two rap threads.
1 -- http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5315595/
2 -- http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5331362/

>>5442553
I've already got those epic battles saved to my hard drive fo sho.

>>5440577

Thunder and lightning? It's just goblin spit
Like the verses you spew, mouth takin' a shit.
Kurtul to the mak is here running the show
This god ain't got time for your rhymes so damn slow.
Your scales give you what? Maybe DR/15?
I'm 50 divine, if you feel what I mean,
But you can't comprehend, cause you're stuck in between
Planar heaven and hell, the Prime Material scene
While I'm tapping outsiders, astral bitches and hos
Those burning hot succubi just know how to BLOW
And your horde? Don't even get me started,
Like an iron golem sat his ass down and farted
And you roll in the shavings of rust that he left
While I'm shining the platinum of which you're bereft.

WUT?

>>5442517

>keep rockin' that mic fa/tg/uys
>that mic fa/tg/uys
>mic fa/tg/uys

did anyone else read that as Mcfatguys, of MC fatguys?

cause I saw(punctuation critical)
keep rockin' that, McFa/tg/uys

>>5438513

i ain't been jokin', i'm here for the slowpokin'
you think ya got a huge schlong, with choke-ability,
try on ma ass of re-hability,
fit it all in, and no space left for a giant bukkake orgy,
you would win ma respect, and a huge piece of norway inclusive, full of black dragoons
my name, it be EFG,
ya think i never even seen the slowpoke, ya best be right, i nod of while lootin'
tryin' the re booting.

A CHALLENGER APPEARS!

>>5442408

The suckin' sound is you son, I've seen you turning tricks
Makin' Blue his money while you're slobbering on some orcish dicks
Tryin' to get your fix, it's so sad to see
Washed-up dungeon delver with bunk gear and broken dreams
You should crank that knob 'til it breaks off cuz your style is intensely average
Tryin' to pass what you breath as excellence but it's really just a pathogen
But I'm immune to your disease, yall are like a lonely pack of fleas just tryin to bite my steez
So step back please and find another quest
If you stick here with the dragon it'll only mean your death and I'll have no regrets
You're just another tally in the alley of the rappers I've vanquished, listen here fool it's a long list
Deep in my lair's belly where my hoard sits and I persist but you got no chance to make it cuz my traps are too legit.

>>5438067

This is Ahriman here, one of a Thousand sons
This Inquisitorial chump don't know what he's begun
I'm a psyker, sorcerer, chaos for all time
don't think I'm not disgusted by the order in your rhyme
I see everything, all things that transpire
Me and Magnus are laughin as we watch you perspire
Secrecy, Jealousy, Mistrust and Zealotry
The Imperium's flawed so don't even step to me
Led by a dried up, husk of a man
Sending you to death with his 'Holy plan'
The Emperor is washed up, dried up,
cracked up in the head
Even Guilliman thinks he's better off dead
You think there's honor in a sacrificial psyker chorus? I got someone you should meet, Warmaster Horus
Astronomicon flickers, and you die as you embark
who knew the Imperium was afraid of the dark?

Tzeentch is power,
Ahriman out. Peace...

>>5443076

The only tricks I'm turning are skills with dice rolls,
each toss a powerful yearning to separate your body from yo' soul,
I'm nothing but discernin' and I've always been in control,
even dragons get to burning, it's time to pay the reaper's toll.

You frontin' like a blue blood but I see you turnin' green,
obviously jealous cuz' I own this rap scene.
Or is it penis envy cuz' my cock and a hard place you are between?
Something's taking it's toll, else you just getting old, your rhymes are straight routine,
comparatively I'm a well-oiled rhyming machine,
I only state facts, so you know I say what I mean,
For your final act, I'll be your judge, jury, and guillotine.

Now, what the fuck is a "steez," and why would I want to bite it?
Your ship is sinking, but you still trying to right it,
Your fire's extinguished, but you still defying to light it,
I've won the battle and the war, but you keep dying to fight it.

>>5442616
So sorry to keep ya waiting, but your verses are puttin' me to sleep
Passin' off your empty flows like you're sayin' something deep
Talkin' 'bout gettin' hoes, you trick rappers are all the same
You got no idea what it takes to be king in this game
Let me give you some advice: fuck bitches, make money
And sayin' that I got none is so wrong that it ain't funny
Quit foolin' yourself, little kobold tryin' to roam in my home
wouldn't even get past the rats that are guarding my front door
You make dragonkind look bad, sayin' you're divine
But you and me both know Tiamat wouldn't waste her time on such a weak breed
She save saves it all for me, givin' me all the power I need to lead nations
It's my vocation
So get down into your warren hole, kobold needs to remember where their place is.

>>5443271
You know, I don't even like /tg/ stuff or rap, but this is epic.

>>5443431

Yearn all ya like, my soul will never leave my body
At least not by your hand, you like the martial skill to stop me
I drop rhymes hard but I'll drop you harder
Got a repertoire of weapons that'll beat ya down to fodder
Say I'm green? Better than pink.
Soft-skined and short-lived, I'll still rule while you're deceased.
Then I'll have some peace. No more little boys flappin' they jaws while they think they're bringin' heat.
You can't touch my routine, it's epic deeds all day,
You're foolin' yourself if you think I only came to play,
or if you think I'm jealous of your prick, no how, no way
You think you're packin' tackle? My gear is bigger than your body
While I'm struttin' in my lands it brings all the little hotties.
And I'm not surprised you don't know steez, it's because you ain't got none.
Steez is style and yours is vile, I bet it's burnin' up your lungs
Spittin' such caustic raps, your verbal attacks are fallin' flat
You're no match for such a regal lawful evil diplomat
You ain't won no war, you didn't even make it out of training camp
So quit tryin' cuz I'm wear all the talent's at.

>>5443449
Your INT may be high, but you seem to forget
I'm Tiamat's son; my race is a set
spawned straight from her eggs, a dynamite threat.
I rebuilt her lair, a crib past compare,
my homies agree it's flippin' with flair.
I swear, don't stare, I charge a fare
To anyone hatin' with a crib so square
it's made in Mechanus; don't try to stand up,
everyone knows you posin', trying to plan up
some half-assed scheme; why don't you man up?

This Dragon's got places to be. I gotta get to work, reigning over my kingdom. You can all breath a sigh of relief while I'm gone, but when I come back from making that paper it's on.

I say s&b is winning. all of his raps have at least one OH DAMN moment. Def Blue Blood doesn't really have any.

AAAAND SCREENCAPPED MUTHAFUCKAS!. 22 .bmps, but I stood through. I'm gonna post this on /b/ to show we do /b/ better than /b/.

Bump for epic.

>>5443675

If I'm pink its only because I'm tickled that shade,
but I don't need to waste more time on self-accolades,
My cred's established, two threads worth displayed,
Go see for yourself why I'm the real-deal rap upgrade.
However I'm dismayed, on the uptake you ain't quick,
a massive brain trapped in a skull impossibly thick,
yet you don't realize who's packing superior lyrics,
so let me break it down in terms of logistics:

You don't pay no attention to rhyming convention,
you just spoutin' words randomly in interjections,
leavin' your flow with molasses surface tension,
it's also worth mention, that you be slantin' rhymes with massive extension,
reachin' for the stars, but with apprehension,
and your "steez" suffers with respect to comprehension.
Readin' your shit forces me into a disbelief suspension,
because it brings me down to your level of two-dimensions.
Show me you're at least a little bit sentient.,
come on dragon, this ain't no wheel reinvention.
The only thing you've proven is your anal retention.

>>5444229
You have got to be joking. Y u do dis?

>>5444229

Don't fucking do it. /tg/ is pretty much the best board on 4chan, and I'd like to see it remain faggot-free for as long as possible.

>>5444229
you do that and ill steal your soul, make it my goal to hurt you as much as possible, torment you through every possible vessel, every cell of your body so listen to me
dont fucking go back to /b/

forgot to say, im back! dont need no fanfare, this wont get properly going, need more freestylers in here.

>>5444473

Sup Deeplich. Put that whack dragon in his place if he gets back before I do.

>>5444393

Comin' live from the table where we don't roll dice,
And I'm tappin' two Islands for my cage of ice
So FREEZE motherfucker cuz I don't play nice
I'll Double Negative your rhymes and counter them twice!
With a Mountain in play, and a Plains on the way,
Lighting Angel on the board, you got nothin' to say,
Flying, haste, and vigiliance, attack and block all day,
And you can watch your life points just slide away.
Steppin' up in my grill like you think you a pimp
With your ego minmaxed and a head like a blimp,
All I hear over the carnage is you bawl like a wimp,
I got you suckin' punishment worse than a Chimney Imp.
So you think you can rap? I tap a Plains for Silence,
And we'll see what we can do about this pointless defiance
You called down the storm, now feel the lightnin'
At the end of your turn I'm bringin' out the violence:
Electrolyze for two, Lightning Bolt for three more,
The free card I draw's the last lock on the door,
Untap, upkeep, draw, Prophetic Bolt for four,
Swing in for the kill and knock your jaw to the floor.
So you thought you were cool? Well shuffle up that shit!
You ought to sacrifice yourself into a Breeding Pit,
You're as loud as a banshee if her throat was slit
Now wipe the drool off of your face and floppy fa/tg/uy tits.

>>5437976
This is beautiful.

Shit just got REAL.

>>5444760
you got it man, we may of been on opposite sides of the fence, but in our defense, at neither of us quite failed like scales here.
man you were on fire in this thread, burning deep red, hotter that the shit i read that the dragon breathed out his head.
nobody else feeling like they wanna go?
no?

Sword n' Board?

this is quickly turning into a two man show,
doesn't bother me; we've got an air-tight flow,
so let me continue to weave this tapestry of our future
have you in stitches like a full frontal suture

our shit is elementary, it makes no sense
best sit back n' watch while I quickly dissect
line by line your near-rhyming pile of trash
omitting your errors like a swiftly swung dash.
grammarian approach to the way I write my rhymes
I'm not from the streets but I still commit crimes
like- offending your diction and exposing it as fiction,
slandering your vocabulary well within my jurisdiction.
no wonder you got no invite to this lyrical soiree
your rhymes rockier than the Flaminian Way
google that shit if your knowledge is meager
I'm already excelling as a Major Leaguer
batting one-thousand while you still swing at a tee
my cerebral lexicon deeper than the Adriatic Sea.
you've got nothing on Helen Keller: that bitch could read-
you're still stumbling over your A-B-C's.

Sup, /tg/, the Madman's here
Kharn's the name, and it's me you fear
See, it matters not from whence the blood flows
So, you best be killin some bitches n' hoes.
On the planet of Skalathrax I got mad reputation
For gettin in mind a set destination.
Cuz all I needed was a world of my own,
A place for my Legion to make itself home
But Emprah's Children be up in this shit,
So, mad rhymes and bullets I spit
I got a reputation as a team killing fucktard
But all that matters is BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!


Peace.

>>5445256

>our shit is elementary, it makes no sense

>>5445305
A missing 'y', obviously

>>5445311

and it's a hilarious omission, no doubt.

>>5445305
Where's that from? Cowboy Bebop?

>>5445328
If you mean the image I think I'll reach through my monitor & strangle you through the intertubes.

>>5445367
I, too, am curious
It looks extremely familiar but I can't place it.

yes, it's cowboy bebop at his computer.

>>5445373
No seriously

>>5445415

lupin III

>>5445328
>>5445373
A shitty anime series

While I be evokin' bitches be strokin' my wand, it's got 27 charges per day. It's bond, my word that is, soaking bitches with my Prismatic Spray, 60 foot cone-shaped burst on my lay, but I don't do it for pay. It's all about the XP, min-max, droppin' this next beat with a little Time Stop.

Pick it back up with a dose of Haste, when I be ridin' quick bitches can't stay chase. I'm making them paladins fall pressed up against my Wall of Force and I'm packin' like a pack horse.

When I'm at my club I be keepin' it crisp spinning DJ Tenser's Floating Disc.

Word.

>>5445503
i like your style, chaotic, maybe even exotic, not the kind you find on file, reminds me of mine, give you some time and experience, and youll be causing lyrical incidents and challenging existance with the rest of us! cuz.
i feel bad for the blue boy S&B just destroyed like he was raged on roids. man where all the other players? not even any sagers and naysayers, never mind rhyme creators.

copypasta gtfo

>>5445715
im really laughing here, thanks a lot! but copy pasta this is not, we are writing this up on the spot, what? is that too hard to beleive? you need to concede to truth, maybe even write your own? take a dive!
i only made that one up to keep this thread alive, biding time, till the other guys return with their rhymes ever so stern.

>>5445907
Take more time to write your rhymes, they're really not that good . Put your self in a better mood, it's really quite sublime.

>>5446221
you cant take time in a freestyle! you gotta have a pile of rhymes in your head you just pick from, speed like orks painted red. my styles weird anyway, but feared all the same, its just one long line of half rhymes, and off time rythms, but hey, thats the way its gonna stay, i quite enjoy this way of play, better get used to it.

>>5446293
Haste makes waste, my momma said, and the same is true for battles. To succeed you need a cooler head, lest it become just prattle.

>>5446293
Deeplich, yo' rhymes are totally wack, best take a lesson from MC Sneak Attack! You're gonna crack when I point out what you lack. Don't you know how to rap? Reading what you write is like taking a slap, from my ho - unacceptable. The charm in your poetry is near imperceptible. You best be susceptible to a little bit of learning, otherwise you won't be earning your keep, so I don't wanna hear a peep from a rookie like you - hell, I can rhyme better in my sleep, than a lich from the deep.

>>5446327
hoho, i like it! smooth slow flow, seems we are at odds though, my line plods then sprints, can it not convince you that the irregular is better? superior?

>>5446391
whoa shit! back from the blue, its you! sneak attack, my rhymes sliding through your mind like a snake entwined to your memories, i still hate your kind, fast to start and fast to finish im sitting back laughing while your skills deminish, and while i formulate domination, and create annihilation, you masturbate in isolation
it was time wasted that they used to have you artificially inseminated, and i was getting nookie aeons before that, rookie i aint, go back to your crayons kiddo.
i mentioned before that my style is chaotic, and to be honest you look like you got yours from Hot Topic

I'mma level 24 fighta
Cleric buffin' my attacka
Bard talk back I make a fist and I smacka
Rogue pulled a blade
So I cut off his head
Thought he'd roll a 20 now his dumbass is dead!

Sage for this thread not being metal.

>>5446580

Here, have some common ground

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBA-xi8WuCU

>>5446391
Sneak Attack! Your lines have made me smile and laugh, so here's some thanks on this Anon's behalf .

DeepLich, you've got me in a stitch with your steady acceleration, but sometimes your train never leaves the station. There's nothing wrong with refining - rhymes can age like milk, no whining, instead of fine wine for dining.
Still, I admire your speed and how you're bold - stay gold, DeepLich, stay gold.

>>5446607
if thats limp bizkit im gonna fuckin.....
..shit, thats actually awesome

;_; I wish I knew what you guys were talking about, and I wish I could rap.

There aren't any words for how awesome this thread is.

>>5446508
Chaotic style? Not worth my while. Consider this your trial - I'm Judge, Jury, and you, I'm gonna execute, spitting out your rhymes like a 50 Copper prostitute. When I'm done with you? You'll be destitute. Living in a box, tugging on your cock - you won't have shit to steal, so you needn't buy a lock! You best walk, boy, the competition's too hot - incendiary rhymes remind you what you're not, a skilled rapper, you got nothing! Know your lot, DeepLich, I catch that nervous twitch with a Spot check of 20, run like a bitch, cuz I can hear you shakin' plenty. Run off quick, you got nowhere to hide - Sneak Attack is always beside you. My victory? Implied. Like a shadow, I glide. Don't think I'll misguide you, I'll get upside you for extra damage, a stab in the back. You think you can take me, you boney old hack? Or are you taken aback? You crazy skeletal quack. It's up to Sneak Attack to pick up your slack.

Ho' shit, I was just reading the archived thread with that Lich when I stumbled upon this.
Get this on sup/tg/.
I love me some raps about D&D.

>>5446658
Ho there, Sneak Attack, this isn't /v/ - your Courage's not high enough to backstab me
Or should I say us, for Anon is we, and our name's marked in history
But enough of this, this party for two
How about rolling some dice, true blue?
If you succeed, then the Emperor be praised - his holy hand is on you today.
If you fail...there are no tales.

I have a new appreciation for rap now. We need Sword and Board and MC Divine Justice to make some sort of fa/tg/uy super rap group.

>>5446726
Shut up, fool, yeah I'm talking to you
I'm about to take you to school
This ain't rap, no lips to flap
All this is, is a rap battle
So don't be afraid and don't delay
Get started and join the fray

NOTHING CAN BREAK US
NO ONE CAN MAKE US
GIVE OUR RIGHTS AWAY
ARISE AND SEIZE THE DAY

Well well well, look what we got here, buncha pretenders thinkin they got game? Well now, its time for DJ Phylactery, the Unliving King of Verse, the Master of Arcane Rhyme, the Eldritch Emcee, to step into the fray.

Check it:

So I'm cruisin through my dungeon and what do I see? Some half baked adventurers takin' a stab at me. Scrubs and newbies shootin for my throne, rollin out in stank mounts, spittin rhymes that make me moan. Or they would, that is, if I had vocal chordes to groan. I don't need no biology to spit my rhymes, I burn with arcane fire, provoking desire and smiting all who raise my ire, and if you aspire to take me down, you'd best be pack your artifacts and clear out of town because when I'm around the bitches quake in fear, because it's clear that I reduce my foes to a bloody smear. It's called magic, dawg, learned through tomes, studying alone, cos I got no home. I was from the mean streets in realms forgotten, with a thirst for the knowledge that was misbegotten. And in case you thought I was always rotten, you'd best look within, I wasn't always a bastion of sin, with this rictus grin. I was flesh and blood, just a kid from the hood, tryin to make ends meet and get an education, better myself and improve my nation. So I cut a few corners, stole and robbed, when you're surrounded by Paladins its hard for evil kids to get a job. So you think you're real righteous? You think, if it's good you can do what you may? Motherfucker, step back, self-righteous punks like you MADE me this way. So you'd best kneel and pray, cos now you're all gonna pay as I scorch you to the bone with my hot rhymes, boiling your blood and smokin your ashes to kill the time, I'll roll you like a blunt and toss you around...if you step into my lair, bitch, you're going down.

Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns
Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

*bamf* The name's Doomrider, and I do cocaine!
Warp wicked rhymes driving psychers insane!
Emperor's Children, here to represent,
Bringing awesome to ya'll's basement!
Slaneesh my homeboy, homegirl, homeslice,
but don't think to take him as a god who's nice.
We're lovers and fighters, and both we do mix,
when we show up, everyone turns tricks!
So bend over buddy, and start prayin' for ma,
cause Doomrider's horny, NA-NA-NA-NA! *bamf*

rolled 5 = 5

>>5446708
Cowardly, me? Engaging in skullduggery, I foresee debauchery as I roll the dice. Let me be concise - The Emprah protects, but so does my Durex - we'll see if the dice rejects one of /tg/'s usual suspects.

>>5446761
Aw shit son!

>>5446772
SA, you truly are great
Or are you actually something awful?

I love you /tg/
Never change

>>5446658
can i change my name his late in the game? wanted to be DJ DeepLich... no? what a shame! ill do as i please.
hold on a sec, i have the most filth on my screen... cant read your post so many layers its obscene...
no wait, it was just your rap, hope that sliced your e-peen "judge sneak attack", time for me to get rowdy and slay this judge judy
saying youre a shadow is right, just an absence of light that cant fight, leightweight as you are and just for show coz deep down i know, behind all your spot checks and behind all that DEX, you havnt got enough HP to ride out rough sex, cuz you aint tough and you havnt got enough of ANYTHING you need if you want to challenge me, so step down, before i put you in the ground, a lovely everlasting sleep, and ill bury you
ooooh so deep......

>>5446793
I'm actually from /v/
Or perhaps /b/, they're one and the same
But I think I've finally found my home
In the one, the only
/tg/

>>5446810
Change your name, DeepLich
Better do it now, every hour you wait will keep you from doing it

>>5446761
hail to the king baby, now this parties gettin' crazay!

>>5446817
shit son!
its done! get off my back and out of my arsecrack!

>>5446854
I'm in your asscrack, DeepLich, and I'm licking away
Whatcha going to do about it, as your control flickers away towards the sweet feeling of orgasmic bitches

rolled 3 = 3

>>5446761
Well well well, /tg/'s rhyming master. The only way to make this competition end faster would be if you were holding it in bed, like your woman always said, she couldn't give you head because you're so damned premature - there's no way you can endure this contest of lyrical skill, when you're all tired out I'll get up in your grill, come in for the kill, your guts I will spill, your woman I'll fulfill. She said you've got a miniature schnauser, this dashing rogue's got an alsatian - rolling 20 for peform checks, it's poetic domination. You better beware when I step in your lair - best go home to Bel Air, this debonair rogue will take you from billionaire to crying without a prayer. Not that you have a god, you evil old fuck, Tymora won't be answering because you're shit out of luck, you rap like a pickup truck - sure you're good at throwing around your weight, but really, it's just another way to masturbate. You're in your mid-live crisis at one-thousand twenty-five, while good Ol' Sneak Attack has never felt more alive.

My name is Doctor Doom
Not Thulsa, Victor Von
I put you in your tomb
When I turn the magic on
My spells got the world eating
Right out of my hand
And when you take a beating
My line is "Just as planned!"
I'm gunning for
The Fantastic Four
I got the need
To kill Richard Reed
But still I'll protect
All you earthly rejects
From Annihilation
With my symbiote invasion!
I escaped from Hell
Where my mother fell
Ridin' on Thor's hammer
Through space just like Spelljammer
And when I get back
All of my robots attack
I'm back with a plan
Like Black Sabbath's "Iron Man"

I'm terrible at rhymes,
but I've been through life a million times
my /tg/ knowledge is lacking you'll find
still, i cannot simply resign
watching all of you not in your right mind
it's my duty, that is so,
surveying, praying, be sure to know
so i've said my part now,
the only thing left to say is hauuu~!

>I'm gunning for
>The Fantastic Four
>I got the need
>To kill Richard Reed
i lold and i dont even know why, i just saw it as doctor doom trying to explain it to a retard, so short and sharp, its nasty

rolled 2 = 2

>>5446810
DJ Deeplich, I never had a doubt that I'd be the victor of this lyrical bout. I got the most poetic clout, while your rapping dries up like a Saharan drought. You say I ain't tough, but it seems like you've had enough - you simply don't have the CONstitution to proceed with this bawdy lyrical prostitution you call rap, and I call crap. Looks like you got caught in your own trap, I watch as you yap mindlessly. I see you don't want to be MC - just a disc jockey. Could it be you realised that you were getting cocky? The REAL MC is here, there ain't no need to fear. There ain't never been a rogue so dashing and cavalier. I'm at the frontier of rhyme, been here all the time, listening to that crime you call your beats. Well, to me, they ain't treats, each and every one are your defeats.

>>5446892
Better roll some knowledge checks, your ass be misinformed; DJ Phylactery drops the rhymes like a Warlock castin his hex; dominations part of my norm. You think I got one woman? I roll with a harem, the finest undead bitches cater to me, when your ass would just be scared of 'em. I got no guts to spill, and I take my fill of all the bitches in the realm, fucked the Paladin's wife back home while wearin his helm, plowed the druid's ho and made her wail like a cat, and as for your bitch man, well I wouldn't even bother to hit that. My bone's a rod of lordly might, while you're packin a dagger, more endurance than a bear, and I got all the nessecary swagger. Rogues do it from behind? That's cos they can't stand to look at your face. You're fast, but premature cos your con's a disgrace. I got no need for self buffs, I go all night long, you need a wand of enlarge person just so the bitches can see your dong. I fucked that bitch tymora right in her coin purse, don't need luck at all when you're a master of magic and verse. Got it on goin strong with Shar AND Silvanus, I whipped it out and they shout "that's no moon!" and then "call us." But the joke's on them, I ain't a one woman man, the whole multiverse is my bitch; it's all part of my plan.

>>5442616
>>5438983

>>5447034
>>Rogues do it from behind? That's cos they can't stand to look at your face.

rolled 8 = 8

>>5447034
Every hit from my dagger is a critical, hell, no need to get political, the DEX writes the cheques - it's all about grace, something you don't know, much like your proper place. At my heel, is what I'm implying - the natural order is what you're defying, though you're used to that, it's old hat, shame you don't have a common sense stat, because the ladies don't like dead. They hate cold and clammy and come to me instead. You might be a mighty wizard of sheer arcane dread, but what use is that when you can't get any head? Maybe you were mislead when they said Casters get the bitches, because none of my hoes would be seen dead with liches. Whereas I get itches in my britches every time I go outside, you slink along the street and all the women go to hide. You shouldn't have died, where's your pride? I see you get starry-eyed at how well I'm supplied. Hell, it's known nationwide. Your rod of lordly might is surely misapplied, cause all the women tell me that it's sting has been denied.

rolled 15 = 15

MC Sneak Attack out, motherfuckers.
Work rears it's ugly head in the morn. Much like DJ P's undead mom in my porn.

>>5447018
mmmm imma disc jockey coz i feel that beat, deep, MC felt like deceit, claiming i was lyric over music, which is wrong, i love the way that bass creep too much to devote my name to rhymes, and even though my main focus be basslines, im still laying waste to that bland colourless paste you call your art, its like beating you at your own choice of sport, with my right hand behind my back, ready to hurl death when you try that sneak attack, i got more rhymes than sand in that saharan, so run fast like i know you can, you wont last a round with me again, now back into your pen, dog, because im so cold the very air around me is fog, so old that the gods have forgot, im off to brew up some earl grey tea, so stay like a good pup, while i find my damn cup, itll be fun watching you try to take me.

>>5447201
While you're flippin around, actin a clown, you ain't got the wisdom to see that you're just makin the girl frown. You think it's the motion of the ocean? Your ass needs a love poition to get any tail, while I work it slow and steady, all night, makin the banshees wail, workin so hot I turn ice genasi to hail, earth to shale, makin your weak acrobatics look pale, don't need to be healthy and hale when you're animated by the necrotic, I can fuck all the bitches and then be out the door enforcing my will despotic. Because it aint just about the hoes, there's more to life than bitches, you gotta get power, acquire the riches, fulfill the ambitions that last beyond death. What good is your plunder when you've breathed your last breath? I rule, I repress, I school, and I confess I've got plans of domination, gonna rule every nation, bring all you heroes to heal, punish your zeal and show just how hard life is when DJ Phylactery gets real. You think you got skill? Think you're the shit? What's your legacy gonna be, besides a lowly pick pocket?

>>5447231
gaaaaahh i was just too late
they both replied in time before mine.... but shuttup guys i was hungry, went and bested some PCs turned them to slime and then ingested them.

>>5446761

OH SHIT IT'S PHYLACTERY, NOW IT'S A FUCKING BATTLE.

Take this time to readjust your face before I ROCK IT OFF

>>5447285
If it ain't SB, flauntin his abs at DJ Phylactery, what, you tryin to seduce me? That's a cool story bro, tryin to make me your ho, but you must know that I don't swing that way, got too many bitches to play at being gay, besides, if I liked it like that you'd not be my type, I like em hot and smart, and all you've got is that little butter knife. Take a deep breath? I don't need no pity. I premeptivly attack, scatter you across the city before you can muster up your rhymes so shitty. You're just a bag of meat, thinkin you got game, you may school these newbies, but I bring the REAL pain. DJ Phylactery, don't need no sword, don't need no board, I know the score and you just make me bored. My spells are horde, my power is legion, so put on a shirt, bitch, before I disintigrate your nether region.

>>5447285
OH SHI-

Also if anyone hasn't requested this thread be archived, you're stupid. If it has, then I'm stupid.

anyway, proceed

>>5447285
may i be the first to say it?
OH SHIT!
my face is readjusted! and someones going to get theirs busted! but which? the warrior or the lich?
the tension is killing me nice and steady folks, or it would if i wasnt allready dead.

>>5447375
>>5447373
OH SHIT mind

GOD DAMMIT dude here,
I was gonna do a thread.
But I saw this motherfucker,
I'll go play Fallout 3 instead.
After reading your rhymes, it would be quite a sin
To overload one night of /tg/ with this much win.

Peace, fags. Keep your eyes open for one of my threads tomorrow night.

I wish I could rap like you guys, give me some tips!

>>5447437
dont make another tommorow, dude, shit, dont ever make any
this does not want to be overdone, do you hear me?
dont make ANY
they will erupt naturally when there hasnt been one for long enough, say, 3 weeks.
>>5447452
read books to increase your vocabulary then link them in rhyme
its easy

So phylactery, what's it been--damn near going on weeks?
You been rotting in a tomb while I'm perfecting my technique?
I been bustin it up in three threads now, and every rhyme I spit is unique,
think you can compete when your flow's antique?
I've been out winning battles, you been in gettin' weak,
and now my winning streak, I'm looking to extend,
like a genius into darkness I do descend,
prepared to transcend and challenge all things psychotic,
I ain't good or evil, but neutral chaotic,
my soul's aphotic, so we equal in force,
unstoppable versus immovable on a collision course.

Dissin' my sword and shield, you dissin my namesake,
but don't think I need 'em, bitch that's a mistake,
I'll go Beowulf nigga, dual wielding my fists,
shruggin' off whatever you throw at me with perfect resists,
you got three limp-wrists in comparison,
A skeleton without muscles is like an unarmored garrison.
My abs equal armor; every spell you cast might as well be an orison

contributin'.....what eva....i tried

Come to 4chan and what do you see
All these shit boards like the /b/ and the /v/
Then you stumble upon a real gem
A keeper like /tg/

You see us fa/tg/uys keep rhymes flowin' all day
We do this shit sober; we don't need to hit a J
But here is what i am truly tryin' to say

/tg/ rhymes are the illest
We'll blow you up in an Armageddon
Just like Bruce Willis

Gimli son of Gloin, and I'm here to say
I'm the dorfiest guy on these boards today.
All you pointy-eared freaks better get off my turf
Cause my biceps be bulgin' when bringin' the hurt
On the edge of my blade, and you sure as hell know
When you have my axe there ain't nothing that flows
As damn fine as its mithril and steel-plated blow
Ask 42 orcs if you join them below,
Gimli the dorf is on top of the show.

Moria REPRESENT!

>>5447640

shush. we're waiting for phylactery.

>>5447528
You fight every battle cos you need the xp. These other threads were nothin but a bag of rats, to me. I said I'm epic tier, my hesitation aint from fear, its just beneath me to go against you queers. I got better things to do with my time; world domination, crystalizing my rhyme, working to find ever more power, striking you down, throw your corpse from my tower, so you'd best start to cower, beg for your life, maybe then I'll be kind and limit your strife.

So you fight for yourself, that's worth some respect, no hypocritical morals did you select. But neutrality aint nothin' but evil minus balls; my spells are backed by conviction, strong enough to shatter walls. That cardboard shield that you weild just won't hold up, raining so many d6s, you'll be cryin "ENOUGH!" No matter how great your defense, you just can't resist me, your rhymes are sissy, so don't be acting pissy when my unstoppable force rolls over what you can resist. You may be tough to move, but I'm a JUGGERNAUT bitch.

>/tg/ rhymes are the illest
>We'll blow you up in an Armageddon
>Just like Bruce Willis
well damnit i lold
also, is 4chan breaking for everyone else?
not just me?
i wont have 4chan break on a thread this good, it is not allowed.

>>5447704

My entire internet's been wonky.

It's thy holy father, some call me cleric
coming down to purge thou heathen heretics
bow down
do thy truly think you can claim his crown?
forging holy fire, crushing thine flesh and bone
our holy father
who art in heaven
standing behind me and my brethren
unholy cowards don't even bother

>>5447888
Man, talkin bout edition is crazy on /tg/. Too bad, you need all the sploits you can get to stand a chance against DJ Phylactery. My power's universal, don't matter what incarnation; THAC0, Feats, Powers, it's all part of my domination. I'm cross edition, older than the planes, Elminster, Blackstaff, Vol, they ain't nothin but stains. I don't even take shit from the Lady of Pain, I got so much game, you're wavin your sword actin like you ain't already tamed, and it's a real shame that you came so soon, because you need to step up your game if you fain to fight someone like me, you must be insane. You got cred on the street, but I got you beat, I'm known and feared in dimensions replete. Dark Sun, Eberron,Spell Jammer, Ravenloft, I've raided more tombs than Laura Croft, tamed a Grey Hawk and cast evil spells before they ever imagined the Warlock. The Tomb of Horrors is just a bore, the Elemental Evil has been pillaged of all it's lore. I've stomped every module, runnin around like I'm in God mode. Got so much power I might as well have Divine Ranks. I'd walk right up to AO and stab him with my shank. What I mean to say, boy, is you're out of your depth, muscle and attitude don't hold up to someone with my step, so you'd best schlep your ass out of my tomb, before I shove you, head first, back into your mama's womb.

>>5447670

I know all about bags of rats being used as ammunition,
Too bad I can't get infinite whirlwind cleaves in your DnD: PUSSY EDITION,
3.5 and up makes caster vs. melee a war of attrition,
but I'm in perfect condition to perform some undead demolition,
you think I don't got the stones? I'll teabag you straight into submission,
I'm ten times more of a man than some undead half-apparition.

You may the juggernaut, but nothing can get the BLOB to move,
Now subtract the fat, add my muscle and throw in the badass attitude.
Ever wonder how a dude could rap so hard,
with twenty-two ranks of fighter and a not a single level of bard?
Let me give you my card, boot-stamped across your skull,
rendering your street cred completely void and null.
I owe you a beating and I expect to pay in full,
I'll bull charge in, pushing you back tens space,
Sheath my sword, while drawing my weapon, proceeding straight to skullfuckin' the ugly off your bony-ass face.

The Madman MC got some words to spit,
My homie SB is who I'm wit'
DJ Phylac, respect for yo game
But SB up inhere, makin yo rhymes so lame.

>>5447950

Bananas, deep fried crispy, is what the Lich be spittin',
but my resolve's strong, you'll find me unremitting.
In Eberron they fear you--how about the Underdark?
I turned the whole place into a Sword n' Board amusement park.
But if you want proof that I'm hardcore, watch me WIN the Blood War,
a one-sided victory against devils and demon hordes,
I'll exterminate the lower planes and fill them with gore,
My choppin' arm calls out for more: it never gets sore.
Ain't no lore locale, where I haven't played, ruined people's shit, or gotten laid.
So take it home DJP, I ain't afraid,
I've been rhymin' it raw for days on a merciless tirade,
and I won't be swayed until I've ended your charade;
you won't be so smug on the receiving end of my blade.

Phylactery's got sick rhymes and he's a faster freestyler... but S&B has been holding his own in this thread for a solid 24 hour day.

fuuuuuuuck

>>5448196
Ain't no two better for a /tg/ rap battle. Some worthy attempts, but damn if those two aren't the best around.

>>5448141
Ever wonder why they're lezzin out so hard in the Underdark? It's cos Lloth swore off men after DJ P broke her heart. I put the dick to her so good, ain't nothin else compare, so now her priests lick more salmon than yogi the bear. But let me make you aware of just how unfair this contest is; Who do you think trained Vecna when he was just a lil' Wiz? I'm more Mary Sue than Raistilin, more magic than Bulls-Eye, pullin memes from other boards, my sizzlin rhymes make you fry. You swing your pig-sticker like you're chokin' your chicken, but just mentioning my name makes my foes sicken. Because I'm an OP OG, you see, got more templates stacked than druid's got herbs, more spells in my book than Salvatore's got adverbs, More Grim than the reaper, more Dark than the Under, I never stop the slaughter, never stop the plunder. But why we fightin? We've both got some skill; I got no need for all this gold, my magic keeps my coffers filled. You'd be a waste to kill, since watchin you spill rhymes has filled my black heart with a thrill, even though it lies still. I could use a good agent, to do some hard slayin, why not work for me for a couple of payments? You don't swear loyalty; I can dig that, I prefer mercenaries when I need someone whacked. Loyal guards are better to keep close at hand, but I need someone like you to kill heroes in foreign lands. You make a good foe, but what do you say? Why not DJ Phylactery pay your way?

>>5448223

Last I checked, I didn't have any luck left to collect,
but I challenged the Lich to honorable combat, and won mutual respect,
greater beings than we may have come off completely wrecked.

The Lich had savage skill, and I already spent my rhymes,
wasting the best I had on foes comparitively small time,
as for a winner to the rap battle,
that shit's plain to see.
was a clash of the titans, and the winner was /tg/

mad props to you Phylactery, you flow like a fuckin' champ.

Bravo Sirs. I'm never going to even attempt to rap as long as you two lyrical behemoths continue to duel.

>>5448223
>>5448285

ITT white nerds STILL think they can rap.

>>5448141

From the deepest depths MC Beard emerges,
Spitting those rhymes that become ya'lls dirges,
I'm reppin' Mithral Hall so raise your motherfucking tankard,
But don't be a bitch like Sword n' Board cause that shit gets me rancored,
The rhymes he crafts are weak you don't need a racial bonus to see it,
The only way he can win rap battles is by DM fiat.
So step aside Sword n' Board pass that mic down here,
cause when it comes to the rap game I'm the next Emir.
You're trifling, your Prestige Class is nerfed,
I could take you down to -10 using only my girth,
I'm master craftsman, my Crafting DC is nil,
You'd have to dig too deep to find someone nearly this ill,
So let's hear what you've got Sword n' Board and please don't stammer,
Because when it comes to spitting rhymes your ass is an anvil,
and my dick is the hammer.

>>5448285
Lyric for lyric, might versus magic. The results were amazing when they could have been tragic. A wall of defense, an unstoppable force, a battle so intense it shook /tg/ to the core. Our rhymes were so potent they broke the website, all watching on could only cower in fright tonight. A titan of rhyme, a monolith of verse, any other foe would've needed a hearse. DJ Phylactery and Mix Master SB back in the saddle. Let the forces of good beware our next rap battle.

Respect SB, you spit heat like no other, DJ P is proud to call you his brother. So pound this bony bro-fist, and take a measure of pride, your rhymes were hard to resist, and that ain't no lie. DJ Phylactery out, foolish mortals, dig my exit through this sweet magic portal.

>>5448336

I'll make sure there are more rap threads in the future. Not as much to the point where they get stale, but this shit was epic. Grats on a good battle Phylactery, I'd say you came out on top.

Now time to drink.

These threads have a consistancy for excellence. Mega props to all who kept it alive for 24 hrs.

I wish I played D&D now, so I could do this...

pic related, it's me when i see these threads.

>>5448334
Maybe next time, dorf.

>>5448393

Maybe he should just read the rest of the thread instead, and realize he's got absolutely nothing on s&b, and is retarded for calling him out. The rap battle's over.

>>5448424

Since when was this a two-man show? Just because the main players are gone doesn't mean we can't continue. If their rhyming inspired some of the denizens of /tg/ to give it a shot, that's a great thing.

>>5448334

Backside attacks got me unable to relax,
with poser dwarves threatening, trying to grind me an axe,
but where do you get off thinkin' that you're my match,
trying to attach onto me and make yourself a name?
We ain't even the same, you tryin' to be parasitic,
why don't you take a look around you before you spit rhymes so paralytic?
But I guess you don't have to be an expert to be a critic,
Ebert and Roeper thumbed you down so much, they BOTH became arthritic.
It would be sadistic, but I could go on all night,
but fatigue's setting in, and I'm full up on the fight.
So why don't you find someone else who'll bite,
Battle someone yo' own size and get out of my sight.

>>5448434
>>5448424
>>5448393

I deliver. NOW GOODNIGHT.

HOLY FUUUUCCKKKKK
their battle was so fucking intense it actually broke 4chan for a short while, i got locked out and came back to see all of this, simply glorious.
both of you, shit, amazing.
any news of Death Knight? hes the only one to not make a return... well its early morning and im retreating to my tomb, see you next time guys.

also DRAWFAGS JESUS CHRIST GET IN HERE

>I put the dick to her so good, ain't nothin else compare, so now her priests lick more salmon than yogi the bear.

God damn DJ Phylactery is legendary.

>>5448673

Also DJ Phylactery needs an avatar. I was thinking this as it's the last pic he used the last time he was rockin' shit.

Beer
Rhymes with fear
Drink with me
Or I'll cut off your fucking ear